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Her agonizing, guttural battle screams reverberated through one abandoned town on the brink of destruction. Its occupants fled beforehand without assurance of any safer place to go. Time was a commodity when half of the world was either crushed or crumbling down.
Sometimes, it was easier to face death than run away from it.
When the marching hordes of titans permeated the area, a handful of soldiers gaped in shock as they watched one person soar into the air recklessly like a one-man army. She confidently maneuvered her way through aimless, approaching collosals—skillfully dodging their massive bodies and hacking through their flesh to put them down. This risky suicide mission was a nagging reminder that the world is in its hopeless case—a world that bred a monster and summoned chaos in its wake.
Hange Zoe is just one who foolishly embraced her final moments—sacrificing her wings for her comrades to fly...
…and save a little of what’s left in this scarred world.
“And cut! We got it! That’s a wrap, guys! Impressive as always, Zoe!”
A huge cheer erupted from the production team in a burst of applause and whistles.
Everyone was tossed in a celebratory mood. Everyone but Levi Ackerman.
His grey eyes switched from the terminal of viewer panels to the massive green backdrop covering the entirety of the studio to shoot a “very epic” scene that they'd been endlessly preparing for days.
As it turned out, it was Hange Zoe's last shoot. And Levi was only notified on short notice.
He watched Hange as she gracefully landed on the safety mat, the stunt and props crew came rushing in to disentangle her from the cables attached to her body. She gave everyone a wink and a thumbs-up, inciting loads of laughter when she goofily re-enacted her last scene—dropping dead and spread-eagle over the mat. Lately, the production team showed her the playback of her death scene behind the camera.
“Ahhhhh! That was amazing! You guys be ready, though! My barbecued self would be crushing hearts at its airing!” Hange gushed, stretching her arms over her head. “Ah, finally I could catch a break after this! Time for my other priorities!”
Levi clicked his tongue. He was less than thrilled, standing a few feet away, and couldn’t refrain from watching her yap about her acting retirement. When Armin, Jean, and Mikasa came over to hug her in tears, Levi tore his eyes away from the drama he would never get used to, only to switch on one monitor where the editor on duty was cutting the frames in motion. The cinematography was always flawless, capturing Hange's last tragic moments from different angles. The special effects and her battle cry made it beyond chilling. That damned fire she caught while fighting looked insanely real.
“Ah shit, I'm gonna miss her,” the editor mumbled to no one in particular. “Too bad she's gone too soon.”
“Could’ve made the plot even better if she’s allowed to live until the finale, though,” Levi said snarkily. “Another idiot bit the dust—oh, wrong—turned into dust.”
The editor whipped his head back and chuckled at the unwarranted remark. “Oh! Hey Levi, you got some other cool ideas?”
“As if you’d consider them,” Levi said sarcastically. “There are many ways to live than dumb ways to die. What the hell is the female titan doing? She could’ve assisted Hange one last time and not sulked in drama. Geez, she’s a fucking soldier who destroyed my squad and now’s the best time to make up for it. She could’ve taken down more of them without worrying about counterattacks because they’re just a bunch of mindless titans who are merely summoned to walk and destroy everything on their paths.”
The editor gawked at him in amusement. Levi was obviously rambling, getting a bit carried away at his imagined scenarios that wouldn’t make the cut to the big screen.
“Or you could’ve just stopped her,” the editor said plainly. “Knock her out, tuck her away somewhere safe.”
Good point.
“Hm. But then, they choose the shittiest way for her to go. Heroic yet stupid. Just like the earlier days when everyone dies,” Levi continued with acridity. “And it’s consistent. People already expected remorse, not happy endings. Hange’s developed into a very essential character. But then again, expect some flak to the creator after her death. That serves him right. If making pointless deaths gives him pleasure, then, let the fans make him realize something.”
“Realize what?”
“Realize that he’s aggravating people’s depression,” Levi drawled. “God, he’s making a fool out of everyone.”
“Huh?” the editor cocked his head. “Are we still talking about Hange’s death here?”
Levi didn’t respond. His narrow eyes gazed back to Hange, who was already swarmed by her other bawling co-stars. She instantly disappeared in his line of vision when Reiner buried her in his arms.
“Whatever. It’s a sad day for the alliance and the fans,” the editor said. “And more money for the creator! That’s what the entertainment industry is all about, right?”
“If you think deaths are entertaining, I don’t know what to fucking make of you,” Levi cussed and turned around, heading back to the dressing room where he should settle a knotting feeling in his guts.
The cramped, makeshift room he shared with Hange was not the best place to stay during a break. He should be rehearsing his lines with the rest of the cast after the sequence of Hange's death, but he was not in his best mood to get in character and act away. He was engulfed by devastation for a reason he kept denying in his head. And fuck, it is getting worse by the minute. For sure, the whole cast and crew of this “stupid TV series”—as he called it—were now saying their goodbyes to Hange, the newest casualty who would surely throw fans into a fit of frenzy upon its airing.
Two foldable chairs bearing their names sat beside each other to mock the hell out of him. By their next shoot, Hange's chair would be replaced by someone else—most probably by Eren or Jean. They are in the last weeks of shooting the final fight scenes to conclude the story. Fucking finally. But the mere thought of bidding goodbye to their filming activities created a gaping hole in his chest. He accepted the fact that, eventually, he would part from his co-actors-turned-friends. However, he never expected to separate from Hange too soon.
“That idiot didn't even tell me it's her final scene!” He grumbled loudly, grabbing his duffel bag from a closet as he began packing his clothes.
