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It starts out with Peter, him having just moved into the compound. He misses living with his Aunt May, although she visits from time to time, but it’s not the same. He needed a little bit of support, a little compassion from the team.
You, being deemed the teams ‘mom’, readily gave out such feelings. It was easy for you as you were a naturally sympathetic person. Giving out hugs after stressful training sessions, listening for hours to various team members talk about the most recent mission as what everyone called ‘therapy time,’ and often just sitting next to someone in silence so they didn’t feel so alone.
As the resident team ‘mom’, you would make and pack lunches for anyone going on missions for the day: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chicken wraps, BLTs, sometimes soup or casserole dishes (but always packed in metal thermoses, not glass; no more accidents need to happen on these missions). You would take orders from the team if there was anything in particular they wanted for the day, especially Sam and Thor. Sam always wanted cajon dishes (you would try your best with your limited cooking skills), and Thor always wanted coffee. You would always pack lots of coffee. Lots of it.
But when Peter joined, he was always hesitant to ask for anything, and when one of your lasagna dishes went wrong, he still said he loved it.
You loved the kid, really. He was nothing but kind to you, and never asked for anything.
So one day, you were packing lunch for Steve, Nat, Sam, and Peter. You decided on pasta salad with onions, yellow, red, and orange peppers, topped with Italian dressing. It was a common favorite amongst the team.
As you were mixing the ingredients, you remembered back to when your mom used to pack you little lunch notes on your first day of school every year. The thought made you smile, but more importantly it gave way to the greatest idea you’d ever had.
You wrote Peter a lunch note as a little reminder that he was loved and that you appreciate him. You hoped that his Aunt May used to do this, and that it would make him smile.
Dear Peter,
I hope all goes well on this mission, but I know you’ll do great.
Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing, just follow your instincts
and use your spidey senses to your advantage. You have a great gift :)
You’re a smart kid, and you always do the right thing.
I know we’re all so proud of you, and your aunt too.
With love,
Y/n
You fold the note and place it in his bag, along with the food, an extra water bottle and a juice box.
“Hey Y/n,” Steve says, walking into the kitchen in his suit, grabbing some extra water.
“Hi Steve, how’s it going?” You ask, smiling over at him.
“We’re about to head out. I just came to grab our lunches,” he responds with a smile.
You slide them over to him and he takes them with a smile and a ‘thanks’.
“Hey Steve?” You start.
“Yeah?” He turns to look at you inquisitively.
“Look out for the little guy, ok? I know he’s missing his aunt a lot recently, so just try to get his mind off of it. I know you’ll do your best, but I just thought I’d put it out there.”
He smiles warmly at you. “Of course. He’s a great kid, I know he’ll be ok.”
“I know,” you say, and send him off.
– – –
“Hey Natasha?” Peter crouches behind Nat’s co-pilot seat at the front of the quinjet.
“What’s up?” She asks, turning her head to hear him better.
“Umm, I was just wondering if, maybe, you might have some, umm, games on your phone? Mine just died. But it’s totally ok if you don’t want me-” he was interrupted by Nat handing him her phone from above him.
“Feel free, kid,” she says, not taking her eyes off of the sky in front of her.
“Cool, thanks Nat,” he says happily, taking her phone and going back to his seat.
Steve smiles over at Nat, and she nods at him.
“That was sweet of you,” he says.
“He’s a sweet kid,” she says. “And you did tell me to be nice to him.”
“Yeah, Y/n asked me to look out for him,” he says.
“She’s always looking out for the little guy, huh?” Nat says.
Steve lands the quinjet in a nearby forest clearing, close to their objective point.
“Alright team, we’ll have a quick bite to eat and then we move out in 20,” Steve announces.
“Sweet, I wonder what she packed for today,” Sam says, grabbing his lunch from the bag. “Pasta salad, yes!” He says enthusiastically.
“Does everyone know how much of a foodie you are?” Nat asks, opening her own lunch.
“I think so, yes,” Sam says with a mouthful of food.
“Sam, don’t talk with your mouth full,” Steve gently chastises.
“What, it’s not like we’re known for our ‘manners’,” he exclaims.
But Peter didn’t hear what was going on. He was reading and rereading your note over and over, actively trying to hold back tears. No one had ever shown him this much appreciation, maybe his aunt, but you made her look more like a fun older cousin to him than a mother figure.
“You ok, kid?” Nat asks.
“Hmm?” Peter hums, looking up at her. “Oh, umm, I think so. Y/n, she uh, she wrote me this note,” he says, trying his absolute best to not rub at his eyes.
“Can I see it?” She asks.
He hands it over to her silently, and begins eating his lunch. She reads it and smiles to herself.
“What does it say?” Steve asks, and Nat hands it over to him. Sam, being the nosey bitch he is, leaned over and read it too.
“She must really love you, huh?” Sam teases. Nat punches him in the arm, making his fork fly across the jet. He exclaims his surprise.
“She does,” Steve says, smiling over to Peter. He stares at him until Peter lifts his eyes and meets Steve’s. “She loves you,” he says again.
“We all do,” Nat says.
Peter looks at them like they’re about to laugh at him. When they don’t, he smiles at them sheepishly and thanks them.
They return to eating their meals, except for Sam. He sits in the corner and sulkingly says, “Why didn’t we get one?”
– – –
You’re cleaning up from the dinner Tony and Rhodey had made (frozen pizza and salad, you can guess who made what), as the team came waltzing back into the kitchen.
“Hey Y/n,” Nat says, followed by Steve, Sam, and Peter.
“Hey guys, how did everything go?” You ask, turning off the water and drying your hands.
“It went well. We secured the location and collected the data we needed,” Steve says, coming around to give you a hug.
“That’s good, did anyone-”
“No, no one got hurt,” Nat answers with a smile, before you could finish.
“Except my fork, and frankly my feelings too,” Sam says, glaring at Nat and then you.
“Why…” you begin to say, but Nat again interrupts.
“I threw his fork across the jet because he made a jab at Peter,”
You giggle at Sam’s expense.
“Why didn’t I get a note too, huh? You only care about bug boy here?” He says.
“Watch it bird brain, or you won’t even get lunch next time,” you say, pointing your finger at Sam. Everyone laughs at that, except Sam. He pouts.
You go and sit beside Peter, nudging him gently with your shoulder. “You ok?”
He looks at you like you’re a figment of his imagination. He nods. “Yeah, thank you for… thanks for everything,” he says.
You smile and hug his shoulders.
Peter goes to bed that night, for the first time not wondering if he’s actually wanted amongst the team.
– – –
The next mission, consisting of Tony, Thor, Steve, Nat, and Sam, was a doozy. A Hydra base camp, left over from 2014 when the Avengers took down S.H.I.E.L.D., was trying to regain authority and build under the Avengers’ radar.
Steve was fuming, Tony was excited to try out some new missile strikers, and Thor was itching to get out in the field again.
As you begin packing their lunches (buffalo chicken wraps and veggies with ranch dressing - caesar for Tony though, because he hates ranch), Peter comes into the kitchen and you two strike up a conversation while you peeled the carrots and Peter poured the dressings in their respective sauce cups.
“Are you going to write them notes?” Peter asks shyly, breaking a point of comfortable silence between you two.
You’re brought back to two weeks ago when you did it the first time.
You smile at him. “I can do that, sure.”
Peter runs off to grab a notepad and a pen.
You wrote Nat’s first:
Dear Natasha,
I hope you didn’t forget to charge your Widow Bites again.
If so, there is extra in your bag. I threw them in there last night :)
Make sure you put your hair up before you go out,
we don’t need your hair getting caught in Tony’s suit again
(don’t think I forgot about that)!
