Archive of Our Own ^beta

It’s a senpai thing. That was what he told Hinata when the frustrating ginger had made a comment on the way he acted around Daichi-san. Tobio had always had a strange relationship with his upperclassmen. 

In Kitaichii there had been Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san. His relationship with the former had always been strained, and after a certain point, nearly hostile. He’d looked up to Oikawa from the moment he first saw him setting and all he’d wanted was to learn from him. In hindsight—always 20/20 as his mother liked to say—he could see that the way he’d gone about fulfilling that desire hadn’t exactly been the right one. Needling at Oikawa day in and day out had only served to make the older student dislike him even more than he already did. He hadn’t realised at the time that Oikawa’s insecurities had played a major roll in the way he’d treated Tobio; Kunimi had explained it after that year’s volleyball season had ended and the third years were busy preparing for high school and were therefore not around as much.

But Iwaizumi-san had been different. He just was. Even at fourteen he’d been mature and level-headed, if not a little gruff. He was kind and supportive and helpful, and he always had an ear ready for if any of his kouhai wanted to speak to him about anything. He was a warm, solid presence during practice, and a vital source of encouragement and stability on the court. He was a safe space. At least, Tobio had considered him a safe space. Even with the way he’d let more of Oikawa’s antagonistic behaviour slide than Tobio would have liked. Still, Iwaizumi had been his favourite, and if Tobio was being honest he still was. Kunimi had made fun of him and Kindaichi once for being starry-eyed and mooning over the spiky-haired boy. Tobio hadn’t understood what he’d meant, but he also hadn’t really cared. Iwaizumi-san was Iwaizumi-san which meant he was unwavering and determined to see things through to the end. Tobio had looked up to him. And even though it had been two years since he’d spoken to him, he was pretty sure the older boy was still his model for a good person. 

His upperclassmen in second year didn’t even merit a thought.

So, in the end, it really wasn’t so strange that he behaved a little differently with Daichi-san than he did with Suga-san, or Tanaka-san. The second year was just weird and very loud, but Tobio liked him well enough. He was dedicated to the sport and gave his all all the time. Tobio appreciated people like that. Suga-san was… more complicated. An older setter in his third year, Tobio’s hated status as a genius opening up the potential for him to take Suga’s spot as starter. It was like Oikawa-san all over again.

He didn’t want Suga-san to hate him the way Oikawa did. The third year was so nice and he’d taken the time to help him and Hinata practice for the three-on-three match against the other first years. He was afraid of taking the starter position. He was afraid of Suga’s reaction, of Daichi-san’s reaction as his friend, of the second years disliking him for toppling their beloved senpai from his perch as official setter. There were a lot of things that could go wrong, and Tobio really liked this team. The year had only just started, but already it was so different from how middle school had been. The team laughed with him, not at him (except for Tsukishima, the dick). They saw his flaws and his bad attitude and still wanted to play volleyball with him. He didn’t want anything to change that. 

But Daichi… Daichi-san was different. Tobio couldn’t really say why, he just was. It wasn’t really in the same way that Iwaizumi-san had been different. Daichi-san was in a category of his own, one Tobio didn’t have a name for. Daichi was their captain, and their coach. He supported them and cheered for them and tried to help however he could, even though he didn’t have all the answers. On the court he was the foundation the rest of the team stood on. Without Daichi-san the team would crumble into dust. Without a libero, Daichi was the next best at receives. He had their backs both on and off the court. 

And he was just… solid. As a human being. His presence was big enough to fill a room but not be stifling (although he agreed with Tanaka-san that he was scary when angry). There was a warmth in his smile and comfort in the way he laughed from the tips of his toes. He could be intimidating and crafty and a little mischievous. And he was was strong. Tobio’s hands weren’t small, his palms were on the broader side and his fingers were long and skinny. But he didn’t think even if he wrapped both of his hands around one of Daichi’s biceps his fingers would meet. And his legs were… good for volleyball. Very solid. Good support.

Anyway, the point was, Daichi-san was just different. No two ways about it. 

Secretly, Tobio thought the third year was starting to replace Iwaizumi-san as his favourite senpai. He just… he knew he could go to Daichi if he ever needed anything. Even if it was just five minutes to close his eyes away from the stress of school and noisy teammates and the feeling that sometimes playing volleyball was just too much. Daichi-san would sit with him quietly, or he’d talk about some mundane topic just to distract him. It was nice. 

Daichi-san was a good captain.

He really didn’t understand what Hinata’s deal was. He knew he also really liked Daichi-san, especially since he stopped to buy the team meat buns after practice quite often. But when Tobio had pointed that out, all Hinata had done was roll his eyes dramatically and punch him in the arm.

“I don’t like him like that! Not like you do,” he’d said.

Tobio was confused. Like that? What did that mean? Hinata, frustrating pain the ass that he was, refused to explain when Tobio asked him to elaborate. 

“You’ll figure it out. Even you aren’t that dense.”

The conversation had been on his mind for a few days. He still couldn’t figure out what Hinata had meant when he said he liked Daichi-san in a different way to Tobio. It was annoying. 

It was almost getting in the way of practice. His serve was a little off, he could feel it. He wasn’t paying as much attention as he should have been when he sent a toss Tanaka’s way. The other second years edged around him and he’d heard more than one whispered comment about the heavy scowl on his face. Suga-san kept shooting him these looks, but he hadn’t tried to talk to him so far. He was frustrated that he couldn’t figure it out and he was frustrated that he was frustrated. 

The door to the gym slid open with a sharp grating of metal. 

“Sorry I’m late everyone.”

Tobio looked over at the sound of Daichi’s voice. The third year was in the middle of switching his shoes, one hand braced on the door as the other pulled the back of his shoe up his heel. He shot the team a smile and made his way over to an empty corner of the gym to start warming up. Tobio turned back around and restarted his pre-serve process.

“Oh.” He heard Suga-san mutter. 

He was blinking at Tobio when he glanced over. Tobio didn’t know why he looked like that, all round eyes and raised eyebrows. He tossed the ball up and took a running start, propelling himself into a graceful jump. As he swung his arm forward he could feel it. This was the one. His hand connected with the ball and he watched it rip across the net, hitting the opposite side of the court exactly where he’d aimed. He nodded to himself, satisfied, back on track. 

“So that’s what it takes to make the king relax.”

Tobio’s mood soured at the mocking lilt to Tsukishima’s voice. He hated when the blond called him king. And what the hell was he talking about? Tobio shook his head and resolved to ignore it, like he did with most things when it came to that particular headache of a teammate. Daichi-san finished his warm up and they started practice in earnest. 

***

The following day, Takeda-sensei rushed into the gym all excited. Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at the out of breath teacher. Tobio was slightly unnerved by the smile stretching his mouth wide enough to see all his teeth despite the fact that he’d tripped through the doorway and landed hard on his knees. 

“We have a practice match!”

The team jolted back to life, swarming the man and chattering at him loudly. 

“Who would want a practice match with us?” Ennoshita asked.

“One of the top eight schools in the prefecture. Aoba Johsai high school,” Takeda said proudly.

Tobio’s blood ran cold. He swallowed hard around a lump forming in his throat. His fingers twitched; he had a bad feeling about this. His teammates turned to each other and started gossiping excitedly with one another. Tobio wished he could be excited with them. Instead, he just felt sick. What could Seijoh want with them? Karasuno wasn’t a powerhouse school anymore. They hadn’t made it beyond at most the second round at a tournament in years. There had to be some kind of catch. Karasuno wouldn’t be any sort of learning experience for them, not with the state they were in right now, without an ace or a libero or a coach. And Oikawa was on their team. There had to be some kind of hidden motive here. There couldn’t not be. What was the catch? What were they trying to do?

“There is one condition, however.”

Ah, here it comes. Tobio knew it couldn’t be that simple.

“Kageyama has to play setter for the entire match.”

His heart stopped. No. Oikawa wouldn’t be that cruel. He wouldn’t sabotage Tobio's team before he even got the chance to be a team with them. 

…Right?

His eyes found Suga’s across the circle of teenage boys. The third year was standing between Daichi-san and Kinoshita. He had a frown on his face, but Tobio couldn’t figure out the rest of his expression. Panic made it a little hard to breathe. Suga was going to hate him. He knew it. He was going to get angry that Tobio had been given his spot and he was going to hate him. He didn’t want Suga to hate him. Karasuno couldn’t turn out like middle school. It couldn’t. This was supposed to be Tobio’s fresh start. His second chance. He’d been trying so hard since the beginning of the semester, so hard. Did Oikawa really hate him that much?

He went through the rest of practice on autopilot. He avoided the other setter as much as he could. 

The team stopped for meat buns after practice. He stayed toward the back of the group and watched his feet as he walked. Tobio clenched and unclenched his hands where he’d stuffed them into the pockets of his team jacket. When they were alone, the rest of the team following Daichi inside, he stopped Suga before he could enter the store. He bowed.

“Next time, I’ll earn it. I promise,” he said. 

“What?”

Tobio stood back up. “The position of starting setter. I’ll earn it.”

Suga looked at him for a moment, his expression a little shuttered, before he smiled wide and bright. “That’s good to hear. I won’t lose to you Kageyama.”

The words were said warmly. Tobio couldn’t hear any underlying malice or ill intent. The tight knot of worry and fear in his chest let go a little bit as Suga moved the conversation along. 

After getting their meat buns, the team started to break off and head home. A wide palm on his shoulder stopped him from walking too far.

“Hey Kageyama, hang back for a minute?” Daichi said.

Tobio swallowed the food in his mouth and took another bite so he wouldn’t have to talk. He tensed a little as he wondered what Daichi could want to talk to him about. He waited until the rest of the team was out of sight before coming to stand directly in front of Tobio. It made him a little nervous. Was he upset that Suga wouldn’t be setting for him during the practice match? Daichi’s hand squeezed his shoulder; Tobio had forgotten it was there. Daichi stared him in the eye.

“Are you comfortable with this? The practice match,” he asked.

Tobio blinked, not expecting the question, not sure what to say. The answer was a resounding no. But he wouldn’t cheat his team out of an opportunity to practice with a top eight school just because he had some bad memories with members of its club.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Daichi continued. “We can talk to Takeda and get him to tell them we changed our minds.”

“Why?” He asked. 

“Aoba Johsai, that’s usually where kids from Kitagawa go, right? So, your old teammates will be there.”

“But… why does it matter?”

He didn’t understand. Why did Daichi care? And why did he care enough to offer to pull out of the match just for his sake? Tobio watched Daichi’s expression change. It was a little bit angry, a little bit disappointed, and a lot sad. Sadness didn’t look right on Daichi’s face. 

“It matters because we’re a team. If something doesn’t work for all of us, then it’s not worth doing at all. If this practice match makes you uncomfortable, then no one is going to force you to do it. You can say no. I saw that game last year.”

Tobio tensed. He ducked his head as shame set his face on fire. Tsukishima already knew too much about that day. He’d hoped no one else on the team had been there or had heard about it. But Daichi had been there? He’d seen it all? Seen Kindaichi and Kunimi turn their backs on him, seen the team refuse to play with him, seen the coach bench him for the rest of the game, seen them lose. Seen Tobio’s greatest failure. 

