Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Darkness clung to the snow-laden pine trees as monsters skulked through the weak patches of moonlight, hiding away from the lone torchlight that bobbed between the evergreens. A lone piglin stalked through the taiga, bathed in a blazing orange glow as they scanned the landscape, frustrated snorts sending plumes of steam through the frosty air. Their blood-red cape billowed in the wind.

I hate this place. Technoblade thought as he stomped snow out of his hooves, which only served to pack in more. Walking home through the taiga was always such a tiresome experience; it was faster and more convenient than going around, but that didn’t mean it was enjoyable. And, during the night, when mobs stalked behind him in the gloom, Techno constantly had to avoid lumbering zombies, sharpshooting skeletons, and spiders that would ambush him from the treetops. Ordinarily, he’d travel in the early afternoon, enjoying the sunshine. But, today, he stayed late to deal with a bout of rot that ravaged much of his giant potato farm; dirt still clung to his fur in some places.

Techno effortlessly struck down a lone zombie, flicking the rotten blood off his silver blade and recoiling at the sour smell. He sighed, knowing it would take days to get the stench off his sword. He carefully stepped over the corpse and continued. Distantly, the howls of a mob horde echoed through the trees.

Techno’s condensed breath blasted back into his face as the wind picked up, kicking up a flurry of snowflakes that coated him in a thin layer of sparkles. His skin was starting to prickle from the biting cold. Why in the world did I decide to build my farm so far? Techno knew why. He’d already filled the original farm by his cabin to the brim, and the only flat land large enough to satisfy him lay outside the taiga. Maybe he should’ve listened to Phil. The blonde did say he was too headstrong after Techno explained his need for several gargantuan potato farms.

“It’s just not enough, Phil,” Techno said severely. His friend just laughed in amusement. “What happens if there’s a food shortage, huh?”

“I don’t think that will ever happen,” Phil sighed. “But, if it makes you happy, mate, go for it.”

Techno’s ears perked up, catching that previous howl in the air, now paired with the rattle of bones and mandible clicks as he approached. The piglin snuffed his torch in a snowbank, softening his steps as he got closer; now that his eyes adjusted to the low lighting, Techno could see the mobs crawling over each other, trying to reach something in the center of the horde. He raised an eyebrow. Bits of flesh and organic bits littered the perimeter. Whatever it was, the mobs were injuring themselves just to get to it. 

The piglin brandished his sword and cut down the first few mobs in front. The horde didn’t even look his way. He managed to get through a good few before some noticed his presence and lunged. They quickly fell beneath his hooves. Now that Techno was closer, he could see what the mobs were congregating around. Dodging past spider legs, arrows, and heavy-footed zombies was a little black-and-white blur, and when it tripped over its tiny feet, Techno got a good look at what it was.

A baby. 

And a baby enderman at that, judging by the dark skin and faint particles floating around it, though it had some form of albinism that turned parts of its skin and hair whiter than snow. Purple blood that smelled of fruit oozed languidly from wounds on its skin. Curiosity thoroughly peaked, Techno waded through the monsters, striking them down while training his gaze firmly on the baby. Despite their injuries, they deftly avoided swift strikes from spiders, chirping in distress when an arrow grazed their side. The piglin glared at the offending skeleton, stomping over after tossing a zombie over his shoulder. As he passed, the baby enderman caught his eye, staring at him in awe as he crushed the skeleton’s skull with the flat of his blade, turning on his heel to cleave a leaping spider in half before it could attach itself to him, splattering gore all over a tree. After seeing their fallen friends (or maybe enemies; they were attacking each other moments before), the rest of the mobs turned their attention off the baby and onto Techno, snarling and snapping. He cooly flicked the blood off his brand; at the prospect of battle, previously whispering voices began to pick up in volume, chanting for death. 

A skeleton knocked an arrow. Techno rolled his neck. The arrow whizzed by his ear as he ducked, disappearing into the night. He surged forward, thrusting his sword out to impale the skeleton’s ribs, crushing them into dust. Techno faintly grunted when he felt a weight on his back and needle-like fangs pierce his shoulder; it took minimal thrashing to dislodge the spider and crush it with his hoof into the snow, staining the ground arctic blue.

He lost count of how many mobs he felled, but it wasn’t long until the entire clearing had blood and creature bits all over. The voices were still chanting but far quieter than he expected, making it easy to shake off the buzz of bloodlust; usually, they’d be screaming in his ears after a massacre like that. Now, they were murmuring to themselves about the baby.

Right. The child.

Techno slowly turned around, meeting the gaze of the small enderman, who had curled itself in a small snowdrift. He couldn’t tell if it was amazed, terrified, or a mix of both. Its wounds were still oozing, staining its white skin and the snow a pale lilac.

injured

abandoned?

poor baby

He couldn’t help but frown. What in XD was a baby enderman doing alone in a taiga forest? Endermen were a common sight, wandering around various biomes in their large hauntings, but their offspring were much harder to find. And if someone did catch a glimpse of one, they never lived to share their discovery. Techno didn’t notice any endermen on his way here, nor did he spot signs of their presence. He doubted it was left behind. 

family killed

alone

E

hunters

The voices echoed his thoughts. It was the only plausible reason he could think of; endermen don’t exactly have a habit of leaving their children in a snowy forest. 

Techno, realizing he’d been silently staring, snorted and shook his head, disturbing some frost that accumulated in his fur. It began to snow. He sheathed his sword and took a tentative step towards the baby. It did not move. He took two more steps, and it suddenly squeaked, hunkering down in its snowdrift with wide eyes. It was clearly cautious of his presence. To be fair, he did obliterate an entire horde of mobs with minimal injury, his sword still dripping with multicolored blood. He quickly sheathed it.

“Um…” Techno’s snout curled. “Don’t… don’t be scared.”

nice

Shut up. Techno snapped at the sarcastic voice. He must’ve made a face because the baby enderman tilted its head, trilling inquisitively. It seemed curious about his next move.

There was a long stretch of awkward silence before the piglin finally shrugged off his mantle and placed it on the ground, crouching low in the snow beside it. He patted the cape, silently beckoning it to crawl on.

“‘M not gonna hurt ya,” Techno murmured, reaching a hoof out.

Blinking slowly, the baby stood from the embankment, clumsily waddling toward him on all fours. Techno patiently waited until it planted all its limbs on his mantle before gently scooping it up, swaddling, and lifting it to his chest. It squealed, squirming in its confines. The moon’s light reflected in its dilated pupils.

Baby acquired!

totally not kidnapping™

It’s not kidnapping if we can do better

Techno rolled his eyes, turning and stalking off into the snow-laden trees.

Yeah. Better. Wouldn’t that be something?