Your leg work has been impeccable lately, and your balance is immaculate.
Don’t hesitate to ask Steve for a jump lift, either. Go on and get up high, girl!
You’ll do amazing, as you always do.
I’m excited to hear about your bad-assery when you get back.
Lots of love,
Y/n
“I like that one,” Peter says gently beside you.
You smile over at him. He’s just so adorable.
You write Steve’s next:
Dear Steve,
Please don’t forget to loosen the leather wrist straps on your shield again,
you know that that has to go back on your arm, right?
Also, ask Tony to realign the magnets before going onto the field,
they were a little messed up last night in training.
Your hand-to-hand combat has been on point lately, use it!!
I’ll see you when you get back, don’t forget to take care of yourself
like you do for your team.
Lots of love,
Y/N
“Do you always watch their training sessions?” Peter asks.
“Sometimes, yeah. Normally when it’s group training, I don’t like to interrupt their individual gym times. That’s their private time.”
“Oh. Are you gonna write Sam one?” Peter asks hesitantly.
You laugh and nod. You’re running out of time though, Steve should be here to pick up the lunches soon, so you decide to finish off with Sam’s. You figure those that know about the notes should receive them, and since Tony and Thor don’t, they might not know what they're missing.
Dear Sam,
Your goggles are scratched so grab an extra pair from your bag before you go out.
DON’T FORGET TO INSTALL REDWING’S TRACKER,
you forgot last time and nearly lost him at the last objective site.
Your dives have been looking extremely clean lately,
use them against any of Hydra’s birds in the air.
Don’t forget to turn and shoot at the helicopter’s engine propeller like I showed you.
Please, get out of your head when you’re out in the field;
I know how you forget sometimes. Remember the trick I showed you?
4 in, 7 hold, 8 out.
You’ll be great. You know what you’re doing.
Lots of love,
Y/n
P.S. Don’t piss Nat off today, I don’t want my food strewn across the jet again.
“Did you know he almost left me at the last site too?” Peter says, laughing.
“WHAT?!”
– – –
“Alright, landing in 5,” Steve says, slowly beginning the descent of the quinjet from the air.
“Quick bite and then we’re out?” Sam asks, happily. He was hungry.
“Sure thing, Sam,” Steve says.
Sam begins digging through the bags, pulling the one with his name out.
“Did you know he was such a foodie?” Tony asks Nat. She laughs.
“Do you know what's on the menu for today?” Sam asks.
“Chicken wraps, I believe,” Nat says.
“We don’t have chickens on Asgard,” Thor explained, grabbing his own bag. “We prefer to eat the meat of a boar, and after scraping the fat off the husk, we heat it until it's melted, then we mix it with our-”
“Alright Point Break, I’m gonna have to stop you there. I would like to enjoy my meal today, thank you,” Tony says, unwrapping his own food.
Nat pulls her wrap out of the bag, and the note comes along with it.
“What’s that?” Sam asks, his mouth full of food, again.
She looks down, watching the note float to the floor. Unsure, she picks it up, unfolds it, and chuckles to herself.
“What’s on it?” Steve asks.
She smiles, reading the note through a few times. “It’s a note from Y/n,” she says.
“Ah man, you got one too?” Sam says.
“What? What does that mean?” Tony asks.
“Y/n wrote Peter a note on our last mission. As a little ‘pick-me-up’, I guess.” Steve answered.
“Ah ha!” Sam exclaims. “I got one too!” He reads it over and smiles. “Does she know I almost left Peter at the last site too?” He laughs.
Nat is about to hit him again when he stops her. “Ah! Y/n said for you to not hit me, she doesn’t want her food ‘strewn across the jet’.”
He hands Nat the note and she reads it. “She said for you not to piss me off, nothing about me not hitting you.” And she punches his other arm, the one not holding the food.
“You two are so childish.” Tony says. “Where’s mine?” He starts looking through his lunch bag, actively searching for his own note.
“You might not have gotten one. You didn’t know about them.” Nat says.
“Uh, rude. Why make you two notes and not me? I paid for this paper, I should get a note.”
Nat and Sam laugh at his tantrum.
“Well, maybe she doesn’t like you,” Thor says, smiling.
Tony is about to go off when Steve stops him.
“She likes you, Tony. I knew about it and I don’t think I got one.”
“Well, maybe she doesn’t like both of us,” Tony says, head turned up high.
“You didn’t get one?” Sam asks.
“I don’t think so,” Steve says. He looks through his bag again and sure enough, laying folded up under his napkin is his note.
“Oh,” he says, as he unfolds the note, and his lips form into a warm smile.
Everyone is quiet while he reads it, waiting for his reaction.
“It’s very sweet,” he says, handing it over to Nat as she extends her arm towards him.
“Well, now I’m sad,” Tony says.
“Maybe you should give her a raise. Then she’ll write you one.” Sam says.
Tony smacks the food out of his hand.
– – –
“Hey missy!”
You hear Tony’s voice before you see him.
You turn from your spot on the couch as he approaches from behind you.
“Hi Tony,” you say, happy to see him ok. “Where is everyone-”
“Yeah, everyone else is fine. What about me, though? Huh?”
You look at him puzzled. “Are you hurt?” He didn’t look hurt.
“In the only way that counts. How could you?”
“Tony, what are you talking about?” You sit up, wanting to get a good look at him to see if you could spot what was so wrong with him.
“You wrote Capsicle, Rocket man, and Natasha these little notes. What, am I not good enough for you? No, you want a raise. Is that it? You do know I’m your employer, right?”
You start off giggling at Tony before full out laughing at him.
“Oh so now it’s funny. You do realize I can fire you, right? I have the power. Or I can hand you over to the authorities for unlawful exclusion. Is that what you want-”
“Leave her be, Stark.”
Ohhhh and that voice always sends shivers up your spine.
Bucky walks into the common room where you’re currently being cornered by Tony. He makes his way over to the two of you and sits across from you on the couch.
“He’s not going to do anything to you doll, right Tony?” He asks, his relaxed, nonchalant demeanor calms you in an instant.
You knew Tony wouldn’t do anything to you, he was just hurt about being left out.
“I could,” Tony says, sticking his nose high in the air.
“You could, but you won’t.” Bucky says. The look on his face is a jovial one, but you can see the way he’s looking at Tony. It's threatening.
“What’s going on in here?” Nat asks as she walks in behind Tony.
“Hey Nat!” You say, getting up and giving her a hug, even though she’s not much of a hugger. Anything to distract you from Tony’s outburst and Bucky’s stare. “Are you ok? Is everyone else alright?”
“Yeah Y/n, we’re all ok,” Nat responds with a smile. “What’s he going on about?”
“He’s upset that I didn’t write him a note today,” you giggle.
“Oh my God man, let it go already,” Sam says, as he’s the next to enter the room. “He wouldn’t shut up about it all day.”
“That’s funny coming from you, you were bitter about Peter getting the first note a few weeks ago,” Nat says.
“What’s going on?” Bucky asks, unsure of the underlying problem at hand.
“Y/n has been writing us notes when we go on missions, and Tony didn’t get one today,” Steve says, joining in on the conversation last.
“I ran out of time when I was writing them, but I would have made you one. I didn’t know they were such a sought after thing.” You smile.
“You can write them to whoever you want, Y/n,” Steve assures you.
“Yeah, and don’t let big man-children ruin it for you,” Nat whispers, winking at you.
“You’re not that slick, Widow!” Tony yells after her as she leaves the room. He turns to you next. “Next mission,” he says, pointing at you.
