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Chapter Text

Away! Hissss!

Big sibling and parent held up their spears, with their mouths pulled into twisted snarls, little fangs just barely peeking out. Monk held the little sibling close while their other parent joined in to growl and spit at the reptile towering over them. The lizard hissed in kind, baring its maw of teeth, but Monk could already see that it knew it had lost. And so, it backed away into the pond, and swam to the other side. Big sibling tossed their spear at its tail when it fled, though they didn't need to. With the threat gone, the family could resume looking for food.

Monk's siblings were very different from one another. One was just a pup. The other was bigger than them. Their parents had made them, that's what made them siblings. When their parents grew old, then the siblings would scatter and make more slugcats. And then the siblings would grow old. And so, slugcats would disappear and slugcats would appear, and there would always be slugcats.

Big sibling had a leech on them. Monk grabbed sibling's tail to stop them in their tracks, and pushed them into a crouch. Sibling's muscles stretched beneath their pale skin, and they reached out a paw to push at Monk's face.

Why.

Leech. Let me.

Monk held the head of the leech where it was attached to sibling's back, and with a tug and a twist, pulled the writhing thing free and tossed it away. Sibling was getting up, but they pressed them back down, and licked the wound until it didn't bleed anymore. The sibling did get up, then, easily pushing Monk aside. Big sibling licked at Monk's cheek and bumped their snout against them.

Food was plentiful that cycle. Monk gathered and cracked nuts while big sibling and parents leaped up high for batflies. Little pup sibling was dozing off against them, but quickly perked up when Monk offered them a freshly opened nut. They gobbled it away in big bites. The others returned with their prey, and they all ate, sinking their teeth into the juicy flesh of the batflies. There was enough; so much, in fact, that next cycle would be a breeze.

The clouds were gathering up, so they began heading home, food heavy in their bellies. Home was safe. Home was up high enough to protect from rain. They would nuzzle in a pile there, all asleep, sometimes there would be more of them and sometimes less. Sometimes Monk would wake up when it was still raining and see big sibling looking into the rain. A parent would wake, and call for them to come sleep. Monk liked sleeping next to big sibling. They wondered if big sibling would rather go sleep next to some other slugcat. Whenever Monk went to look outside, the rain got in their eyes, so they often didn’t.

The rain was worse today. It was coming down heavy. They weren't at their home tree yet when it began pouring. The water sloshed violently, the siblings holding onto their parents as they climbed away from it. The rain hammered against them. Monk held onto their parent for dear life.

The sky came to life with a deafening spark.

They barely heard it over the rain, but big sibling screamed. The world spun as the parent carrying Monk on their shoulders turned around.

Downwards, where water was rising, was big sibling. Getting smaller. Their paws were outstretched but too far down to grab onto. Monk opened their mouth to shout. Water got in their mouth, and they retched.

Parent held their paws out until the other parent tugged at their tail. They climbed up. Big sibling disappeared into the darkness.

They made it to safety. Soggy from the rain, tails down, ears glued to their necks.

They just fell. I'm sorry. They're gone because of me.

No, no...

Where is sibling?

Monk stayed quiet.

Maybe some other cycle, Monk would have let the rain lull them to sleep. Dry off and doze away until their sorrow simmered and turned into determination to find their sibling again.

This cycle, Monk made up their mind far sooner, however.

They twisted themselves free of their parent's grasp and ran into the rain. The others shouted after them. They didn't turn around even when the rain hurt them and made their paws weak.

Sibling shouldn't be alone.

And so, while every one of their instincts screamed for them to return to safety, to survive to see the next cycle, to get away from danger, they jumped down to where sibling had been swallowed by the unknown.

And that was the first step.

Chapter Text

Survivor was blind and deaf. The water – because it must have been water – engulfed them, spun them, murky and bubbly and it was all so, so much, that there might have as well been nothing at all. It knocked the air out of their lungs, and after that, there was only the vague sensation of being thrown around by forces out of anyone’s control.

Then, there was soft pressure on all sides. Breathing that wasn’t theirs. Soft, slow heartbeat. The sounds of the rain and someone twitching their ear. The pull of sleep. It was time to go now, and when they would wake, the rain would be gone. It would be another cycle to hunt and to press against sibling and to protect family.

But when they woke up, it was not to the soft sounds of their family stirring from sleep. It was not to the littlest sibling bouncing on their back, eager to go outside. It was not to the warm snoring of the yellow sibling.

It was to the cold.

Survivor opened their eyes and looked around. Their ears were ringing – the thought they had surely died. But evidently, they had not. Their legs still pushed them up off the ground when they flexed them. Their tail came to rest against their side as they pulled it out of the freezing water. And the world came to sight, little by little, blurry and then sharper.

Rubble. Garbage. Odd colours of grass and odd textures of soil.

A spear. They dove for it, and they held it tight, whipping their head around. But there was nothing around, no one-

Something grabbed their tail.

In a frenzy, Survivor raised their spear and sunk it into the flesh of… Ah. Just a cicada. A very dead one, now. They had those at home, they sometimes used them to reach places higher than a slugcat could climb. But it wouldn’t be much use now that they had killed it, and so, they pulled the spear free and carried on.

Where was this? The cicada was familiar, but that was about it. They weren’t even sure which way they had come from. The rain must have carried them, but that could have taken them in any direction.

Their breathing got heavier. What about their family? What about their siblings? Had they fallen into the water, too? Their parents? All the other slugcats? And if they had, then why weren’t they around? This land was new – who knew what danger would lie ahead?

Something popped out of the ground. Survivor leaped backwards, brandishing their spear… But this thing was smaller than they were. They weren’t sure what it was. Some kind of worm? A worm with a big, gaping eye that was staring straight at them. Speaking in strange symbols. Gesturing them to follow.

They experimentally tossed their spear at the worm. It vanished into the ground. But just as Survivor began panicking again, unsure where to head, it reappeared on the other side of the clearing.

They did follow it this time, but only because it seemed as good an option as any.

The creature led them to a room full of batflies. Survivor’s stomach growled. Might as well eat, and then they could consider how to find their family.

But as they ate, the ground started shaking. The shaking promised storm. Storm promised water.

No!

They ran ahead, slipping through pipes and tunnels. Where could they go? Up. Safe from the rain. Safe from –

The creature from before appeared right in front of them, and gestured to a pipe on the wall.

The tunnel led to a small, enclosed space. There was some moss lining the bottom, softening the jagged edges of the cold metal floor. As they slipped in, the metal clattered and screeched, trapping them inside with bars of steel. They scratched at where the exit had been. It wouldn’t open. But…

They could hear the sounds of water faintly from the outside. They could feel sleep setting in.

They didn’t have to leave right now.

Right now was the time to hibernate.

They sunk back to sleep, their dreams littered with strange creatures and batflies and siblings and parents, warm, yellow and pale blue shapes. The images came with none of the warmth.

They woke up next cycle to find the strange little creature still there, waiting right outside the den. It cast symbols, and images, none of which made any sense to Survivor.

Not until the projection took on a familiar shape. It looked like them. It looked like family. They reached to touch it, but the creature went underground and reappeared a bit further away, gesturing them to follow.

It hadn’t lied to them yet.

And so, Survivor headed East.

Chapter Text

Monk shivered, shaking droplets of water from their skin.

It took a moment for them to remember where they were, and why there wasn't anyone else around. Just one way to fix that.

The gray and purple rubble stabbed into the pads of their paws as they ran. Surely, sibling can’t have been far? But the clearing was empty, aside for some batflies which Monk grabbed while running past. Maybe sibling hadn’t been there at all, for there were still batflies.

There was a tunnel on the left, and on the right, and on the ceiling.

Monk couldn’t begin to guess where sibling might have gone.

But they must be here.

They peeked through one of the tunnels, but it was a dead end.

They must.

They dragged themselves out of the tunnel backwards, and took a different path. It led to a room with another crossroads.

Otherwise…

They pushed through a tunnel to find open skies and jagged metal. And, several new ways to go. Still no sight of sibling.

They climbed some of the metal, dragging themselves up with their little paws, the steel cold against their pads. There was more way to go in every distance. Structures so far away that Monk could barely make them out. Some creatures. Danger, maybe. No sibling in sight. Shadows cast by clouds.

A spear, stuck to a wall.

Monk leaped off the pole, making their way to the object. They tried smelling it, but the scent of rain was overpowering. Had they really slept for that far into the cycle?

They looked closer. On the metal below the spear, there were little paw prints. Wet imprints disturbing the overlay of dark dust.

Sibling had been here. Recently.

Monk climbed into the nearest tunnel, their pads skidding on the metal. They called out to lost family like a pup in the fangs of a beast.

Sibling!

There was no response, their call echoing against the surrounding structures.

Making noise was bad. Making noise brought predators. Making noise made it so that predators knew where you were, before you could see or hear them. A slugcat couldn’t afford to be surprised.

Monk called again.

Sibling!

They tried looking for more paw prints, or more spears, but they didn’t want to stop running, either. There was the slightest smell of slugcat, of family, a speck of slime on a tunnel entrance. They followed it to a large room, a tall building looming over it that reminded them of a monster. They might have stopped to cower. But now wasn’t the time.

They ran ahead, looking at walls and the ground, searching for more spears or slime or paw prints or white ears peeking from behind the rubble. The scent was stronger now. But rain was coming soon. They had to find their sibling, now.

Sibli-

Snap.

Pain.

Their leap forward was cut short, as was their call. Their entire world was engulfed by mucus and by dull teeth pressing against them at all sides. They yelped, and the teeth pressed in stronger.

They tried moving their legs, but they could only wiggle their paws as the legs pressed against each other awkwardly, starting to go numb from the pressure.

But they weren’t still, oh no. They were very much moving, or rather, being moved. Every time the lizard thumped against the ground, Monk’s entire world shook, and the maw shut around them, pushing air out of their lungs before letting them breathe again.

They could still see. There was another one of these beasts, on the path of this one.

The other lizard hissed and charged, making Monk shut their eyes tight to shield themselves from the approaching teeth. The lizard holding them hissed in kind, and, for a heartbeat, Monk was free. They dropped to the ground, looking for something, anything to throw, anywhere to run –

But when the jaws of a green lizard snapped at them a second time, it all faded away. Concern for family and for sibling, of finding food and water, of making it to the next cycle. None of it could have been that important.

Chapter Text

Each cycle was a new shelter, new danger, new terrain, and new food. Survivor kept going despite all of it, refusing to spend more time than necessary in one place. They had to get back to their family. And yet, as they followed the little creature leading them, it seemed like the journey was never-ending.

The rain must have swept them far.

They found a new gate, and crossed to a region engulfed in shadow. The buildings reminded them of the outskirts of their home. Maybe they were close. Although, it had never been that dark back there, quite the opposite. There had never been this many critters skittering across the walls, ones that Survivor couldn’t quite see while looking straight at them, but they could still hear. They saw them from the corner of their eye. They held tighter to their spear.

Proceeding through the dark halls, they could feel little legs on their skin, running past them, over them. There were some, and then there were many. They thought they saw a bigger creature. They ran faster. They felt the wall next to them with their paw and almost fell as the floor under sloped upwards. Or maybe there was a pile of rubble there. Who knew. Survivor certainly didn’t. Their heart hammered in their chest as they ran faster, hearing the tap tap tap of countless little feet on the floor, like little whispers of the wind, only there was no wind down there.

They saw light up ahead. The outside, maybe?

But the light was moving. Survivor thought it might have been the eye of a big lizard, but getting closer, they could see that it was a lantern, carried by… something. Someone, rather. Survivor saw a spear glint in the light. They crouched down.

Please don’t kill me.

