Work Text:
Another shit day Another day at work. At this stupid gas station. You’re really thinking of quitting and finding a better job… but after almost losing your apartment. And being eaten by that… ‘Realtor’ you’ll look for a job in your downtime which you're not really sure WHEN you’ll be getting it. It's just been sleep, wake, work, tv, repeat. For the last…. You want to say…3? Yeah 3 months since you moved here
It’s just been a bit exhausting? Doing the same thing. Like you're in a time loop or something. If you keep thinking about it, you're going to get an aneurysm or a mental illness. And you already have one of those and do NOT need another.
Fine fine FINE, you’ll get up. FINE another day another dollar you GUESS. Beats living with your shit parents. Or a trashy roommate that doesn't pick up after themself.
so! You pick your soggy ass up from your bed and hobble pathetically to your bathroom. And hopping your ass in the shower. p.T.A procedure. You know the fabled pits tits and ASS you tell the invisible audience in your mind. Keeps you sane, you think.
They stand in the shower spacing out. Slowly doing their PTA “procedure” wasting time. Adding onto the time loop and also how LATE they're going to be for work. As if they have a car and don't take the damn bus!. As if realizing this at the last moment they rinse the soap suds off of their still honestly still nasty feeling bod, quickly drying- dressing- and exiting the house with their essentials: Keys, Phone, Headphones. You know the basics .
Running down the apartment stairs and to the bus stop you accidentally spot a ‘new’ person at the usual bus stop. Which is. Weird you guess? You never reallypaid attention or honestly gave two magnanimous FUCKS about who waits for the bus here. But this guys weird, like SUPER fucking weird. Just staring. Like A LOT, not just a little glance or zoning out on you. Like STARING STARING. His eyes moving down and up your phone as he stands there and smiles. With his teeth? Their so… fuck okay hes got a lot of them.
As if he finally notices you actually exist and AREN'T a figment of his imagination he stops with his stupidly huge smile giving you a small normal one. You know just a little :), it's better than the other one. And you give a albeit timid one back. Then he looks away from you. Staring at the bus which is currently arriving… just. Being normal again? Is that whats happening? Just being fucking normal? Like that whole thing didn't just happen??? Okay, okay fine. Whatever.
…you just drag your sorry ass onto the bus. And you notice he gets on after you. A little too close for comfort. But not weirdly which doesn't make sense. More of just like a “ you're taking too long and i walk too fast and there is someone behind me so i can't exactly back up” . Either way it's not like he sits next to you, in fact he goes to the back of the bus. This calms you. He’s not a weirdo. OR a stalker. GREAT. Nothing to worry about on your way to work.
one shit bus ride later
you dropped your energy drink on yourself like an idiot. Thinking it was a good idea to take a sip while going over SEVERAL POTHOLES
what a day this is and it JUST started
anyways… WORK!
It's the same shit like any other day. Same people who come in for gas pumps. Cigs. or the regular snacks and coffee. Same shit. Different day… (at least you think) you haven't really checked in a few… days? Whatever, honestly. Who really cares right?
This thought makes you sweat and space out. Just standing in the booth zoning out on the cash register. Really dont know what fucking day it is. And honestly? Too fucking scared to check. All you know is that it feels like it's been way too long to be only one fucking day.
“...llo?”
“....-ello?”
“HEY!”
you jump back slightly in surprise, holding the bottom hemmings of your shirt in ‘i almost had a fucking heart attack jesus christ’
“W-woah! Easy easy… ! you okay?” The voice was surprisingly…pleasant. If not a little wavering… on like a slightly creepy deep voice. But it's not TOO creepy.
“You look like you're about to faint… are you okay?” you blink zoning back in regaining your vision proper- it's.. It's the guy from the bus stop. With that … smile he gave you before… about… 6 hours ago?... fuck it's been six hours?
“You're still not answering me… are you okay?” his voice was a tad gentler this time. As he stares at you with his yellow eyes. Eyeing you up and down. His large toothy smile faltered in concern.
“Y-yeah- yYES!. Yes I'm okay,,, just startled haha!.... Apologies sir-! W-what can i help you with today?” you say with a tremoring voice like you just came back from fainting like a fucking goat.
He looks at you with a confused face. His smile dropped. Tilting his head slightly like he was a horror movie villain.