The steel door behind him swung open as Zeke Jaeger burst in with a huge bouquet of sunflowers in his hand. He greeted the only man in the room gleefully, expecting a fist bump or something, but instead, earned a piercing scowl from him.
Well, that was new.
“It's not my funeral yet,” Levi spat. “And what brought your ass in the set? Have you forgotten you’re not scheduled for filming today?”
Zeke scoffed. On or off cam, they certainly loved annoying each other. “Who said these flowers are for you? I was invited by Hange herself for some drinks tonight. Of course, I should be here.”
Levi was not stupid to think the flowers were for someone he didn't know. However, he didn't want to bring up the very topic that ruined his day. He went back to packing his clothes grumpily.
“Can't wait to die in your hands, Levi!” Zeke quipped. “Ah, I’ve practiced that part over and over again.”
“So waving your arms at me so I could swing a blade across your neck needs practice? Don’t get too immersed on that part because I might run the blade for real and you’d give the crew a hard time putting your head back.”
Zeke laughed out loud. “Relax! Why do you sound like you wanted to kill me?”
“To make it look realistic and convincing,” Levi said nonchalantly.
Zeke raised an arm in surrender. “Okay, don’t piss me when you’re pissed. I could read you, Levi. What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. Fuck off.”
Zeke curled his lip. “Come on! Drinks on me on the weekend. But first things first, care to know where my Hange is?”
“When did she even sign up to be your property?”
“She's not yours either.”
A low growl escaped Levi. “Like I claimed to be.”
“Oh yeah?” Zeke challenged. “Okay. I guess that made it clear I wouldn't have to worry about a rival for her attention.”
“What?”
Zeke grinned annoyingly, a perfect way to snap Levi's nerves. “She’s single.”
“And disgusting. And because she’s disgusting, she’s gonna stay single for life.”
“That’s harsh. Don’t let her hear you.” Zeke chuckled. “Hey, you’re the only person who sees her that way. Hange was all kinds of amazing in a unique way. She could be a good partner.”
“Good luck. Suffer in your prime if you dare.” Levi returned to tidying his table, organizing his personal effects neatly on one side. For a moment, he gave Hange’s table a once-over, scrunching his face at its disastrous state. But then, he took the liberty to clean up her mess as well, knowing too well what to keep and throw away.
Zeke noticed him. “Ah, no wonder she had a thing for clean freaks.”
“Pardon?”
“Nothing.” Zeke rolled his eyes. “Ah, you know, I truly admire her for choosing to pursue her graduate studies. After all, our life’s plans got stalled just to give way to this series.”
Levi straightened up and stopped what he was doing. “What the hell about graduate studies?”
“Hange didn’t tell you?” Zeke gave him an unimpressed look. “It was by her request to end her character so she could finally get a slot for her doctorate studies at the university. She’s the smartest among us, and on top of that, a very dedicated actress, but we do know her passion is all about being a scientist and a professor.”
“I guess her role as the crazy scientist finally manifested,” Levi noted. “That’s what you get from portraying a genius. But shit, she never told me anything about that.”
Zeke laughed. “She wanted to die so bad. The enrollment shall end soon, so she gotta hurry. Well, her exit was a blast. At least the production team did their best to make the most epic ending for her. But then again, this is one of the saddest exits.”
Levi brushed his hands as he finished his work. He sulkily said, “We’ve reached the story's conclusion anyway. At one point, we’ll all go separate ways.”
“Hm. That’s life. Of course, I’ll keep in touch. If you want me so bad…” Zeke joked palpably.
“Fuck yourself.”
“But Levi, do you have plans after this?”
“Plans?”
“Like telling Hange how crazy you are for her and your devastation is worse than all the cast's deaths combined?”
Levi sported a mortified look on his face—giving away the signs Zeke didn’t need to figure out. When the blond cracked a smile—cheeks barely containing his explosive laughter—Levi was already holding a shoe in his hand with the perfect aim.
And that’s when Zeke Jaeger would need a heavy-duty concealer to hide a bruise in their next shoot.
“Cut! Ackerman, that’s just a few lines to say! Why couldn’t you get it right?!”
Yes. A few lines. Stupid lines. There are already ten takes, and Levi couldn’t perform his script like he used to. He held his blade tightly when all eyes are on him, in a look that one of them would willingly take his place to say his lines. Mikasa was beside him as he slid down the makeshift bird titan, stomping his way to the director.
“What the hell’s the matter with you? We don’t have all day. The sun’s going down, and you couldn’t get the scene right. Don’t waste our time!” the director barked.
“Haven’t slept, haven’t eaten, and I got the worst headache. I’m not that ridiculous humanity’s strongest like you idiots thought I am!” Levi retaliated.
“What did you say?!”
Mikasa was already behind Levi when she held him by the arm and dragged him aside. She gave the director an apologetic look. “I’d take care of it. He’s right though, he’s a bit overworked. He’s been awake for 48 hours. He needs some break.”
The director sighed. “It doesn’t hurt to say what’s wrong and demand some rest. It also doesn’t hurt not to lash out.”
Levi clicked his tongue, about to retort once more, but Mikasa tightened her grip on him.
“Fine! Get some sleep, Levi. Be thankful you had the biggest number of fans, or else…”
“You could always replace me,” Levi said. "Or kill me after Hange."
“Hey,” Mikasa shushed him. “What’s wrong with you? You shouldn’t say that!”
“He’s being an ass—“
“Shut up.”
“Oh… fine!” The director waved a hand. “Get your cousin out of here if you can manage, Mika. Make sure he’s well-fed because I don’t want to be his meal.”