He curled in on himself as he waited for the verbal dressing down he was due for treating his team the way he had. Daichi’s free hand settled on his other shoulder. He squeezed and tugged a little like he was trying to get Tobio to uncurl. 

“Hey.” His voice was soft but firm. Tobio looked up and met his eyes reluctantly. “We’re not them, Kageyama. We’re with you, one hundred percent. I want you to know you can speak your mind with us. Just, maybe with a little less yelling. Tanaka and Hinata are loud enough for all of us.”

That made Tobio snort.

“Do you want to go through with it?” Daichi asked again. 

“I think—” he cut himself off, the thought of speaking his mind, being asked for his thoughts, a little strange. “I think I should try.”

“Okay.”

He was smiling at Tobio now, something proud in the way his mouth curved. His hands slid off his shoulders. As Daichi started making his own way home, Tobio took a few rushed steps to bridge the gap between them and snagged a hand in the bottom of his jacket. 

“Daichi-san!” He winced as his voice came out louder than he’d wanted it to. “Th—thank you.”

“Anytime, Kageyama.”

***

As Tuesday crawled closer and closer, Tobio’s nerves worked themselves into a tight knot in the centre of his gut. He choked down yoghurt drinks for lunch, the water he drank during practice settled a little funny. He’d told Daichi-san that he wanted to try and get through the practice match, and he felt he owed it to the team. They’d all been working so hard, they deserved the chance to practice with an elite school.

So, despite the discomfort and nervousness churning in his stomach, Tobio threw everything he had into practice. 

They discussed strategies and tried to come up with a game plan. Tobio gave a few pointers on some of his former teammates and it was decided that Hinata would be a decoy. Their greatest weapon for this match. A weird jolt had gone down his spine at the matching expressions on Suga and Daichi’s faces when they talked about using his and Hinata’s quick for the first time. The two third years were a little scary when they operated on the same wavelength like that. 

The day of the practice match Tobio was quiet as he entered the bus with the rest of the team. He took a seat in the back with Hinata and Tanaka. While they drove across the city he kept shooting glances Hinata’s way. He was unnaturally pale. Tanaka tried to talk some of the ginger’s nerves out of him, but Tobio didn’t think it worked all that well. 

“I don’t feel well,” Hinata groaned. 

He clutched his stomach, his complexion going suddenly green and Tobio knew what was about to happen seconds before it did. He pushed himself as far away from Hinata as he could just as the boy lost his lunch, throwing up all over Tanaka’s lap. The smell was rancid. Tanaka peeled his track bottoms off as Hinata tried to apologise for puking on him. The whole fiasco made the rest of the drive to Aoba Johsai pass by much too quickly. 

As soon as he stepped off the bus he buried his hands in his pockets and his face in the collar of his jacket. He looked at the school with a detached sort of curiosity. The school was huge, the greenery well kept, the grounds pristine. The place reeked of money. And to think, had things turned out differently, he would have gone to school here. He would have learned his way around the halls, maybe made friends, played volleyball in the gym they were trying to locate. Thinking about what if’s made him feel weird. 

He followed Tanaka, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi around a corner as the second year tried to lead them to the gym even though Tobio was certain he didn’t know where he was going. The four of them stopped when they came across two boys dressed in turquoise and white. Tanaka pulled his ‘intimidation face’ at them.

Tobio watched with an impassive expression as the Seijoh students—members of their volleyball club—clammed up at the sight of them. Internally his heart was racing as he looked at his old friend. Kindaichi looked the same. His hair was the same pointy up-do, he was maybe a few centimetres taller than the last time Tobio had seen him. 

Tanaka’s attempt at intimidation was interrupted as Daichi-san came skidding around the corner. He grabbed Tanaka by the scruff and forced him down into a ninety degree bow, apologising for his behaviour. Tobio and his fellow first years followed after their captain, leaving Kindaichi and his teammate behind. Tobio caught the boy’s eye before quickly looking away. 

Hinata made off for the bathrooms as soon as the team reached the gym and Tobio sighed mentally. The shorty was going to be shit today. He just knew it. He was too nervous. As he dropped his bag and shrugged out of his jacket he cast his eyes around the gym. His gaze landed on Kunimi and he kept it moving, not wanting to see what look might be on his face. 

He met eyes with Iwaizumi-san. He was too far to see what expression he wore, but his posture was relaxed, so Tobio didn’t think he was totally against his team being there. He couldn’t find Oikawa-san.

As he started his warmup stretches he saw Daichi plunk down beside him out of the corner of his eye to start his own stretches. 

“You still doing okay?” The third year asked quietly. 

Tobio gnawed on his lip before nodding. He was still nervous, but he would be able to play just fine. Daichi came out of his stretch with a grin. Suddenly his hand was in Tobio’s hair. He scrunched up a little at the unfamiliar touch but relaxed almost just as quickly. Daichi’s palm was broad and warm and his fingers felt nice as they ruffled his hair. He pulled away and Tobio was left feeling a little bereft. No one had touched his hair like that since before his grandfather had passed away. 

A smile was trying to tug its way across his lips and he hid it by reaching forward to touch his toes. 

When the game got underway, it went about as well as he was expecting. Actually it was going a little better considering Hinata was a FUCKING MESS! He was jumping for balls that weren’t his, trying—and utterly failing—to receive the other team’s spikes. It was embarrassing, and even more, it was frustrating. He knew Hinata could play better than he was. The ginger didn’t have many technical skills, but even back in their third year of middle school, before he’d had upperclassmen to give him pointers, he hadn’t been this bad. And then he served the ball. Directly into the back of Tobio’s head. 

He kept his eyes shut tight as he breathed through the pain in his head, a bright flare of light blotting out his vision for a moment when the ball made contact. He stumbled forward into the net, tangling his fingers in it to regain his balance. He ignored Tanaka and Tsukishima giggling behind him.

“Kageyama?”

Iwaizumi’s soft voice surprised him momentarily, more so the concern behind his tone. He ignored it though, the last thread of his tenuous patience finally snapping. He turned slowly, thunder in his eyes and stalked toward Hinata. It felt almost like an out of body experience when he started smacking the back of his head, pain pulsing behind his eyes with every strike, and yelling at the boy to get his shit together. They managed to close out the set. They huddled around Takeda with their water bottles, discussing their play so far and what they could do better to try and win the game. The second set began and they managed to fight their way to 24 points.

It was then that Oikawa showed up.

`   `   `

He entered the gym with a smile on his face and an all clear to his coach. He ignored Iwa-chan’s grumbling about him being late and checked the scoreboard casually. His smile tightened when he saw that Karasuno was at match point. What the hell had his team been doing while he was out? No matter. They’d turn it around. He joined Iwa-chan, Makki and Mattsun’s little circle after a brief warm up. 

“You’re going to burn a whole through his shirt if you keep staring at him like that,” Mattsun drawled. 

Tooru abandoned the teasing barb he’d been about to prod his fellow third years with at the words. He looked at his best friend, taking in the slightly more pronounced than usual frown, the furrow between his brows, his crossed arms, cocked hip, and the annoyance in his green eyes.

“Oh? What’s this, has Iwa-chan found himself a rival?”

“A rival upperclassman,” Makki scoffed. 

Ah yes, Iwa-chan’s strange habit of collecting kouhai. As soon as anyone acknowledged him as Iwaizumi-senpai it was a sealed deal. Congratulations, you were now Iwa-chan’s kouhai for life. He took his senpai-ship very seriously, and he had a protective streak about a mile wide. There were very few people who could make this expression come onto his face though, so that could only mean—

Tobio-chan.

Tooru turned his attention to the huddle of crows on the other side of the net. It didn’t take long to find the little pest. He was one of the tallest members of the team. Tobio-chan’s back was to them, but Tooru figured he was very involved in the conversation his team was having. They were all paying attention with very concentrated expressions. It took him a moment to sus out just who exactly Iwa-chan was glowering at so strongly. It was the shorter, stocky brunette wearing the number one to the first year’s right. 

He wondered what had brought this mood on, but they were being called back to the game. Tooru was subbed in, and he settled at the service line, ready to turn this match around. 

He hadn’t accounted for a short redhead who could hit Tobio-chan’s monster sets. 

It happened in slow motion. The kid’s slide shot a missile whistling past Tooru’s head. He blinked uncomprehendingly as the whistle was blown, and the match ended. He snapped himself out of it and moved to join his team. He snuck one last glance at the fallen crows, eyes narrowing on Tobio-chan and his little springy friend. 

Hmm.

He threw his track suit on over his practice clothes and left the gym before Iwa-chan could finish changing. He took a shortcut to the school’s gate and waited there for his kouhai’s new team to arrive. They noticed him belatedly, and satisfaction filled him at the wariness he could see in their eyes. He ignored the ginger and the bald guy who tried to pick a fight with him, eyes focused only on Tobio-chan. 

“You better keep practicing, Karasuno,” he said tauntingly, eyes still on Kageyama. “I want to crush my precious kouhai fair and square in an official match.”

Movement, and the sound of rustling sports jackets as the rest of the team stepped up behind their setter. Interesting.

“The inter-high is soon,” a deep voice said. “We’ll see then what your kouhai can do against mine.”

Captain-chan stood just behind Tobio-chan, a blankness to his features that unsettled something in Tooru. He held eye contact, a blazing intensity in the browns of his eyes. So, the crow captain was the protective sort, eh? He could see how it might ruffle Iwa-chan’s proverbial feathers. 

He led his team around Tooru and back to the bus waiting to take them home. He watched them go. None of them turned back.

***

Failure was a horrible feeling. As he sat with his team after the inter-high, in a cozy little restaurant, it was all he could feel. Coach Ukai’s words of reassurance and encouragement drifted down from the head of the table and filtered in one ear and out the other. The answer to the challenge Daichi-san had casually laid at Oikawa-san’s feet the day of the practice match, in the end, hadn’t been all that surprising. 

They’d lost.

Tobio couldn’t help but feel like it was his fault. He’d messed up too many times, he’d lost his head and panicked in the middle of the game. It had gotten so bad Suga-san had been subbed in for him. His heart hurt as he thought of the confident, victorious look Oikawa had given him at the end of the game. The feeling of being lesser, of not being enough, of not being good enough had never been stronger than as he’d stared up at his old senpai from where he sat on hands and knees on the floor.

Tears leaked out of his eyes as he ate. The regular sniffling from his right told him that Hinata was crying too. He glanced up briefly and looked around at his team to see the rest of them wet-eyed and tear-stained. 

When his eyes settled on the third years guilt crushed his ability to breathe for a second. Today may have been the last time any of them got to play volleyball. After tonight, one of them or all of them might decide to quit the team, pass on the mantle of captain and ace to someone else. Tobio felt like it would be his fault if the third years left. He’d wanted to take this team far, so much farther than they’d gotten. He didn’t want it to all be over already. It was too soon. 

Asahi-san and Noya-san had only just come back.

Coach Ukai had only just started guiding them in the right direction. 

And Daichi-san had worked so hard to make Karasuno something solid and formidable. He’d been putting the pieces of a strong team together since his first year. All his hard work couldn’t be for nothing.