The creature raised its spear into the air, and Survivor now recognized what it was. They had them back home. It was a scavenger.

Survivor knew that this couldn’t possibly be one of the scavengers back home – unless they were that close to their home, already. But regardless, it was nice to see something familiar.

Parent had told them how to deal with scavengers. They were dangerous if provoked, but if you made yourself small and gave them a gift, they were benevolent. They hated the lizards, just like the slugcats did. They often had better weapons to fight them off. And so, they could made great allies. Survivor never liked them much. But they had their parents to help them fight back then.

Survivor carefully placed their spear on the ground.

See? I won’t fight you.

The scavenger’s eyes shone in the faint light. It grabbed the spear and tucked it behind its back, rummaging around in a little baggy it was carrying. It pulled out another lantern, and laid it on the ground before rushing past Survivor. They grabbed the shining object, and continued forth.

It was far easier to follow the yellow creature now that they could see ahead a little bit. Spiders scurried across the floor as they shone their light at them.

(Although the light was a blessing, Survivor thought they would have maybe rather not seen the state of the tiles they were stepping on. It was to be expected, with all these insects.)

The creature was perched on the other side of the room, gesturing them to climb upwards. They would have. They started to. But then, they… heard something. Or rather, felt. It didn’t sound or feel like spiders. It was more like howling wind, rather than the whispery sound of the spiders. But there was no wind, and it wasn’t spiders. So, what was it, then?

Survivor decided that they could afford to stray from their path for a little bit.

As they went, it felt like time was slowing down. They saw spiders twitching on the ground, as if paralyzed. They wouldn’t move out of the way, so Survivor stepped over them.

Maybe they should have turned around and followed the little creature instead. This seemed strange. Strange was often not good. If the wall had a patch that was a slightly different color, or that seemed to be breathing, they were meant to not go there. They were meant to tell their parents, or another slugcat.

None were around.

And they were curious.

They made their way to the surface, the sound getting louder, and the passage of time even slower. There were batflies on the ground, fluttering their wings weakly. Survivor took the opportunity to gobble them up, before heading towards the sound. It no longer sounded like the wind. They didn’t know what it could have been, then.

The air was unnaturally blue, though they still couldn’t see the sky from the dark. Up ahead, was a creature, a flying one. But it didn’t flap its wings. It didn’t make a hissing sound, either, like the vultures did. It simply was. Like it didn’t even try to stay afloat. Like maybe it didn’t make a difference for it, if it was on the ground or in the air.

It didn’t really look like anything at all. It looked like it didn’t belong there, its limbs waving in wind that still wasn’t there. The thing whispered. Survivor couldn’t understand. They could barely even hear.

And then, their vision went white as they got swept into vast nothingness.

Their body was feather-light. They could have ran forever, probably. They would never get tired, never need to hibernate. They didn’t think even rain could stop them. But they weren’t running, rather just floating, like the thing had been. Maybe they had become that thing.

For a moment, it was quiet.

Then, there were whispers, and this time Survivor understood. It was the voices of slugcats, tens, hundreds, thousands of them. All speaking over one another.

…the cycle…

...down…

…shaded citadel…

They thought maybe there were creatures other than slugcats, as well, though they had no idea how they could have possibly understood them. It was almost like they didn’t hear them, at all. More like their voices were in their head. And thus, they couldn’t shut their ears from them.

…bugs…

…the struggle…

…name…

It was nauseating. And yet, there was familiarity, like being pressed against family during rain.

…left behind sibling…

…where?...

…spiral that in turn forms a ring…

They dreamt of circles colliding, of lines moving in random patterns. They dreamt of following the creature.

…overseer…

…overseer…

…lost…

They saw themselves following the overseer, but it wasn’t really them. They met someone, someone who was not sibling. They had never seen someone like that before. And yet, they felt as though they had. Maybe some of these others had, if they weren’t them and if they weren’t imagining their voices.

…big sister…

…left behind sibling…

…monk…

They saw themselves sleeping next to that thing. They saw themselves bringing orbs from faraway lands. They saw themselves filling their stomach with the only food available to them.

Not once did they see their sibling there, or their family.

And though they looked, all they saw was rings. The rings spun over one another. They couldn’t make sense of any of it. They swam towards some of them. But they couldn’t breathe past a certain point. And so, they drowned.

And just like that, they were back in their shelter. The mechanism sealing them in was just opening.

It must have been a dream, then.

Their steps felt light as they followed the overseer across the citadel.

Chapter Text

It was all empty, for a moment. Monk wasn't sure why they had been so afraid. Monk wasn't sure if they were Monk, anymore. With how different they felt, or rather, with how they barely felt anything. It was like floating in empty space, or swimming, perhaps. But it wasn't lonely, or scary. There was presence, there. Like family. They no longer had to run, the franticness of the past cycle running off like water from leaves after the rain. Dissolving into a cold mist.

And then, everything came crashing back down. The pain and fear and hunger.

They woke up all by themselves.

It was a clearing with gray and purple rubble that dug into their skin. There were droplets of moisture on their nose.

They immediately reached for their neck. But there was no wound, no broken bones.

They felt a little shaky as they pushed themselves up and proceeded through the region. It was very similar to how it had been in their dream, all things considered. They already knew where to go to get back to where they had last been.

Only, there was no spear in the wall. No paw prints, no slime. No scent.

They supposed it had been too good to be true.

Their shoulders felt heavy.

They made it to where they had been heading in the dream, sneaking around the lizards, undetected. They emerged in a room with small centipedes and filled their stomach. But they still felt cold and tired. Maybe they were still hungry? But as they speared another centipede, they found that they couldn’t eat it. They took it with them, dragging themselves through another pipe and climbing upwards.

It seemed like another dead end at the top. Monk felt ready to try to sleep right there. They doubted any of those lizards could make the climb, anyways. It might have been high enough to provide safety from the rain.

Maybe they hadn’t slept that well with their nightmare. That must have been it, for strange thoughts began crossing their mind. Thoughts of the little snack they had brought with them. It was so cold now. Maybe they shouldn’t have speared it, despite it being food.

The metal grid under was uncomfortable. They shoved the lifeless bug under their head, and began drifting off.

There was a screech.

Monk leaped up, back curved and ears against their neck. Their heart was pounding out of their chest as they scanned the room for any predators. But it wasn’t an animal that made those sounds. It was a mechanical wall, shutting them in.

And then, water.

No, no, no!

Monk covered their eyes as the water fell down, as it hissed like the lizards did, as the metal moved once more. Their legs and heart screamed for them to run. But there was nowhere to go.

They knew what death felt like. They didn’t know how they knew, but they knew they didn’t want it.

The noises stopped. Monk dared to look.

There was a way to the other side, now.

Monk didn’t wait a single moment, taking their prey and going for the tunnel.

This new area had more climbing, even more metal. Awful birds falling from the skies when you least expected it. Neither machines nor animals, though Monk supposed it didn’t matter, for they were a threat either way.

And, unfortunately, this place was swarming with lizards.

Monk hid beneath a panel while they waited for a small lizard with pale blue frills along its tail to pass by. They had these kinds of lizards back home, as well, though those rarely dared to approach their family. Big sibling was always quick to scare them away. Back then, Monk had felt a little sad for the reptiles. Big sibling had said that Monk was stupid. To never go near a lizard, or else they would gobble monk up like they were no bigger than a batfly. Right now, they thought they understood why sibling and parents had been so quick to chase the lizards away. They would have done anything to avoid being caught in its jaws.

Right as they thought it might be safe to pass, two more lizards emerged into the room, these ones pink in hue. They hissed at the blue lizard, baring their teeth. The much smaller lizard cowered against a wall, making a low growling sound. The other lizards evidently didn’t like that, because one of them charged the blue lizard, closing its jaws around its throat. Monk held tight to their centipede as the small lizard writhed in the pink one’s grasp, before twisting itself free and fleeing through a tunnel.

As the pink lizards departed, seemingly satisfied, Monk rushed to the other side of the room. The coast was clear. It might not be for long.

The centipede was heavy, dragging against the floor, getting stuck in pipes.

Monk paused. What were they doing? It made little sense to be bringing the centipede with them. There was fruit everywhere.

(They supposed it felt nice to have something to clutch onto, when things got scary, which was a lot of the time.)

They thought back to the blue lizard. How it was obviously weaker than the other lizards. How it had no choice but to run for its life as bigger and stronger beasts did as they pleased.

Monk looked back to the tunnel the blue lizard had fled through.

Maybe bringing the centipede with them made no sense.

This sure doesn’t.

They went back through the tunnel.

Soon enough, they found the same blue lizard with the frilly tail, the marks from being grabbed still visible on its throat. Upon noticing the yellow slugcat, it opened its jaws in a warning. Monk felt like running away. But instead, they placed the centipede on the ground in front of them.

The lizard paused for a moment, before extending a long tongue straight towards Monk. The slugcat jumped back, but the tongue wrapped around the little centipede instead of them, pulling it to the lizard’s waiting mouth. The lizard made a warbling sound and shook the centipede around, before retreating to a little tunnel in the ceiling.

Monk's ears perked up.

It didn’t eat me!

They were just beginning to leave, when the lizard reappeared, heading straight for them.

Monk had no weapon. Not even a pebble to throw, and certainly not another centipede to distract the lizard with. Their eyes darted to the only exit, but the lizard was blocking it.

Monk raised their paws in front of their face, shutting their eyes.

Sibling was always good at fighting these things off. Sibling knew better. They should have remembered, they should have-

But instead of feeling the lizard’s jaws close around them, Monk felt pressure against their paw pads. They opened their eyes just a crack. The lizard had stuck its snout between their paws, its mouth closed tight while it looked at them expectantly with big, shiny eyes. They stared back.

I… I don’t have any more centipedes.

Monk didn’t think it understood.

They tried shoving at the lizard, half-expecting its jaws to open and swallow them whole. But the lizard just pressed tighter against their paws.

Monk remembered how they would sometimes hold their big sibling’s face just like this, to their annoyance. It was a weird thing to remember. This lizard looked nothing like their sibling.

But, regardless, Monk felt their shoulders relaxing. They carefully pecked their nose against the lizard’s snout. It made that warbling sound again, its mouth sealing its teeth where they couldn’t reach Monk’s soft flesh.

Will you help me find my sibling?

There was no way it knew what Monk was saying. But it pressed against Monk’s paws regardless, swinging its tail with contentment.

It was confirmation enough.

They weren’t alone anymore.

Chapter Text

Survivor had a feeling that traversing the citadel should have been harder. Scarier.

They came across a scavenger with a lantern, which felt oddly familiar. Perhaps the scavenger would let them have one, if they were nice to it. But did they need one? The overseer was casting a little bit of light onto the stone floor, and that was enough for Survivor. A lantern might have been nice. It might have even been nice to trade, to connect with something else living.

But did they need it?

They already knew which way to go, it seemed.

It was strange.

They followed the overseer across a bridge. Glancing upwards, they saw a massive structure, shrouding the entire area in shadows. Survivor had seen trees before. They had thought, back then, that there could be nothing bigger than trees. Evidently, they had been wrong.

Trees brought comfort. A gentle giant that meant food and safety from the rain.

No, this structure was nothing like a tree.

In the faint light, the stone walls and floors and pillars of this place were similar to those of their home. Similar, but distinctly not the same, if you looked close. Survivor hadn’t had time to inspect the specific lines and pictures in the tiles in their dream, too busy finding the way through the spider-infested halls. Too busy surviving.

Their thoughts wandered.

Another room. This one was familiar, too, but not. In their dream, this was where the air had turned thick and where time had slowed. There was none of that this time around. Everything else, however, was the same – they remembered it all, clear as day.

