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"Fine! Be that way!" Pran placed the book on his lap and looked at the commotion happening in the house next door. A young lady stormed out, slamming the door behind. She paced back and forth before looking at where Pran is. "Sorry about that uncle Pran."
Pran shakes his head. "Everything okay?" He asks.
"Can I join you?" The girl ask instead and didn't wait for Pran to reply before crossing the fence. "What are you reading?" She ask after taking the seat next to Pran.
"Clipped wings." Pran replied. When the girl just hummed in response, Pran didn't say anything else when she stared at the distance. He picked up his book again to read where he left off.
"My girlfriend." She started. "Her parents detest our relationship. We tried keeping our relationship a secret, but it was tiring. So we decided to come out and everything went downhill from then. Should I just end it?"
"Whatever you decide, make sure it's mutual. Talk it out with her, don't end it on your own, because it will never end well. You'll regret it for the rest of your life." Pran replied.
"Uncle Pran, how old are you if you don't mind me asking."
Pran chuckled, putting the book down again. "I just turned sixty."
The girl's eyes widened. "No way!" She exclaimed. "You look so much younger than that!"
Pran smiled. "Thank you."
"Then, can I ask you another question?" Pran nodded. "At some point in your life, did you ever love someone more than anything but had to let them go for whatever reason?"
Pran looked away with a sad smile. "Do you want to hear a story?"
"If you're okay sharing it with me, then yes."
So Pran told her about their very first competition, the day he realized that he was in love with Pat, he keeps everything that is related to Pat, how Pat unintentionally makes Pran even more in love with him, how he hated Ink, even more so when she's with Pat. The very first song he wrote for Pat, how happy he was that he gets to play the song with Pat and how everything crumbled down that same day. How angry he was at his parents and at Pat for ruining his life, how lonely he was in boarding school. Pran told her about the shock he felt upon knowing that he's still so madly in love with Pat even after three years of not seeing him, hearing from him. He told her about the rivalry between architecture and engineering, their petty fights, how they worked together to build a bus stop, how Ink came back and that ugly feeling in his heart came crawling back, history repeating itself again, but then Pat was suddenly acting strange towards him, they had a confrontation and the one thing he didn't expect was for Pat to tell him all sorts of things that Pran thought he only felt alone.
The kiss. The kiss that completed Pran, but at the same time broke him even more. He told her about how hard he tried to ignore Pat, only for that idiot to follow him all the way to the small village, and a new bet was created. He loved every second of it all. He told her about how their friends found out, their mixed reactions. How well Pat's friends took it and how his friends got mad at him.
"And then he got shot simply for standing up to Wai." Pran said, remembering how scared he was of losing Pat that time.
"So, in the end, you all became friends?" Pran nodded. "So what happened?"
"Our parents found out."
"Oh no."
"For the first time, I had the courage to stand up to my mom, but it was only because I was so fed up with everything. I wanted to get away, and we did. We went back to the village and stayed with uncle Tong." Pran sighs, and looked at the sky.
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"Thanks to my mom for not spoiling me." Junior's mom said.
"Auntie, when Junior stays here, do you feel lonely?" Pran ask carefully.
"Sometimes, but I'm more concerned about how well he eats and sleeps at night." She replied. "It's a mother thing."
That made Pran stop walking and suddenly think of his mom. He didn't get to dwell on it that long, because Pat distracted him, as always.
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"I was trying to finish the song I wrote for Pat, but I just couldn't concentrate, it was also a mistake that I flipped through Junior's notebook and read all the things he wrote about his mom. I wanted to call my mom, to not worry her even more, but then Pat came, saying all sorts of stuff, like getting us jobs there and it surprised me, because I didn't think he would take running away so seriously." Pran chuckles. "That silly guy."
"Did you break up at that time then?" The girl asked.
Pran shakes his head. "Of course not. You see, Pat has done so much to me and I wanted to do everything for him too. So, I followed him and we made up. We talked about the hardships we faced together ever since we were kids and it made me realize; Pat really was my everything, still is."
"But?" The girl voiced out the next thing Pran was going to say.