“O~kay?...” he says a bit of amusement in his tone.
You both stare at each other for a bit longer, before you ask again, about what you can assist him with.
“Right! I forgot I came in here to just get a snack and a pack of those candy cigarettes you guys sell!. It's like chalk and it tastes pretty good on my teeth! Haha!"That's totally a normal thing to say. Besides you’ve heard crazier things “i Also just wanted to ask if i know you? I think I saw you earlier on the bus, but I wasn't too sure..” he says more sheepishly this time. And he hopes you can't see the love in his eyes. He wants more of you but. He’s only JUST met you.
“Y-yeah uh… I think I remember seeing you too! Crazy how small the world is right? Ha…ha…mnh…” this small talk shit is SUPER awkward. You ring him up telling him the total and wave goodbye at him as he leaves. Giving you a wave of his own in return… a little more pep in his step than a few seconds ago.
Weird.
Next day
AGAIN.
You decide not to shower. Considering you're late for work. After you passed out last night after work. You grab a can of energy, your keys all your other crap. And run down to the bus stop. Breathing a bit heavy as you don't usually run that often and your hearts a bit shit from all the caffeine you drink. So you sit. On the bench. And before you can look at your phone and wait for the bus. He’s there again. Just. staring at you. So you stare back. You're too exhausted to deal with this shit today. So a staring contest is what’ you'll have. You stare no GLARE at him. And soon after his smile droops and he looks away. A bit dejected. Not that you feel bad. You're miserably exhausted and late for your shift. Which you had JUST found out is going to last till graveyard hours. You look back down and scratch your thigh. The embarrassment of having a stare off with a stranger kicking in.
Work
and then more work..
He's back in the gas station store again. Buying… snacks? Making more small talk. This is.. Your graveyard shift you realize. There's no one but him and you in this little mini mart. And the glow of the fluorescent lights is giving you a headache. And he just sort of stands there staring out the window with you. But he turns to stare at you for a quick moment again. His stupid dumb smile is coming back. And you huff with a disgruntled ‘what’. He's been doing this for the last like 2 weeks? It feels like? Having a stare off with him at the bus stop, being assigned graveyard shift on top of a 10 hr one, making awkward small talk, then sitting in silence.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Okay it's been like 5 weeks. And this.. GUY you don't even know his name. Keep doing this. You don't even remember him half the time. You still don't even know his fucking name. It's really getting on your nerves- I MEAN- REALLY- LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN okay you think he's familiar but not enough to be an acquaintance- “did you cut your hair recently?”
..”what?” you say as you're snapped from your string of thoughts like a fisherman's failed hook and line.
“Did you cut your hair!, it looks different!, well something’ looks different!”he says more adamantly, staring at you again. It's really. REALLY freaking you out.
“Can you STOP staring at me man?” your voice came out harsher than intended. But he doesnt look away
“What” “fuck stop staring at me! It's weirding me the hell out!.”
“John”
“...huh??” what? John? Whos -
“Thats my name. John doe.”
“It’d be easier to pronounce than-” and you hear him make the loudest garbling and or static noise you've ever heard
you cringe at it as it sounds like nails on a fucking chalk board
“Yeah…okay john doe it is..” you sigh
“Whats your name?” he asks, staring at you once more. His toothy grin present once more
“*you*”
“...cool!” he says leaning back on the counter resting his head in the crook of his elbow staring at you
“...why are you always here?”
“...what do you mean?” he says
You groan and sigh frustrated. Wanting desperately to open one of the cigarette packs behind you and having a fucking smoke from all this/
“Why do you always hang out HERE in the dead of fucking night?! In THIS GAS STATION, CONSIDERABLY WHILE i’m working?!” you furrow your brows looking at him with crossed arms, your hair a mess from the long day and from messing with it while you work.
He takes a moment to think, before he shrugs “dunno!... why do i need a reason? It's not like im destroying the store or making people run away- im infact just SITTING here! Doing nothing!” he says smiling again.
You grumble and scoff with a smirk “yeah thats called loitering genius”
“Oh” is all he says. Still looking at you. You think his pupils where a little dilated while staring at you. Probably just imagination.
Week 8 give it up for week 8
Another graveyard shift. Another more awkward encounter with doe
You honestly think he enjoys the nickname maybe a little too much. Since he has decided that now you require his full attention at everymoment of every day. And it's nice? You feel it is anyway. But you cant, kick away this nagging feeling of forgetting who he is the moment he leaves the room, or the minute you go home away from him. And it feels like he notices it too.
