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Dancing With Your Ghost (A Seasons Of Love story)

Summary:

I stay up all night
Tell myself I'm alright
Baby, you're just harder to see than most
I put the record on
Wait 'til I hear our song
Every night I'm dancing with your ghost

Notes:

DISCLAIMER:This very short fic depicts the death of one of the main characters. It's not graphic, and I am very gentle, but if someone's passing and/or stories about grief are something you find yourself unable to stomach, please refrain from reading this. The rating is so low because of the gentleness and the lack of graphic depictions, but if you feel like this needs a higher rating, I will rerate it.

 

While this fic does take place in the Seasons of Love universe, I will make it clear that I do not consider this to be the in-verse 'canon' ending for Wangxian, if that makes sense. In my head they live happily to a very old age together. There is a reason why I wrote this back when I did, and I will elaborate more on it in the end notes, but it's the main reason why this is not included in the main series. I talked about this in the end notes of Spring Blossoms, and some people expressed interest in it, so here you go.

The fic title and the summary are both fromDancing With Your Ghost" by Sasha Alex Sloan.

I am sorry.

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

It’s a cold winter evening. Snow is covering the ground around the farmhouse, the fairy lights in the trees giving the whole scenery an almost ethereal quality.

As if it’s a scene from a picture book, Sizhui thinks while looking back at the house. He has always loved this house that had become a home for him so quickly and has never ceased to be one, even if he now has his own house and his own family to return to.

His daughter yawns, snuggles closer to him, and Sizhui shifts her on his arm so that she’s easier to carry. She should be in bed by now, but she wanted to say goodbye to Uncle Jingyi, since it’s time for him to drive home.

"Will you stay for much longer?" Jingyi asks while he loads his suitcase into the trunk of his car.

"Only a few days, then I'll drive home too," Sizhui replies. "Before the snow gets too dense to drive."

Jingyi nods. “I wouldn’t wish to drive in this weather even if I got paid for it.”

He closes his trunk, looks back at the farmhouse, then frowns. "You sure you shouldn't stay for a while longer? I don't wanna be rude, but he kinda worries me."

He jerks his head over to the living room window, a soft glow painting shadows onto the snow-covered hedges outside.

Inside, there's Lan Wangji, his long braid streaked with grey, swaying to music that doesn't reach the outside of the house. His eyes are closed, his smile small but serene.

It's as if he was holding someone, but...he's alone.

Sizhui smiles at the sight, equally tender but with a sad edge.

"Don't worry about him," he tells Jingyi. "He's just dancing."

Jingyi raises an eyebrow. "Dancing? With whom?

"With Baba's ghost."

 

***

 

"Dance with me, Lan Zhan," Wei Ying makes him promise, "even after I'm gone."

"Wei Ying..." Lan Wangji begins, knowing very well in which direction this conversation is going and not willing to take that route just yet.

"Promise me.” Wei Wuxian insists. “I don't want you to get out of practise for when we meet again. Because we will, and when we do, I am never going to stop dancing with you."

So Lan Wangji  promises. Wei Ying's heart has been giving them more grief the past few years, and while the prospect of waking up alone one day is terrifying Lan Wangji, both have lived a long happy life together, and have made peace with the inevitable.

 

***

 

In the end, Wei Ying asks for a fresh cup of tea while they are watching a movie, curled up against each other on the sofa. He steals a kiss from his husband as Lan Wangji gets up to fetch him a refill.

When he returns, Wei Ying is on the couch, wrapped in a blanket Lan Wangji has knitted himself, eyes closed, with a smile on his face.

He looks like a painting, Lan Wangji thinks, as if he could rouse him from sleep just by running his hand through his hair.

Lan Wangji knows he’s not sleeping. He calls the paramedics, sits down, and with tears in his eyes and a broken heart, holds his beloved's hand until they arrive. He’s loathe to let it go when the time comes, but he knows in his heart that he will hold it again, one day. That his love will be waiting for him, with open arms, a warm smile and sparkling eyes, and they will dance, joined in love until the end of time, or until life calls them once more.

Notes:

So. This is what happens when I write sad endings.

I wrote this in August 2022, as a small threadfic on Twitter. My uncle had passed in February of the same year, and just a few days before I wrote this, a friend of mine lost one of their parents, both to the same illness. On top of that there was an incident that had me believing for a hot second that my partner had died - she's fine, but I was shaken up for days after that. So I got pretty melancholy and I thought a lot about the people I'd lost. I'm not afraid to talk about death in general, and I'm one of those people who find themselves mentally preparing to have to let someone go, especially when they're older.

As a teen, I did an internship in a nursing home for the elderly, and many were like "Oh it's okay. We lived our lives. We're happy. We're also happy to still be here but when the time comes, it comes, and it will be okay." That gave me a sense of peace. It's something I would want for my love and me, you know? Growing old together and reaching that point, which will be sad, and will be painful, but we're happy, and it will be okay.

I guess I was trying to see the gentler side of something so painful, and I remember that I made half of Twitter cry with this, so...if I made you cry too? I am really sorry. Remember, this is not my in-verse 'canon' ending for these two; this was just me trying to explore complicated feelings in fic and using Wangxian as my guinea pigs.

I still believe they will live together until they are literally little old men.

To make up for this mess, I have another threadfic I am going to clean up and post soon - a funny one, this time around, so stay tuned for that. Let me hand you a mental tissue and give you a hug, and please remember to hug your loved ones and tell them that you love them and that you're proud of them.

I love you all so much

Rima

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