He slept fitfully that night. Despite how tired his body was he didn’t fall asleep until well past the time it could be considered night and was more morning. They didn’t have practice the next day, getting the day off to let their bodies rest and recover after the stress and strain of the tournament. When it was time to go back to school, Tobio found himself nervous. Would the third years be there? Had they decided to quit? He was almost afraid to find out. 

The feeling was unfamiliar. He’d never been upset about his senpai leaving the team before. He’d been a little disappointed in his first year of middle school when Iwaizumi-senpai no longer came to practice, but he was the only one that Tobio really missed. His upperclassmen in second year… it was almost a blessing when they left. 

But Asahi-san, Suga-san. Daichi-san. Tobio would miss them if they decided not to come back. Volleyball, Karasuno, wouldn’t feel the same if he never heard Suga’s encouraging words, Asahi-san’s quiet attempts to field Nishinoya’s bright energy, Daichi-san’s yelling, ever again. He was afraid.

Morning practice was tense. The third years hadn’t showed. Still, the team all held out hope that they’d be back soon. 

Afternoon practice went on without them.

A day went by.

Two.

On the third the team was sagging under the reality that their senpai really might not be coming back.

Tobio tried not to get his hopes up on the fourth morning that the whole team would be there. He changed quietly and left the clubroom to join the second years and Hinata in the gym. Despite his efforts, he still looked around the gym for them. They weren’t there. Practice was subdued, almost lazy. Even Tobio, who had never given volleyball anything less than two hundred percent, dragged his feet a little and only put in just enough effort to play properly. The longer the third years were MIA, the more he felt his energy seeping out of him. He missed them. He wanted to play with them again.

He supposed, if he was really that desperate, he could go up to the third year hall and find them there. Only, he didn’t know which class Suga-san and Daichi-san were in, and he couldn’t remember where Asahi-san’s class was despite him and Hinata going there to confront the ace that one time. 

His mind was elsewhere in class. That wasn’t really out of the ordinary for him; he had a hard time concentrating on anything that wasn’t volleyball related. He stared out the window at the blue sky and the puffy white clouds drifting by. He found himself wondering who would be captain if Daichi-san didn’t come back. The thought left a bitter taste on his tongue and his stomach clenched. He felt vaguely nauseous. 

As the team’s only other setter, Tobio knew the title of Karasuno’s official setter would go to him. He had a harder time figuring out who would take the mantle of ace. Tanaka-san would be a good choice. He was strong and reliable, like an ace should be. Ennoshita-san also wouldn’t have been a bad choice in Tobio’s opinion. The second year was level-headed and calm and he delivered when he needed to. 

He didn’t try to figure out who the next captain would be again. Daichi was captain. That was that. No one else could wear that crown the way he did. 

He walked to the clubroom after school and changed almost mechanically. He helped get the court set up and methodically worked through his warm up a little earlier than normal. He went through the motions of a few serves. They weren’t as powerful as usual. He would need to fix that. 

He moved over to the sideline beside the open door to take a water break and cool down. He surveyed the team, absently taking in their forms and their technique, subconsciously finding ways they could be better and how he could use them in a game. The sound of deep-voiced whining and a familiar warm laugh had him snapping to attention.

He heard the sound of a ball hit the floor, the gym completely silent around him. He turned slowly, like a character in one of the anime Hinata liked, to stare down the steps of the gym. Later he couldn’t explain what exactly had come over him. He’d never done something so… embarrassing and yet strangely nice in his life. It had all been very dramatic, but he hadn’t been the only one involved, so at least all of the embarrassment couldn’t fall on his shoulders.

His body moved before his brain registered that he was in motion. Daichi-san and Suga-san were walking in front of Asahi-san, still laughing at whatever the taller of the three had been complaining about. They were in their club gear, bags slung over their shoulders. 

The change in temperature and lighting processed very slowly. What had Tobio realising he was no longer in the gym was the suddenly wide-eyed and mildly frightened look on Asahi’s face. It all happened in the space of three seconds. Too fast to figure out what he’d done until he was nearly strangling his captain and vice-captain. Their little huddle stumbled with the force of Tobio colliding with them. He wrapped one arm around each of them, and that was when clarity hit. He buried his face in their jackets purely to hide the flush rising in his cheeks. 

He was hugging them. 

He’d flown out of the gym, to hug them.

What was he doing? Tobio didn’t think he’d ever hugged anyone outside of his family ever. The chance for true awkwardness never got the time to set in.

“Suga-san!”

Hinata’s loud cry was the only warning any of them got before the ginger was smacking into Tobio’s back. He was momentarily winded, and then Hinata re-situated himself to wrap his arms around the setter. Suga chuckled and Tobio could feel the movement in the elder’s shoulder as he hugged Hinata back. A warm palm slid across Tobio’s back and locked around his ribs. There was a commotion and a quiet sound of worry from Asahi-san before the sound of the rest of the team coming out of the gym destroyed the silence of the moment.

Bodies piled on, Asahi was dragged into the group hug, so was Tsukishima. Tobio’s skin prickled as Daichi-san’s chin rested on his shoulder, soft warm breaths hitting the exposed skin of his neck.

It was nice.

“All right, that’s enough,” Daichi said. “We have practice to get to.”

“You’re coming back?” Hinata asked excitedly. 

“What, thought we’d abandon you crazy kids?” Suga laughed. 

That churning, nauseating feeling that had been bugging him for days now finally went away. The third years weren’t leaving. He would still get to play with them. It took another minute for everyone to start peeling themselves away from the group hug. Hinata punched him in the arm once they were free and darted away before Tobio could retaliate with a loud, “Give me a toss, Bakayama!”

Tobio gave chase. Practice was the most lively it had been all week, and Tobio was calm once again. The third years were there. Everything would be all right now.

***

Long hours and brutal training camps, the horrible summer humidity that made him feel like he’d just taken a dip in boiling water. It all passed by in a blur of exhaustion, pride, frustration, and a lot of bruises. Their preparation for the spring tournament qualifiers was intense. Everyone on the team pushed themselves to improve, both individually and as a unit. The Tokyo teams really helped them out. Bokuto-san, Kuroo-san and Akaashi-san taking Hinata and Tsukishima under their wing gave the ginger more weapons to use than just his and Tobio’s quick, and even Tobio had noticed the slight shift in the blond’s attitude toward volleyball and the rest of the team. 

Nothing changed much from the harsh routine they’d all set for themselves when they returned to Miyagi after the summer training camp. They still did individual practice, but now they were working on putting it all together in a way that was usable in a match. Working on their synchronised attack, the minus tempo back attack, his floating toss, the minus tempo quick. It all sent a rush through his veins.

They were getting better. They were getting stronger. He could feel it, could see it.

It made him proud to be part of the team. Proud to play alongside so many great people. It also made him impatient for the qualifiers. He wanted to play a real match now. He wanted to see how their new plays and cohesiveness as a team matched up to the rest of the prefecture’s teams.

They were better. Maybe it was arrogant and cocky to say so, but that was what Tobio believed. This time, Karasuno would come out on top. They would be the ones going to nationals. 

The morning of the first day of the tournament, Tobio was excited. If he was any more like Hinata he would be vibrating. The team met at the school for one last strategy meeting and a pep talk from Takeda-sensei, and then they made their way to the tournament arena. Daichi led them inside, past other teams just making their way in and individual players with family members. 

Their first game was against Ohgiminami. Admittedly, Tobio didn’t know a whole lot about them. He’d paid attention during the information briefing the team had done the night before, but the team wasn’t a major powerhouse in the prefecture, so Tobio’s attention wasn’t fully on them. The game was almost easy. Karasuno still had to fight for the points they won, but from the start Tobio knew they were the better team. His confidence only grew when they won the first set 25-16. The second years on the team seemed to have some sort of lightbulb moment during the second set. They kicked themselves into gear, but it happened too late in the set to mean anything for their game. Karasuno won the set 25-13, and won the game.

Spirits were high between their first and second games. Tobio sat against the wall in the quiet corner the team had claimed, drinking a juice pouch and watching the rest of the team. Hinata was beaming and going on about something Tobio wasn’t really paying attention to. Tanaka and Nishinoya were being rowdy as usual, but the other second years were doing a good job at keeping them contained. His eyes settled on the third years. 

They were sitting together across and down a little from where Tobio sat. Suga and Asahi were talking about something, but Daichi-san didn’t seem to be all that involved. His eyes roved over their group, pausing every now and then on someone. He had a soft smile on his face. Suddenly those eyes were on him, and Tobio tried not to flinch at the unexpected eye contact. That soft smile widened a bit, and then Daichi looked away and joined the other third years’ conversation. Tobio’s ears tingled and he frowned. He brushed his fingers against one and felt how hot it was. Why were his ears hot?

“You’re so obvious, King,” Tsukishima muttered. 

Tobio whipped around and glared at the middle blocker. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Tsukishima rose one sharp brow, his eyes darting down the hall. “Daichi-san. I swear the amount of secondhand embarrassment I get from you is haunting. I am genuinely losing sleep because of it. Just tell him already.”

“Tell him what?”

Tsukishima opened his mouth and then paused, staring at Tobio for an uncomfortable moment. He felt like the blond could see right through him and it was… an unpleasant feeling. Something like wonder and mean glee filled his eyes as his usual smirk tugged at his lips.

“You don’t know,” he whispered.

“Don’t know what?” Tobio hissed. 

Tsukishima laughed. “Oh, this is too good.”

“Don’t know what?” Tobio asked again, pushing at the blond’s shoulder. 

“You’ll figure it out eventually. I hope.”

With that said, he turned away and started a conversation with Yamaguchi and no matter what Tobio did to try and get his attention, the asshole wouldn’t turn back around. He was frustrated for the rest of their break as he tried to figure out what on earth the guy had been talking about. What did he need to figure out? And what did it have to do with their captain?

They were called away for their last game before he could come close to an idea. He breathed deeply as they walked to the gym to start warming up, getting himself back into the mindset he needed to play, filtering out and forgetting about any and all distractions. 

A feeling suspiciously close to worry thrummed down his spine when he took his first look at the other team. The team didn’t look particularly menacing in their green uniforms that suddenly reminded him of the one Hinata had worn in middle school. But there was one problem.

“I hear he’s over two metres tall.”

“Isn’t he a first year?”

Whispers from the collection of spectators floated down to the gym floor. Two metres tall? Tobio glanced at Hinata to see the ginger eyeing the tall player on the other side of the court. The gleam in his eye kind of unnerved Tobio a little. They were knocked out of their distraction by Daichi-san clapping and telling them to get started. As he stretched and as the team practiced their spiking, Tobio kept one eye on the opposing team. 

Kakugawa. Tobio didn’t know much about them either, and now that frustrated him. Had they known about this giant first year, maybe they could have come up with a strategy to get around him. He wouldn’t even need to jump to block the ball. His vertical was probably over four meters at its highest point of contact. 

Tobio kind of wanted to set for him.

They struggled with Kakugawa’s block during the first set. They couldn’t get over the two metre player, and when he spiked the ball, it was right over them by a mile. It was annoying. Karasuno scraped by 25-22. The second set was a little different. Tobio started to notice things. Kakugawa’s biggest threat was by far their tall first year. But as the game progressed, Tobio noticed the older players covering more of the court, switching places last second so the first year wouldn’t have to make so many receives. 

Was he new to volleyball? Was he like Hinata? Did he just suck at playing?