So you decide to speak up
“Hey… doe… just wondering…”
You swallow dryly
“Do you also feel like somethings….wrong?”
He blinks, stopping and staring at you…face absent of a familiar smile.
“You know it about it too huh?” he says
He talks to fast. He says this faster than usual. And you almost miss it.
“Yeah- i do.” your face communicates uncomfortableness
He stares at you again. Before smiling and shaking his head “...do you like being scared?”
“Dude what?” you're confused. But you feel a weird sense of deja vu and you stop and stare at him. A feeling of panic combine with dejected tiredness washes over you like a tsunami
“You answered yes by the way. I remember that. You? Not so much” he says sounding dejected himself his eyes half lidded as he leans a tad bit closer to your face as he utters the words before leaning back.
You just sort of get up from your seat and half to exit the register booth. Grabbing one of those stupid shitty vape packs and tearing it open. And going outside of the mini mart. And smoking it harshly. Letting out a large cloud and coughing. This action brings you back and you spit up some more saliva. Before just sliding down the wall and sitting with your arms resting on your knees.
“.....what the fuck is going on. It's why all of this feels like a blur. Why can't I remember you at all? Why i cant remember SHIT from the last few fucking WEEKS? How long have we been repeating this?” you mutter to yourself. And suddenly you feel yourself being held. But it's cold. Not as warm as you’d like the contact to be.
That one touch is all you need to have retellings of scenes of doe breaking into your house, hovering over you with a knife, of him pleading desperately for you to stay for you not to leave again. Of him obsessing over you. It's all… to much.. It's alot much- it's
“...you?”
Whys your face wet.
Oh.
You come back too and .. you’ve just emptied the contents of your stomach all over the back of the gas station side wall. Great.
He stands there staring at you, a hand on your back looking at you with worry. And obsessiveness, but it doesnt feel as weird anymore
Your voice is scratchy when it comes. “....how long have we been in a timeloop.”
He stiffens. And looks down “about 8 weeks now, once the 10th happens it’ll start again”
“Why didnt you say anything?” you plead weakly. Still holding your stomach in wretched pain.
“It’ wouldve gone back to only one day.. I think” he mutters..
“Or maybe we arent stuck anymore at all… i cant… tell anymore really..” he sounds just about as weak as you right now.
“Can we go home.”
“Yeah. i think we should”.
you cant really remember anything
you sit in your booth at work. Staring at this… guy.. Whos staring back at you with a forced smile
like hes holding back from something
you really dont understand why, is he stalking you? Why you of all people, you dont even smell good today or even nice. Your too tired to be stalked let alone followed from home to work. Oh god hes coming in
“Hi sir! What can i do for you today?” god hes at the register..
“John doe. what s your name?” he says in quick succession. His smile growing wider and more…strange by the minute
“....you” you say with… begrudging complacency
Then you blank out.
Then your at home again. Sitting on your couch your shitty TV blaring static as someone holds onto you.
“Why do you keep forgetting me” it mumbles over and over again.
The voice is familiar. But you cant pin point it. And your too scared to look behind you. The nails of the one holding you digging into your arm
“I dont know.” you say.
“Who are you again?”
Then you wake up. Again.
Then you shower, again. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over a nd over and over and over and
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and-
“STOP IT” you hear something crack in the distance. And you see glass on your bathroom floor. Flashes of something red and disgusting on your kitchen floor SPOILING your appetite your door being left open, your tv playing static as your blank out mindlessly someone coming up behind you.- then you hear your door open.
Snapping your head towards the sound, your hand bleeds.
Drip.
Drop
Drip..
DROP.
Bits and splatters of dark muted red cover your floor the metallic smell wafting into your nose as you pick up a shattered piece of mirror from your floor. It cuts into your hand.
You cant feel it right now. And honestly
You dont care.
How many times- HOW MANYFUCKING TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP RELIVING THIS GODDAMN DAY
You we’re FREE. FREE TO LEARN ABOUT THIS FUCKING GUY WHO KEEPS FOLLOWING YOU STALKING YOU BREAKING INTO YOUR HOME, LEARNING YOUR NAME YOUR HABITS YOUR EVERYTHING AND YOU HAVE TO START FROM SCRATCH AGAIN
“Over and over.. And over.. And OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AAAND
OVER AGAIN”
you mumble ascent mindedly to yourself. Trying to keep yourself HERE to not loose consciousness for ONCE
“You?”
