Chapter Text
He’s running. He’s running like his life depends on it. He’s never been this fast and never felt this slow. How can it feel like it’s been hours since he started when it’s barely even been minutes yet and why is he making no progress at all? Why is this fucking building so fucking long? It’s just one library, for fuck’s sake; how long can it take to make it past it? There’s barely any time left. He has to hurry, he has to make it, he has to—
“Ash!”
What the—
He doesn’t quite stop dead in his tracks but it still slows him down considerably, his head spinning from side to side, trying to find the source. Eiji. That was Eiji’s voice, he’s sure of it, but it can’t be, can it, he’s not here, he shouldn’t be here, he’s at the airport, that’s the whole reason Ash is trying to get there in the first place, Sing said so too, how can he be he—
A blur of colour, approaching too fast. Danger. It’s only because he’s still doing his best imitation of a bobblehead toy that’s been flipped sideways that he catches it out of the corner of his eye, manages to sidestep it just in time. That his instincts kick in, acting long before his brain decides to join the party. That blur is still within reach, use your momentum to grab it before it can change direction, twist its arm, pin it down with all the force in your body, do it quickly, do it NOW. He’s panting with the effort, his vision swimming as his foot kicks the, the – knife – away, as far away as possible, out of reach of that hand furiously grabbing for it, that face twisted with rage and hatred.
“You had your guard down! How did you—! What the hell happened?”
Lao.
Just one second. One second later and that knife would have hit.
“You hate me that much???” he yells and it's only because he needs one hand to keep him pinned down and the other to keep the letter from falling – he almost loses one of the pages and again, it’s just one second, one second that stands between him catching it and it being blown away, being lost to him forever – that he doesn't shoot him right then and there. He almost ruined everything; he almost—
“It wasn't about that,” Lao grits out, glowering at the pavement. “It's nothing personal. I just can't let you kill Sing.”
“What the hell are you talking about? You think I almost died saving him just so I could kill him later?”
“But the fight—”
“THERE IS NO FIGHT YOU FUCKING MORON! We settled things, you'd know that if you'd bothered to fucking TALK to him.”
Lao goes still, both as in quiet and as in unmoving. “I see,” he finally lets the ground beneath him know. “My bad.”
“Oh really?? My bad my ASS! You could have fucking killed me, over NOTHING! I’d never have—” Eiji. He doesn't have time for this. He has to get to Eiji. The plane… fuck, is he still going to make it?
“Yeah. I got it. Go ahead then, get it over with.”
He stares down at him. Takes a deep breath. “Make up with Sing and we're even.”
“What the, who do you think you are YOU—”
“I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!” He pulls out his gun, still careful not to lose the letter in the process, and hits him over the head with it, hard enough to knock him out for a bit but not hard enough to do any lasting damage. Probably. Hopefully, for Sing’s sake. He just can’t take any chances. Not when he’s so close and time is slipping away from him. He darts for the knife – nope, he won’t take any chances – picks it up and runs off, heart racing and lungs burning.
Eiji. Eiji, wait for me. I'm coming, Eiji. Please, Eiji, GOD, please.
“Ash!” Eiji’s voice rings out to him as soon as he steps into the terminal. He must have spotted him the very second he reached the entrance and before Ash can say anything or stop him, he’s already out of his wheelchair, rushing, or more like, staggering, towards him. “Ash, I was so worried!” He throws himself around his neck. It’s so familiar, a memory that gathered dust but was never taken off the shelf and Ash lets himself sink into him. Home. “I had this feeling… I was—I was so sure you were in danger, I don't know why, I know they're all dead but—”
“I was.” He squeezes him, perhaps a little harder than he should considering that Eiji’s still recovering from a serious injury. From a bullet that should have been Ash’s to take. “But not anymore. I'm here, Eiji. I'm here. I got your letter. And I'm here.”
That bullet hit but it didn’t kill. That knife didn’t hit at all. He’s still here. And so is Eiji, he’s right here in his arms; Ash can smell him, feel him, prod and pinch and squeeze all he wants and he still doesn’t dissolve into some cruel mockery of hope. He remains solid. Real.
They hold each other, for a few seconds or maybe for eternity, who can say. There’s no more world, no one else, just this moment. This moment Ash thought he could only ever reach in dreams.
“You’re here,” Eiji mumbles against his neck, softly, almost like he’s talking to himself, like he still can’t believe it either.
Ash nods. He can’t speak, not yet; he can’t trust his voice not to betray him, not to shatter this stillness, lay bare the storm raging inside.
