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Liam was practicing lacrosse one night. He’d been struggling since becoming a werewolf, before he was ever bitten by Scott McCall Liam was quite good at lacrosse it was no secret but now Liam was not the same since that one night. Being a werewolf changed him in many different ways. It was late; the only light he had was the light of the spotlights that hung over the field. Flied was getting foggy and with ever shot Liam took the more he missed the net, with every ball missed the angrier he got. His grip has tightened around his lacrosse stick a lot. Every shot he took he could feel it coming close to snapping in half.
“Isn’t the point of the game to actually get the ball in the net?” A voice asked from behind him. Liam turned around and was not surprised by the face he saw. Despite not knowing him for that long Liam has developed an infatuation with the other boy.
“No, the goal is to get it furthest away from the net as possible” Liam joked. He walked closer to the other man. He loosened his grip on the stick and he relaxed.
“What are you even doing here Theo?” Liam asked. The other boy's name rolled right off his tongue. Almost like it was his to say.
“I was on a walk and I heard someone and I came to check it out,” Theo said. He didn’t lie Liam listened to his heartbeat; it had been steady the entire time.
“Well since you’re here, wanna play?” Liam asked, he raised his eyebrow and bit his lip.
“I can try but you can’t make fun of me for sucking because I’ve never played before” Theo picked up the other stick. He spun it in his hands and fixed his posture. Liam got into the goal and raised his stick. Theo scooped up the ball and threw it. Liam caught the ball, Liam smirked and raised his eyebrows, he threw it back and to his surprise Theo caught it.
It went on for a while with the ball just being passed between the two.
“It’s really late. I think we should stop, I’ve gotta go home” Liam said. He dropped his lacrosse stick and Theo did the same. They packed up the equipment and started to walk back to the parking lot. Once they got near the bleachers Theo reached for Liam’s hand. They both heard each other's heartbeats jump. Liam’s head turned to face Theo. Theo licked his lips and gave Liam a look. A look that made Liam’s face get red and hot. A look Liam would never forget. Theo pulled Liam behind the bleachers Liam and him were only centimetres apart. When Liam exhaled Theo could feel it on his lips. They both leaned in and they brushed their noses together. Theo placed his hand on the side of the other boy's face.
“Is this okay?” Theo asked Liam nodded. They closed the gap between them. Their lips met. It was a feeling like none other. Liam had kissed a boy before, but this kiss with Theo was different. Although Liam didn’t go around telling everyone it was no secret that he is bi.
Within seconds the kiss intensified. Liam’s back had been pushed against the bleachers. Theo's hand had moved from Liam’s face to his shirt. He gripped Liam’s shirt like if he were to let go he would die.
When they broke apart, they just stared at each other. They had words to be said but they did nothing. Liam went on his way and so did Theo. The inter night Liam could not think of anything else but Theo, his kiss with Theo felt right, it felt like Theo was meant to be kissing Liam.
***
To Liam’s surprise that kiss was not a one-time thing. They had been secretly seeing each other since. They didn’t say they were dating or in a relationship but it was exactly that. They didn’t want to put a label on it because nothing fit just right. Boyfriends wasn’t a big enough term, partners sounded like they worked together and lovers sounded too old. Theo would spend his nights sneaking into Liam’s room every night, they would fall asleep and Theo would sneak back out in the morning. No one in the pack knew about their secret, not even Mason. Hayden knew something but not all of it, she didn’t know it was Theo he was seeing but she knew it was a boy and that he was older. Everyone assumed Liam and Hayden were dating. They acted like they did because Hayden had asked if he could be her pretend boyfriend until she came out to her parents.
Every night had been the same. It was amazing. They didn’t need anything to be different. But tonight, tonight was different. Liam could feel it, something was about to change. Tonight was the night Theo was going to ruin everything. He came in through the window like every other night, he closed it and then climbed into Liam’s bed. From the moment he got into the other boy's room, it felt different. Liam felt it too. Liam felt it all day that something was different.
Liam rolled over to face Theo.
