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„Damn it! You should’ve told me sooner, that you’re hurt! What the hell am I supposed to do now?“ Porco hissed, brushing a few strands of hair from your face. His light hazel eyes were full of concern and gut-wrenching fear. He was looking at you as if you were dying right there in his arms.
Well... maybe you were.
Your perfectly white uniform was drenched in the blood of your opponents, but also your own. Two stray bullets found their way into your body – one hit your left thigh, and the other went through the left side of your waist. The second one hurt a hundred times more, but the one in your thigh was bleeding more aggressively. At least until Porco took the belt from his own uniform and fastened it around your thigh, just above the gunshot wound, wrapping it over tightly with his jacket.
„I’ll be fine, don’t worry,“ you assured him in a weak voice, while you tried to blink away the exhaustion from combat and blood loss. This never should have happened. It was supposed to be an easy mission. Not an actual assault on one of the other nation's military forts. „They’ll come back for us. A lot of soldiers got left behind... they have to come back.“
„But they may be too late,“ he murmured angrily, running his bloodied hand through his hair. It was usually close to perfect, every little hair knew its exact place. But now they were tousled all around, some of the longer strands even falling into his eyes. The right side of his head was covered in almost dried blood from the wound on his temple. A long red streak made its way down his neck and disappeared under the dirty and bloodied fabric of his uniform. But it seemed that he was fine otherwise. „I don’t know how to stop the bleeding.“
„You’re doing fine, just keep putting pressure on the wound.“
„You’re going to bleed out this way!“
„Porco...“ you said his name calmly, trying your best to smile at him. He was panicking, and so were you. It’s just that you didn’t have the energy to show it. „I’m fine... really.“
Even if for a couple of seconds, you needed to close your eyes. Rest them for a bit, maybe forget everything that was happening around you. Forget the trenches where you and a lot of badly wounded Eldian soldiers were hiding and waiting. The army had to step back from the attack, leaving a lot of its soldiers behind. But you believed that someone will come back. They had to.
You didn’t want to die like this.
Not so soon.
„We should get away from here. The enemy will think about searching the trenches for survivors. And what do you think they’ll do when they find us?“
You smiled again, reaching for his left arm. The tips of your fingers brushed over the yellow armband, which was so much prettier than your grey one. Yellow has always been your favorite color. And it suited Porco and his eyes perfectly. Even more, because he hated it so much, but didn’t want to give it up. He was allowed to wear a red one after Marcel became the Jaw Titan, but since he himself didn’t make it as one of the inheritors, he simply kept his status as a Warrior candidate. And those always wore yellow armbands, separating themselves from other Eldian soldiers. The ones like you. Ordinary people, that gave their lives to the Marleyan military in the hopes of a slightly better future.
„And where do you want to go?“ you asked him, your finger outlining the white Eldian star.
„We can hide in the forest somewhere.“
„I can’t stand up,“ you reminded him.
He shrugged, leaning closer and kissing you on the forehead. „I’ll carry you.“
„My hero,“ you smiled again weakly, caressing his cheek with bloodied fingers. Your hands felt so cold. Just like the rest of your body. „But you can’t tend to me, cover up our trails in the snow, and watch out for the enemy all at once. Trying to run would get us killed.“
„Staying here is going to get you killed.“
„Porco...“
„STOP IT!“ you flinched a little when he yelled at you. Regret almost immediately made its way to his face, because the sudden movement made you grit your teeth in pain. This was the first time you’ve been shot. But never before did you imagine it being this painful. „Please, just... stop saying my name like you’re about to say goodbye to me. You’re not dying here, okay? We’re going back home and we’ll wait for my brother and the others together. You promised to never leave me, remember?“
You nodded, while the pain from your side was spreading through your entire abdomen and climbing up your chest. „I’m not leaving you, Porco.“ No, you weren’t leaving him. Not yet. „And I’m not dying here. I want to live, experience so many things... with you.“
Porco wasn’t a guy who would smile often. That even you couldn’t change. That’s why the shy little smile on his lips made your heart break into a million pieces. You had to be on the brink of death to see him let his guard down and stop pretending to be tough all the time.