“Great. As if I’d consume anything with poison,” Levi said sarcastically.
Everyone quieted, and Mikasa had enough. She dragged Levi out of the scene and confronted him in one corner. “The hell was that? You seem spaced out and quiet for the past few hours, and now you’re practically like wanting to bite everybody’s head off.”
Levi scoffed. “I’m just fucking tired.”
“Tired? With all that nerve and energy to piss everyone off? Catch some sleep. Maybe I could request to shoot my scenes with Eren to replace our part. I’d tell them you got a zombie virus or something.”
“Why? You want to be my first victim?”
“Or do you want me to tell them that you’re out of focus because Hange died, and she’s not gonna be around for our next filming days? And then you’re gonna lock yourself up in your apartment to grieve and starve over her death?” Mikasa challenged him. “Or tell them yourself how heartbroken you are because the sunshine of your life flew in the direction of the sun and burned herself down?”
“What the fuck are you…” Levi’s eyes widened at her audacity.
“Cut the drama, Levi. Because damn, it’s written all over your face. And Zeke’s big bruise on his right eye couldn’t lie either. Hey, I know how it feels like when someone’s leaving. You’re feeling empty, right? I’m just glad Eren’s with me until the last scenes. And then we’d go to college together after this. But then, Hange’s leaving for her Ph.D. miles and miles away from us,” Mikasa mocked him. “What are you gonna do about it? Do you even have plans for yourself?”
Levi grew quiet. Perhaps he has not thought about his plans just yet. What's with all these people obsessing over their futures?
“Oh well, we’re having a one-week vacation starting tomorrow until our next shoot. Would you like to come with Eren, Armin, Annie, and me to camp somewhere during the break? Just to catch some fresh air.”
“What? And make me do all of that camping shit you kids never tried once in your life? I’m not babysitting you, brats.”
“Hey, you think we’re incapable of doing outdoor activities?” Mikasa asked incredulously.
“I always clean up after your mess, mind you.”
“Because you always do it before I can clean them up myself. I never ask, Levi. You just can’t stand the mess. I promise you won’t have to lift a finger or do anything. I want you to relax! So, wanna come?”
“I’d rather stay at home,” Levi groused.
“Yeah, I knew it. Or maybe because you’d want me to invite someone you can share the tent with,” Mikasa taunted. “I’d invite her if you want.”
“No, you wouldn’t!”
“I didn’t say a name yet,” Mikasa stuck out her tongue and turned around, scooting her way back to the filming area. “Gotcha!”
“You brat!” Levi huffed.
“These scars are fucking ugly. How my fans doubled up in number because of these is beyond me.” Levi was back in his dressing room, gingerly scratching off the latex scars littering his face. The fake scars had stayed on for three days and were now irritating his skin. He leaned closer to the mirror and inspected some red marks, probably from an allergic reaction.
He hissed. Peeling off the scar had gotten a little tingly.
“You’re doing it the wrong way, boo,” someone spoke from behind, grabbing his shoulders to turn him around.
Stunned as hell, he was now face to face with Hange Zoe—a brand new person fresh from the depths of hell.
“Fucking four-eyes,” Levi deadpanned. “Good grief. I thought the vultures are already snacking on your crispy, burned meat.”
Hange grinned widely. “The vultures are smart enough not to consume me when I’m clearly designed for you!”
Levi choked on his spit.
Hange waved it off with a blush. That took it a little far. “Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”
“Like I have anywhere else to go…”
“Levi, you’re acting a little grumpier than the usual grump that you are. Come on, join us for a few drinks. Might cool your head. It’s my last day!”
She looked ecstatic. Levi had stared long enough to notice she was not even bothered by her character’s exit. They have been shooting the series together for years, and was it just easy for her to make it look like she's going to the toilet to take a shit? Not to mention she didn’t tell him she would “die” today.
“You’re staring. I’d like to hear from you that I looked pretty out of my Survey Corps costume,” Hange blurted out.
And that was another thing: the changes he was not used to seeing. Neat clothes, polished hair, clear glasses, and a pair of wide, bright eyes. Everything about her looked radiantly normal. And only then he realized, she would soon be packing up her bags, without leaving anything behind.
“Says who?” Levi lied, tearing his gaze away. Although he really couldn’t resist looking into her eyes without the patch.
Hange leaned closer to him and brushed his bangs away from his face. Levi swatted her hand away.
“Oi, back off!”
“Come on, I’m gonna help you peel that off, grump!” Hange said, clapping her hands onto his shoulders and pushing him down on a seat. She dragged her chair across from him and sat down so she could look closely at his face.
Levi froze. Her fingers delicately traced the scar line from his forehead down to his lips, making his breath hitch.
“Hm, you didn’t remove it for days, right?”
Levi avoided her eyes. “We’re doing scenes for three days straight. I don’t want them doing my makeup over and over again.”
Hange smiled and poked at the scar. “They’d get pretty itchy after a while. I can spot inflamed skin under the latex. You should opt for wax next time.”
She reached for her drawer to get something out. A bottle of liquid and cotton balls.
“The hell was that?” Levi asked curiously.
“Isopropyl Myristate. This should painlessly remove the latex,” Hange explained, holding Levi by the chin and turning his face from side to side.
He stiffened uncomfortably.
“Relax!” Hange chirped. She poured the liquid over the cotton and lightly dabbed it over the scars. “Latex can get pretty hard to remove. Let me know if it stings. I don’t want to hurt you.”
You already did, Levi repressed to say it out loud. Leaving us just like that? That hurts, idiot.
