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“Have a nice day, ma’am.” Cas waved to the leaving customer.
Once glance around the small fresh market told Cas that aside from the man inspecting potatoes he was the only person in the store. With a small sigh Cas pulled out his phone to play a game until the potato customer was ready to check out. As his game loaded, Cas’s eyes wondered to the only customer who now seemed quite frustrated. Cas could just hear him cursing as he picked up another potato. He was just about to go over and offer some help when the customer shoved the potato down his pants and reached for another.
Cas rubbed his eyes, had he just seen that right? He watched as the man continued to shove potato after potato down his pants. Cas pulled his gaze away to check and see if anyone else had come into the store. He really should stop this guy. This guy was going to steal all those potatoes. But why was he stealing potatoes? Why not something that’s easier to eat, like apples?
Cas scratched his head as he kept watching the guy. He really should go over there and put an end to this, but the guy had already jammed about 27 potatoes down his pants and Cas really wanted to see how many he could fit. The guy wasn’t a very large man, standing only a little taller than Cas and with a regular sized frame. He had his jeans tucked into his boots and all the potatoes in his jeans were quite obvious. Cas sure hoped that the guy was wearing a belt, because all those potatoes were bound to be heavy enough to pull his pants down.
It wasn’t until the man had crammed 42 potatoes into his pants did he stop. He glanced over his shoulder and Cas hurried to act like he wasn’t watching the guy. When Cas thought the coast was clear he looked back at Potato Pants and saw him grab one of the grocery bags and place five potatoes into it before heading straight for Cas at his register.
Due to all the potatoes in his pants, the guy waddled a bit. Cas pretended not to notice, holding back his laugh as much as possible. Maybe he should inform the guy that he saw him stealing those potatoes, but honestly, Cas didn’t want to have to deal with theft, and it was really funny to watch the guy stick the potatoes down his pants.
“Is this all for you?” Cas asked as he took the bag of potatoes from Potato Pants.
“Uh, yeah.” The guy replied in a deep voice.
“That’ll be $2.72” Cas watched, amused, as Potato Pants struggled to pull his wallet out of his very full pants. When Cas gave the man back his change he gave tried to put his wallet back in his pants, but gave up after a few attempts.
“Have a nice day.” Cas called as Potato Pants waddled towards the front door.
The guy turned halfway around to wave at Cas, the potatoes in his pants jostling around, “You too—.”
Potato Pants tripped on the entrance rug and landed hard on his side. The sound of potatoes being smashed against skin wasn’t as loud as Cas would have thought, but Cas still couldn’t stop himself from bursting out laughing.
“Oh, God,” Cas said running over to help the guy up, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh, but I bet you’ll have quite a few bruises from those potatoes. I sure hope you don’t have anywhere to go right now.”
The guy gladly let Cas help him up, “You saw me putting the potatoes down my pants?”
Cas rolled his eyes, “Even if I hadn’t, it would have been pretty hard to miss them in your pants.” Cas watched as he shifted from foot to foot, rubbing at a sore spot on his leg and making a face when he felt the inside of a potato through his pants. “Why steal all those potatoes anyways?”
The guy looked at Cas and burst out laughing. “You probably think I was planning to eat all these, huh?”
Cas squinted his eyes, “Well, that is what people normally do with potatoes.”
“The truth is that my brother and I just got potato guns from a friend with a note that had fifteen bucks inside it and said too meet up at the park in a half hour. I figured I could steal a crap ton of potatoes, have a crazy amount ready to fire at other people and keep the change.” Potato Pants grinned at Cas as if that was the most brilliant thing in the world.
“You do realize you can buy about thirty pounds of potatoes with fifteen dollars, right?”
The guys grin slipped, “Yeah, I had no idea you could get so many potatoes for that much until my pants were half full.”
Cas bent down to pick up a potato that had escaped from the man’s pants. “Well, now you know.” He handed over the potato, “Have fun with your potato guns. You’ll want to get out of here before my manager gets back from his lunch.”
“You’re not going to make me pay for the potatoes?” The guys green eyes lit up.
Cas shook his head. “Just pay next time.”
“I will.” The guy promised. He held out his hand, “My name’s Dean.”
“Cas.”
“Well, Cas, you can bet that I will now buy lots of potatoes from your store.” With that Dean headed out with Cas watching him.
***
Two weeks later Cas was working the register when several bags of potatoes came down the belt. He looked up and smiled. “Hello, Dean.”