Chapter Text
Steve had never really believed in monsters. His parents had never been the types to entertain that kind of fantasy. They hadn’t played along with the idea of the tooth fairy or Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or the Boogie Man in his closet. As long as he could remember, if he’d mentioned such things, even as innocently as asking when Santa Claus was coming, they’d say, “Don’t be silly, Steven.”
When he’d have nightmares as a child or was scared of the dark or of the crooked branch casting a shadow on his bedroom wall from outside his window, he’d creep to his parents’ bedroom to tell them. And he couldn’t have been out of kindergarten the first time he remembered his father getting up from his bed, pushing Steve back a step or two, and closing the door as he said, “Goodnight, Steven.”
And Steve would go back to his room and he’d sit in his bed and he’d cling to his comforter, watching every corner of the room like it was watching him back. As he got older, he stopped believing in Boogie Men and Santa Claus.
But then one night, some twelve years later, he’d been knocking— maybe not so innocent this time— at Jonathan Byers’ door to apologize for being such an asshole. And then Nancy, his first real love he knew he’d lost, had answered Jonathan’s door and Steve knew he didn’t deserve their forgiveness.
But then they started acting crazy.
They were talking about killing monsters or stopping possessions or some shit like that. And that was too much for Steve.
He felt like his parents, trying to tell these two usually intelligent and level-headed people: “Don’t be silly, Nancy. Don’t be silly, Jonathan”. And then Nancy took it a step further and somewhere in her— what’d he’d thought at the time at least— trauma rattled mind, she believed she was protecting him, by POINTING A GODDAMN GUN IN HIS FACE.
And he left when she told him to, because fuck it, if the two of them wanted to believe in monsters, he wasn’t going to waste his time acting silly.
Until it was real.
Very suddenly, monsters were real.
He can’t quite remember now if he heard it first or saw it but that thing was heading directly for the Byers’ house. Heading right for Nancy and Jonathan.
And real or not, Steve was not going to let a monster touch them.
The memories of fighting off the Demo— whatever, with a bat came rushing back months later when Nancy’s brother and his friends had decided to fight it themselves. Steve had taken it upon himself to protect them too. Even if Nancy and Jonathan has already decided they were pairing off together again.
Months passed after that night and he didn’t see the Demowhatever again. Not really. But that didn’t mean he didn’t see it.
When he and Nancy had still been broken up in the weeks that followed, he’d wake up screaming, twisted in his sheets at visions of monsters coming for him. Coming for Nancy. For Jonathan. For all of them.
He’d calmed himself down as he won Nancy back and told himself he needed to be strong. For her.
And he did and he was and months passed and the nightmares still haunted him but when he held Nancy at least, he could keep them at bay. He could concentrate on protecting her. And all the fears went away.
When they’d broken up, he was alone again. And the fears and the visions came flooding back and he tried not to get lost in his sleep. But it didn’t matter. His parents weren’t around to tell him to stop being silly. To tell him “goodnight, Steven”.
He didn’t even know when they were home anymore.
Protecting the kids had given him a purpose again. Fighting to protect Nancy’s little brother and to save Jonathan’s little brother— it was a way to protect them. And himself. But that time came and went too.
When the monsters were dead or gone or who knows when the magic portal in the tunnels was closed, there was no monsters to protect them from. Not real ones.
But the nightmares kept coming back. And Steve had tried to ignore them or to distract from them. But he was so alone all the time with his parents out of the house, friends gone, kids gone, Nancy gone. He had no one. And when he had no one he started sleepwalking.
It was Jonathan who’d found him first.
It was late one Friday night and Jonathan was doing what he always did, overthinking if and when the Upside Down might come for his brother again and how he was going to protect him. But he knew he was just being paranoid. So he decided to take a drive, listening to his tapes until he got tired enough to go home and go to sleep. It was as he was coming down the highway near the nicer part of town that he caught a glimpse of what he assumed was a hitchhiker. He figured he’d do them a favor, and started slowing down when he saw it was Steve Harrington.
He was startled by the fact that Steve Harrington was walking alone and now getting a closer look, he saw, barefoot in a t-shirt and sweatpants. So startled, in fact, that he hit his brakes a lot harder than he meant to and the squeal of his old car stopping startled Steve.
Scratch that, ‘startled’ would be too mild a word for what it did. The sound sent Steve into an absolute panic.
He jolted and started whipping around, checking his blind spots with a terrified, hoarse yelp. He’d pulled the lighter from his pocket and had it flipped open and checking for— well, Jonathan couldn’t be sure what.
Jonathan got out of his car and rushed to Steve, grabbing him by the shoulders.
“Steve! STEVE!! It’s me!! It’s Jonathan!” Jonathan searched for Steve’s eyes but they were darting back and forth wildly, like he could see something but it wasn’t anything Jonathan was seeing.
Finally, Steve’s eyes landed on Jonathan and he seemed to slow down a little. He stared at him for a long moment and croaked,
“B—Byers?”
Jonathan nodded, not looking away as he saw recognition fill Steve’s eyes. And consciousness returned to Steve, he looked down and saw his own bare feet, scraped and sore from walking however far on the pavement. He held his arms and he realized how cold the January night was. Jonathan finally realized that too.
“Jesus, Steve, you’re gonna freeze to death, let me drive you home—“
“NO!!” Steve yelled suddenly, ripping his trembling arms back from Jonathan, “I mean… no, no, it’s cool I uh… I’m good.”
Jonathan stared and saw an unnatural fear in Steve’s eyes. A fear he recognized.
“Is it your parents?”
Steve didn’t say anything for a moment and then said, “No. No, what do you mean, no, it’s uh… no, they’re not even home, it’s not anything like…”
Jonathan watched Steve search for words and then felt the cold himself again and took Steve’s shoulders again.
“Well Jesus man, get in my car, it’s gotta be like twenty degrees out right now. Here, I’ll take you uh…”
The recognition in Steve’s eyes was fading. He looked blank faced and the cold was clearly getting to him.
Jonathan took Steve around the passenger’s side door and sat him inside. He wasn’t responding to anything anymore.
“Steve?”
He didn’t say anything and there was a concerning sheen over his pale face.
“Just— just hold on, Steve.”
Nancy sat straight up in bed, hearing a loud tap on her window.
She whipped back to look and what she saw now was another small rock hit her window again.
She got out of bed and went to the window and saw Jonathan’s car parked outside her house, with Jonathan standing out on her lawn. He’d snuck over before, but not usually this late and not usually without telling her.
She pushed her window open and called out as quietly as she could, “Jonathan, what’re you doing here?”
Jonathan gestured back towards his car where she saw Steve, passed out in the passenger’s seat against the window.
“It’s Steve.”