Work Text:
Ever since he found the GLAD website by trolling the forums, Gerald had been curious to what the meaning of all of those letters were. He wasn’t the type to judge that kind of stuff, he was straight but he thought it was just love and gender and whatever they could come up with nowadays. With his job as a lawyer, he didn’t have the energy to care.
But ever since he took up trolling, it had seemed like a more important issue in his life than before, or maybe that was just the people overreacting and starting a flame war with him. Either way, his curiosity had been piqued.
So, one night, when he was in his office late, he decided to look up the acronym and what the letters meant. Lesbian and gay, he already knew. Transgender, he already knew. But there were a million other different labels, like asexual, non-binary and bisexual.
The label bisexual stuck out to him, and he didn’t know why. He didn’t have any boyfriends or anything, he loved his wife, and he felt as though he would stay loyal to her.
He leaned back in his seat, reading over the definition of bisexual over and over again.
Bisexual: the attraction to both sexes
Is that why he felt the way he did? He looked over to the door to make sure it was closed, then looked at his computer again, stress washing over his expression.
If he was bisexual, it would explain a lot. It would explain why his gaze lingered over Randy when he passed by him. It would explain why he would find certain men handsomer than a straight man ever would. For the love of god, he jokes with his wife about his supposed crush on Ryan Reynolds.
He closed the tab, unsure of what to feel about this information. If he outright said to everyone that he was bisexual, what would the town think? They would probably just think he was a gay man in the closet. Maybe they would know about his crush on Randy.
Wait a minute.
His mind paused for a moment at the thought. Did he really have a crush on Randy Marsh? Gerald felt differently around him than other men, but that didn’t exactly mean…
No. He didn’t know, didn’t want to know.
He stood up, heart racing, and went to bed, curling up next to his wife, Sheila, looking over to her. He loved Sheila. That, he knew for sure. But they had been fighting recently, and he was sure the kids caught wind of it. This would probably make things a lot worse. So, for now, his family wouldn’t have to know about his bisexuality, nor his maybe crush on Randy.
As soon as he got into bed, he got out, putting on his slippers and walking outside and turning on the car, driving in order to clear his head, or that’s what he told himself, anyways. He drove around town, still in his pajamas, hoping that nobody would see him. As he drove outside of town, he turned the knob of the volume of the car radio.
What if he told Sheila? No, she would overreact and probably accuse him of something. Kyle and Ike? No, they would tell their mother. Stuart would probably not understand, either. He was out of options, and as much as he didn’t want to, his exhausted mind could only come up with one person.
Randy.
Eventually, he had reached the area around Tegridy Farms, and he had decided to park there. As soon as he pulled in, Randy, who was on the porch, stood up, looking confused and somewhat angry before realizing it was Gerald, walking over to the car with a lit joint in his hand.
“Hey, Ger! What the hell are you doing here?” He laughed, as Gerald got out of the car, self conscious about still being in his pajamas.
“Oh, y’know, I was out of town, and I thought I would stop by.” He responded, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head.
“In the middle of night.” Randy looked at him up and down, his red eyes filled with suspicion. “In your pajamas. What’s really going on?”
“Nothing, Randy. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“A lot on your mind isn’t ‘nothing.’” He said. “What are you thinking about?”
“I- just-“ He sighed in frustration. “I can’t tell you.”
“Why not?” Randy pauses. “Is it illegal?”
“Wha- No! It’s just really personal.”
“C’mon, we can talk about this over some of my special blend.”
“Sorry, Randy. I’m not a big smoker, or drug-doer, for that matter.”
“Whatever. You going to stay here and mope around my farm, then?”
“When you say it like that-”
“It’s the truth.”
Gerald stayed silent for a moment, looking a bit sheepish before speaking again. Doubts filled his mind, this was a terrible choice, he should just go home.
“Fine, I guess you’re right. I’ll just leave, then.” He turned to get back into his car, before Randy grabbed him by the shoulder, a look of desperation on his face.
