Work Text:
You bit your lip harder, unconsciously drawing blood. You didn’t mean to stare but they just wouldn’t stop.
And it was rather annoying.
You tried to keep your gaze on your glass, multiple times forcing your eyes down, your breathing even, minding your own business but that just wasn’t working.
You and the Batch had gone to Cid’s for drinks after a particularly long mission. You all were tired, hungry, dirty—and apparently a little testy. Or at least that is what your case was. Most of the boys sat at a table in the center of the floor while you opted for the counter. It was getting a little uncomfortable, so you thought the boys wouldn’t notice your shifting or rotating your ‘arm’ if you were a little distance away. They definitely weren’t noticing you with all those pretty girls flirting with them.
Not too long ago, (but too long in your opinion) a Torgrutan, two Twi'leks and two human women came into Cid’s bar, for what was uncertain. They spotted the table of fine young men and immediately started flirting. Even though the boys tried to brush them off, they didn’t leave. Well the boys could have tried harder, the sour thought emerged from the dark, bitter place in the corner of your mind. You couldn’t help it. You knew you were being unfair but…
“You don’t look too good.” Omega broke through the mud in your mind, concerned eyes searched your face. “Are you ok?”
That was the other reason you felt they could have tried harder. Omega was right here sitting with you. (Granted they were Cid’s patrons and she threatened you bunch often enough about not scaring people away—or she’d deduct your pay and Hunter needed every credit he earned for his squad. You knew the boys were in an uncomfortable spot but still.)
You sighed. “Thanks hun, I’m fine.” You ruffled her hair, a burning sensation creeping up from your gut to your chest. Bile rumbled uncomfortably in your stomach, mixing with the alcohol and threatening your gag reflexes with acid. Not good. It wasn’t her fault you were feeling like her babysitter just so the guys could have fun. You loved Omega and wanted to spend time with her usually; her company was always a delight. This unusual resentment had a selfish stem and you knew it. It was because those strange women were flirting openly and carelessly with the man you had fallen deep, deep down for, but never had the courage to confront. The fact that they were spending time with someone close to you that by all rights…should be yours.
Yet he wasn’t. So you really didn’t have a right to feel that way. But you did. Shocker.
“Hey beautiful, I have an idea…” the Twi’lek whispered something in Echo’s ear, causing him to blush. He let his mouth open, shocked. You didn’t have to hear what she said to know what was implied, a subtle rage now coursing through your veins. Thank the Force Omega was oblivious.
You gripped the glass in your hand.
And shattered it.
Omega gasped at the soft crackle and crink. The pieces falling all around your hand and embedding themselves deep into the thick gloves you were wearing.
“Are you alright?” Omega’s eyes were blown out, hands covering her mouth in horror at the damage your right hand must be undergoing.
“On second thought, I am heading back to the ship. Go get Bolo to play a game of Djarik with you. Or better yet, ask one of your brothers. I need some air.” You got up quickly, hiding your hand that should be bleeding but wasn’t.
Without turning around, you left the bar. So, you didn’t see the commotion you left behind.
You straddled Tech’s workbench, your own set of tools spread out before you. The tiny tools you carried with you at all times in case all the intricate wires in your false, mechanical arm needed to be fixed, fused or fidgeted with. You creased your brows in frustration, watching the yellow sparks fly as you worked the glass carefully from where it was embedded. A sewing kit was carelessly sitting at your side, as you’d have to fix your ruined glove as well. Sometimes you forgot what strength was in this arm.
You lost your right arm as a child. You’d learned how to cope with it and make it a “normal” part of your life. But a little part of you still was insecure about it so you’d always found a way to cover it up, hiding it physically and mentally from those around you, especially those closest to you. You’d only known the Batch since they came to work for Cid, but since then you grew close to them. And the closer you got, the harder it was to admit your insecurity, wondering if it would change their perception of you.
Ah crap. You felt the sharp edges pull from your false sensors and you cringed, clenching your jaw.
“Let me see that hand of yours.” A familiar husky voice broke through your brooding.
“Blow off, Hunter.”
Hunter was the only one who knew about your mechanical arm. He could smell the oil you used to keep it well functioning even though you custom made it to be without scent. His darn enhanced senses picked it up anyway, and thus you let him in on your little secret albeit reluctantly. It wasn’t by your choice how it came about…You knew he knew but he never brought it up…Until the night he found you trying to repair your arm after sustaining an injury. Your face was so red that first night he walked in on you, tears barely being held back while you tried in vain to fix it yourself in the dead middle of the night, he knew how important it was that no one knew.