Tobio didn’t know, but it was something his team could use to their advantage. They won 25-19. As they were getting ready to leave, Tobio caught sight of the Kakugawa player and Hinata eyeing each each other. The moment didn’t last long, but it was long enough that Tobio understood his friend had just picked up yet another volleyball player. He rolled his eyes. He didn’t know how it kept happening. First there was the setter from Nekoma, then the intimidating guy from Dateko. Bokuto and Akaashi-san from Fukurodani. Lev, also from Nekoma. Who next, Oikawa-san?

They left the arena after the game and traveled back to the school. Tobio found himself drifting off. What felt like seconds later a warm hand shaking his shoulder woke him up. He blinked his eyes open and squinted up at the person standing over him. Asahi-san was smiling gently, and Tobio could vaguely process that he was telling him they were back at the school.

He stood and yawned, collecting his bag and making his way off the bus. He joined the semi-circle around Takeda-sensei and coach Ukai, listening attentively as he went over the things they did well during their games today and what they could do better for the first round of the qualifiers tomorrow.

“Now, our first match up is with Johzenji. They made it to the semifinals of the inter-high prelims, and finished in the top four overall. From the information Shimizu and Yachi have been able to get, they practice by doing two-on-two matches, which means they’ll be adaptable and quick on their feet.”

Coach went on about the team for another ten minutes before they were let out for the night with instructions to eat and rest.

The moment they met the players from Johzenji at the main door of the arena, Tobio was already put off. One of them—average height, horrible dye-job—had his hand in Hinata’s hair and was making eyes at Kiyoko-senpai. It had been maybe five minutes and Daichi-san already had to play babysitter for Tanaka and Noya-san.

The encounter at the entrance had one good thing come out of it though: the team was fired up and ready to win. Tobio knew it was because they didn’t like the blond guy, but he’d take whatever he could get if it meant he was going to get one hundred percent out of his players. 

Their first game of the day made Tobio really put his mind to work. Coach was right when he said Johzenji was quick to adapt and fast. All six players—well, except the libero maybe—seemed to take a shot at playing each position. And they could play them well. Receiving, blocking, spiking. It was amazing to watch and incredibly annoying to play against.

Seeing people’s reaction to the freak quick was always a source of amusement for Tobio. Johzenji’s was no different. They all froze up for a second before the blond—the captain as it turned out—stared at Hinata for a second like he was an alien.

The score was too even for his liking when they reached the halfway point of the first set. His mind was flying a mile a minute, trying to figure out plays that would help them get ahead. When they finally managed a two point lead, Tobio did something that he was undoubtedly going to get laughed at for later. He blocked a spike.

With his face. 

His eyes watered fiercely. He could feel warmth dripping out of his nose and tasted the tangy copper of blood when it reached his mouth. Ukai called a timeout and he knew immediately that he was going to be pulled from the game. 

“Coach I’m fine. I can keep playing,” he said before anyone else could say a word. 

“Kageyama, your nose is bleeding,” Kiyoko pointed out tonelessly.

“No its not.”

He received flat looks from everybody and his cheeks heated in both shame and frustration. 

“Kageyama, go to the infirmary. You’re not going back out there until we have an all clear, got it?” Ukai said.

“Don’t worry Kageyama,” Hinata beamed. “I’ll take care of things while you’re gone.”

Tobio sighed. He wanted to argue that he really was fine, but Yamaguchi was already pushing him out of the gym. He heard the whistle to call the end of the timeout and looked over his shoulder to see Suga-san stepping in. 

He was impatient while waiting for the nurse and while she was checking out his nose. Yamaguchi chuckled at him a couple of times and attempted to reassure him that he’d be back in time to finish the game. When the nurse finally said that there was no significant damage and he wasn’t at risk for a concussion he all but flew off the small examination table. He faintly heard Yamaguchi thanking the woman, but he just kept walking back to the gym.

He joined the rest of the team on the bench, going straight to Ukai to tell him he was good to keep playing.

“Have a seat Kageyama. Take a break, just until the set is over. You’ll be back in for the next one.”

He scowled and took a seat beside Hinata. He turned to look down at the ginger after looking over their team to see who’d been subbed in for him and smirked lightly.

“What was that about you taking care of things?”

“Shut up Bakayama, there’s still another set!”

He watched the team do a synchronised attack and his fingers itched. He wanted to get back out there. The ball flew to Suga-san in a nice arc and the others all started their run up. Who was he going to set the ball to? He watched the ball leave the third-year’s hands. It shouldn’t have surprised him when he set the ball to Daichi-san. His pulse ran quick under his skin as he watched his captain take flight, his back arched just enough to help him put power behind his swing. Tobio’s eyes didn’t move even when the ball had left Daichi’s hand and slammed into the other court. 

He’d never watched Daichi-san spike from this perspective before. It made his blood hum in his veins, watching his form, seeing the power the shorter third year held in his body. Tobio wondered how anyone had ever underestimated Karasuno’s captain. Though not the biggest threat on the team, he was still something to worry about.

He glanced briefly at the other team, his eyes halting on the captain. He was just standing there, but he was watching Daichi intently. Something that almost felt like anger bubbled in Tobio’s chest. He kind of wanted to step in front of Daichi-san to block the second-year’s view. The guy had already proven he was kind of a creep.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard a gentle chuckle. He looked at Hinata and almost flinched back at the unbearably soft look in his eyes as he looked back at Tobio. 

“The hell is that look for?” He grumbled.

“Nothing,” Hinata smiled. “It’s just nice to see you like someone so much.”

“Haah?”

Confused exclamations from his other benched teammates forced Tobio to abandon the conversation for the moment and look back out onto the court. He blinked as he watched Johzenji’s team copy the attack Karasuno had just used. They hadn’t tried a synchronised attack during the first half of the set, and judging by everyone else’s reactions, they hadn’t in the time he’d been gone either. Had they been saving it? Was it a last resort sort of thing? He blinked when the captain totally missed the ball.

The first set was 25-21 for Karasuno.

After a lot of overzealousness from both sides and the frustration of Johzenji adapting to their quick, Karasuno won the set 25-20.

They were going to the quarterfinals.

***

They were briefed on Wakutani Minami—their next opponent—while they took a well-earned rest and ate lunch. They were a strong team, and Tobio got a little worried when Ukai said their captain was the closest thing to the Little Giant their prefecture had seen since the actual Little Giant.

He watched Hinata’s reaction, watched the fire build in his eyes. Hinata getting pumped up to play wasn’t an issue. It was the traces of envy and jealously Tobio could pick out amongst the rest of the emotion in his friend’s brown eyes that really worried him. Hinata wanted to be the next Little Giant, everyone on the team knew that. Hearing someone else, someone they were about to play, called by the title the ginger wanted so badly… Tobio was afraid it would be too much of a distraction. 

Tobio was a little worried during the first half of the first set. Nothing was overtly wrong on their side, but it was just a little too difficult to get a point in against Wakunan. They went back and forth for a long time. The game worried him.

And then, the game scared him.

The ball sailed over the net a little weakly, but it still got them their twentieth point. His satisfaction just about died when he turned around to join the rest of the team’s celebration. He felt like he couldn’t breathe suddenly as he stared wide-eyed and uncomprehending at the floor. At Daichi on the floor. Sprawled out. Not moving.

Tanaka called his name, and when there was no answer, Tobio found it hard to swallow past the lump that was quickly forming in his throat. He took two steps to the side, taking in the rapidly forming bruise on the boy’s left cheek, his closed eyes. The only comfort Tobio had was that he could see Daichi breathing. There was a sharp whistle blown, but he heard it from far away, like he was underwater. Ukai and Takeda-sensei ran over.

He took a deep breath and felt himself sag when Daichi started to move again. He barely heard the words Takeda and Daichi exchanged. He gradually came back to himself as Daichi was helped up and he was able to stand on his own. 

“Daichi, you’re bleeding,” Kiyoko said softly.

“I’m fine—”

Tobio watched the third year manager blink, heard Hinata and Yamaguchi shriek as Daichi looked at something in his hand. A tooth, was that what they’d screamed? Had that collision knocked a tooth out?

Everything happened faster than Tobio could process it after that. Daichi was sent to the infirmary, Yachi right beside him. Ennoshita was subbed in to take Daichi’s place. The game resumed.

Everything just felt wrong after that. They won the set sure, but knowing it wasn’t Daichi on the back line, that it wasn’t Daichi covering their backs just… didn’t feel right. He had nothing against Ennoshita. The second year was doing very well despite this being his first official match. 

The second set went by. Daichi didn’t come back. They lost.

As they got ready to start the third, Tobio’s determination to win got stronger. He took a few slow deep breaths and tried to wipe his concern for their captain out of his mind. He didn’t need to worry about how the third year was doing right now. He was in the infirmary and Yachi was with him. He would be fine. In the meantime, Tobio needed to turn the game around. He needed Daichi to come back to a win, to something he could be proud of.

The set was a blur, but he knew they fought hard. He was sure every one of them could feel Daichi’s absence, was acutely aware of the gap he left behind. So they went to work. They did their best to fill that gap. They fought tooth and nail for that last point. For their win. 

And when they saw Daichi and Yachi standing by the door, a bruised boyish smile on his face as they swarmed him, Tobio knew they’d done their job. He paid close attention when Daichi told Ukai he was good to play in the next match. Something like relief soothed the tight anxiousness that hadn’t quite left him since he’d first seen Daichi unconscious on the ground. 

They cleaned up quickly and made their way into the stands. They found enough empty seats for the team to sit together and watched the match going on on the court beside the one they’d just vacated.

“Whichever one of them wins, they’re our next opponent,” Daichi said, tone serious.

Tobio looked over both teams. Dateko and Aoba Johsai. He didn’t know which would be better to play.

In the end it was Seijoh. Tobio really wasn’t surprised. 

Their semi-final game passed by before any of the details could stick in his brain. He remembered winning the first set. Remembered throwing everything they had against Oikawa-san, remembered the shock and the slight fear that had filled him when Seijoh’s number 16 had come out to play. He remembered sweating and jumping and serving and tossing. He remembered losing the second set. But none of that stuck until after. 

The third set ended before he even realised. He heard the ball smack the ground, but the sound of the whistle signalling the end of the game never reached his ears. He was looking down at Oikawa this time and nothing was going through his head. He felt less than he thought he would, seeing his old senpai that way. Before, after the practice match and their loss at the inter-high, Tobio had thought he’d relish a victory against Oikawa. Thought he could finally lay middle school to rest if he could just beat the older boy, just once. But all he felt was a soft numbness. They’d won. He was happy about it. But beating Oikawa, seeing him desperate and frustrated, pushing him to his absolute limit… It was all much less satisfying than Tobio had thought it would be. He’d wanted to beat his old senpai for a long time. He wondered at his dulled feelings now that he actually had.

He didn’t have long to dwell on it because suddenly a strong hand was fisting the back of his jersey and yanking him away from the net. He crashed into a hard chest, and then a thick arm belted around his waist. Hinata crashed into him from the front, and then Tanaka-san and Noya-san were joining the sweaty group hug.

It was only then that the cheers from the rest of the team reached him. His eyes traveled over to the scoreboard.

26-24

They won.