"But even though I was so sure of Pat, I couldn't say the same thing about everything else. We were kids, there's no way we could survive in the long run, we're still students, at that age, we still need our parents support. I suddenly got scared and made a rash decision right then and there, which is so not like me. As always, I woke up first, and since Pat is a heavy sleeper, it was easy for me to get up without so much worry."
"He told you to be honest with him uncle Pran, so why didn't you talk it out with him? Why didn't you just break up with him, instead of leaving him there?"
Pran looked at his hands. "Because if I told Pat I wanted to go back, he would agree in a heart beat even though it's not what he wants, because that's the kind of person he is and that would be so selfish of me. So I left the village and I left Pat."
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Pran stood in front of their house for five whole minutes, wiping his tears away before going inside. "Ma, Pa." He weakly called out. His parents were immediately on their feet, looking shocked and angry. "Ma, Pa, I'm sorry for running away, I just needed time to break up with him." Pran sobs.
Dissaya's anger was immediately forgotten as she watched her son break down in front of her, and as a mother, she hurriedly brought him to her arms. "It's okay Pran, it's okay." Dissaya spoke. "It hurts right now, but you'll be okay. And about that neighbour's son, you'll find someone much more suited to you than him."
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"My parents sent me to New York after that, and I immediately agreed, because I couldn't face Pat again after that." Pran said.
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"Pran! Don't drink too much!" Pran's cousin, Tod, exclaimed for the fifth time.
"Just let me be!" Pran slurred, taking another shot.
Tod closed his eyes to calm himself down before looking at Pran again. "I'll go get you some water. Stay here."
Pran just waves him off. When his cousin is no longer in sight, Pran looks around the room, and his breath hitches as he sees a familiar face in the crowd. "Pat? Pat!" He stumbled out of the chair and through a sea of people before reaching out, grabbing the person's hand.
The stranger turned around with a frown. "Excuse me?"
Pran's vision started getting blurry as tears formed in his eyes. "Pat, you're here." He muttered before hugging the guy. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for leaving you Pat."
"I'm sorry, but you mistook me for someone else." The stranger said.
The stranger tried to push Pran off, but Pran wouldn't budge, crying even harder as he kept apologising. The stranger sighs before awkwardly patting Pran's back.
"So bold of you to cheat in front of me." Another man said and the stranger Pran is hugging, froze. "What's the meaning of this Mr. Chittsawangdee?"
"It's not like that my love." The stranger shoved Pran off before hugging the other guy, glaring at him. "He just mistook me for some guy named Pat."
Pran sobered a little as he stared at the two, more like at the guy he just hugged, his tears forming again. "Pat, did you already forget about me?" He asks, reaching out again.
"Pran! I told you to stay put!" Tod exclaimed, grabbing Pran's arm before looking at the strangers. "Pat?"
"My name's Ohm." He introduces himself.
"Oh sorry." Tod said. "You look exactly like-"
"Pat, yes." Ohm deadpan. "And this is my partner, Nanon." Tod looked at Nanon and then at Pran, and back at Nanon again.
"Don't even say what you're about to say." Nanon hurriedly spoke.
"But you do resemble each other." Ohm said, earning him a glare. "Of course, you're cuter my love."
"Pat, it's only been a year." Pran sniffs. "You already have someone else?"
"Pran, his name is Pran right?" Nanon asks and Tod nodded. "Pat, whoever he is, is not here.
Hearing that just made Pran cry even more. "Of course he's not here. I doubt he knows where I am right now."
"Did you two fight or something? You should talk it out." Ohm said.
Pran stared at Ohm again, making Nanon step forward, shielding Ohm. "Do you want to hear our story?" Before any of them could reply, Pran already started talking. He told them everything from the very beginning, leaving no information untold.
"You left him?" Nanon asks, a hint of bitterness in his voice. "You left him after everything you've been through?" Pran looks at Nanon scowling at him, and then he saw how the guy immediately relaxed when Ohm softly rubbed his wrist followed by a kiss on the shoulder. Pran didn't mask his jealousy as he continues to watch the two. Pat was like that with him too. "I get that you were scared, but running away isn't going to help." Nanon shakes his head.
"I didn't have a choice." Pran tried to justify.
"We always have a choice Pran, we just need to make sure we are making the right one."
"How do we choose the right one?" Pran asks.