You whip your head around to the living room. Clutching the glass in your hand. It cuts into you and you notice this time hissing at the pain.
Then you see him. And a feeling of fear- and ANGER and sadness, hurt, remorse, hope, love, all of it comes crashing into you and you stand and stare at him numbly. Your face contorted in anguish at the sight of him. Of…
doe
from what you remember
He stands there a smile on his face as he walks towards you quickly but stops in his tracks as he feels the prodding poking of the glass in your hand as he almost wraps his arms around you.
So then he stops. And places his bigger hands on your shoulder. Flashes of his past selves of him in the timeloop flash over his face blocking you from seeing how close he gets as he kneels to be eye level with you.
There are no words. There is no sound. All you can hear is your heartbeat in your ears as he engulfs you into an embrace. Holding you down onto the floor. The glass has shattered in your hand. And all he can think to do is to stop you from going farther into the valleys pull of unstable nature. Not that he would know it. Not that he wouldnt be taking this to his advantage. Not on purpose. Never on purpose.
He leans back eyes pale yellow eyes searching your face for any sort of fight for pure consciousness as he holds you down onto the floor breathing heavily. Panic setting into him. It's a feeling he doesnt recognize.
“Love?, love, love?.... Love… love love love love love please come on… dont. Dont go back we almost had it this time.” he sounds desperate
And you let out a breath you didnt know you where holding. And tears burst from your eyes, the pain in your hand now fully registering and you kick him off of you. Rolling over to cradle your hand. Screaming in pain. The anguish wracking your body from your outburst. And you cant handle it.
“WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING THIS WHOLE TIME. DOE YOU NEED TO- I CANT- MY HAND- FUCK- GOD… I”
You look at him with tears in your eyes. He looks just as panicked as you as he pulls you to the bathroom to grab first aid- everything and ANYTHING medical to clean your wounded hand. Trying hard not to relish in your pain, he finds you hauntingly beautiful. As you bleed. And he can barely focus without wanting to succumb and take you as his pain and all. As he cleans and picks out the glass, like he was taught to.. And begrudgingly covering up the beautiful red he witnesses coming from your veins. As he bandages it.. He stops short of your palm. Kissing the wounded hand. Blood getting smeared onto his face and lips. And you stop and stare. Face heating up in confusion and tension.
“What.. what are you doing?” your voice is shaky and he cant help but find it cute.
“I love you” he says.
“I love you”
“I love you”
“I love you”
You both can feel the tension
He feels his obsessions peeking through, his want for you to be his. And his only. And he cant stop it.
So he kisses more. Drinking a bit of the blood pooled into your hand before pulling back. Cleaning it once more, than wrapping it. Concealing the cuts from your previous outburst.
You feel a weird warmth in your chest and pooling in your stomach. You feel weird.
And he stares at you once more. Your blood stains his teeth and lips. Dripping from his mouth.
Then he smiles. And runs his hands up your arms. Then down your sides. As you stare. Flush growing on your face.
“Whyd you drink my blood…”
“Tastes good.. Reminds me that your human and im….not”
“....oh”
He leans in.. his forehead leaning against yours. Hands have snaked under your blood soaked shirt clammy luke warm clawed hands resting against your skin rubbing comfortingly. As his pupils dilate hearts in his eyes as he stares.
“U-..uhm”
“I love you”
“I know”
“I love you..”
“I…i know”
“I love you.”
“........”
“I love you”
“...i love you too”
He grows ecstatic inhaling sharply as he topples you over your head hitting the ground as he kisses you. Starting off harshly before lowering his ferocity immensely. Kissing you gently.. And softly. His and your breath are getting heated. He pulls back just to go back in. sneaking his tongue in, letting you taste your own metallic blood as he intertwines your tongues passionately. Pulling away with a hazy look in his eyes. Before they widen.
Then your alarm clock goes off.
You wake up. And you cant remember what happened.
Your hand has a feeling of pain.
And he waits for you at the bus stop. The taste of your blood still on his tongue.
.
When are you going to get out of here.