Somewhere behind them, someone is clearing his throat, a few steps away but still too close. Way too close. Because that sound has no right to be here; no one has the right to be here, not in this moment. It’s theirs, they can’t have it, they have no fucking right to intrude. He went through hell and back to get here and no matter what he does or doesn’t deserve, this moment, just this one moment with him, he will defend down to his very last shred of strength. He may not have much to stake a claim on, but he will claim this.
“I don’t mean to interrupt.” Ibe. “But the plane is leaving soon…”
“Oh. Yes. Right.” Eiji lifts his head slowly, sluggishly, only half-turning to face Ibe, as though he’s only just woken up. Maybe from the same dream Ash is having. He doesn’t let go of him, doesn’t step back. But he does pull on his sleeve a little. “We should get going, Ash. Did you—” He bites his lip. “Did you get the ticket I bought you?”
Of course. There was something he did lose after all. Small trade-off, all in all, compared to what he got to keep.
“I did. Thank you. I mean it. I lost it on my way here. But,” he adds before Eiji’s mouth can burst open the same way his eyes did, “I couldn’t have used it anyway. Yeah, Dino got all kinds of shit erased from the system but there’s no telling what lists I am still on. I can’t risk getting on a plane under that name.” He tries to smile. Tries for rueful. “I can't go with you.”
“But Ash, you—” He cuts himself off. When he speaks again, his voice is brittle, a hollow bone waiting to be broken. “You really don’t want to go with me?”
He says it quietly. Hauntingly so, like he’s already resigned himself to it, like he, Eiji, the most stubborn person in this entire fucking world is just going to accept this thing that goes against everything he wants because he thinks it’s what Ash wants. Something about it is giving Ash that strange, warm feeling that only Eiji has ever managed to give him, the one that breathes life into all those parts of him he was certain had long withered away… But at the same time, how can he possibly think that? Ash made himself pretty clear, or so he thought, and Eiji seemed to have gotten the message; he was… he was different. To me at least, tell the truth. How much of an idiot is he, seriously, if he's still willing to believe for even a second that Ash would not want to go with him?
Is he the idiot here, though, or did you just idiotically do your idiotic utmost to idiotically convince him of idiotic things for way too long before that? And after that? And during?
Shut up, self-awareness, no one likes you. I have more important things to do now.
Like fixing your mistakes?
I said SHUT UP. All that matters now is Eiji.
That, at least, is something all parts of him seem to be in agreement on.
“What I mean is I can’t go with you now. Not this way. It’d just get me arrested, and then it would take me even longer to get to you.” And he would. He would break out of a fucking prison to get back to him. “But I will.” He’s not as good at the whole reassurance thing as Eiji; he’s not as good as Eiji at anything, really, not when it comes to things that matter, but he’s giving it his very best shot and hopefully, Eiji can see that he means it. He’s good at that too, or he would be if he wasn’t still so quick to get insecure about the one thing he should never be insecure about: himself. “I'll find another way to leave the country, don't worry. I'll still come to Japan, it's just going to take me a little longer.”
“I'm not leaving without you.” Eiji shakes his head with his patented Eiji-determination. So apparently, the message came across just fine. He knows what Ash really wants now and now that he does, there’ll be no deterring him anymore. No way for Ash to hide or try to chicken out at the last second. Which is good. Because if there was a coward’s way out, he might end up taking it, ultimate coward that he is, and he’d regret it. He’d regret it more than anything else he’s ever done or refrained from doing.
Ash reaches up, cradles Eiji’s cheek in his palm. He has no idea what possessed him to do that and even less of an idea what possessed him to do that with all those people around but he can’t bring himself to care. And for some reason, they don’t seem to care either. They all look entirely unbothered, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “You can’t travel the way I’ll have to in your condition, Eiji. It’s fine. I’ll be ok.” He presses their foreheads together and again, no one reacts. I could probably kiss him right now and no one would bat an eye. Not like back in prison. The thought comes out of nowhere. A new thought, an old thought, a rare thought, an ever-present thought, all of the above, none of the above, he’s not sure. He files it away for later. All that matters now is Eiji. “I will follow you. I promise.”
He can feel Eiji’s skin move against his as Eiji shakes his head, brushing, scraping, something in between. “I won’t leave without you. Something will happen if I leave. I know it. I'll lose you. I can't lose you. I won't. I'll stay until we can leave together.”
“Eiji, I can't just take a plane, I—”
“Yut Lung.” Sing steps forward, the look on his face almost as determined as Eiji's. “He'll get you papers. He'll take care of it. I'll make him take care of it.”