“Ah, you’re just saying that.” he teased, letting the ghost of a smile appear. Hunter straddled the workbench facing you and grabbed your wrist, gently pulling it toward himself. He kept his gaze down, hyperfocused on rewiring your hand correctly and pulling the shrapnel from the fine work of machinery.
You looked up annoyed and sighed dramatically with a roll of your eyes. He smirked but otherwise stayed silent. You matched his quietness with an ante of sulkiness.
“You should just talk to him about how you feel, you know.”
“You don’t understand. NONE of you do! It’s not the same for me as it is for you guys. When men look at this, they automatically see me as incomplete and undesirable. Do you know how…how…” you choked up, swallowing hard. “You men always have an air of awe when there is a wound but a woman? I can’t tell you how embarrassing it is.”
“That’s not fair.” Hunter wasn’t one to sugar coat. “And you know it.”
You did, so you sucked on your swollen lip instead.
“Echo would understand, though. Wouldn’t you feel better being able to talk to him about some of this?”
“I know he does. He probably is the only one who does. But I don’t want to be pitied. And worse off, I don’t want him to like me just because we’re similar. I want him to like me for me…the way I love him for him.” You nearly whispered that last part.
Hunter sighed and gently said your name.
“Look, I’m sorry that we all made you uncomfortable and that we don’t understand what it is like. I really am.”
You looked up and saw his eyes searching the floor, as if it would give him the answer. His genuine concern melted your bitterness away, just like the night he’d found you.
“Hunter, it’s ok. I’m sorry too. You didn’t deserve that…I’m out of sorts and took it out on you; which was wrong. You may not understand but you’ve always tried to make me feel valued… and you never treated me differently, which I appreciate. Thank you.”
“Hey, I learned it from the best…that’s Echo, I mean. I learned it from Echo.”
A smile pulled at your lips. “Sure you did.”
You didn’t think anyone would notice your absence but it most definitely was. Everyone heard the glass shatter, Hunter immediately slipped away slyly to check on you with a quick “I got this” and Omega ran right to Echo. She initially reached out to help you but you were faster in your quick departure. He stood up so fast, with such an angry outburst, worried about what happened (you shattered a kriffing glass in your hand?!) and it frightened the ladies away.
He felt concern rising from somewhere in his chest, written clearly on his brow. He took a step but Omega held onto his hand.
“Hunter said she was ok.”
“She’s hurt, I should go check on her…”
Granted, he knew how private of a person you were. You didn’t let anyone near you—ever—when you were injured, but your hand must be torn to shreds…he winced at the ghost pain that flared up in his own. He flexed it a few times to convince himself the cold, sharp shards he felt were in his mind and not real. His hand wasn’t really bleeding. It wasn’t hurt….he took a deep breath.
Echo needed to make sure you were ok. Even if you didn’t want to be helped…
“Echo, why don’t you just talk to her about how you feel?”
Echo eyed his large younger brother but found no hint of humor in Wrecker’s question. Instead, he saw that gentle gaze of honesty in his eyes.
“Because she deserves better. Plus, she’s not even interested. I don’t want to ruin our friendship by blabbering how I feel.”
“Did you notice the glass she shattered was only after that suggestive comment was made to you. ” Tech adjusted his goggles. “She’s heard people flirt with us before on various missions and occasions. There is a special scowl that only appears when such an occurrence happens to you. She thinks she hides it well but she doesn’t. She never has such a negative reaction until you show up, Echo.”
“How is that relevant?”
“Are you asking a serious question?” Tech blinked. “Or are you trying to be jocular.”
“I literally have no clue what you are saying or trying to imply!” Echo threw his hands up, scowling in his voice as well as his expression.
“You don’t? Or don’t want to?” Wrecker raised his eyebrow.
Echo crossed his arms and tapped his foot.
“Echo, perhaps…” Omega nervously wrung her hands, obviously trying not to upset him, “maybe it would be better to say something sooner rather than later. Life’s too unpredictable. One day the person you care about is there and the next, they’re gone. Wouldn’t it be better to let that person know they’re loved than regretting never telling them?”
Echo sighed, shoulders dropping in a tired slump.
“Maybe you’re right,” he chuckled and ruffled her hair, “when’d you become so wise?”
