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Schlatt has always been secretive about what he was really like. Hiding behind a personality online, pretending to be this super business and horny prick who only cares about himself. That would sell his friends for profit. But in reality, it was the complete opposite. He’s a closeted Asexual (and Biromantic), he really cared about his friends, and the business thing was just an act. And all of the lies and pretending were piling up on him. He just wanted it to end.
In an attempt to fix this, he moved to LA to be closer to where most of his friends live (he was even living in the same building as Ted) but it just made it worse. He was glad he lived close to his friends and was this close to being more open when his RSD kicked in. RSD stands for Rejection sensitive dysphoria. Rejection-sensitive dysphoria is when a person feels intense emotional pain related to rejection. And Schlatt really sucked when it came to managing his.
He had been planning to kill himself for a few weeks. First, he thought he could just drink himself to death. But then he figured that he had built up such an immunity to alcohol that it would take too long. So he went to the next obvious option. Just shoot himself. He had the guns. Now he just had to pull the trigger.
But first, he had to get a couple of things straight. He first sent a couple of messages to people he would miss, Charlie, Minx, Swagger, his aunt and uncle, and his brother and sister. It was the average kind of thing. Apologizing for not being a better person/friend. No one responded. It was for the better. That was his closure.
But when it came to Ted. Every alteration of the message didn’t feel right. It was around 15 minutes later and he was beginning to panic. He had to say goodbye to Ted somehow. He didn’t want to leave before saying goodbye. He could just go upstairs and say goodbye in person. But that would take too long. What if Ted made him stay longer? What if he was about to film a video and wanted him to be a part of it? Or worse. What if Ted was busy and couldn’t talk? He had to say goodbye.
He calmed himself down. He could just call Ted. It was fairly late being around 10:00 so he hoped with everything in him that Ted was awake. He picked up his phone, opened his contacts, and placed his final phone call.
The phone rang for what felt like ages, and when he was about to hang up he heard a voice.
“Hello? Schlatt?”
“Hey Ted.” He said. He had to be as nonchalant as possible. Ted couldn’t know what was going to happen.
“Hey man! How are you?”
“Alright” he responded. He looked over at his gun. It was set on his desk. Waiting to be used.
“That's good! Why’d you call?”
“Oh…Um”, He hadn’t really thought this through.
“I just wanted to hear your voice…” That was a shit excuse. But at the same time, it was true.
“Umm… Okay? You know you have my key right? You could just come up and see me?”
“Yeah I know but…” He took a breath.
“Listen Ted I need to be real with you for a second.” This conversation had to end, he had to finish it or either Ted was going to convince him to stay, or Schlatt was going to say something stupid. Neither could happen.
“I wanted to call and apologize.”
“Apologize? For what? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I kind of have. I’m a terrible person in case you couldn’t tell.” That was true.
“No, you’re not. You’re my best friend Schlatt. And are you sure you’re okay? You sound a bit off.”
“Nonono I’m fine.” He said. He was beginning to get impatient. This was taking too long.
“I-just-...Ted-... listen..I-” why couldn’t he put this into words? Just spit it out.
“I’m leaving.” he finally said.
“Leaving? Where are you going?”
“I’m going somewhere far away-” well shit that was pretty bad but it was something.
“-and I’m going to be there for a long time. So I just wanted to call you and settle any scores before I left.” That was the best he could do. It was the truth in a way. He was leaving and he would be in the place for a very long time. Eternally.
//
When Ted got a call from Schlatt at almost 11 at night he expected some dumb thing but now, the words that were coming out of Schlatts mouth were beginning to really worry Ted. Leaving? Where the hell was Schlatt going? For a long time-
oh.
oh.
This was bad, really bad. Schlatt was going to kill himself. That couldn't happen. Not on Ted’s watch.
He made sure to keep Schlatt on the line as he got out of bed and began to put his shoes on. He knew something was wrong when Schlatt said ‘I just wanted to hear your voice.’ He had to make it down to Schlatt’s apartment. But in the meantime, he had to stall. Act oblivious. Because Schlatt could not possibly think that he was this dumb by saying all of this and believing that he wouldn’t pick up on it. ‘How to stall, how to stall’ he thought as he was fumbling for his keys
“So where are you going?”
“What?”
“Like, is it a tropical place? Is it cold? Are you going back to Austin? Where are you going?” That had to work or at least get him to talk for a little longer while Ted came downstairs. Stairs were the quickest way. The elevator would take too long.
