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The One About Making Tony Angry

Summary:

Having the reputation of being "America's Golden Boy" doesn't usually bother Steve Rogers that much. However, when even his own teammates and friends consider him too good of a person to partake in a game involving some harmless mischief, he decides to take on the challenge to prove them wrong.

Only problem is he realizes a bit too late that he might have gotten way over his head on this one. And his attempt to show he can "play rough" as well might hurt his target more than anticipated.

Or, Steve goes too far trying to piss off Tony.

(This fic, as more to follow on this series, belongs to the same alternate universe as my fic A Red Start Glinting in the Night. It's not necessary to read that one first to enjoy this one and the other ones, but it'll give you some context about how my version of the Post-Civil War events went down. A Red Star also tells the story of an OFC named Blake –Bucky's girlfriend– that will make appearances or be mentioned in some of the fics from this series (like this one, for example). Either way, these are one-shots meant to be read as stand-alones).

Notes:

Hi, welcome! So this is a one-shot from a series about the more domestic and fun side of the lives of the Avengers.

The series is based on "prompts" (more like memes and other posts I've collected over the years from Tumblr and other sites), so I can't claim full ownership of the idea –just the expansion of it and the addition of some elements–, that goes to the original poster/s.

As I didn't save any usernames, I can't credit anyone. So, if by chance, you recognize the original idea as yours or someone else's you know (and can provide proof), please tell me so I can give you and/or them due credit. Or delete it, if you and/or them would prefer it.

I will provide the screencap of the post used as inspiration to anyone who asks to see it (I would post it with the story but I unfortunately can't).

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

Steve Rogers is usually regarded as someone who doesn’t take risks, despite whatever his best friend, Bucky Barnes, might say to the contrary. He is seen as a good man, a nice person, someone who abides by the law and a strong moral code. However, only a few chosen people know about the side he usually keeps hidden from cameras and the public eye. A side that’s far more mischievous than you would believe.

That very same side isn’t only occasionally exploited by its owner, but by those that are privileged enough to know of its existence as well.

So, it is on a fine day at the Avengers HQ that Bucky, Steve, Sam, Natasha, and Blake are having a late lunch in the lounge. The little group is trying to come up with ideas for fun things to do during the coming days, given that they don’t have any missions lined up.

They are in the middle of brainstorming ideas for games to play when one of them suggests something that makes Natasha suddenly interrupt the explanation to point out a minor issue.

“Only problem is that not everybody can play the game.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asks with furrowed brows.

“Steve “Goody Two Shoes” Rogers won’t be joining us, of course,” the spy affirms, arching a brow. “He’s too much of a righteous man to go through with it.”

Her dismissal of his potential participation leads the Captain to question her judgment, feeling a bit taken aback by her opinion on his moral leanings.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“That you would suck at it, basically,” Bucky replies instead of her.

Steve wants clarification of that vague analysis, but the rest of the Avengers present refuse to speak the truth, not wanting to get into an argument with the “Man Out of Time”. Unfortunately for them, Blake doesn’t pick up on that and –having figured out what the Black Widow meant– decides to spill the beans for the rest.

“I think they mean to say that youʼre just too nice to participate in a game that might entail being mean or doing bad things,” Summers points out with her accustomed deadpan delivery.

However, and despite the young womanʼs compliment, her words not only throw off Rogers, but they also make him feel somewhat offended. I mean, sure, the man does pride himself in upholding good values and morals, but that doesn’t mean he’s incapable of some mischief when harmless games are afoot. Especially if not doing said mischief means that heʼs left out of the experience altogether.

After all, how much harm can a little devilry cause?

Besides, although the girl is being honest and speaking positively about the man’s good character, Rogers’ insecurities are telling him that he might be being mocked by her. Especially given that Blake is still too hard to read when she wears her blank expression. And there have been instances in the past where the young lady has proven herself capable of boldness, smugness, sarcasm, and more.

“Well, I can play rough too, okay?” Steve defends, not wavering on his decision. “I can get my hands dirty when the situation calls for it. And I want in on the game, no matter what I have to do to win.”

His bold declaration of intent makes the others ‒sans Blake‒ look at each other with surprised yet amused expressions. If in the end, it was all a charade to make him want to participate in spite of whatever the gameʼs rules and objectives are, he isnʼt entirely sure, nor does he care much. His mind is already settled on proving them wrong and winning so he can rub on his faces that he ainʼt no saint like they all believe him to be.

“You sure you have what it takes, Rogers?” Natasha dares, looking the Cap square in the eye. “This isnʼt for the faint of heart.”

“Yeah, no pussies allowed,” Clint adds, putting on sunglasses all of a sudden while being indoors.