„You should go fetch some help, we need to close the wound on my side first, so I don’t lose more blood.“ Stitching up different kinds of wounds wasn’t that hard. You learned to do that even before joining the military thanks to your aunt, who was a doctor back in the internment zone. „I can stitch it up myself, but you need to find me the supplies.“
„I can’t leave you here. What if...“
„You go, I’ll be fine. Just don’t take too long, okay?“
„But how...“
„GO!“ you hissed at him through gritted teeth again. Even breathing was becoming more and more painful.
Porco hesitated for a minute, but when you grabbed his chin and brought his face closer to yours for a short kiss, he snapped back to reality. His lips found yours once more before he pulled his hands away from your side. From that moment it was your responsibility to continuously push on the wound and slow down the bleeding. The good thing was, that the bullet stayed inside. Pulling it out in this situation could be fatal.
You watched Porco slowly and carefully make his way to the direction, where you last saw the two medics, that were always present amongst every soldier unit. Merely for situations like these. You had no idea if any of them was still alive, but in the end that didn’t matter. All you needed was their bag with the medical supplies.
You tried to stay calm and not look around too much. The closest surroundings were filled with the dead bodies of your comrades. They were shot or killed by many grenades the enemy had tossed into the trenches. It was a miracle, that you and Porco weren’t killed in their last attack.
The closest sign of life was a young Eldian soldier, whose name you didn’t know. He way laying a few feet away, his uniform soaked in blood from the three gunshot wounds on his chest. But he was still fighting for his life. Still painfully gasping for air while facing the sky above your head. The sun was slowly setting in the rich hues of yellow, orange, and pink that were peeking through the thick grey clouds. It was a beautiful contrast to the dirt and snow all around you.
The fort Marley decided to invade was far up north, a long distance from Liberio. There was much more snow than you’ve ever seen. But the cold air felt pleasant and you liked the tiny snowflakes almost continuously falling from the sky. They served you as a great distraction until Porco finally came back.
„I found one of the medics, he was busy helping the soldier around him. And the other one is dead. But I couldn’t find his bag anywhere, somebody must have already taken it.“ You nodded, trying not to panic while seeing the look on his face. You’ve never seen him this scared. Not because of you and not because of anything else. „But he gave something you could use.“
„Great,“ you breathed, lifting your head up a little, to see better. „You’re gonna help me, okay?“
„Me? How?“
„I’ll tell you in a minute.“ You slowly pulled your hands away from your side and with Porco’s help undone your uniform jacket, and pulled up your shirt underneath. Your ribs were covered in many bruises, the area closest to the wound sticky with slowly drying blood. „Okay, did he give you anything for disinfecting the wound?“
„Yeah, some alcohol.“
„Great, that’s perfect.“ Cleaning the wound was the easiest part, even though the pain almost made you scream out at the top of your lungs. But Porco seemed far more traumatized by everything you were doing. Watching you inject the local anesthetic to ease the pain made him look away. „Stop flinching, the worst part is yet to come,“ you murmured, looking at the streaks of blood flowing down your side and stomach. „Help me sit up a bit better.“
He was careful, touching you like you were made of glass, but every little movement still caused you tremendous pain. And all you could do was breathe through it and bite into your bottom lip to avoid screaming again. Porco helped you lean against the frozen dirt wall of the trench and knelt beside you.
„Okay... okay...“ Catching your breath seemed impossible for a short while. But when you finally calmed down and started thinking rationally again, you realized your hands were shaking. It was probably from the cold. Or maybe the blood loss. Or exhaustion. Or all of them combined. „Now I need your help.“
Porco nodded, taking one deep steadying breath. „What do I do?“
„You’ll have to guide my hand, it’s shaking too much and I can’t see the wound really well.“
„That doesn’t sound like the best plan, so don’t get your hopes up.“
You smiled, pulling your hand away from your side again. Suturing was a skill that took a considerable amount of practice. You knew that. The practice you had was only enough for real emergency situations such as this one. The stitches didn’t need to look pretty. Later a real doctor will correct them either way.
