Chapter Text
early November 1891
Sebastian watches as her quill flies over pages, scribbling maniacally in a way that cannot possibly be legible. He can’t check if it is though because Elsie is sitting on the opposite end of the table, away from him. One would think they weren’t in a study session together; they were sat so far apart. It’s been like this for the past week. Sebastian didn’t know there was a way to avoid someone while technically, physically, being with them at the same time. Elsie was remarkably good at it.
Perhaps the teasing the other day at Gladrags was too much. Or too brazen. Elsie’s eyes were glued to the textbook as her quill kept going at the parchment, trying to reach the forty inches that Professor Ronen had requested. He didn’t peg Elsie as the conversative type though. She liked having her fringe and pieces of her hair falling by the sides of her face, instead of pulled neatly back. She enjoyed a slightly higher heel in her shoes, which Anne would have called salacious if she ever saw them. She also liked wearing pants, even when she has no plans to fly, whilst most girls wore skirts, though Sebastian isn’t sure if that was for practicality’s sake. Sebastian props his chin up on his hand and waves his wand at the piece of parchment next to him. It sparks into flames, and before it can burn at the edges, he freezes it over. He tries to melt the ice with the smallest flame at the tip of his wand, watching it drip away slowly without catching the parchment on fire again.
“Well done.” Sebastian looks up to see Elsie watching him. “I wish I had a charms practical instead of this essay,” she says, sighing. She goes over the completed portions of the parchment, rolling it up carefully , and by Sebastian’s guess she has at least another ten inches to go. “I could help you, if you weren’t sitting so far away,” Sebastian tries and Elsie’s face falls. “I’m alright.” Sebastian runs a hand through his hair, growling under his breath.
“Did someone throw stink pellets at me or something?” Sebastian says and Elsie blinks. “What? No, you smell fine,” she says, nose crinkling. “Well, you keep avoiding me,” Sebastian says and her eyes dart away from his. “I’m not,” she says as she flips a page in the textbook she was referring to. “I’m right here.” Sebastian gestures at the entire table between them. “You’re sat across the entire table when there’s a chair right here. You went to sit next to Amit Thakkar in Charms instead of me earlier.”
“I am allowed to have other friends,” Elsie says, finger tracing a line in the textbook and Sebastian can’t help the aggravation that passes through him. “I know,” he says, and she must sense his irritation because she looks back up from her book. Sebastian gathers his books and his soggy parchment, and the chair screeches against the floor as he gets up. He walks straight to Elsie, and watches as she leans back before he’s even within an arm’s reach. He stops in his tracks. “See,” Sebastian says. Elsie just stares at him in silence. Sebastian shakes his head and leaves.
***
“Where is Elsie?” Ominis asks. Sebastian doesn’t stop buttering his bread roll. “Sitting with Leander Prewett, of all people.” Ominis frowns. “Oh. Unfortunate choice.” To be more exact, she was sitting with Leander, Natty and Gareth, but Leander is the only one that Sebastian has a problem with. The Gryffindor was prone to boastfulness that often he could not back up, and Ominis caught him gossiping to others about Sebastian being a show-off and a cheat. Sebastian reckons he’s just angry that he’s never bested Sebastian in a duel.
Sebastian sneaks a glance across the hall to the Gryffindor table where Elsie was sat for dinner tonight. She’s laughing about something Leander was describing to her, shoving at Leander’s shoulder in apparent disbelief. Sebastian looks back down at his dinner plate, and finds he’s lost his appetite.
***
“What’s going on?” Ominis asks, and Sebastian hums, poking at his chicken mindlessly. He’s slumped on one elbow over the Great Hall dining table, head propped up in his hand. Elsie looks at him from where she was sat next to Ominis. “What do you mean?” she says. Ominis waves his butter knife in Sebastian’s general direction. “Why is he sulking?”
“Not sulking,” Sebastian says. He ignores the way Elsie’s eyes flicker over him again, and then back at Ominis. Sebastian is sick of thinking. He didn’t even get any sleep last night. He’s gone over a million things he could have done, and he thought Elsie had accepted his apology, but it doesn’t feel like it. She’s avoiding him, or at least skirting around the edges of him. It feels as awful as when Anne stopped speaking to him for a whole week out of spite when he borrowed, okay, stole her broom.