They remembered what that… entity had said, in its many voices. Or maybe it hadn’t been that thing talking at all. They remembered some of the words. None of it had made any sense.

The overseer popped right in front of them, waving its appendages around. Ah. They had stopped walking.

If they were to continue to the next room, the way the overseer was leading them, then they would no longer know where they were going. They would have to trust the overseer to lead them, like they had done thus far.

Did they?

It was gesturing at them. Flashing images of their kin. Of the symbol they had grown to associate with shelter, with safety. Of food. It wanted them to follow, that much was clear.

You’re lying, aren’t you.

The overseer gestured for them to follow, once more.

You’re not leading me to my family.

The overseer started broadcasting scenery, grainy holograms of lands unknown. Water. The ocean? Garbage. Vulture. Scavenger. And, in passing, a blue figure. Survivor had seen it before. Survivor had seen it and survivor had seen that it was at the edge of the world, where they were going, right now.

You’re leading me to your family. You’re a liar.

Survivor turned the opposite way, and began to run through the shaded halls, grabbing a spear as they headed towards the vast unknown.

From the corner of their eye, they saw others. Golden shapes like mist in the air, swimming as though in water, heading the same way as them. Leading them.

The overseer popped out of the ground in their path. Survivor ignored it, running past it. It wasn’t deterred that easily, it seemed, for it did it again. And then, again, casting promises of family.

Survivor bared their teeth at it in warning.

It still did it again.

Survivor tossed their spear across the room at where the overseer was poking out the ground. It vanished from sight, the spear bouncing off the with a sharp clink.

They waited.

This time, it didn’t return.

Good riddance. Liar.

With the overseer gone, the whole room was engulfed in darkness. They heard the spiders, rather than seeing them. And then, they felt them tugging at their ankles.

Survivor ran ahead, following the golden shapes of their kin as they went. They slipped on a spider, landing on their stomach, feeling their little legs skittering across their snout as they leaped back up, trying to shake them off. They ran into a wall. Their paws skidded on the tiles as they corrected their course.

They just needed to get back to where they came from. That’s where these phantoms were headed, too, right? The overseer had led them the wrong way, so they should go the opposite way. As long as they followed them, no harm would come to them.

There were five shapes in the next room, all heading forwards. Survivor felt sharp pain in their heels as a spider sunk its teeth in. More skittering. There was no dodging them, they were everywhere. The ground disappeared from under Survivor. They pushed themselves up as quickly as they could, but more spider stuck to their skin.

A wall, in front of them. They felt it with their paws, trying to find a way ahead.

Please, show me where to go!

The golden shapes went straight through the tiles.

Survivor was left scratching at the wall as the spiders crawled over them, engulfing them, biting at their skin until they couldn’t move anymore, until the whole world was legs and fangs and little hairy bodies.

Chapter Text

Monk was roused awake by the shelter opening. They thought they might have been dreaming about their big sibling… What had happened in that dream? Hazy images of their sibling running towards them blinked in and out, until they were drowned out by Monk’s growing awareness of their surroundings.

They were rising and falling, they realized. Pawing at the floor below, they found that it wasn’t floor at all. Their pads brushed against scales shielding muscle below. If they felt carefully, there was a rushing of blood and the slow beat of another creature’s heart.

The blue lizard smelled different when it was asleep.

Monk tapped at the lizard carefully, nuzzling their nose against it.

Hi. Wake up.

The lizard stirred and shifted from underneath. Monk plopped onto the floor of the shelter as it climbed to the wall and then the ceiling, staring down at Monk with its shiny eyes.

Lizard eyes were strange up close. They were dark much like a slugcat’s, but in the center, there was a white cross shape, each line ending in a circle. The eyes were far apart, yet managed to point directly at Monk all the same. Thin membranes came to cover the eyes from the sides as the lizard blinked.

Looking their friend straight in the eyes, Monk felt their heart speed up. They felt exposed, as though they should run while they could. Their instincts screamed at them.

And yet, Monk supposed that if the lizard had wished to eat them, it could have well done so while Monk was asleep and vulnerable.

They wondered if lizards thought that slugcat eyes looked weird, too.

Emerging from their shelter, Monk set off to search for their sibling, with the lizard following close behind. Unfortunately, there were no obvious signs of their kin anywhere near. And so, they decided they might as well look for food, in the meantime.

Monk found a spear and hurled it at a popcorn plant, which opened with a loud pop-pop-pop. They leaped up to it and picked off enough seeds to fill their belly, and then some. They pushed some to the blue lizard’s mouth.

Here. It’s popcorn.

Its mouth remained tightly shut. Maybe lizards didn’t eat popcorn. Monk shoved the kernel into their own mouth, instead. What did lizards eat, then?

Monk continued their trek through these strange lands. There were no grand trees now, not even in the distance. Just tall buildings and strange plants, and tunnels crawling with centipedes.

As the two arrived in the lattermost, the lizard made a warbling sound, pushing past Monk, which was no easy feat in the tight tunnel. Ah. It wanted centipedes, of course.

The lizard closed its jaws around a little larva with a loud snap. Monk glanced backwards in the tunnel to make sure that hadn’t alerted any of the larger centipedes, but evidently, it hadn’t.

Suddenly, the lizard convulsed as the little centipede twisted around itself to deliver an electric shock. The centipede squirmed free as the lizard shook.

Their parents had told them, to be careful with centipedes. To always spear them before touching them. The lizard couldn’t do that. It only had its sharp teeth to kill, it had to get close.

Monk hurried to the lizard’s side, holding onto it with their paws to try to get it to stop convulsing. It did, eventually, its eyes pressed shut. Monk nudged at it, then shoved it. The lizard barely moved at all, even when they gave it their best effort.

And then, as if nothing had happened at all, the lizard opened its eyes and snarled. Monk scooted back, instinctively, but the lizard was heading for the escapee centipede.

Wait.

Monk squeezed past the lizard, grabbing a spear that was conveniently sticking from the ground. The centipede crawled away, but not quite fast enough – one quick toss from Monk, and it was impaled. They unstuck the spear from the little body, before turning to hand the meal to the lizard. The lizard took it, warbling happily as it shook the centipede around.

With both their bellies full, Monk and the lizard headed upwards. Monk was mostly able to evade other lizards, moving ahead quickly, as they found that them and the blue lizard were usually much faster than the other creatures around were. The blue lizard’s toe pads stuck to the walls like nothing. Monk wondered how it did that. They would have traded quite a few popcorn plants to be able to do the same.

It felt like Monk should have reached the skies by now, for how long they had been travelling upwards. And yet, they arrived in a room with poles sticking seemingly all the way up. Monk sighed. But, going up seemed like a good idea. You could see really far from up. It was their best chance at locating their lost sibling.

As the two climbed, Monk spotted a small lizard with blue frills on the far wall. It looked kind of like their friend, although its frills were much sharper than their friend’s round ones.

Monk hesitated.

Is that your kin?

The lizard suddenly started charging straight towards Monk, hissing as it went. Monk tried climbing faster, but the new lizard wasn’t even bothering with the pole, its feet sticking to the tile walls.

Right as Monk thought the lizard would reach them, their friend growled and snapped its jaws at the other lizard. The lizard lost its grip on the wall, falling downwards as Monk and their friend hurried upwards. Their friend turned to look down to give one last hiss before following Monk into a pipe.

Monk took a moment to sit on the floor, looking the blue lizard up and down. How odd it was, that it would choose Monk over its own kind, after just a few centipedes.

Then again, Monk had never seen the lizards act very friendly towards one another. Perhaps they preferred not to be friends.

The blue lizard nudged at Monk with its snout. Monk smelled the air. Rain was coming soon.

Okay. I’m ready to go.

They made it to an area with open skies. It made Monk nervous; open skies meant predators. But it might have also meant finding sibling.

Just as they arrived, the ground began to shake with upcoming rain, heavy droplets falling down. In a split-second decision, Monk dove into a small crevice in the wall, finding some kind of a den with grubs inside. The lizard followed close behind as they spotted a suitable shelter, squeezing inside just as the sounds of the rain started to get overwhelming.

Inside the shelter, those sounds were muffled. The blue lizard arrived right after them, curling around Monk to fit into the small space. Monk’s heart started to slow down as the mechanism began sealing them in. It was safe here.

Their breathing got deeper as they felt the lizard beside them settle into sleep. They nuzzled into its side. The lizard was big. It was strong, it was their friend and they would help each other. The lizard could protect them. In that sense, it was like their lost sibling.

It had been a few cycles since Monk had last seen any sign of big sibling.

But, they would find them.

As they sunk into sleep, they dreamt of their sibling once more. Monk couldn’t quite see them through the fog. But there was a presence. And it was close.

Monk would find them. Soon.

Chapter Text

Survivor felt like when they had been swept away by the rain. It took them somewhere far away from their kin. They wanted to swim back, but the current was too strong.

But it was different, this time. For while their kin back with the trees and the leeches and the birds and the fruit and the towers were further away, something was suddenly closer. They couldn’t quite understand it. But they thought they could see their yellow round sibling behind a thin mist rather than a thick fog.

They felt close. Why were they close?

And if the rest of their family wasn’t there with them, then why was that? Why was Survivor’s sibling alone?

They ran towards the vague shape of their sibling, but as they approached, their steps slowed, and their ears were filled with noise, getting ever louder until their vision became all white.

And they woke up in their den in the citadel, as if they had never left at all.

They stretched their paws. That had all been real, hadn’t it? The darkness and the spiders. Did this mean they couldn’t die? Were they immortal?

The moss underneath them, they could remember. As they poked their head out of the shelter, it was all the same as before. Only, the overseer was no longer there.

So it had been real, then.

In some ways, it was a relief. If they couldn’t die then it meant that they had time. They would find their family, eventually, no matter what happened.

In other ways, Survivor was filled with dread. They had still felt the spiders. They thought that maybe they had felt similar things before, as well. How many times had they died? How many times had their family died alongside with them?

They shook their head. That wasn’t important now. They needed to look for their sibling again.

It was easier finding their way through the citadel now that they had already charted the route, and knew where there were spiders and which places to avoid. There were brightly lit rodents running across the walls, lighting the way if Survivor could keep up with them.

(They were also helpful for distracting the spiders. Survivor tried to close their ears from their pathetic little squeaks as they succumbed to the mass of insects.)

Suddenly, Survivor bumped into something. They thought it was a spider, but though they could feel something like little legs, it was far more solid, far more…

It growled and opened its jaws.

In a frenzy, Survivor threw a rock at it, and then a spear. They must have hit home, for the creature hissed and snapped its jaws, giving Survivor ample time to leap past it and run, their heart beating in their throat. They had never seen a lizard like that before.

With their legs carrying them almost on their own, away from the lizard, the landscape began to lighten. A little more climbing and they found themselves back at the gate they had come into this area through.

All things considered, they didn’t even know if this was the right way to go. They kept their eyes peeled for their sibling, but their dreams had never shown where they were, exactly. They supposed this way was as good as any, for the only thing they knew was that their sibling would not be where the overseer had been leading them.

Getting lost in your thoughts was dangerous, around here. Survivor barely noticed as the shadow of a vulture appeared on the ground.

And so, they were sent running for their life, once more, only narrowly escaping from the bird’s hungry beak. They kept running even when they were sure they had long since lost their pursuer.

Something caught their eye.

A popcorn plant. Freshly popped, for the seeds hadn’t yet been swept away by the rain.

Survivor looked around. They supposed a scavenger could have done this, but they didn’t think anything other than slugcats ate popcorn plants. They would have had to spear it by accident. And Survivor didn’t see any scavengers around here, either.