"The one that feels right. The one where you wouldn't regret a single thing." Nanon replied. "Someone who's made the right decision wouldn't be in your state right now." And that hit Pran, every word Nanon let go, hit him so deep he couldn't even describe what he was feeling. "Leaving someone behind is the worst thing you could ever do, especially if it's the person you loved the most. I know, because I experienced it first hand." Nanon smiled bitterly. "Being left behind by the person who means the world to me, was so damn painful."
"Non..."
"I know." Nanon looked at Ohm and smiled lovingly. "I'm okay." He reassured him before looking at Pran again. "Pat seems like a great guy, and the kind of guy that would fight everyone, even his own family for you, it's just sad how you can't do the same."
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"That was really a big slap on the face for me." Pran said. "But alas, I was still scared, I still couldn't find the courage to face him, because of guilt and shame."
"So then, what happened? What did you do?"
"The universe created a way for me." Pran smiled. "A year after that encounter at the bar, one of my high school friends sent me an invitation for our class reunion. I thought it was time for me to go back and fix the mess I left behind."
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Pran stood outside the bar and resto their reunions being held at, he's been trying to calm his nerves for the last five minutes, and instead of calming down, he's just getting more nervous. 'Pran, get in there.' He thought to himself. 'It's going to be okay.'
With one last deep breath, he pushed the door open and went in. Loud music can be heard all around the place as well as some cheers here and there, and he already knows it's his classmates that are creating such chaos. He slowly looks around the room, eyes searching for a specific person, and when he did find him, his heart momentarily stopped, before it started beating painfully so. The person was busy laughing at whatever his friends were saying, when one of them nudged him and gestured at Pran, causing the other to look at him.
It's Pat. His Pat.
Pran wanted to run towards him, give him a hug and kiss him, and tell him how sorry he is and that he loves him, but he's stuck, not because his feet were wobbly or anything, but because of how Pat is looking at him.
"Pran!" Pran looked at the direction the voice came from, and saw his friend waved at him. "Come sit here!" Pran nodded at him before looking back at Pat who already went back to talking to his friends. Pran sighs before walking towards the table his friends are sitting. Everyone at the table immediately bombarded him with questions which he only answered halfheartedly as he looked at Pat again. His breath hitch when he noticed Pat's eyes were already on him. Pran smiled at him, but Pat just looked away.
The reunion went on, the mc reliving moments after moments of their shared past, pictures taken all by Ink compiled into a slideshow, making everyone reminisce. Pran was enjoying the show too, but his eyes would always end up where Pat was sitting, smiling and laughing as his friends would point out something. After some time, Pat stood up and went to get some drinks and Pran hurriedly stood up and followed him. He awkwardly approaches the table and pretends to pick some food before looking at Pat who also looked at him.
Pran smiled, Pat didn't.
"Pat-"
"Hey Pat! It's our turn to go on stage." Pat's friend called. Pat put down the cup and immediately left, the friend looking at his back before looking at Pran. "You too Pran. Let's go." Pran just nodded at him and drank water before following them.
The four of them took their place and had the instrument ready, Pran tuning the guitar as the mc speaks, hyping up the crowd before leaving the stage. Pran glanced at Pat, hoping the latter would look at him and give him a nod of encouragement just like in high school, but Pran was left disappointed, but that's okay, it's understandable.
The familiar sound of the sticks reached Pran's ear before the drums and guitar started playing.
~It must be nothing, the way you look at me is common I'm sure
You're just another friend of mine
There must be nothing In the way you talk to me, no need to feel insecure
Or read between the lines~
Pran closed his eyes.
'Why did you play that song?'
'Why? It's my song, I wrote it.'
'But it's the song we played together.'
'So? Ah! This little thing is what made you angry?'
~I can't make sense of what you've done
In my mind there's one question~
'Little thing? Is it that insignificant to you?'
Pran smiles as he remembers that moment. Pat was such an idiot. How could it be insignificant to Pran? It's everything to him.
~Are we just friends or are we more?
You make me feel butterflies in my core
If you don't mean it, don't act that way
This is not what a friend would do or say~
'I don't like it. I hate to see you play it with someone else.'
'We are not a thing, we're not even friends.'
~Should I step back or closer to you?
Do I smile when I see you?
