Work Text:
“-And don’t forget to take your medicine before sleeping, alright?” Lucas softly advised as he swiftly spun on his heel to face an amused Amicia, who was watching him like a hawk with her arms folded close to her chest. Lucas gestured with a wave of his hand towards the many vials of elixirs, which were carefully organised and stacked together in a neat pile on the table ready for her, tightly secured by corks.
Lucas had prepared the elixirs especially for Amicia, the exact way he’d always done each evening over the past year. It had become a natural and daily routine for him. The elixirs evidently helped Amicia's repeated and distressing nightmares that had occurred nightly since Hugo’s death. Before Lucas had discovered the particular recipe, Amicia would lay wide awake throughout the dark hours of the night, staring at the ceiling for hours on end. She would hardly earn any rest, and yet when she did, she’d weep and call out for Lucas in her sleep, who would be by her side in less than a moment. She was haunted by her demons night and day. Lucas just wished he could create the impossible: a potion to make them vanish completely.
Thankfully, the elixirs had been a good solution in aiding Amicia to calmer waters and a more balanced state of emotional stability. Therefore, she’d been calmer and rested better through the night. Of course, they were not able to miraculously dissolve the nightmares completely or wipe the trauma from the events of Marseille like Lucas so desperately desired for her. However, to his relief, he'd witnessed an improvement within the girl. She seemed more at peace with herself rather than at war. She was slowly getting there, to a desired place of tranquility and healing. She just needed more time before she could get back out into the real world again. Meanwhile, the house had been a great advantage for them. Not just because it provided a safe and warm shelter for the pair, but for the fact that it had been the perfect place for Amicia to rest and recuperate. The mountains were quiet and isolated, a peaceful location away from the bumbling city.
“I’ve left instructions for when you’re out of elixirs, just in case you forget how to prepare the concoction.” Lucas pointed with a large index finger at his handwritten note he’d folded neatly in half and left on the table beside the vials.
“Thank you Lucas… I'm sure I'll be quite fine. You taught me well, magister.” Amicia grinned teasingly. After all, she’d spent quite some time watching him prepare the elixirs herself. “Like mother, like daughter, I believe you once told me?”
Before her murder by the hands of the countess, Amicia’s mother Beatrice was an alchemist and had taken Lucas in as one of her own. She had become a magistra to him.
“…Yes.” Lucas’s bright ocean eyes locked with her own somber yet beautiful greys for a moment, as they both silently mourned over the loss.
“Did… did I do that?! Did I really just do alchemy?!” Amicia had cried with excitement as she’d created fire with an ignifer for the very first time on the day she’d crossed paths with Lucas.
“Yes! Your mixture was perfect! Like mother, like daughter… You know what? I’ll show you how to make other projectiles. It’ll be really useful.” Lucas grinned.
Lucas had been impressed with Amicia’s natural alchemical abilities, and she’d learned a lot from him since then.
Amicia believed she was quite certain that she’d witnessed Lucas gulp as his pale cheeks tinted a light and fresh pink, but she couldn’t really be one hundred percent sure. He'd turned away too quickly, his dark and floppy fringe covering his left eye and his facial expression completely unreadable. He’d focused his attention back to his last minute packing that had him bouncing around the house. In that moment, Amicia could only imagine Lucas as a little pixie, gracefully performing a dance routine around the room - albeit his clumsy stumbling as he dashed around, doing last minute rounds. Amicia strived to stifle a giggle with her palm as she observed him, clearly amused. It didn’t help, the serious expression that Lucas unknowingly possessed on his face. His mouth was pressed in a firm grimace as he focused on his priorities.
Lucas rapidly assembled his alchemical materials, resources and books from the wooden shelf in the corner of the room that had transformed into his own study shelf during his stay. He’d made himself right at home during their time living together. The books neatly stacked together on the shelf visually reminded Amicia of all of the books of alchemy he'd collected during their time taking shelter at the Château d'Ombrage.