Next to them, was a tall tower. They gazed upwards.

Surely not…?

Chapter Text

Monk and the lizard awoke to a nest full of grubs. Where they had come from, Monk wasn’t sure, but they happily gobbled them up nonetheless.

The air smelled of wind and of danger. Monk wasn’t sure how well the lizards could smell, but judging by how the blue lizard was glancing around as the two ran away from the open skies, Monk thought it understood.

At first, there was nothing except for chimneys reaching for the heavens, unfortunately with no way to climb them that Monk could think of. They supposed that the lizard might have been able to scale them. But it stuck to their side.

Then, there were noises.

Alarming ones.

Monk dove into a pipe, making sure that the lizard was following behind.

Peeking out, they couldn’t quite see what was making the noise, yet. But they could hear lizards growling, and… A spear clanking against a lizard’s head, they thought.

Scavengers. Stay there.

The lizard made a warbling noise, but didn’t move to push past Monk.

Monk could see a pink lizard emerge onto the scaffolding up above. They quickly tucked their head into the tunnel. Maybe it would pass them by.

There was a hiss, and… Monk thought it was the sound of a spear sinking into the lizard’s flesh. And then silence. They dared to look back out.

The pink lizard was dead, with a spear sticking from it. Monk scanned the area, but they saw no scavenger. Nothing at all, in fact. Not until they turned to look towards the chimney behind them.

It looked nothing like a scavenger. All they could spot before the creature slipped into a tunnel was the white tip of a thick, muscular tail.

Monk’s heart leaped into their throat.

Wait!

They pushed themselves out, running to the tunnel as fast as they could. The blue lizard followed right behind them, before abruptly stopping and hissing. Monk turned around. There was another lizard there, and their friend was baring its teeth at it as it ran towards them.

Leave it! Come!

Yanking on the blue lizard’s frills, they coaxed it to follow into the tunnel after them.

On the other side was the inside of a chimney. The air was thick with dust, making Monk’s eyes water, but as they gazed upwards, they had time to spot white paw pads and a tail disappearing into another tunnel.

Monk grabbed onto the pole leading up. They tried to climb as fast as they could, but it was gruelling, their paw pads slipping and their muscles aching. They couldn’t go any faster. Then, they felt lighter. The lizard, climbing after them, was pushing them ahead with its snout.

Emerging from the tunnel with the lizard at their tail, Monk had to blink their eyes to adjust to the light. They had emerged somewhere far above, where they could see across a dizzying distance – and yet, they there was still way to go further up.

But most importantly, Monk spotted a rather familiar shape. A creature with a white tail and ear tips, standing upright, surveying the lands below with a spear in its paw.

Monk was speechless. It was them. It was really them.

The blue lizard charged past them, its jaws agape.

No, don’t!

Monk ran between their sibling and the lizard, grabbing onto the lizard’s upper jaw and holding it down. They turned their back to the lizard, digging their paws into the ground to stop their friend from approaching their sibling.

A spear, in their face. Monk felt their eyes widen all the way as they came face to face with their big sibling. Their shoulders were raised in alarm as they held onto their spear tight.

For a moment, it was just like that. The two slugcats staring at each other’s eyes, breathing heavily, while the blue lizard settled.

There’s…

It was their big sibling’s voice. It really was.

There’s a lizard behind you. Did you know that?

Sibling!

Monk leaped to wrap their arms around their sibling’s neck, nuzzling into their cheek. They held to them tight as if they might disappear again. Their sibling was tense, still clutching the spear, though it was now lowered. They weren’t hugging back, so Monk finally backed away. Big sibling’s eyes were still wide, fixated on the blue lizard.

It's okay! The lizard is a friend.

How are you here?

I jumped after you!

But… Why? I don’t-

The lizard, seemingly having made up its mind, took this moment to affectionately push its snout against the white slugcat. Monk’s sibling tensed again, the spear straining in their grip.

I’ve looked for you all over!

I’ve looked for you, as well… Do you know where all the others are?

Monk thought about it for a moment.

No. I didn’t even… I didn’t even think. About it.

Alright. I’m betting on them being West from here, although- we should hibernate, as soon as we can.

Okay! Food!

There were batflies there, so Monk leaped upwards to grab one. As they sunk their teeth into their meal, their sibling was still just standing there. But eventually, they too began hunting, looking back to Monk and the lizard from time to time.

It was like being back home, when their parents would take them both to hunt. Their sibling had always been better at catching the little insects than they were, but today, the white slugcat’s jumps weren’t quite as high. Were they injured?

Monk went over to smell them, but nothing seemed unusual.

I’m full. There you go.

Monk shoved the batfly into their sibling’s face, but they wouldn’t eat.

I have enough. We should go now.

Monk looked them up and down. They didn’t look full.

No you don’t. Here, eat!

Their sibling reluctantly bit into the batfly. Monk couldn’t understand. It wasn’t like they were in a hurry, since the rain still wouldn’t be coming in a while.

There was a squeak. As Monk and their sibling turned to look, they saw the blue lizard, holding a baby noodlefly in its jaws.

… Perhaps it would be best for them to go, after all.

It was a struggle for all three of them to squeeze into the same shelter, but they managed. Their sibling still seemed a little tense. Monk pressed their face against the white slugcat’s side while the lizard curled around them both.

They were together at last. And together, they would find their parents and little sibling and home and everyone else.

As the shelter sealed them in and sleep whisked Monk away, their sibling was still awake.

Chapter Text

The maw of a lizard, right in their face.

Survivor jumped backwards, hitting the shelter wall, their eyes wide and their heart pounding. But the beast just stared at them. Not even moving as the mechanism sealing them in groaned open. Snuggled against the lizard’s belly was their little sibling, yawning and rubbing their eyes.

Hi. Are you okay?

Survivor forced themselves to stop pressing against the wall, though their muscles remained tense.

I’m fine. We should get moving, this cycle isn’t very long.

Okay!

The lizard is blocking the exit.

Let me.

Their sibling walked up to the lizard’s snout, pushing at it with all their might. Survivor would have helped, if the obstacle had been an inanimate object and not a lizard. But their sibling managed to move it, eventually.

How did you end up befriending a lizard, anyways?

Joining them outside the shelter, their sibling tilted their head from side to side.

You speak funny.

I don’t speak any different.

What did you ask?

The lizard. Where did it come from?

We hunt together. It scares away monsters and I can kill centipedes.

A snap of jaws made Survivor whip their head around. The lizard had apparently busied itself with hunting, having caught an unfortunate eggbug. The lizard shook it around, its eggs scattering across the platform as it struggled before finally falling limp as the lizard’s razor-sharp teeth pierced its exoskeleton.

Thank you thank you!

The little sibling went to pick up the eggs, handing some over to Survivor, turning their back to the lizard that was now gobbling up the bug that was at the very least slugcat-sized.

They travelled upwards, with Survivor in the lead, glancing down from time to time to check up on their sibling and the lizard. They kept their eyes open for any danger, as well as any trees in the distance. Thus far, they couldn’t see any. But maybe if they climbed higher, they would.

I think we should go up and West.

Why West?

It’s a hunch.

What about those things over there? I think they say we should follow.

Survivor looked over to where their sibling and the lizard were inspecting a very familiar-looking something. An overseer, though not the same one Survivor had met – this one was light blue rather than yellow.

Don’t follow those.

Why not?

They won’t lead you anywhere useful. Trust me.

They seem friendly. I don’t understand.

We’re going West. They want to take you to the East, which is further away from our home.

Their sibling squinted their eyes, looking at Survivor for a long time before speaking again.

What if they want to help.

They don’t-

The lizard hissed sharply. Survivor whipped around to look at it, and could just spot a large shadow slipping over it.

Run!

It was a long way down, so upwards they went – there was a tunnel nearby. They would be safe there. Survivor grabbed a spear off a platform, climbing the pole as fast as their little limbs would take them. Soon, they could see the vulture diving towards them, its wings lifted up, the steam shooting out of it only barely slowing its descent. But they were almost there. Just a little more climbing, and Survivor would be safe.

They glanced downwards.

Oh, no.

Their sibling was falling behind – the blue lizard was pushing them ahead, but they still couldn’t quite nearly as fast as Survivor could. Survivor reached the top platform with the tunnel entrance, but the vulture dove right past them.

No! Climb faster!

Survivor leaped back down, hurling their spear at the bird while it reached for their little sibling. The spear lodged itself into the predator’s flesh, but it didn’t let up. Survivor’s sibling’s terrified squeal was cut short as the bird snatched them from the pole.

No!

Survivor looked around for a spear, or a rock, anything. On the nearest platform, there was a jagged stone. They jumped down there, grabbing their makeshift weapon, and turned back around –

But they could only just see the vulture retreating into the sky, their sibling dangling limp in its beak.

No.

Survivor looked as the bird disappeared from sight. The stone fell from their paw.

They had gotten their sibling back last cycle. It wasn’t fair.

Survivor only just about registered that another vulture had appeared, and it was harassing their sibling’s lizard. The lizard that was supposedly so great at protecting the little slugcat.

They couldn’t bring themselves to hugely care as the blue reptile disappeared into the skies, much like their sibling had.

They looked down. It was a long, long way, one that made them dizzy. They couldn't even see how far the drop was, not with the gathering mist.

Was their sibling the same as them? Surely they were, right? If they fell now, then they would wake up as if nothing had ever happened. Their sibling would still be there with them.

But what if they were wrong? Just looking down was making their stomach feel odd.

No. They knew. It would be okay.

It had to be done.

Survivor jumped off the platform. At the last moment, instinct took over and they reached for the ledge, but their paws slipped, leaving them plummeting down, down, down.

They found themselves next to their sibling and the lizard once more, their heart still hammering in their chest.

Chapter Text

Monk woke up pressed tightly against the blue lizard, a nightmare softly fading as they opened their eyes with a yawn. Opposite to them was their sibling… looking a bit more ruffled than usual.

Hi. Are you okay?

The white slugcat stared at them, their eyes wide. They smelled of fear. Monk tilted their head.

A nightmare, too?

We should get going.

Monk took that as a yes.

They climbed upwards, Monk’s big sibling showing the way. The lizard was keeping its eyes open for food – Monk saw some fruit dangling, as well, but reaching for it felt a bit scary in a place like this, especially with the pace their sibling was keeping up. Monk supposed they didn’t like the open spaces, either.

The lizard sunk its teeth into a bug, its egg scattering across the platform. Some fell down, but Monk had filled their belly last cycle, so there was more than enough for them. And so, they went to hand some to their sbiling, who was tapping their feet against the platform as Monk and the lizard feasted.

Here. Food.

They pressed the eye against their sibling’s cheek, but the white slugcat kept their mouth firmly shut.

I’m not hungry. We should go now.

Big sibling wasn’t even looking their way, staring off into space instead.

Are you sure you’re okay?

Yes. But we shouldn’t stay here.

And so, they kept climbing. Monk thought that some of their sibling’s fear was surely seeping into them, for they found themselves glancing around nervously. They looked at their lizard. Was it scared, too? It was hard to tell. Monk didn’t speak lizard. They wondered if lizards even spoke lizard.

Something caught their eye. There were blue… somethings, peeking out of a platform opposite of the way they were going. They were a bit smaller than Monk was, slender and resembling worms. They had long limbs and… Had Monk ever seen these before? They couldn't remember when or where that would have happened, but the creatures looked vaguely familiar nonetheless.

Sibling. Look.

One of the creatures popped out of the ground right in front of Monk, looking at them and gesturing something that Monk couldn’t understand. When Monk reached to touch it, it went into the ground and appeared again a bit further away. It didn’t seem scared, however, not even of the lizard. In front of it, appeared an image of… something. Another creature, maybe.