“Cheer up, Sebastian,” Ominis says. “It’s the weekend, your favourite time of the week.” Ominis isn’t wrong. Usually, Sebastian would be raring to go to Hogsmeade, or more recently, waiting for Elsie to invite him out on another adventure doing Merlin knows what. He can’t help but feel like there will be no invite this weekend. “Hello?” Ominis says, tapping Sebastian on the arm. Sebastian decides to abandon his lunch in favour of avoiding this scrutiny. “I’m going back to the common room to read,” Sebastian mutters as he makes to stand. He glances at Elsie who was avoiding his eyes. “Have a good evening, Els,” he says, and her eyes snap to his in surprise. Sebastian looks away. “Ominis,” he says and Ominis waves him off.
***
“Anne,” Sebastian says, reaching out to touch her cheek even though he knows he shouldn’t. Sebastian can only watch as Anne’s gentle face melts away, leaving a skull in its place. Sebastian tries to draw his hand back, but the bared teeth clamp down on his fingers. “No,” Sebastian says, yanking at his own arm. The pain only grows, and Sebastian watches as his own skin starts to turn black and rot and- “Sebastian?”
Sebastian gasps, jerking upright. His chest is heaving erratically, and Sebastian can feel that the back of his shirt was soaked through again. The fireplace next to him reminds him that he was on the couch in the common room, and the book he had been reading all evening had dropped onto the floor from his lap in his sleep. He must have fallen asleep when he took a break from reading.
“Sebastian?” Sebastian realises Elsie was crouched in front of him by the sofa that he had fallen asleep on, her hand resting on his knee. She must have just come back from one of her late-night errands again. “Oh,” Sebastian breathes. He still can’t catch his breath, and he buries his face in his hands. His skin was clammy against his hands. “Sorry, I just- I need a moment.”
“Alright,” she says quietly. She doesn’t move. Sebastian can still feel the pads of her fingers through his pants, lightly pressing into the hard curve of his kneecap. Sebastian tries to take steady breaths, counting to thirty by the time he finds his composure. He looks up sheepishly. Elsie takes her hand away when she realises that he’s calmed down.
“Sorry,” Sebastian says. He swings his feet back down to the floor, leaning over his knees and ruffling his sweat-damp hair. “I must have fallen asleep.” Her cloak rustles as she moves to sit down by his feet on the floor, facing of him. Close enough that he could reach out with his hand and touch the tip of her nose. “You were having a nightmare,” she says. “I was,” Sebastian says. “You sounded scared,” she says. Sebastian huffs as he pushes his hair back from his face. “Nightmares work like that if I’m not mistaken.”
Elsie’s face tells him his bravado wasn’t working on her. He changes tack. “Not avoiding me anymore?” he says, gesturing between them. “I wasn’t avoiding you.” Sebastian gives her a pointed look and her shoulders sink as she sighs. “I was just feeling a bit awkward,” Elsie says and Sebastian frowns. “You weren’t still mad at me for the Gladrags thing?”
“What? No!” Elsie says. She winces when she hears how loudly she spoke, before speaking again in a lower tone. “No. It is somewhat related though.” Sebastian bites back a smile, his horrible mood from earlier fading away rapidly. “So, it’s just because you saw me in my undershirt?”
“Undervest,” she corrects shyly. “I hadn’t- I’ve only seen farmers- I haven’t really seen anyone I actually know like that before.” Sebastian grins. “All you saw were my arms,” he teases, pretending that he wasn’t slightly embarrassed himself that day, and she covers her face with her hands. “Elsie Fernsby, you are a prude!” Sebastian says. “I’m not a prude!” she says, looking up with her lips pouting in defiance.
Her lips were a bit chapped tonight, probably wind-burnt from flying in high winds on the broom. She licks her lips, as if she can tell Sebastian’s noticed. Sebastian wonders what it would be like to take her bottom lip between his teeth and nibble on the very same spot she likes to chew. The idea of it is so rogue that he surprises himself. “Well,” Sebastian says, as he forces his eyes back up to meet hers. To his surprise, her eyes have to play catch up, looking back up to meet his. “Neither am I.” She parts her lips ever so slightly as she takes a breath, and he has to lean back, breaking the spell that seems to have overcome them both. “Alright then,” Sebastian says, wondering if his mind was just hazy from poor sleep. “I expect to see you sitting next to me at breakfast tomorrow.”
