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It wasn’t often that they were allowed to do this, but every now and then, Aizawa would be in a good enough mood to let them have a party in their dorm. When they got extra lucky, Aizawa would be on a mission on the same night. That’s when they would be able to sneak in alcohol. No matter how much Iida complained, they were always able to get a good amount of beer and some liquor.
It was just them after all, and it was a way for them to relax and destress from their school work and work studies. The whole class hung out in the common room, laughing and talking without care. Being the teenagers they rarely got to be, and taking the opportunity to celebrate the start of their third year at UA.
Kirishima didn’t know why they even got alcohol. He didn’t drink much, he didn’t like the taste or the way it made his head fuzzy. He felt like it kept him from enjoying the moment, unlike what his friends said about making it more enjoyable. Then again, it came with the known fact that Bakugou was a lightweight.
Not only was Bakugou a lightweight, no one knew what kind of drunk he was going to be until he got done with the first half of his beer. There were a lot of different types of drunk Bakugou, even though angry drunk was the most common. There were times when Kirishima would be surprised by a sad drunk Bakugou, clinging to him and sobbing into his chest about the most random things.
Then there were nights like this one, where it seemed like Bakugou was going to just be a happy drunk. Enjoying the night and relaxing with all of them. A small smile on his lips and not really commenting on anything. At least, that’s the type of drunk he had seen signs of when Bakugou had sat next to him with his beer already opened while handing Kirishima his own.
“Here, got you a drink, Red,” Bakugou told him with a grin.
Kirishima took the beer with a grin, before teasing back, “Thanks, Orange.”
Bakugou chuckled as he let himself lean back onto the sofa before taking another sip.
“How far along are you with that?” Kirishima asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Almost done,” Bakugou said with a shrug as he shook the can of beer so that Kirishima could hear the amount of liquid inside.
“Good to know,” Kirishima commented with a hum, knowing that it would probably be the only drink Bakugou would have that night.
Bakugou pouted at the comment, “Why you have to fucking say it like that?”
“What do you mean?” Kirishima asked.
“Like if you don’t think I’m telling the truth,” Bakugou huffs.
Kirishima bit down a laugh, knowing it would only make it worse, “No, I believe you, Kats.”
The nickname was enough to make Bakugou relax once more, “You better.”
Kirishima couldn’t fight down any longer, but it didn’t matter because Bakugou was already leaning against him. Which meant he was forgiven.
“I think Sero is about to explode,” Bakugou commented with a giggle that made Kirishima’s heart skip a beat.
Kirishima turned to find Sero who was dancing with Mina towards one of the corners of the common area to a song that he was sure Mina had requested Jirou to play. It wasn’t slow, but the lyrics seemed to be working on the black-haired boy who was redder than a tomato but couldn’t seem to stop smiling.
“He will be alright,” Kirishima told Bakugou, as he finally took the first sip of his beer.
“They should just fucking confess already,” Bakugou huffed, a bit too loud for it to just be between the two of them.
“They will figure it out,” Kirishima told him. He couldn’t say much about the situation, not without being a hypocrite. After all, he was sitting next to his crush of almost two years. The boy he knew he would never be able to confess to. Not without risking everything between them. Having Bakugou as a friend and suffering in silence once he was alone in his room was better than being rejected and losing his best friend forever.
That would be exactly what would happen. After all, he wouldn’t be able to stay next to Bakugou once his feelings were out in the open. How do you go back to pretending you don’t want to kiss someone when they know you do? How do you go back to not looking at them with longing in your eyes when the longing is revealed?
“I’m going to get another beer,” Bakugou announced, standing up and walking away before Kirishima could stop him.
Kirishima looked around the room as he waited for his best friend to return. Eyeing their classmates with a bit of curiosity. Everyone seemed to be in their own world, having conversations and not really caring what anyone else was doing. The music playing was nice, nothing too wild but enough known tracks that some groups were singing along.
He would miss nights like this once he graduated.
The thought of leaving the dorms was enough to make Kirishima down the remainder of his almost full beer. He didn’t want to think about that, not right now, not when they were having such a good night. He knew Bakugou was probably going to come back with another beer for him anyways.
“I took a shot!” Bakugou exclaimed with a giggle as he walked back to Kirishima.
“You took a shot!” Kirishima responded, trying to match his best friend’s excitement, but worried at the thought. Bakugou had never had more than a beer and a half.
“Okay, I lied… I had two,” he giggled again as he sat next to Kirishima, handing the redhead a beer as he did so.
“Thanks,” Kirishima told him as he watched Bakugou take a big swing at his second beer.
Bakugou cuddled up to Kirishima’s side, “This is fun.”
“Glad you are enjoying it,” Kirishima responded, tempted to lean down to kiss the top of Bakugou’s head.
“I’m glad you’re my best friend, Ei,” Bakugou hummed happily.
