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Most days, Deanna loves being an empath. Today is not one of those days. She's felt Will pacing all evening, his mind catching up to his emotions long enough that he's finally processing the decision he made to stay and questioning himself and his motivations. It's bad enough that her imzadi is struggling, but she can also feel, deep down, that she was one of - maybe the major - reason that he's chosen to stay, and she feels a lot of things about that. She's trying to keep her distance because she doesn't want to complicate things for him, but after three and a half straight hours of self-doubt and a mild identity crisis she has to step in as a Counselor if not as a... friend. She arrives at his door and it opens the moment she rings the bell. Will is standing in the middle of his living room looking somehow small and lost, his arms wrapped around himself and his hair stuck out at odd angles as though he's been pulling at it in anxiety. "What took you so long?" He greets her, and while she can tell he was going for his usual charming humour, it comes out much rawer and more honest than he intended.
"Oh Will," she croons, crossing to him and leading him to the couch where she can comfortably get an arm around him. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Which part?" He rasps. "My father, or the commission I turned down?"
"Either? Both?" She rubs a comforting hand up and down his back and waits.
"What the fuck was it all for, Deanna?" He asks suddenly, voice harsh. "Why the Hell did I work this hard, did I give up so much, if I was just going to give up anyway?"
She can hear all of the things he's very carefully not saying and she loves him all the more for the tact he's displaying even now when he's feeling so lost. She takes both of his hands in hers and looks him in the eyes. "Was that the ship you wanted to captain? Was that the mission you wanted to lead?" He shakes his head. "And do you, William Riker, really believe that the Aries is going to be your last opportunity to be a captain?" He shakes his head again, and she squeezes his hands firmly. "Say it, Will. Out loud."
"No," he admits, holding her gaze. "I don't believe that's going to be my last chance at the big chair."
"And did you have good reasons to stay?" She doesn't really realize what she's asked until the words are out of her mouth and it's too late to take them back, so she tacks on, "Professionally, I mean?" She puts on her best Counselor face, hoping he can sense she's not fishing for compliments or declarations of love.
This time, he's the one that squeezes. "I did," he assures her, and he sounds more like himself now, his thoughts also feel steadier. "Picard is a great captain. There's still a lot to learn from him. The Enterprise is the assignment of a lifetime, one of the greatest boats in the fleet. This crew is the best of the best. I'm not ready to give that up."
She nods, and gently removes her hands from his. "Then I think you have your answer, Commander." She smiles at him, and starts to get up until a gentle pressure on her shoulder stays her movement.
"I'm not ready to give you up either, imzadi." The confession is soft and demands nothing of her in return. "Our friendship. Your presence in my life. I'm not ready." He stumbles a little over the words, but his eyes remain fixed on her own. "I wasn't ready to make us sad again." And in her head he whispers. "To make YOU sad again."
She leans forward and kisses him very carefully, with great restraint, before rising to her feet. "I'm glad you're still here," she says, smiling down at him as she echoes his words from a year ago. "On this ship. I'm glad you're not gone." She moves to the door and looks back once before she takes her leave. "I hope you won't regret staying." And in his mind, very softly as she makes her way back to her room. "I'll try to make sure you don't."