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The annual LEP D’Klass Holiday Dance was usually incredibly dull for Holly. Typically, she would prowl around the outskirts, sipping on fruit punch and watching everyone else go crazy on the dance floor. Sometimes she would join, but it was always awkward to be the only one dancing alone.
Five years ago, she’d gone with Trouble. That was fun, and long after that relationship had ended (amicably), she still could recall it with a broad smile. Especially the part where, while dancing, Trouble stepped on her foot and instantly – she would forever maintain this was an accident – she threw her nettle punch in his face. They’d retired from the dance early that night, whereupon they had a nice afterparty at her place, with movies, popcorn, ice for her foot, and a bathrobe for him while his clothes were cleaned and dried.
Unfortunately, that relationship ended about six months later, and for the past four years the dullness had been accentuated by the fact that now she knew exactly what she was missing out on.
But this year, at least four hours ago, had been promising to change that. Now Holly had a plus-one, too, and the dance floor would be hers again! Right?
Wrong.
Due to extremely practical constraints, Holly was still on the sidebar this year. But it was still a lot better, because at least she wasn’t alone.
Holly watched Trouble and Lili dancing. She noticed the smiles on both their faces, and couldn’t help feeling a twinge of jealousy. Not because of Trouble, although surely he would like to think so, but because dancing with her own partner proved to be…technically difficult. She supposed she could dance beside him, or something like that, but that just wasn’t the same thing. And besides, it’d be a cold day in hell before Artemis willingly danced in a crowd.
“You should find someone to dance with,” Artemis said, nudging her gently. “This is supposed to be a celebration.”
Holly rested her head against him. Her chair was far, far higher than she otherwise liked, specifically so she could do that. “And miss out on this?” She raised the glass of Irish whisky. All the other fairies thought it was sim-whisky, and she was more than happy to let them continue to believe so.
“You know, the Book says you’re not supposed to drink with Mud People.”
Holly took this comment at face value. “No, it doesn’t.” As a matter of fact, when Artemis mentioned he was bringing said whisky, Holly had reread the Book just to be sure, and – Artemis was teasing her.
“You’re sure?” He was smiling, and now she was too.
He was definitely teasing her, but now at least she could play along. “Very sure! I take the rules in my life very seriously!” She slurred that second ‘very’. Maybe the liquor was talking a bit. Sort of in harmony.
“Since when?” Now Artemis was smiling.
“Okay, okay. Ha, ha, Holly doesn’t read the rulebook,” she half sang. “No, seriously. I’m not going to pretend I don’t miss being in…” She gestured at the mass of people bouncing and bobbing on the dance floor. “...that, but I like this better.”
“Like what better?”
“Being with you. Come on, Arty, you should know that!”
“I do. I just wanted to hear you say it.” He paused, and his smile dropped off. “What I’m still not sure of, is why.” Holly’s mirth dropped off sharply. She had been fearing this moment all night long.
“...because I love you.”
“But why ?”
Holly shrugged. “Why does anyone love anyone? It’s so easy to explain why you like someone, or hate someone, but love? Just because Cupid’s my granddad doesn’t make me an expert on that one.” She chuckled, but when he didn’t answer, she dragged her eyes off of her drink to notice that Artemis seemed to be in another world. So she tried giving him a more serious answer. “But if I had to guess, I’d say it’s at least a little bit because you’re a good man.”
Artemis frowned. “Being good?” Holly nodded. “Let’s be honest – I had quite a lot of incentive. I was a boy, you know, and you were – are – very striking. And fairy allies? Powerful indeed.”
Holly bit her cheek. This was a discussion they had had before. “You will say and do anything to avoid accepting that maybe, just maybe, you’re a good person. I have to admit, Arty, it’s getting very tiring to have this same conversation over and over, so why don’t we just cut to the chase and you tell me why you won’t accept that you’re a good man and that I love you?”
Artemis hadn’t been expecting her to be so straightforward about it. Maybe it was the liquor. “Very well. I can’t accept it because I don’t see it as true.”
Holly scoffed. “Of course you don’t, or we wouldn’t be talking about it.”
“How is it that you can look past all the evil I’ve done? Truly now. I certainly can’t.”
Holly shook her head, setting down her drink. Did she want to pour her heart out where all these people could hear? No. But for Artemis? She had done harder things. And, well, she had been more inhibited the other times, too. So she took a deep breath. This was going to be uncomfortable. “I know. That’s the problem. You can’t,” she snapped. “In your eyes, what you’ve done is unforgivable. You won’t move on.”
Artemis raised a hand as if to say 'stop'. “Now hold on–”
“But you haven’t seen the dregs of society the way I have.
