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“That bastard,” Chuuya seethed. His palms balled into fists at his side while a fire burned deep inside his lungs.
Mori’s gaze settled calmly on Chuuya. “I understand that your relationship with Dazai is complicated. The Armed Detective Agency will be arranging a funeral. If you want to attend, our differences with the Agency will be put aside.”
“No,” Chuuya said, the word frosted over with ice, despite the rising temperature of his body. “I should have killed him. It should have been me.”
Mori nodded, though it was neither an agreement nor a disagreement. “I’m granting you the rest of the day off, in light of this news.”
Chuuya scoffed. “I have business to take care of. I don’t need to take the day off just because that suicidal maniac finally killed himself.”
“I must insist,” Mori said. He left no room for argument. “Drink a bottle of wine in celebration, if you’d like.”
Chuuya scowled. Leave it to Dazai to screw with his day even in the afterlife.
⚘⚘⚘
According to the report Mori had provided him, Dazai was pronounced dead at 1:47 in the afternoon after being found floating in the river by Doppo Kunikida, a fellow member of the Armed Detective Agency.
Chuuya glowered at the paper like it was Dazai himself, reading and re-reading the words in front of him until his head hurt.
“Idiot Dazai,” Chuuya mumbled to himself. “Can’t kill me if you’re dead…”
Death was a subject that followed Dazai wherever he went, but to think that it could actually touch him? A wave of goosebumps swept through Chuuya’s body. Screw the report. There was no way in hell that dumbass had finally succeeded in killing himself. He’d played dead once before—what was stopping him from doing it again?
A newfound anger coursed through him. How dare Dazai think he could fool Chuuya? This time, he knew better, and it was with that confidence that Chuuya stormed into the Detective Agency, all but tearing the door off its hinges in announcing his arrival.
“Where is he?!” Chuuya demanded, the Agency's grief-stricken faces meeting him with confusion. “I know Dazai’s not dead, so where are you hiding him?”
Atsushi looked like he had spent the last two hours crying. Even Kunikida, who appeared to be the most reasonable of the group, seemed weighed down with sadness. Maybe Dazai had fooled them too? Or perhaps they were just good actors.
Finally, Kunikida let out a long, tired breath. Something about it sent a chill through Chuuya. “I know there was a time when you and Dazai were partners. For that reason, we will excuse your blatant disrespect to our Agency. I understand that a world without Dazai is an unimaginable place. Like you, I wished for Dazai’s death more times than I can count. I will live with that guilt, as will you. Pretending he is alive will not make the pain of his loss easier to bear.” Kunikida lifted a finger to his glasses and pushed the frames up his nose. “I found Dazai’s body. I assure you, he is dead.”
Kunikida’s words were sharp, impaling him with a truth that Chuuya didn’t know how to accept. “I want to see his body.”
⚘⚘⚘
Dazai’s lifeless body lay in front of him. Chuuya stood just as still. The world caved in around him. The room felt impossibly small. Dazai was dead.
Chuuya’s body began to shake. Dazai wasn’t dead. This was all some elaborate prank. Dazai was waiting for him to shed a tear so he could jump up and laugh in Chuuya’s face. He scoffed. As if he would cry in front of Dazai’s dead body. Better luck next time, idiot!
Chuuya extended his hand, reaching out to graze a finger. He could feel For The Tainted Sorrow . Even Dazai didn’t have the power to nullify his own ability. If Chuuya could access his skill and touch Dazai at the same time, Dazai was really dead.
There was no running from the truth that lay in front of him.
⚘⚘⚘
Chuuya went home, downed a bottle of wine, and fell asleep on the couch.
When he woke up in the morning, he had somehow made it to his bed.
⚘⚘⚘
“Chuuya,” Mori greeted solemnly. “Please take a seat. I have some news to share with you.”
Chuuya strode across the room in a daze. What else could Mori possibly have to tell him? That Dazai was alive after all?
“I’ll get right to it,” Mori said as Chuuya planted himself in the chair across from the mafia boss. “Dazai is dead.” The words rang in Chuuya’s ears. “He died this afternoon.” What the hell kind of game was Mori playing? “His body was found in the river.”