You nod, smiling. “Yes, boss.”
He leaves the room, grumbling to himself.
“Thanks for lunch today, Y/n,” Steve says, coming up to you for a hug.
“No problem, Stevie,” you say, hugging him back, tightly. You decided that you’ll talk about the notes to whoever brings them up, otherwise you’ll stay quiet. You like to think of them more as little secrets between you and whoever receives them.
The room empties out, and you’re left with Bucky. You return to your place on the couch, picking up the book you discarded when Tony first came in to accuse you of your ‘wrongdoing’.
“What do you write on these notes?” Bucky asks, breaking the silence.
You turn to him, thinking about it. “Just little notes. Reminders and such. Just something to help with pre-mission jitters, I suppose.”
He nods, his eyes turning down. He doesn’t say anything else.
– – –
“Hey Y/n, what are you up to?” Wanda asks, finding you sitting at the kitchen island, five pieces of paper surrounding you.
“Hi Wanda, I’m writing lunch notes for the mission today,” you say, your head currently buried in Tony’s note.
After last week’s debacle, you knew not to miss his note this time around. Plus, you felt bad about not writing his, especially after seeing how worked up he was about it.
“Oh, you mean the notes everyone has been talking about?” Wanda says, coming to sit beside you.
“What?” You turn to look at her. Everyone has been talking about your notes?
“Yeah, the ones you send out on missions with whoever goes? Everyone has been talking about it. I heard Peter was trying to get on this mission to just receive another one from you.”
Your heart absolutely swelled when she said that. You had no idea the effect some silly lunch note could have on someone.
Well, when you thought about it, these people didn’t exactly get a lot of love from private people in their lives. Sure, there were crazy fans who loved them, but it’s not the same as having a more intimate kind of love. Not that little notes were intimate, but you knew how much it meant to you when you received them as a kid, so you expected that everyone who received them felt the same.
“Oh, well that's unexpected. I didn’t mean for it to become a big deal, I just wanted to reassure Peter that he was going to be ok. I guess I did this to myself then,” you chuckle wryly.
“Hey, it’s sweet that you’re doing it, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s only nice to receive them if you’re willing, we don’t want to make you do something you aren’t up for,” Wanda says.
That’s how making lunch in the first place started. Tony forgot to order food for one mission, and you volunteered to pack the team something. Now you do it for every mission, and you don’t mind doing it at all.
Same with the notes. You like writing them, you like knowing that your love can extend to the team even when they’re out on the field, far away from home. It warms you knowing that a little bit of you is out there with them, supporting them. They really are your family, and you love every single one of them.
You write to Tony, Thor, Bruce, Clint, and Steve. They were going on a mission to take out an aircraft that went rogue after it was compromised by enemy targets.
Your little notes and the little suns and birds you decided to draw on them didn’t make up for the horrors they were likely to come across, but it was a good sentiment on your part.
You decided to add little doodles to each note, seeing as you had started writing an hour before the team was set to leave, giving you enough time to complete each note.
As you were done with your last note (Bruce’s), FRIDAY paged you over the PA system.
“Miss Y/l/n, Captain Rogers sends his apologies and has asked for you to bring the lunches to the boarding dock.”
“Tell him I’ll be right there, thanks FRIDAY,” you say, grabbing each bag and putting them in a large tote to transport them to the boarding dock.
As you approached Steve who was loading the quinjet with additional supplies, you noticed six personal duffle bags instead of five.
“Hey Stevie,” you say, catching his attention.
“Hey Y/n, sorry I couldn’t come and grab those, we’re heading out in just a few minutes,” he says, taking the tote from you.
“Oh, it’s fine. I notice there are six bags, but I only packed five lunches,” you say in fear of having missed one. You had the mission report sheet in front of you when you were making the lunches to make sure you packed enough for everyone going.
“Oh, that's ok. Bucky had to join at the last minute, we didn’t have time to update the report,” he says.
Your eyes go wide, shock lighting up your features.
“I didn’t pack him anything!” You say, a little louder than you should’ve. You can’t send an agent into the field without sustenance, especially a super soldier who’s metabolism runs four times the speed of a regular man.
“Y/n, it’s ok. I promise. I’ll share mine with him,” Steve smiles at you, before pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your head.
Great, so TWO super soldiers are going out to the field with not enough food.
“Don’t worry about us, sweetheart. We’ll be back in time for dinner,” he says, giving you a hug before turning and walking up the ramp into the jet.
“You guys come back home safe and sound, you hear? I don’t need anything else to worry about,” you say, practically shaking. This mission seemed extremely dangerous, especially with Thor and Bruce being assigned to go.
“I promise,” he smiles at you. “Now get inside before we take off.”
“Ok,” you say quietly, waving to Tony, Thor, and Bruce who you can see sitting behind where Steve stood. You supposed Bucky was in the co-pilot seat, always having to sit beside Steve on missions.
You turned and ran to the safety line on the dock, watching as they took off.
You began making your way inside when they were no longer visible. When you walked into the kitchen to clean up, you saw the stationary laid out from when you made the notes you had added to the lunches.
You. Forgot. To. Make. One. For. Bucky. Fucking. Barnes.
When Nat found you a little later curled up on the couch biting your fingernails and rocking slightly back and forth, you nearly told her about your crush on him. And oh man, did you have a major crush on him.
“I didn’t pack him lunch because I didn’t know he was going, he was asked to go before they could change the report. And I didn’t write him a note because of it,” you say, almost in tears.
“Oh baby, it’s ok, he wouldn’t mind,” she says, rubbing your arm to console you.
“Do you think Steve told him? That I didn’t know he was going? So he doesn’t think I hate him?” You say, hoping Steve would’ve done so.
“Of course he did, babe, and Bucky would never hate you. He couldn’t even if he tried,” she said, smiling at you.
You felt a little better, but still felt the need to talk to him when they got back.
– – –
“Ok, so everyone understands the play?” Steve asks, setting the jet to fly on autopilot.
“Yes Capsicle, we know how to do our jobs,” Tony says, rummaging through the tote containing all the lunches. “Aha!” He exclaims, pulling out his bag.
“What are you doing?” Clint asks, looking at Tony like he’s having a psychotic break.
“Looking for my note, what are you doing? I bet you didn’t even get one,” Tony says, fishing for the thick paper folded amongst his thermos of chicken noodle soup and crackers. “Yay,” he says in a childlike manner when he pulls out the paper.
“So she finally wrote you one, huh?” Steve teases. “I’m surprised, I didn’t think she would after you threatened her job over it,” Steve says, raising an eyebrow at Tony, letting him know his behavior towards you was less than appropriate.
“You’ve had a long life Cap, I’m sure you’ve received plenty of notes in your prolonged time here. I, however, have not, so I’m going to revel in this.” Tony opens his note and begins reading silently.
The other men looked at each other for a good minute before reaching into the tote and each grabbing their own bags. Steve was last to grab his and handed it to Bucky.
“She didn’t know you were coming,” is all he said to his best friend.
Bucky looked at the bag, ‘ Steve’ written with sharpie on the front of it. His brows furrowed before accepting the bag and holding onto it, waiting for Steve to sit down beside him again.
Clint, Bruce, Thor, and Tony all read their notes; a few laughs here, a few ‘aww’’s there.
Dear Clint,
Your claw arrows needed replacing after the last mission,
so I added some into your bag. They aren’t very retractable, those things.
Remember, the metal on the back of the wings are easier for
the hooks to grab onto. Use your glass-breaking arrows
for the windows, but not until the plane is at an optimal height for
civilian evacuation. We don’t need eyes popping out of heads
before then. You’ve been on top of your game lately,
I know you’ll be fine.