I want to say hi but can't follow through
Not ready to be crushed or lose you~
'It was so depressingly lonely for me. What we have now, what should we call it?'
Pran opened his eyes and turned around to look at Pat, just like before, but unlike before that Pat was also smiling and looking at him, right now, Pat was solely focusing on the drums, not a hint of smile on his face.
Please look at me, even just a glance. Pran pleaded silently but Pat never did, Pran bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying and look ahead again.
~Are we friends or are we more?~
'If we're not enemies, do you think we can be friends?'
'Why? Do you want us to be friends?'
'No.'
~If you don't mean it, don't act that way
This is not what a friend would do or say~
"Thank you." Pran said, and everyone clapped and cheered.
"Pran's voice is still to die for!" The mc said, making everyone laugh. They all went back to their seats, and the show went on. Pran knew of the possibility that Pat would act like this, he was prepared or so he thought but, no, he can barely endure the restriction of his heart, then his stomach dropped. He thought he was prepared that Pat will no longer want him, that he has moved on, but Pran was prepared for nothing at all. He was so naive to think that Pat would welcome him with open arms, that Pat would still be the same Pat. Pran was so naive, and he wanted to run away again, but no, not now, he needs to talk to Pat first, to apologize to him, because Pat deserves it. He owes it to Pat.
The reunion has finally come to an end, and Pran said goodbye to his old friends before stepping out of the restaurant. He took a deep breath and watched each and everyone that exited the place in hopes of catching Pat. Pran didn't wait long, as Pat stepped out, followed by his two friends.
"We'll see you next week then Pat." One of them spoke. "We'll get going now."
Pat was only half listening as he looked at Pran, looking at him, eyes begging. "I'll give you guys a ride home." Pat offered, and it crushed Pran even more.
"Are you sure? It's the opposite way to yours." The other said.
"I don't mind. Let's go." Pat smiled and pushed them both towards his car, leaving Pran standing on the stairway.
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"Hello Paa?"
"Hia! How was the reunion? P'Ink couldn't make it. She's still at work." Paa blabbers.
"It was okay. It was good to see old friends again, and the food definitely did not disappoint." The two siblings continued talking when someone knocked on Pat's door. "Hold on for a second Paa, someone's at the door." Pat stood up and walked towards the door.
"Hia, I-" Pat opened the door without a second thought and saw Pran standing on the other side, hand hanging in the air as he was about to knock again.
"You didn't." Pat spoke, referring to his sister.
"I'm sorry hia, he called me asking where you live and he sounded so desperate." Paa explained.
"I'll talk to you later." Pat said and dropped the call. He put the phone in his pocket, eyes not leaving Pran's. "What are you doing here?" He asks.
"Pat, it's been a while." Pran spoke nervously. "How, how are you?"
"I'm asking what you're doing here." He said, voice firm. "I wanted to see you. Talk to you. Apologize to you." Pran replied. "Would you let me?"
"Let's hear it then." Pat said, sounding so indifferent.
Pran looked at the hallway and then back at Pat. "Can I at least come in?"
Instead of letting Pran in, Pat grabbed his keys and stepped out, closing the door behind him. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"So you want us to talk here?" Pran asks.
"Not a good idea either." Pat replied.
"Let's go to the roof. Everything started on the roof, let's end it there as well." Pat then started walking.
End.
Pat wants to end everything. Pran expected this, but doesn't mean it hurt less.
He followed Pat without a word and the both of them silently climbed the stairs towards the roof. The view is certainly not the same, but still breathtaking. Pran could have enjoyed it if they're in a different situation. "It's nice up here." Pran spoke first.
"I'm tired and I just want to sleep, so can you just say what you want to say and be done with it?" Pat said. He knows he's being harsh, but he doesn't care.
Pran took a deep breath and faced Pat. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Pat."
"Sorry for what exactly?"
"For leaving you, for running away, for being a coward, for everything."
Pat nodded. "Anything else?"
Pran teared up as he looked at Pat, who's looking at him indifferently. What have I done? Pran ask himself. This is not the Pat I knew.
"If that's all, then." Pat turned to leave, making Pran panic.
"I was scared Pat!" He exclaimed. "We were young, we still need our parents guidance, we were just students. We were facing so much uncertainty and I got scared."