They were going to the finals. They were going to play Shiratorizawa.

***

They were going to nationals.

***

Life didn’t feel real for about a week after their win against Shiratorizawa. Their Total Defence strategy had worked. They’d beaten the reigning champion and they were going to nationals. They had months to prepare. The tournament wasn’t until January. Tobio was excited. 

The mood in the gym had been brighter than the sun since the final. There was laughter and jokes and the odd prank. Everyone practiced with more enthusiasm than Tobio had seen from them all year. It was like they’d all kicked themselves into third gear and they were gunning it for the finish line. It was intense. 

Though the team had its playful moments, there was an undeniable focus in the way they moved. Practice was serious. Beating the strongest team in Miyagi, the confidence boost that came with that statement, hadn’t resulted in any form of slacking off. Together coach Ukai and Daichi-san drove the team hard. They worked on old moves, came up with new ones. They practiced their receives until it took a week for the bruises to clear, tightened up their block now that Tsukishima had discovered the joys of volleyball and the power of teamwork. 

Tobio went home exhausted but satisfied every night and fell into bed more confident than the day before that come the spring tournament, Karasuno was going to do great things. 

He caught his mother watching him across the table one night during dinner. She had a look on her face that Tobio hadn’t seen in a long time. Her mouth curved into a gentle grin and her eyes were so clear the pride and love they held almost radiated out of them. Tobio hadn’t seen that expression in years. Not since his father left and Miwa went with him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she murmured. “You’re happy.”

Tobio blinked as the statement settled in his ears. He was happy. He looked down at his dinner. Happy. He supposed yes, he was. His shoulders didn’t feel quite so heavy as they had been since Kitaichii. His thoughts weren’t as murky as they usually were. They didn’t race a mile a minute anymore. The biggest tell that his mood was lighter than it had been in a long while was probably the fact that he was carrying the conversation. He only noticed it now, but his mother had barely said two words since they’d sat down. And it was because the gentle silence that usually surrounded them had been filled with Tobio’s words.

He shrugged at her.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying your team so much,” she said. “Your captain sounds wonderful.”

Tobio’s eyebrow twitched at the mention of Daichi-san and his mother’s odd tone. He stared at her for a minute and her grin slanted slightly to the left. Playful. Tobio didn’t trust it.

“You talk about him a lot.”

Tobio’s eyes widened. He didn’t think he’d mentioned Daichi all that much tonight. The grin on his mother’s face softened into an actual smile as she seemed to read his mind.

“Not just tonight. Those few days when you didn’t know if your senpai were coming back were the most you mentioned him continuously, I think. But you always seem to have something to say about your Daichi-san. It’s cute.”

Tobio felt his cheeks flush. He didn’t realise he talked about the third year that much. He honestly thought he complained to her about Hinata more than he ever mentioned the captain. 

“I’m just… proud… of everyone,” he said.

They returned to their dinner. The silence only lasted so long before his mother spoke up again in her gentle voice.

“It’s okay you know,” she said. “That you have feelings for him.”

He blinked down at the chopsticks between his fingers, his lungs malfunctioning. Have feelings… for Daichi…

Did he have feelings for Daichi-san?

His mother didn’t say anything else and he heard the faint sound of her chopsticks knocking against the edge of her bowl. Tobio sat in total silence, still as a statue as his mind took off without him. 

He thought of warm laughter and steady hands. Of encouraging words and intimidating silence. Strong fingers in his hair. A wide smile, missing a tooth. He thought of power, control, safety and trust. Of meat buns and barbecue. Of reassurance and a conversation outside of a convenience store so many months ago. 

He took himself back through months of interactions, right back to that first day. The wide shoulders draped in pitch black. The assessing look in brown eyes that at the time, Tobio had thought were a little cold. He remembered the weird tingle under his skin the first time Daichi had spoken properly. The odd, hard thump his heart had given, temporarily knocking the breath out of him, as it skipped a beat the first time he’d laid eyes on the captain.

It was with near franticness that Tobio examined his interactions with the rest of his senpai. He honestly barely spoke to Asahi-san, but it was a lot more than he spoke to Ennoshita, Kinoshita or Narita. Tanaka-san and Noya-san were loud and a little bit much, but Tobio’s feelings about them were closer to what he thought having older brothers would feel like, from his perspective of a singular older sister.

He even went as far back as Kitagawa. But the only one that came even remotely close to how he felt for Daichi was Iwaizumi-san, and it was a far cry from this. He’d admired Iwaizumi-san, he knew that. But his admiration for the elder and the wonder he’d felt, the desire to set for him and have his attention was a hell of a lot different.

For one, he got to toss for Daichi-san all the time, so that was already different. But there was a strange feeling lurking in the background whenever Tobio thought of the captain as his spiker. Something that wasn’t there when he thought about Asahi or Tanaka or anyone else he’d ever set a ball to. 

The way he wanted Daichi’s attention was different too, now that he understood that he did want Daichi’s attention. He wanted the third-year’s eyes on him constantly. Wanted him to watch Tobio play and excel at it. He wanted all of Daichi’s attention on him and him only.

He choked a little as he finally fully realised that he had feelings for his captain. That he liked Daichi. He remembered that first conversation with Hinata, when he’d said he and Tobio liked Daichi in different ways. He remembered the comment the ginger had made when they’d been on the bench during the Johzenji game, Tsukishima calling him obvious. God, they’d figured it out before he had. And he hadn’t actually even figured it out. His mother had had to point it out to him.

His mind kept jumping back to Tsukishima’s words. Obvious. His stomach dropped at the thought of Daichi knowing. He couldn’t know Tobio had feelings for him. He didn’t really believe in any gods, but Tobio was willing to pray to each and every one of them to ensure that Daichi wouldn’t know. He panicked even more when he wondered if anyone else on the team had noticed. How many of them new.

He couldn’t finish the rest of his dinner, his stomach tied too tight. He helped his mother put the leftovers away and clean up, and then he breezed through his nightly routine and all but fell into bed. He stared at the wall from where he laid on his stomach. He had feelings for Daichi.

What was he going to do?

***

He skipped morning practice the next day. Not because he was afraid of seeing Daichi—or anyone else from the team for that matter—but because he had to have a meeting with one of his teachers before class. He had lunch with Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, and Yachi like normal. None of them made any comments that led him to believe he was acting strange. It allowed him to relax a little and ease himself into the usual taunting and banter their group threw at each other daily. 

They had to split the gym for the first part of practice with the basketball team. The usual gym they used had something going on for the first twenty minutes, so the two teams were stuck in the volleyball team’s gym. Tobio stood with the rest of the first years, watching with heads tilted as Daichi tried valiantly to avoid the basketball team’s captain. He’d never seen the third year actively try to stay away from someone before. It was odd.

They got the net set up and warmed up while they waited for the other team to clear out. Kiyoko used the time and the fact that the basketball hoops were down to update everybody’s verticals. 

Practice went on as usual once they had the gym back. Tobio was hyperaware of himself and the rest of the team. He watched them to see if he could figure out if anyone other than Hinata and Tsukishima had figured him out. He tried his best to behave as he normally did so he wouldn’t give himself away. He thought he did pretty good. No one had given him any looks or made any comments by the time practice ended, so he considered his mission successful. They rounded up around Ukai and Takeda almost ran in a few minutes later. Tobio hadn’t noticed the teacher leave the gym.

“I have some great news,” Takeda said once Ukai had finished. “Kageyama-kun, you’ve been invited to the All-Japan Youth training camp.”

The team exploded at the announcement, all loud voices and hard hands on his back. A familiar hand squeezed his shoulder, brushing down his back as it fell away. He blinked at Takeda-sensei as the news processed. All-Japan? Like, the training camp Ushijima had been to? The training camp for Japan’s most promising high school athletes? 

That All-Japan?

Hinata’s words didn’t register, but at the sound of his voice Tobio looked down at him. He felt his lips curve up in a smirk, his mouth slanted to the left. Hinata glared at him.

“I’m moving on,” he said.

He knew the middle blocker would understand. 

He left the school on a high. He ignored the fact that Tsukishima had also been invited to an exclusive training camp and focused on the fact that he’d been invited to the All-Japan Youth training camp. Holy shit!

When he got home he dropped his bag, flung his shoes off and went on the hunt for his mother. She startled when he wrapped himself around her in a tight hug. She wiggled until he let up a bit, and then wound her arms around his back.

“What’s the occasion?” She asked.

“I was invited to a national youth training camp.”

She pushed away from him and stared up into his face. Her mouth split as she smiled so wide her eyes turned into crescent moons and pulled him back in, crushing him against her chest.

“I’m so proud of you.”

He dropped his face into her shoulder and held on just as fiercely.

She made his favourite for dinner and they ate in the living room, the latest Tachibana Red Falcons and EJP Raijin game on. 

He was so excited in the days leading up to when he was supposed to leave he was nearly jittery. He got some weird looks from the team sometimes when he smiled down at a ball or when he ignored a mistake. He was too happy to care right now. The team was in a good place coming up to nationals and Tobio had been invited to a national training camp. 

Whenever he caught Hinata looking he just shot the short middle blocker a smug grin. He knew Hinata was jealous, but he also knew that jealousy wasn’t really full blown, real jealousy. It wasn’t that he wanted Tobio’s spot, he wanted the opportunity to go to a training camp for promising players because he wanted to get better. He’d almost damaged Tobio’s hearing that first night telling him how excited he was that Tobio got to go.

He was jolted out of one of his smiling-at-a-ball sessions by Suga-san slinging an arm around his shoulders and leaning heavily into his side. He had a lazy smile on his face Tobio didn’t know what to do with.

“Kageyama-kun, when you get all big and famous, remember to tell everyone that you learned everything you know from your Sugawara-senpai.”

When the day came his mother drove him to the train station. He had handwritten directions from Takeda-sensei on how to get to the training centre from the station in his jacket pocket.  He held his mother’s hand as they waited for the train, trying to contain the urge to fidget. He wanted to get to Tokyo as soon as possible. He wanted to get started. He was pulled into a tight hug when the train finally pulled in. She sent him off with a kiss on the cheek and a promise to pick him up in a week’s time.

His nerves only started to kick in when he got off the train in Tokyo. He stepped to the side, out of the way of the doors, and pulled out the paper Takeda had given him. The page was rumpled and creased from being in his pocket. He walked out of the station and looked around, trying to orient himself and find the first street he needed to take to get to the gym. 

He only got turned around once.

There were a few people waiting at the main doors of the national training centre. They looked official, dressed business casual with lanyards around their necks. When they greeted him he told them he was there for the training camp and one of them led him away deeper into the building. 

Once he was on his own he took stock of the other boys gathered around in the gym. Some were tall, others short, most average. They were all dressed in so many different colours it kind of made his eyes hurt. He blinked and did a small double take when he recognised someone toward the left edge of the group. He couldn’t remember the guy’s name, only that he went to Shinzen and had been at the summer training camp. He had wild curly hair. It kind of looked like broccoli. 

The first day was introductions and a lot of talking. They played weird volleyball icebreaker games that Tobio did not appreciate, and then they were all walked down the road to the hotel they were staying at. 

The week passed quick after that first day. 

