Chapter Text
"Damn, I'm gonna lose a finger doing this..." I mutter angrily as I wipe my burnt hand on my apron. I should really get a new soldering iron before I burn off a whole limb. Unfortunately, being stuck in the barracks means I don't have anywhere to easily pick up a new toolbox. I have to live with what I've got. Sooner or later, after a few more minor burns, I've finished my little fix-up job. A nice new lightrifle for a comrade who's probably never going to come back alive.
Days pass like this. I don't get why I decided to be the resident technician. I did sign up for the military, after all. But after a while, we started to lose people. Not just soldiers, but the men behind the scenes. Cooks, doctors and mechanics. The Major decided to find the most skilled soldiers in his unit, and as a child I dabbled in robotics, so he asked me to stay behind the lines and fix things that were broken. I would've declined, but seeing how they are winning over, I'd at least like to make it through the war.
It gets lonely here in the barracks when everyone else is out fighting. Lonely and somewhat terrifying. I never know if some assassins are gonna break in and kill everyone back here, or if some bomb is going to drop and wipe us out. On the plus side, it gives me time to sit with my thoughts, especially when I'm out of work. Sometimes Braus, our cook, comes to talk to me when she's done with the dishes. She used to be on the front lines but after she nearly lost a leg to a rogue laser from the enemy, our captain tested her on her skills and abilities and accounted her as our new chef. Our conversations mostly consist of 'Who do you think will win the war?', but sometimes we talk about more personal things. She has a bit of a thing for our weaponry expert, Springer. I say weaponry expert but he's more like an explosion enthusiast. Like I said, the barracks were low on maintenance.
I think the only fully-trained person back here is Captain Hanji Zoe. She goes out to fight sometimes, but she's more of a general advisor and our best doctor on the scene. She's more enthusiastic about the human body than Springer is about big booms. When Braus nearly lost her leg, well, Zoe lost her shit.
"Let me see how the laser hit! Please? Pretty please with sugar on top? Did it sting or burn or- ooh, did it fizzle? Was it hot or cold? I must know if it hit the bone!"
She scares me sometimes. However as much as her ramblings make me want to puke, she's helped me out a lot with my own business. Although combining human biology with robotics is illegal on this side of the war, I can't help but find it fascinating how you can almost bring a whole person back to life using some scrap metal and microchips. Zoe taught me all about how it works - the way the wires connect to the nerves, allowing the patient to feel through the metal fused to their skin. It makes them almost... human, again.
Except they're not. They're cyborgs.
It's the year 2845. A century ago, humanity had a scientific breakthrough - sentient robots. It meant people who had lost almost the entirety of their body could live. As long as their DNA was there and their memories were preserved, their lifeless body could either be fused with metal to create a whole being again, or their mind would be inserted into a droid - a robot that resembled a human body, requiring a memory chip full with the life of a late someone to allow it to live.
At first, it was a godsend. Later on... Not so much. The cyborg and droid community discovered how they were superior to the humans, and the humans recognised them as a threat as soon as the first riot happened in Shiganshina. So many people died. The government made it illegal to build any kind of cyborg or droid from that day, hoping they would eventually die down if we exterminated them.
The robots kept coming. The cyborgs were still capable of reproduction, and the droids had the capacity to build and multiply. They were no longer our friends, our deceased loved ones. They were monsters we had to kill before they overcame humanity.
Today is the last day before my particular troop earns their three-month army leave and another one comes in to fight. I can go home. My home town, Trost, was destroyed by the robots early on. We reclaimed it and it's now successfully a part of human territory once more. My mom lives there, and I grew up there. I can't wait to go home and see her again. Out of this shitty hellhole for a little break.
It may be the last day, but our soldiers are still giving it their all in the battlefield. I can barely hear my handiwork as the crashes and hums of the machinery and weaponry outside disrupt the silence. We're not right by the battlefield, still a safe distance away in human territory, but the robots are being harsh today.
I dread to think how many we've lost.
On the bright side, I'm going home. The best part is that my best friend has decided to come and visit my home with me. Although I find my mother annoying, I'll admit she's a decent chef, and so my friend Marco wants to meet her. He's so sweet. I feel like we're polar opposites, honestly. Still, we somehow became best friends. I've never had much hope in this war personally, but I know that if I stay at it I might end up with a decent pay and a nice life outside of the war zone. Marco, well, he's doing this to secure the human society away from these robots.