Leave them.

Monk turned around to look at their sibling, brandishing a spear and scowling at the little blue things.

Why? I think they’re friends.

They’re not, just – we’re right out in the open. We should really get going, now.

Their sibling walked over to them and pushed Monk to the opposite direction of the blue creatures. The lizard hissed, baring its teeth in warning. Monk’s sibling stepped back, their shoulders tense. Monk brought a paw to the lizard’s snout. Shh, shh.

There might be more of them. Maybe they want to help.

The white slugcat was still breathing heavily, glancing between Monk and the lizard, and the skies.

Fine, if you want to go then you go that way. I’m going West.

What?

Their sibling didn’t elaborate, their feet planted firmly on the platform.

You’re my sibling! I just found you- We can’t survive alone!

You certainly cannot. But I can, so we’re going where I say.

What? I’ve made it this far.

No, you have not! You just died last cycle! Or… this cycle, I think-

What are you talking about?

Monk’s sibling was gesturing wildly. Individual words made sense, but Monk couldn’t wrap their head around what they were trying to explain. They were talking too fast, like Monk should have already understood – but they didn’t. It was incomprehensible. By the time their sibling stopped talking, Monk was dumbfounded. They looked at the blue lizard, as if it might have understood better. But it just stared back.

Monk looked back to their sibling.

I came here for you. So you’re not alone. I just want to find family.

Did you not even-

You want that too! So come! I have a good feeling.

Monk grabbed their sibling’s paw, tugging at it.

No!

Their sibling’s paws found purchase on Monk’s chest, shoving them away. From the corner of their eye, they saw the lizard open its jaws, bearing its rows and rows of teeth at the white slugcat, growling as it stepped between them and Monk.

It moved a little too fast, maybe.

For the next thing Monk heard was a sickening squelch as their sibling’s spear was lodged in the blue lizard’s throat.

Monk’s paws turned to ice.

No, no!

The lizard flung its head back, gurgling, as it writhed on the platform. Monk pressed their paws to its side, trying to grab hold of the spear – if they could just pull it out, then surely their friend would be okay – but as the lizard rolled and twitched, its back legs went off the platform. Monk found themselves letting go on instinct as the lizard slid off the platform, the weight of its tail weighing it down. Monk reached after the lizard with their paw, but it was too far away, already disappearing into the thick fog.

Monk stared.

Then, they looked up, to where their sibling was standing, frozen.

Their sibling turned around and ran.

It took a moment for Monk to find their voice.

Wait!

Their sibling climbed up a pole – had they been slowing down for Monk's sake, before? Now they certainly weren’t. Monk grabbed onto the pole as well, but going as fast as they could, their sibling still gained ground.

They always were the faster one.

Monk followed after them into a tunnel, but it was too late – up there, it was a crossroads, and their sibling had already departed into another pipe.

There was no sound except for the wind. No smell aside from the inevitable rain.

Don’t… leave me alone.

Chapter Text

Survivor didn’t feel like eating. Once they stopped running, they crawled into a very fortunately placed shelter, not waiting for rain to start. They wanted this cycle to be over. They didn’t want to repeat it anymore. To repeat any of what just transpired.

Maybe it would be fine now. Little sibling wouldn’t catch up to them, they’d go their own way. Maybe they wouldn’t survive. But being the same as Survivor themselves, they would have infinite time to learn to do so.

They didn’t need their little sibling. And they didn’t need to eat, either. It would be okay.

Their stomach growled as they squeezed their eyes shut, waiting for sleep. They tossed and they turned. The rain still didn’t come. But sleep eventually did.

Their dreams weren’t kind to them. Lizards and echoes of the past and phantoms and random gods. They all swirled in a ring around Survivor, as though dancing. Mocking them, perhaps. They ran from them, but they were surrounded from all sides, no escape in sight. And then, there was their little sibling, falling, in the middle of the ring. Their shape shifted, they became smaller and more blue – their youngest sibling. Falling, with the terrified squeak of a pup calling for their parents to save them. Their shape shifted once more, and now, it was Survivor’s parents. And then, it was themselves. Falling, still. Survivor reached out a paw but couldn’t catch the white slugcat, who was them, and then they felt themselves falling, falling, all the way down...

It still felt like they were falling, when they stirred awake to a new cycle. They were half-convinced that the dream must have been real.

Their stomach growled as they struggled to make it out the shelter.

Food.

Their legs would barely carry them across the gaps that they had leaped so easily the last cycle. They thought that there were vultures, maybe. But Survivor dove to safety in time. They found batflies. It took a while to catch them. Survivor stuffed them into their mouth, and kept going until they couldn’t eat anymore.

They felt strong, again. Capable.

But…

Weak, in a way. Hopeless. Now that they had energy once more, the memories of the previous cycle flooded back in with a revenge. But also, awareness of a presence.

They tried climbing further up. It made their limbs heavy, but not with exhaustion. They recognized this feeling. The world was in slow-motion.

They considered not climbing any further.

But, it was as if their paws carried them there without their consent.

Up as far as they could go, the world became distorted. They saw a creature – or a someone – was it the same one they’d met before, or someone different? It hardly mattered. Their vision went white and they thought they might tumble down, but simultaneously it felt like they were rising up, turning into the clouds in the sky.

They caught a glimpse of a blue lizard, further down. It was walking alongside a yellow slugcat, and… A white slugcat, too. They saw the white slugcat feeding the lizard.

The lizard went past, as if Survivor was flying over it, somehow. And then, it was back, the same lizard, but... different. They saw the white slugcat leaving with the yellow one, leaving the lizard behind. Then they saw the white slugcat dangling from the lizard’s jaws while the yellow slugcat chased behind them with a spear.

They caught a glimpse of the yellow slugcat, but they turned to look away.

Away from the slugcat, they saw an eggbug, running free, getting speared, crawling into a little space in a wall to watch its eggs hatch.

They saw a vulture, pulling a spear from its wing. They saw a vulture, feeding a lizard to its young. They saw a vulture, losing in a fight against a huge lizard with a long, spiny tail.

It was cacophony.

Was Survivor the same as them? Just another animal, living a hundred different cycles, all at once? Surely, they weren’t like that. They were above them all, right now. Up here, it was quieter - but also lonely.

They had reached the clouds, but there was further to go, yet.

There was a sound of grinding metal that filled their senses, swallowing them and pulling them away from this space with nothing and everything in it.

They woke up in a shelter. At first, they thought they were alone.

Survivor caught a yellow shape from the corner of their eye. They turned to look, their heart racing.

But it wasn’t their sibling.

It was golden and with tendrils, and it swam through the wall as Survivor reached a paw to it. It just felt like air. Not solid and warm like a slugcat was.

Survivor watched it go. They didn’t want to follow it. Perhaps they would stay in their shelter another cycle.

Their stomach growled.

And so, they followed the phantom.

Chapter Text

Monk’s muscles strained as they pulled themselves up another pole, another platform – the climb was seemingly never-ending. Ahead of them, the blue creatures appeared and disappeared and waved their limbs around, only stopping until the slugcat caught up and then retreating further up.

Monk wanted to trust them.  They were the only creatures around that wouldn’t snap their jaws or beaks at Monk, or outright run away. Perhaps they were like slugcats, maybe they had a colony as far up as they could climb. Safe from the rain.

The rain was less of a problem now, indeed. The air was foggy, but Monk thought they might be above most the clouds by now. If the rain was to come, would it even reach them? It seemed convenient. Up here was a good place to make a home, perhaps.

Unfortunately, Monk clearly wasn’t the only one who had thought of that. For up there, where metal had been twisted into enormous caves and dens and trees, there were beasts lurking within.

Monk spotted yellow tendrils peeking out of a giant metal orb. At first, they thought it might be the tail of a slugcat – maybe there was a colony of them around? They approached, cautiously, wanting to see better. Whatever it was, it disappeared inside. Monk called for it to come back out.

Well, it did.

Only, turns out that lizards come in all kinds of deceptive hues.

And with the one, an entire swarm of them crawled out.

Monk bolted.

Every little sound could have been danger. Every glimpse of metal shifting when it shouldn’t have been; every odd growth on the ceiling. Monk was sent running again and again as something inconspicuous turned out to be yet another hungry mouth. Poles grabbed them. They tossed rocks and spears to their best effort, but at the end of the day, they were the one running. They were the prey and those were the predators.

Pushing themselves into another shelter, praying for it to close before the pursuing lizard could make it in, they curled up into a ball. They couldn’t seem to stop shaking, as if they were very, very cold. Their breaths came out ragged, too loud, they would alert everything to their location if they kept that up. But they couldn’t stop. They coughed and convulsed until sleep whisked them away.

It seemed like they would never reach the top. The wall must have gone on forever.

But they did. They couldn’t tell so in advance – the building might have as well continued from where they could see. Suddenly, there was no further wall to climb. Only a tunnel that led inside. And from up there… They could see everything, and nothing at all. The entire world was covered with thick clouds. They could only assume their sibling was somewhere beneath. But in the distance, they saw other structures peeking from between the clouds, so small from up there but they must have been at the very least as tall as the one Monk had spent cycles upon cycles scaling.

They looked, for a while. For once, there was no rush.

Then they entered the structure.

At once, something was different. Their paws felt heavier, their body lighter. For a moment they thought they might be sick from all the climbing and running. Maybe they were dying. But nothing happened. There was just… was that the sound of the wind? But they were indoors now. There shouldn’t have been wind.

There were a few ways to go there, and to Monk’s dismay, the blue creatures didn’t seem to be there to guide them. But it quickly turned out that out of all the ways to go, there was only one that Monk could actually make it to. One was out of Monk’s reach, another shut behind a gate they couldn’t get past. And so, they climbed just a little further up.

Up there, was the top of the structure. But that was hardly what was most interesting about it.

A giant creature. Monk flinched and prepared to run, but… it didn’t move to attack. Maybe it was blind? Although somehow, Monk felt that it must see them. The sky seemed to shift around its body, its shining tentacles – it looked like nothing Monk had ever seen before. Monk felt that they might be shifting, as well. The creature pulsed softly. Monk’s heartbeat adjusted to the same pace.

And then, there was blinding light.

Monk remembered little of the dream that came after. They thought they saw their sibling, their family, even the blue lizard was there. And others. Countless others. As many as there were stars in the sky, and shining just as bright. Monk reached for them, but they swam away.

It’s okay! I’m your friend!

Their voice was swallowed by the swirling air, that no longer felt like air at all – it was rather like thick mud. Monk could barely move their limbs. The creatures could, though, and they swam away, downwards, West.

Don’t leave me!

The phantoms shone bright as the black sea all around shifted, and then Monk was falling.

When they woke up in their shelter, they thought they still saw the golden shapes swimming beneath their eyelids. Heading somewhere different.

Monk considered following them.

Or, they could continue heading up. Hadn’t they just been up there? Or had that been a dream, too?

Are you going where my sibling was going?

The shapes didn’t answer. Monk doubted they even heard them. They were there, but they were not there.

The…

overseers

were there for certain.

It wasn’t that much further up.

And they’ll take you to their god.

Monk wasn’t sure what a god was.

It was all rather confusing. They found themselves pacing in place, almost deciding on a way to go, but then stopping in their tracks. They knew they should keep their eyes and ears open for danger now that there was no one there to protect them,

- they tried moving their legs, but they could only wiggle their paws as the legs pressed against each other awkwardly, starting to go numb from the pressure -

No, that had never happened. Had it?