Lots of love,
Y/n
Dear Bruce,
The plane’s autopilot system can be hacked from placing the USB port
into the port under the pilot’s wheel. Tell Tony to access the port so you
can take control from the quinjet. You can thank Nat for that later.
I know you’re there for tech support (no mean green bean today),
so keep your classical playlist going - put it over the speakers if you
have to. I added some of my favorite instrumentals from French artists
onto there that I think you’ll like. I think you’ll really enjoy it :)
Stay calm, you’re gonna be ok.
Lots of love,
Y/n
Dear Thor,
I added a liter of coffee into your lunch bag, please
don't drink all of it before the mission! We need you to
control the lightning, not be the lightning. Also, don’t go
breaking the windows before the plane is low enough
(you can ask Clint about that one).
You are one of the best we have on the team, I know
they feel better having you around. I know I do :)
Lots of love,
Y/n
Dear Tony,
I know this is a long time coming, and I do apologize for not
writing your note sooner. I hope this makes up for my unlawful
exclusion, and that we can be friends again after this.
You are a great boss, and I enjoy working for you and the team.
They would be nothing without your support and unyielding
dedication you selflessly supply them with.
Your jokes are pretty good too :)
Keep your head on straight and that helmet secured. The USB
is with Bruce, you know the drill; Nat walked you through it.
Keep big green calm, you need a quinjet to come home in.
Lots of love,
Y/n
The notes were passed around, mainly so the game plan was once again refreshed in their minds, but also for everyone to enjoy the little drawings that were added. Clint had little birds, Bruce had a miniature garden, Thor had thunderclouds with little hammers coming off of the lightning, and Tony had a sun with sunglasses and little flowers growing at the bottom.
The notes were also passed to Steve who passed them to Bucky.
This was the first time Bucky had read one of these, and to say he was surprised at your compassion and love for the team, he loved how you knew everyone so closely.
It was then that he remembered that since he didn’t have a lunch of his own, he also didn’t have a note. He understood that you didn’t know he was coming, but he now understood Tony’s hurt when he didn’t receive one of his own.
However, there was still Steve’s to read. He pulls it out of the bag and hands it to Steve to read first.
“Is this mine?” Steve asks.
Bucky nods, gesturing for Steve to read it.
Dear Steve,
I know you’re worried about this mission, what with the lacking ability for
some of your teammates to fly (and yourself, if I’m being honest), but
sometimes you fail to remember that they’ve all dealt with worse
situations. You will be over water, so if anything goes wrong
(WHICH IT WON’T, don’t you start thinking of bad circumstance now),
you will be ok. I promise, you all will be ok. Plus, with Tony and Thor’s
abilities, no one will get far from the plane. Clint is also equipped with
hook arrows, lest someone need an extra hand. Your job is to keep those
civilians safe. Take out the enemy and get everyone to safety.
Don’t be the hero and stray from your directions, Captain.
I added extra ammo in your bag for your pistol - attach them to
your belt. Even if you don’t think you’ll need them.
You are the best that we’ve got, and I just know those civilians
will be so fucking grateful to see your helmet-clad face :)
Lots of love,
Y/n
Steve’s note is decorated in little stars with wings.
Wow he loves you so much. You always knew what to say to remedy his nerves. He doesn’t want to cry in front of everyone, and he isn’t going to, but if he was alone, he just might’ve.
He takes a deep breath and passes the note to Bucky.
When Bucky reads it, he’s happy for his friend. You clearly love him very much, just like you love everyone else on the team. However, Steve’s was the longest, and frankly the most personal. You read him like an open book, which Bucky could definitely say was not the truth. Steve was a pretty personal guy, he didn’t like to tell people about his fears. He always wanted to be the hero and clearly he was to you, despite the oxymoron you threw in.
Bucky wasn’t jealous, no. The only thing he wished was different was the name at the top of the page.
– – –
Clint broke his wrist, deploying one of his hook arrows too soon which yanked him forward, and Tony’s helmet got busted while on the mission. Steve ran out of bullets, despite your words of wisdom to him, and Thor accidentally drank all of his coffee before leaving the jet. He also busted one window because of this, but thankfully the plane wasn’t at an alarming height. Bruce stayed calm the entire time, not having turned even a shade of chartreuse at all, and Bucky came out unscathed. Near the end of the mission, he had to use his trusty arm in place of his gun as he too ran out of bullets. He had to stop himself multiple times from thinking he wouldn’t have if you had packed him a few more too.
You greet the boys as Steve, Thor, and Bucky walk into the common room, tired and beaten down.
“Where’s the other three?” You ask frantically.
“They’re ok. Tony went to say ‘hi’ to Pepper, and Bruce just walked Clint down to the med bay because he broke his wrist. He’s ok otherwise,” Steve answers, leaning his head back on the couch to look at you.
“How’d that happen?” You ask, coming to sit beside him.
“He deployed an arrow too soon and it snapped him forward. I think he underestimated the weight of the plane and the added turbulence,” Steve replies.
“Oh, that’s unfortunate. I hope he’ll be ok,” you say, tucking your legs under yourself, curling up into a ball.
“He will be sweetheart,” Steve says, patting your knee gently.
You almost miss the furrow of Bucky’s brows from the couch across from you two.
“And are you ok?” You ask Steve, but turn to the other two men too.
“I feel great,” Thor says happily.
“Was that before or after you drank all the coffee she sent you?” Bucky rhetorically asks him.
“Oh, definitely after,” Thor says.
You chuckle wryly. “Yeah, I’m not sending you anymore coffee,” you say. You turn to Bucky and look at him with a sweet but gentle smile. “And how are you doing, Buck?”
He gives you a short, half smile, and a nod. “I’m fine,” he says.
You’re obviously unconvinced, but you don’t want to push him. That’s never helped in the past.
“Do you want to talk about it? We can go somewhere else,” you offer.
His eyes pass from you to Steve before sighing deeply and getting up from his spot. “No, I’m just going to take a shower. G’night.” And with that, he leaves.
“Don’t mind him. He’s been sulking all day,” Steve says, nudging your shoulder gently.
“You don’t think he’s mad at me, do you?” You ask him.
“No, why would he be mad?” Steve inquires.
“Because I didn’t pack him a lunch and a note?” You ask, feeling somewhat childish that a simple mistake could have a whole ass super soldier mad at you.
Steve chuckles. “No, I told him you didn’t know he was coming. He didn’t mind, really. He’s been sulking ever since we left, before he knew about the lunches.”
“I mean, I’ve seen him sulk, and I get that it’s normal for him, but he looked more disappointed to me,” you say. “Then again, it could just be post-mission blues.” You look at Steve seriously. “And how are you doing?”
“I’m doing good, much better now that we’re back, thanks darlin’,” he says, patting your knee again.
He says he’s going to shower and start on the post-mission report. He gets up and leaves you with Thor, who was now passed out in his spot on the couch.
You couldn’t get over the fact that Buck looked so… so much more than just tired or sulky before he left the room.
– – –
5 am and Steve sees Bucky clearly taking his anger out on one (of many) unlucky punching bags. Sand lays around his feet as he continues whacking away at the one hanging in front of him. Steve can already see the marks on the bag from where his metal hand has collided with it so many times, and it’s about to tear.
“What did that bag ever do to you?” He exclaims from across the gym, startling Bucky.
“Nothin’,” Buck says, shaking off the spook he had, and going back to hitting the bag.
