Chapter Text
JUNE
“Agent Todd is back!” Ms. O yells. I gasp, and drop my box of marbles. “You better tell the rest of the squad too.” She says.
I nod and spin around on my heel. “Agent Todd is back!!” I yell out the door of Ms. O’s office. There is an immediate chorus of crashes as every agent who remembers Todd drops whatever they’re holding. I think someone drops a piano.
“I have a question?” Otto says, but Ms. O cuts him off.
“No time! Oscar, I need a list of all available gadgets!”
“Yes, ma’am,” I salute.
“And you two, check in Todd’s file for anything that could help us!” Ms. O continues. “I’ll call the other O’s.”
“Yes ma’am.” Olive says, and strides out of the office, Otto and me on her heels.
~
I'm in my office, listing every gadget there is to list, but I can’t help thinking. I remember the first day I met Todd. Coincidentally, it was the same day I met Olive. They went through training together. They were in HQ for a tour, when Olive, man did she look different, almost bumped into me.
“Watch out recruit.” I said, and man did I look different too. That haircut… “pienado, coming through!”
And then I heard I voice I’d never forget for the rest of my days. A voice I’d grow to admire, to love, to hate, to fear.
“Pienado?” Todd’s voice.
How I wish I could’ve stopped Obfusco from explaining. But I didn’t. And so Todd knew about the pienado. A fatal mistake.
Over the following months, Todd became the best agent odd squad had ever seen. He would solve cases faster than Ms. O. He was the STAR agent. And as much as I hate to admit it, we were close back then. He was really handy, always building things or fixing things. We became friends. And then, I had realised I had a crush on him. Yeah. I had had a crush on a villain. But in my defence he wasn’t a villain back then!! He was just really, really good at his job. He won every odd squad award there was. Even the award for most awards.
But he started getting bored. Solving cases wasn’t enough for him. His gadgets became more and more outlandish. But still even then, no one saw the truth. We just thought he was being stupid, having a good time. Woe to us who never saw the truth until it was too late. Maybe we could have stopped him.
But we didn’t. Not until the damage had already been done.
The day things really started getting out of hand, Olive came and told me. But I guess I didn’t see. I guess I was too blinded by my feelings to see the reality of our situation.
Until the day. The day he fucked up a case.
On purpose.
Because Todd never made a mistake. And then he did. ‘Six sixth street.’ He had said. No one had questioned him. Because Todd never made mistakes. And then, he did. ‘Everyone makes mistakes.’ He had said. But not Todd. And when Ms. O confronted him, said he knew the truth but he lied, he said the worst thing he could.
‘That’s right.’ He had said. ‘Because that, is interesting. Instead of turning the world all boring, which is what odd squad always does-‘
‘The odd squad rule is ‘Do. No. Odd.’ Your badge agent Todd.’ Ms. O had interrupted. He gave it to her, and then came to see me, all fake tears and concern.
‘I’m sorry Oscar, I guess I’m leaving. Ms. O kicked me out.’ He had said. I had cried to see my friend be sent away like that. To see that he had broken the rule. The one rule. Do no odd. And he had. He left, and we never spoke again.
But I had had to cope, and cope I did. Because I still didn’t get it, even then. I poured my soul into new gadgets, and created the triangulator. That gadget had saved our lives. Because the day I showed it to Olive, ‘what can’t you do with it!’ I said, an alarm went off. A warning sounded.
“Code three-point-one-four-one-five-nine-two-six-five-three-five-eight-nine-seven-nine-three-two-three."
The pienado had been released. I didn’t know how though. The only way to release it was with my nose.
And then ‘Oscar! I’ve got your nose!’ And the laugh. That laugh, which I’ll never forget. Todd was back. He’d released the pienado.
Pies were splatting everywhere, hitting agents right and left. I saw Dr. O go down, pie covering her chest. Agent Oran took a headshot and fell backwards into the sandpit. Ms. O took two shots to the side of the face and chest and collapsed in a heap. We were losing. We were dying. In that singular moment, I got it. Todd was a villain. And in that split second, I hated him. He was making the world more odd. On purpose.
I watched as Todd walked away. Olive was our only hope. I saw the purpose in her eyes as she turned from a flighty, shy agent, into a determined, confident agent with revenge in her heart. She had to stop Todd. I watched as she found the answer. I saw her pull the triangulator out and fire triangles into the mouth of the pienado. She was doing it! But the last triangle was causing her grief. She couldn’t get a clear shot.
‘I’ll cover you!’ I had yelled. I had to fix my mistake, my blindness to Todd’s oddness. ‘It’s the only way!’ I had walked straight into the line of fire, covering Olive until I fell, covered in pie, having taken as many shots as I could physically handle. I saw her take the final shot. And silence fell. The wounded lay around us in broken heaps, covered in pie.
Ms. O wasn’t moving and for a moment I thought we might have lost her. We almost lost a few good agents that day. Agent O’ryan, shot in the leg with an infected pie. Agent Orca took a pie to the back of the head. Agent oak took three pies to the heart before he fell. But Odd Todd was gone.
~
‘And now he’s back.’ I think as I shake myself out of my reminiscence. I just have one question. How are we supposed to beat the best agent there ever was?