They remembered half-forgotten dreams of drowning, or being stabbed, of being caught in the rain, of being snatched away by a lizard, or by a vulture…

How much of it had been real? How much of it was nightmares? Their breaths were getting shorter, again. They must have gotten sick. They were feverish, this wasn’t real. They –

They barely had any time to react as a bug dropped down from the ceiling above with a hiss. Its fangs pierced their skin, and as they were carried away, they dreamed of faraway siblings and rings and spirals and oceans and oceans of slugcats.

Chapter Text

Survivor’s dreams were particularly awful that cycle.

They dreamed of rings of stars and spirals of phantoms, all reaching upwards, but sinking down. Survivor’s found themselves caught in one of the rings. It felt like water, ushering them forward, pushing their head underwater until they could hardly breathe. They had felt this before.

Back then, they had lost consciousness, the water too strong for their little body to fight.

Had they not tried hard enough? If they had held onto their parent tighter, or swam against the current longer, would they have remained there, with their family? Because to be with their family was what they wanted, right?

Their yellow little sibling was nowhere to be seen, this time.

Cold dread seeped to the tip of Survivor’s tail. Their sibling must have already drowned. They were sure of that.

There were others caught in the same current as them. Not anyone Survivor would recognize – none from their family, and none from their wider commune, they thought. Although their faces had blurred in Survivor's mind, recently. Mixed together, until they were indistinguishable. But they all floated with them, struggling to keep their head above the water. If only they could last like that, until the end of the river.

None of them seemed to notice that the river would never end. It looped around, and even the strongest slugcat would eventually succumb.

Faceless and nameless slugcats sunk beneath the torrent beside Survivor. The white slugcat held onto the paws of some, to try to keep them afloat. No use. They always slipped away once they tired out.

There had to be somewhere else to go.

When they woke, they kept going. Cycle after cycle, more food, more surviving, even when it started feeling counterintuitive to perpetuate the journey. Vultures, spiders, lizards in every colour. Survivor didn’t think any of them realized how trapped they were, and thus felt no regrets striking them down.

(They avoided going after the blue lizards, generally. They were small and weak regardless. Not likely to be a threat. They might even be useful, by hunting some of the bothersome centipedes crawling about. It was no use killing them. No use.)

The only other creature keeping them company was the occasional golden shapes drifting through the air, and the even less frequent

echo

making the world slow down around them. Making them feel a little worse, although lighter at the same time.

They met one in a land with bright flowers and flying centipedes and sunshine. It reminded them of home, a little bit.

They thought that might explain why their dreams were the way they were at the end of the cycle.

They were back, swept by the current, now surrounded by bodies both lifeless and alive. They didn’t want to join them. They needed to break free. And so, they tried swimming out of the stream.

It took every bit of their strength, but finally, their front paws were out, and then their body, and finally their tail. They floated at the centre of the ring. There, it seemed so peaceful. Like the other creatures trapped in the stream were being gently carried, with the comforting sound of flowing water.

They knew it wasn’t so. They swam upwards, through more rings of creatures, some of them slugcats, some of them not. Their ears went down when swimming through a circle consisting of only lizards, but none noticed the slugcat.

Their paws got heavier as they went higher. But they saw, there was something up there.

No. I’m almost there!

At first, it felt like resistance. Then, it felt like a trickle of water against them. Like droplets. Like rain. It swept them down, down, all the way back to where they had fought so hard to climb away from.

And down there…

Survivor felt little heartbeats all around them. As they opened their eyes, they found the sleeping bodies of their parents, their littlest sibling. The rain was slowing down, and they were all stirring awake.

Survivor got up and walked to the threshold of their nest. From up there, they could see their homeland. They could hear the birds and see the sun peeking behind the tree branches. The waters and the lizards and the buildings. All of it home.

Hi! Hi!

Survivor tensed as something bumped against their leg. Looking down, it was their little cyan sibling.

Awake!

Their sibling was jumping around, reaching with its paws. Survivor picked them up. They felt… solid. They didn’t fade into mist, not like the phantoms.

From the corner of their eye, they saw one of their parents walking up to them, reaching to pick up their sibling. As they approached, Survivor saw that they were… smaller… than they had remembered?

Their parent didn’t say much, just handed them a spear, which Survivor gleefully took. They stared as their parent licked their sibling behind the ears, despite their protests. Their sibling pressed their little paws against their parent’s face to push them away, to no avail. Squeaking pathetically.

No!!!

Survivor huffed with amusement, their ears perking up.

It’s good to keep clean, you know. All that dirt will weigh you down.

Their parent and sibling turned to look at them with big, shiny eyes as they spoke. Survivor shifted awkwardly as their other parent walked over to join them. But someone was missing.

Where’s… Where’s the yellow sibling?

Their family looked at each other, and then back to Survivor.

Out seeking. For fruit.

What? In the rain?

They stared at Survivor as if that was a stupid question to ask.

Look. Here they come.

Survivor turned back around. Someone was approaching the tree. Yellow ears, a round body, though smaller than theirs was. A thick tail. Carrying blue fruit with them as they climbed up to the nest.

Hi! I’m back! And I brought food!

Survivor’s family all reached to free the yellow slugcat of their burden, sinking their teeth into the juicy morsels.

Survivor felt the corners of their eyes crinkle up.

What, aren’t you going to feed your big sibling, too?

Their sibling looked them in the eye.

But I thought you didn’t want any.

Survivor woke up with a start.

Chapter Text

Monk woke right back up again.

The bedding of the shelter was the same as last time, bunched up where Monk had clutched onto it. The humming of the closing mechanism was the same. Peeking their head out the shelter, the scent of upcoming rain was likewise the same. They had been through here twice, now.

It couldn’t have been a dream.

What had they dreamt about, in between dying and waking? They thought they recalled their sibling… who had abandoned them. Left them to die.

But they couldn’t die. Not conclusively.

It hurt no less.

And this meant that there was no questioning whether they’d be able to make it to the top of this structure by themselves. For they could try as many times as they needed.

It was distressing.

The stress gave them strength to set out climbing, once more.

They remembered everything – where the lizards lived, where to find food, how to make some of the more difficult jumps. How the clouds in the distance were broken up by spires reaching for the skies. That made things a little easier, although avoiding the lizards was still arduous.

If only the blue lizard was still here.

Coming to think of it, the blue lizard had never needed to be gone. Not if this worked the way Monk thought it did. But they hadn’t known then.

It was a small comfort to know that perhaps the lizard was still doing alright, just somewhere Monk could never get to.

They would reach the top of the structure. That much was certain.

But what then?

Their thoughts tangled in their head. Suddenly, they were very hungry. They stuck some fruit into their mouth, the delicious juices spilling down their face. It was good.

They could no longer remember what it was that had been so concerning to them.

With a bit of careful manoeuvring, they were able to make it up a different path. This one didn’t lead to a mystical creature, but rather, a very dusty, open expanse. Normally, the lack fo shelter would have scared Monk – but it didn’t seem like any creature lived there. Nothing but barely-there grass, a few brackens here and there, tiny insects. It was unsettling.

Monk considered turning back.

But at the end of the day, they supposed if something bad were to happen, they would simply find themselves back in their nest.

The dust got in their eyes and mouth. And even aside from that, everything was so… bright. It was strange, how the grass crumbled as Monk stepped on it. How there was no shelter from the scorching sun. Monk felt their skin become sticky, and then dusty. They were relieved to reach a gate at the end of it all, to let the evaporating water wash away the muck. And, they were relieved to find food and shelter on the other side.

The next cycle, they proceeded ahead.

The little blue things had disappeared. Monk doubted they could have lived up in the desert. Either they lived somewhere around here, or… Or their sibling had been right, and the creatures had been leading them astray.

It was a disturbing thought. That they might have been better off just following their sibling.

Monk pushed the thought aside as they squeezed themselves into a little tunnel.

On the other side, something was immediately different. Monk found their paws light again – another one of those giant floaty creatures, maybe? But as they proceeded downwards, they felt lighter and lighter, much more so than they had been back then. They were spinning around, not sure which way was up. Quietly, they were glad they hadn’t eaten anything yet, for it made their stomach squirm uncomfortably.

They looked to the side(?) and they saw… a drawing. It was hard to see what it depicted, but it must have been a drawing, because it wasn’t real. There were creatures… two, maybe. They were nothing like anything Monk had ever seen.

Achingly, they thought back to the slugcat colony. They thought about how some of their particularly talented kin would put paint on the walls of their nests, to show something too complex to explain. They remembered being cradled when they were nothing but a little pup, pressing their paws against the images and watching them smudge under their touch. Being picked up by one of the larger slugcats, talked to with soothing words they couldn’t yet understand.

They had to get back.

They waved their arms as though swimming, until they reached the next tunnel.

On the other side, it was bright, but not in the same way as it had been outside. No yellow, muted colours, washed away by the sun. Instead, different colours flashing everywhere, all around. At first, Monk thought they were bugs, or little fish. But they phased right through them, colouring Monk's paws with all kinds of hues.

Grabbing onto the walls to push themselves ahead, Monk made it across a long expanse of little lights and floating debris. The sounds there reminded them of the gates and the shelters, mechanisms humming with energy.

Even more vaguely, it reminded Monk of their family’s heartbeat. The blood flowing beneath their skin as they all slept.

They wondered if they were inside some giant creature, right now. It was a peculiar thought to have.

There was a little tunnel. The only way to go. The noise was louder.

Monk went through.

On the other side, more lights. Little pearls. And…

Monk had no time to study the creature in the room with them before the noise of machinery came to a stop, and suddenly their body was heavy as a rock. They dropped onto the floor, twisting their ankle, they thought – but they had no time to survey the damage either, before they found themselves spinning in the air. It reminded them of being taken away by a vulture. It reminded them –

Their vision went dark, and then light, and then normal again. Their head spun with so, so much, like with the echo but worse. For a moment, their paws in front of them made no sense to them. They were scattered shapes of yellow and a lighter yellow and a darker yellow - until, Monk realized it was just the light and the shadows on their paws. Monk turned them around, inspecting them. They were the same. They must have been. But they marvelled at them, like they were the most wondrous thing any slugcat had ever seen.

The wonder gave way to disgust. Their paws were dirty with dust and soil, scratched from being exposed to the elements. Slimy, aching. Corporeal.

The feeling reminded them of when the blue lizard had suddenly been speared, right in front of them, with nothing they could have done to save it, to make their sibling change their mind. It happened so fast. And just like that... they had lost something so precious. Tumbling off the platform like it was nothing more than meat.

But weren't they all nothing more than meat? Their family, their sibling, even themselves. All just vessels of meat, walking around and consuming other vessels of meat. Nothing objective separating them from the lizards and the vultures and the leeches and the fruit.

Was that what Monk wanted?

With their ears ringing, they pushed themselves up from the floor, to take in the creature floating above them.

Chapter Text

Survivor travelled through lands of gold, and lands of soil and grass and towering creatures. They slept and they searched, for what else were they to do? They were heading West, overall. But they hadn’t found their home. Nor had their sibling showed again.

Another echo, and getting across became easier.

At the same time, they felt their mind was filled with more knowledge than a simple animal should ever have accumulated.

When they first woke back up, they felt normal. Then, new memories came back in waves.

Survivor was racing across fields with grass that stuck to them and pulled, until they made it to the other side, swatting the remaining blades off in a panic.

They felt themselves shrink, but the grass remained. It pulled at their limbs, but they were now too little to break free, more and more clung to them and they squealed with a voice more high-pitched than what it should have been. Too weak, too little, the grass pulled –

Paws around their body, pulling them free. The grass left little red marks on their skin as it reluctantly let go. Survivor held onto their rescuer’s limbs, shaking and pressing their head against them as they were closed in a comforting embrace.