"And you think I wasn't scared? There were no uncertainties for me Pran, because I was so sure of everything, of you. I'm ready to stand up for my parents for you, because what we were doing, what we have was never wrong Pran, they're the ones who wronged us." A tear ran down Pat's cheek as he faced Pran again. "What was so wrong about me loving you? What was so wrong about you loving me? What was so wrong about us loving each other, being together? What was so wrong with it? Nothing."
"I know that! The night we ran away, I admitted to my mom that we're together. It gave me relief but at the same time suffocated me even more." Pran admits. "I wanted to get away just so I could breathe, and I did, after I talked to Juniors mom, it made me realize a lot of things, and then all of a sudden you started planning our lives on that village. We were not ready for that kind of commitment."
I was. Pat wanted to say, but stopped himself. "So you left me? You abandoned me?"
"Pat I had no choice and I was confused at that time. I thought it was the best thing to do." Pran said. "I didn't want to ruin our futures, and at the same time I didn't want to be selfish and asked you to go back even though I know you don't want to, but you will because that's how selfless you are." Pran sobs. "I'm so sorry."
"Even so, why didn't you just talk to me Pran? You and I, we do everything together, sure I would have gone back with you, not solely because you wanted to go back, but also because it would also make me realise we really were foolish. What hurt me the most was the fact that you really did abandon me. You betrayed me Pran, you broke not only my love for you, but my trust as well. I woke up thinking you just went out for a bit, until Junior told me he saw you getting on the bus towards the city. Right then I knew you went to see your parents, I waited for you to come back Pran, because I trusted you would come back." Pat wiped his tears away. "I waited a week for you to come back, could have waited a few more if I didn't switch on my phone and learned from Paa that you left the country, left me for good. I thought I was going to die Pran, I was going insane, not knowing what to do, should I follow you? Should I wait? Should I just take it as you no longer want to be with me and give up? I was so confused, and later on opted for the latter, because if you really wanted to be with me all throughout, you wouldn't leave." Pran couldn't say anything as they just both sob. "Why did you come back?"
"Because I'm no longer scared." Pran admits. "Because I want to be with you, because I love you and I will never stop loving you."
Pat shakes his head. "It's too late for that now." He said sadly. "Goodbye Pran." Pat gave him a small smile before walking away.
"Pat! Pat please!" Pran pleaded, sobbing harder, but Pat didn't stop and Pran was left there, with his even more shattered heart.
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The young lady sniffed and wiped her cheeks. "That's so heartbreaking uncle Pran. What happened next? Did you give up? Did you go back to New York?" The girl asks eagerly.
"I went home." Pran laughs. "I confronted my mom once again, told her everything I wanted to tell her. I told her I wanted to be with Pat, and that I no longer care what she thinks or says."
"And?"
"And spent everyday making it up to Pat even though he did nothing but ignore me, but that did not discourage me one bit." Pran smiles. "And three weeks later, both our families coincidentally went to the zero waste village for a weekend getaway. I don't know how or why it happened, if it was a coincidence or not, I was still thankful it happened."
"Must be fate!" The girl exclaimed.
"I think so too." Pran agrees.
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"Pran, is there a place we could go to unwind around here?" Pran's dad asks after their dinner.
"Yes, there's this bar not far from here, want to go check it out?"
"We have nothing else to do." His mom said.
"Let's go then." His dad said, and off they go.
When they arrived at the beach bar, Pran had the best shock of his life when he saw Pat and his family sitting around one of the tables, laughing. Paa was the one who saw him first and gasped, making everyone else around the table look at her and then at Pran. It was obvious that Pat was shocked too, given by the looks of his face. Pran chuckled and waves at him, but Pat only looked away.
"Pran, go get us a drink." His dad said, as they took a seat.
"Pran! You're here as well!" The bartender said as soon as Pran reached the makeshift bar.
"It's been a while. How have you been?" Pran asks, sitting on one of the stools.
"I'm good. I'm good." The man said. "How are you?"
"Not too bad." He replied and looked at where Pat was, before looking at the stage.
"You play guitar right? You should go and play."