Chapter Text

Techno sighed as he stepped into the comforting warmth of his cabin, shuddering at the sudden rush of heat. The baby enderman churred, glancing around the cabin space with inquisitive eyes. It had remained quiet for most of the trek back, only making the occasional noise when Techno reacted to something or it noticed a figure slinking through the trees. And the voices, despite knowing the child could not hear them, cooed and gave the baby sweet nicknames.

Babyboo <3

little baby boi

Little allium :3

Techno endured this for the entire trip home. 

“Hush,” he finally said after another round of loud giggles, startling the baby. “No more cutesy nicknames, please.”

admit it, you like them

I really don’t. Techno shook his head, shrugging off his sword belt to place the sheath against the couch, walking into the center of the living room to set the baby down, leaving it swaddled. He could feel its burning gaze on his neck as he crouched down and ignited a torch, throwing it and a few stray logs into the fireplace. Flames roared to life, lighting the room in a cozy glow and making the already warm space stiflingly hot. He turned and pointed at the enderman.

“Stay here,” Techno firmly instructed, though it didn’t seem like it was going anywhere. He stood, shuffling out of the living room and only looking back a few times to ensure the baby wouldn’t budge. It didn’t move an inch. Techno treaded to the back of the cabin into the bathroom down the hall. Turning on the lamp, he leaned down to open the cabinets. After a moment of looking, he found a dusty and unused medkit huddled in the back corner behind some cleaning supplies. Techno worked it out, only coughing a little at the disturbed dust. 

Techno left the bathroom but kept the lamp on. He peeked over the edge of the couch when returning to the living room. The little enderman peeped at the sight of him, rolling over in the swaddle, only to land on its face with a distressed squeal. Techno snorted, the corners of his mouth ticking slightly upward.

The piglin moved around the couch to the baby, gently rolling it onto its back. He placed the medkit down beside him as he sat, crossing his hooves, and steadily unwrapped the swaddled child, slowly moving so he didn’t accidentally spook the poor thing or injure it further. Techno’s mantle had little patches of lavender soaked into the fabric, and the sickly sweet smell of their blood hit his nose. It stuck to the baby’s wounds as he pulled it away. The edges of some cuts had already started to scar over.

“Alright…” Techno’s hooves hovered for a moment as he assessed the damage. They didn’t look as awful as he initially thought in better lighting, but they didn’t look wonderful either. He also noted that their skin was more of a smoky gray, with the darkness of the night making it look pitched. “Try not to move too much.” He murmured.

The little enderman tilted its head and watched as Techno emptied the medkit, taking out a bottle of disinfectant, medical tape, and bandage patches. As he placed the items on the ground, the enderman picked up each object to inspect them, sniffing and turning them over in its tiny hands. 

it?

Techno stopped what he was doing. Unconsciously, he’d been calling the little enderman an ‘it’ since he found them, not giving it a second thought. He knew enderman were a sentient species, though. It would be offensive to keep saying so, even if it were in his mind. 

“Them it is, then,” he mumbled, stealing the bandages from a tiny hand. “At least until I learn your name.”

Little allium!

“That’s not-” Techno stopped again, rumbling in distaste as the voices snickered. It would get annoying just calling them ‘the enderman,’ ‘the little enderman,’ or even ‘the baby’ after some time. So, reluctantly, he’d go with Little Allium for now. But only until he learned their actual name. 

Techno grabbed the disinfectant and Little Allium’s hand, carefully lifting their arm. He looked them in the eyes once, aimed, and sprayed the disinfectant on a wound. Little Allium screeched, jerking slightly in his grasp out of surprise and pain, ears pulling back. Techno could only mumble soft apologies as he taped a patch of bandages to the cut, tapping it to check it was secure. Little Allium braced with a flinch when Techno lifted the bottle again, looking away. Techno moved as fast as he could, keeping the ordeal under ten minutes to keep Little Allium from getting too agitated. The last thing he needed was a wailing baby on his hands.

Techno put away the medical supplies he finished, checking over his work. No blood was soaking through the bandages, and they didn’t seem to irritate Little Allium, so he could consider it a job well done. He thought about giving them a regen pot for good measure, but he could do that later. For now, he was tired, and Techno was sure Little Allium must be too. 

“Okay,” Techno groaned, wrapping his cape back around the baby. “Time for sleep.” He closed the medkit, picked it and Little Allium up, and trundled out of the living room. 

The piglin left the medkit on the bathroom sink, flicking off the lamp. Little Allium shifted in his grasp, twisting and turning to try and get a good look at the hall around them. There wasn’t a whole lot to see. 

“Stop wigglin.” Techno huffed, poking them in the forehead. They made an offended squeak and shook their head, throwing strands of hair into their face. 

There was an extra room directly across from Techno’s at the end of the hall. It wasn’t technically a bedroom since he rarely had anyone over, and he used it more as a storage space, but it was good as a temporary sleeping spot. He could set up a makeshift bed with his mantle - Little Allium seemed to like it - and Techno didn’t have to travel far if anything went wrong during the night.

Techno opened the door to the spare room, flicking a lever to turn on the dimmed ceiling lights. Unfortunately, there was no bed frame, but hidden behind some chests was a half-broken shulker box. Techno glanced down at the enderman snuggled against his chest. They were small enough to fit comfortably, and his mantle would provide the warmth needed. Therefore...

Baby in a box

Baby in a box.

The piglin walked over and nudged the box away from the chests, pushing it to the middle of the room. Techno placed Little Allium in the lid and unraveled the swaddle. Released from their temporary prison, Little Allium chirped, rolled onto their stomach, and lifted themself in their box bed to stare at Techno. He furrowed his brows. Were they waiting for something? 

“Uh…” Techno scratched the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah. Here’s a bit of regen.” He squatted down, fishing through his inventory until he found a regeneration potion and popped off the cap. He nudged Little Allium’s chin with a hoof, bringing the drink to their mouth. They drank it slowly, nose wrinkling at the slightly sour taste, before licking their lips as Techno pulled it away, churring. 

“I’ll give you the rest tomorrow,” Techno said, stuffing the remains of the potion back into his inventory. He stood. “If you can understand me, which I really hope you do, I’ll be right across the hall, okay?” Techno pointed to the other doorway, looking into Little Allium’s dual-colored eyes. “Right there. So don’t freak out or anythin,’ alright? I’ll come and get you in the mornin.’” He stared for a second longer, searching for an inkling of understanding in those big, doleful eyes. He found nothing but a wide-eyed, aimless gaze. 

Techno sighed. I’m not cut out for this. 

Techno left the spare room with a final glance, shutting off the lamps. Little Allium’s eyes shed a soft glow in the darkness, still staring at the piglin as he pulled the door until only a sliver was left. He retreated to his room. 