I don't have much work to do today, so I'm lazily polishing away at a piece of scrap metal. I like how it shines in the little desk lamp I use for late night working. Seeing as not much is going on, I decide to go and clean up. My work station is a mess, and frankly, it and I stink from all the oil I've used up and the solder I've melted. After packing away my toolbox and clearing my station, I go to take a quick shower. All the showers in the barracks are in one big room, so I prefer to do it when the troops are out fighting. It makes me cringe having to stand my lanky body in front of others when I'm stark naked and covered in grime.
After washing the dirt out of my nails, skin, hair and places I hadn't expected it to turn up, I exit the shower room and pull on some clean(ish) uniform. I'm about to head into my work room again when I hear a shriek from outside.
"What the fuck happened?!" It's Zoe. I speed out into the open, almost tripping as I side up with her.
The soldiers are back.
There's so much blood. I've never seen... so much blood. I can barely tell the injured from the dead. Bodies are being held on makeshift stretchers. The soldiers are dishevelled and their cuts all seem to have a glowing rim around them. Laser fire. The robots must've advanced their weapons in a instant. I've never seen so much damage done. And on our last day, too. So many of those people were fighting with the knowledge that they'd be going home. Marco and I may be going back, but with the remorse that all our friends are dead.
Speaking of Marco... where is he?
I scan the horrific sight. I can't see anyone alive and moving who has dark hair and freckles. Nobody. Maybe he's not back yet? Maybe not all the soldiers have gotten here? I push my way into the crowd, asking everyone in sight if they've seen Marco Bodt.
All shake their head at me. I look for so much longer with no success. Where is he? He has to be here somewhere, right?
I can feel myself sweating, and my eyes filling with water. No, this can't happen. I'm desperate. I break into a sprint and start running towards the battlefield. Evidently, the battle ended some time ago because no man's land is a wasteland now. Eerie glows resonate off of damaged rubble, the laser fire still radiating.
I must look so lost right now. A mechanic roaming around no man's land. It's smoky and foggy and I can barely see. Remnants of bodies are scattered all over. It's at this point that I remember, this is no man's land. Do you want to fucking die too, Jean? I rip a section off my dirty white apron and hold it in the air, though it's not like anybody can see it. Calling a truce, I continue to search around the remains.
At the edge of an old wall, I see a freckled hand. It's still attached to its body. I run over towards it, gasping for breath. As I turn round the wall, I see dark brown hair and more freckles. It's definitely Marco. I think... maybe, he's...
For a moment there I thought his body might still be intact. That I could resuscitate him or whatever. His right arm, half his torso and half his head are missing, leaving a bright laser-induced glow around the wound. He was blown apart in an instant, it seems.
It's harder to see now. Maybe it's the fog, or that my eyesight's become hazy. I get closer, dropping to my knees and disregarding the mud that contaminates my clothes. I'm still holding up my pretend white flag, staring at the remains of my best friend. I drop the white flag. I should've been fighting at his side, not hiding away in the barracks fixing weapons. If some cyborg jumps out right now and shoots me to death, I don't even care. Kill me. Kill this selfish man who let his friend die just because he'd rather live.
I'm shaking as I get back to my feet. I feel so weak. Everything hurts. Even so, I dip down and pick up the corpse. He's heavy even when he's missing so much of his body, and the glow around his wounds burns my skin worse than the soldering iron ever has. Stumbling frequently, struggling to stay on my own two feet, I carry him back to the barracks. I was never as strong as him, emotionally or physically. That's really being put to the test right now.
Despite Captain Levi wanting the barracks as clean as possible, I carry Marco right back in there, past the horde of crying soldiers. I walk him all the way into my work station. I'm not going to let him die here, too soon, without meaning. If it means breaking the law, heck, even joining the side of the robots.
I pull out my tool kit and gather all the circuit boards and scrap metal I can muster.
I'm going to build a cyborg. Marco's cyborg.
I actually have a lot of high tech machinery here. I just don't use all of it. We have a machine for preserving dead bodies in here, but since I work on robotics and not the human body, it's never come to any use. I pick up Marco and carefully place him in. It's a bit like a cryogenic chamber, actually. It's just not safe for a living person to go inside it, thinking they can wake up in the future.