“You really have a ridiculously baby-smooth face. What’s your secret?” Hange asked, leaning further as her fingers stroked his skin.
She was close. Too close that Levi could feel her minty breath on his face. She was looking straight into his eyes through her glasses with a childlike wonder.
“Genetics,” Levi said. "And tea."
“Oh. Someone won the gene lottery. And I hope milk teas count,” Hange said. Her eyes squinted as she began to pick at the small scars on the left side of his cheek. “Ugh, the latex irritated your skin just as I thought. Does it hurt?”
Levi shook his head.
Hange caressed the pock marks using her thumb as Levi almost leaned to her touch. “Don’t let makeup sit on your skin for days, Levi. What’s the use of being hygienic?”
“I just hate sitting through makeup every time we shoot a scene,” Levi complained. “Don’t want to waste time.”
“And earlier? What was that?” Hange asked mockingly. “I was watching you. I stayed behind to watch you guys behind the camera. You've wasted enough time by not getting your lines right. You’re not at your best shot, just my one cent.”
“Good observation,” Levi drawled.
“Mikasa said you’re tired.”
“She’s right.”
“But aren’t we all?” Hange retorted. “My muscles are revolting like crazy from all those stunts, but at least I managed not to waken the beast in me to scare everybody off. But you! You’re pulling off quite an attitude today.”
“Did they send you here to berate me?”
Hange sighed. “No. And I’m sure nobody would want to talk to you after that.”
Levi chewed his lip. “Good riddance.”
“Is there something wrong?”
Levi looked at Hange as if his face could give her an obvious answer. But he could only exhale in frustration when he was met with oblivious eyes. “Why are you still here anyway? Your scenes are done. You’re dead. Should you be going back home to the city?”
Hange’s eyes blinked rapidly. Hurt or surprised, Levi couldn’t possibly tell. She leaned back on her chair and twiddled her thumbs. “You’re the only person who said that to me.”
Levi scoffed. “You won’t expect me to cry like those brats did. As if you really died.”
Hange frowned. “You sure had a way with words.”
Levi winced. Maybe he should stop himself from bitterness because his rudeness comes off without warning. “I didn’t know you’d be dying in that scene,” he intoned.
“Levi, everyone already knew. And deaths aren’t new in the story. You just loved hanging around in your own little world so you feel you aren’t informed,” Hange said. “Did it upset you?”
“Like hell it did.”
“Hm, the editor said otherwise. I gather you had better ideas?”
Levi cursed under his breath. He should strangle someone later. “I had better ideas not to make it a senseless death on your part. Your character was too amazing to die just like that.”
A pink flush tinged Hange’s cheek. “What did you say? I'm…”
“Don’t get it through your head. You’re just playing a fictionalized role,” Levi said matter-of-factly. “It’s your character that's amazing.”
Hange’s heart sank. “Oh…yeah. Right.”
Silence crept up between them.
“But…” Levi broke the silence afterwards. “Your death doesn't sit well with me. There's Connie and Jean. There's Reiner and Pieck.”
"What?"
"Why does it have to be you?!" Levi said with added intensity. "Captain Levi wouldn't be the same without his other half."
The brightness on Hange’s face grew back as Levi said those words.
“Are you just saying that as a parting tribute?” Hange asked. “Because wow, you’re making me blush.”
Levi kissed his teeth and tried hard to hide the heat on his face. “Stupid, you looked blushing from constipation.”
Hange laughed and grabbed him by the shoulders again. “Come on, let’s finish peeling off your badass scars before it gets awkward for us.”
Levi relaxed his shoulders. He didn’t want awkward moments with her either. “You’re the one who’s taking compliments awkwardly.”
“So, you really do mean it as a compliment?” Hange assumed happily, dabbing the soaked cotton over the shorter scar on his right cheek. “Are you aware of your effect on people when you flatter them?”
Levi rolled his eyes. “That’d scare them.”
Hange cracked up. She began to peel off the scar carefully. “But I didn’t feel the need to run. Or should I? Levi, people like you—stoic and scary—who’d rather die than throw a compliment could make someone’s day using simple words.”
Because it’s YOU, stupid. For sure, getting compliments could make anyone dumb. Hange’s no exception.
However, it’s best not to prod deeper into that matter.
“Oi, what is it with you to end your role because you’re pursuing your graduate studies?” Levi finally opened the topic he didn’t want to discuss. Perhaps being alone with Hange begged the perfect timing to know her future plans—and if that included him. Well, that’s one deluded thought.
“Yup! Can’t set it aside for another time. Slots are getting filled.” Hange shrugged, her fingers were now on the longest scar. She started on his forehead, down to the eye, and his cheek. “If I delayed that off, that’d take me another three years. I’d probably be looking for other things to busy myself with during that gap period. I’d be older by then, losing the drive and momentum to study again. And then, I’d probably run into something again and the cycle of setbacks would cause me to lose my dreams. And that's why my 'death' is necessary. It couldn't be Connie or Jean. Not Pieck or Reiner either.”
“So… that dream is not really about shagging a role and becoming a star?”
“Levi, we’re not real actors who organically grew up in the filming industry. This is a one-time acting stint for me. All the money I earned from this series would finally make me finish my doctoral degree,” Hange reminded him. “It’s a great thing we are earning—more than what we have worked hard for—but then again, we have different interests and life goals. And they will always knock into our plans at one point.”