The familiar sight of his sizable bed tucked into the corner made Techno rumble, legs tugging him over to the bundle of blankets. He flopped down onto the bouncy mattress, relaxing into the softness. His snout squished against the pillows. 

Outside Techno’s window, the wind howled and shook the glass, signaling an oncoming storm. As his heavy eyelids slowly began to close, Techno thought about what he would do during the days he’d be stuck inside while the blizzard passed. He was not very experienced when it came to childcare. He built his cabin in the middle of nowhere to get away from people, and he had long since decided never to have any children, deeming them far too much for him to deal with. And yet, here he was.

Oh well. Techno could worry about all that tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Techno’s head nearly hit the ceiling as he jerked out of bed, awoken by a shrill screech from the other room. He almost tripped over the blanket as he hastily rolled out of bed, running into the hall and shoving open the other door. 

He didn’t see Little Allium in their box bed when the lights flickered on. It only took a second of frantic searching until Techno saw them curled into the corner behind some chests, snarling and hissing with their hair standing on end. Their pupils shrunk to slits at the sight of him in the doorway.

Nightmare?

poor Allium :( 

they’re scared

be careful Techno

Techno frowned, cautiously approaching Little Allium while keeping his movements steady. The little endermans eyes weren’t focused on him, darting around the room as if they were still lost in a dream, snapping at invisible threats. 

As Techno got closer, their gaze finally landed on him. A panicked mix between a growl and a chirp left their mouth, feet scrabbling to push themselves farther into the corner. They nearly tripped on their tail.

The piglin got on his knees to match their height. Techno carefully reached a hoof toward them. Little Allium’s eyes darted from his face to his outstretched arm, snarl faltering. It only took a second. At one moment, they were cowering in the corner; in the next, their needle-like teeth sank into his skin. Techno didn’t react. Their bite wasn’t strong enough to break through his tough skin, only serving to leave little indents behind. 

“Kid…”

Something about Techno’s voice seemed to snap Little Allium out of whatever dream world they were trapped in, pupils returning to regular size. They blinked, focusing back on reality. Upon realizing their teeth were no longer in their mouth, they quickly unlatched from Techno's hoof, slinking back into the corner with a look similar to shame.

“Hey,” he poked them in the forehead, making them chirp. “None of that. I don’t know what else happened to you out there, but you’re safe here. No chance of a monster getting to you.” Little Allium looked up at Techno as he reached out a hand. While they thought about his words, the piglin took that opportunity to check their bandages, hoping none of their wounds reopened. No splotches of blood were on the floor, and the air distinctly lacked the smell of fruit and pastries. The regen pot must’ve worked well.

After maybe a minute, Little Allium crawled out of the corner into Techno’s waiting hand, nuzzling their head into his palm with a short purr. The voices instantly went haywire, cooing and awwing and making an absurd amount of noise over a gesture so small.

Shut it. Techno hissed in his mind, already feeling the inklings of a headache pounding through his temples. The voices settled down, but only slightly. They still hummed in delight at Little Allium’s display of affection.

Techno carried them back to their makeshift bed, tucking his mantle over their body until they resembled a larva in a cocoon. Little Allium made a sound of dissatisfaction, wiggling in their confines.

“If you move too much, you’ll reopen your wounds,” Techno huffed, stilling them with a hoof. They grumbled but reluctantly stopped moving, expressing their distaste with a pout. He gave them one last pat on the head and stood, flicking off the lamps before he left the room.

Techno caressed the back of his neck, heaving a belly-deep sigh into the air. So, a nightmare. They don’t just pop in out of the blue. It confirmed Techno’s theory that something happened before Little Allium got surrounded by the horde. An event or altercation that separated them from their haunting. Judging by their reaction, it could have been an attack by another haunting or a swarm of mobs larger than the one he encountered. Then again, there aren’t many creatures that could take down a group of fully grown endermen. Except, well… except hunters. Inexperienced, new, and ignorant hunters who didn’t know endermen were an intelligent species and mistakenly attacked them during the night. The voices picked up in volume, calling for the blood of those potential hunters as vengeance. Rubbing his temples, Techno sat on the end of his bed. There was no way to know if it was hunters or something else entirely.  Not unless he had some sort of mind-reading, hindsight-type ability.

The voices quieted.

Techno leaned back onto his elbow, glancing at the frosted glass of his window as snow blew by. He knew from personal experience that the nightmares might get worse, which would be an unideal situation.

The piglin fell asleep above his blankets, thinking of possible solutions to Little Allium’s nightmares.

-+;—;+-

The next time Techno woke up, the snowstorm had slowed to a gentle flurry, with piles of snow gradually building up on the windowsill. Blinking groggily in the darkness and rubbing his eyes, Techno wondered what interrupted his peaceful dreaming. Suspiciously, the voices giggled and whispered to themselves, speaking too softly for the piglin to understand their words. 

“The hell are you…”

His voice trailed off as Techno peered down and noticed an unfamiliar lump atop his chest. The wad shifted at the sound of his voice, and with a quiet chirp, the eyes of Little Allium met his own. 

They stared at each other for a long, silent moment, letting their sleepy brains catch up.

Steadily, Techno sat up, forcing Little Allium to roll off his chest and into his lap. The little enderman grumbled at the disturbance but stopped when they noticed Technos’s raised eyebrow, ears twitching. 

“Kid…” he mumbled, voice still rough with sleep. “What’re you doin’ in here?” 

Little Allium made a low noise as their eyes trailed away from him, looking only mildly embarrassed. Techno closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and slipped his hands underneath Little Allium’s arms to lift them off his lap. He swung his legs over the bed and stood, stretching out his hooves. He carried them back to the spare room. He nearly walked into the doorframe in his groggy haze.

The piglin, not bothering to turn on the lamps this time, set Little Allium back in their box bed. They looked up at him through their eyelashes with a somewhat awkward expression, claws kneading at the fur of his mantle. Techno rubbed his eyes.

“Listen, Allium. I know you’re a bit freaked out from the nightmare, but you can’t sleep on m’ chest like that,” he explained carefully. The enderman's eyes went to the floor. “I don’t want to roll over on you or somethin.’ So you have to stay here. Okay?” He pointed to the box bed. “Here.” He still had no idea if they could understand, though judging by their pouty expression, they got the gist. 

Let them sleep with you technoooo

don’t be mean to Allium >:(

comfort arc

dadnoblade

I’m not bein’ mean to them. Techno defended before the voices could begin their tirade, exiting the room. It’s for their safety.

Liar

boooo

Techno rolled his eyes. “Oh, whatever, it’s not up to you.” Adamant protest followed his statement, but he pushed their annoyance to the back of his mind, letting them scream into the void.