Tobio spent his days quietly amazed at all of the players at the camp. Hoshiumi reminded him of Hinata. Especially when he got up in Tobio’s face about not being surprised by how high he could jump for someone his height. Sakusa-san was… odd, to say the least. He’d hovered over Tobio during lunch one day and grilled him on how Shiratorizawa—and more importantly Ushijima—had lost to Tobio and his team. His cousin Komori hung around him most of the time and acted as a buffer. Tobio didn’t mind him. He spent most of his time with Broccoli #2. He only felt marginally guilty that his name just wouldn’t stick inside his brain. 

Miya Atsumu was a pain in the ass.

He hovered around Tobio more than anyone else and was singlehandedly the most agitating person Tobio had ever met. And he had to spend hours everyday with Tsukishima. He tried to be mysterious and worldly, but whenever Sakusa was around he turned into a literal child. Tobio got the sense those two didn’t get along very well. 

The day he’d called Tobio a goody-two-shoes had been frustrating. It confused him. How was giving his teammates the tosses they wanted a bad thing? He tried to avoid conversation with the fake blond as much as possible.

He got along with the others just fine and in between scrimmages and skills clinics he found himself talking to a few of them.

“So who’s this Daichi ya keep talkin’ about?”

It was lunch. Tobio was sitting with Hoshiumi, Broccoli #2, and Komori. Sakusa was sitting by himself across the cafeteria because he was filling his daily quota of teenage angst (Komori’s words). At the familiar Kansai accent Tobio frowned. Miya had other friends at the training camp, Tobio knew he did. He’d seen the second year spend time with them. Why did he have to keep bothering him.

“Yeah Kageyama, the name’s come up quite a bit,” Komori said.

Miya took the last empty seat and Tobio tried to fight off the heat crawling across his face. There he goes again, talking about Daichi-san without realising it. It was becoming a problem.

“You got a crush, Tobio-kun?” Miya leered.

His face got warm.

“Wait, isn’t that your captain?” Broccoli #2 asked, looking up from his lunch.

His face was on fire.

“Ehhh?” Tobio already hated Miya’s tone. “You’ve got a crush on your captain, Tobio-kun? That’s adorable.”

Komori scoffed and polished off his food. “What, like you don’t have a raging hardon for yours.”

Miya pulled back immediately from where he’d been leaning across the table in Tobio’s direction, spluttering. He made a sound like he was choking and failed epically at defending himself. 

Komori ignored him and smiled kindly at Tobio. “He must be pretty cool if he managed to get your attention.”

Tobio shrugged. “Well…”

He looked down at his tray and picked at the edge, not knowing what to say.

“He is,” Broccoli #2 suddenly piped up. “Here, I found a video from Miyagi’s qualifiers.”

He fiddled with a few things on his phone before holding it toward the middle of the table where the rest of them could see it. The video was from their match against Shiratorizawa. It showed a tense rally somewhere in the game (Tobio honestly couldn’t remember what set) and the two serves after that. Daichi-san scored off of their libero, and it showed him receiving a lot of Shiratorizawa’s attempts to score.

“You know, if he hadn’t spiked that ball, I would have thought he was a libero,” Hoshiumi said.

“He just got really good at defence,” Tobio said.

“He looks like a delinquent,” Miya huffed. “Why’s his face all bruised. Are ya into that kinda thing, Tobio-kun?”

“Daichi-san’s a good student. He ran into another teammate during our quarterfinal game.”

Miya’s lips twitched. “Aww, listen to ya, defendin’ his honour.”

“I’m not—I was just answering your question.” He grumbled.

“Well, I for one am looking forward to seeing you guys at the tournament,” Komori said.

Tobio’s lips quirked up in as close to a smile as he was willing to go in silent thanks. Lunch finished soon after and they walked back to the gym.  

He left Tokyo with a few more phone numbers than he’d arrived with and boarded his train feeling satisfied and ready to tell his mother everything.

***

He didn’t have time to think about his feelings for Daichi as December crept into January. The spring tournament was edging ever closer and all Tobio could focus on was practicing and getting ready. Things were a little different when he got back. He found out Hinata snuck into the training camp at Shiratorizawa and was allowed to be a ballboy. They played a practice match against Dateko. Tsukishima’s spike point had apparently gotten higher in the last week, and suddenly all Tobio could think about was Miya Atsumu calling him a goody-two-shoes. 

He got stuck in his head for a few days. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. It all came to a head one night when he ended up yelling at Asahi. He snapped out of it at the total silence in the gym. The team were all staring at him, most with shocked expressions and wide eyes. He caught the frown on Daichi-san’s face and felt the shame and fear flood his system.

He’d stopped being this. He didn’t want to be this anymore. He was supposed to have left the attitude and the controlling in the lonely corners of Kitagawa’s gym. Panic made it hard to breathe. He wanted to turn tail and run. He wanted to apologise, but the words just wouldn’t come out. He waited for them to abandon him, to turn away from him, scorn him. 

All that happened was Hinata making a crown out of a towel and shoving it onto his head. There was laughter after that, and understanding. From everyone other than Tobio. 

“We know you, Bakayama. You’re gonna have to try a little harder than that if you want some real pushback.”

Everything was back to normal the next morning and Tobio felt like he could breathe again.

He ended up at the school on New Year’s, despite there being no practice scheduled. He found Noya-san, Tanaka-san, and Hinata already there. Someone had brought the stuff to play hanetsuki, so they backed themselves into a loose square and started a game.

Daichi showed up at some point, a strange energy around him that was almost like anxiety. He ushered them out, hands pressing into each of their backs in turn to get them moving.

“You shouldn’t be here, you need to rest before the tournament,” he said.

“But Daichi-san, why were you here then?” Tanaka asked.

“I was making sure the basketball team hadn’t stolen our gym.”

What? Tobio turned to look at the older boy over his shoulder, but Daichi wouldn’t meet any of their eyes. When Tanaka asked what he was talking about Daichi didn’t say a word.

He went home and spent the rest of the day double checking his bags, making sure he had everything he needed for the trip to Tokyo for the tournament. After that was done with, he found himself with nothing else to do. His mother was at work, he was actually caught up on homework for once, he’d spent time with people. He fell into bed and stared at the ceiling. It was at that moment when thoughts about his feelings for Daichi finally crawled their way back to the surface.

Tobio had rarely, if ever, seen Daichi in casual clothes. He’d been in dark jeans and a green coat. Tobio thought he’d looked nice. The calm, warm feeling in his chest seeped away slowly as his thoughts turned.

What was he going to do about this? He couldn’t tell Daichi, could he? He didn’t think that would end well, for him anyway. And if he did, it definitely wouldn’t be before the tournament. That would just be a distraction for both of them. Maybe… maybe if he did decide to tell him, he could do it after they won? He blinked up at his ceiling. Yes, that might work. He’d see how far they went first, and if all went well he’d tell him. Maybe if Daichi was in a good enough mood he’d let Tobio down gently because honestly, there was more of a chance of winning the lottery than Daichi liking him back.

And if things went wrong well, the school year was over in March. He would only need to get through the bus ride home if he came clean in Tokyo. And maybe the third years would finally officially resign once they came back and Tobio might only see the boy in passing. That wouldn’t make things awkward or uncomfortable for anyone else. Plan in place, Tobio tried to find something to do until his mother came home.

After they won. He would tell Daichi after they won. 

***

Only, they didn’t win. Some games yes, but they didn’t make it nearly as far as Tobio had hoped they would. They won their first game. They beat Miya’s team—Inarizaki—against everyone’s expectations. Tobio had thought about confessing that night, but he’d held himself back. They still had more games to play, and their next match was against Nekoma. He didn’t want to break Daichi-san’s focus when everyone needed to be at one hundred percent against the sly cats.

They’d won that game. It was a hard fight. Afterward Tobio was too exhausted to do anything other than satisfy his basic needs for food, water, and some rest. They played Hoshiumi-san’s team. Hinata almost passed out. It was just about the scariest thing Tobio had seen in a while. Absently he thought to himself: why did the scariest moments of his life always seem to happen mid-game? Then Tsukishima hurt his leg. It all fell apart from there.

They lost.

They were going home.

It had hurt listening to Hinata apologise to them. He had a fever of just over thirty-nine degrees. Tobio was impressed he’d managed to play as long as he had. He didn’t say anything to try and dispel some of his friend’s guilt, but he did sit beside him and press his leg into Hinata’s side where he laid in his futon. When he fell asleep, Tobio replaced the cooling patch on his forehead with a new one.

The team was quiet as they slowly packed up their stuff. There was the odd sniffle as someone tried to hide their tears. Tobio was disappointed. It felt like their journey had been cut short, over too soon. They should have been able to do more. They should have moved on to the next round.

They left for Miyagi after the tournament’s closing ceremony two days later.

He cried when he got home. His mother was there, waiting for him at the door. He could smell that she’d made his favourite and he knew then that she knew. She knew they’d lost. He walked into her arms and couldn’t hold back the tears that had been trying to fall since before they’d left Tokyo.

“I watched them all Tobio. You did so well. I’m so proud of you.”

His shoulders trembled as she carded her fingers through his hair. They’d lost. She’d seen. She was still proud of him.

She slowly pulled him into the house and led him to his usual seat at the kitchen table. All of his favourites were laid out and it made him cry more that she’d done this for him. They shared their meal in silence, and then they curled up on the couch together and she put on Tobio’s favourite volleyball match she’d had recorded for upwards of three years now.

Practice was dull the next week. They were all disappointed. The third years hung around. Tobio thought about confessing more than once, and a couple of times he’d actually almost done it. But, at the last second every time he’d clammed up and run away. Daichi had noticed his strange behaviour, and that led to him avoiding the third year as much as he could. 

January became February. 

February became March.

Before he knew it, the school year was ending. He got busy studying for, and then writing, his final exams. The date of the graduation ceremony was decided on. 

On the day of the ceremony, Tobio spent a long time picking out something to wear. He settled on casual clothes that still looked nice, but there was only so much he could do with it still being cold out. And he didn’t want to look like he was trying too hard. He stood in front of his bathroom mirror messing with his hair, trying to get it to fall straight. When he looked as good as he was going to get, he left for the school.

The whole team was there. They met up by the gym and then joined the flow of parents and siblings to where the ceremony was being held. It was bittersweet, listening to the principal talk about the great things all the graduating students would do in the future, how proud they were of having had them at Karasuno.

It made him kind of sad, and nostalgic for the year that had gone by. Everything was going to change now. He’d be a second year. There would be new people joining the team in April. Yachi would be manager. He had to actually start putting some thought into what he wanted to do when it was his turn to graduate. He wanted to go back to a few months ago when all they had to think about was practicing for the spring tournament qualifiers. When they’d been together and everyone was happy. It felt like something was being torn away from him, the third years leaving.

When they made their way out, Tobio found Suga-san first. He was talking with who Tobio assumed was his family. He smiled over at him when he noticed Tobio standing there, and it hit Tobio that he was really leaving. He wouldn’t ever catch sight of silver hair in the gym, get advice from him, practice with him, again after today. Suga’s mouth lost its happy curve, and then he was sidestepping his parents and making his way over.

“Oh, Kageyama,” he murmured. 