Actors by accident. Actors by needs. Or at least, that was Hange’s plan all along since accepting to play the role of a scientist/squad leader, turning into a full-time commander and eventually, a hero who decided her fate. Levi remembered the day when he was approached by a stranger who introduced himself as a scouting agent because he looked fit for a role of a “short-but-terrible soldier”. He could have punched the agent’s face right on the spot, but he didn’t. Thank god he was broke and was close to living on the streets due to overdue rent. His desperation to make money made him do the craziest things—acting included. When he earned a lot of fans, his popularity was off the charts, making him more money than he expected.
“But you know, I wouldn’t deny that being a one-time actress made a huge difference in my life,” Hange said, stopping at the part where the latex got stuck on his lips. She looked into his eyes briefly and then, back to his lips.
“And how?” Levi murmured, noticing her eyes flicking back and forth as if the latex on his lips made her uncomfortable.
“Like… we played by our real names in the series. We’re also playing close to our real characters—as if we’re just being our real selves in another universe. Maybe that’s also the reason why the unique casting made the series a hit,” Hange explained. “Each one of us has a unique trait, and that alone was fascinating to watch. Each one of us represents a person, making our characters relatable. But then, what I also realized is the working relationship I had with each and every one of you. Specifically you. You’re a difficult person on and off screen, but I don't know why we bonded so well.”
Levi scoffed. “Maybe I just have a high tolerance for smartass, bitch-crazy, reckless, loud, filthy people.”
“Haha!” Hange laughed. “You know me too well, huh?”
“Your crazy antics grew with me through the years. It’s not a question why I could list off your adjectives in one breath,” Levi said. “And we had a lot of screen interactions, to say at least.”
“But…” Hange’s eyes returned to his lips, her fingers lightly touching the latex. She gently picked at the scar, deftly peeling off the material until it came off his skin.
Levi shuddered at her touch, it didn’t help that her focused face was too close for comfort. For what seemed like a minute of suffocating proximity, Hange didn’t realize her thumb was grazing his lower lip.
“Oi... H-hange…” Levi gasped in a whisper.
“I just wonder…" Hange murmured unwittingly. "Why didn't they make us a thing?"
Levi’s eyes widened in shock. He froze in place. What the hell is she talking about?
“We’re best friends in the series—we’re close and comfortable with each other. Should that develop into something? It’s a rational thing to say. Why didn’t they see it?” Hange stated nonchalantly. “Why didn’t they see the possibility of romance when we’re approaching the end of the world? People would cling for comfort, free some suppressed feelings, settle some tension. Hell, even other post-apocalyptic showed romance and intimate scenes in the most uncommon circumstances.”
Levi’s nerves were raging. Her statements… were suggestive. God knows how much self-control he had left to stifle the urge to grab her face and kiss her senseless.
“Why...” Hange’s eyes were half-closed as if drunken by her own words. She was leaning closer now, her warm breath ghosting his mouth. “Is that how we should part? Your fist against my chest? Not meeting me in the eye?”
Levi swallowed hard. Hange should stop doing this to him.
“Maybe, we could’ve done something better than vague goodbyes.” Hange’s thumb traced the corner of his mouth. To Levi’s anticipation, he shut his eyes tight at the closeness of her lips.
“Hans! Hey, we’re popping the drinks!”
Both jerked in their seats, heads smashing against each other.
“Oh… damn!” Jean Kirstein stood by the doorway. “Uh… the door’s not locked.”
“Get the fuck out of here before I can stick my blade up your ass!” Levi snarled, rubbing his forehead furiously.
Jean winced. “Uh, sorry. Didn’t mean to see whatever that is.”
“You didn’t see anything out of the ordinary,” Hange said. “I was just helping him peel off his scar.”
Jean didn’t look convinced. “Took you long enough to peel that off and leave us out there salivating for alcohol?”
Hange looked at Levi apprehensively, then back to Jean. “Well, you could get the party started without me. Levi irritated his skin—just needs a little TLC. Trust me, you wouldn’t want latex on your skin sitting for days.”
Jean just shrugged. “All right then. Levi, you’re gonna join us, right? It’s Hange’s last night with us. Or… you wanted her all by yourself?”
Levi shot daggers at him, springing from his seat until Jean took this as a cue to scramble away.
Hange was fast to grab Levi's arm. “Let him go. It’s not like he caught us making out.”
As it should be. Levi looked at Hange thoughtfully as if to hint at something.
“Jean's right, though. Now, why not join us for a few drinks?” she offered. “Which reminds me why I am looking for you in the first place.”
“I’d rather sleep,” Levi drawled, looking away in disappointment. He swore he was blushing hard, but Hange had the same flush on her face when he looked in the mirror. Did his imagination take him too far to see things? Or maybe he was seeing the real thing?
“Fine. Guess, I’d better go. They’re waiting,” Hange said urgently, standing up and locking her hands behind her. “And make sure to wash your face. Put some gentle moisturizer. I know you carry one. The red marks should be gone by tomorrow.”
“Right,” Levi clipped, looking perturbed as he inspected his reflection again.
“Well, uh…” Hange looked a little tense, blocking it with an awkward smile. She was heading to the door without looking back. “Good night, then. Have a good rest!”
“Oi Hange!” Levi called her, not missing a beat.
Hange turned back with a confused look on her face.
“I just want you to know that… it still sucks… that you died,” Levi croaked. “Damn, I’m gonna miss that shit-eating grin face of yours.”
Hange snorted. “You really mean to say that?”
Levi shrugged. “I’m bad with words. But of course, I mean it.”
Hange crossed her arms across her chest, thinking. “Can I ask you something?”
“Huh?”
“If you were given the chance to change my fate in the story, how would you want it to turn out?” Hange asked curiously.
“Idiot. You’re the one who suggested to burn and die.”