Techno lumbered into his room for the third time that night and let himself fall face-first onto his bed, letting out a long-winded groan into the comforter. Despite waking up only a few minutes earlier, he felt wide awake, glaring at the opiate window as if the frost would have the answer to his problems. 

This is why he didn’t want to have kids. He knew very well what came with making or adopting a child, especially one as small as Allium; while Techno didn’t know their age, he could assume by their size and lack of speaking that they were pretty young. And, of course, Techno had no time to prepare for their arrival. But why would he? It was a spontaneous decision to take Allium home, and he never, not even during the holidays, had people over at his cabin; why the hell would he be prepared to take in a baby? Gods, he was such an idiot. He should have just taken them to the nearby village and let the villagers handle it. Then, maybe he wouldn’t be awake at who knows what time in the morning, regretting his life choices and wondering why it had to be him who found Allium. 

If not you, then who else? A traitorous part of his mind whispered. They would have died without you. Do you seriously regret helping them?

No. No he didn’t. Techno just regrets that he couldn’t be better for the kid.

A cabin in the woods is no place for a growing child. Especially not with someone like me.

The voices, as always, disagreed with his statement. 

What do you mean, someone like you? They asked, prying for an answer.

Techno grumbled and rolled onto his back, letting their whispers fade into the background. 

He didn’t want to answer that.

-+;–;+-

They’re back

aww how cute

does he even know they’re there?

shhhh

Techno didn’t bother opening his eyes this time, feeling the slight weight of another being above his heart. He couldn’t bring himself to care, move, or grumble to coax Allium off. He instead focused on the rapid yet gentle breathing, the tickle of hair on his sternum, and the almost unnoticeable sound of purring to lull himself back to sleep.

He didn’t even notice that the storm was over.

Chapter Text

Techno grunted as a small hand bopped him on the nose, pushing against his snout and jerking his head back and forth. He tried to turn away from the onslaught, but he couldn’t twist his head far enough to avoid it.

He finally snapped after a particularly hard slap along his muzzle. “Alright, I’m gettin’ up,” Techno was thankful Allium’s claws weren’t super sharp, or else he’d have some nasty scratches. “Demon child. Why are you even awake this early?” He asked as he sat up, moving the baby out of his lap so he could swing his legs over the side of the bed. While doing so, he caught sight of the clock on his wall.

12:23

Oh. It was a little after noon.

Techno looked down, meeting the gaze of Allium, who tilted their head in curiosity.

“I’m glad you can’t read a clock.” He said. The voices cackled, but Allium emitted a low buzzing noise and bumped their head against his side, tiny horns poking Techno’s skin. Against his better judgment, the piglin softly patted their hair, immediately regretting it when the voices picked up in volume.

Techno picked up Allium and cradled them in the crook of his arm, standing and walking to his door. He put them down just outside of his room.

“Wait here a sec,” He said, tugging the door closed. In his haste to get home and help Allium, Techno hadn’t bothered to change out of yesterday’s clothes, and he’d been made aware of that fact by the crusty feeling of dried blood clinging to his fur, along with the slight stench of zombie guts. Sifting through his closet, Techno looked for a suitable shirt for lounging around. He eventually settled on a white cotton sweater embroidered with potato blossoms. 

Techno slipped off his shirt with a grimace as the fabric tugged on newly formed scar tissue. It was covered in dirt and gore, and blood stained the material a bright red by the two clean puncture holes at the shoulder. Techno clicked his tongue and threw the ruined shirt off to the side, pulling on the sweater. No reason to sweat about it; he could get a new shirt later.

Techno opened the door to his room, startled to find Allium sitting right where he left them, their short tail waving lazily behind them. Their arms raised as he leaned down to lift them, carefully holding them against his chest. Allium tugged on the threads of his sweater.

“Don’t do that. You’ll make the stitching come undone,” Techno pried their little fingers off his sleeve. Allium squeaked and left his sweater alone to play with his hair instead.

He brought them into the hall, hesitating by the bathroom door. Should Techno clean them now or after they eat?

The faint image of golden hair and bright blue eyes floated to the front of Techno’s mind.

After. Definitely after.

The fire in the hearth had long since died hours ago, leaving the smell of smoke and ash in its death, contrasting the glow of sunlight streaming through the windows. Layers of frost covered the glass, and the outside was a blank landscape of freshly fallen snow. Techno always liked how the world looked after a storm. New, untouched, and perfect. It gave the cabin a wonderfully cozy feel.

Allium twisted in his hold, trying to look out the windows while Techno placed them on the couch, crawling over to the arm to get a better view.

“I’m goin’ to make breakfast,” Techno said. “Don’t run off. I probably won’t come after you.” He didn’t get a response and didn’t wait for one. He could focus on making the food if Allium was preoccupied with the snow, at least for a little while. He wasn’t sure how long staring at a blank white sheet could keep a child entertained.

Techno started rifling through his cabinets. Alright. Option one; potatoes. Obviously. They’re filling, versatile, and easy for a young kid to eat. Only potatoes wouldn’t be a very healthy diet though, as much as he’d like to disagree, and Allium would need more to help them grow. Fibrous fruits, high-protein meat, and things packed with vitamins. 

Techno grabbed a towel to carry all the food items he’d picked and returned to the living room, surprised to find Allium still staring at the snow. They turned to look at him as he plopped down on the couch.

“Alright, I’ve got food,” he unfurled the towel and put it on the floor. Little Allium crawled down from the cushions, only needing minimal assistance from Techno, and sat by the towel to inspect the food. 

They started with methodically picking up and turning over each item in their hands. They’d glance at Techno every once in a while as if searching for his approval or guidance, then go back to their inspection when they got none. It took a good few minutes or so before they finally sniffed and bit into a strawberry, rolling the taste on their tongue; Techno actually flinched at the sharp shriek that they emitted when they swallowed. The berry was gone in seconds. 

Including the leaves.

Allium either didn’t notice or didn’t care and consumed the rest of the strawberries in record time. There wasn’t even a drop of juice to suggest their existence.

hungry baby

damn bro devoured those strawberries

Little Allium moved on to a carrot and happily scarfed it down, not even pausing to take a breath until they got the last floppy leaf into their mouth, a series of happy chirrups and purrs erupting from their chest. Techno leaned forward with his mouth open but didn’t get a word out before Allium was halfway through a loaf of bread. He expected them to stop there but they just…

Kept…

Eating.

In less than fifteen minutes, Little Allium had gone through the whole pile of food, though pointedly avoided the meat products. There wasn’t a bit, speck, or crumb left of anything they ate on the towel. And they came over to Techno like they wanted more. 