There were tears in his eyes and he tried to rub them away before they could fall. He didn’t want Suga to leave. It felt childish to be crying over this, but he was doing it anyway. His face was pressed gently into the elder’s shoulder and he was folded into a hug before he could try and get away from it.

“We’ll be back Kageyama. We’ll visit, I promise. You didn’t really think it’d be that easy to get rid of us, did you?”

They disconnected and Tobio wiped at his cheeks just as the rest of the team found them. Together they went hunting for the rest of the third years. Suga disappeared at one point, but he came back about ten minutes later with the others in tow. There was a round of hugs and some very loud thank you’s from members of the team.

He found himself tearing up again when the whole team shouted a thank you at their third years as the four of them walked away.

As he made his way to the front of the school to leave, Tobio’s heart dropped into his stomach. That had been his last chance. Today had been his last chance to confess to Daichi-san. Panic seized him and he broke out into a run. He knew the third years had all left already. He hoped if he was fast enough he’d catch Daichi before he made it home. 

He skidded around the side of the school and sprinted for the front gate. 

“Daichi-san!”

He kept running as he saw the boy startle and the large group he was walking with turn to watch him. Daichi waved them on as Tobio slowed down. He watched the group of six make their way to a large van and get inside. When he stopped he took a minute to catch his breath. Nervousness was starting clog his throat and coat his hands in cold sweat. Daichi looked kind of concerned. He swallowed hard and bowed low.

“Kageyama, what’s—”

“I have feelings for you!”

A weight came off his chest as soon as the words passed his lips. He stood up and dared to look at Daichi. His eyes were round and wide open, his lips still parted around his interrupted question. He blinked once, his jaw closing with a snap.

Tobio realised he didn’t have a plan for what happened next. He’d only gotten to the part where he told Daichi about his feelings. He’d never had the sense to think about after that. Daichi’s lips parted again and Tobio was suddenly terrified. He didn’t want to hear what Daichi had to say. He was almost positive it was going to be a rejection. He tensed up, his fingers cramping from where they were curled into tight fists.

And then he ran.

***

Second year started. There were five new first years. They had to order more jerseys come tournament time. Ennoshita was captain, Tanaka was ace. Tobio of course, was the official setter. They had some practice matches before the inter-high. They played Dateko most often, but they’d played one against Seijoh—funnily enough almost on the same day as the one from the year before—and strangely enough, Shiratorizawa.

The third years showed up for their first inter-high match, all four of them. Suga-san looked tired. Asahi-san had actually grown out his facial hair; his hair was still long. Kiyoko looked as put together and at ease as she always had. And Daichi-san… Tobio had avoided him. 

He’d hoped that after months of separation, not seeing or speaking to the former captain would help his feelings go away. That hope had died the moment he’d caught sight of the man—because that was what he was now—down the hall outside of the gym. His hair was a little longer, he was wearing a Miyagi Prefecture Police Academy t-shirt. Tobio’s heart had tripped and his stomach had done a somersault and he’d fled to the nearest bathroom. He’d waited until Hinata had called him to ask where he was and to tell him that they were at the bus.

He’d hummed noncommittally when Yachi told him that the third years had been sad to miss him.

Life went on.

He flubbed a serve majorly during their first practice match after summer break when he noticed Daichi standing up on the balcony from the corner of his eye. He listened to Yamaguchi’s ‘don’t mind, don’t mind’ and sneered at him mentally. Easy for him to say. It seemed like another two months apart hadn’t changed a damn thing. He breathed slowly and tried to tune everything out and act like things were normal.

At the end of the match he offered to help clean up, just so he could avoid Daichi. From his hiding place in the supply room, Tobio took his first good look at the man. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. His hair was long enough Daichi could brush it off his forehead. He was… bigger… than the last time he’d seen him. 

As he stored the net away he faintly heard Daichi talking about what the academy was like. Law was the bit he found the hardest but he was enjoying the rest of it. It was mandatory for prospective officers to take a martial art while training and Daichi had chosen judo. So far his first year was going well. Tobio was proud of him, but he was still too afraid to go out and say it to his face. He managed to keep occupied until Daichi had to leave. He could feel the man’s eyes on him before he left.

They made it to nationals again for the spring tournament. He was invited to the All-Japan training camp again much to Hinata’s chagrin. 

They made it to the quarterfinals and the third years were waiting for them when they filed out into the hall. They were nothing but kind words and pride, but Tobio couldn’t bring himself to look at them. He hung around, but everyone on the team—new and prior members—knew him well enough to tell that he wanted to be left alone.

They drove back to Miyagi. They practiced for fun while they waited for March. It felt like he was losing something again when the third years graduated. There was nothing left now of the team that had shaped him, helped him grow, cared for him, apart from his friends. Something about that hurt in some vague, unidentifiable part of himself. 

He felt like he’d been punched in the chest when one night, just before the end of practice at the beginning of his third year, Ukai handed out the jerseys.  They’d had to order more again. With Karasuno’s budding status as a tentative powerhouse, they suddenly had people flocking to the gym to join the team. Where they had been twelve his first year, they were fourteen his second. Now in his third, there were nineteen of them. Their bench was suddenly deep, and all of them eager for their shot at being on the court. Yachi was training two managers.

“Kageyama.”

He stood up from where he sat beside Hinata and took the folded black and orange jersey their coach held out to him. He stared at the number emblazoned in white on the front.

2

Suga-san’s jersey. As he stared at it a new fire lit itself in his chest. This was Suga-san’s jersey, his legacy. It was Tobio’s to carry now.

Tsukishima’s eyes lingered on the 3 on the back of his new jersey. Hinata’s mouth firmed into a determined line as he sat down, Tanaka’s number 5 clutched tightly in his hands. And Yamaguchi, who had been so nervous during their first year and had spent more time at Tsukishima’s shoulder than anywhere else…

He was captain.

As the four of them walked home, past Ukai’s store, they paused. Tobio turned to look at Hinata beside him. They met eyes, and then they were both turning to look at Tsukishima and Yamaguchi who were already looking back.

“This year,” Hinata said.

“Or we take it all down with us.” Tsukishima smirked.

They kicked into gear from the next morning on. They treated practice matches like it was the last game they’d ever play. It was during that first one that Tobio and the rest of the second and third years discovered just how much Yamaguchi had learned from Daichi and Ennoshita. 

They went to training camps in Tokyo. They attacked the inter-high, picking their opponents apart like the carrion they were named after. After, they went to the summer training camp at Shinzen, and Tobio could see when the rest of the teams noticed the shift in Karasuno. They practiced hard, and in between school work and figuring out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, Tobio sat with the other third years—sometimes at his house, sometimes at one of their’s—coming up with new moves, finding new ways to work around the teams they’d played against. Something to fight with now and something to leave behind.

The spring tournament qualifiers, the last he’d ever play in, came up fast. People stared and whispered as they walked through the arena. Other teams watched them pass. The way they used to watch Shiratorizawa. 

They wiped the floor with their first opponent, and then their second. They played Dateko and Seijoh and Shiratorizawa. They beat them all, champions three years running. Suga-san was the only one who was able to make it to their final match. He pulled Yamaguchi and Tobio into a hug as he told them all how proud he was of them, how Kiyoko, Asahi, and Daichi had wanted to be there but school and training got in the way.

They practiced. They had their last training camp of high school. As a third year Tobio could no longer be invited to the All-Japan training camp, but he wasn’t bothered by it. He celebrated his eighteenth birthday at home with his mother and the rest of the third years, accepting the teasing from Hinata and Tsukishima about being the youngest of the group. The New Year passed. They made the trip to the city hosting that year’s spring tournament.

They fought tooth and nail through it all. They came out in third place.

He was in limbo once they got back. He didn’t need to go to practice anymore, though he still did. He did his homework and went to meetings with the guidance councillor about what he thought he might want to do after graduation. Life went on. 

He woke up one wet February morning to an email. Two emails, actually. He blinked at them and had to read both of them four times before it finally sunk in that it was real. He double checked the addresses that had sent the emails, although he already knew one was legit because it wasn’t the first time the man had contacted him. 

He took a screen shot of the first one and sent it to the group chat he’d had with the others since first year. He’d been invited to the tryouts for the Shweiden Adlers. They were one of the top teams in the first division of the V. League. And they wanted him to come try out. 

He thumbed out of that one and into the one from a familiar sender, though he hadn’t heard from them since his second year. He read through the greeting and the brief introductory stuff, and then he got to the reason for the email. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he read the words, and he read them three more times before it finally sunk in. He threw his phone down, and then picked it back up and called the first number in his call history. 

It only occurred to him that it was five-thirty in the morning when the phone was picked up and a groggy voice snapped at him.

“I’ve been offered a spot on the national team,” he said.

The line went silent.

“Say that again,” Suga rasped.

“They sent me an email. I’ve been offered a spot on the national volleyball team.”

“Holy shit… Holy shit! Kageyama, that’s amazing!”

***

The next six months were… strange.

For one, he was on his own. Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and Yachi were in Sendai. Tobio was in Kodaira, splitting his time between training with the Adlers and the national team. He missed his friends, and he missed his mother.

He tried not to think about it too much, especially Hinata. Tobio had been completely blindsided when, days before graduation, he told Tobio that he was leaving Japan. He was in Brazil. Wanted to try beach volleyball. He’d promised Tobio that he wouldn’t be gone forever, but that hadn’t done anything to dull the ache in his chest. He’d thought they were going to keep playing together. Sure, they’d never actually talked about their plans for after high school. But he’d never thought Hinata would actually leave the country.

They talked as much as they could, but it was hard being in two different time zones, in different parts of the world. Oddly enough, his saving grace was the last person he expected.

Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Tobio had found out on his first day as an official member of the team that Ushijima played for the Adlers as well. Hoshiumi was there too, which had been another welcomed reunion, but there was something different about Ushijima. Maybe it was the fact they were both from Miyagi. They knew a lot of the same people, the same places. They were both country boys in the big city.

They spent a lot of time together as a result of that sameness. He found out Ushijima liked manga, that he couldn’t cook to save his life and should not be allowed within thirty feet of any kitchen appliance other than a microwave and maybe the coffeemaker. They watched volleyball matches together and started going to the gym every other day. They stopped and got lunch sometimes and Ushijima never failed to ask him how training for the national team was going.

Hoshiumi started joining them a few months in. It was fun, having someone else around who had known Tobio before he’d had to become an adult. Before the veil of a professional athlete had been laid over his shoulders. They got together for movie night, Hoshiumi joined them at the gym, he and Tobio started to learn how to cook. It was purely so Ushijima wouldn’t starve and could stop living off takeout and instant ramen.

He turned nineteen. He went out with the team to celebrate, even though he wasn’t old enough to drink yet. He still had fun. He spoke with his mother on the phone for nearly two hours and he was bombarded with messages from his friends and some of his kouhai from Karasuno. 

Everything was good.

***

He was in Rio. For the olympics. 

It was blowing his mind.

His phone was full of good luck texts from his friends, his mother, kouhai and his teammates back in Tokyo.

He was an olympian at nineteen years old.

He played hard, trying to take everything in while trying to focus on the matches. He was in Rio. For the olympics.

The weather was hot but nice, and when he wasn’t playing a match or practicing there was a pool in the olympic village that was open pretty much twenty-four hours a day. On the really hot days he stayed inside and hung out with the team or texted his friends. Talking to Hinata was a lot easier. It was weird to think that he was in the same city as his best friend, something that hadn’t happened in over a year. 