“Artemis, I am a career police officer. I have spent longer than you’ve been alive patrolling this city’s streets in Traffic, watching people walk in and out of prison like it’s got a revolving door. All the while, they almost never change. They just walk out with a bit more muscle and some new tattoos. They do wrong, get punished for it, and walk back out just to do it all over again. You? You did wrong, got away with it, and changed anyway. Maybe that’s not worth much to you , but to me, it’s everything.”
Artemis seemed confused. “Is that supposed to be a compliment to me or an indictment of your penal system?”
Holly frowned. “Probably both,” she acquiesced. “But right now, think of the former. Understand that you are good, and that I value that. I value you. But you need to value yourself, too; it can’t just be me.”
Artemis was deep in thought, but was nodding slowly. “Let’s say I can accept your explanation as it concerns my morality. Even if we accept that I am good, your previous relationships have demonstrated that being good isn’t the whole reason. Or you’d still be with him.” He pointed at Trouble, who was still dancing his cares away with Lili, entirely unaware of the role he was playing in the conversation between Fowl and Short.
Now it was Holly’s turn to think carefully. And she thought long and hard, nursing her drink, searching for a real answer for him. Finally, it popped into her mind. “Why does it have to be some dramatic reason?” She smiled warmly, realising how comforting that thought was to her. “I love you because you fit into my life. I know you, deeply, intimately. And you know me. I can bare my heart to you –” She laughed, gesturing at the charity dance crowd. “Frond, I’m doing it right now. At the most inopportune possible time. But it boils down to this: I’ve seen you at your worst. You’ve seen me at mine. I love you, all of you. The good and the bad. You’re right for me, and that’s all I need, and it’s all I want.” She'd probably be reading about this on the way to work tomorrow. Drunken LEP Captain Rants About Love At Charity Dance.
“That’s it?” Artemis asked. He seemed…almost disappointed.
Holly nodded. “That’s it. I don’t need some grand epic spanning volumes to have a good reason to love you.” Then her lips came apart in a half-smile as the dots connected. “Wait – oh, Arty, please don’t tell me you thought love was supposed to play out like one of your Tsirblou novels!”
Artemis sputtered. “Those novels are highly acclaimed!”
“They sure are, because they’re wonderful love stories . Stories, Artemis. Operative word.” The tumbler found its way back to the bar’s counter, and Holly’s hand found its way to Artemis’s collarbones. “Like I said, I’m not an expert on matters of love and romance.” She hoped he’d appreciate that reference to ‘Tsirblou’s’ The Sergeant of Battersea, and brushed her left hand across his cheek. “But let me tell you something I do know.
“Love comes from intimacy. Intimacy comes from openness, honesty, and time. We aren’t characters in a story, Arty…” She smiled sheepishly, glanced sideways a little. “Even though it sometimes feels like we are. But those characters, when they fall in love, it’s because they were designed to fall in love with each other. They have fates, pre-ordained by the author, and they’re intertwined.”
Artemis nodded. “And as you’ve told me many times, you hate–”
“--the idea of fate,” they chorused. Holly smiled. “Exactly. I like to think we have some control over our lives, over who we are. Over who we could be. Do you really think I’d have seen the good in you otherwise? In Siberia?”
“Perhaps you were fated to do so,” Artemis suggested, and Holly punched him lightly. “I take your point.”
“Thank you. And besides, we’ve had plenty of exceptional, story-book adventures. I think something that’s just normal is the perfect antidote.” She paused, looked around at all the fairies dancing, then at Butler in the corner, expertly concealing his surveillance of the two of them. “Well, as normal as a romance between an elf and a human can be.”
Artemis was silent for a while. “You read my book?”
Holly grinned. “I’m never going to a coal power plant with you. It is not as romantic as you seem to think it would be. And you of all people should know that Battersea didn’t have a sergeant anymore by then.” Artemis laughed, and she softened. “Yes, of course I read it.”
Artemis smiled warmly, but not on that account. “I wish we had had this conversation a long time ago.”
“I didn’t have that answer in my head until about five minutes ago, though.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I know what you mean.” Holly paused. “This is the last time we’re going to go over this, right?”
“Probably not,” Artemis replied. “I hear you, and I believe you. But, like you said, this isn’t a book tale. I can’t change instantly.”
Holly nodded. “I’m only asking that you try.”
“I will.” Then he got a crafty smile. “I should mention one thing, though. By definition, this is a fairy tale, fairy.”
“Okay, Mud Boy,” Holly echoed, copying his emphasis. She weighed it up in her mind, decided it was worth a shot. “Want to dance?”