„We can do it, just listen to me,“ you said, looking into his horror-filled face. It wasn’t the blood or the wound itself that scared him. It was the fact, that your life was in danger, and getting proper help was almost impossible. There was no guarantee, that the military was coming back for you. And the enemy could strike again at any given moment. „Don’t panic, it really isn’t that serious. We both have seen worse things.“
„We did, but this is pretty disgusting if you ask me. How do you even know these things?“
„My aunt taught me. And you should know something like this too, it’s a useful skill.“
„Whatever,“ Porco muttered, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. His body faltered a bit, but he used his other hand for support before losing his balance.
„Are you okay?“ you asked worriedly, reaching out to him. „Does your head hurt?“
He nodded, just a second before he turned around and threw up. His whole body was visibly shaking, while he tried to catch his breath again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. „I don’t feel good, Y/N. What’s happening?“
„It’s probably a concussion, you hit your head pretty hard.“
„Yeah.“ He left his head bowed down for a short while, trying to blink away another wave of dizziness and growing nausea. „Whatever, I’m fine,“ he said with still-closed eyes, turning back to you just a second later. You could see the determination on his face. He knew there wasn’t anybody else to help you. It had to be him. „What am I supposed to do?“
You looked him over with a worried expression. He wasn’t okay, he didn’t even have the strength to pretend anymore. But there was no time to waste. If you wanted to live, you had to act fast.
„Grab my hand and guide it to one end of the wound,“ you said in the calmest voice possible. Everything was going to be fine. All you needed to do was calm down and concentrate. „Be gentle but vigorous, okay? We have to do this fast.“
„Yeah, okay... okay...“
Porco’s hand was suddenly trembling even more than yours, but somehow he managed to do exactly what you needed. He was talking in a hushed voice, navigating your every move verbally as well. Suturing the top part of the wound was the hardest since you couldn’t see in properly. But after some failed attempts and with Porco’s help, you somehow managed to close it off, stopping the bleeding almost completely. The stitches were far from perfect, little streaks of blood were seeping through in some places, but it did the job.
The local anesthetic helped you not feel a single thing. All you concentrated on, was your lover's cold fingers on your skin, gently holding your hand and helping you save your life. Working without proper equipment and not in a clean or quiet environment made everything much harder, than when you practiced at home. You wished your aunt could be there at that moment, to tell you what exactly to do, or just to assure you, that you’re doing good enough.
„Are you okay?“ you asked Porco when he helped you secure the bandage on your side. His hands were shaking even more visibly now.
„Yeah, fine. It’s just... disgusting and...“ It seemed unusually hard for him to form a proper easy sentence. That made you worry even more. Nothing should have happened to him. Not him. Everyone else could die, you wouldn’t care unless he was alive and well. „Do you have to suture the wound on your thigh as well?“
„I should, yeah. It’s not bleeding that much right now, but...“
You never had the chance to finish your sentence. Not, when you noticed shouts from enemy soldiers nearby, followed by the sounds of shooting and killing. You looked at Porco with sheer panic in your eyes. If they find you, it’s over. They’ll kill you both without mercy.
„Lay down!“ Porco ordered, helping you get onto the ground. „Try not to scream, please.“ He didn’t give you a chance to even fully understand his words when he turned you over – on your side and then on your stomach. Both wounds on your overall aching body protested with a massive explosion of pain, that almost made you cry out in agony. „Just close your eyes and don’t move under any circumstance, okay?“
„What about you?“ you asked, while the gruesome sounds of other Eldian soldiers being murdered were getting closed and louder.
„I’ll be right here,“ he assured you, looking around frantically.
Playing dead was seemingly the smartest thing to do. Even more, when Porco dragged one of the already deceased soldier’s body closer and carelessly threw it over you. As if that was the way both of you found your end.
„Don’t dare to make a sound!“ he hissed at you, just as he lay down close enough to reach your hand, while he flipped another dead soldier horizontally over his own body.
„I love you,“ was the last thing you whispered to him before you had to close your eyes to stop the tears from running down your cheeks. You could hardly catch your breath when the footsteps of the enemy got even closer.