The machine lies flat and resembles a metallic coffin with a small closable window at the side. The lid at the top opens up, again like a coffin. It's a little unnerving having to place my best friend in here, to say the least. Once you shut the lid, you have a dial you need to change. It sets the intensity of the cryogenics. The lower temperatures are designed for bigger things, like entire bodies. I set it to the lowest setting. I'm not going to let him fade away on me.
There are a few bloodstains inside the chamber, so I'm liable to believe Hanji keeps all her amputated limb test subjects here. I can't be the first user of this thing, surely.
Once that's all sorted out, I go back to the drawing board. Underneath the work desk, I have a small locked chest that only I can open. I tap in the holographic code and it opens with a click. I don't keep much in there, only a couple of memoirs I'd rather not have people see - like my journal. I also keep another book in there. 'The History And Physics of Cybernetic Organisms'. Zoe gave it to me when she was teaching me how cyborgs were created. Strictly speaking, I'm not supposed to have this book in case someone gets suspicious about what I'm working on, for instance, illegally building a cyborg. That's why I have to keep it in a locked chest.
It has everything I need to know in there. All the circuits, hardware, every little part of the human body translated into robotics. I'd like to admit I'm a pretty decent mechanic, so how hard can it be? I have everything I need - apart from a few little surgery-related items. I need to be able to make this compatible with Marco's body. It needs to be able to pump his heart and lock into his brain, bringing back his mind.
As I think more into this, I start to realise I might in fact need her help. But is Hanji Zoe willing to break the law for the sake of a stupid little friendship? No, she's lost too many people. She has no time for friendship.
She isn't, however, above breaking the law in the name of science.
"Captain Zoe, you know that book you gave me?" I yell as I run back up to her, I've locked the door to my work room in case anyone starts to suspect I'm up to something.
"Book? What book? The one about cyborgs?" She responds, equally as loud.
"Shh- shit, not so loud. Uh... Yeah, that one." I wheeze out as I stop running. I haven't exercised as much as I should have in a long while and it's taking a toll on my physical health.
"What about it? Is there anything you wanna know?" She has an excited glint in her eye, despite the fact that we're still surrounded by dead and injured soldiers.
"I was wondering if you wanted to help me with something. It's something you can't tell anybody about." I tell her. I'm not tired out from running any more, but my breath is shaky. I don't know what I'm doing. Building a cyborg is punishable by death if you get caught in the wrong way.
Captain Zoe stares at me. The glint in her eye is still there. I think she knows what I'm talking about. I can just imagine her mentally screaming 'Yes! I get to build one! Finally I get a first hand experience!'. The excitement in her expression dies down quickly as she figures out the context.
"Kirschtein... Who was it?"
"So, you just want me to connect the biological parts when you're done building the endoskeleton?" Hanji paces my work room, scanning the book and my equipment with her eyes. I nod with a little grunt of approval.
"Sure, I can do that. Might be fun to see how it all fits together." She beams at me with an almost psychotic look. I'm used to that, though. Everybody knows she's a little crazy, like some kinda mad scientist.
Hanji decides to stick around while I get started on the robotics. Piece by piece, I meld together some small sheets of stainless steel to form half of a human head. I frequently walk between my work desk and the cryogenic chamber, checking to see if I have all the measurements right. I try to make it as symmetrical as I can, and gladly, I'm succeeding.
"You know, building the endoskeleton first would make the whole process faster, but whatever floats your boat." Hanji remarks, analysing Marco's body through the window on the chamber.
"I want him to look whole again." I mention quietly, half focussed on my work.
It takes me a sleepless, restless week just to finish the outer body, or shell, or whatever you want to call it. All that matters now is that I'm halfway there.
Now for the endoskeleton Hanji was so desperate for me to start on. This is where the circuitboards, the wires and any of the electrical stuff comes in. I'm pretty decent at computer stuff, so this should be easy.
I study the cyborg book until I know exactly what to fuse and how to do it. Which wires, which circuits, the lot. It's pretty ridiculous that I'm staying in the barracks on my army leave just to do something as treacherous as this. I'm doing it for him. It's not nice. It's not fun. I'm living on coffee, I've barely slept or given myself any breaks. I haven't showered once. I've hardly eaten either, and if I have it's only because Hanji's reminded me and brought me some food from the cook. Apparently, Braus has decided to stay behind too. No idea why, though.
I spend another week of sleepless nights working on the wiring and the muscles of the endoskeleton, and it's finally done.