“I’m glad you’re my best friend too, Kats,” Kirishima responded with no hesitation.
Bakugou was quiet for a bit, and Kirishima wondered if they had gotten to the sleepy drunk stage of the night. That was until Bakugou started climbing onto Kirishima’s lap.
“What are you doing?” Kirishima asked, a bit of panic in his voice.
“Comfy,” Bakugou replied as if that was all the explanation he needed, a shit-eating grin on his face.
It was enough for Kirishima not to question it, and so, he ended up with Bakugou’s legs over one of his arms, while the other hand held onto Bakugou’s back so that the blond wouldn’t fall off. Bakugou wrapped his arms around Kirishima’s neck, a wide smile on his face in victory.
“Happy now?” Kirishima asked.
“Very,” Bakugou replied, leaning in and kissing Kirishima’s nose.
Kirishima froze, unable to process what had just happened. He watched as Bakugou just giggled to himself before burying his face against Kirishima’s neck.
“What was that for?” Kirishima asked, almost breathless.
“Cause you’re cute,” Bakugou said with a shrug that Kirishima felt against his chest, more than actually saw.
“You… you think I’m cute?” Kirishima asked, just a whisper, scared to break the moment.
Bakugou pulled away then, a frown on his face, “Course I do, Ei. I like everything about you, you know?”
Kirishima tried to find the words to reply. He tried to figure out what to say, or how to react. Before his brain could even process, Bakugou’s hands were cupping his face and the blond’s lips were on his.
The kiss was sloppy, but Bakugou’s lips were soft. So soft and warm against Kirishima’s, who couldn’t help but let out a gasp, out of surprise or fulfillment, he wasn’t sure. His hand on Bakugou’s back pulled his best friend closer. He needed him to be closer.
They pulled away way too quickly, but both of them were breathless, staring at each other for what felt like an eternity.
Bakugou started to giggle, leaning on Kirishima for support as he did so. “I’ve been wanting to do that for so fucking long,” he said between giggles.
Kirishima let out a chuckle, but the sudden realization of how drunk Bakugou was souring what should have been the most amazing moment of his life into nothing more than a drunken mistake. Bakugou didn’t mean any of this, it was the alcohol and the atmosphere. Had he just taken advantage of Bakugou?
Bakugou leaned against Kirishima once more, taking another drink from his beer with a happy hum. Kirishima wondered if his best friend would even remember this in the morning.
“This isn’t right,” Kirishima whispered to himself.
“If life isn’t going right, go left,” Bakugou answered automatically.
Kirishima blinked, not sure what to say to that. Bakugou just wiggled himself closer to him. “I think it’s time for bed,” he said because it was the best option at the moment. A way to get out of the still crowded common room, and to make sure Bakugou was okay.
“I don’t wanna,” Bakugou pouted.
“Come on,” Kirishima said, as he gently nudged Bakugou to get up.
“Fuck no, I like it here,” Bakugou grumbled as his arms tighten around Kirishima’s neck.
“Kats, it’s late,” Kirishima tried, his voice as sweet as he could make it. It was actually only ten, but with Bakugou usually in bed by eight, it was pretty late for the blonde.
“Carry me,” Bakugou demanded.
“What?”
“Carry me. I don’t want to go to bed, but I’ll go if you fucking carry me there,” Bakugou explained.
Kirishima let out a sigh, he had no other option. “Alright,” he said as he made sure to grab onto Bakugou firmly before standing up from the sofa.
Bakugou let out a surprised yelp, hands holding onto Kirishima as the redhead started making his way to the elevator. Only stopping on the way to leave their beers at one of the side tables.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” Bakugou said in awe.
“You left me no other choice,” Kirishima told him with a shrug.
The rest of the way up to the fourth floor was quiet, except for Bakugou humming a song softly to himself. Kirishima couldn’t quite place the song, but it was a sweet melody, and it made his heart ache slightly with how intimate this all felt.
Once Kirishima was able to maneuver his way into Bakugou’s room he let out a sigh of relief. He wasted no time dropping Bakugou softly onto his bed. “Get some rest, Kats,” Kirishima told him.
Bakugou reached out, grabbing Kirishima’s arm before he could pull away. “Stay.”
It wasn’t a question or a demand, it was a simple request that was paired with begging red eyes. Kirishima looked away before they could work their usual spell on him. “Not tonight,” he said with what he hoped didn’t sound as defeated as he felt. “Good night, Orange,” Kirishima tried to make it playful, but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Good night, Red,” came the quiet reply.
Kirishima walked out of the room, praying and begging whatever god would answer him, that Bakugou would remember the events of the night the next morning.