“What the hell…” the piglin murmured. Allium bounced on their toes while whining, blinking at him with big puppy dog eyes. The voices cooed because, of course they did, and Techno begrudgingly handed over a few potatoes from his inventory. Allium barked - a new sound that had Techno raising his brows - and happily devoured the potatoes. They asked for more once they finished.

It took three more potatoes and a carrot before Allium eventually left Techno alone. Or, they stopped begging him for food. They ended up curled between his arm and his stomach, sleeping off the banquet they’d just eaten. Techno could feel their content purrs vibrating on his skin. Techno rested his chin on the arm not currently being used as a pillow. 

black hole child

Techno snorted quietly.

Chapter Text

It’s been nearly a week since Little Allium entered Techno’s home, and they’ve already caused some problems. Number one being their insane restlessness and tendency to tear things up. 

Today it was his sword handle. He wasn’t even sure how they got to it, but when he woke up one morning, the bandages were chewed and ripped beyond repair, left in frayed ribbons on the spare room floor. It took about an hour to find and rewrap it with fresh bandages (he forgot he kept the spares under his bed). Allium hid from him the entire time. 

“How’d you manage to drag a fifteen-pound sword in here without me noticing?” Techno said once he found them in their box bed. They crawled further under his mantle, chittering lowly. “C’mere,” He fished through the pile of cloth until he felt a small body and lifted Allium out of the bed. “We’re going out.” 

As he prepared to head into the cold wilderness, the voices helpfully supplied suggestions for what he could give Allium, though most of them consisted of sticks and rocks. They’d upgraded to pine needles and moss when he’d tugged on leg warmers. By the time he had his mantle, child, and sword in his hands, they finally suggested something that could actually count as a toy.

“A bone dreamcatcher?” Techno murmured. He stepped outside, squinting into the white expanse. The sun had melted some spots, letting small patches of browned grass peek through, and there was a trail of rabbit prints leading into the woods.

It’ll protect them from bad dreams!

or they could hit it

like a cat?

It was a better idea than what they’d suggested before. It would give Allium something to chew on or bat around that wasn’t his sword or an unlucky sweater. Techno could imagine Phil scolding him for even considering giving a child a bone for a toy, but he didn’t exactly have many options. It wasn’t like he’d walk to town just to get a teddy bear that wouldn’t last a day. A bone could at least hold up against their oddly strong teeth.

“Right,” Techno scanned the line of trees ahead of him. “Where to first?” 

Allium purred and stretched in his grasp, turning their head to the crisp air. They curled back into his arm after a moment and reached for the woods directly in front of the cabin, giving him an imploring look. Or, as imploring as a baby could manage to look. Techno frowned. The place they pointed was the direction he found them in, minus a few turns here and there. After the whole fiasco with the horde, he expected they’d never want to go back. Not intentionally, at least.

“If you say so.” Yes, Techno was going to trust the judgment of a small child, and yes, he might regret it later. Despite living out here for many years, he didn’t have the same ‘survival instincts’ many other mobs, like endermen, had. Not for the Overworld, anyway. Going anywhere that wasn’t his potato farm had him turned around more than once. So, if he had to follow the will of a kid of unknown age to not get lost, so be it.

Techno started the way to Allium's chosen direction, grimacing when the snow dug between his hooves, biting at unprotected skin. They curled close in his arm, hiding most of themself away beneath Techno’s cape with a yawn. 

Wish I could do that.

The sun filtered through the pine branches of the evergreens, sending rays beating down on the two as they walked through the forest in search of a bone. Techno always preferred the taiga in the day. While the moonlight had its merits (other than the mobs) the way the sun made the fresh snow glitter and cast a golden glow across the landscape couldn’t be paralleled. He’d often see wildlife wandering around, like the pair of wolves Techno spotted watching him from around a boulder. Instinctively, he pulled Allium a little closer. The little enderman chirped in confusion.

maybe they have bones

I saw blood

As voices whispered about blood in the back of his mind, Techno slowed his stride, keeping his eyes locked on the wolves. If he were alone, he’d march right up and see if there were any spare bones from their feast. But now… well, now he’s got a child cuddled to his chest, and those wolves looked disturbed at his presence. He didn’t want to risk an attack. Would he wait for them to leave? But what if that took all day?

Techno’s loud snort made Allium jump in his arms. Where did this sudden apprehension come from? Two wolves were nothing; two wolves couldn’t hurt him if they tried.

consider this: fatherhood

You’re worried about Allium

we can feel it bro

I’m not their father. Techno swiveled and stomped towards the wolves, ignoring their warning growls, raised hackles, and Allium’s worried chirps from his arm.

You’re never beating the allegations

He shoved the voices to the back of his mind as he brandished his sword, huffing out a plume of smoke. The wolves barked and jumped back, seemingly trapped between wanting to run from this strange creature and wanting to fight over their kill. They ultimately decided on the latter when Techno hit his blade against the boulder and quickly loped away, occasionally glancing back over their shoulders with an air of disappointment. They’d probably come back when he left.

“Alright, kid,” Techno placed Allium on the ground near the carcass. “Take your pick.”

At first, they just looked at him, blinking slowly. When Techno raised an eyebrow, Allium purred and began browsing through the bones. As they did, Techno made sure to keep an eye out for the wolves in case they gained some confidence and came back. 

Techno jumped when something bumped against his heel. Allium had picked a bone — a horn by the looks of it — and was proudly pushing it up to him. It was still somewhat covered in viscera.

The piglin leaned down to pick up Allium. We’ll have to wash that. Or maybe they can just lick it clean.

Techno, no

What? I’m sure they’ve eaten raw meat before. Techno looked down. Matter of fact, they’re eatin’ it right now. 

The voices expressed their feelings about the ethics of letting a (supposed) toddler eat the dead cow, but it wasn’t like Techno was going to stop them. Allium seemed to be thoroughly enjoying nibbling on the remaining flesh. If it meant his swords were spared, Techno didn’t care.

-+;—;+-

Techno got to work with the dreamcatcher as soon as they got back. He started by washing off any remaining flesh — much to Allium’s displeasure — and removing the marrow. He then cut and whittled down the sharp, protruding parts where the bone was shattered from the wolves’ teeth, saving some larger pieces for decoration. Allium tried to eat some and Techno had to snatch them away before the kid choked.

“ Stop it. They aren’t for eatin’, they’re for your toy.” He scolded, holding Allium away from the shard pile. They huffed.

Just let them have one?

pwetty pwease? :3

Weren’t you the ones scolding me for lettin’ them eat the leftover meat? Hypocrites.

we hold no accountability for that

“Ugh.”

