Chapter Text
connie added sasha, jean, armin and 6 others to the chat.
connie renamed the chat to: #1 eren haters !!
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sunday 2.17pm
jean: the group chat name is so real
connie: ikr like eren<<
eren: wtf?? kys.
jean: not until u do it first bbg <3
ymir: fruit
jean: what
ymir: what 😐😐
sasha: HEY GUYS!!
sassha: how was the summer for all of u??’
armin: hi sasha!! my holiday went by great for the most part although there were some ups and downs :)
ymir: who
armin: huh??
ymir: asked
armin: 😐
connie: LMFAOOO
eren: if ur rude to my bf one more time then i’ll beat u up
eren: fucking fishy pussy smelling bitch
jean: damn
eren: ur next.
jean: but i didn’t even do anything??
ymir: i’d like to see u fucking try jaeger
ymir: this mf talking about trying to beat me up when he literallt got his ass cleared by annie on the last day of skl…
eren: literallt 😍😍
ymir: kay that’s it
ymir: meet me at the gates first thing tmrw to get ur gay ass whooped
eren: oh em gee i’m so scared…
sasha: @everyone GUYS THERES A FIGHT ON THE FIRST DAY
sasha: BE THERE OR BE SQUARE 🗣️🗣️ ‼️
mikasa: Eren I would advise you to not fight Ymir as she’s most likely going to beat you. Plus, when you fought with Annie last time you were crying for days about it.
armin: yeah eren she’s right, just back out of this one so that u don’t embarrass urself on the first day of skl…
sasha: MIMI!! MY LOVE <3 HOW ARE UUU <3333
mikasa: Hello Sasha, I’m doing well, how are you?
sasha: i’m just missing u sm right now :((( can’t wait to see u at skl tmrw !!
mikasa: 💗💗💗
jean: lord when will it be my turn to be happy
eren: never what the fuck
eren: ALSO MIKASA AND ARMIN WHY DO U THINK I’M GONNA LOSE??
eren: HOW COULD I LOSE TO A LESBIAN??
ymir: boo homophobia 👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼
hitch: well i mean,, annie is a lesbian too yet u lost to her so…
eren: pause.
eren: annie is a pussy enjoyer??
hitch: yeah, it’s actually my pussy that she enjoys too 🤭🤭
ymir: WAIT U GUYS R DATING NOW??
ymir: FUCKING FINALLY OMG
ymir: like us sapphics are really dominating this chat rn like go us omg
hitch: ur so right ymir, women>>
sasha: WOMEN>>> 🙏🏻🙏🏻
eren: gag
ymir: stfu gay ass
ymir: anyways i miss my gf
jean: cope
ymir: y r u so bitter omg..
historia: ymir my sweet i miss u moreee
ymir: DARLING
ymir: MY LIFELINE
ymir: MY WILL TO LIVE
historia: 💖💖💖
jean: yuck
ymir: fuck off
reiner: wait eren and ymir are fighting?
ymir: that’s old news reiner.. aso why did it take u so long to get online
bertolt: We were both on a run together that’s why !!
ymir: oh yeah i forgor u guys were boyfriends mb
reiner: he’s not my boyfriend
ymir: yeah and my parents love me sooo much
bertolt: But your parents are dead?
connie: critical hit damn
ymir: stfu bald head,, and bertolt i was trying to be funny gosh
bertolt: Oh, I apologise !!
eren: nah bro don’t apologise that was funny as fuck
ymir: now ik ur not talking..
mikasa: Can you two please not get into an argument again? Otherwise I’ll have to force both of you to shut up permanently.
eren: yes ma’am 🤐
sasha: me when she’s mad 😍😍
ymir: 😍😍😍
mikasa: You like it when I’m mad?
sasha: ofc babe it’s so hot when u are
mikasa: Interesting.
connie: oh? 🤭
eren: get ur mind out the gutters connie.
armin: since most of us r online rn lemme ask a quick question
eren: go on babe
armin: did anyone do the holiday chem hw that mx zoё set us cuz i’m currently stuck on the last question on titrations
eren: wait we got hw?
ymir: shit we got chem as well? i thought it we only got set a history essay from mr smith
eren: WE GOT HW??
eren: WELL FUCK ME
hitch: ew no i have a gf :/
sasha: same ://
eren: 😐😐
eren: but seriously y did no one tell me that we had hw,, u guys r so fake wtf
mikasa: Armin and I spent the first 2 weeks of the holiday trying to get you to do the work with us but you wouldn’t listen Eren.
eren: then u should’ve tried harder??
armin: u were literally throwing a tantrum on the floor when we tried to get u to start the history essay,, i think we did the best that we could
jean: damn jaeger threw a tantrum?? pls tell me that u filmed it 😭😭
armin: yeah i think i did, lemme go look for it hold on
eren: ARMIN NO
eren: ur literally my bf how could u do this to me…
ymir: cope
eren: kys.
ymir: okay 😘
armin: guys!! i found the vid
armin sent 1 attachment: eren crying on the floor vid
sasha: OH MY GOD???
hitch: LMFAO
ymir: IS THIS BITCH 6 OR SMTH Y IS HE ACC CRYING ON THE FLOOR I CAN’T
jean: FUCK I’M LAUGHING SO BAD THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS
reiner: hahaha
eren: reiner since when were u online tf
eren: ALSO ARMIN WHY WOULD U DO THAT
armin: sorry babe but u have to admit the vid is kinda funny
eren: NO IT’S NOT??
eren: ugh i hate u all.
eren left the chat.
reiner: damn i can’t believe he left
armin: dw guys he only did it for dramatic affect he’s probably gonna start messaging one of us soon to let him back in
historia: please let’s not add him, i’m having the time of my life without erens annoying ass typing random shit every two seconds
jean: real
ymir: baby ur so right this is y ily
historia: love u too <33
jean: ew
ymir: blocked!
armin added eren to the chat.
armin: guys he begged me to let him back in.
eren: hey guys did u miss me
jean: u were gone for like 30 seconds
ymir: who even r u
eren: bitch
ymir: whore
eren: only for armin 🥰😍😍
armin: 😽💓💓
ymir: yuck this is y i’m homophobic
Bertolt: I though u were lesbian?
ymir: shut UP omg
eren: bert never shut up ur so funny
ymir: eren go ahead and kys
jean: yes pls do
eren: shut.
armin: guys stop arguing and go do the hw!!
historia: yeah do u wanna end up with a detention on the first day back?
ymir: babe I’ll only do it if u give me cuddles after </3
historia: deal! <3
jean: GAGGED
ymir: it’s not my fault that u got no bitches
eren: yeah lol its becuz he’s french 👎🏻👎🏻
jean: but ur literally german??
eren: but i’m literally not bitchless like u??
ymir: ngl jaeger lowk ate u up with that one
jean: i hate u all.
mikasa: All of you get off your phones right now before I come and force them off you.
eren: yes ma’am 🤒🤒
monday 7.14am
connie: wait we had holiday hw?..
connie: shit
ymir: my brother in christ where the fuck have u been