It’s okay. Nothing bad will happen while I am here.

Promise?

They remembered that. They were told that all the time when they were smaller.

But this scene with the worm grass, it was new. They had always known not to go near that grass. It was… instinct, wasn’t it?

They were still being held by the slugcat, this one was not their parent, though they thought they remembered – this one had disappeared and taken much of their kin with them, when the food became scarce and the parasites numerous. Them and their siblings and their parents ate well after that.

The slugcat held onto little Survivor.

A lizard.

The bigger slugcat was taken first. They threw Survivor away, to give them a chance.

They all made mistakes, all the time, it seemed. Even the bigger slugcats, the parents, the guardians. For Survivor landed straight in a patch of ravenous grass.

Survivor’s outstretched paws became bigger, and the marks faded from their skin. Their paws were instead holding onto the antlers of a massive, although seemingly friendly beast, as it carried them over the grass. Survivor held a bit tighter.

They weren’t the same as the deer, or the grass, or the centipedes they filled their belly with. They weren’t the same as the other slugcats, either.

They kept moving. Kept eating, for they couldn’t stop. Kept their eyes on their paws and kept their paws busy.

They stood in a gate as the water fell from above. Nothing to do there but wait. And then, just like that, they were smaller again, though not as small as before. And there were others. Their parents. Their other parent’s belly was round, their tail thin.

In front of them, was their yellow little sibling. Wounds on their body where teeth had sunken in… motionless.

Wake up!

Survivor shoved at their sibling, turning them around to face somewhere other than the ground. Their face, their eyes…They didn’t look normal. Survivor leaped back, breathing heavy.

But we scared off the lizard!

Their parents were dead quiet. They looked to each other.

It’s not fair! Sibling should be okay!

You need to be very brave, now.

What?

Their parent with the round belly held Survivor’s face between their paws, looking them in the eye.

You want your sibling back, don’t you?

Survivor blinked their eyes, pleading.

I can make that happen.

Survivor shifted to look at their other parent, crouched over the little yellow slugcat, looking at the parent with the round belly like they’d grown a second head.

No, little one, sorry –

I can make that happen. But you need to be brave. Can you be brave?

Survivor nodded.

Rain’s coming – we should –

I need you to trust me. I’m sorry.

Their parent held their paw, and then reached to hold the paw of the other parent as well.

What are you-

Their parent leaped into the water, dragging Survivor and the other parent down with them. Water got in their eyes and their mouth.

Survivor didn’t understand. They needed to swim up, needed to –

Their parents were fighting, leeches attaching to their bodies as they struggled. Down there, where all that came out their mouth was bubbles, none could speak. Survivor swam towards them – they were confused, but they had to help parents - but their parent with the round belly gestured to Survivor with one paw, holding the struggling other parent with the other one.

Swim as far down as you can. Your sibling will be there. I promise.

Survivor swam downwards. They wanted their sibling back – they were determined. They were brave.

But, shamefully, once they started desperately drawing water into their lungs in search for air, the turned back around, trying to reach the surface.

It was too far.

Their paws stopped working first, and then, they sank.

The gate opened. Survivor went across with shaky legs.

On the other side, there was a drop, far, far down. They couldn’t get back up if they went, they realized.

There was nowhere else to go.

They clung to the wall as they slid downwards, until their paws got lighter and the world began slowing. They knew what it meant, by now.

They thought back to the last few cycles, of the memories flooding in. Memories they didn’t wish to remember. Information they didn’t need to know.

It would get worse if they made it to the echo. They knew as much.

But the phantoms had led them here, where the ground opened in a gash. It had to mean something. They had nothing else. Nothing else to follow, nothing else to keep them company.

And so, they went.

It was the last one. They dreamed of being high, high up. There was no further they could go, no matter how they swam. Only one way to go, then. And so they did, when they awoke.

This place was a nightmare. It was as if every wretched creature had made its home here – but there was something else that was far more alarming.

The train carts. Survivor remembered these – they went for a long distance, these tunnels. Their parents said they were called trains. What they were for, no one knew, but they always went in a straight line and they were all connected.

Their home, then. It must have been further West – if they followed the train tunnels, they would find their way there.

Their heart leapt with joy once, twice. Before it sank, as they realized something.

Their sibling wouldn’t be there. That much was clear, but there was a good chance their other sibling wouldn’t, either. Perhaps not their parents. Perhaps none of the other slugcats, not with how many times Survivor had died while they had presumably continued their life as normal, having already forgotten about them and their lost, poor sibling. Or perhaps, they had tried to reach their lost family once more, only for it to not work as the Survivor and their sibling had remained alive that cycle, against all odds.

Reunion might have not been an option.

It had been, with their yellow sibling, once.

Survivor travelled far down. If there was one thing that was good about the insects crawling all over this place, it was that they remained alert, on the task of finding food and shelter without getting caught in any of their fangs or stingers.

Further down, it was very dark, and the tunnels were tight against their sides. And there, in a maze of lizards and red lights and spiders, Survivor found a shelter to rest in. The bedding was rough and the mechanism screeched as it slid the entrance shut, but it would do just fine for now.

Once their heartbeat slowed down, their paws in front of them stayed the same size. Instead, their vision filled with… themselves, they presumed. A white slugcat, following a little yellow overseer across an ocean. At the end, a giant structure where their family wouldn’t be.

There was food, there. And there was a different creature – one Survivor had seen before, or at least heard about, back when they had decided to not pursue this path.

The not-Survivor laid their head down in the blue strange creature’s lap, and it brought a limb to scratch behind the slugcat’s ears.

There were golden phantoms there, too, though the not-Survivor seemed preoccupied. Almost like they couldn’t see. But Survivor could see them, and could hear them, too, as they whispered.

…left behind sibling…

Survivor tried closing their ears. But the accusatory phantoms swarmed their vision, until they could no longer see the not-Survivor, nor the iterator, nor could they tell their thoughts from the whispers which together became static noise more akin to a scream than a quiet suggestion.

It's okay.

It's not long now.

Chapter Text

“I am growing increasingly impatient with the traffic of your kind through me and my premises.”

Monk twitched their ear as the words registered – they weren’t quite spoken, nor were they gestured to them… Nothing like with another slugcat. But they could only assume it was the creature above them that was speaking. Monk had never seen anything like this one. It wore…

No. That wasn’t right. Monk thought they knew his name, despite having never met him before.

Oh. He was still speaking.

“-you apparently have sufficient ability for communication to circulate complex instructions on how to enter this chamber among each other.”

It was big concepts, big words – the kind that the older slugcats in the commune had sometimes spoken, the kind that, in hindsight, Monk’s sibling must have picked up at some point as well. None of those phrases had been quite this egregious. And yet, Monk could just barely grasp what was being told to them.

Are you talking about my sibling? Have you seen them?

There was no response. Not even an acknowledgement of their question. Whatever means he was using to communicate to them, it seemingly worked as a one-way stream.

Monk didn’t think their sibling had come this way, regardless. Although they hadn’t been very clear about what they had been up to in the time before they had met up – perhaps they had tried telling Monk, though?

Monk didn’t have time to think about the implications of other slugcats being habitually drawn to this chamber, for… Five Pebbles was still speaking.

They shouldn’t have known his name, either.

“We all want a way out. It is only unfortunate that you have collectively decided on... me as your solution to that very elemental desire. The last one I gave some help and some general directions. I will do the same for you. Go west. Past the Farm Arrays. Where the land fissures, go down into the earth and search your way deeper.”

Monk furiously tapped at the ground, trying whatever means they could to get him to slow down. Why was he telling them all this? What was he even talking about? A way out of where, exactly? They had only just arrived, and now they were being given directions to go somewhere else.

West, ironically. That was where their sibling had wanted to go. To find their family, the white slugcat had said. A way out didn’t sound as such.

Five Pebbles was telling them to leave. The gravity went out once more, and Monk was sent floating back the way they came, carried by some unnatural force. They grabbed the edges of the chamber with their paws, defiant.

You can’t just do that. Please, explain what you mean.

They looked the iterator in the eye, ignoring how their paws left traces of slime on the chamber ceiling – frankly disgusting.

“That’s all. You have to go now.”

Monk didn’t want to. Monk wanted him to explain.

The lights were dizzying, going in spirals until Monk’s head began to hurt. Suddenly, there were others in the chamber with them. Slugcats of all shapes and sizes. Some looked exactly like their sibling. Others exactly like themselves. They all jumped around, some grabbing pearls from the floor, others just staring at the iterator. All of them, so small and helpless in this big room. But – they weren’t actually here, were they? As Monk looked closer, some of the slugcats phased right through one another. One leaped upwards, carried by low gravity, and went through Monk before they could as much as blink in alarm.

“Leave.”

The other slugcats all disappeared as Monk found themselves being brought off of the wall, only to be rammed straight back to the tunnel. Their body was weightless yet heavy, being flung like a big piece of meat. They didn’t fight it this time, letting themselves be thrown out.

Outside, it was almost peaceful. Nothing but the blinking lights and static noise, no puppet, no slugcats. They simply floated. If they closed their eyes, they could barely feel their body – they might as well be one of those echoes they had encountered.

They couldn’t stay there, though.

As they climbed out of the iterator, their body got heavier and heavier. The murals on the walls made a little more sense to them, now – though they were more intricate than the simple shapes their own kind usually drew, they did still clearly portray beings, engaging in a variety of actions, all tied to symbols that felt oddly familiar to Monk. They were sure they had seen them before, but, much like with the name of Five Pebbles, they didn’t know where all this was coming from. Why it all felt so different.

When they thought they had calibrated to a change, there was something new. And yet, undoubtedly, they were going through the same rooms as before. There shouldn’t have been anything new and logically they knew there wasn’t, but everything from the dust particles in the air to how the light reflected off of their paws was… unfamiliar.

They looked at the murals as they climbed – violence, reproduction, companionship, consumption, survival. They wondered if Five Pebbles needed any of these. And if he didn’t, then whether he lacked them by choice.

Did Monk?

Did their sibling?

As their body gained its full weight again, they thought they understood their lost sibling a little better. They thought they understood why they were reluctant to eat, why they slept less. It was all rather cumbersome, after all.

Their sibling had stared into space, often, like they were seeing things that Monk wasn’t. They thought they saw them too, now. Little golden shapes, just barely visible, travelling away, westwards, down.

Their sibling was leaving.

Monk could still reach them, maybe. Although the strangeness of the world familiar to them might slow them down, if it was this distracting all the time. Monk’s eyes lingered on details that had never felt important.

Did they wish to reach their sibling?

They found that the memory of the blue lizard falling was softened, a little, knowing that it had likely just woken back up, wondering where the slugcats had gone – unless it had woken next to slugcats identical to Monk and their sibling.

That made Monk’s head spin.

Regardless, the lizard was probably doing its own thing, now. It still hurt to be apart. But perhaps Monk didn’t need it as much as they thought they did.

They certainly couldn’t stay here. Five Pebbles had made that very clear.

So, their sibling might have been their last chance at finding companion.

As they curled up to hibernate, wondering how they could catch up to their sibling, reminiscing about the lizard… Something else was different. Their body became light, like wisps in the wind. They dreamed of pressing against the scales of the blue lizard, curled around them, breathing slow. They dreamed of their sibling, travelling far, far below. They dreamed of places they’d been to before, where they had slept next to the lizard, or by themselves. West. As far as they could go.

As their body regained its weight and the shelter around hummed, Monk opened their eyes to find that it wasn’t the same one. Peeking their head out, they found they were close to the place where they had first emerged from the rainwater –

Outskirts.