“Something’s different, you’re chemo signals are all off” is all he said. Theo avoided eye contact. The tears would’ve spilt out if he had looked into Liam’s blue eyes.
“I have to tell you something,” Theo said his voice cracked and was just above a whisper.
“And you’re going to hate me forever and I will not blame you for what comes next” Theo then continued, Liam was confused everything had been great. They were great together, Theo listened to him, and Theo knew everything about him, Theo had been there for him in a way no one has.
“Don’t tell me don’t ruin this please I don’t care-“ Liam was then cut off
“I have to,” Theo said and then took a sharp breath in. Liam took Theo’s hands
“If you’re going to tell me something that will ruin everything, look me in the eye at least,” Liam said. Theo then raised his head and looked Liam in the eyes. He tried to keep the tears from falling.
“I am the first chimera I’ve been working with the dread doctors” Theo finally admitted, a tear fell from his eye.
“No” is all Liam had managed to say
“Liam-“ Theo tried to say something to make it better
“No you don’t get to say anything” Liam started tears had filled his eyes but he kept them in
“Why did you tell me, things were good,” Liam said but it almost came out as a sob.
“I- because I lo-“ Theo attempted once again but was cut off
“No you don’t get to say that I want you gone I don’t ever want to see you again,” Liam said and he then turned us back on Theo.
Once Liam was alone he let it all out. He screamed, cried, broke things, punched a hole in his wall, and laid in bed and didn’t move.
Liam didn’t know what to think, had it all been a lie, a ploy to get close to pack to information, did he even care about Liam.
***
Liam watched as Theo was dragged to hell by his sister. He just stood there as Theo screamed and cried for help as Tara pulled him further into the hole that had opened up in the ground. He desperately wanted to save him but he couldn’t.
The nights after Theo told him were cold and lonely he missed Theo's touch, his words, and the comfort he brought Liam. Liam was never worried about wolfing out and losing control around Theo because Theo kept him grounded, he was his anchor.
They eventually left the tunnels and went on their way. Liam just sat on his bed all night long.
***
There was no turning back now, as Liam pierced the sword into the ground his heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t undo what he had just done. Liam had no idea what or who was coming out of the ground, was it going to be his Theo not that Theo had ever truly been his or would it be this new evil Theo that he had seen. The crack in the ground had re-opened up. Liam had been imagining this moment ever since Theo was sent there. He watched as Theo's hands grabbed the ground for support and watched as he pulled himself out. He felt Hayden’s stare in the back of his head.
Theo shoved Liam against the wall he was clearly confused.
“Where’s my sister?” He asked. Liam couldn’t look away from him. He was covered in dirt and in very close proximity to Liam. All Liam could think about was the bleacher and that night at the school field where they played lacrosse. Seeing Theo again after all these months of secretly worrying about him and wanting him it made Liam forget all about who Theo actually was all along because seeing him there in front of him breathing and looking at him made Liam want Theo again.
***
Liam took Theo to his house first. He got him washed up and gave him a change of clothes. Not a word was shared. Liam had so much he wanted to say, Liam wanted to scream at him, scream about all the hurt Theo had caused him but he couldn’t and as much as he wanted to be with Theo he couldn’t because everything had changed since that night. With Theo being in his room it brought back memories. Memories he had been trying to forget ever since that one night that changed everything.
“Liam-“ Theo tried.
“Don’t” Liam said and he walked out of the room.
“We have to get to Scott’s so um let’s go” Liam shouted back into the room.
“Liam, can we please talk?” Theo begged. Liam wanted to badly he really wanted to talk to him. He wanted to hear what Theo had to say, maybe find out why Theo took his heart and shattered it right in front of him.
“I don’t have anything to say” Liam lied. He lied to Theo like Theo did to him.
“Well I do” Theo fought back. Liam didn’t understand why he tried so hard to talk to him. He was the one who lied about being in love with Liam.
***
Malia was on top of Theo punching him. She had almost knocked him out. He muttered something along the lines of ‘you don’t have to stop’ it broke Liam’s heart to watch Theo be hurt. He and Scott went over and stopped Malia before she killed him. He grabbed Malia's arm as she went up to hit him again. They had to block her from getting to him.