The games continued. Japan made it pretty far, out of the knockout rounds at least. But they didn’t medal. Tobio was still too caught up in the fact that he was at the actual olympics to be upset about it. He was torn out of his starstruck haze by a voicemail.

It was a day old. Timestamped for about an hour after their last game had ended. 

“Hey Kageyama. I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked. I hope this isn’t too forward of me, but I wanted to tell you I watched your match. I’ve watched most of them, actually.”  

There was a brief pause and a slightly awkward chuckle. 

“I’m really proud of you, you know. You’re so different from that last game in middle school. You’ve already done so many things, it’s crazy to think you’re only just getting started. I—I’m just, really proud of you. Of the man you’ve turned out to be. God, I sound like my dad. You’re a good guy Kageyama, always have been, is what I’m trying to say. Maybe… if we’re ever in the same city, we can get together and talk. Maybe get something to eat or… something. Anyway you’re probably with your team or asleep or something, so I’ll wrap this up. You did good, Kageyama. Talk to you later.”

He blinked over the railing of the balcony attached to his room. He hadn’t known Daichi still had his number. He saved the voicemail, only because it was something familiar in an unfamiliar place and he still liked the sound of the older man’s voice. He stared down at his phone and shook his head. He went back inside and crawled into bed after shutting the lights off, and replayed the voicemail. 

It dredged up feelings he had long thought were gone. He hadn’t thought of Daichi in months, not since before he graduated high school. But laying there, listening to Daichi speak over a phone line in the dark of his room in Olympic Village, Tobio knew he’d never forgotten about him. It was still there, that feeling he’d been so unsure of in his first year, afraid of in his second. It had been easier to ignore during his third because Daichi had always been busy. Tobio supposed, now that he was thinking about it, Daichi should have graduated from the academy by now. He would be a full fledged police officer, albeit a very new one.

He missed Daichi fiercely all of a sudden. He was the only one Tobio didn’t still talk to, the only one he hadn’t seen in some capacity since high school. 

He missed him. And something in Tobio looked hard at the way he felt and understood that it was abnormal. That having feelings for someone—strong ones that hadn’t dimmed even a little—for four and half years wasn’t normal. That it could be classified as more than a crush. He hadn’t seen Daichi since his second year. Hadn’t spoken to him since he’d yelled his confession in his face the day of his high school graduation. And still. He felt no different now than he had that day.

He went back to Japan with heavy feelings that had nothing to do with the olympics.

***

Everything came to a head two months later.

It was October. The V. League season was well underway and the Adlers were doing really well. The buzz from having gone to the olympics had worn off some time ago and Tobio’s life was back to business as usual. He no longer had to hop between training centres, the national team taking a break after the games. It left him with more time for himself, which he spent with Ushijima and Hoshiumi because when he was alone he just thought about Daichi. 

He still had the voicemail saved.

It was game night. They were in Tokyo, playing a home game against VC Hiroshima. The arena was packed. Even from the locker room Tobio could hear all the spectators, the roar of their voices and feet pounding as they walked through the halls acting as background noise as he got changed. He slipped his jersey over his head and fit his kneepads into place. He tied his laces before following Ushijima out into the hall. 

He tuned out the crowd as warmups started. He stretched, practiced a few receives, tossed to his spikers, did warm jumps for blocking. 

When the game got started it was like the rest of the world had fallen away. Tobio focused on nothing but the ball and the people around him. The crowd wasn’t there. The only noise in his mind was the sound of the whistle blowing, the squeak of shoes on the polished floor, the ball, his own breathing. He was completely focused. He could tell he was in top form tonight. There was a humming under his skin, like something was about to happen.

He played a good game. He wasn’t trying to be arrogant, it was just a fact. Shweiden won the match. Tobio didn’t want to say it was easy, VC Hiroshima had played very well. He’d just played harder matches.

He made his way into the locker room with the rest of his team and hit the showers. It felt good to clean the sweat off of his skin, to put on clothes that weren’t pasted to his skin with it. He dressed in a simple pair of black workout pants and a t-shirt. He slipped his club jacket on over top and slung his bag over one shoulder. 

He talked tiredly with Hoshiumi and Ushijima as they made their way through the now quiet halls to the main entrance. Tobio just happened to look up as they hit the foyer and noticed a figure leaning against one wall. He was older than Tobio’s memory, his hair longer, but it would be a long time before Tobio stopped being able to recognise Sawamura Daichi.

“Kageyama.”

Tobio knew that tone. It pulled his shoulders back and made him stand a little taller. Tobio was a little embarrassed that it still worked on him even after all this time. Daichi kicked off the wall and made his way over. Tobio heard the rest of the team coming up behind them.

“Hey, you know him, Kageyama?” One of the older players asked.

“Yeah, he’s an old senpai from high school.”

“Sawamura Daichi,” Ushijima greeted.

“Ushiwaka. You guys mind if I borrow Kageyama for a few minutes?”

It was silent as even though Daichi had asked the question to Ushijima, they were all waiting for Tobio to give a response. Hoshiumi’s eyes narrowed and then he did this weird bob-and-lean thing suddenly as his eyes fell on Daichi.

“Wait a minute… isn’t this the captain you said you had a crush on at that training camp?”

Tobio smacked him and then buried his face in his hands.

“Oh my god, shut up!”

A smattering of laughter rippled through the group and suddenly hands were patting his back and his team were all slipping past him. Tobio watched them go in a bit of a panic. He wasn’t ready to talk to Daichi, to see him. He watched them all walk out of the building with something like dread in his stomach.

Suddenly there was a hand on his.

“Hey.”

His eyes fell to Daichi’s. He’d moved to stand right in front of him, a little closer than strictly necessary. He’d spoken softly, and his expression was open and gentle and not unlike it had been in high school. 

God, Tobio was so gone on this man.

“You never let me answer,” Daichi said.

“What?”

“When you confessed. You never let me answer.”

Tobio resisted the impulse to laugh in Daichi’s face.

“I didn’t want to listen to myself get rejected.”

“Why are you so sure that’s how it would have ended?”

Tobio opened his mouth to respond when Daichi’s words hit. He looked down into familiar brown eyes. Daichi could be intimidating and crafty and mischievous. Tobio knew the look in his eye. But… he couldn’t be…

“Daichi-san,” Tobio started, didn’t know how to finish.

The hand resting on his moved to grab it. Daichi held his hand loosely. Tobio could pull away if he wanted to. A calloused thumb passed over his knuckles.

“You can tell me if I’m wrong, but I was hoping… maybe… that you still felt that way. About me.”

This was not happening. It couldn’t be. It was too good to be true. Sawamura freaking Daichi had not shown up out of nowhere to corner him after a game and ask him if he still had feelings for him.

Except, apparently he had. Because Daichi was still holding his hand and looking up at him with such an open expression it felt like an invasion of privacy. 

“Do you really—”

“I do,” Daichi murmured. “I have. For a pretty long time.”

Tobio took a deep breath. It shuddered its way into his lungs. He held onto Daichi’s hand, his heart trying to run away from him. Daichi grinned. Tobio’s eyes caught on the gap between his teeth where one was missing.

“Go on a date with me.”

Tobio blinked. “Right now?”

“No,” Daichi chuckled. “You need to get some sleep. I’ll be in town for a few days.”

Tobio couldn’t believe this was happening. He pinched his thigh as subtly as possible, but when the world didn’t dissolve and he didn’t wake up in his bed, he reluctantly started to believe he was really standing there. Being asked on a date by Sawamura Daichi.

“Let me walk you home?”

Tobio nodded. 

They left the arena together, still holding hands. It brought heat to Tobio’s cheeks. The first few minutes of their walk was silent, but then Daichi started talking. He asked questions about the team, the season so far, how he was liking living in Tokyo. He asked after the others—Yachi, Yamaguchi, Hinata and Tsukishima. It took a little bit, but Tobio eventually got up the nerve to ask questions back.

Daichi lived by himself in an apartment. He was one of the newest members of the Sendai City Police Department. He and Suga-san met up on weekends to have lunch, and sometimes Asahi-san joined them when he was in town. Tanaka-san and Kiyoko were dating. Daichi was dog sitting for a friend from the academy, which was the whole reason he was even in Tokyo. 

He didn’t let go of Daichi’s hand when they reached his apartment building. His fingers twitched like they couldn’t decide between letting go and holding on when they reached his door. He held on. He brought Daichi into the genkan. He tossed his bag into the front hall and then turned to face his old senpai. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Daichi asked quietly.

Tobio shrugged. “I’d thought about sleeping in.”

“Spend the day with me.”

“Okay.”

He found the decision to agree a lot easier to make than he’d expected it to be. 

“Do you want to meet me somewhere, or do you want to meet here?”

Tobio’s face heated as he thought of Daichi coming back in the morning to pick him up. So they could spend the day together. Go on a date. 

“Whichever’s fine.”

Daichi’s thumb was running over Tobio’s knuckles again and it was supremely distracting. He let go, but it was only to run his wide palm up Tobio’s arm. Having Daichi’s hands on him, having him so close after too many years, made him want to touch. His fingers twitched. 

He’d done it once, forever ago, when Daichi was just his captain and Tobio an unruly kouhai.

He wrapped his arms around Daichi’s neck and set his face against the man’s broad shoulder almost delicately. Daichi’s arms wound around his back, locking Tobio against his body. Daichi was so warm. He always had been. He didn’t know how long they stood there. Eventually a yawn forced its way out of his throat, muffled by the light jacket Daichi wore. 

“You should head to bed,” Daichi murmured.

Tobio nodded against his shoulder. 

Daichi let him stay for another minute before his hands slid around to Tobio’s waist. He felt Daichi’s nose brush the side of his face before suddenly it was Daichi’s mouth pressed against his skin. The man’s lips were a light pressure against his temple and his face flushed.

“I’ll text you in the morning.”

Daichi pulled away and Tobio felt the loss like a physical thing. Daichi pulled the door open and stepped out into the hall.

“See you tomorrow, Kageyama.”

“Yeah.”

He watched Daichi walk to the elevator.

“See you tomorrow.”

***

He used to think it was a senpai thing, after all, he’d always had strange relationships with his upperclassmen. He’d admired Oikawa and been hated by him. He’d had a crush on Iwaizumi. Tanaka and Nishinoya were the closest thing to older brothers Tobio would ever have. Suga was his weird gremlin friend and he had movie nights with Ushijima and Hoshiumi at least once a week.

He rolled over in bed, tracing sleep-softened features with his eyes, admiring the way pale sunlight lit up a wide chest, the bottom part of a long neck. He pressed his lips to a bare shoulder.

— “Oi, so what is it your boyfriend does for a living?" Hoshiumi asked.

The team had gotten together for the end of the season and Tobio’s twentieth birthday and were having a little party.

“He’s a cop.”

Silence met his statement, and then Hoshiumi carefully set his drink down.

“Okay, so, it totally wasn’t me that spiked your drink during your nineteenth birthday party. Sawamura doesn’t need to know about that, deal?” —

Ten years ago he told Hinata it was a senpai thing.

Now he knew it was just a Daichi thing.