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"I can't believe I'm doing this…." Ryder muttered as he struggled to calmly set up his microphone. Suddenly the things he did daily became difficult once there was a gun pointed at him.
"Are we ready?" The man sitting across from him asked.
Jack could stall no longer unless he wanted to get shot. He nodded and hesitantly leaned to speak into his mic and begin.
"Welcome listeners to Gotham City One. As always, I'm your host, Jack Ryder!" Ryder tried to keep the same tone he always did. He had been told exactly what would happen to him if he did anything different. "Today, we have a special guest; some know him as the clown Prince of crime; I know him as the man that just took me hostage, the Joker, everybody!" He tried not to make eye contact with the clown sitting across from him as he went through the script he had laid out in his mind.
Joker took notice of Ryder's nervousness. "Relax, Jack; you think I went through all this trouble just to kill you?"
"Of course not, Joker," Ryder replied, trying to play it cool. "I'm just surprised to have you as a guest. So tell us, what brings you to the studio today?" Ryder asked, hoping to steer the conversation in a direction that wouldn't get him killed, unsure if that direction even existed.
The Joker grinned, showing off his yellow teeth. "Oh, I just wanted to share my insights on joy, love, and the meaning of life," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Ryder knew he was in for a very long interview.
"…seriously?" Jack couldn't help the genuine reaction that escaped his lips. "I- I mean, of course! We're all just dying to hear it." Ryder couldn't believe he was being held hostage by The Joker. He had hoped to talk about the latest happenings in Gotham tonight, not listen to the ramblings of a madman. But Ryder had to keep up appearances - and keep himself alive. He took a deep breath, readying himself for whatever the Joker had in store for him.
The Joker leaned in closer to Ryder, a sly grin on his face. "You know, Jack, I've been quite a fan of your show for some time now," he said, his voice dripping with insincerity. "I've never cared for the things you have to say, of course…but your voice makes for attractive background noise."
Ryder shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to maintain his composure. "Uh, thanks? …I think."
"Trust, it's a compliment, Jack." Joker assured his captive.
“…right, um…the interview?” Jack knew he was in for a long and uncomfortable conversation if things continued like that.
"Of course, go for it. Ask me anything."
It was not an easy instruction to comply with when the man saying held a revolver in his hand, loosely gripping it, hands in his lap.
"…okay." Jack sighed. "You are one of the most dangerous men in all of Gotham. You have hurt a lot of people; I mean, just today, you killed my producer…."
"Is there a question in there?"
"Yes- yes there is. Why do you do it?" Ryder asked. Joker had claimed to want an interview, but Ryder had no idea what he was supposed to ask.
The question felt generic to the Joker, one he had been asked a million times by a million different cops, therapists, and psychiatrists. "Chaos." He answered.
"…chaos?" Jack raised an eyebrow.
"Yes." Joker gave a curt nod. "I am an agent of chaos."
"… there's gotta be more to it than that." Jack refused to believe the answer was so simple.
The Joker leaned back in his chair, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Oh, but there isn't, Jack. Chaos is the purest form of expression. It's the only thing that truly matters in this world. And I am an agent of chaos."
Ryder shuddered at the intensity in the Joker's voice. He knew he had made a mistake by asking that question, but he couldn't help but wonder what drove a man like the Joker to commit such heinous acts. He'd never get another chance to ask.
"No." He refused that notion.
" What?" Joker was a little taken aback.
" I don't believe that you don't have a bigger reason than that. There has to be more to you motivation." Ryder could feel the ice he stood on get thinner.
The Joker sighed, his eyes downcast. "You want to know the truth, Jack?" he said, his voice suddenly softer, almost vulnerable. "I never wanted to be this way. I had a rough childhood, you see. My father was abusive, and my mother was never around. I pretty much raised myself. I was bullied at school and had no friends. I thought I could make people like me if I could just make them laugh…."
Ryder couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was the Joker really trying to make him feel sorry for him? He was sure this was an act, something joker would drop the second Ryder was stupid enough to believe it.
"…I know that what I do is wrong, Jack," the Joker continued, his voice barely above a whisper; Ryder wasn't sure if the mic was fully picking it up. "I know everyone thinks I'm just a monster. And- and some- sometimes, I wish I could just...stop. But it's too late for me. I'm in too deep, I-"
"I don't believe you." Ryder cut Joker off abruptly.
"…what?"
" I do not believe you. If that were the real story, if this was how you really felt, you wouldn't be telling it to me."
"Who would I be telling it to then, Ryder?" Joker asked. "Don't exactly have a lot of friends these days."
"…Batman." Ryder replied. "You wouldn't be this vulnerable for anyone else."
There was an uneasy silence in the room. Jack wasn't sure how long it would last. He was waiting for a reaction of some kind. He never got one.
"Do you know what they say about crime jack?" Joker asked, changing the subject.
Ryder sighed. "What do they say?"
" They say that crime doesn't pay…. But that's just a lie they tell you to keep you in line. Crime pays, and it pays well. The only people who say it doesn't are the ones who don't know how to do it right." There is a twisted logic to Joker's rambling.
Ryder didn't dare interrupt this. He just stared.