He moved on to the string and feathers, both of which he had plenty of because of how many mobs appeared around his cabin. Techno knotted the feathers from largest to smallest along the curve of the horn, tying in the bone shards along the string. He had to say, even with the lackluster materials, it looked pretty good. All those years of embroidering clothes were finally paying off.

“Here ya go,” Techno handed the new toy over to Allium, who had been watching its creation with rapt attention. Their little hands grasped the dreamcatcher. It was quite a funny sight since the horn was at least three times their size, but they didn’t seem to mind. “Now you can stop stealin’ my stuff.”

Allium chirps and immediately begins gnawing on the dreamcatcher, kicking at the hanging feathers to make the shards clack together. Techno sighs.

Here’s to hoping they don’t get bored of it.

-+;—;+-

The next morning, all of the bone shards on the dreamcatcher were gone with a very suspicious amount of spit left on the strings. 

“What the fuck.”

Chapter Text

Techno slowly stirred his potato soup as he sprinkled in cayenne pepper, spreading it evenly within the broth. He brought the spoon to his lips and tasted it.

He hummed in satisfaction. Good. Techno could leave it to cook for a while. 

He wiped his hooves on a hand towel. With dinner secured, there wasn’t much else to do that night. Maybe he could catch up on some reading and finally finish those books Phil lent him. 

As Techno walked into the living room, he noticed it was quiet. Suspiciously quiet. There was a distinct absence of high-pitched chirping or the clatter of bones on a wooden floor. Techno had come to learn that quiet = bad, so he immediately began looking around for anything broken or out of place. Surprisingly, he found nothing, which was even more suspicious. 

A crisp gust of cold, frosty air brushed past Techno. The door was open.

“Ah, shit.”

The piglin stomped toward the open front door – of which, he wondered how he didn’t hear opening – and shoved it wider, staring out into the dark, snowy expanse. It was a new moon. He had to squint to even make out the forms of rocks and objects within the snow.

If I don’t find this kid within five seconds, I’m gonna leave them out here. As always, the voices argued against his statement, saying he wouldn’t dare and how they’d scream if he did.

He didn’t have to worry about their threats though, because he spotted a dark, jumping blob not far from the house's steps. When Allium turned their head, he could see their glowing eyes shining. They were staring up at the sky, wandering back and forth in the snow. Techno sighed and closed the door behind him, leaning against a wooden beam. He watched them do… whatever it was they were doing.

Allium paced on all fours. They kept in a tight circle, little tail lashing. Then they braced, chirped, and jumped as high as they could.

Which. Well. Wasn’t very far. They landed in a heap, face-first into the snow with a punched-out noise. Techno chuckled heartily, which got Allium’s attention.

“What are you doin’?” Techno asked. He walked down the steps. Allium hummed quietly as the piglin stood over them, staring at the sky past his face. They reached up and made a grabby motion, whining. But when Techno went to pick them up, they hissed and moved to the right so he wasn’t in the way. They got on their toes and stretched as far as they could.

“Are you…” Techno followed their gaze to the sky. It was a beautiful night. Out here where city lights couldn’t reach, one could see so many more stars. And without the moonlight drowning them out, they were even brighter. They had a small part of the galaxy floating right above their heads. 

And Allium was apparently trying to touch them, reaching out and jumping for objects that were millions of miles away.

“Oh,” Techno nodded. “I get it. Well, sorry to say, kid, but you can’t reach ‘em from down there.” 

Allium sat on their haunches. They looked at the ground for a moment, seemingly disheartened, before they shot up and ran over to Techno’s hooves.

“Hey, what–” the piglin jumped when Allium climbed up his leg, his side, and up to his shoulder, emerging from under his hair. Techno sighed. “You can’t reach them from there either.” He said. Allium ignored him and continued their fruitless attempts at touching the stars. The voices laughed at their antics.

“Anyway, we’re goin’ inside,” Techno said, turning to the cabin. “I’ve got to check on my soup–”

Before he could even reach the stairs, Allium made the loudest, saddest sounding noise he had ever heard. They slumped against his neck, looking at him with big, watery eyes. The voices practically melted at the sight.

AWWW BABY :(((

sadge

As much as he hated to admit it, puppy dog eyes were one of Techno’s very few weaknesses. He simply couldn’t handle it when an animal or person looked at him like that, giving in to their every whim and request.

So rightfully, he panicked a little.

“No, hey, c’mon,” he pleaded. “Don’t make that face. I have to check the soup.” Allium whined a little louder this time, slumping further down his shoulder until his hair almost completely covered them. He could only see their two little eyes and pouty expression looking back at him.

“The… soup…” Techno grumbled curses to himself but ultimately relented. “Ugh, fine. ”

The piglin marched away from the stairs and to the side of his house. Barrels and boxes of supplies were stacked against the cabin’s flank. “Hold on,” Techno said as he climbed the boxes. Snow fell on his face as he grabbed the roof’s edge, hauling himself up. He shook it off. Some got on Allium and they hissed.

It was slightly colder up there on the roof, where the wind could freely get to him. Still, Techno kicked off boughs of snow to make a spot for himself. He might be a little damp after, but oh well. As long as it made Allium stop whining.

“I heard the End has a lot of stars,” Techno said as he sat down. “Way more than up here in the Overworld. Know anythin’ about that?” He asked.

“Mmrp.” Was Allium’s only answer.

“Hm. Well,” the piglin laid back, hair acting as his cushion. “I don’t know if they have stories there, but we do. Stories about the constellations we made.” Techno sighed heavily, watching his breath curl away in the cold night. Allium leaned up and tried to copy him, though only managed a tiny puff in comparison. He laughed.

“They used to use them for navigation too,” he pointed to the brightest star in the sky. “The North star, part of Ursa Major. Like the sun, they’d use it to orient themselves because it always points north.” Techno traces the lines of the constellation, using his imagination to draw it out for Allium as he told its story. “Ursa Major used to be human. A woman named Callisto who got turned into a bear by the gods.”

He wasn’t sure if any of this was registering to Allium, judging by their silence, but Techno kept going. “That one also includes the Big Dipper. There uh… isn’t a major story behind that one. Just a spoon,” he moved his hand to the left. “And over there is the Little Dipper, or Ursa Minor. I don’t remember if there’s a tale, but they are related to Major.”

Allium settled into the crook of Techno's shoulder as he went on about the rest of the constellations they could see. The star king, King Cepheus, his wife Casseiopeia, and daughter Andromeda. Cetus, the great monster, and its conqueror Perseus. All the star signs and their messy backstories – he skipped past most of those for sake of time, and also because he forgot most of the details. Techno spent a lot of time on Orion, the great hunter, mainly because it was one of his favorites. Anything to do with hunting or warriors always piqued his interest. Techno kept going until his skin stung with the night’s chill and his throat was dry.