“What are you,” he scoffs, “his wife?”
Even as his face reddens, Sing barely misses a beat. “Who's asking, Eiji's?”
Ash has nothing to say to that; he's too busy being on fire and the fact that Eiji is basically still half in his arms is not helping. “You”—he points an accusing finger at Sing— “need to talk to your brother.”
“…Is that supposed to be your comeback?”
“You tell me, he tried to kill me on my way here.”
“He did what??”
“He did WHAT?” Eiji goes rigid, his body coiling in on itself, his fingers digging into Ash’s arm so abruptly and so forcefully it almost makes him jump.
He gives him another tiny squeeze. “I’m fine, don’t worry, he didn’t get to me.” No need to tell him just how close a call it really was. But something must have given him away. Eiji’s fingers don’t loosen their hold on him; if anything, they dig in deeper.
“Ash—”
“Is Lao…” The hesitation in Sing's voice leaves no doubt as to what he's thinking. “Is he ok?”
“I didn't kill him.” He raises his chin, glares down at him. “You owe me for that one.” That'll teach him not to be a back-talking little shit.
“Yeah. I do,” Sing concedes, but he still raises his chin in much the same fashion because apparently, he’s unteachable. “And Yut Lung owes me. I’ll get him to take care of things. So for once in your fucking life, just wait and let someone else handle this.”
“Now listen up you little—”
“I’m with Sing.” Eiji tugs on his sleeve again.
“Seriously? You’re telling me you trust Yut Lung?”
“No. I can’t stand him and I don’t trust him at all. But I trust Sing. And,” he adds quietly, “Sing put his trust in you too, didn’t he, so if he believes in him, after everything, I think it’s worth trying. Maybe… maybe he’s not as bad as he seems.”
Those eyes. Those fucking eyes and all they see, all they know, all they give. It’s not that he’s powerless against them, not technically; he can resist them. He’s done it before, a couple of times, when it simply couldn’t be helped, when it was too important to keep him safe, but they make him just really, absolutely, completely not want to resist, ever. It’s like a crime against nature to make them look sad, and when they get that disappointed look in them… it turns his stomach into a high-speed blender, every time. “Fine. Whatever. What you wanna bet that he’ll just use some other name that’ll also get me arrested immediately,” he mutters, fully aware of how pointless it is. Eiji can tell anyway. He knows him too well; he knows he’s won and that this is just grousing for the principle of it. Well. So much for that. Maybe he’ll at least manage to fool the others.
“He won’t,” Sing says like he really is convinced of it. “He won’t betray us. Not again. He…” For the first time, he falters a little. “He knows he fucked up. And I think he’s sorry too. He can’t admit it yet, but I think he really is.”
“You should be familiar with that feeling, eh?” For some reason, Max seems to have decided he’s part of this conversation now too.
“Shouldn’t the elderly be in bed by now? Why are you still here?”
“Ah, he really is incurable, isn’t he? I thought I raised him better than that.” Max shakes his head at Ibe with a gravitas that is as fake as it is incongruous. “My condolences, Eiji, you’ve got your work cut out for you there. You sure you don’t want to get on that plane and get out while you still can?”
Eiji wraps his hand around his, interlacing their fingers for everyone to see. “I will not leave him. We fly together or I won’t fly at all.”
“No point arguing with Ei-chan either. Stubborn as a mule, the both of them,” Ibe mutters into his beard and in Max’s general direction. “There goes yet another pair of tickets.”
Probably best not to remind him that it’s actually three this time, as hard as it is to resist.
“It's fine, Ibe-san, you can leave without me. I’ve kept you here long enough. It's over now, remember? You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’ll be safe with Ash.”
“Absolutely not. Your parents will kill me if I come back without you.”
“Tell them I'll follow soon and I'll be bringing someone with me.”
Twelve seconds. That’s how long Ibe’s valiant attempt at staring Eiji down lasts before he shrugs his shoulders with a sigh. “Fine. But I’ll leave the details up to you.” Apparently, Ash is not the only one who has a hard time not caving to that smile. “I guess you have a point, your wife will be keeping you safe. Right, Ash?”
“Yeah,” Ash croaks. “I—You go ahead without us. I’ll… I’ll bring him back home.” Like I should have done months ago. I should have just run away with him right at the start, shouldn’t I?
“And I’ll make sure he does.” Sing nods at Ibe with way too much earnestness to even fit in that tiny baby body of his. Does he even know who Ibe is? Have they met before? “I’ll go to Yut Lung right away and then contact you as soon as— Where are you gonna be staying? I can hook you up with something in Chinatown if you want to lay low.”