“What, did it sleep with your girl or something?” Steve laughs, coming to stand behind the bag to hold it in place for his friend.
Bucky stops punching and stands to stare at Steve.
“What’s up, Buck? I haven’t seen you like this since the first month I brought you here,” Steve says.
“Just…tired after yesterday’s mission,” Bucky responds.
Steve nods. Sometimes busting a few bags or running till your knees are about to give out is a better rest than lying in bed all day.
“Do you want to talk about yesterday?” Steve asks. It wasn’t the worst mission they had been on, but it clearly hit Bucky in a way Steve hadn’t seen in a while.
Bucky laughs. Now that is unusual. “No Stevie, I don't want to talk about it,” he says, standing straight to look Steve in the eye.
Steve puts his hands up in surrender and backs away, getting ready to begin his own workout. Bucky knows he can talk to him whenever he’s ready.
Steve is thirty minutes into his own 2 hour workout, when Sam comes in.
“Oh, look who the cat dragged in,” Steve joked.
“Yeah yeah, joke all you want, but some of us regular humans need a full 8 hours,” Sam says, putting his towel and water on the bench, getting ready to join Steve on the treadmills.
He peaks over at Bucky who didn’t so much as turn his head when he came in.
“Everything alright with Buck?” Sam says quietly.
“I don’t know man, I don’t think so. He’s been a bit off since yesterday,” Steve says, slowing his run to a walk.
Sam is quiet for a minute before asking, “is it about Y/n?”
The bag Bucky is punching tears and sand spills all around him. No one says anything as he kicks it away and goes to pick up a new one. He’s back to his knuckle-bruising exercise in seconds.
“Why do you say that?” Steve asks Sam.
“Well, he didn’t get a note yesterday, right?” Sam asks.
“No, but he said it didn’t matter,” Steve replies.
Sam scoffs. “Yeah, ok. He says one thing but means another.”
There is a loud thump from Bucky’s side of the gym, and Steve and Sam look over to see he dropped the bag from its hook. He threw it back to its spot against the wall and grabbed his towel and water.
“Can’t you guys just shut the fuck up,” he seethes quietly, almost to himself, and he leaves the gym.
Steve and Sam look at each other.
“Yeah, it’s definitely about Y/n,” Sam says.
– – –
The next mission has Bucky begging Tony to let him go.
“I told you, Manchurian Candidate, this mission doesn’t require your skill set. I already have Natasha going. Just hang back for this one.” Tony says, patting Bucky on the back.
Bucky stops and glares at Tony. “I’ll pull rank,” is all he says.
Tony gasps, staring at the metal-armed soldier. He thinks about it for a minute before walking back up to him. “Look, Sargeant, it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that we already have an objective laid out and a game plan. Natasha, Peter, and Wanda already have this covered. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but not today.”
Bucky continues to glare at Tony.
Tony just stares back.
12 minutes go by in complete silence before Wanda rounds the corner, ready to walk down to the boarding dock when she stops in the middle of the staring contest.
“What are you two doing?” She asks.
“Trying to see who will win this staring contest to see if Barnes here gets to go on the mission today,” Tony says, not breaking eye contact.
“Oh, well if you want to take my spot, you’re more than welcome,” Wanda says, smiling at him.
Bucky breaks eye contact to see if she’s serious.
“Aha! I win. You can't go. Thanks Wanda,” Tony says, taking his leave.
“Tony, wait!” She calls after him. When he doesn’t stop or turn around, she turns to Bucky and hands him the medical supplies bag. “You go, I’ll talk to him.”
Bucky’s mouth breaks into a tiny smile, a silent ‘thanks’, and he’s off.
As he’s making his way down, he passes by the kitchen and sees you sitting there, back to him, head bent over the island, clearly focused on something.
He doesn’t even know that he’s walking towards you, medical bag still in hand, until you turn around, aware of another presence in the room.
“Hi Buck!” You exclaim, almost like you’re happy to see him. He wishes you would always look at him like that. “Are you going somewhere?” You ask, nodding to the bag he’s carrying.
“Yeah, Wanda and I just got switched for today’s mission,” he manages to say.
You take a deep breath and think for a second. “Ok, take that down and then come back up for the lunches,” you say, smiling up at him.
He nods, returning your smile, and just as he’s about to turn back around, he looks down in front of you and sees you’re writing the infamous lunch notes that he still hasn’t received.
“I still have to write yours, because I already wrote Wanda’s, so when you come back it’ll be ready for you,” you say, looking up at him.
God, if he could just frame one moment of his life, he would frame this one. He would keep it up forever, until the nail rusted out of the wall, or a natural disaster tore it down. And even then, he would put it back up, just to see you look at him like that again.
He nods and leaves the room.
Despite being a super soldier with an increased metabolism, and therefore equipped with super speed, he’d never walked slower in his life. He wants to give you the most amount of time to write him something… something as beautiful as the one you wrote Steve, or as kind as the one you wrote Bruce, or as grateful as the one you wrote Tony.
He wanted something special from you, even if he didn’t deserve it, even if he couldn’t think of a single thing he would write about himself on there. He wanted whatever you would give him, because anything from you was a gift, and anything from you was special.
But he still thought he’d give you an ample amount of time to think about something nice to say. Not that you needed time to think of something nice, but that you needed time to think of something nice to say about him .
He comes back almost thirty minutes later, when the trip down to the dock takes about a total of ten minutes to and from the kitchen.
You already have all the tote packed, and all the notes set carefully inside each of their bags.
You smile when you see him come back in, and gently brush a piece of hair behind your ear.
“I didn’t think you were coming back, soldier,” you joke lightheartedly.
He chuckles at that and picks up the tote. “Of course I came back. I’ll always come back,” he smiled at you, but spoke softly.
You realize you two are alone and you just feel this incredible pull between you two. You take a few extra steps towards him as he continues looking at you. You’ve never felt more seen in your life, by anyone, as you step a little closer to the sweetheart of a man in front of you.
He’s come back around since the last mission, and he’s actually been coming around you more since then, too. You’ve really enjoyed your time with him over the past few weeks, and it’s either the attention he’s been giving you that is making your head all fuzzy, or the way he’s looking at you now, like you just hung the stars and moon for only him to look at.
You stand in front of him, turning your head down to look as you uncurl his fingers and remove the bag from his hand. He gently releases it and you place it on the floor.
You look back up at him and, ever so softly, placing one hand on his cheek. He immediately leans into your warmth, and your heart flutters just a little faster.
“You come home to me now, you hear? I’m already looking forward to you getting back,” you say quietly, just in the space that you and him share, and even though the kitchen is empty and silent otherwise, it feels like you’re in an arena with your heartbeat playing over the speakers for no one to hear but him.
He closes his eyes and leans further into your touch, so you bring your other hand up to the other side to steady him.
He turns his head into your palm and kisses the skin there gently.
“I promise,” he whispers.
You nod at him. Whether it’s the intimate moment you two are sharing, or the fear that always surfaces when he leaves, you close your eyes to prevent the tears from spilling over. You wrap your arms around his neck and you absolutely melt against him when you feel him wrap his around you too.
“I promise,” he says.
– – –
Turns out, they definitely could’ve used Wanda on the mission with them. Maybe even Thor and Steve too. Bucky would’ve liked Tony to come along, just to prove that extra hands were needed.
As he quickly leads a limping Natasha back to the quinjet, Peter comes swinging in behind them, stringing up webs to block the bullets from the enemy shooting at them. As soon as they’re inside, he listens very closely to every order that Bucky barks at him.
“Close the hangar doors! Activate the ricochet protocol! Start the engine!”