“Ugh, alright,” Techno threw an arm over his eyes. “I think that’s enough. I’m done. We’re goin’ inside, ki–” he looked down. Allium was curled up into a ball, fast asleep. He sighed.

“How long…” the voices snickered to themselves. “You could’ve at least told me.” They made no excuse. Techno just rolled his eyes and started his way down from the roof, moving slowly so as not to jostle the sleeping baby. Ah, he couldn’t wait to get inside his warm house, curl up by the fire and enjoy a nice, warm bowl of…

“Soup,” Techno whispered. He curled his lip and snarled. “Shit.”

He moved as calmly as he could, but with some urgency because wow, he’d really rather not have his house burn down tonight, thanks. Luckily, it seemed, Allium was a heavy sleeper and did not stir. He made it into his house and was instantly met with the acrid scent of burning food. He rushed to turn the stove off before his kitchen caught on fire.

Techno grimaced at the bubbling pot of charcoal. No soup for him it seemed. Disappointing.

Allium purred and nuzzled closer to his neck. The voices hummed in delight.

Eh. I can always make some more tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Techno flipped another page of his book, thumbing over the inked images lining each paragraph. For every page, he glanced over at Allium sitting on the windowsill. That kid was disturbingly good at sneaking away without him noticing – he didn’t need another ‘starry night’ incident or anything worse. However, they seemed fairly preoccupied with whatever was out the window. Techno chuckled. It took so little to entertain a child.

He tapped his finger on the page and checked on Allium. Still there. He went back to reading. The book was about legends of the different dimensions. He skimmed over most of the Overworld, only stopping briefly at creepers, and went straight for the Nether section. He didn’t get much opportunity to hear the tales from word of mouth, so he read as many books as he could; a habit instilled into him by Phil despite the other not reading much of anything. It was funny too. He had all those shelves stocked full and yet never–

“⌇⊑⟒⟒⌿.”

Techno blinked. He jerked his head over to Allium.

“What?”

Allium turned around. “⌇⊑⟒⟒⌿.” They pointed to something outside. Techno looked around them and saw a pair of sheep pawing at the snow searching for grass. He blinked again, stunned.

This kid. This kid, who has done nothing but chirp, squeal, squeak, and make whatever other noise since they got here, just said a word. He almost didn’t register it until they repeated themself. Techno gaped for a long few seconds.

“How- wh- you could talk this whole time!?” He shouted, slamming his book shut. Allium jumped. The voices scolded him for yelling, but he was too focused on this new development. Techno stood and walked over to pick up Allium.

“Say it again,” he demanded. Allium only chirped in feigned ignorance. “No, the word. Say the word again.” The child remained stubbornly silent, staring blankly at him like they didn’t understand. Techno narrowed his eyes.

“Fine then. Be difficult.” He said. Techno picked up his book. “I’ll figure it out on my own.”

Like he said; he reads a lot, and Techno distinctly remembers seeing something about languages in a title or some contents. He just… needed to find which book it was from. Shouldn’t be too hard.

Techno carried Allium into his room, walking over to his literature collection. He crouched down at his bookshelf, sliding the book of legends back in its place, and began scanning for the one of languages. Allium, unhelpful as ever, just wiggled in his grasp. He eventually found it on the second shelf wedged between a mobeastiary and a native plant book after looking past it several times. Its cover was a deep red gradient and dressed in fancy gold lettering, with a tassel bookmark hanging from the bottom. Languages & Traditions of the Overworld, Underworld, & Stars Beyond, was the title. There was no author. Despite its rather… austere appearance and bloated title, Techno barely recognized this book. Where did he even get this? Probably from Phil. No, wait, definitely from Phil; this is some shit he would read.

He tucked the book under his arm. Now for some… Techno turned to his nightstand. He opened the drawer and dug out a couple of pieces of paper and two pencils. 

“Alright, you little cretin,” Tencho said as he went back to the living room and placed all of his acquired objects on the floor. He sat down, setting Allium down in front of him. “No more hidin’ this from me. You’re gonna show me what you know.” 

Allium purrs, looking down at the paper and pencil Techno slid over to them. The piglin opens the book, looking for the section about the End. It was, hilariously, at the end of the novel, with plenty of hand-drawn pictures to go with the information written. Allium perked up at the sight of other endermen. 

“Yeah, you recognize them? Then you’d probably know…” he flipped through pages until he saw an alphabet codex. “...these too, right?” he showed them the page. Allium leaned forward. They looked for a long while before reaching over to press their hand on the symbol for ‘R’ repeating it quietly. 

Techno huffed. “So you do know. Alright, then, write your name,” he nudged the pencil into their hand, guiding it over to their paper. “Your real name. I can’t keep callin’ you Allium or whatever.” The voices argued that they would continue calling them Allium, regardless of the circumstances, and Techno scolded them. ‘Allium’ was just a placeholder. It wasn’t fair to keep calling them by a fake name, especially after being told their real one. 

Allium holds the pencil, which was comically large compared to them, hovering over the paper. They looked like they were hesitating. Techno almost thought they didn’t know how to write until they found their grip and started scribbling letters onto the page. It was slow and their hand was extremely shaky. But they managed. A total of six letters made it before they stopped and showed the paper to Techno.

⍀⏃⋏⏚⍜⍜

“Hm,” Techno put the name next to the codex. “So it’s R-A-N-B-O-O… Ranboo?” Sir Technoblade had no right to comment on odd names, but it was definitely… different. It probably meant something.

Alli – no – Ranboo chirped in response to their name. Now that he listened closer, Techno noticed that certain sounds were less like sounds and more like short, one-syllable words. He could barely notice the difference though, which is probably why he was so surprised to hear something so off from the norm.

So maybe they’ve been sayin’ stuff this whole time and I didn’t know. Techno sighed and scratched his head. Maybe he should have studied more. Or just checked earlier.

So… they aren’t baby?

babies can’t write right?

Lol no of course not stupid

L

Shut

They made a good point. Though Techno did not know much about children, last he checked, most toddlers couldn’t read or write. At least, not very well. While Ranboo’s scrawl was messy, the letters were fairly consistent. And, Techno could chalk their wobbliness to the fact that the pencil didn’t fit in their hand. But there’s no way this kid was older than, like, four. They were tiny! And endermen were the exact opposite of tiny.

Or maybe they’re some type of hybrid? That would explain one half of them being lighter, and their eyes being an odd color. Techno’s never heard of a true enderman having anything but purple eyes and black skin. Then again, much information about endermen is fairly outdated because of their secluded nature, so it could very well be some adaptation from living in a snowy forest for however long. Agh, this was too much to think about. He should just focus on the language for now.