“Waiting for Yut Lung’s help on Yut Lung’s turf. Sounds perfect. Should I give him access to my bank accounts too while I’m at it?”
“You’re impossible! I—”
“How about I just get a hotel room in my name and you two use that until you can fly out? Eiji shouldn’t be hunkering down in some filthy hideout in his condition,” Jessica cuts in in a tone that manages to shut up even Sing. Ash is almost impressed. Almost. “Even if there is anyone who’s still looking for you, they shouldn’t be aware of my involvement. And no one would be surprised that I need a break from that one.” She points at Max, who crosses his arms.
“And here I was thinking that had changed.”
“Sure,” she shrugs, “but they don’t know that. The wedding’s still months away. Unless you don’t trust me with your location either?” She turns to Ash and there’s no reproach in her voice; she sounds like she couldn’t care less either way.
“It’s fine. I guess if anyone’s got enough balls to count as a spine here, it’s you.” He clears his throat. “And you’re right. Eiji needs a proper place to stay. He shouldn’t be up this much.” He gives a glance to the side, more specifically at Eiji, who’s still pressed up against him and doing his best to hide the fact that he’s swaying a little.
Eiji raises his chin at him. “I’ll sit down as soon as I know you’re really safe and won’t run off to do something brave and stupid. Not a minute sooner.”
“Eiji, I am safe, and I won’t—”
“How can you say that when I almost lost you today? When Lao might have…”
He doesn’t finish, staring at him like he’s about to cry, or throw up, or both, and Ash would be lying if he claimed the memory of that blur, that knife that got way too close for comfort wasn’t still coiled under the surface ready to strike for him too. The glint of that blade, that half-second between him and what might have been the end, it keeps flashing up, a wave of dizziness in its wake every time it does. But there’s no time for that now, not when Eiji’s wound might open, when someone might see them, when, when…
“I get it,” he says quietly, “I do but—”
“I don’t think you do.” Eiji shakes his head. “You—”
“I watched you get shot, remember? I thought—for a moment there, no, for fucking HOURS I thought you wouldn’t make it so don’t tell me I don’t get it! If anyone does, it’s me!” He realises too late how loud his voice has gotten. How harsh. It shouldn’t sound like that, not with him, not with Eiji, he doesn’t deserve any of it, he only deserves good things, always. He deserves so much better than him. But for some reason, some strange, all logic-defying mystery, it seems to be him that he wants. Probably. Possibly. Hopefully. Except he shouldn’t be hoping for it. A better person would hope for Eiji’s happiness to lie somewhere else and he did try; he tried so hard for so long but it’s no use. All the trying in the world can’t change the fact that what he’s truly hoping for is something entirely different. Something that makes the hard shell of his voice crack even here, in front of all these people, just by looking at him. “We’ll talk about it, ok? I promise. We’ll talk and—and cry and—” He moves through the words in a mumbled rush. “And hold each other through it and I’ll be there for you too for once, I promise, Eiji, I won’t pretend it didn’t happen, I mean it, I promise we can talk about everything tonight but we have to get you to safety first, ok?”
“Us.”
“Huh?”
“We have to get us to safety first. You too.”
“Yeah.” That smile is almost definitely making him look like a complete idiot but he couldn’t fight it off even if he tried. “Us. So,” he adds, as casually as he can manage, and he really doesn’t need to be told just how not actually casual that is, “are you going to sit your ass down now?”
“As soon as we’re out of here.” Eiji smiles, angelic, serene, and stubborn as the deepest pits of hell.
“It might be better if he’s walking anyway,” Kong pipes up from somewhere behind him. “Easier to blend in that way.”
“Yeah, he could just stroll out of here with the white-picket-fencers”—Bones points at Max and Jessica—“and Alex can get the wheelchair back to him outside. And you can leave with us. Bodyguards and all.” He grins at Eiji.
“Before you do that…” Jenkins steps forward, having apparently decided now’s the time to butt in and what are these two even doing here; does Eiji really have to befriend everyone, for fuck's sake? But then of course he does. He looked at the whole giant disaster that is Ash and still decided to stick around, for some reason, figures that he'd also manage to find something to like in a cop. “We’d like to ask you a couple of questions about Club Cod.” He holds up a hand as Ash makes to speak. “Strictly as a victim, because that’s what you are in this case. No one’s accusing you of anything, and we don’t want to make things harder for you, but we could really use your help. And not just us, there are a lot of other victims involved here. Whatever information you can give us is going to help them too.”