“Eh, always was. Nice of you to notice.”
“So, you will take advice from Omega, and not us?” Tech fought a smirk.
“Yeah what’s with that?” Wrecker chimed in, visibly pleased.
“Didn’t you hear? Omega is the wisest.”
Echo ran his hand down his face with a sigh of anticipation. He knew he had to do this soon, but….a little time wouldn’t hurt right? He needed the right words.
It was a few rotations later and the Batch was assigned a new mission from Cid…and Echo still hadn’t said anything to you. He pointedly ignored his brothers’ silent prompts and either sighed or shrugged at Omega with a “it’s not a good time” or “I don’t know what to say yet.”
The job was a two parter.
Hunter paired you up with Echo for the intel, Tech would stay on the ship with Omega to be ready for a quick get away, while Wrecker and Hunter went for the cargo that was demanded. None of you knew what the two pieces had in common, especially on a pirate ship, but you were getting paid a good price. Hunter initially wanted to turn down the job but the credits were needed, and Cid didn’t give much room for negotiation.
“You ready?” Echo had some strain in his voice.
“Yeah, how hard can an extraction be?” You shrugged. “It’ll be fine.”
Echo opened his mouth and shut it a few times, flustered, searching for words.
“Just keep your head up.” He finally said, putting on his helmet and hiding his face. Not really what you wanted to hear…he sighed then walked away. You stood there for a few minutes, digesting the strange conversation. Echo never acted this weird before a mission.
You wanted to ask him about it but never got the chance, it was time to board.
Something went wrong. Hunter and Wrecker gave you and Echo the signal they had the cargo but you were still getting the intel. They headed back to the ship to make sure the crate was secure. Apparently, from the sounds of Wrecker’s grunting, it was heavy.
“Echo, come on, hurry up!” You trained your blaster down the halls, looking left and right. Your brows scrunched up and sweat beaded your forehead.
“Almost got it. Be patient.” he snapped back.
“Echo…I have a strange feeling. I don’t like this.” You turned to see your reflection staring back at you with a strange expression on Echo’s visor. His head was turned at a curious angle, his breathing slightly heavier. He always took your feelings seriously; at better times he joked that they rivaled the Jedi’s ‘feelings’.
“Okay, hold tight.”
Was there slight fear in his voice?
“Echo?” Now your breathing started to increase rapidly. You’d never felt this unsettled on a mission.
You didn’t have time to ponder more, shots came out of nowhere. You threw yourself in front of Echo and started firing back.
Karking pirates.
“I got it! Let’s go!” You felt Echo pull his scomp out of the portal and wrap his arm around your waist. You’ve done this move before. There was a door next to you. You’d just roll over each other into the other room…but something caught your eye. The door opened, a sneaky pirate trying to get at Echo from the back. He raised his arm to aim and…
Bam!
The shot went off; but before it did, you twisted yourself in front of Echo. Shots rang out (you assumed Echo shot the man behind you) in unison with your scream. You heard Echo shouting your name in panic, pulling your writhing body behind the door, and barricading you on the other side. His calls went from panic to insistent now, then confused. He expected blood…not sparks.
You peeled your eyes open and brought your other hand up to detach your arm. The flames crawling up to your brain telling you your arm was shreds immediately stopped. You heaved a breath and sat up.
“Shoot.” You mumbled, looking at the shambles your arm was in. How many times had that pirate shot it?
“Hey, you ok?” Echo removed his helmet and his eyes were searching your body. “What were you doing? You could have gotten killed!” Despite his reprimand, his voice was soft, probably still processing what happened.
“I was thinking I didn’t want to see you dead.”
“I don’t want you dead either.”
“J-just he-lp me, will you?” You started scooping up the pieces into your pack. Echo quickly came to help.
“Your balance will be off a little, will you be ok if I rigged the ship?”
“Yeah, yeah,” still trying to catch your breath, you wanted to give an air of confidence though, “go for it.”
Echo stuck his hand back into the scomp and commed the boys. You tuned it out, the world (the ship) around you starting to shake. You knew you were spiraling but you couldn’t stop it.
He knew. Now what was going to happen? He took that rather well. He was sort of ignoring it and you didn’t know if you were relieved or upset.
And…how lucky were you that it was that arm, and not your good one?
You hugged your pack. It felt a little morbid carrying pieces of your arm in your pack. It was mechanical but still. It had been a part of you for so long, it was so strange. Echo’s hand appeared on your shoulder, giving it a grounding squeeze.