“I can’t sit next with Poppy?” Elsie asks, and Sebastian can only be glad she didn’t say Leander. Sebastian feels like being honest. “I like having you around, remember?” The light is just a little bit too dim for Sebastian to see if she’s blushing, but judging by the way she ducks her head, just the knowledge that she definitely is blushing, is enough.
***
“Morning, Ominis,” Sebastian says as he slides onto the bench next to him. “I see you are feeling better today,” Ominis says, and Sebastian chooses to ignore his snarky tone. He reaches for the bowl of plums, taking a knife to split them and destone them. “A plum for you?” Sebastian offers, and Ominis holds a palm out. Sebastian lays two halves down into his palm. “Thank you,” Ominis says primly.
The bench creaks next to Sebastian, and Sebastian turns to his left to see a yawning Elsie. “Had a late night?” he asks casually, and Elsie shoots him a look. “You wouldn’t believe it,” Elsie says sardonically, but she smiles after. “Plum?” Sebastian says, and she wrinkles her nose. “Now, don’t be a child,” Sebastian says as he drops one half of a plum onto the plate in front of her. “I was right about the apples, wasn’t I? It’s the perfect season for plums right now.”
Elsie looks at the plum like it was about to unleash a boggart on her. Sebastian rolls his eyes, and then picks up the plum back up from her plate. “Look.” He takes a small bite of it. It’s juicy and jammy sweet, just as he expected. He sighs at the taste of it. “Delicious,” he says, offering it back to Elsie. She takes it gingerly, and Sebastian watches as she takes a nibble. Her eyes light up as she chews slowly, and Sebastian chuckles. “Good?” She nods and takes another bite. “Stick with me, Els, and I’ll show you only the good stuff,” Sebastian says, and she rolls her eyes at him, even as she finishes her plum.
“You make me ill,” Ominis says, and Sebastian squints at him as he reaches for a cup of tea. “I’m sorry, Ominis, is it so bad that I’m trying to show this poor London girl the delicious world of fresh fruit?” Ominis snorts as he grabs Sebastian’s shoulder and leans in to whisper into Sebastian’s ear. “Are you sure that’s the only thing you’re trying to show her?” Sebastian chokes on his tea, and Ominis’ smirk makes Sebastian want to kick his ankles in. “Don’t be stupid,” Sebastian says, coughing. He glances at Elsie, who gives him a concerned look. “Please, Sebastian. I know you like the back of my hand,” Ominis says. “Or are you telling me you’ve never thought about it?” Ominis could have slapped him, and Sebastian would be less shocked. “You’re joking,” Sebastian says flatly, and Ominis chuckles. “I was, but your reaction told me all I needed to know.” Sebastian blinks, realising he’s been tricked.
“What’s going on?” Elsie says, and Ominis leans past Sebastian to face her. “I was just telling Sebastian that I might need to go on a quick trip to Gringotts.” Elsie takes a bite out of her toast. “Ooh, what for?”
“Since seventeen is the age of majority, it means this year I get to open my own vault. I intend to separate my inheritance from the rest of the family’s fortunes, for obvious reasons,” Ominis says as he stands. “I need to write to my parents about this issue. Perhaps I will see you two later.” Sebastian watches as Ominis walks away and wonders when his best friend got so good at lying out of his arse. He helped Ominis write and send that letter last week.
***
He finds Ominis in the Undercroft. “Hello, Sebastian,” Ominis says from where he was sat on the floor, a stack of books by his side. Sebastian joins him, leaning against one of the pillars. “Finished writing that letter?” Sebastian asks. “Come here to sulk?” Ominis shoots back. Sebastian’s smile drops. “Whose broomstick is up your arse?” Sebastian says. “No one’s,” Ominis says. “Just baffled at you.” Sebastian gives his friend a bewildered stare. “I know you can’t see this, but I’m looking very confused right now.” Ominis heaves a sigh. “Where is Elsie?”
“Poppy wanted to show Elsie where she found a herd of hippogriffs and their foals somewhere in the forest.”
“Ah, how lovely,” Ominis says and Sebastian thinks he’s dreaming again. “When did you start caring about beasts?” Ominis clears his throat. “Well, they seem like very intelligent creatures, unlike you.” Sebastian considers flinging one of the books between them into Ominis’ face. “Alright, can you please explain this whole ‘Sebastian is an idiot’ thing before I lose my temper?” Ominis waves his wand, and a ripple passes through the air, forming a shimmering wall against the entrance of the Undercroft. Sebastian looks at the invisible wall. “Are you afraid of someone listening in?”