It wasn’t as far West and down as they could go, however. Following something close to instinct, they ran through the lands in a haste, sliding down tunnels and metal poles until they found another way down.

Monk picked and ate little bubble fruit as they moved through the lands of moisture, smells and green copper. The pipes were speckled with bubble fruit growing from any available soil on thin stems. Monk could vaguely remember having eaten them on occasion, when they were just a little pup. They didn’t grow back home, but travelling slugcats would sometimes bring them as little gifts… back when they were looking for a new place to live, that is. After they had left, very few would leave at all, the trees and the fruit enough to support everyone, so why would they?

Someone had handed them a few of the blue objects, which their sibling had thought was a rock and thrown it, only to be reprimanded with a soft tap on the ear. With the delicacy submerged, Monk had watched as the water soaked in, until there was a pop and the fruit softened. Monk had loved bubble fruit, not so much for the taste (for it was rather bitter), but for the novelty and for getting to watch them pop.

There was a surplus, here.

Monk placed some in the water. They popped.

Some of the less-than-clean water had gone into the fruit. They ate, regardless. Slow, but not for the sake of savouring the taste – rather because it just wasn’t all that appetizing.

It took only a few cycles for them to travel through the system of tunnels and pipes and water. They were glad to be out – each time they plunged underwater, they began floating to the top – an effect that was only lessened by holding less oxygen in the lungs, but once that ran out, their vision blurred and their paws became weak.

It was reminiscent of events Monk had forgotten. Ones they now worked very hard to push out of their mind, for the task of… finding their sibling, they supposed.

They entered another area, this one pitch-dark, save for some bright red, unnatural lights. There were lizards. Monk did everything in their power to avoid them.

With their vision reduced, the best shot Monk had at finding their sibling would likely be to hear them. Only they would probably be doing the same thing as Monk, staying quiet lest the lizards hear.

The tunnels became tighter. Still, no sibling in sight.

Rain was coming. Instinct to survive reigned. Monk crawled into a little shelter.

This one wasn’t the most comfortable. The bedding was scratchy against their skin, and the ages must have not treated the mechanism very kindly, for it clattered and screamed as it sealed Monk inside.

This was the last place their sibling could have been.

Thinking about it. Maybe they weren’t even reachable. Like the blue lizard wasn’t, anymore.

Not that either of them mattered that much, in the big picture.

Monk slept one last time, and despite it all, they still dreamed of their kin. Supposedly, they didn’t matter – but Monk still watched closely. They were all travelling, far, far down, where the land would fissure.

The next time they woke, Monk followed after them.

Chapter Text

Survivor’s skin itched as they woke, the coarse bedding having pressed against their snout and belly and limbs. Their skin crawled with the sensation as they stretched, the shelter a little too large for just one slugcat.

It soon became clear that the maze of dark tunnels and lizards and red lights had little food there. Survivor’s stomach growled as they made their way deeper down, listening close for lizards and spiders trapped there with them. They, too, had growling stomachs and hungry mouths.

The phantoms were still present, but not much use here, for they swam through walls, only able to give Survivor general directions to go (down, surprisingly). Regardless, the maze gave way to them, and they soon found themselves staring down into what could have very well been a bottomless pit. Down there, there was only darkness. If Survivor jumped… it was unlikely that they could make it back up.

What did it matter, though, if they would wake right back up again?

They jumped and grabbed the wall, sliding down, down… far, far down. At the bottom, there was a tunnel.

The following expanse reminded Survivor of the echoes, for how the terrain distorted and time seemed to slow. Their limbs were lighter than ever… A feat that soon proved to be useful, for this place was littered with tall structures. Some of them reminded Survivor of home, if only vaguely.

This wasn’t the way home.

They had picked the other way.

The air shone with gold lights that reminded them of the phantoms – but there couldn’t have been sunlight. It smelled of dust and smoke and the air made their head feel heavy.

They weren’t alone here, either. The phantoms still swam beside them – and soon, another creature would make its appearance.

It was a long, open area, where they first saw them. Bodies as tall as trees, moving, perhaps even breathing, but… these weren’t animals. Their heads looked too heavy to carry through normal means, and the light around them bent into strange symbols. And they were blocking the only way to go.

Survivor dropped into a crouch, clutching their spear tight. Maybe they were like the kelp. Maybe they wouldn’t notice, if they moved close to the ground, slow, quiet.

Their head was feeling heavier by the moment.

They tried focusing on the way the ground felt against their paws. But soon, their paws shrunk against their will, the ground shifting to one of a much different texture. The air continued to smell strange. As they lifted their gaze, they could see why.

Fire and smoke, engulfing their home.

Their kin, running, many holding pups above their heads as they fled from the flames licking at their heels and their tails.

Survivor felt sleepy. It soon became clear why, for it was still raining. Why were they up…?

As they turned to look another way, they got their answer.

Their tree was on fire. The bark had cracked right open, singed, and though the flames spread slow in the damp grass, the smoke couldn’t be escaped.

One by one, they all dropped down, be it from the rain or from exhaustion.

No. Survivor didn’t need to see this.

How many times had something like this happened? How many times had the lives of them and all their kin been stolen away by just a stray lightning, a particularly heavy rainstorm?

Thankfully, as their head continued to get heavier, they found themselves back at the clearing, now on the other side. Whatever those creatures had been, they didn’t seem to care for slugcats.

Survivor travelled further down.

They could jump so high, now, their steps feather-light. They ran into a wall once, twice. It was hard too see ahead. While their vision wasn’t blurry as it had been in the fire – quite the opposite, actually, everything was looking crisp and clear – the ground seemed to distort and melt away under their paws. They were as floaty and slow as the phantoms all around, now.

And then, there was the sea.

It called to them, like a beating heart called a new-born pup to its mother.

You should never swim down if you didn’t know how far the water goes. That’s how you drown. Survivor finally understood why they knew that without being told.

This wasn’t water.

And death mattered little.

Survivor dove and swam, and this time, they didn’t give up. Didn’t turn back once the pressure started to build, their ears hurting from either that or all the noise.

They held their breath, desperate to go as deep down as they could. But the tight feeling in their lungs that they associated with drowning never came. They opened their mouth, and the air left in bursts of bubbles, until there was no more and they began to sink.

With the air, something else seemed to leave as well. For their belly no longer twisted with hunger.

The golden shapes guiding them were all gone.

They kept swimming down. They didn’t need guidance, not anymore. They could do just fine on their own.

The sea shone like the sun between the clouds, in a manner that felt like it should have blinded a slugcat. It wouldn’t have made any difference, for there was nothing else down here to see. Not until the brightness faded to black, and… There was something moving. Tendrils. Survivor held their spear a little tighter as they got closer.

Giant worms, swimming in seemingly random patterns, their heads shining with the only light that permeated the darkness down here. They moved past one another, swam alongside, and then dissipated, with no rhyme or reason, no way for Survivor to try to predict where they would go next. There would be no getting past them. So they had to swim through.

Turns out, the worms didn’t care about slugcats, either. Yet they swam, and when one got too close, Survivor was thrown off course, sometimes further up. The worms didn’t care, but that hardly mattered. They still hindered the slugcat, tossed them around – Survivor didn’t dare to imagine what would happen if one collided with them, these enormous beings swimming in a blind haste, giving no thought to what might happen to a little animal in their midst.

But wasn’t that always the case?

Survivor struggled to make it further down. It was arduously slow, being brought upwards with the current every time they thought they were almost past these beings. With time, they did make it past – but there was no end to their way, for the darkness just continued. The only indication that they were still progressing was that the lights of the worms gradually got dimmer in the distance. There was no light below. Survivor still swam.

And then…

A low, growling sound.

The world became impossibly bright once more, as one of the worms swam down to… inspect them, maybe? This was bad. It must have been. Big creatures eat small creatures.

Survivor held onto their spear. Maybe they could fight it off – or at the very least distract it for a little bit while they swam away? But they couldn’t flee, oh, no. Every movement of their limbs brought them only a little way, while the worm could easily catch up with just a little flick of its enormous serpent body.

Survivor let go of their spear. Whether it sank or rose upwards, they didn’t know, for they couldn’t see. They turned to face the worm.

From the shining light, peeked a comparatively small head. Its eyes surveyed the slugcat. Fear settled into their belly. It would eat them. Surely, it would.

They didn’t understand how their little sibling could look a beast in the eye and not flee. They were already beginning to miss their spear.

Quickly and soundlessly, the worm brought a thin tendril to Survivor, attaching them to a string. Before Survivor could open their mouth to voice a pointless question, the worm curled up and began swimming.

Void got into Survivor’s mouth and eyes as they were pulled up with it, and then down, down, down… Impossibly fast. They thought their body might break from the force. By the time that it stopped, they could hardly feel their paws anymore. Down there, the worm released them, and then swam away, leaving Survivor spinning and wondering what had just happened.

It hadn’t eaten them.

Instinct was dissipating, now, fear, leaving their body. It wasn’t forced down, but leaving freely like air on exhale. Not that there was any air left in their lungs, regardless.

Though feeling in their paws came back to them, they found that their body wasn’t heavy or repulsive. Any pain they felt, it might have been real, but not significant, not cumbersome.

They yearned, and they required. They wished for light in the dark. Them wanting wasn’t good or bad. It simply was. They didn’t berate themselves for it. For the fact of the matter was that right now, it was too dark for them to see. It was neutral. It was animal.

Perhaps they could choose, whether they wished to see ahead at all. They thought they did.

They sank further. Tired of floating, they swam, instead.

Their prayers were answered, for in the distance, there was light. Getting closer, Survivor realized that it wasn’t light at all, but rather… a body. One that wriggled in the dark, one that got bigger as they approached. It turned to face them, its face familiar. A slugcat.

Survivor swam to it, and touched paws with it as they went past. It was real. This was all real, and not a dream, and not a returning memory.

More joined to greet Survivor. So, so many of them, none of them saying anything, all of them just staring and swimming alongside. Some touched paws with Survivor. Some patted their tail, their shoulder.

The darkness was going away, now. Up ahead, a beacon – if they looked close, Survivor thought they could see circles spinning, all collapsing together into one.

There, where the slugcats all swam in a big swarm, Survivor spotted one that was more familiar than the others. A yellow, soft body, a shorter tail and limbs, round ears, and though Survivor couldn’t see it right now, they knew there would be a kind face.

Sibling!

Their voice didn’t feel like it would carry. But regardless, their sibling swimming up ahead turned in their tracks, coming face to face with Survivor.

Sibling.

Survivor caught up to them.

Hi. … Sorry. Sorry. For…

Their words weren’t quite coming to them.

For leaving.

You were mean.

Sorry. Sorry…

There was something above their sibling’s head. A glowing little shape that blinked as they spoke.

I found it.

Found what?

What you looked for. I… I think I see, now. Why…

Survivor reached to bring a paw to their sibling’s face. They were trying to explain something. Survivor couldn’t understand, but somehow, they thought they grasped the message. Their sibling was forgiving them. Survivor hadn’t even realized that was important to them.

Their sibling reached for them, too, to squeeze their cheeks, a smile in their eyes. Survivor swatted their paws away and tapped the yellow slugcat's shoulder. The two swam in happy circles, playing a game of tag, spiralling past each other, and away, and coming back together in bursts of bubbles and soundless laughter. Survivor didn’t need an explanation. It was bright and it was dark and it was simple.

And down here, there would always be slugcats.

Chapter Text

Thanks to everyone for reading! I tend to orphan all my fics after a little bit, because I prefer to have an empty account here! I might still return to look at comments and such, so they're always appreciated ;)

To cap it all off. Here's something that happened while writing.