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“Noah, don’t get too close.”
“He's fine, David.” Erin put her arm across Dave’s midsection, mom-style, to keep him from stopping the toddler.
“But…”
“But nothing, he's fine.”
“Daddy can I go in?” Noah asked, pressing up against the glass. With his back to him he couldn’t see the look of sheer horror on Rossi’s face. “Can I hug the bears?”
“The bears will eat you.” Rossi replied. “Of this I'm sure.”
“Can I go in Daddy?” Noah asked again, turning to look at him.
“No buddy. Those are not teddy bears. You need to stay out here with us.”
“But I like bears.” He pressed his nose on the glass as the polar bear swam underwater. “Hi, hi bear, hi.”
The polar bear, to his credit, paid Noah little mind. He was probably used to toddlers trying to get his attention. Dave, however, wasn’t used to his toddler wanting to get up close and personal with a predator. It was a hot Sunday afternoon in July and Dave Rossi was at the zoo.
He’d never been to the National Zoo before, probably for many reasons. Firstly, zoos smelled. Secondly, there were approximately 15 million kids there. There were kids of all ages, sizes, and noise levels.
One of them was his. He wasn’t the smallest or the quietest. Every exhibit and animal fascinated him…Erin had the pictures to prove it. Noah loved everything from the peacocks to the panthers. The cats seemed to be his favorites but now he was fascinated with the polar bear.
Erin took the opportunity to sit down on the bench in the shade and relax. She looked around at all the other weary parents and felt their pain. Noah had dragged her all over for the couple of hours or so. She was having fun but her feet were killing her. There was also a headache creeping around the base of her skull from the heat and hunger. She drank down half of her umpteen bottle of water and just watched Noah press up against the glass. He was three; this was fun.
“Daddy, I wanna go in.”
“No Noah, it’s dangerous.”
“Ma'am,” he abandoned his spot by the glass and came to stand by Erin. He wrapped his arms around her, leaning his little body against hers. “Ma'am, can I go and see the bears?”
“You can't swim, sweetie.” She replied, pushing his dark hair from his sweaty forehead. “Its better if you just watch them from here. Go on, go and look.”
“OK.”
And off Noah ran again. He was never going to get tired of pressing on the glass.
“Should he be pressing that glass so hard?” Dave asked.
“He’s probably 45 pounds soaking wet, David. That’s triple pane, double enforced glass. It could happen but I'm gonna go with not a chance in hell of that glass ever breaking.”
“But there's still a chance…”
“Stop.” She said, managing a smile. “I know he's going to want to see the big cats again before we go. We’ll probably make one more stop at the penguin house and to the hippos. He liked the hippos. I'm assuming the gift shop is a must for his first trip here.”
“I'm hungry.” Dave said.
“I am too. I'm getting a little headache, but I think that’s more the heat than anything.”
“We need to get out of this sun and hit the cafeteria. Noah!”
“Yes?” he turned around.
“C'mon buddy, we’re going to have some lunch. Ma'am is hungry.”
Erin cut her eyes at him when he called her ma'am. Nothing could seem to shake Noah from calling her that. It was more comfortable than mommy, that’s for sure, but something about it was strange too. Everyone called Erin Strauss ma'am. They usually did it with a roll of the eyes or a shiver in their bones.
She didn’t want to be Strauss at home…she didn’t want to be ma'am. But how do you tell that to a three year old? Even as a toddler his mother gave him manners. You called adults sir and ma'am. Still, she wished they could find a new name that Noah would take to.
“I wanna picture with the bears Daddy.”
“Oh yeah,” Erin took out her camera, already filled with photos from today’s outing and other events. “Go on over there Daddy. Let’s get one more photo.”
Dave smiled, and went over by the glass. There were kids everywhere, fascinated by the two polar bears swimming and frolicking. Erin got up and got a picture of both Dave and Noah pressed against the glass. Then he scooped his son up in his arms for another shot.
Finally he grabbed someone, an older man who was less likely to run off with Erin’s expensive camera and took a family shot. It wasn’t that bothersome that Noah wanted to be in Erin’s arms for that one. She looked slightly uncomfortable but still managed a picture perfect smile. Erin Strauss had the poker face of life.
“Thank you so much.” she took the camera and put Noah down. “Now boys, I think its lunchtime.”
“But I don’t want a nap.” Noah said.
“No nap today.” Dave said. “We’re having an adventure.”
“Yay!”
Off he went, his weary guardians on his tail keeping an eagle eye on him. Dave wanted to hold on tight but Erin stopped him, once again. They could see him; his little legs couldn’t even get him that far. Soon enough he wanted a ride and his father threw him up on his shoulders.
“David, he's too heavy.” Erin said.
“You're the one who said he was 45 pounds, soaking wet.”
“Yes, but you're carrying 45 pounds on your shoulders.”
Dave wanted to argue that if he could carry Erin, which he’d done on more than one occasion, that he could carry Noah. Somehow though he managed to figure out that was a bad idea before it came out of his mouth. Score one for the profiler. Instead he just reached for her hand, holding it to his lips and kissing it.
“Is that your way of telling me I'm wrong.”
“No, it’s my way of telling you you're right, I'm gonna do it anyway, and hoping you're sympathetic enough to massage my shoulders later.”
“If you're nice.” Erin leaned and kissed his cheek.
“I wanna kiss too, ma'am.” Noah said.
“You'll get one when we get to the cafeteria.”
“What do you want for lunch, Noah?” Dave asked.
“Cheetos!”
“Is that what you two eat when I'm not around?” Erin asked.
“It absolutely is not.”
“Mmm hmm, I believe that. What else do you want for lunch?”
“A hot dog…and juice.” Noah said.
“That sounds perfect.” She smiled, holding Dave’s hand as the cafeteria came into view.
It had been a long day, and there was more to come, but she was having a good time with the boys. Erin longed for more family time like this but also still felt like she shouldn’t get too close to Noah. It was almost too late for that. She was living with them and caring for him when his father was away. The sitter was there too but “ma'am” had become the primary parent.
She was a parent again. Life kept throwing these curveballs and she caught them. Erin was in a relationship she never thought she’d be in. It wasn’t perfect but there was much love there. She loved Dave and loved his son. They both loved her. They were a family.
***