“Nonono, wait, Ger, I’ve been waiting since I heard your loud ass car.”
“What? Why?”
“I’ll tell you why, if you tell me what’s on your mind.”
Gerald turned towards Randy, closing the door to his car.
“Woo!” Randy cheered quietly, putting his hands up. “That’s my Gerald!”
“Fine, but you can’t tell anyone.”
“Okay.”
They walked over to a grassy patch on the farm, right by the barn. They both sat down, looking at the stars. Gerald gulped, he didn’t know if he should tell Randy. With a moment of silence, he finally confessed his secret.
“I think I’m bisexual.”
“I knew it.” He laughed, taking one last puff of his joint before extinguishing it with his shoe, throwing it behind him. “You were always kind of fruity.”
“Randy, what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Look, all I’m saying is, bisexuals know bisexuals.”
“Wait… you’re not saying…”
“I’m bisexual, too. Haven’t told anyone but my family. Sharon still thinks I’m going to have a polyamorous relationship or something.”
“H… How’d you get to telling your family? I don’t think I could ever tell Sheila. I think she would think that I’m cheating or something…”
“Well, it’s easy, really. All you have to do is say ‘Hey, I’m bisexual, deal with it.’ If they have a problem with it, you tell them to go fuck themselves.”
“I’m not going to tell my kids or Sheila to go fuck themselves.”
“That’s how I got my family to accept me.” He shrugs. “It takes time and willpower.”
“Yeah… I don’t think I could ever tell anyone but you. It’s going to be our little secret.”
“When you put it like that, it sounds like we’re having a secret relationship or something.” Randy put his hand over Gerald’s.
“Erm…” He flushed, not sure how to respond to Randy’s response or the physical contact. “It kinda does, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah…” Randy looks over to him. “Not that I would mind.”
“Huh? Randy… you wouldn’t…?”
“I’m going to ask you a question, and you have to be honest. Are you in love with me, Gerald?”
“Randy… I don’t know. We both have wives, and-“
He trailed off, looking over into his eyes before Randy leaned in for a kiss, he knew he was testing his luck, but at this point, exhaustion had clouded both of their minds.
He kissed him back, wrapping his arms around him. They enjoyed the sounds of the outdoors for a moment before Gerald regained some of his senses, suddenly pulling away from the kiss.
“We can’t do this.” He says, out of breath. “We both know we can’t.”
“C’mon, like you said, it’s our little secret.”
“But that was before we…” The man trailed off, looking away from him.
“Still applies.”
“I can't do this. I’m sorry, Randy.” Gerald stood up, walking over to his car, turning on the engine before looking sadly at Randy, who was by the car.
Gerald took the hour-long drive back to his house. By the time he could see his house, the sun started peeking out over the horizon. He pulled into the driveway, quietly opening the door, only to find Kyle, who was investigating the noise.
“Dad?”
“Kyle, shshshshh. Don’t be too loud.”
“What were you doing out there?” He lowered his voice to a whisper.
“Listen, daddy was just thinking, and he decided to visit a friend.”
“About what?”
“Listen, I can’t tell you right now, I’ll tell you later.”
“No, dad. Who did you see?”
“Your friend Stan’s dad.”
“Why?”
“Kyle, do you have to question everything? I just talked to him, and I’ll tell you what about if you promise not to tell your mother.”
“What?” Kyle raised an eyebrow. “Fine, I won’t tell.”
Kyle looked at his father expectantly, waiting for an answer. Gerald looked away, awkward silence filling the room before he spoke.
“Kyle, look. This may be hard to understand, but I like men. Don’t get me wrong, I still love your mother, but I like men too.”
“Like Ryan Reynolds?”
“Like Ryan Reynolds. Now go back to bed. You have school today.”
“Okay. Goodnight, dad.”
They both went to their respective bedrooms. As for Gerald, the exhaustion of staying up all night hit him. As soon as he laid down, he fell asleep.