“...”
“I understand that your relationship with Dazai is complicated,” Mori carried on. “The Armed Detective Agency will be arranging a funeral. If you want to attend, our differences with the Agency will be put aside.”
Chuuya met him once again with silence. Mori folded his hands and waited for a reaction. Finally, Chuuya managed to utter a simple, “Okay.”
Mori raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”
Chuuya nodded slowly. “Okay,” he repeated.
Mori pursed his lips thoughtfully. Chuuya asked, “Can I take the rest of the day off?”
“Of course,” Mori said. Chuuya didn’t miss the sliver of surprise that flashed across his face.
⚘⚘⚘
“Ch-Chuuya?!” Atsushi squawked, the sadness in his eyes temporarily replaced with surprise. His face was stained with tears.
“I need to talk to you,” Chuuya said.
Atsushi’s eyes widened and his features softened. “Are you here because….because….”
“Because Dazai’s dead,” Chuuya finished, saving him from having to choke out the words. “Yeah.”
The sadness returned to Atsushi. It was a weight Chuuya wasn’t here to carry. He focused on everything but Atsushi’s face as he explained his situation. “I don’t know how the hell it’s happening, but I’m living the same day over again.”
“U-Um,” Atsushi blinked at him in confusion. “No offense but, why are you telling me this? Why not…” he scratched his head awkwardly. “Someone in the mafia?”
“I need your help,” Chuuya said simply.
Atsushi’s lips parted in surprise. “Isn’t there someone better suited…?”
“Dazai thought highly of you. That has to count for something, doesn’t it?”
Atsushi’s eyes grew so big that Chuuya was worried they might pop right out of his head. Fortunately, they remained in place, a stray tear rolling down Atsushi’s cheek. Chuuya couldn’t help but look away.
He hadn’t shed a single tear since learning of Dazai’s death. Why would he? Dazai was a nuisance and a traitor. They may have been colleagues, but they’d never been friends. And even if they had been…to be a part of the mafia meant accepting loss. There was no way around that. Chuuya knew that firsthand.
“How can I help?” Atsushi asked, snapping Chuuya back to the issue at hand.
“Use your resources at the Agency to see if there have been any cases similar to mine. I’ll see what I can find out and we can meet up again tonight before the day starts over again.”
Atsushi nodded. “Okay. I’ll do my best.” Atsushi paused before meeting Chuuya’s eye, his gaze soft. “I’m sorry for your lost.”
Chuuya scowled before forcing a strained smile. “Don’t be sorry quite yet.”
⚘⚘⚘
After a day of research and coming up with nothing, Chuuya welcomed Atsushi into his apartment with the hope that he’d been more successful.
As it turned out, Dazai was right to count on him after all.
“I found one other case like yours,” Atsushi said, setting a folder on the table between them. “It’s an ability, and It looks like…if you want time to go back to normal, you either have to kill Dazai or the ability user.”
The scowl that had been plastered to Chuuya’s face for the past few hours grew deeper as he picked up the folder and went through the information Atsushi had found.
“There’s something else,” Atsushi said as Chuuya began scanning the first page. “In the case I found, the person began repeating the same day after their boyfriend died. There’s a journal entry written by the girl who experienced what’s happening to you. It’s on the last page.”
Chuuya skipped quickly to the last page, his heart suddenly beating faster, trying to take in the information in front of him.
After 376 days of repeating the day of your death, I found the ability user who did this to me. I demanded that he make it stop. He told me that if I wanted my life to go back to normal, I would have to either kill him, or I would have to kill you.
Chuuya looked up. “That’s the only one?”
Atsushi nodded. “I couldn’t find anything else. And since this is happening to you, we can probably assume she didn’t kill the ability user.”
Chuuya avoided Atsushi’s gaze, his eyes glued to the papers. “Can I keep these?”
“Yeah, of course.” A pause. “I’m not going to remember any of this tomorrow, am I?”