You could feel Porco’s hand close to yours, but he didn’t dare to actually touch you. And you didn’t either. All you could was try to control your breathing and slow down your almost painfully pounding heart. Overwhelming waves of panic and fear kept coming and going, as the enemy finally made its way to the place you and Porco were laying. You held your breath and bit into your tongue when one of them carelessly kicked your leg. Since it was already almost dark, the soldiers carried flashlights to make their search for survivors easier.
They were talking in some foreign language, so you couldn’t understand a thing, but their nasty laughs were enough and the actual tone of their voice was enough. All the death they saw around them pleased them. Well, why wouldn’t it? They did their duty and protected the fort Marley decided to attack. You didn’t even know the exact reason. Nobody cared to tell you, they all just expected to act on command and never ask questions.
Not even when your own life was at stake.
You didn’t dare to open your eyes for a long time after the last sounds of shooting got quiet. The freezing ground under you finally stopped shaking from the weight of soldiers walking around. It felt like hours have passed until you finally found enough courage to slowly lift your eyelids and look around. One side of your brain waited for an armed soldier standing right above you, pointing his gun at your head and waiting for you to reveal your cover. But there was nobody there.
„Porco?“
„Stay down, don’t move. We should wait some more,“ he whispered, looking at you with tired eyes. His face looked even paler than before, especially in comparison with the dried blood. Or at least it appeared like that, you couldn’t see very well in the slowly thickening darkness around you. The only source of light was the moon, elegantly making its way across the dark sky above your head. „Are you in a lot of pain?“
„I’ll manage.“
The pain was coming and going, you didn't really feel it because of the adrenalin still vigorously floating around your whole body. The cold was starting to bother you more. You could barely feel your hands anymore, and your whole body was shivering more and more with every passing second.
„They’re coming back for us, right?“ you suddenly asked Porco without even thinking about the real meaning of your words. Did you mean the enemy? Or the Marleyans?
It took Porco only a short while, before he carefully reached for your hand, brushing his ice-cold fingers against your skin. „We’re not dying here.“
„We’re not dying here,“ you repeated after him, squeezing his hand a little harder.
Were you two the only ones left alive? From so many soldiers all around? It was possible. But even if not, you had only each other to lean on now. And you were determined to do everything possible, to keep Porco and yourself alive long enough, to return home. You had people back in Liberiu waiting for your return. Family and friends.
And you both gave the other Warriors your words, that you’ll wait for their return from Paradis. Even if you only knew Pieck and Zeke, since the others left before you and Porco met, you couldn’t wait to meet his brother and the other three heroes set amongst the island devils. Porco told you a lot about them all. Sometimes you felt like you knew them for many years, even if you never met them in person.
It felt like another eternity went by until Porco finally moved and climbed out from under the dead soldier. He was moving slowly and carefully, apparently quite dizzy. „Can you move?“ he asked worriedly, rolling the other soldier's body from yours. The sound you heard when it hit the ground made you sick. „What about your injuries? Are you in pain?“
„I’m fine.“ You weren’t fine, but there was no point in saying that out loud. There was nothing he could do to help you now. All there was to do, was wait for the Marleyans.
Or for death.
„How’s your head?“ you asked him, reaching out your hand and brushing your fingers alongside his cheek. Not seeing his face very clearly was for the best. This was you only had to imagine all the pain, fear, and exhaustion that was written all over it.
„It hurts a bit.“
„You should lay down. It’s not like we can do anything now.“
„I’m going to,“ he assured you, helping you sit up. The effects of the local anesthetic were long gone, your whole left side felt like it was on fire or as if somebody was repeatedly stabbing you. Your whole leg hurt as well, but it wasn’t as bad. „I just want to hold you. We need to stay warm. It’s a long time until morning.“
„That’s the only reason you want to hold me?“ you teased him, frowning a bit when Porco took the coat from one of the soldiers and tossed it around your shoulders. Just your own clothes weren’t going to be enough.
