Chapter Text
Aemond Targaryen is an ugly m*therf*cker! His chin looks like it's been through ten world wars! Why is he even considered a popular character in DotD? The fanboys and fangirls only like him cuz he's "hot". You guys need to get your eyes checked! lol no hate tho
Luke scoffs. Idiots thinking that the only possible reason people would even like a character was because they found them hot was ludicrous, utterly stupidly insane.
Yes! Aemond Targaryen is hot as fuck. If the art inside the book is accurate, handsome and hot and gorgeous. In fact, the official art actually seems to lack the befuddling charm that dragon-riding man was described to have. The author may have written Aemond to be a terrifying, one-eyed psychopath, but Aemond, supposedly in the same line expanding on his bloodthirsty quest was described to have a peculiar beauty, an ethereal quality that added to his eccentric appearance. A deadly beauty that caused people to look away. It evoked fear even. It's true. Luke could read between the lines just fine.
Chugging down a whole can of soda, Luke cracks his neck, stretching out his fingers as he begins to formulate his response.
Plebeians like you certainly wouldn't understand the intricate nuances of a character that doesn't have "please I am a uwu main character" plastered on their foreheads. Illiterates like you wouldn't be able to even comprehend the alphabet if your life depended on it considering your utter lack of media literacy…
… his role in the whole DotD series is integral to even the tiniest bit of plot which I'm sure you lot discard because it doesn't have gratuitous sex scenes or mind numbing and dull action sequences that would put Michael Bay to shame. So, take your stupid, useless dolt of a "main character" who does nothing but waste precious paragraphs printed over processed tree carcasses and leave Aemond the fuck alone.
Being in a fandom space where a majority of the people have the reading comprehension of a toddler was taxing. Luke is used to this madness. Every day he wakes up, eats breakfast, goes to class, does his assignments, eats dinner and before going to bed, he peruses the hellscape that is the online forums for the DotD fandom. Because he's a masochist like that. Eyes boring holes into his laptop screen, he waits for user valzyrys08 to post a reply to his well thought out and textual evidence-based argument. He thinks maybe the fool doesn't have the adequate vocabulary for a response or maybe they ran away in shame unable to give a retort after the minutes tick by with no response in sight.
Then he hears the familiar sound of the notifications. A response. Hopefully one where user valzyrys08 is apologizing for spouting nonsense.
Lol you know he's not going to fuck you for defending him, right?
The amount of self-control Luke's currently channelling should frighten people. It should. He counts backwards from a hundred. Breathe.
100, 99, 98, 97, well it's a pity your dad wasn't wearing a condo-, 96, 95, 94, did mother not love you enough?, 93, 92, 91…
Luke counts upto 88 before he snaps and types out the most god forsaken, vile words he can think of. Screw being civil, he was going to hurl every insult known and unknown to mankind. He's had a rough day. His train got delayed, he got yelled at by his professor because of his tardiness, his favorite cafe was closed during lunch time, then some asshole decided to drive like a lunatic on the sidewalk, nearly running hin over. He has had enough playing nice for the day. And now user valzyrys08 was going to pay for the shitty day he's had. You fuck around and you shall find out.
… die forever alone you cave-troll, touch-starved fuckwit who learnt how to spell from eating cold, soggy alphabet soup!
Luke presses the enter button, well aware of the possibility that he could be banned for violating community guidelines. It was worth it though. He feels a sense of catharsis as he stands and stretches his body, ready to turn in for the night. As he turns, he's caught off-guard and his foot catches on a cable.
Time seems to move too slow, his whole world veering sideways. He sees the pale blue paint of his bedroom walls, picture frames of his family hung up, the sharp edge of his desk, near, far too near to his face.
Before Luke can catch himself, he feels a hard impact on his head, a throbbing pain blooming like a full body migraine. His mind is foggy, the carpet underneath him feels sticky, wet and warm. He thinks he sees blood pooling around him or maybe it's just his vision. Why was his vision growing red?
Luke hears the soft ping of his notifications going off in the background. Did he get a response? A ban? He belatedly realises that he might never find out.
A pity really, Luke thinks as he feels his body grow light, like he's floating on air. He wants to sleep now. It's growing late.
The sound of snickers tickle his ears as Luke jerks awake.
Disoriented, he grabs the nearest object. It's a body. Warm and soft and squishy. He looks up to see a young boy with dark brown hair looking back at him with concern. "Luke?"
Yes, Luke, that's his name. This doesn't look like his room. It's dark and gloomy and there's an unpleasant smell in the air that makes him want to gag.
Just a few steps away from them, another young boy, with white blonde hair, looking slightly older than the one next to him crows, "Behold! The Pink Dread!"
The blonde boy is gesturing to him, to Luke, or next to him. As soon as Luke turns to see what was next to him, he flinches. There's a massive pig, with wooden wings attached at the sides. And he's holding the reigns to it! What the actual fuck? He immediately let's go of the the reigns, stepping away from the animal, confusion filling his mind.
Whipping his head around, Luke sees another boy, same white blonde hair as the other but a bit shorter and with a sullen look. A look of hurt and shame marring his pretty face. What is happening? In the distance, he sees some bald men talking away what looks to be giant lizards, no, dragons? No, impossible.
This has got to be a joke. A nightmare. This isn't real, he tells himself. He's hyperventilating, he can feel the blood running through his veins, his teeth are clattering, and his eyes sting.
The tall blonde boy is cackling like a madman and his voice is grating, like nails on a chalkboard all the while Luke whimpers. His head hurts.
There's a loud screeching sound in his head as he kneels to the ground with a pained groan. He vaguely hears shouts of, "Luke! What's wrong?!" "Luke!" before he succumbs to darkness.