“Well umm. I’m not sure what it’s like honestly. It’s not Austin that's for sure, It might be hot. I’ll find out when I get there.”
“Okay. What do you hope it’s going to be like? And why can’t you call me from where you’re going? Is there like bad cell service or…?” Ted was making this up on the fly. He had one more floor to go and needed to buy more time.
“That's a good question… I hope it’s nice. I never thought about what I wanted it to look like. I guess I just hope it’s nice.”
He was running now. He had made it to Schlatt’s floor but had the misfortune to have taken the wrong set of stairs and had to run across half the building at 11 at night. ‘Come on Ted. faster. Faster. Faster.’
He made it.
Everything went quiet. He hadn’t heard anything so he assumed Schlatt was still alive. Speaking of which he was still on the line. He opened the door not bothering to knock. As he walked over to Schlatt’s room, He was still holding the phone up to his ear. He placed his hand on the door and opened it.
//
Schlatt heard the door open; the last person he expected to see was Ted.
“Ted?”
“Hey, Schlatt.”
“What are you doing here?” fuck this wasn’t ment to happen.
Schlatt was in his room leaning against his desk. He had a gun next to him. He was ready. He had accepted his fate. But the one thing he didn’t take into account was Ted coming to stop him.
“I’m here to stop you jackass,” Ted stated.
“Right…”
Ted walked over to him and took the gun and walked out of the room. Schlatt went and sat on the bed he kept in his office. He expected Ted to give him an earful. On how he shouldn’t have done that.
Schlatt looked down at his arms. They had cuts all over them. Some fresher than others. Ted was most likely to give him shit for it too.
Ted came back and layed next to him on the bed.
“What'd you do with the gun?” Schlatt asked.
Ted turned and looked at him. He had his arms crossed over his body. He didn’t look visibly angry or upset .
“I threw it out of the window,” Ted responded.
“Yeah, I doubt you did,” Schlatt said leaning against the wall that the bed was next to.
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Ted spoke up.
“I don’t mean for this to come off weird or selfish or anything, but can I ask you something?” Ted asked, turning to Schlatt.
“Sure, I have nothing to lose” He sighed
Ted took a moment to gather his thoughts and took a deep breath before continuing.
“I don’t want to sound rude by saying this but it’s the truth and you need honesty right now,” He stated.
“Spit it out Ted” Grumbled Schlatt.
Ted fidgeted with his hoodie before beginning to speak.
“You know you can trust me right? Like if you ever needed to talk to anyone that I am always here if you need someone to talk too,” He said sitting up. “Like for fucks sake, I care a bout you Schlatt. I hope you know that. Because you look like you’ve been in a lot of pain and I always thought that if you were going to something that you’d come and chat with me.” He was fidgeting but he hoped to get his point across.
Another period of silence. It felt less like it was choking them this time. Schlatt felt horrible. He didn’t realize that what he was doing was also hurting the people around him.
“Fuck I’m sorry Ted. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the problem here, we both know that,” He admitted. He then tried to explain to his friend about his RSD hoping with every atom in his being that Ted would understand that he’s just a piece of shit.
Ted was by this time sitting across from him. After Schlatt finished explaining and giving what felt like excuses, he looked up at Ted.
Ted had this look in his eyes. He’d never seen Ted look at him, hell anyone, before. It was this incredible fondness that Schlatt had never been looked at with.
“You good there Ted?” Schlatt asked nervously.
A surprise chuckle came from Ted.
Ted placed a hand on Schlatt’s face.
“Oh Schlatt…” Ted replied fondly. “You’re a real idiot for making me do this.”
“What the fuck does tha-mph”
Ted was kissing him. And holy fuck did it feel amazing. Schlatt leaned in a little. All he wanted now was to kiss Ted.
Ted pulled away a little sooner than Schlatt might have wanted.
Ted had put both of his hands on Schlatt’s face, cupping it.
“I love you okay? I love you so much. I came to stop you because it would have killed me if I came and found you dead.” Said Ted pushing their foreheads together. It felt like some dumb lover thing that they shouldn’t be doing, but they were doing it anyway.
“I’m sorry,” Breathed Schlatt.
Schlatt leaned over and fell into Ted’s lap.
“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s okay," cooed Ted, running his fingers through Schlatt’s hair.
“I love you Ted,” Schlatt whispered.
“I love you too” Smiled Ted