“Which one is the engine?!” Peter frantically asks.
“The big red button!”
Peter goes to push the big red button.
“No! Not that one! Dammit kid, come sit with her, I’ll do it,” Bucky says, grumbling as he shoves past Peter and into the pilot seat.
“You need a co-pilot,” Nat says from where she lays on the back seats.
“And you need to stay down. I got this, but Peter needs to look after you. Kid?”
“Yes Sergeant?” Peter squeaks.
“You know how to wrap and ice an ankle?” Bucky asks him.
“Uh.. yes! I had to do it for Ned once, cause he fell off this really cool guy’s skateboard at school and busted his-”
“I didn’t ask for a story kid, just do it and keep your eyes on her. Make sure she doesn’t fall asleep.”
“Why?” Peter asks.
“She hit her head really badly back there and might have a concussion. I’ll take a look when we’re flying steady.”
When they’re a good few hundred miles away from the objective point and back on track to the compound, Bucky sets the quinjet to fly on autopilot.
He gets up and stretches for a minute, before making his way to the back where his teammates sit. Nat is still lying down, but she’s kept awake and occupied by Peter.
“Thanks kid, you did a good job. Now go sit up at the front while I take a look at our patient here,” Bucky says, half smiling down at Nat.
Peter gleams with pride and bounds up to the front to sit in the pilot seat.
“Don’t touch anything,” Bucky says after him.
“He would make a good nurse,” Nat says quietly. She’s smiling at Bucky but he can tell that she’s really feeling the pain and exhaustion.
“How are you doing over here,” Bucky says, kneeling in front of her and gently taking her ankle to check Peter’s wrap job.
“I’m ok. Tired. Hungry too,” Nat says, putting an arm over her eyes to block out the light.
Deeming Peter’s wrapping skills sufficient, he gently puts her leg back and stands up to move towards the lunches you had packed for them.
“Well, I can’t do anything about your fatigue, but I can get you to eat,” he says, bringing the lunches over to where Nat is now sitting up. He calls Peter over to get his own lunch, then sends him back to the front.
“I think it’s taco salad and rice today,” Bucky says.
“Hmm,” Nat hums, smiling at the thought of good food.
They eat in silence for a few minutes before Nat suddenly sits at attention and begins looking through her bag again.
When she pulls out the little note, she smiles to herself and unfolds it.
Dear Natasha,
I know you’ve been craving taco salad for a while now,
so I decided to make it just for you today, and you know
how much I hate cooking ground beef. But I’d always endure
the worst conditions for you. I packed you some of my extra CBD
tablets in case any of you need it - I know it’s just the three of you
today, so if anyone needs some pain relief, please use them :)
You’re a tough cookie and I know you will get through any tough
battle that you’re put into. You’re the queen of badasses! But I
know that even queens need the support of their subjects every
once in a while. And my dear, you deserve the mantel more
than anyone. I’m proud to call you my best friend, because
no one in the whole world would look after me like you do.
So please, watch over your team, but watch your own back first.
I need you to come home to me. To my queen of queens, I love you.
See you soon,
Y/n
Bucky decides that the exhaustion really is getting to Nat, because she is crying in front of him. Fat, watery tears cascading down her rosy cheeks, quiet hiccups sounding from her mouth.
“Nat?” Bucky begins, but she holds up a hand to quiet him.
A few moments later, she calms down and points to her duffle bag. Bucky slides it over to her and she pulls out your bottle of CBD pills that you had gotten prescribed for after a nasty accident with the stairs and a plank of wood. Bucky doesn’t know the whole story, but legend says that you can still hear the sound of a snapping 2x4 in the stairwell if you stand still and remain very quiet.
Nat downs two of the pills with some water, and begins to settle back into her spot. She’d eaten about half of her meal, and promised to eat the rest later. She lies down but Bucky is resiliently watching to make sure she doesn't fall asleep.
“What does yours say?” Nat asks him.
“My…my note?” Bucky asks.
Nat nods at him.
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m a little worried about reading it.”
“Why?” She asks.
“I…I don’t know. We had this moment, Y/n and I, before we left. I’m afraid that whatever is on that note might ruin it.”
Nat nods in understanding, then she’s quiet. “But what if it doesn’t?” She says.
“Doesn’t what? Ruin the moment?”
Nat nods. “Yeah. I mean if this moment was so great that you want to keep it, then I don’t see how her feelings could be any different in that lunch note than in person.”
Bucky thinks about what Nat said. He thinks about it as he takes the paper out of the bag, he thinks about it as he places it in his breast pocket, and he thinks about it when he sends Peter back to sit with Natasha.
Before he takes the jet out of autopilot, his fingertip runs along the edge of the paper, right where the note creases.
He unfolds the paper and reads:
Dear Bucky,
I know this note is a long-time coming, but I’ve
planned to write you one for some time now.
You’re impact to the team has been nothing -
The plane jerks.
Bucky’s head shoots up at the same time Nat’s does, and they look towards the cockpit where Peter was supposed to be sitting, but he’s flailing, screaming his head off.
“I PUSHED THE RED BUTTON! THE RED BUTTON!”
Bucky flies to the pilot’s seat in a second, the note left behind on his seat. He pushes Peter towards the back.
“Sit down and don’t move, ” he says sternly, authoritatively.
Nat immediately straps in and tells a crying Peter to do the same.
Bucky tries to override the controls as the plane descends, at full speed, straight for the ground below them. Unfortunately, the team didn’t cover this part in the quinjet training when he had joined. But Bucky’s smart, and he’s well versed in self-preservation.
Nat’s attempting to calm Peter, who’s shrieking as the jet plummets.
“Nat, if you don’t shut that wailing idiot up, I will crash this plane.” Bucky shouts to the back, still attempting to take control.
“Pull the yellow cord from the button and insert your emergency key into the slot beside it - will you SHUT UP!” Nat tells Bucky, then turns to Peter and covers his mouth with her hand.
Bucky tears the yellow cord as she told him but the keys - he can’t find them.
“My keys, I don’t -” Bucky turns back to her.
“Here!” She throws him her set, and straps on a parachute, then shows Peter how to do his.
Bucky jams the key into the slot and immediately the controls come back on, but the jet is still in a nose dive, headed straight for the ground.
20 meters, he tries to pull up. If the others could get out, now…
15 meters, he thinks of you, in the kitchen.
10 meters, he remembers your note, and the gold leaves you drew around the edges.
5 meters, he remembers the last word he read, and how his life, and now his death, will amount to just that.
Nothing .
– – –
The blaring alert sounds around the whole compound.
Precise coordinates of where the alert was released come through the controls at the compound that Steve’s monitoring, and as soon as it sounds, he’s out the door and in the quinjet before anyone can register what’s happening.
Half of the team heads straight out to the crash site as soon as Natasha’s emergency alert comes through.
Everyone wants to go, but they say no to you .
As the other half of the team grabs any medical and rescue supplies they can carry to the second jet, Sam assures you they will find them, and that he needs you to stay back to answer any calls that might come through the tower. You can then alert the search team of them.
In what state they will find them, he doesn’t specify.
The tidbit about emergency alerts sent by those on missions, is that it doesn’t specify what emergency they are in. The general consensus is that they are approaching impending doom and backup is required immediately. That’s why one person from the team is always monitoring the controls in the tower.
No one has ever sent an emergency alert.
The fact that it comes from Natasha, one of the originals, and undoubtedly one of the best on the team, means that someone, if not all of them, are going to die.
As stubborn and hero-centric as the team is, they know when their lives are in danger and need immediate assistance. When the team started breaking up missions into smaller groups, Tony installed the alert into everyone’s suits, should the need for help ever arise.