*
Kirishima was nervous as he stood in the kitchen the next morning, waiting to see Bakugou. Waiting to see what his best friend would say about the events from the night before. He was fidgeting, not sure if he should make himself breakfast or wait till Bakugou came downstairs so they could eat together. Should he bring it up or wait for Bakugou to say something? Not sure how to deal with any of this, other than stand there, heart beating almost painfully in his throat.
The memory of the kiss the night before was still crystal clear. He could almost feel the warmth on his lips, and he was scared that he would be unable to not pull Bakugou towards him as soon as he saw him. How could he not reach out and hold his best friend against him? He would need to keep distance between them, if anything, to make sure he wouldn’t do something stupid.
Kirishima was staring at the clock when he heard familiar steps coming his way. He turned around, half scared, half hopeful. Just for his eyes to meet unsure red eyes. A gut feeling telling him that something was wrong.
“Hey Ei,” Bakugou started, scratching the back of his head.
“How did you sleep?” Kirishima asked, unsure what else to say.
Bakugou just grumbled in reply. Eyes on the floor, before slowly meeting Kirishima’s. “Hope I wasn’t too fucking annoying last night,” he mumbled.
“Nah, it’s alright,” Kirishima answered with a smile. “Nothing to worry about.”
Bakugou studied Kirishima’s face, “Yeah… nothing to worry about.”
An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Kirishima tried to say something, trying to find the words he needed to ask about the kiss the night before.
“I’m heading out,” Bakugou said suddenly, not even waiting for a reply.
Kirishima watched him go but didn’t dare to follow. He didn’t care to ask any questions, scared of saying the wrong thing. At least he got his answer. Bakugou didn’t remember the events from the night before. Nothing more than a drunken mistake, his brain reminded him.
**
Bakugou was angry.
He was angry because it was easier to be angry than to feel the way his heart was breaking. He had been so stupid. So fucking stupid to ever think that Kirishima could… no. Of course, Kirishima didn’t feel the same way he did. He had been stupid to even think that he had a chance, that there was even a remote possibility that they might…
Fuck, he couldn’t cry. He wasn’t going to cry. He had been stupid and all of this was his fault. He shouldn’t have kissed Kirishima, and he shouldn’t have been drinking the night before. He knew he wasn’t the best at holding his liquor, but he had been waiting to confess and he thought it would give him the extra push he needed.
It had, but he should have known it wasn’t going to go well. Kirishima was too good for him, he knows that, and with this rejection… he wasn’t able to do anything other than swallow his pride. He just needed time for everything to settle. For his anger to subside, and the heartbreak to be bearable.
He was going to avoid Kirishima for now, to make sure there was enough of him left to be around his best friend. After that, maybe with time, he could be normal around him again. Whatever that meant, since he didn’t know how to not be in love with Kirishima Eijirou.
He spent the whole day avoiding everyone. Knowing that the moment he talked to someone, they would bring up the night before. He was sure at least one person had seen what had happened, and he didn’t want to know how many of his annoying ass classmates knew he had gotten rejected.
It was midday when Kirishima tried talking to him once more. Bakugou felt himself panic when he saw the redhead walking his way. He had been in the kitchen grabbing a drink and the way that Kirishima was smiling at him… was too much. He didn’t even look at Kirishima as he rushed past him, pretending not to hear him calling out his name.
A couple of hours later, Kirishima almost cornered him.
Bakugou was in his room, trying to think of anything that wasn’t red hair, soft lips, and rejection when he heard a knock on his door. “Kats?” his best friend’s voice asked from the other side of the door. “Are you in there?”
Bakugou looked around his room wide-eyed, falling on the sliding door that led to his balcony. Fuck it, he thought as he rushed towards them. He opened the doors and before he could think it over, jumped over the balcony railing. Using his quirk to soften his fall.
Once on the ground, he ran into the nearby trees, making sure to stay out of sight, just in case Kirishima came looking for him. He was so fucking stupid, why would Kirishima come looking for him? Bakugou sat down on the ground, his back against a tree as the tears began to make his vision blurry.
Fucking stupid.
He had risked everything, and now he had lost everything. The anger was gone, and now there was nothing holding his heart together. He felt the pieces stab his insides as the first sob broke through him. He buried his head in his arms, wondering if he would be able to see Kirishima without it tearing him apart.
At least he had gotten to kiss Kirishima once. Once was enough. It had to be. Kissing his best friend, losing him, but having that memory.
Maybe that was the worst part of this mess.
***
Bakugou didn’t go back into the dorm until the sun was setting. Rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand, hoping his eyes didn’t look too red and swollen. He didn’t want anyone stopping him on his way to his room. Then again, he could always explode his way back up to his balcony… then again, that would be like announcing himself. So, he decided to take the elevator.
He held his breath as he walked by Kirishima’s door, moving as quietly as possible to make sure his best friend didn’t hear him arrive. He opened his door and closed it behind him, letting himself lean against it, his head hitting the door with a thump. Fucking stupid.