„Right now, that’s the main reason. But there are others as well.“ His tiny smirk made your heart swell up with hope. He was still trying to be the typical Porco Galliard you fell in love with more than a year ago. He was an idiot most of the time, but he was your idiot. You wouldn’t trade him for anything in the whole wide world. „I don’t think they’ll return until morning. If they return.“
„They will!“ you reassured him, taking the other coat he was giving you. Its entire back was covered in dried blood. But it was warm and that was the most important thing.
„Do you know any good stories? We shouldn’t really fall asleep.“
„Not really, but I can make up a one or two.“
„I remember some old fairytales my mom used to read to me and Marcel when we were little.“ You smiled softly, while Porco took two other coats for himself, finally settling down next to you.
He leaned his back against the trench wall, half sitting and half laying down to ease his dizziness. With painful tears you moved closer, pressing your body up against his. With one coat undernet you and the other covering you like a blanket, you rested your head on Porco’s chest, arms tightly wrapped around his body.
„Do you think they would notice if we lit a tiny fire? Just to warm our hands or...“
„We can’t risk that,“ Porco answered before you were able to finish the sentence, wrapping his arms around you. He was really careful not to hurt you in any way, even on accident. „Somebody may still be lurking around.“
„We shouldn’t talk then.“
„We shouldn’t, but we’ll go crazy if we stay quiet until the morning.“
He was right. When all you could hear was the eerie quiet, all the death and destruction seemed even closer. It was like Death itself looking over your shoulder, waiting for the right moment to slice its scythe through your body.
„So... tell me one of those fairytales,“ you suggested, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. When your lips made contact with his icy skin, even more, intense shivers ran down your back. „I’d like one with a happy ending.“
„They all have a happy ending. That’s all kids are supposed to know... happiness and peace.“
You smiled a little, closing your eyes for a short while. Porco stayed quiet for a while, maybe thinking about something, while his hand was running up and down your back, trying to warm you up a bit and keep you calm. What made you open your eyes again, was a feeling of tiny snowflaked landing on your face.
„I’ve never seen this much snow. Nature is really pretty up here,“ you said, wiping them away from your cheeks. „All those pine forests, the mountains around us, and the snow itself... I’d like to live in a place like this one day.“
„Does living in this nasty cold really sound that exciting to you?“
„Yeah, it’s peaceful.“
Keeping your eyes open was getting harder and harder. Even more, after Porco really started telling the old fairytales. You could tell he didn’t remember all the details, but he quickly made something up, creating a whole new story in the process. But it was fun, he kept your mind occupied for some time. You really couldn’t remember the last time somebody was telling you a story about adorable little animals and magical beings in the depths of an enchanted forest. Surely nobody ever did it like Porco Galliard, who didn’t hesitate to add some snarky little comments when something seemed stupid to him. Even though it was a kid's tale, and its purpose was to sound childish and sometimes even a little silly.
„Are you still listening?“ Porco asked after a while, looking down at you settled in his arms. You were listening, even if his words slowly started to sound miles away. „Hey, Y/N! Don’t close your eyes, we can’t fall asleep!“ His lips made contact with your cheek, while he run his shaking fingers through your hair. „Look at me, please.“
You did your best, but lifting your eyelids was almost impossible. It was still snowing, and some of the snowflakes were landing right on your eyelashes. „I’m listening to you, just can’t keep my eyes open anymore. I’m really tired.“
„I know, but you have to stay awake.“
„Can I take a short nap? For a couple of minutes?“ He shook his head, kissing your forehead while pushing strands of hair behind your ear.
„Keep your eyes on me, okay? We’re gonna talk about something, anything really. Tell me about all the stupid girly things I don’t give a damn about, but you love doing so much.“
You smiled a little, swallowing hard. „Like my favorite nail polish, I used to wear every day before joining the military? Or the ways I love to style my hair?“
„Yeah, precisely.“
„Every mission requires a different one. You know... to change things up a little.“
His quiet laugh gave you some very-needed strength. You had to hold on. For yourself, but mainly for Porco. He needed you. Playing a tough guy came naturally to him, that’s why not many people approached him. But you knew better. You knew the true Porco Galliard, who needed support just like everyone else. He just wasn’t the type to ask for it. It had to be you, who reached out to him and waited patiently until he accepted your help.