"Should I?" Pran asks which the bartender nodded encouragingly. Pran grabbed a glass of beer and finished it in one go before heading towards the small stage. Pran grabbed the guitar and sat down in front of the mic. For just a second, he contemplated singing the song he wrote for Pat back when they ran away, but if not now, when? With that in mind, Pran cleared his throat and moved closer to the mic. "Good evening." He greeted. "Since this is going to be the first and probably the last bar I'll be performing at, can I play the song I wrote?" Pran chuckles. "Before I start, a little back story. All my life, I'm always told not to be friends with this one guy, but we all know how that always goes. Through all ups and downs, we became two people who can't be friends to two people who can't be just friends. I wrote this song for him." Pran smiled as he started strumming the guitar.
~If our love was a song
If our story was written out to sing along
What kind of song do you think our love would be?~
Throughout the song, Pran's eyes were focused on Pat, and to his surprise, Pat was looking at him too.
~Just a love song that you need to listen to
Just lyrics that are nothing new
But you and I know the meaning between the lines
There are no perfect sweet words
Just listen with your heart to find
The answer I've been searching for~
"Love is nothing else but you." And Pran meant every word.
Everyone applauds, even their parents. Pran noticed Pat standing up and he hurriedly put the guitar down and follow him. He silently walks behind Pat, following him wherever he's going, and soon realizes it's the place they visited after coming back from accompanying uncle Tong to the market. Pat then stops walking and faces the ocean, Pran stopping next to him.
"Love is nothing else but you Pat." Pran spoke. "I've loved you since we were seven and I will continue to love you. I know you hate me-"
"I don't hate you Pran, I'm just angry at you, but I will never hate you." Pat replied, looking at Pran.
Pran then remembered his words from back then: 'It was just anger, not hatred.'
"So, you'll forgive me?" Pran asks, his voice shaking.
Pat smiled at him and pinched his cheek. "I've forgiven you a long time ago."
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"What a love story." The girl commented. "So you got back together right? Please tell me you did, because I'll no longer believe in love if you didn't." That made Pran laugh.
"Don't worry. I married him." And the squeal that came from the young lady shocked and amused Pran.
"Married!" She exclaimed. "No wait, so the other uncle I rarely see is him right?" Pran nodded. "Where is he?"
"On a business trip." Pran rolled his eyes. "He won't admit he's old, so he's refusing to retire just yet."
The girl laughed. "Sounds like him from what I heard from your story."
"Baby!"
The young lady saw how Pran brightened up, hurriedly going inside, literally forgetting about her as he went to greet his husband. The girl followed behind him to get a proper look at Pran's husband. Pat opened his arms and Pran immediately ran and embraced him tightly.
Pat wrapped his arms around Pran and buried his face against Pran's neck and inhaled his scent. "I miss you."
"What took you so long?" Pran whines, looking up at Pat.
"Took some time getting the deal, but I'm back now." Pat replied before kissing Pran on the lips and then all over his face, making Pran laugh. The young lady smiled to herself and looked away.
Pran then gasps. "Pat wait, we have a guest." The two men looked at the girl as she awkwardly waves at Pat.
"Hello, good afternoon." She greets. "Didn't mean to disturb you. Uncle Pran, I just want to let you know that I'm going back now."
"Already?"
She nodded. "I need to go and fight for my love as well." Pran smiled knowingly and nodded. She bid the couple a farewell and left.
"Who was that?" Pat asks.
"Kid next door."
"I don't remember any kid next door." Pat frowns.
Pran scoffs and pushes Pat away. "That's because you're rarely home." Pran pouts.
Pat smiles guiltily and hugs Pran from behind. "I'm done after this project Pran, I promise."
"Really?"
"Really." Pran turned around to look at Pat being serious and that's enough.
"Okay. Are you hungry? What do you want to eat?"
"You." Pat wiggled his brows playfully. Pran hit him on the chest before going to the kitchen, Pat following closely. "So, what were you guys up to?"
"Nothing. We're just talking." Pran shrugs.
"About?"
"Her just friend." Pran smirked, and Pat just looked at him in mild confusion. "You don't need to know. Go take a shower while I prepare the food."
Pat nodded as he unbuttoned his shirt. He was about to leave when Pran stopped him.
"I love you." Pran said.
"I love you too baby." Pat replied, kissing Pran's head.
Fin.