Chapter Text
There’s an emptiness in me
Vast
Gaping
Aching
My form crumbling around it
Into it
Not enough
Never enough
Not strong enough
Not smart enough
Not fast enough
Not kind enough
Not human enough
All I wanted was love
All I was searching for was peace
Was that too much to ask?
For someone like me?
I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it
Why I had to be born this way
Into this husk of a form
So useless in all the ways that matter
Still I fight
For all the wrongs that should be right
For all of the hurt I’ve seen
For all the tragedy I’ve caused
But it’s hard
God, it’s so hard
When everything I keep touching
Breaks
When the lives I try to cradle
Are lost
When every battle I fight
Is a new scar
I run
I scream
I tear at the fabric of this world
That has made me see the unspeakable
That has had me choose the unrepentable
That has long since left me behind
Still I fight
I grasp at love
I stand for peace
But each time I skin my knees
With each drop of blood I shed
And every smile I force across my face
A small part of me can’t help it
Ever there, ever persistent
It falls to its knees, and asks
Why?