It wasn’t love at first sight between the two of you. You needed time to get to know each other, then falling in love somehow came naturally. With every interaction you had with him, with every little gesture and every mission, he underwent with the rest of the military. It was dangerous, of course. But Commander Magath, the main leader of the Warrior Unit, saw it as a good chance for Porco to prove his loyalty and eagerness to inherit one of the Titans a few years later.
He was still fired up about not getting the Armored Titan, even after giving his everything during every single training. But it seemed that since he got to know you, he calmed down a bit. Maybe even enjoyed the fact, that he wasn’t at Paradis right now.
Surely, he missed hir brother and worried about him, because the mission was taking them way too long. Even Marley got concerned and almost a month ago sent the Beast and the Cart Titan after them. That’s why this mission surprised you so much. You never expected the military to engage in combat without any of the Titans.
„And what is your favorite?“
„Hairstyle?“
„Yeah. Do you have one?“
„No, not really,“ you shrugged, cuddling up to him even further. „I never liked my hair. All of those hairstyles are just supposed to keep it out of my face.“ It’s not like you hated your hair, but it always had a mind of its own.
„I like your hair. Mostly when I get to play with it while we cuddle,“ he smiled again lovingly, trying to keep the concern in his tone under control. „When we’re in my room, in the warm bed, under even warmer covers. Drinking hot tea or chocolate. Or that disgustingly sugary coffee you like.“
„You only tried it once and didn’t even drink the whole thing.“
„I’ll try again when we get home, okay?“
You nodded, unwillingly closing your eyes again. Porco almost immediately nudged you a little, commanding you to open your eyes. He wanted you to talk more, about anything. But even opening your mouth and moving your tongue was becoming too much.
Everything was becoming too much. The cold. The blood loss. The overall tiredness.
„You promised not to leave me, remember?“ Porco asked more urgently, rubbing your back under the coats you used to cover yourselves. You could feel him shivering as well, but it seemed that he endured the cold better than you. „Hold on, we’re going home soon, I promise.“
„I love you.“
„I love you too, angel. But you can’t fall asleep, do you understand? You can’t.“
Your hands and feet felt completely numb, almost as if they weren’t part of your body anymore. Even your airways and lungs hurt from the constant freezing air all around. Everything was becoming blurry and confusing, reality slowly withdrawing from your reach.
„Wake me up after... twenty... twenty minutes.“
„How the hell am I supposed to know when twenty minutes pass?“
You smiled for yourself, gripping the fabric of his uniform. „Count. It will... keep you... busy.“
Porco answered something, but you couldn’t make out his words anymore. Not when tiredness took over you and you simply weren’t able to open your eyes anymore. In his arms, you felt safe and loved. You could fall asleep very easily. Too easily, which wasn’t good.
You knew staying awake was crucial for survival. At least your mind knew it. But your exhausted body wanted something different. Some proper rest, even if for a couple of minutes. Morning would come faster if you sleep for a bit. And the pain would disappear as well.
Everything would be so much easier.
„I shouldn’t allow you, but... okay, sleep for a bit.“
„Thanks,“ you muttered almost inaudibly. „I’ll... wake up... promise.“
Despite your reassurance, you had no control over what would happen. And soon you didn’t even know anything about your surroundings. You didn’t know if Porco actually tried to wake you up and failed. If so, he probably freaked out, blaming himself for letting you fall asleep.
You promised not to leave him.
And until today, you always did your best to keep your promise.
Loosin you would break him beyond repair. Even more, because he couldn’t be sure if Marcel was alive and coming back home. Same for his friends, all of the other Warriors left, only he stayed behind. You were the only one he had left. The only person that kept him going, when he saw no point in trying over and over again.