“We have to get to the hanger! They’ll meet us there!”
Your musings would have to wait.
The ship was falling apart. Explosions wrecking the hangar and surrounding you and Echo with fire, causing the ship to shake and the floor to become unstable.
“Echo look out!” Your warning came too late. Echo was knocked off his feet from an explosion next to him. The force pushed him out the hanger and plummeting toward the earth below. You cried out in terror, shrieking as you threw yourself toward the edge. Echo had grappled onto a loose piece of the ship. You wrapped your legs around some metal beams where the wall of the ship was blown away. You then balanced your body so it could support the extra weight of the one you were trying to reach. It was difficult not having the balance of your other arm.
“Take my hand!” You shouted above the din.
“No! If I do you’ll fall too! I can’t let you die!”
“Why not? I can’t let you die either, you idiot!”
“What do you mean ‘why not?”
“Just shut up and take my hand or I swear I’ll jump.”
Echo didn’t move so you started shimming closer, loosening your grip a little. That seemed to spook him so he darted his hand in your direction. You stretched out your hand further to meet his and gripped him hard as he let go. You were now his only lifeline.
“Alright! You are so stubborn.”
“Only because I love you, you idiot.”
“You’ve said that….wait, you love me?”
It was almost as if you could see the look of shock through his helmet. You started to chuckle, looking at his dazed dangling form. The piece he was hanging from fell not two minutes later.
“You’ll have to climb…I can’t pull you up!”
Darn fine time to lose your arm again.
You felt like your rib cage splitting in two from the pressure. You couldn’t remember the last time your breathing felt so constrained. Every breath in stretched your chest impossibly farther, trying to lift the invisible bantha sitting there, every exhale set your chest on fire. Echo’s hand gripped your good arm and his scomp dug into your flesh. You wanted to cry out but couldn’t. An invisible hand gripped your throat as you pulled, trying to get him to the ledge.
Then Echo slipped a little. Another explosion went off and jolted you. You had to fight hard to keep your grip even if your balance was lost.
“Co-ome o-ohn Eeekoo, don’t. Give. Up. Climb!”
“Mesh’la, you have to let me go. I’m too heavy. Save yourself. I need you to be safe.”
“D-don’t you dare gih-ive up.” Tears were streaming down your eyes now and you didn’t care. “Don’t ask me to do that.”
Echo’s grip loosened a little, and your heart, already overworked, started to increase its speed. “I can’t let you die either; because I love you too. I’ve loved you so long and should’ve told you. I’m sorry. I just thought…”
“Echo, don’t let go, please.”
“Mesh’la…”
“Echo, stop speaking gibberish and use the strength to climb instead of talk!”
You had to imagine the smile on Echo’s face. You felt the hardened grip return, along with the agonizing feeling of being split in half. You started to count to keep yourself calm.
“One…two…three…”
The world around you was falling away. Not just literally from the sky but the ceiling and walls started to blur, black clouded the edges of your vision.
“Seven…eight…nine…”
Then a buzzing sound broke through the haze. It sounded familiar…close…Echo whooped. It got closer…and closer…then the lights and hum of The Marauder announced its saving presence. You heard the hatch open and the shouts of the others. Echo’s grip suddenly disappeared and his weight was gone. Air forced its way into your lungs in a gasp. You wanted to call out to Echo but your energy was gone. You heaved and started to lift yourself.
Until a chunk of metal came falling down, smashing your body.
Shoot.
You couldn’t move. Your body crushed to the floor, the ship started to shift, gravity pulling you out the door. Your head slammed against another falling object, hard enough to draw blood, dizzying enough to disorient you, but not enough to knock you out. The taste of copper made itself known to your tongue, soon your whole mouth felt the presence of a hot liquid. The black specks returned. They danced and spun, swirling with the flames as your world tilted.
Your body started to slide in the opposite direction, a hot sticky trail left in your wake. You clamped your eyes shut and found you couldn’t open them.
Well this is it…
Footsteps skidded next to you, shouting grated against the complaining durasteel that creeped and groaned as it was ripping apart, the durasteel was lifted from your body. Strong arms wrapped themselves around you, the distinct feeling of a hand cradling your head and the hard inflexibility of a scomp supporting you. A gentle voice you’d know anywhere whispered:
“Hey, if I’m not allowed to fall, you aren’t either.”
You started to chuckle but a coughing fit replaced the giggle.
