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The moment that Childe had been waiting for was finally here. He was about to arrive at his home in Snezhnaya and see his family!
He swung open the door but no one was in the living room. "That's weird," he mumbled to himself. "It's the middle of the day!"
As he walked through the hallways of his home, he heard faint murmuring coming from his mother's bedroom.
He knocked on the door. "Mom? You there?"
The door opened. It was none other than Zhongli himself who greeted him.
Childe's jaw dropped so hard that the floorboards could feel the impact. "BRO WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY MOM'S BEDROOM???"
Childe's mother smiled. "You have a new stepfather, Childe!"
Zhongli smiled. "Welcome home, son."
To Childe, Zhongli being his new daddy was worse than the Abyss. Of all the people, it had to be Zhongli. Childe would rather jump into an icy lake and swim with the fishies than deal with whatever this was.
"Zhongli..." Childe fell to his knees. His face was twisted in despair. "Of all the people in the world, why my mother...?"
"It was love at first sight." Zhongli caressed his mother's hand gently as he spoke these words. “From the moment I saw her, I knew she was the one for me.”
The way Zhongli gazed at his mother made Childe want to projectile vomit everywhere. That cheesy, lovey-dovey expression was sickening, especially since it was directed at his mother. It was so sappy that Childe wanted to melt into the floor like cheese on a hot stove.
A single teardrop rolled down Childe's face. He was utterly gutted. The world was spinning around him. Surely this was just a cruel prank? Zhongli as his stepfather? How absurd! There's no way any of this was real, and there's something else that Childe hadn't even realized until now. “Mom, what about Dad? What does he think about all this?”
Her eyes widened at the question, and her hand covered her mouth. “Oh, how do I explain this…?” Childe’s mother glanced at Zhongli. “Your father, when he saw Mr. Zhongli, he, too, fell in love.”
“It was meant to be,” added Zhongli, whose eyes were sparkling as he recounted that monumental moment.
Childe’s body trembled as he began to sob uncontrollably. “H-how could you… after everything, you decide to rizz up my parents? Was… was what happened in Liyue not enough for you?”
Zhongli shook his head, his expression solemn. “I do not understand why you find such faults with my relationships, Childe. I do understand, however, that you may need some time to process all of this. Had I known you would visit, I would have prepared ahead of time so I could properly explain this. My apologies.” He sounded so sorry that it almost made Childe feel bad for the way he reacted. Almost.
That feeling of guilt was erased when he saw his mother gently tousle Zhongli's hair before kissing his cheek gently. "Don't blame yourself, darling. Please, give him some time, and I'm sure he will come around."
He had seen enough. Childe shakily got to his feet and staggered towards the bedroom door. His gaze flitted between Zhongli and his mother. “I’m going to need some time to process all of this,” he said. "I wish you all the best."
Before they could say anything else, Childe slipped out of the room and shut the door. He quickly walked outside. The rush of cold air made him shiver, but he continued to go somewhere, anywhere that was away from his house. “Deep breaths, Childe, deep… deep breaths…” With each breath, the tears threatened to spill over. He couldn't cry. He had to stay strong; he still had to see his siblings and greet them with a happy smile. Yet, his voice was quavering. How could they depend on a brother who broke down in tears because of his parents’ love affair with the Geo Archon? A pained laugh escaped from his lips.
“What a joke…”