„Porco?“ you addressed him, your voice hoarse because of the cold air. „You didn’t... wake me up.“
Were you really awake? Or was this just a dream? Everything seemed so distant and unreal. Mostly the sky above your head. It was... green. Not entirely, just a couple of long swirling lights shining brighter than the moon. They were unbelievably beautiful, like something out of this world. Like something straight out of one of the fairytales Porco was telling you just a short while ago.
„Am I hallucinating?“ You tried to prop yourself up a bit better to be closer to the sky. All you wanted to do at that moment was reach for the lights and let them caress your freezing skin. For some reason, it felt as if they would be pleasantly warm. „Porco? Do you see that too?“
Even if it was just a dream, it was surely the most beautiful dream you’ve ever had. Seeing something so magical, while all that surrounded you was death, seemed like a miracle no one would believe you witnessed with your own eyes.
„Porco?“
Why wasn’t he responding? Did he not see probably the most stunning thing in this world? It was hard to tear your gaze away from the lights. Just then you remembered hearing about something like this. The northern lights, yes. Your dad had a pretty thick book about many natural phenomena all around the world, and the northern lights were one of them. In that book, they were also called the Aurora borealis.
No picture ever would accurately depict the true beauty of that rich green illuminating everything below. You could cry right on that spot, that’s how beautiful the lights were.
„Porco...“ you said your boyfriend’s name one more time, before finally looking right at him. His head was resting against the trench wall, while his arms were limply holding you against his body. That’s when you realized his eyes were closed and he probably didn’t hear anything you said. „Hey... wake up.“
You gently rubbed his chest, pressing your lips to his cheek. He loved when you woke him up with a sweet kiss in the morning or after taking a nap together. And you loved the tiniest smile on his lips, while his eyes were still heavy with sleep.
„Please... Porco, wake up. It’s been more than twenty minutes.“
You tried to gently shake him awake, but he didn’t respond. His eyes didn’t open at the sound of your voice. Hell, his whole body felt cold as ice, while he was barely even breathing.
„Porco... I promised... promised to never leave you, but... you can’t leave me either.“ Your frozen fingers gently brushed a few disheveled strands of loose hair from his face. „I need you.“
What were you supposed to do? You could barely move yourself, all the strength had already left your body. There was no way you could save anybody. Not yourself, and not the boy you loved so openly and so sincerely.
„You promised me we’ll go back home and drink my... disgustingly sugary coffee.“
Tears slowly started to collect in your eyes. But you simply didn’t have enough energy to even let them fall onto your cheeks. Your head collapsed back onto his chest, your eyes closing almost immediately. Not even the pretty swirling lights above your head could keep you awake. Not anymore.
The cold was slowly trying to lull you back into the darkness, while your heart was breaking into million pieces. Both of you were dying and there was no way of getting help. If you screamed, nobody would hear you or answer you. All the people around you were long gone or on the other side of this entire conflict.
„Stay with me...“ you mumbled to Porco, focusing on his barely audible heartbeat. „Just hold on. Just a... minute longer. Marley is... coming... back for us.“
You didn’t even believe your own words. If they wanted to, they would have come back already. But why would they? The lives of ordinary Eldians never mattered to them.
Not yours.
Not even Porco’s.
You could feel your consciousness slipping away, knowing your life will be ending right there very soon. All it took was falling asleep again. A few more dreams, maybe. Or nightmares about your inability to save someone you loved more than your own life.
That’s why you kept fighting sleep over and over again, while quietly begging Porco to wake up.
The northern lights kept dancing high above your head, bringing at least some peace to your shattered soul. Tears finally rolled down your cheeks, just a second before you heard a familiar noise. It was coming from somewhere...
From the sky.
You once again raised your head, searching the night sky with teary eyes. For a minute, the bright green lights were the only things you could register. Only then the dark silhouette of the familiar white airship appeared. You could barely catch your breath from the sudden rush of hope and excitement.
„They came back,“ you breathed, looking at Porco again and kissing his forehead. „They came back, love. Just hold on. Please just... stay with me. Stay with me.“ Trying to move and do something suddenly seemed so easy. The unexpected wave of adrenaline rushing through your veins again made you think up a simple plan in the blink of an eye.