Traditional Enderian speech tends to consist of warbles and chirps, rarely branching out to anything more. But, as they transitioned from the End to the Overworld, their sounds became more complex to accommodate for the wider array of things encountered. It is very easy to tell the difference between the two dialects. Telling the difference between words in each dialect, however, may be more difficult for the untrained ear. Overworld words are more guttural, utilizing the tongue and throat more often, while traditional Enderian is lighter and breathier. Both are unable to be spoken by anyone other than enderman, as we lack the special vocal organs they use to produce the sounds of their language.

Through their paper conversation, Techno learned a few things. One, Ranboo chose to be male – ‘chose’ being his exact words, which Techno found odd, but didn’t comment on. He doesn’t remember or couldn’t explain what happened to his previous guardians, or where he came from. He didn’t know how old he was, which again, Techno found extremely strange. How does a kid not know how old they were? As for their verbal conversation, it took nearly an hour and a half of repetition, writing, and rewriting, but eventually, Techno figured out a few words. He got ‘yes’ and ‘no’ and ‘what?’ and ‘maybe’ with a few random ones mixed in for flavor. But, those were the only words from traditional Enderian he could distinguish. Everything else just sounded like a mess. 

“Guess that’s the best we’re gonna get,” Techno grumbled after an unsuccessful attempt at deciphering a short sentence. He stretches out his aching hand. Ranboo looked just as tired as he fell, lying on his stomach with lowered eyelids. “We can stop here for today, kid. Thanks for helpin’.” Techno reached forward and gently ruffled Ranboo’s hair. He purred and leaned into the touch.

“Wanna eat somethin'?” Ranboo instantly looks more energized, perking up with an enthusiastic ‘yes!’ while accidentally stabbing Techno’s hand with his horn. “Jeez, watch it. Those things are sharp.” Techno dug into his inventory and threw Ranboo a potato. He chowed down as soon as it reached his hands.

Techno sighed and stared at the mess they left. At some point, he had to get more paper because Ranboo ran out of space, so there was a slew of scribbled-on paper and stray eraser shavings on the floor. He was not excited to clean that up.

Maybe I’ll just… ignore it for a while. He thought, lying down on his side. Ranboo, finished with his potato, crawled over to curl up under Techno’s chin, purring softly. The vibrations tickled. 

Just as he began to drift, the voices kindly reminded him that he should study more on the Enderian language if he wanted better communication. Techno kindly told them to shut up.

Chapter Text

Techno spent the next while practicing and memorizing the Enderian language – in written form since most of the verbal parts were indecipherable to him. Ranboo helped as best he could by writing out things for him to practice with. They had small conversations sometimes. Except, they never really went that far. He shouldn’t have expected anything less. Even if Ranboo could write, he was still extremely young. A certain someone Techno knew couldn’t remember the time of day if it was sitting right in front of him, so there was no way a younger Ranboo could recall entire events or people after nearly a month apart. Still, they both enjoyed it quite a bit. It gave Techno some insight into Ranboo’s developing personality. Inquisitive kid.

Today was an average, boring day. Techno lounged on the couch while absentmindedly squishing Ranboo’s face between his fingers and the voices rambled quietly about anything and everything. Somehow, their conversation shifted from toast to Phil.

Philza philza

E

when will we see Phil again? :(

Dadza

Visit your dadza

he has cool books

And cool stuff!

Dadza

I don’t need more books. Techno thought. And he’s not my dad. The voices, as always, protested. They liked Phil a lot and he hadn’t visited in a bit. But he had no reason to show up. The last thing Phil needed was an unnecessary bother.

Boo

Poor dadza

hes so sad and alone

“Oh, he’s fine,” he said. Ranboo made a questioning noise. “Nothin’.” To quell their growing agitation, Techno promised the voices he would visit Phil at some point, but not soon. He hated having to travel all the way to the city.

Okayyyy

>:(((((

if it's for Ranboo

Does Phil know Enderian??

E

Ah… no. No, as far as he knew, Phil could not understand Enderian. Or anything about endermen, really. Much of the avian’s backstory was a mystery to him and sometimes Phil would recall random bits of knowledge that Techno never would’ve assumed he knew. Truly an enigma. But endermen? Nothing. And if Techno tried to imagine a conversation between Phil and Ranboo… ugh. It’s not like he could go over and teach the guy. 

He looked at Ranboo. “Hey, kid,” Ranboo chirrups. “How would you like to learn Common?”

-+;—;+-

“Blah.”

“Nope.”

Ranboo pouted as the voices cackled, thoroughly enjoying the scene before them. He pressed a hand to his forehead.

“The word is ‘black’ kid. Bla-ck. You keep missin’ the last part.” he explained again. Like before, stray papers and books covered the floor around them. Though, this time, thankfully, teaching Common was much easier than trying to learn Enderian since the kid could already understand it to a degree. He just needed to speak it. When the time came for Techno to bring Ranboo to the city and find him a proper home, he needed to be able to express his needs. However. It seemed Ranboo was having some trouble forming the words.

Techno would have tried to reprimand the voices for laughing, but he couldn’t say much when he nearly had outbursts himself. Some of Ranboo’s mistakes were very funny. But he had to keep the kid confident, or they’d never get anywhere. 

“Try again.” Tencho urged. Ranboo sighed. And he tried again.

And again.

And again.

It didn’t matter what he said or how many times he repeated it. Fast or slow, it always came out wrong. There were no other ways Techno could explain it. He gave up after Ranboo started hissing and growling in frustration, thinking it would be good to pack it up for the day.

“Let’s just… take a break,” Techno said, rolling out his neck. As usual, the voices said their piece while Ranboo glared at the scribble-covered paper. Pure hatred. “Hey, don’t be too upset. It’s only the first day. No rush.” He said. Ranboo grumbled in distaste but withdrew his glare, staring at the floor instead. He still kicked at the paper though.

Techno lied a little when he said there was no rush. It would be better if Ranboo learned as fast as possible so he wouldn’t be in the cabin for longer than necessary. Even if Techno hated traveling, that didn’t mean Ranboo had to be stuck with him. 

philza? :)

Ugh, yes. The faster he learns Common, the faster we see Phil. He rolled his eyes as the voices cheered. Some encouraged Ranboo from the sidelines and persisted that they continue with lessons as soon as possible. 

PHILZA WE’RE ON OUR WAY!!!

YEAHHHHH

hey where’d ranboo go?

“What the—” Techno looked around but could not find the small child anywhere in the living room. Before he went into full panic mode, he spotted a gray and white spot sitting on top of his cabinets, searching for food. 

“How did you get up there!?”