“Oh, you’re back!”
Bakugou froze, looking into his room and finding Kirishima sitting on his bed. One of his mangas in his best friend’s hands. “What are you doing here?” Bakugou asked, voice so low he wasn’t sure Kirishima heard him.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Kirishima said, eyes dropping to the floor.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Bakugou responded, wondering if he should just leave. Find somewhere else to spend the night.
“Kats,” it sounded like a plea, “I need to tell you something.”
“I want to be alone,” Bakugou told him, knowing he would start crying again at any second if Kirishima continued.
Kirishima grew quiet but still didn’t try to make his way out of the room. “Yesterday, last night,” Kirishima started.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Bakugou said, wondering if he should make a run for it after all.
“I know you don’t remember,” Kirishima was nervous, letting out a shaky breath, “but it wouldn’t be manly of me to not tell you what happened. Last night, when you were drunk, you-”
“I know,” Bakugou admitted, eyes glued to the floor.
Silence took over the room, suffocating both of them as the revelation sunk in.
“You know? You remember?” Kirishima sounded wounded.
“Yeah, I do. Just… let’s pretend it never happened,” Bakugou mumbled.
Kirishima stood from the bed then, running a hand through his hair. He let out a shaky breath before looking at Bakugou head-on. “I’m sorry,” Kirishima choked out, and Bakugou could see the tears in those beautiful red eyes now. “I- I shouldn’t have let it happen. I could have- I’m sorry. I took advantage of you… I understand if you hate me now.”
“Hate you?” Bakugou responded, his voice breaking. If there was one thing he was sure of, he would never be able to hate Kirishima Eijirou. No matter what happened, he would always be completely and utterly in love with him. “I don’t hate you, Ei,” he said just above a whisper.
“I know you have been avoiding me… and now I know it’s because of the kiss,” Kirishima replied.
The couple of steps between them felt like a wide canyon. Bakugou took a step towards Kirishima, holding his breath as he did so. “I just thought you would like some space,” before adding in a whisper, “and I needed some space… with you rejecting me and all.” Bakugou was fighting back tears, he couldn’t cry right now. Even with his heart in a thousand fragments, he didn’t want Kirishima to feel guilty, not when it wasn’t his fault he didn’t feel the same. “We can just go back to how we were, right?” He tried to smile, but he knew it was weak.
Kirishima looked at Bakugou, his mouth hanging open. Tears formed in his eyes, “Rejected you? When did I reject you, Katsuki?”
“Last night,” Bakugou explained, waving Kirishima’s worry away. “It’s fine, really… I knew it was too much to hope for. You having fe-”
Bakugou wasn’t able to finish before Kirishima’s lips were on his, the redhead’s hands cupping his face, as if to keep him in place, but holding him so gently. Bakugou let out a gasp, and it was enough for Kirishima to deepen the kiss, moving closer to him. Bakugou felt himself melting against Kirishima. His hands found their way into slightly tangled red locks, pulling Kirishima closer.
Kirishima pulled away too soon but gave Bakugou another quick peck, then another. “I love you,” the words were soft, with a bit of nervousness behind them. “I am so in love with you, Katsuki.”
“You are?” Bakugou choked up, not daring to believe it was anything other than a dream.
“I have been for a long time,” Kirishima smiled, leaning forward to kiss Bakugou once more. It felt more tender somehow this time.
“I love you too,” Bakugou responded against Kirishima’s lips. “I love you,” he said it again because he was allowed to do so now, and he would never stop saying it.
****
A few minutes later, they were both lying on Bakugou’s bed. Facing each other, unable to look away for even a second. Kirishima’s arm draped over Bakugou’s waist. Bakugou held on to Kirishima’s shirt with one hand, making sure the redhead didn’t go anywhere, but there was nowhere else either of them would rather be.
“You were trying to confess last night,” Kirishima broke the silence, a statement, not a question.
Bakugou froze up a bit, but there was no shame in admitting it now, “Yeah, I was… didn’t go about it in the best way, I guess.” He let out a sigh at his own actions.
“You know, when you kissed me then, I was so happy… until I started to wonder if you meant to do that or if it was just the alcohol talking,” Kirishima explained.
“I drank to have the courage to confess… maybe not the best idea,” Bakugou frowned at the reminder.
Kirishima leaned forward, kissing Bakugou’s forehead. “It’s alright, it got us here.”
Bakugou let out a hum in agreement, shifting his position slightly so that he could give Kirishima a proper kiss.
“Kats, will you promise me something?” Kirishima asked when they pulled away.
“Anything,” Bakugou answered automatically.
“Don’t drink when you want to have an important conversation ever again,” Kirishima smiled as he teased.
Bakugou rolled his eyes, “Just kiss me again already.” Bakugou pulled a giggling Kirishima towards him, and honestly, there was nothing better than this.