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They shove them back into cells after sentencing them to death, and Ben just stares at the bars. He can hear Dad in the cell next to him and Hal in the other cell next to Dad, but he can’t find it in him to move and to check on them. He knows he should, but he can’t quite get his body to respond. All he can feel is a pulsating pain in his back. It’s like the rest of his body doesn’t exist.
Ben can hear Dad’s voice calling to him, getting louder and more persistent, and he manages to turn his head to face him. He’s kneeling and stretching his arm through the bars, but he can’t quite reach Ben. It’s good because Ben doesn’t want anyone to touch him ever again.
“Ben, please, just say something,” Dad begs. “Anything.”
“Sorry I got you dragged into this,” Ben says. “You guys should have just run.”
“Never,” Dad says. “We’d never abandon you like that.”
Ben doesn’t want to try to explain to Dad that it doesn’t feel like there’s anything left inside Ben for Dad to have abandoned. It had hurt when he was getting used to the spikes, it had hurt when they took his spikes to give to Maggie, and it had hurt when she had taken them out, but nothing in his life has ever hurt as deeply and intimately as when that man pulled his spike out.
He had been so helpless, strapped down and unable to do anything to protect himself. It had been like being captured by the Espheni to be harnessed again, and Ben just laid there as they ripped out part of him.
And now he can’t do anything to keep Dad and Hal safe. Being sentenced to death wouldn’t be so bad if he were alone.
“It’s okay,” Ben assures him. “I don’t know if I can help you fight our way out of here, so if you have to leave me behind, I understand.”
“You’ll get better,” Dad assures him. “And we’ll get you out of here so you can get better.”
“I’m just saying,” Ben looks around to make sure that they’re alone. “Make sure you tell Matt I love him, okay?” He doesn’t know where Matt is, but he doesn’t want to ask in case they’re listening in somehow.
“You’ll tell him yourself,” Dad says confidently. He reaches out and tries to touch him again. “Come here, let me look at your back.”
“It’s… whatever. It hurts, but it’s not going to change,” Ben says. He doesn’t want to keep looking into his dad’s scared face anymore, but he can’t look away.
“Ben, please,” Dad says. “Let me look at you.”
“No,” Ben says. “No touching.”
Dad drops his hand and nods a little, hurt flashing across his face. “Okay. No touching. But can you take your shirt off so I can see?”
Ben nods a little and turns, unzipping his hoodie. He closes his eyes as he lets it drop so both Dad and Hal can see.
He can hear both of them inhale sharply, so he can only imagine what his back looks like.
“Ben…” Dad’s voice is soft and scared.
Ben pulls his hoodie back on and zips it all the way back up, opening his eyes as he turns back to face Dad and Hal.
Hal looks as enraged as Ben has ever seen him, and he smacks his hand against the bars before starting to pace.
Dad just looks wrecked, resting his body against the cell wall between them. His hands are clenched into fists around the bars.
“I’m sorry,” Dad says quietly.
Ben just shrugs. “You didn’t know.”
Dad nods, face still pressed against the bars. “You’re going to be okay. I promise.”
“I love you, Dad, but please don’t make promises that you can’t keep,” Ben says. His body feels wrong. He feels empty inside. There’s nothing left of Ben, of the person he used to be. That he’s going to be okay again isn’t a promise anyone can keep.
Dad presses his lips together. “Okay. I promise that I’ll do everything that I possibly can to make sure that you get better.”
Ben doesn’t point out that it could come down to Dad having to torture another overlord with him attached. This time, alone. The only super freak left.
“Thanks, Dad,” Ben says.
“You should get some rest,” Dad says. “You need some sleep.”
Ben nods, not because he thinks he’s going to be able to sleep but because he wants to stop talking to Dad. He lays on his stomach and closes his eyes, pretends to be asleep.
“There’s something wrong with him,” Hal says in a low voice. “Like, really, really wrong.”
Tom keeps looking back over his shoulder. “Yeah. I know.” He’s never seen Ben look so defeated and empty.
“What are we supposed to do, Dad?” Hal says. “I never knew how to talk to him before everything happened, and now…” He just shrugs hopelessly. “But he’s my brother.”
“We just have to try listening to him so we can help him as best we can,” Tom says. “Other than that, there’s nothing else we can do, especially not from here.”
“We’ve gotta get him out. I know they’re gonna kill us, so duh, but what if they want to do something else to him before putting us in front of the firing squad?” Hal asks. “They don’t really think of him as a person, and these men are sick.”
That thought had crossed Tom’s mind as well. They could decide to execute him and Hal, but keep Ben alive to hurt for fun. “There’s got to be a weak spot somewhere. We’ll find it, exploit it, and get all of us out.”
Hal inhales sharply, nodding. “Good plan. Now we just… need a plan.”
Tom nods and starts thinking, trying not to check on Ben constantly. It’s hard. He’s still shaking and from what Tom can see, still pale as death.