Chuuya shook his head. An extended silence passed between them before Atsushi spoke again. “I don’t know what your relationship with Dazai was like, but I know he trusted you. I hope you don’t mind if I put my trust in you, too.”
⚘⚘⚘
Chuuya knew where Dazai’s body was found, but he had no idea where the idiot had gone about tossing himself in the river. He decided to start near the Detective Agency and work his way down, eyes peeled on the water as he walked, grumbling to himself about stupid Dazai as he went.
Chuuya had gone over the papers Atsushi had given him until the clock struck midnight, thrusting him back into the day of Dazai’s suicide. He needed to find out more information on the ability user who did this to him, but first, he needed to find Dazai. Stupid, stupid Dazai.
Chuuya was imagining all the ways he could kill Dazai when his eyes landed on a body and Dazai’s unmistakable tan coat.
Something vile settled in Chuuya’s chest. He approached the body slowly, his face expressionless as he looked down at Dazai’s lifeless form. He spent a good minute frozen in place, anger flaring inside him, only moving when the sound of Kunikida’s voice reached him.
Chuuya spared one last look at Dazai before he retreated, his heart an uneven beat, heavy in his chest.
⚘⚘⚘
After spending the entirety of the previous night collecting information on the mysterious ability user, when Chuuya woke up to repeat the day of shitty Dazai’s suicide yet again, he knew exactly where to find him.
And that was how he found himself on the roof of an apartment complex, dangling an ability user over the edge.
Despite having his life on the line, the ability user seemed unbothered by the situation he had landed himself in.
“It’s a pretty useless skill, don’t you think?”
Chuuya scowled. He was five seconds from dropping the ability user to his death when his next words caused Chuuya to freeze.
“The ability to make anyone I touch relive the day of their true love’s death…what good does a skill like that do for me?”
Chuuya stopped breathing.
“I can’t even control it, you know. I don’t remember touching you. We must have brushed past each other one day. That’s all it takes.” There was a long pause. “The person you love, have they died yet today?”
“I don’t love him,” Chuuya spat.
“I see,” the ability user remarked. The way he said it pissed Chuuya off. “I won’t waste your time trying to argue with you. Has he died yet today?”
“No,” Chuuya said, unsure why he was entertaining this conversation.
“Then it’s not too late to save him. Once activated, there are two ways to put an end to my ability. You either have to kill me, or you have to kill the person you love. Or in your case, you have to kill the person you supposedly don’t love.” He chuckled to himself, and Chuuya had half the mind to drop him before he could finish talking.
“Since he hasn’t died yet, if you kill me and save him, when you wake up tomorrow, he’ll be alive, and it’ll be a new day.”
The plan was always to kill the ability user, but Chuuya hated being told what to do, especially by someone that wanted him to believe he was in love with Dazai.
Hell, he’d go kill Dazai and end this stupid loop just to prove him wrong!
“Just kill me,” the ability user said, interrupting Chuuya from imagining a world without Dazai.
“You sound just like him,” Chuuya said. The stare being directed at him was unsettling. Those weren’t the eyes of someone that was lying.
And if he wasn’t lying—
Chuuya released the leg in his grasp as the realization slammed into him.
He was in love with Dazai.
⚘⚘⚘
Chuuya found Dazai floating in the river, all of his body but his legs submerged. For a moment, he was relieved. If Dazai was already dead, Chuuya wouldn’t have to deal with what it meant to love him.
Despite that relief, Chuuya found himself diving into the water, wrapping Dazai in his arms and using his ability to easily bring them to shore. Within seconds, Dazai was choking up river water.
Disappointment flooded Chuuya. He was met with Dazai’s grating voice whining about being saved.
Chuuya kicked him. “Shut the hell up, Dazai.”
Dazai’s entire demeanor changed. A smirk climbed onto his face. “Chuuya must not hate me if he saved my life.”
“I saved you because I hate you,” Chuuya said with a glare. “The only thing better than a world without you is a world where I get to see you suffer.”
Loving Dazai wasn’t going to stop Chuuya from hating him.