And now it has, and you could just break down at the thought of any of them dying.
Your best friend, the boy you’ve looked over since the beginning, and Bucky .
Oh no, not Bucky .
As the second jet lifts off and heads towards Nat’s alert coordinates, you fall to your knees and break .
– – –
The jet is approaching the coordinates, and Steve descends below the cloud cover to survey the upcoming landscape for any visual of the team that has sent the alert.
Three miles away, and he spots a large gray smoke cloud radiating up from the ground, where he can only imagine their quinjet was.
His heart, which was pounding loudly in his ears, has stopped altogether.
Despite the noise coming from behind him, Tony arguing with Clint about something idiotic and useless, Steve sets the jet to an automatic safe landing. He grabs his shield, walks to the side door and opens it, ready to jump.
The noise ceases and everyone gets into position to exit the quinjet as soon as it lands. Steve doesn’t wait, neither does Tony or Rhodey, who take flight as soon as the door opens.
They begin scouting the area as Steve runs straight to the crashed quinjet that his best friends were supposed to come home in.
It’s in pieces, the wings nowhere to be found and the nose of the jet smashed so far into the dirt of the earth, it’s created a crater.
Steve pants, panic a full blown storm crashing around inside of him. He calls out for them.
“BUCKY! NAT! PETER!”
No response.
There’s a nearby forest that he runs to, maybe they got out and took shelter in there from all the fumes projecting from the raging jet-fuel fire.
“BUCKY! NAT! PETER!” He calls out again.
The second jet lands, and Sam comes flying towards him, as Wanda, Vision, and the rest join everyone scouting the area.
“She doesn’t know we’re here, does she?” Sam asks.
Steve shakes his head. Whatever comms connection the tower had to the three of them was disconnected before the alert was sent through (which should’ve been the first thing to set Steve off when he was monitoring the mission, but sometimes it happens so he didn’t check in until it was too late), so there is no way to alert them now that they’ve come.
Steve runs back to the crashed jet, seeing the rest of the team scattering the area.
“Has anyone been inside yet?” he asks no one in particular.
“We can’t get inside, it’s completely smashed Steve,” Clint tells him.
“I can,” he says, and approaches it.
“It’s too dangerous,” Sam stops him. “You can’t go in there.”
Steve thinks for a moment. Red wisps catch his eye.
“Wanda,” he calls. She turns to him. “Take it apart.”
Tony steps forward. “It could damage what limited stability that’s keeping it from collapsing completely.”
“It’s already crashed-!” Steve argues, but Tony stops him.
“If they’re in there, it’ll crush them.”
Steve stares, a moment, then two. He breathes out, turns in a circle, completely lost.
His best friends, his best friends . He bellows out, then pushes past the rest of them.
“BUCKY! NAT! PETER!” He cries out.
He approaches the jet, tries to peek in from the small window on the door that hasn’t been completely crushed upon impact, then rips it off the jet. There is a warning groan that comes from the structure of the jet, but aside form the door, nothing else moves.
Tony, Sam, and Thor attempt to pull Steve away from the jet, trying to keep him from going inside.
“BUCKY! NAT! PETE!- GET OFF OF ME! BUCKY!” Steve yells, trying to fight them off.
“Let me,” Vision says.
Everyone stops. Steve stops trying to fight the three men off of him, and Clint, Rhodey, Bruce, and Wanda all stare at the sight that is Vision.
“Due to my computerized nature, I am able to use holographic manipulation to enter the quinjet without disrupting its structural integrity. I can see if they are in there,” Vision says, approaching the doorway that Steve opened up.
“If you’re sure,” Tony says.
Vision nods, and within seconds, he becomes invisible.
No one can see if he’s entered the jet, but a few long moments later he reemerges.
“I detect no signs of life or organic matter inside.”
“They’re not in there?” Steve says breathlessly.
“I’m afraid not, Captain,” Vision responds.
– – –
In the tower, you’re hunched over the controls, waiting for any sign from the three who crashed or the rescue team.
Nothing comes through for many long hours, but you can’t move. You don’t want to miss anything that might come through, but you also can’t physically move.
You’re wracked with grief and worry for everyone that’s not in the tower. Your friends, your family. Any one of them could be in danger, and you can’t do anything but this to assure they come home safely, or just come home.
The thought of anyone hurt or dead… you dissolve into a bout of tears again.
You get up to grab another tissue box, as you’ve already gone through one, when you hear it.
It’s a faint static, and totally indiscernible at first, but you keep listening for any hint of radio connection that’s coming through the tower.
It’s not the rescue team, you’ve muted their comms incoming to the tower in case you hear anything from the other three. Mostly, you just can’t listen to them say ‘they’re not here’ anymore.
You wait with bated breath, pouring all of your hope into the small static response that’s coming through to your end.
“....I know what I’m doing…” comes though.
It’s mostly static but you’ve never ever screamed louder in your life. And you just happened to be leaning on your response button.
You know that voice and ohhhh and that voice always sends shivers up your spine.
The other line is quiet for a few more minutes, and you’re still reeling from hearing it, thinking you’ve imagined it but it would’ve been a weird sentence to imagine but then
“...Hi doll. Miss me?”
You think you might keel over and die with relief.
“Shut up, she misses me,” and you’re promptly sobbing now because you hear Natasha’s voice come through.
You press the response button frantically. “Oh my God are you ok? Bucky? Nat? Peter? Are you guys ok? The team came to rescue you, they got your emergency alert, Nat, and they came to the site where the jet crashed.”
You wait patiently for their response.
“...We’re ok… didn’t catch all of that… where are they?” Nat asks back, the static cutting in and out from her words.
“Where the jet crashed! They’re at the crash site!” You respond frantically.
“We ejected, we’re a few miles off, northwards,” she says.
“Your comms are working, how?” You ask. “Maybe you can reach their signal?” You say hopefully.
“Your boy here knows a thing or two about… technology,” you hear her say. “Fixed the extra comms I didn’t know I had… thanks.” And you knew she was thanking you for always knowing to pack the extra things the team might look over.
Your head drops into your hands and you allow yourself a second to cry.
They were ok, they were ok , but you needed to alert the rest of the team to scout north of the coordinates. Then you can cry of happiness and joy and relief.
You reach over the controls to Steve’s comm.
“Cap, I got them,” you say.
He comes through. “Where?” Is all he says.
“North a few miles, I don’t know what state they’re all in but Nat says-”
“Nat? She’s there?”
“Yeah, she’s there Cap.”
“Got it. On our way,” he says, then alerts the rest of the team to search northward.
They’re gonna find them and bring them home, you think, and your family will be whole again.
– – –
You’re standing on the tarmac, waiting for the two jets to land, both carrying your family to safety.
The first lands and they start to pile out, as Clint wheels Nat who’s on a stretcher.
“Hi,” you say, more relieved than ever to see her in front of you, as he wheels her closer to you.
“Aren’t you a sight to see, my god,” she says, a big smile on her face, even though she’s covered in dirt and bandaged to the nines.
“I’m gonna get her inside,” Clint yells over the whirl of the jet sounds.
You nod for him to go ahead, but not before giving Nat a kiss on her head and him a big hug.
The rest of the team passes by you, some giving hugs, others nods who are carrying medical loads inside.
Peter comes out and runs straight towards you, pulling you into the tightest hug you’ve ever felt. You embrace him back and think to yourself, you’ll take all his hugs if you both never have to endure that fright again.
You layer kiss after kiss all over his face once he puts you down, then hugging him again.