"I mean, think about it. Money, power, respect... all there for the taking if you're bold enough to just go after it. And the beauty of it is, you don't have to play by anyone else's rules. You can make your own rules, or have no rules at all!" Joker talked with his hands, an action made all the more terrifying by the fact he was holding a loaded gun. "That's real freedom, you know what I mean, Jack?" He asked.
"I mean-" Ryder started, but Joker didn't pause long enough for Ryder to really respond.
"Its not the fake, sanitized version they sell you in the movies. That's why I do what I do. I'm living proof that you can have it all, as long as you're willing to just take it." The Joker cackles, his eyes gleaming with manic energy. "And that's all I did. I shed all of the pointless rules that were holding me back; I am truly free."
"…until they lock you back in Arkham." Ryder replied.
"No. Wrong. Even then, I am freer than all of you. I am the freest man in the world, even when I'm in a cage." The Joker's maniacal laughter fills the room momentarily before he continues his rant. "You see, Ryder, I don't fear Arkham…or Blackgate. I embrace that kinda thing. It is a place to wait, nothing more. I can leave any time I want to."
"…But, Joker, you've been locked up more times than I can count…if you're so free, why do you keep getting caught?" Ryder asked, trying to keep the conversation going and hopefully keep himself from getting shot.
The Joker's grin faltered for a moment before he regained his composure. "Ah, but that's where you're wrong, Jack," he said, his voice laced with malice. "I don't get caught. I allow myself to be caught. It's all part of the plan, you see."
Ryder couldn't believe what he was hearing. The Joker was insane, and Ryder was stuck here with him, at his mercy. The thought made his blood run cold.
The Joker's eyes narrowed, and a sly smile crept back across his face. "You know, Jack," he said, leaning closer to Ryder, "I really am enjoying this talk...maybe we could go out for a drink after this?"
Ryder's eyes widened in surprise. "Uh, I- what? No. I don't think that would be a good idea, Joker," he stuttered, trying to scoot away from the man.
"Oh, come on, Jack," the Joker purred, reaching out to grab Ryder's hand. "I promise I won't bite... much."
Ryder jerked his hand away, his heart pounding in his chest. "I think we should stick to the interview," he said, his voice shaking. "You said you wanted a normal interview..."
The Joker chuckled, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "As you wish, Jack," he said, sitting back in his chair. But Ryder couldn't shake the feeling of the Joker's hand over his.
Their conversation continued much the same as it had the whole time. The Joker continued to spout his philosophy of chaos and anarchy while Jack Ryder tried to steer the conversation in a safer direction. Whenever he thought he had a handle on things, the Joker would say something that would leave him reeling.
At one point, Joker turned the tables on Ryder and began asking him questions. "So, Jack," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "What do you think of Batman?"
Ryder was caught off guard by this unexpected question. "Uh, he's a hero," he said, trying to sound confident. "He saves people and stops criminals. What's not to like?"
The Joker chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh, Jack," he said, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "I do listen to your show, remember? Don't lie to me…."
Jack took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. All the negative things he had said in the past about the city's dark knight came back to him, suddenly get regretted ever talking about him at all. "If you're such an avid listener, then you already know I don't like him," Jack said, trying his best to keep his voice from shaking. "I don't like what he stands for or how he operates. But...I respect him in a way. I've come to think he's a necessary evil in a city like Gotham."
Joker leaned back in his chair, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Interesting," he said, his voice laced with sarcasm. "You don't like him, but you respect him? And why is that, Jack? What do you find respectable about man who dresses up like a bat and beats up other men in costumes?"
Jack hesitated, no longer sure of what Joker wanted to hear.
Suddenly, the door burst open, and Batman burst into the room. Ryder breathed a sigh of relief, grateful for the Dark Knight's arrival. But before he could even process what was happening, the Joker pulled out his gun and pointed it directly at Ryder's face. Ryder could feel his heart pounding in his chest.
"Joker, don't!" Batman shouted at him as the Joker pulled the trigger.
A small red and white flag popped out the end, the word 'BANG!' written across it. The Joker cackled with laughter, clearly finding the situation amusing.
Jack Ryder stared in disbelief at Joker's gun emitted a small flag with the word 'BANG!' written across it. He couldn't believe it; the weapon had been fake the entire time. Was this some kind of sick joke? As Batman apprehended the Joker, Ryder sat there in shock, trying to understand what had just happened. Ryder's confusion and stunned silence spoke volumes.
"Oh, Batsy, have you met Ryder?" Joker didn't seem to care that he was about 30 seconds from being dragged off to Arkham. "He brings you up on his show all the time."
"I- um, I really don't." Ryder stood up from his chair.
"Don't let him lie to you, Batsy; he does." Joker insisted, not even resisting the dark knight as he grabbed him. "I'm so glad I could introduce you two."
"Shut up, Joker." Batman growled.
"No, really, I think you two would get on just great." Joker kept going on and on as Batman pulled him away from Ryder.
As Batman led Joker out of the room, the madman still talking, Ryder slumped back in his chair, his mind reeling. "…batman just saved my life." He was still just trying to process. He couldn't believe he had just survived a hostage situation with the Joker, had been forced to interview him, and, to make matters worse; Jack was saved by the man he had once called a 'slap in the face to law and order.'
Then he realized the microphones were still on.