Scott and Liam pulled Malai back. He looked at Liam with confusion.
“Slow down okay he’s going back in the ground,” Scott told them. Liam felt a sense of protection for Theo. He couldn’t let him go, as much as he hated it and would have never admitted it, Theo was his anchor. He knew from the moment he first saw Theo. He’d hoped that he was Theo’s anchor but he was wrong because Theo never loved him and never cared about him.
“We can’t he remembers Stiles” Liam argued. He couldn’t lose Theo again. Scott looked at him and he still didn’t understand why Liam of all people wanted Theo to be back.
“Scott remembers Stiles Lydia and I remember Stiles” Malia fought back. She had every right to hate Theo, everyone did, Liam should too.
“The dread doctors knew all about the wild hunt, he could help us” Liam was really trying to get them on board.
“Or he could kill us,” Scott said
“He’s my responsibility,” Liam said, he said it and he knew Scott knew what he meant. He could feel Theo’s eyes on him, they were burning holes in his head.
“Noshiko gave me the sword.” Laim stood his ground, his posture hardened and he was not giving in.
“It’s so awkward when mom and dad fight,” Theo joked but it didn’t help his case.
“Shut up!” Both Scott and Liam shouted.
“You both are right, if Theo tries anything we’ll send him back to the skinwalkers,” Hayden said, she was the only one on his side, she was the only one he knew how felt about Theo. She didn’t know about their actual relationship but she knew about Liam's feelings for the chimera.
“But for right now-” Hayden didn’t get to finish her sentence
“He goes back” Scott cut her off.
“Except Liam’s the one with the sword” Theo cut in
“Shut up!” They all yelled at him. He didn’t know how to not get involved.
Scott pulled Liam into another room to talk with him alone. Liam gave him a look
“What, you don’t trust me?” Liam asked hurt that Scott didn’t believe in him to make the right calls.
“I don’t trust him. Do you?” Scott looked at lIma with concern in his eyes, the worst part is Liam would probably trust Theo within seconds if he just looked at Liam they way he used too.
“No, but I think we can use him,” Liam lied. He didn't want to use Theo, he just wanted Theo.
“Remember who he is, he got into your head and you tried to kill me and when that didn’t work he did kill me and Tracy and Josh and his sister” Scott reminded Liam about the terrible stuff Theo did. No matter how hard Liam tried to tell himself that Theo is evil he couldn’t stop loving him.
“This might be our only chance to get Stiles back,” Liam told Scott.
“Can’t we just try to find somebody that we at least trust?” Scott asked
“This might be a mistake but you don't know that yet,” Liam said
“And you made mistakes when you were learning to be an alpha” Liam reminded Scott
“Yeah I made a lot but we don't have time for mistakes,” Scott told him. Liam was ready to beg.
“I can’t lose Stiles,” Scott said.
“So we should try anything we can to save him, even Theo right?” Liam asked
“Even Theo” Liam sounded pathetic; he was defending a man who had used him and pretended to have feelings for him just to get to his alpha and yet he still loved him. He doesn’t think he’ll never not love Theo.
***
Theo left. Liam didn’t blame him for leaving at all. There was no reason for him to stay, not anymore, not ever really. The ghost riders were gone. Theo was a free man. Liam wasn’t a reason for him to stay anymore, he never really was. What Theo told him, what Theo said about his feelings was all fake. Everything was fake. He used Liam and Liam still loved him. Liam was pathetic. He’s so pathetic he couldn’t move on from some guy who used him. All Liam could do was lay in bed. He felt as if his heart had been ripped out.
***
Liam knew it was wrong but he was almost glad about the war they were fighting. He would have fought this war over and over again just to see Theo.
When Theo showed up Liam froze he had no idea what to do. He spent months trying to get over him and as soon as Liam saw him all that work had been undone. Months of Liam going on dates in hopes to move on had failed. That's all it took one look at the man who ripped his heart out, crushed it and never even bothered to return it, one look and he was completely and totally head over heels in love with him.