"Is it done? Are you finally finished?" Hanji asks me excitedly when I lean back in my chair and let out a sigh of relief.
"Yep. Now I just need to hook it all up, and I was wondering if you had one of those... uhh..." I flick through the book, fidgeting slightly from stress.
"You know how some cyborgs have a computed brain instead of their usual one?" I glance at the cryogenic chamber. "He lost too much..."
"Oh, sure, I know what you mean. He'd need a new voice box too, looking at him." Hanji comments. It feels so strange talking about him like this. I feel like he should be by my side, giving me advice. Not dead in a cryogenic chamber.
Hanji runs out of the room, and comes back a few minutes later carrying a box.
"What's in that thing?" I ponder, walking up to her.
"Oh, just a few parts I salvaged. I know I have a computed memory system in here... Aha!" She pulls out a small black cuboid with a few bloodied wires sticking out. I guess they're the parts that plug into the brain, if there's any brain left. The box also has a little screwed-in door. She unscrews it to find a small button underneath captioned, 'Reset'.
"What, are you gonna reset his memory or something?" I jump, suddenly terrified. What if he forgets everything?
"No, of course not! I'm just going to erase the previous ones on here. It's like deleting old photos on a camera. I already checked everything. Some cyborg named Marcel, got killed by a freckled girl. Wasn't sure if she was a cyborg too or not, but whatever happened, this guy's in hell now."
It's daunting hearing this. She's deleting someone's life. No, I can't think like this. This 'Marcel' was just a cyborg. Nothing more. She's doing this for Marco.
She presses and holds the reset button, and a little green light flickers on at the side.
"Done! A new cyborg mind, ready to be put into use. Recycling, that's all this is." She reassures me, though I still feel uncomfortable.
Hanji's hooked everything up to the computed mind. A robotic eye and hearing sensors. I'd like it if the eye matched Marco's human one, but this one glows bright blue with no sign of a pupil or iris. The hearing sensor is hidden in the steel ear I attached to the metal half of the head. There's also a computer-generated voice box to account for Marco's destroyed natural one. It has a huge vocal range and I end up spending an hour trying desperately to make it sound like my best friend. After a while, I decide it's close enough and hand it to Hanji, who secures it into place on the endoskeleton. All the wires are hooked up the the computed mind, so all the movements should be easily controlled.
After all the machinery is in place, Hanji switches off the cryogenic chamber. I help her to haul Marco out. He looks exactly the same as when I found him, thank science. The blood from his wounds has dried too, so there's no mess to be made. He is freezing, though.
"You know, Jean, I've never worked on this kinda project before but I can guess it's gonna get messy. Just, uh.... Take cover for a while. Unless you wanna watch me plug everything into him! First I have to fuse the skin and the met-"
"No, Hanji, I'm just... I'm gonna catch up on sleep." I really don't want to see this. Not that I'm squeamish or anything, I just can't bare to watch all of this happen to the body of my best friend.
"Oh. Okay, well, I'll see you when I'm done." Poor Captain Zoe looks disappointed. I back out off the room and shut the door. A shower would really help me unclog my mind right now, not to mention I'm dirty as shit. I'm just so tired that I can't even do that. I walk to my bed in the dorm room and collapse onto it. This mattress is so uncomfortable, but it feels like heaven. I shut my eyes and everything fades away.
"Come on, Kirschtein, you're gonna miss the best bit!" I'm awoken by the excited shrieks of Hanji Zoe, who has her hands on my shoulders. She practically drags me back to my work room. Judging by the lighting outside, I'd say I was out for about three or four hours.
"What best bit?" I yawn, nearly falling over when I come in.
"This is it, Jean." She goes to stand by Marco, who's lying on the table. My handiwork is part of him now, and he looks whole again, albeit half robot.
"I'm turning him on."
Before she does so, she explains how it's going to work. The thin tubes and wires coming from to the computed mind are connected to specific parts of the brain. Through complicated technology, it can access memories and let him act as a human would. It even controls the internal organs, so his lungs (or lung, considering how he was damaged) can breathe and his heart can beat. I don't understand how the government could throw this all away so easily.
She opens the hatch at the back of his head. I fixed it there especially under her command. She reaches in carefully and presses a small button at the side of the computed mind.
It takes a few seconds before anything happens, as the heart starts to pump and his whole body switches on.
Marco's eyes flicker open.
He wakes up screaming.