“It is for Elsie. And I don’t want her coming in here right now.” Sebastian can’t help himself. “Did you miss spending time with just me, Ominis?” Ominis pulls a face of disgust. “On the contrary, I’m glad I don’t have to see your mopey mug every hour of the day the way she has to,” Ominis says. “I do not have a-“ Sebastian pauses. “You can’t see my face anyway,” Sebastian says. “Sebastian!” Ominis snaps. “Are you being daft on purpose?” Sebastian can’t tell if he’s more annoyed or more confused by Ominis. “Maybe if you stop being so bloody vague, I can give you better answers!” Sebastian says. Ominis gets up, and he starts pacing. The Undercroft is the only spot in the castle that Ominis can freely walk around in without using his wand, the consistently flat stone floor and unchanging room making it easy for Ominis to trust that the space he has memorised in his head is still true. Ominis is muttering to himself though, and Sebastian knows better than to break Ominis out of his thoughts before he’s ready to speak.
Sebastian reaches over to grab one of the books that he was considering using as a weapon against Ominis. The first book he grabs was a History of Magic book, and Sebastian shoves it back into the pile. He’d rather go into a spider’s nesting cave than hear Professor Binn’s voice ever again. The second is a scholar’s paper on phoenixes, and this piques Sebastian’s interest. He glances at Ominis, intrigued by his friend’s sudden interest in magical creatures. He flips through the book, skimming over the intricate details of a phoenix’s colouring, its elusive behaviours, and nesting habits. The part that catches his attention, are the pages on a phoenix’s healing abilities. Sebastian finds an odd comfort in reading the familiar medical jargon that used to pervade his every thought outside of class. Perhaps it reminds Sebastian of the hope he felt as he spent two years scouring every book that mentions a medicinal cure or any sort of healing magic, hopeful that he would find something for his sister.
Ominis stops right in front of Sebastian. “Do you,” Ominis’ mouth opens, and then closes. Now Sebastian is really concerned. Sebastian has never seen his friend this uncertain. Sebastian takes a second to think of what could have his friend in such a state, and he suddenly connects the dots. “Ominis,” Sebastian says. “Do- do you have a crush?” Ominis’ shoulders tense. “What?” Ominis says and Sebastian doesn’t understand why Ominis is the confused one all of a sudden. “Elsie. You’ve been a bit grumpy whenever I’m with Elsie, she has a remarkable ability to convince you to do things that even I can’t convince you to do,” Sebastian starts. Ominis’ hands clench, and Sebastian thinks he’s on the right track. “You’re about to ask me something, and you don’t want Elsie to come in and hear wh-“
“Stop,” Ominis cuts him off. Sebastian stops. “Let me be clear, I do not care for Elsie.” Sebastian blinks. “That’s a bit harsh,” Sebastian says. “You know what I mean- Will you shut up for once?” Ominis hisses. Sebastian shuts up. “You are more of an idiot than I thought,” Ominis says, hand coming up to stroke his chin in thought. Sebastian keeps his mouth shut but he makes an indignant noise in his own defence. “I was going to ask if you were aware of your blaringly obvious affection for Elsie,” Ominis finally says, and Sebastian definitely wasn’t expecting that to come out of Ominis’ mouth.
“What?” Sebastian says and Ominis’ head cocks towards him in curiousity. “I do not see Elsie that way,” Sebastian says and Ominis scoffs. “You are joking,” Ominis says, but when Sebastian says nothing, he realises Sebastian is serious. “Sebastian, there is enough chemistry between the two of you to put Professor Sharp out of a job,” Ominis says. “Alright, that was poor,” Ominis admits as he sits back down in front of Sebastian. “Enough sparks to put Garreth Weasley out of a job?” Ominis tries again and Sebastian grimaces. “Please stop,” Sebastian says. “I do not know where you are getting this idea from.”
“You spend nearly every waking moment together, Sebastian, it’s natural-“ Sebastian shakes his head. “I did so with Anne!” Ominis sighs in exasperation. “She’s your sister. Elsie is a girl that is not your sister,” Ominis says with emphasis. “You’re truly telling me you haven’t thought about Elsie like that once?” Sebastian thinks of last night and the precarious line he danced on, and he licks his lips nervously. Ominis latches on to Sebastian’s hesitation. “I knew it!” Sebastian runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “We are teenagers, Ominis, just because I’ve thought about it means nothing. You hear how Herbert Warbeck talks about any girl that even looks at him,” Sebastian says and Ominis pulls a face at the thought of the overly amorous Ravenclaw. “I think you’re just confusing a very good friendship for whatever you think it is.”