Not only the action itself catches most of the other Avengers by surprise (except for Romanov, of course, whoʼs already impervious to her best friendʼs crazy antics), but his words as well. And yes, Steve has to hold back the impulse to call the archer out for his use of foul language and point towards the “Swear Jar” atop the kitchen island, demanding the fine to be paid.

“Thatʼs a lot, man,” Sam mutters in Clintʼs direction yet his reprimand goes ignored.

“What they mean,” Bucky starts as he takes over from his girlfriend the role of appeasing translator, “is that you shouldnʼt force yourself to do something you donʼt feel entirely comfortable doing.”

“I know and I want to play anyway,” Rogers assures the group, looking at each of them in the eyes to convey his certainty. “Iʼm ready.”

“If you say so, then, letʼs play,” Natasha says, a devious smirk drawing up one corner of her lips. “But, to make it interesting, youʼll be the only one who will actually play it. The rest of us, weʼll just watch.”

“What? Howʼs that fair?”

“You wanted to play so badly,” Nat says, stressing the “so” for emphasis. “Now, deal with the consequence. You will play, and weʼll be the judges.”

“Oh, I like that,” Clint chimes in, a wicked smile plastered on his face. “Weʼll get to decide if you win or not.”

“Cʼmon!”

Steveʼs protest makes Sam defend Natʼs decision, given that the Captain did insist on playing no matter what he had to do.

“Sorry, man. You wanted it, you got it.”

“Told you it would backfire,” Bucky laments, a bit grumpy about it.

“You didnʼt say that, though.”

Blake points out the obvious, as she normally does, given that she still lacks some understanding of social cues and implicit speech, like in Buckyʼs case of trying to warn his best friend.

“It was implied, doll.”

“How so?”

Before the conversation can get derailed any further by the couple trying to sort out the subtleties of human interactions, Steve decides to interrupt and finally accept the deal heʼs being offered.

“Okay, fine, whatever,” Rogers agrees, sounding exasperated. “Iʼll do what you ask and Iʼll prove to you that Iʼm not a coward. What does the game entail anyway?”

“Not much, really,” the spy replies, unbothered by the Captainʼs sour mood. “You just have to piss Tony off.”

“What?!”

“Weʼll see how many cruel things you can say to Stark before he blows up,” she clarifies for good measure.

Hearing the explanation, Steve can do little more than stare at her in disbelief, which prompts Clint to throw his arms up as he announces: “Let the games begin!”

Turns out that Stark is chosen as the victim of the game for three main reasons:

  • Number one: the bond he has with Rogers, against all odds, is a strong and sturdy one. So it’s unlikely that whatever happens will ruin their camaraderie and friendship.

  • Number two: Tony has, as of late, been trying his best to keep cool and level-headed at all times, especially under duress. Thus, it’ll be the perfect time to try to break him.

  • Number three: as payback for all the shit he does to the rest of the Avengers on average.

That’s how the game begins as soon as the conversation between the heroes ends, with Steve being directed to wait until Tony shows up at the lounge or kitchen so he can start making jokes, comments, observations, and more in an attempt to piss him off. Naturally, he dreads knows that some attempts will have to be more aggressive than others if the softer ones donʼt work.

Still, he gives it his first try as soon as the engineer appears, with him and Natasha casually approaching the kitchen island as Tony prepares himself a cup of coffee. Meanwhile, Clint, Sam, Bucky, and Blake do their best to pretend they arenʼt eavesdropping on the conversation going on in order to judge Rogerʼs performance.

However, before Steve can even open his mouth, Natasha slips him a piece of paper over the island. One that says to use the murder of Tonyʼs parents as material. The little note even goes as far as to challenge him to do it, explicitly affirming that he “doesnʼt have the balls to do it”.

On his part, the man stares horrified, first at the paper and then at Romanov, before shaking his head vehemently. In response, the Russianʼs expression changes into a pressing one, urging him to accept the challenge. All the while, the rest of the heroes watch on, as inconspicuously as they can. And with a deep sigh, Steve finally gives in and starts asking for forgiveness even before the words leave his mouth.

“Hey, Nat, do you know how much it costs to kill Stark’s family?” Rogers asks, out of the blue and with a tentative voice, trying his best to sound normal.

He’s sitting at one of the islandʼs stools while Natasha stands not far away from him. He has his arms crossed atop the granite and she is starting to peel off a banana she took from the fruit bowl sitting in the middle of the island. At the same time, Tony was finishing off making his coffee, remaining oblivious to the other twoʼs presence until he heard Steveʼs question.

Thatʼs when the older (younger) man looks up sharply at his fellow teammate, yet chooses to remain silent. Only warning Stark gives is a nasty glare, which would translate as “donʼt you even dare”.

“How much?” Romanov replies nonchalantly, pretending not to know what’s going on despite being perfectly aware that Steve’s playing his self-imposed game.

She has to try hard in order to not smirk knowingly or start to laugh at both men’s reactions. Because not only does she find Tonyʼs testy expression hilarious, but Steveʼs fake bravado as well.