“It’s just a hypothetical question. How would you want it to end for Captain Levi and Commander Hange?” She was leaning against the doorframe, waiting for an answer.
Levi could just tell her to fuck off, but after the events earlier—the tension between them at that dizzying distance—maybe it is best to be honest about it.
“I…” Levi started, trying to sound nonchalant. “Maybe I’d go with you…”
“Go?”
“Go battling with you. With the titans.”
“But we’d both die,” Hange pointed out.
“Die as the last remaining veterans. You’re the only one I’ve got.”
Hange gasped in surprise. Was Levi speaking from his character’s perspective?
“We’re all signed up for death, anyway,” Levi said. “But… I think it’s best if both of us live until the end. Experience freedom. Experience life without wars. Live in the forest… together. And you’re right about why they haven’t thought of something to bloom between us.”
The blush was back on his face, redder than Hange remembered, and she could smile endlessly at that endearing sight.
“The series isn’t focused on romance, silly. Leave it to the kids. We’re too old for that!” Hange pointed out. “And you’d lose fans.”
“Lose fans?”
“Because they don’t ship us?” Hange guessed.
“Is that a thing?”
“Well, aren’t you aware you were shipped with Eren or Erwin?” Hange quipped. “That’s quite a huge following. Haha! I’ve seen so many fanarts too! Everyone’s crazy about it.”
Levi choked. “What the fuck?!”
Hange threw her head back in laughter. “Yeah, that’s a thing!”
“What’s wrong with people’s taste?!” Levi shook his head. “If fans started to force me to kiss those guys during a fan meet, then all hell breaks loose!”
Hange had tears in her eyes. “Obviously, you’re living under a rock. Please respect the queer community. Don’t be homophobic.”
“I’m no fucking homophobic! I’d rather be shipped with a broom.”
“Oh, that’s another thing too!” Hange said. “To people who wanted you to themselves.”
“Un-fucking-believable!”
“So, you get it now? Maybe Captain Levi and Commander Hange aren’t made for each other.”
“It’s decided from the start, anyway,” Levi said. “Captain Levi was no romantic material.”
“Right. And it’s not good for your career either,” Hange supplied.
“Who says I’m gonna pursue this career?”
“Whoa! Am I missing out? Hey, you have a lot of projects lined up. Including a major role for another series?” Hange said.
“Tch. I only played this role to pay for my rent. And now that I got two houses and an apartment, I think I could live with that. I’ve probably saved enough to survive another fifty years,” Levi said. “Acting’s not in my books. Just wanna get this series done so I’d be out of the limelight.”
“Ah, I forgot you’re the highest-paid actor among us,” Hange remarked. “But then, you’d disappoint your millions of fans.”
“The feeling is mutual. If they could just drop the ‘shipping’ thing.”
“Why? Whom do you want to be shipped with anyway?” Hange asked playfully.
The mere fact that Hange was just fooling around or trying to crack what was on his mind gave him the jitters. Not gonna fall for that.
“Nobody. Now go, everyone’s waiting for you outside,” Levi said with finality.
Hange deflated with drifting eyes. “One last question, sure you’re not coming?”
“I’ve said it already.” Levi turned away from the mirror and finished the rest of his stuff. Right now, all he could think of was to drive home and sleep for god knows how long.
When he heard the click of the door, Levi assumed Hange was already gone outside. He zipped his bags and kept them aside with a resigned sigh. Silence is the comfort he needed. Perhaps he’s too jaded to function and think right now. They’ve been shooting for three days straight, draining him of what was left of his sanity. And perhaps he is okay with that. A manageable void that he could fill in a few days by gardening or exploring a new hobby. Anything to get his mind out of uninvited thoughts. But with Hange gone, it wouldn’t be the same moment without her. And he was sure his mind would be dominated by an entirety of her and her alone. What the fuck did this person do to him?
He collapsed on a swivel chair and threw his head back. He stared at the ceiling as he spun himself around with abandon. He could use some alone time to ruminate and re-evaluate himself. Think about anything else after the series is over. Some investments, tea shop business, pet grooming station, a gym...
Damn. His fucking future doesn't make sense right now.
Because all he could think about is that bespectacled woman who would be leaving him behind.
His vision was already turning as he closed his eyes until he felt a shadow above him blocking his light.
“The fuck!”
He was met by Hange’s face again, who was looming over him.
“Four-eyes, you fucking scared me! I thought you left!” Levi barked.
“Uh… I think I forgot something.”
Levi blinked his eyes rapidly.
“I know you hated how everything turned out in the story—specifically my death. I just want to say they should’ve at least made my exit bittersweet…” Hange said, turning his chair so he was facing her. Her hands grabbed the arms of the chair, caging him under her form.
“Are you so bothered by your death that you couldn’t stop talking about it?” Levi asked cautiously with a flinch, confusion passing over his face.
“What do you think?” Hange winked.
Levi stared at her unblinkingly, and then his eyes noticed the latch on the door. “You locked the door?”
Hange nodded. “Just to make sure no one’s coming in.”
“You sure have a lot to say. Hey, are you planning to kill me and hide my body in one of the lockers?”
Hange shook her head with a laugh. “It’s hard to be this show’s main star. You always think about killing.”
“Why beat around the bush? Get straight to the point, four-eyes. Not in the mood to put up with your theatrics today.”
“You’re right. I couldn’t get over my death. I think I was caught up in my character this time.”
“You’re crazy. You only realized that now?”
“Yep. And it doesn’t make sense.”
“So, are you changing your mind? Would you want to live now? Change the entire scene? Live and make it alive until the end?” Levi babbled nonsensically.
