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“Are you excited about baking today?” asked Nick. “Yeah. I mean I’m not really a kitchen person.” Charlie tried to laugh it off, a bit sadly, but quickly cheered up “But a tres leches sounds fun. Plus, I’m only doing practice with you today. When I make it for dad on his birthday, he’ll be extra happy that I made his childhood favorite dish.” “That’d be so cool, Char. Come on then, I could use a break from losing to you on Mario cart.” Nick threw the controller behind him, stood up, and offered a hand to Charlie.
Charlie blushed at the nickname and the prospect of holding hands. In a split second, he reprimanded himself for romanticizing these simple gestures. It’s not the first time Nick has called him Char and best friends call each other pet names all the time, it’s not a big deal. Plus, Nick has always been tactile, giving the best hugs, swinging his arms around Charlie’s shoulder whenever they are walking home from school, and picking up Charlie after he scores in Rugby practice. He convinced his brain, his heart actually, that he has to keep his embarrassing crush on Nick in control so he does not ruin this beautiful friendship they have. He abandoned his controller and sprang up from the bed, taking Nick’s hand. “No amount of baking lessons can make me give you a slack in Mario cart, Nelson” smirked Charlie, going down the stairs. “Rrrrude, no respect for your tutor! Shame on you, Charles” Nick pulled a mock disappointed face.
They went to the kitchen to find Sarah thawing chicken for making dinner later. “Hi mum”, Nick let go of Charlie’s hand to give Sarah a hug from behind. “Hello boys,” said Sarah without looking back, “Charlie dear, are you staying for dinner?” “Yes mum, is that okay? We’re gonna bake a tres leches now and can have it after dinner once it’s chilled?” Nick answered for him. “Yeah, is that okay, Sarah?”, Charlie added, to feel he is not imposing on her every weekend. “Of course dear, you’re always welcome here. I’m excited to try your cake. Have fun.” smiled Sarah, drying her hand and looking at them.
She started to leave the kitchen and turned around. “Nicky, do you have everything you need to make the cake?” “Yeah, eggs, flour, sugar, condensed milk, oops!” Nick seemed disturbed. “How could I miss it, I’ve seen the video a hundred times to make sure Charlie gets the perfect cake!! Ugghh”, Nick let out his frustration. “Umm what do we not have?” asked Charlie, trying hard not to focus on Nick trying to get him a perfect cake. “We need a can of evaporated milk, for the syrup. I’ll quickly go and get it from the corner shop.” “Can’t you just use plain milk for that?” Sarah asked. “Not really, it won’t taste the same, they have different purposes.” “Okay, do what you need to do for the perfect cake” smiled Sarah. Charlie almost died at this. But Nick didn’t seem to notice the smile and playfulness in her voice.
“Yeah, I’ll be back in a minute”, Nick gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled and moved to sit in the living room. Nick started walking toward the door. “Wait Nick”, Charlie followed him, “Should I come with you?” asked Charlie. Nick grabbed his jacket, “Nah Char, it’s cold outside, and I’ll be back soon. You stay here and get the prep bowls and measurement cups out, yeah?” “Yeah.” smiled Charlie. He was happy to see how comfortable Nick was about Charlie moving around their kitchen on his own. Nick opened the door with one hand and leaned in as if in reflex, to give charlie a peck on his cheek.
The realization hit when he pulled back. For a few seconds, they both stood there, staring at each other. Charlie wasn’t sure if it was the cold air coming through the door or the kiss planted on his cheek or Nick’s eyes seeing through his soul that is making him shiver. But he is also getting confused as a strange feeling of warmth settles over his heart and his whole body. And Nick has an unreadable expression on his face, a combination of surprise and something else. Is he gonna laugh it away? “Char, I’m sor-” “No, I-” They both spoke almost at the same time, both looking down at the floor now, their voices small. “You go first”, Nick said. Charlie found his voice from a faraway dreamland and shyly whispered “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” Still not looking at Nick and hoping he had magical powers to disappear.
Shit. Why did I say that? What’s he gonna think? At least I didn’t say I liked it.
Panic started to settle in his mind. Before he could spiral, Charlie slowly looked up. He had done this exercise many times. “Often we read people and situations differently and catastrophize by projecting our own expectations and fears on them. Sometimes, just looking at the person helps to reassure ourselves that they’re not thinking the way we think they are.” Geoff had said.
Geoff was right. Nick wasn’t mad. Nick’s eyes were wide as he cleared his voice “Oh, um, good, then.” Good? “Yeah, you should” Charlie gestured toward the door. “Yeah, I’ll just-, bye.” Nick left, hopping the steps and jogging out the street. An awestruck Charlie remained on the doorstep, smiling while closing the door slowly. Good. He repeated the word in his head with the image of the kiss replaying in his mind.
I guess I’ll not learn any baking today then.