All of you carried a little flare gun on you at all times. You still had yours, while Porco had his. Right in the little black pouch attached to your uniform, usually also carrying spare ammo. Shooting it to announce your location could possibly notify the enemy. But without doing it the soldiers on the airship would never find you in time.
It was the only way.
The very last thing you were able to do, prior to everything going dark before your eyes once again.
*
Leaving a perfectly warm bed during cold mornings was one of the worst things imaginable. That’s why you were glad, that there was nothing to do and nowhere to go. Staying in bed was the only acceptable thing for the whole day ahead of you.
„I have your disgustingly sugary coffee,“ said Porco with a teasing grin on his lips. He gently kicked the door closed behind him, hands full with two white mugs. „I’m doing this just because I promised you. And only this one time.“
You rolled his eyes at him, carefully rolling onto your back. The gunshot wounds on your side and thigh were healing quite nicely. It had only been three days, but you felt a lot better already. And if nothing else, you had at least a month off your military duties.
Experiencing a morning like this was something close to a miracle. You had no idea, how you got back to your hometown. When you woke up for a short while, the airship was already landing in Liberio. Soldiers and medics were all around you, doing everything in their power to keep you, Porco, and ten other wounded Eldian soldiers alive. Only the twelve of you made it back home. None other. Even though almost two hundred soldiers were present in that damned trench.
After a few hours, you woke up in a warm hospital room. The bullets were finally out from your body, the sutures corrected, and the wounds closed and bandaged up. After a blood transfusion, good sleep in a warm bed, and some pain meds, you could slowly start to let go of all that happened during that day.
„Did you sleep well?“ he asked, sitting down on your side of the bed.
„Yeah, wonderfully,“ you assured him, taking one of the mugs. „Thanks to you, of course,“ you added sweetly, kissing him as soon, as he leaned closer, putting his own mug onto the nightstand.
„Sleeping in my bed is always a good idea.“
„It’s not about the bed, but about the company beside me.“ You saw he wanted another kiss, which you didn’t want to deny him. Not after everything. Not after almost losing him. „I love you so much, Porco.“
He smiled, brushing his lips against yours once more. „I figured that out after you saved my life. That was really sexy of you,“ he teased you, rubbing his nose against yours.
„And not freezing to death was really sexy of you.“
When you woke up in the hospital, he was already sitting beside your bed, holding your hand tightly. The doctor told you, that Porco was there almost from the moment he regained consciousness. He demanded to see you and make sure you were okay, even though he was still hurting and confused as well since he really did have a concussion. He even almost got into a fight with your parents, when they came to see you and wanted to spend some moments alone with you since he simply refused to leave your side.
No wonder he was more than pleased when you spent your first night out of the hospital over at his house. His parents welcomed both of you with so much love and gratitude. Everybody was well aware, that this mission was a close call for you both. If the airship came just twenty minutes later, you probably wouldn’t be able to shoot the flaregun and notify them.
„It’s a shame you didn’t see them,“ you said, when Porco climbed back to the bed beside you, almost immediately wrapping you in a tight hug.
„Who?“
„The northern lights, they were absolutely stunning. Like I can hardly describe them with words, they were just... probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.“
You still weren’t quite sure, if they were really there. You never asked anyone about them. Who knows, maybe they were just a little fraction of your own imagination, that was needed at that moment for the both of you to survive. Maybe it was just your brain's last attempt in saving itself.
„The whole sky was shining in green swirling lights. It felt like out of a fairytale.“
„Well, you didn’t wake me up to look at them,“ he mocked you, planting a soft kiss on top of your head.
„Sorry, you seemed too busy dying. Maybe next time,“ you answered sarcastically, pinching his cheek and meeting his lips in a quick kiss. „We should return up north one day. Just to look at them throughout the whole night. I’m sure you’ll be mesmerized.“
Porco smiled, pulling you even closer to his chest. It felt so good, even better than ever before. You promised yourself to cherish similar moments with him even more from now on. None of you knew when the last day of your life would come. But until then, you could try your best and enjoy all that it had to offer. Most importantly the love, that you found in one another and which kept you going through everything.