“Y-you got to go before the whole thing falls.”
“I’m not leaving you. We end this thing together. Hold on. It’ll be okay, okay? Just stay with me here.”
“Th-e world i-is black…Echo…”
His name stumbling out your mouth was the last thing to ring in your ears.
You had the various pieces of your false arm scattered about, fidgeting with a piece here and there but not really doing anything with it. The despondency you felt starting from scratch made you wonder if it was even worth it. You reached up and felt around the stump on your shoulder. The uneven scars, the healed over tissue, the ghost of what was, teasing you in their silent haunting.
Your hand then slipped to your bandaged ribs. Apparently, according to Wrecker (talking excitedly while Echo blushed feverishly in silence), Echo had let himself down onto the boarding ramp and looked up expecting you to follow. When you didn’t, he jumped back up without a second thought onto the unsteady, crashing doomed ship and watched helplessly as…well Wrecker didn’t make you relive it. That was nice of him.
Echo apparently also didn’t let anyone touch you, too busy bandaging you up himself, barking orders at everyone to get the supplies he needed to wrap your middle and head.
Wrecker said he’d never seen Echo so “frantic”. It was hard to imagine as Echo was only ever calm….don’t worry, Wrecker re-enacted it for you (until Hunter ushered him through a door and left you alone with the man almost combusting from embarrassment.
“Don’t worry,” Omega whispered to him before slipping out herself, “she already knows. And don’t mind Wrecker, he’s just happy it’s finally happening.”
The memory faded and the silk between your ribs and fingers became real again. Echo hadn’t said anything to you. He’d only taken your hand and squeezed it tight, not looking you in the eye for the longest time.
“I may have a body of steel…but I’ve got a heart made of flesh, believe it or not, it’s real. And it’s yours. It beats for you. Don’t forget that, please. We’re the same, and I couldn’t have loved you more. I wish you could have told me about it…because I know.”
With the whisper he left. Despite the ship being small, he had avoided you for an entire rotation already. You knew he was around, you’d heard Hunter talking to him, but you didn’t seek him out.
You looked down uncertainly at your project again and sighed heavily.
Maybe remaking it isn’t an option. You could ask Tech or Hunter…in a few days. You didn’t feel like this now…maybe you shouldn’t fix it at all. Maybe this was the key to stop working for Cid.
The door opened with a whoosh, footsteps clomping a path toward you. A body slumped on the floor next to you and you felt Echo’s leg brush your own. The contact made your heart leap, eyes darting toward him to find his signature smirk on his face. You scowled and looked away. Your throat was sore and the lump you swallowed only made you feel pitiful.
“I’m sorry…I needed time. Thank you for giving that to me.”
You nodded, eyes ahead.
“Hunter told me why you didn’t tell me…I figured that but hearing it also pushed me out of my slump. I know you didn’t owe me anything, not an explanation or anything, but I can’t let a moment go by without telling you that this doesn’t change how I see you….I was hurt that you thought I’d …. well it does and it doesn’t, let me start there. It doesn’t because I love you, but it does because I know how brave you’ve been. How could I not admire that! You’re beautiful to me no matter what. Don’t doubt your worth or your beauty which is more than superficial because of this.”
You choked on a sob and Echo brought his arm around slowly, giving you time to shrug him off if you wanted or to move away. Instead, you leaned into his touch.
He leaned close to your ear. “Tell me where to start and we’ll have it back together in no time.”
“I-I don’t think I can, Echo.”
Tears started to well in your eyes. You couldn’t do this again.
“I…I’m so tired. Of all of it.”
“You don’t have to do this alone; we will do it together. ”
Echo took his real hand with his real fingers and entwined them with your own real hand. You could feel the warmth through his gloves and it went right to your heart. The courage that fled you long ago started to return. Your throat was swollen, so you nodded instead, lips turning up in a smile.
“Together.”
“But first, I have to finish fixing something else…”
You looked at him confused, cocking your head to the side, eyes still glistening from the unshed sorrow.
He chuckled but his next words came out airy and nervous.
“Your heart…”
He leaned in slowly, soft lips latching onto yours. He smiled when you gasped and nearly laughed when you pulled him closer, hand gripping his collar like your lifeline.
“Hey, stop laughing. You have a lot of fixing to do.” You mumbled against his lips.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Yeah, the arm could wait.
Both your hearts needed some healing, and a kiss was the perfect medicine.