Chapter Text
It was a long day, Dazai had been nonstop in his constant quest to snuff out his own existence and Atsushi was exhausted after being tasked with making sure his mentor made it through the day. There was nothing more terrifying than the idea of Dazai just disappearing out his life.
But Dazai doesn’t want help, he never has. Dazai is never going to stop trying to die. He will always play with the idea of death. Sometimes he’ll get closer than usual and for a moment, Atsushi will genuinely believe that it’s the end. Only for Dazai to pop up out of nowhere, perfectly fine.
Luckily, he was home now. No suicidal manics in sight. No elaborate plans to die. Just his small, shared apartment. It was so late that Kyouka had already went to sleep by now. So he boiled some tea and heated up some leftover takeout. After getting his late night dinner he quietly turned on the news in hopes that some idle background noise would be an okay distraction.
The old TV hummed to life and Atsushi began flicking through channels. There were no children’s cartoons this late at night and adult cartoons were boring. Much to Atsushi’s dismay, the only things on were poker and movies he’d never heard of. Disappointed in cable television once again, Atsushi eventually gives up and turns on a rerun of tonight’s news.
Regret sucker punches him in the gut when the first thing he hears is a segment on an increase of deaths due to suicide, a painful reminder of today’s events.
“This just in! Here in Yokohama there’s been a horrifying increase in suicide rates. Most families say even if they knew, they were not prepared for such loss. If you or a loved one are struggling please accept help and understand that this is not the only way out.” The news anchor had a stereotypical tone and voice, to the point where it was almost upsetting to hear when there was the numbers to multiple suicide hotlines on the screen.
Atsushi turned the TV off without reaction, silently finishing his meal with a newfound bitterness to his tea. Despite his discomfort he was too exhausted to bother thinking about the pit in his stomach and therefore attributed it to hunger.
On autopilot he put his dishes in an empty sink, made a mental note to reward Kyouka for doing her chores without him asking, swept the floor, and went to sleep in his closet. Sleep came easily and he drifted off quickly.
Sleep came easily to Atsushi that night, but a happy dream failed to materialize into his mind
It was about a week after the funeral. The room was deathly silent after Dazai’s suicide. The air was heavy with grief. This meeting would have happened earlier but most who were closest to Dazai were too distraught to even make it to work. Kenji went to his home town, in search for comfort from his parents, and oh poor Kunikida, he and Dazai had been dating for awhile now. So unsurprisingly Kunikida was devastated, one might assume that a small part of him always had hoped he could convince Dazai to stay. To fix the unfixable, to mend the desecrated.
Fukuzawa began to speak, his voice heavy with a slight shake to it. “I apologize for demanding that you all attend this meeting. However, we must tend to the pressing matter of Dazai’s living conditions. Someone will need to collect his possessions from his home to and then professionals will be hired to clean out his home.”
“We also need to re-home his cat, which he stated in his will he wants to go to his boyfriend Kunikida.”
Kunikida shakily picked up his notebook and pen, beginning to write down the instructions Fukuzawa had given everyone. Except he was immediately interrupted by Atsushi, “No, let me get it” He grabbed the pen and book, Quickly jotting down everything that was said.
Atsushi surprisingly, was the most put together out of anyone. He planned most of the funeral, even helping Kyouka buy an appropriate black dress. He made it to work on time. He was a shoulder to cry on, there for all his friends, willing to help out with late paperwork, or help with groceries. It was hard to believe his best friend had died less than 2 weeks ago. Of course being “put together” and being okay are two different things.
“I’ll go.” Atsushi agreed, wanting to help as much as possible. Dazai meant so much to everyone. They deserved a break. He could take it, he could bear the burden if it meant no one else had to.