“I am unconvinced, and you, are delusional,” Ominis says. Sebastian sighs. “She’s a good friend, Ominis. She was the only one that truly believed I could help Anne, and still stood by me when even you and Anne were questioning my actions. She stood by my side. I’m grateful for that,” Sebastian says, and he looks down at the book that was forgotten on his lap. He runs a thumb down the spine of the book. “And what if Elsie likes you?” Ominis says, pulling a laugh out of Sebastian. “I think between fighting goblins, handling me, dealing with poachers and an attack on Hogwarts that led to Professor Fig’s demise, she has little time for even thoughts of a romance,” Sebastian says. Sebastian holds the book up before Ominis can go on.
“So! When did you decide to become an expert on romance and magical creatures?” Sebastian asks with a grin and Ominis snatches the book out of his hands with surprising speed and accuracy. “I just wanted some fresh reading material,” Ominis says, as he places the book back with the rest of the stack. “And I’m no expert on love, I just think I know my best friend better than he does himself. Or anyone else, for that matter.” Sebastian huffs. “I’m grateful for you too, Ominis,” Sebastian says, and Ominis turns his head away. Sebastian looks around at the Undercroft that has housed them for so many years now. “I’m sorry that I showed this place to Elsie so easily,” Sebastian says, staring at the ancient magic triptych that hangs on the wall to their left. “I never apologised for that.”
“You chose well, at least,” Ominis says. Sebastian smiles. “I felt like I could trust her.” Ominis huffs, leaning back and propping himself up with his hands. Ominis closes his eyes, a small smile lingering on his lips as he takes in the quiet peace that the Undercroft provides to his sensitive ears. Ominis told Sebastian once that Hogwarts was sometimes painfully noisy, and the gloomy silence of the Gaunt home was too unsettling. The Undercroft was a sacred sanctuary for Ominis. He trusted Sebastian with it. “Why did you trust me?” Sebastian asks. Ominis shrugs. “I was surrounded by a lot of darkness,” Ominis says. His eyes remain closed, he doesn’t need them anyway. “And I felt like your heart was good.”
“Do you still believe so?” Sebastian asks quietly. Ominis is silent, like he doesn’t want to admit he doesn’t, and Sebastian can only bear it for so long. He opens his mouth to say something when Ominis speaks.
“I do. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” The words release a burden in Sebastian’s chest that he didn’t realise existed. “Only because I know how pervasive the Dark Arts can be,” Ominis says, his voice going cold. “I know how it can take advantage of a person’s desperation and consume them, just like how I was desperate for no more pain when I cast crucio for the first and last time.”
Ominis sighs, the menace in his voice melting away as quickly as it came .“I spent the summer reflecting over the events of last year. I was only a mere friend of Anne’s, and I was already afraid for her. I realised that your fear of losing her could only have been a thousand-fold of mine. The base of your motivations is a powerful love for Anne, which is more than I could say for myself. I just wish the end of your crusade was not- well.” Ominis does not continue but they both know what happened anyway. Sebastian still cannot find it within himself to mourn his uncle. It is not out of hatred or regret. Perhaps it is shame, but Sebastian has not allowed himself to inspect it too much. For Anne, he has kept Solomon’s grave clean, and asked Mr Ndiaye to replace the flowers on the stone for them when he can.
“Besides,” Ominis says, pulling Sebastian out of his thoughts. “Elsie swears that she knows you’ve stopped.” Sebastian looks up in surprise. “And you believe her?”
“She hasn’t broken a promise to me yet,” Ominis says. Sebastian knows Ominis does not mean to rub it in, but it still stings. “I truly have sworn an oath to you this time,” Sebastian says. “I intend to keep it.”
“Hm, Elsie says that too,” Ominis says. He shakes his head, chuckling again. “You are right. Why do I believe her words so easily?” Sebastian smiles at the sound of his friend’s laugh. It was hard to come by in the past years, no thanks to Anne’s mysterious curse and Sebastian’s stubborn pursuit of the Dark Arts. Ominis seems happier now that Sebastian seems to have accepted Anne’s ill-fate and sworn off the Dark Arts. But Sebastian's acceptance is one made out of despair because Sebastian has no other options left.