What do you do when you’re standing in a police station bathroom with your ex but he’s not really your ex but is at the same time because you did have a relationship but you never said that it really was a relationship and he then dumped you because it was all fake but sometimes you wondered if he actually did love you because his heartbeat was always steady when he said things like I love you so you had no reason to think he was lying until he said he was actually working against you and trying to kill your alpha. But now you and your ex are standing in this police station bathroom after he said he was worried about you, even though he left you after you brought him back from hell. But you can’t even blame him for leaving because he had no reason to stay because he has no family and everyone hates him and he actually doesn’t love you so for him to stay would have been pointless, and it’s not like if he stayed it would’ve been better because him leaving made it easier to get over him and if he did stay you would have probably begged him to love you. But now that he’s back all you want to do is kiss him, and he seems like he might care about you now and you think this because since he got back all he’s done is save you.
Yes, Liam knew he was being pathetic once again but that’s what Theo did to him.
***
The words that were said in the elevator replayed in Liam's head. ‘I’m not dying for you’. Liam knew that already. Theo didn’t have to tell him. But when Liam said that he wouldn’t either he knew Theo heard his heartbeat. He knew Theo knew he lied.
When they fought together it was like magic. They worked so well together. They knew exactly what the other was doing. They fought together perfectly. It made Liam think that maybe just maybe Theo and him were meant to be. Maybe Theo never lied about his feelings for Liam.
When Gabe was bleeding out on the hospital floor and Theo walked over to him and took his pain a realization hit Liam. Theo never lied to him. He did lie about the dread doctors but he never lied about his feelings for Liam. He was always honest about that. Even when he came back he wanted to talk to Liam. Now Theo was probably done with him though. He didn’t blame him Liam was terrible to Theo even when he was trying to help.
***
Now Liam and Theo are currently outside the hospital in Theo’s car. Liam fidgets in his seat. He wants to ask Theo a question he just doesn’t know how. How do you ask your ex-boyfriend who was manipulated as a child to be evil and then he tried to kill your alpha but you didn’t know about any of this until one night he tells you and you just assume he never loved you at all, but now you see that he did love you and you want him back because you still love him, and you want to tell him that you loved him when he was ready to kill all your friends and was ready to kill you after you pulled him out of hell and you refused to talk to him when he got back and even when he left you still loved him. How do you tell him that you are so in love with him that it hurts to wake up in the morning and impossible to sleep at night. That you have to be near him or it feels like you can’t breathe and you’re suffocating. How do you tell him That you can’t do daily tasks without thinking about him.
“Liam what's wrong?” Theo asks. they haven't spoken any words since the elevator. “
“Was any of it real?” Liam finally asks. This is the question that Liam had been dying to know since that one night.
“I mean did you mean any of it or was it all just to get to Scott, because Theo I- I can’t keep living without knowing,” Liam tells him. Liam needs an answer to this. It’s been a year and he can’t keep going on the way he is.
“All of it was. I meant every single word I said to you and I never wanted to hurt you and I will do whatever it takes for you to believe me because Liam I still love you, I never stopped” Theo admits. Liam has never felt so happy but sad at the same time.
“The biggest mistake I have ever made was not betraying Scott it was hurting you and making you think I never loved you because you, you Liam were the only thing I had in my life that made me feel like I- I was worth something that I wasn’t a failure and I went and ruined it, and I am so sorry and I will do anything and I mean anything for you and you have to believe me because-” Theo says but is cut off by Liam’s lips crashing onto his.
The kiss is as good if not better as their first kiss. That day on the lacrosse field was everything to Liam up until now.
“I’m still in love with you, I was in love with you when you tried to kill Scott, I was in love with you when you were in hell, I was in love with you when you knocked me out five times to keep me from killing Nolan. I am so in love with you that it hurts. I want to be with you forever” Liam says he’s gasping for air by the time he’s doing his love confession.
“I want to be with you too” is all Theo says back.
Everything was perfect. They drove to Liam’s house and spent the entire night together just talking and holding each other.