Hange scoffed. “After all that super cool, tear-jerker sequence? No way! That took us a whole day.”
“Then what the fuck are you rambling on for real?”
“That… I want to make sense of this.” Hange cupped his face and leaned in to stare right into his eyes.
It was easy to petrify Levi. He stilled on the seat like a frozen corpse as Hange engaged him in a staring contest.
His lips quivered. “What in the titan’s ass are you gonna do with…”
“You,” Hange murmured. “What are you gonna do about this?”
“Are you drunk?”
“I haven’t even started drinking.”
Levi was losing his cool. If he tried to lean away, Hange was just trying to close the distance by mere inches. “Fine, I give up. What do you need now?”
Hange smiled and leaned closer to seal their lips together. Her hand made its way to the back of his head to press him further. It was brief, warm, and light that the shivering effect reached Levi’s spine, sending sparks all over his body.
She pulled away in a nervous giggle, while Levi was left seated with blown-up pupils and a washed-out face.
“Thanks for not giving me a kick, though!” Hange said happily, her face bright pink. “I was afraid I’d join the crew tonight with a broken bone.”
“What… the hell was that?!” Levi took a few seconds to come back to life as if the words got stuck in his throat.
“Because this never happened in the series at all,” Hange sang. “It should be your kiss and not your fist. Couldn’t you tell? I shipped us so hard!”
“What?!”
Hange fanned herself. “Ah, I see it still didn’t make sense to you. Well, Captain Levi and Commander Hange didn’t get their happy ending. So maybe…”
Levi’s silence urged her to continue what she said.
“Maybe in real life—as Levi and Hange sans our roles—we’d… you know… we’d make sense of this because our reality is far too different from what people see on camera. We’re in a show where we are stuck as soldiers—in a world of exploring the human condition and its quest for survival. It’s a world that took away everything from us: friends, comrades, families…”
Levi listened to her intently.
“Freedom… the chances… of protecting someone… loving someone…” Hange sighed. “It’s depressing. And sometimes, why did I even accept a role to make me depressed?”
“You’re just too caught up in your character, you said so yourself.”
“Maybe I am,” Hange clipped. “But I’m missing something out. Because I’ve been out of touch with reality. And I know you are, too.”
She was right. And Levi is being guilty of it. That should explain his disdain after Commander Hange’s death—a character he’d become attached with. His inability to serve his lines and his grouchiness throughout the shoot was a mystery to everyone and somehow, to himself. Yes. It was more accurate to say he was more caught up than she was. Bent out of shape from a loss that never happened. Captain Levi consumed him as a person, and losing his commander made it all worse.
And that was it. Maybe both of them didn’t realize it sooner. And maybe both have denied the existence and possibility of attraction outside the reel. They were absorbed by their roles—obscuring their feelings as real people who connect behind the camera. Those subtle moments when they would tend to each other’s bruises after a wipeout. Those times when Levi would bring food for two. Those times they would drink from the same bottle after exhausting fight scenes. Those moments when they would practice their scripts for hours but ended up in endless and unbridled chatter because their lives are more interesting outside the set. Every little moment was framed by unnoticed closeness, linked like a pair of limbs that were useless without the other.
And Levi realized it just now. His feelings of emptiness wouldn’t deny that he’d been affected not by her “death” but by her departure, and there was no assurance if she would keep in touch with any of them—him, specifically. He wanted that special attention from her, as the prospect of separation anxiety was the perfect time to untangle their convoluted feelings and settle their unresolved tension. Captain Levi was a distant entity, impassive and rude, but Levi Ackerman as a person was a welcoming spirit who is a little rough around the edges, but secretly cherishes important people with all his heart.
And Hange tops the list.
Perhaps it’s about time to explore what’s beneath their outward personalities, and that was to acknowledge the fact that something has “grown” between those moments they didn’t realize that they’re functioning as each other’s half.
Levi pulled himself up to his full height and met her bewildered eyes. His enlightened face gave it away.
“You made more sense today than all those years I thought you were only good at picking at me,” Levi said with a half-grin. He stepped a little closer, finally easing himself to make this encounter a little less uncomfortable for the both of them.
Hange grinned smugly. “Did I just break the walls around you?”
“Better than the Founding Titan who destroyed the walls.”
“I’m glad I died.”
“Huh?”
“Because finally, you’re an open book to me.”
It was now his turn to return the affection as he lifted one hand to rest on her face. He craned his neck to meet her eye, with the desire of tasting her lips again.
And then, Hange didn't hesitate to meet him halfway.
“Mikasa, do something about this!”
Something explosive and utterly scandalous greeted Mikasa one morning when they were camping out on the fourth day of their filming break. The frantic voice of her manager boomed through her ears, sending her to crawl out of the tent she shared with Eren.
“What?” Mikasa rubbed her eye in a daze. “Do something about what?!”
“The blind gossips are out again. There’s a blind item about two AOT stars caught making out in the set a few days ago!”
Mikasa sleepily recounted what the hell her manager was talking about. Her mind was a haze, still caught up in sleep. She thought about saying: What’s the fuss? Eren and I were together. Making out is normal. However, she also realized they never really “make out” during their tapings.
Her manager continued, “I know some fans knew you were an item, but please! Be discreet about your relationship! Eren had a huge number of fans who shipped him with Levi. At least let the series finish before you go out publicly.”
Mikasa coughed out something nonexistent in her throat. “W-what?! But we… Eren and I don’t…”
Somehow, she couldn’t tell what was more disturbing: her, allegedly being caught making out with her boyfriend or her boyfriend being shipped with her cousin.