“A Buck.”

The Captain’s answer is delivered with more confidence than he thought possible ‒despite doing his best to hide his need to gulp down the apology dying to leave his mouth‒, given that he has been doubting his good judgment for a while since the game started. It would be an understatement to say that he’s regretting having pushed so hard against being labeled “too good to be bad”.

“Not funny,” Stark retorts with a clipped tone, remaining composed despite the apparent fury present in his eyes.

The joke is a low jab at a sensitive matter, despite all the time that has gone by since he initially found out about his parents’ true fate at the hands of Hydra and the Winter Soldier. Nevertheless, the reply is a warning for Steve to not push his luck, so Tony goes back to working in his lab, hoping the other male will “quit his nonsense”.

As the days go by, and Rogers keeps trying to make Stark lose it, he starts to fear that he might not make it out alive, after all.

“Solid attempt, flawless execution, and brutal topic,” Clint lists, counting on his fingers before he gives the final verdict. “Still not enough, though.”

In answer, all Steve can do is sigh deeply, close his eyes, and pinch the bridge of his nose. He knows what awaits him will be pure torture the longer he has to do it. Still, he brought it upon himself. So, unless he wants to concede defeat, heʼll have to suck it up and soldier on.

 


 

Over the course of the next days, Rogers does his best to make Stark angry, going as far as to say and do things he internally regrets. And those often lead the engineer to either dismiss the manʼs comments and actions without much thought or to engage him in pointless arguments.

Considering that Steve tends to choose the worst of timings, itʼs a miracle Tony hasnʼt snapped yet. For example, one of the Capʼs attempts took place while they were about to commence one of their regular “Avengersʼ Movie Night”, in the midst of deciding what snack to eat while watching the chosen film.

“What are you, five?” Stark asks Rogers, voice dripping with sarcasm.

The two men are standing in the kitchen, each pushing for their preferred sweet snacks to be elected for consumption.

“Yeah, five heads taller than you,” comes Steveʼs sneering reply.

Rogers takes the opportunity to continue the secret game, knowing that the insult is absurd given that Stark is barely a couple of inches shorter than him. Still, the Captain hopes that will be enough to piss off the other and make him cave in. And since they are already having a bit of a fight over a trivial matter, Steve thinks this might be his chance to finally win.

Seeing Tony’s utter silence and serious expression, Steve considers that he may have gone too far this time (despite having made crueler jokes in the past). Either that or the accumulation of all the previous times he tried to score for his game, have finally pushed Stark enough until almost making him snap.

And it’s at that very moment that Rogers realizes he’s treading on thin ice and that it might be better to just retreat and give up than to dare the other man’s ire. So, in the end, the Cap decides to opt for claiming defeat over doing something unrepairable to his relationship with Tony.

“Please don’t kill me,” the Captain begs with such sincerity –even when meant as another, more lighthearted, joke– that it even surprises him.

At that point, his worry is so evident that it gives Tony pause. The older (younger) man is trying to figure out what’s wrong with the other and he finally asks the reason why behind the aggression directed at him as of late.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I just wanted to prove that Iʼm not a ʻgoody two-shoes,ʼ” Steve confesses in a small voice before launching into a full explanation of the game.

With the truth being out, the younger (older) man can finally let out a relieved sigh, feeling the weight leave his shoulders. On his part, Tony doesnʼt know how to feel about the revelation, going through a whirlwind of emotions all at once. In the end, he settles on mildly annoyed yet impressed, not having expected Rogers to be able to pull something like that.

He has to give him credit for being so daring, especially when taking into account some of the things he said, which, of course, he wonʼt fail to bring up later. For the time being, heʼll just congratulate him for his courage and effort. He deserves it, considering that he decided to throw the towel, and also because Tony is already planning his revenge.

 

Notes:

This is tied to another one of my fics, as I said in the summary, but you would only have to read it if you want full context about "the larger" picture (like, why Bucky is part of the Avengers, who's Blake and what's her story, and why Steve, Sam, Natasha, Wanda, and Vision remained in the team).

Apart from that, this fic –as well as the others from the series– can be read as a stand-alone, without having to go through the other one.

Also, if you are interested in reading more Marvel-related fics, check out my Daredevil-centered long fic series Hell Was the Journey But it Brought Me Daredevil. It already has two novel-length completed fics posted.

Other fandoms I write or have written for are the Devil May Cry videogames franchise, the Swedish band Ghost, and the Youtuber/streamer/music artist Corpse Husband, so check my profile if you are interested in those.

That being said, thank you for stopping by and reading. Leave kudos and/or a comment if you'd like to say anything about the story. All kinds of comments are welcomed (short, long, questions, etc.), even just emojis like :) or <3 (as extra kudos).

Hope you have a nice day/evening :D

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