“Are you seriously suggesting I set foot inside a police station?”
“No, we can do it here.” Jenkins gestures at the stands and tables at the back of the hall. “It’s not like we can use it in court anyway, can we? No official records, this is just to help us with the investigation.”
“Are you saying you're letting me walk away?”
“I am saying no such thing. What I might be implying,” he adds quietly, “is another matter.”
Ash turns to look at Charlie. “What about you?”
“I think Eiji must have damaged not only my hearing but also my head when he yelled at me to let someone I couldn't quite make out go the other day. For a moment there I thought I'd seen a dead man here but clearly, I was mistaken.”
He nods. His face is blank and it takes everything he has to keep it that way. Later. He can cry later. He promised he would, didn’t he?
“I'm counting on you to get him out of here, Eiji. Make sure we don't regret this.”
“Regret what, I thought everything was implied?” Eiji cocks his head, the very picture of innocence.
Jenkins huffs, muttering something under his breath that Ash can’t quite make out, something like lung dove or whatever, not important, no need to think about it too hard. “But I do ask that you sit down with us here, somewhere a little more private. You can give us leads to follow up on that will ensure we won't need to mention your name in court.”
It’s just about the last thing he wants to do, right up there with getting up at 7 a.m. and having tea with a miraculously resurrected Dino but unfuckingfortunately, it’s not something he can say no to either. He couldn’t even if it weren’t about the giant favour they are apparently about to do him.
“Yeah. Ok.”
“Good.” Jenkins nods. “You wait here then, Eiji.”
Again, Eiji’s hold on him tightens instantly. “I’m not leaving his side.”
His eyes are blazing with something more than defiance, something much closer to panic and Charlie seems to have picked up on it too. As he takes a step closer and puts a hand on Eiji’s shoulder, trying to steer him away, his voice is gentle, kept low enough so only he and Ash can hear.
“This is official business, Eiji. But you can trust us to keep him safe.”
“You said you can't ‘officially’ use it yourself so that's bullshit.” Eiji glares at Charlie, refusing to let go. His voice falters a little, as though it has just as much trouble staying on its feet as he does. “Don’t—don’t take him out of my sight, please, I need to… I need to know he’s—”
“He can stay.” Ash regrets the words the second they leave his mouth, and he also doesn't regret them at all. They mean Eiji will hear; he will hear everything. He already knows more than anyone else ever did, more than Ash ever would have let anyone else know, more than he will let these two know but he did always try to spare him the filthiest details. The things he really is to blame for, that part of him that he never wanted even him to see. Or maybe especially not him. But if they, now, if they— It's only right that he gets to hear all of it first. No, he has to hear all of it first. Before he commits himself to anything, he has to hear the details. The details of not the victim but the slut. “He can hear everything I have to say. I keep no secrets from him. Not anymore,” he adds, already turning to Kong, Bones, and Alex. “I’m leaving it to you to find the best way to get us out of here and make sure no one follows us.”
“Of course, boss.”
“Not for much longer.” He nods at Alex. “But I’ll sleep easier knowing I’m leaving them in capable hands.”
When they make their way back to the others, Ash has to prop Eiji up to help him keep his balance. He’s really trembling now, despite having just gotten to sit for what must have been almost two hours and Ash is silently cursing himself for putting him through all this when he should be in a comfortable seat on a plane right now, or better yet, resting in a bed.
“I’m so glad they’re letting you go.”
That’s all he says. He doesn’t comment on any of the things Ash told them just like he didn’t comment while Ash was saying them. All he did at some point was take his hand into his and keep it there, sometimes squeezing it, sometimes just holding it, sometimes rubbing circles into it with his thumb. Never once letting go. Never once forcing him to look him in the eye. He just listened. And he stayed. He’s still here. Still by his side.
“Yeah. Let’s hope they keep up their end.”
“You don't trust them?”
“They're cops, Eiji.” He sighs. “I’ll admit those two are ok, by cop standards, but that's not a high bar to clear. I… I don't think they were lying, so long as I’m out of the country they probably just couldn’t care either way, but that doesn't mean they might not fold when push comes to shove. I hate to break it to you but backbones are pretty rare in that profession.”
“Well. I'd say give them a chance to prove you wrong but it’s not like they’ll even get one.” Eiji’s smile is a little wobbly with the exertion but still made of pure fucking sunlight. “We’ll get you out of here as soon as possible anyway. And until then, I'm not going to let anyone lay a finger on you.”