She’d lose her appetite after this.
Mikasa’s panicked voice was the first to wake Levi up. He was staying in his cozy apartment, buried under his pristine sheets that smelled of pines and lavender.
“I didn’t remember setting you up as my alarm clock,” Levi drawled. He used to ignore early morning calls, but maybe he was in the mood to entertain his cousin, who must have run into some trouble while camping out and needed his help. What’s the use of having their boyfriends around?
Eren and Armin are always a useless duo, anyway.
“And I didn’t remember pulling off a stunt to make me a social media blind item for something I didn’t do!”
“Brat, what are you talking about?”
There was a frustrated sigh on the other end. “Listen, if you’re gonna make out with Hange, better do it somewhere people wouldn’t see you!”
“Huh?”
“You know, I should be happy about you finally confessing to her, but god! Get a room somewhere! Those rumormongers make money from petty and private issues—even fake ones!”
“Sounds like I did a crime.”
“The bad thing is, Eren and I were your scapegoats.”
“Too bad they didn’t look closely.”
“And too bad, we have the same hair color!”
“That’s their problem.”
“Wait, so you’re not denying it! It was you!”
“No.”
“Wait!”
“Bye, brat! Channel your frustrations elsewhere.”
Levi pinched the bridge of his nose as he hung up. To save a throbbing vein this early morning, he turned off the phone and tucked it under the pillows. He collapsed back onto his bed and curled to his side.
A slight shift from him stirred the other person lying on the other side of the bed. A muffled groan sounded beneath the sheets, with bare arms stretching out languidly.
Levi had never shared his bed with someone before, but the past few days summoned the blissful times.
“I could hear her voice from the receiver…” the voice said. “Sounds riled up. Didn't you meet her last night because you're with me?”
“Don't be silly. It’s Mikasa,” Levi said in a bored tone. “Your ears are as bad as your eyesight.”
There's a giggle. Hange’s head peeked out of the white sheets and gave him a sheepish grin. She snaked her arm over his bare torso. “Just wondering what the ruckus is all about.”
Levi flicked her forehead. “Nothing that will interest you.”
Hange hummed and narrowed her eyes. She noticed the hampered space of a single bed occupied by two people. “You’re too stiff on that position.”
“Because you occupied most of the space.”
Hange thought for once. “But we fit when we’re…”
Levi shook his head. “Shut it. Your genius head knows.”
Hange laughed boisterously. “Yeah. We fit when two become one…”
Levi clicked his tongue.
“You think we need a bigger bed?” Hange suggested.
“How about a bigger place near the university?” Levi proposed instead.
Her eyes shot up, gleaming with disbelief. She jerked up elatedly. “So, you decided already?”
“After my retirement as a captain, of course,” Levi said. “I could accept a few endorsements or bit-roles, as long as they wouldn't require extended contracts.”
Hange squealed. “Uh-huh. And are you sure you want to leave behind your fame?!”
“As long as my fame doesn’t involve me being shipped with men, then, that’s pretty acceptable.”
Hange shrugged. “You sure aren’t over it. Erwin’s pretty cool about it, though, and Eren said you’re no different from Mikasa.”
“What do you expect? They’re creepy as fuck.”
“Wait until you see your fanarts,” Hange teased. “Ah, they’re a talented bunch. I could ship you with Erwin, too.”
“If you don't shut up about it, I'd toss you out of my room.”
“Hey, give your queer fans some love! If they happen to see you throw a fit like that, they’d be disheartened.”
“Damn, you’re actually requesting my death in the show so we could move in together,” Levi spat.
“Nah. Money-makers of the show should keep the profits coming. They won’t kill you.”
“They should. Make it a fact that overpowered characters are mere mortals too.”
“Why are you so critical of the show?!” Hange whined playfully, giving him a tickling peck on his neck. “Thank Isayama because he created you!”
“I thank him because I met you.”
“And thank my death because we wouldn’t be ending up in bed like this,” Hange crooned, scooching closer to him.
Indeed. The show was something else. No matter how much he hated its story, playing Levi Ackerman salvaged him from all sorts of mid-life crises. It paid his rent and bills, and bought him all the necessities he could never afford before. Somehow, that secured his future. And maybe it also introduced him to planning ahead for the next phase in life—minus the blade-wielding roles he had to play to make a name.
And the best part would be Hange, who finally shed off her Survey Corps coat to get in touch with reality and her dreams. Sure, Levi was done with acting, despite its many contributions to his life’s improvements. But now, it was high time to face another chapter in life with her.
“Hey, Levi… I learned that some people shipped us, too. If not too many,” Hange digressed. “And the most shipped character with me is YOU! Isn’t that great?!”
“Who cares?”
“Levi, some people saw our dynamic! And they saw it before you did.”
“Good for them. But at least, I’m not too late to see our dynamic, too,” Levi said.
“Because you’ve been dense for too long.”
“No. You are.”
“No! I initiated our first kiss.”
“I brought you to bed first…”
Hange blinked her eyes. “Real smooth, Levi…”
Levi smirked and got up. “Time for breakfast, now.”
“But aren’t you going to be my breakfast?” Hange joked.
“Not today, shithead.” Levi put his shirt on. “Now, help me with the eggs.”
“Ah, I just had them raw last night!” She pouted playfully.
A naughty realization hit Levi in the face, prompting him to reach for a pillow and hit her squarely on her face.
“The hell, Hange,” Levi snapped. "Are you fucking in heat?!"
"Maybe," Hange purred. "I burned myself to death, remember?"
Levi couldn't argue with that.