“Never ever scare me like that again, ok? My heart can’t take it,” you tell him.
“I promise. I never want to put anyone through that again.”
“What do you mean?” You pull away from him to look at his face.
He stutters for a minute, not quite making sense, something about a red button, and a very angry-
A metal hand lands on his shoulder, and you both look up at him.
“Scram, Spidey.”
Peter gives you a sheepish smile then bounds inside, away from the disheveled super soldier.
You look at Bucky and he looks at you.
He looks like he wants to say something, but you quickly inhale a sob and throw yourself at him.
Like the strong, solid man he is, he doesn’t budge, but engulfs you up in his arms as you wrap your legs around his waist, as if you’re trying your hardest to mold yourself into him to never be separated from him again.
“You came home,” you cry into his shoulder.
“I promised you I would.”
– – –
As you and Bucky walk back inside, Tony stops you both and tells you a post-mission meeting will take place in an hour, once everyone has had time to settle.
You walk Bucky back to his room when he tells you he wants to shower and change, having been gone for almost 24 hours and nearly dying (although he didn’t mention that last bit).
He tells you as you walk, that at the last minute, Nat pulled Bucky from the pilot’s seat and parachuted them out to safety, but the wind caught her and Peters’ chutes and dragged them away from the collision, which inevitably saved them.
Given that she had a messed up ankle and possibly a concussion, she really showed just how much of a superhero she was to her partner.
You make a mental note to bake her extra peanut butter peanut butter cookies with a jelly topping.
Speaking of notes…
“Bucky, did you read my letter?” you ask him with a hint of shyness. You remember writing about your feelings, maybe not the whole truth, but if he knew how you felt…
“Um, yeah. Not all of it, but some I did,” he says, not quite looking in your eyes.
He seems to shut down a bit at the mention of it, which sends a pang of doubt throughout your chest. So you think quickly to remedy the situation.
“Well, I was thinking of rewriting it, since it was a little rushed the last time. Would you like another?” you ask him, finally catching his eye and sending him your best smile.
He looks at you, then his door, licks his lips, then smiles back. “Yeah, why don’t you write it while I clean up, then give it to me after?”
You nod then leave him to clean up, as you find some stationary and your favorite gold pen.
– – –
Dear Bucky,
When I first met you, you were this grumpy, closed-off
super soldier who didn’t allow anyone to sit next to him,
let alone for anyone to be your friend (besides Steve, of
course). But overtime, you let us all in, little by little,
and let me tell you, we were over the moon that you
finally opened up to us, especially me. I often find myself
eager to hear your snarky remarks towards Sam, or your
Russian accent when discussing private matters with Nat,
or your soft words towards me when it’s just us, standing
in the kitchen making breakfast together. Although it took
you time to befriend me, I have to say I’ve never been more
grateful to have someone in my life than I am for you.
But there is a problem with that. I don’t want to be your friend.
Because the way I feel for you isn’t what I feel for friends.
I feel butterflies with you, and sunshine after gray cloudy days,
and I feel so much relief when I see you walk off those jets,
I could crumble. But you’d be there to pick me back up with
just one of your smiles and a “hey there, doll.” What I want
with you is more than friendship, because I have a love so strong
for you that when I heard your voice on the comms earlier, I swear
it could have traveled through the radio and straight into your heart.
You mean so much to me, that I’m writing you a whole ass love letter
instead of a lunch note. No one else on the team would receive a
lunch note like what you would get, because you’re not like
everyone else. You deserve more than what I could give them.
You are absolutely everything to me.
Love,
Y/n
With a final flourish of your pen, and a pretty gold border meant to replicate the gold inlay on his arm, you fold up the note.
In the meeting room, everyone takes a seat around the large conference table, ready to discuss what went wrong on the mission. Natasha was admitted to the med bay and would sit out on the meeting as per the request of Bruce. Everyone else was present though, and when Bucky enters the room, he takes the seat directly beside you, pushing Sam to the floor in order to do so.
To start off, Bucky and Peter recount the events of the original mission they were sent out on. Bucky makes sure Tony and Steve (who both made the mission schedule), were well informed that they did not have enough hands on the mission, so the first order made was that there was to be no less than four people per mission, with at least one supernatural being to go along (aka Wanda, Thor, Bruce, or Vision).
The second order made was to remove The Red Button, which Tony informs everyone is a lock on the jet’s power, essentially making the engines shut off, which is what caused the jet to take a nose dive towards the ground. The purpose of it is in case the jet is taken over by enemy forces and needs to be shut down. Tony does admit the placing of the button was a rough draft, meant to be reevaluated and moved elsewhere in each jet. We all agree to it, but to make it easier to turn the power back on.
It’s back to the drawing board for Tony on that bit.
Peter explains that he accidentally placed his lunch on the button when he was searching for the lunch note you had written him. That was the third order of business: no more mission lunch notes.
You feel absolutely embarrassed about it, but the soothing hand Bucky places on your knee helps to bring down some of the heat that had risen in your cheeks over the matter.
“You can still write notes, just leave them for us to open here at the compound,” Steve says, throwing you a reassuring smile.
We quickly move onto the next thing, which you’re super grateful for as you feel terrible about the whole note debacle. Those who received one, those who didn’t; it was all such a mess. Your intentions were pure, originally meant to help Peter feel more at ease. But with him being unmindful of his surroundings just to get to the note, it makes you feel like it was partially your fault.
“You can’t blame yourself for the kid. It’s not your fault your words mean so much to him,” Bucky says with a wink, almost as if he could read your mind.
Tony brings up the fact that Steve went a little ballistic at the thought of both Bucky and Nat being in mortal danger, with no way of him knowing where they were or how to get to them. Tony agrees to make more resilient trackers and ear comms, ones less likely to be damaged during fights or crashes.
Steve admitts to his less than professional behavior, but he lets it slip that he and Nat were a “thing”, which with more prying from the group (mostly Wanda and Tony), they were in love and he has bought a ring to propose to her with.
Despite their ability to hide such a secret, which isn't surprising given Nat is one of the best spies in the world, and Steve is a very private person, we’re all very happy for him and wish him the best of luck with it.
“She’s gonna kill me when she finds out you all know now,” Steve grumbles into his hands.
“Why wouldn’t you guys tell us?” Sam asks, obviously a little offended that his friend hid something so serious from him.
“Because we didn’t want you guys acting weird around us,” he says.
“Would us ‘acting weird’ be before or after you almost killed yourself trying to find her?” Sam asks.
“Point taken,” Steve says, and excuses himself, wanting to go check on his future fiancee.
“Did you know?” you ask Bucky.
“No,” he says. “In fact, I thought you two had feelings for each other,” he says quietly.
“Me and Steve?” you laugh out loud, making Bucky chuckle too.
“Yeah, sounds kinda silly now,” he says.
“Well, speaking of that,” you say, and pull out his note.
“Is this my note?” he asks.
“Mmhmm, the last lunch note,” you say with a smile.
As the room starts to clear, the team going to eat dinner, you and Bucky take a detour and head to the balcony on the roof.
You’re nervous for him to read the note, but the worst he can say is he’s not ready for anything. Bucky isn’t the type to mess with people’s feelings, he’ll tell you like it is, so with the way he acts towards you, you’re not totally out of pocket for thinking he might have feelings for you too.
As he pulls out the note and begins to read, you take a moment to view the city expanding below you, all the glittering lights and people living their lives.
With this past mission scare, you decided not to hold back your feelings for Bucky. As long as you put it out there, there was no risk of denying yourself whatever life you could gain from being with him. And you knew it would be one heck of a life.