At the Château d'Ombrage, Lucas had collected as many books as he could find on alchemy to help with reducing the symptoms of the Macula for Hugo and delaying the thresholds. During their stay, he’d visibly stored them to rest on a shelf in the laboratory, stacked neatly besides one another. He would read and study them daily. In fact, the majority of books he’d collected were still there now, left behind on that very shelf. Amicia was curious to know how they were faring and if anyone else had come across them on their own journeys. It was indeed a mystery.
Since then, Lucas had not once stopped collecting books. It was his passion, after all. It was no wonder he was so full of wisdom, possessing the intelligence he had for a boy of his age with the amount of studying he did. It was one of the many things Amicia admired about him.
Amicia strolled casually towards Lucas, joining his right profile by the shelf. "Here, let me help you?” Amicia offered, lifting a light weighted book and examining the blank cover before flicking through the pages carefully. Of course, It was only another alchemy book. It wouldn’t be of any personal use to her. Not now, anyway. Especially now she had nothing left to fight for and no soldiers to eliminate. “I don't think you'll be able to carry all of these, Lucas."
"No, of course not. I'll leave them here. I trust you'll take great care of them for me whilst I’m away?” Lucas gazed directly at her with a warm smile as he grew closer, blue eyes large and twinkling like a thousand stars. Amicia held her breath for a moment. He wasn’t the short boy he used to be. He was near enough her height now, so he didn’t need to look up at her any longer. It was quite intimidating knowing he could grow taller than her any time soon.
It is a shame that I won’t be there to see it… Amicia thought bitterly to herself.
"Hmmm… I don't know... I might have to take a trip down to the market and sell them." Amicia teased with a wicked smirk upon her lips. Hastily, she took a step back from Lucas with a nervous swallow, hoping he didn’t notice her underlying solemness.
"Of course..." Lucas snorted with a shake of his head. To Amicia's satisfaction, his lips turned up into a hint of a small and coy smile, even though he’d turned his head down to the ground and away from her, as if believing himself to be out of sight from her prying eyes.
Amicia glanced back to the now wooden bare shelf which only held the last few books Lucas had decided to leave behind. Her wide smile immediately dropped. In that moment, the shelf had never appeared so empty and lifeless since before they’d moved in that day a year ago. It was like a great chunk of energy containing Lucas’s presence had been removed physically and thrown out the door before he’d even had the chance to leave.
Amicia gently traced the shelf with her fingertips as trails of dust settled upon them. She blew her fingers and watched as the dust soared effortlessly to the ground. Lucas was busily packing his books away in his brown, leather bag, but he’d suddenly stopped, almost freezing on the spot, his back rigid as if he’d sensed her melancholy. He glanced up at Amicia with a raised brow of concern.
“What’s wrong?” He asked. His voice was as soft as a feather and serene as always.
One of Lucas’s many talents was his ability to see straight through Amicia, just like when placing a hand through clear water. It was almost like Lucas was a sword that could pierce straight into Amicia’s soul, to the deepest and darkest depths of her mind and emotions. Sometimes, it felt a little unnerving how he seemed to sense the smallest of changes within her. She could blame it on his undeniable intelligence, but deep down, she felt like they shared an unexplainable connection, as though they were tied to one another energetically. She often questioned the possibilities, but had never voiced her thoughts to Lucas himself. He may not have felt the same way. And she wasn’t about to embarrass herself now.
”Oh, it’s nothing…” Amicia waved off Lucas’s concerns. Her knee-high leather boots had suddenly become extremely interesting to look at, like she didn’t wear them everyday. She inhaled, throwing what she hoped was a wide reassuring grin Lucas’s way, cheeks aching from the great force of the effort it took to do so. She hoped it didn't come across as a grimace from his own eyes.
“Hey. It’s going to be alright.” Lucas soothed, his large and warm palm that had always somehow been larger than her own rested on her petite shoulder. He gazed at her with the most utter sincerity.
No, she refused to be hypnotised by his large and endearing puppy eyes. The eyes of the ocean, the most steady, stable waves that dissolved and subdued her storms. The eyes that always seemed to magically calmed her down, taming the lion when she was in an a state of rage. But this time, it was nothing of the sort. Any other time, she’d be comforted by this gesture. Now Lucas was leaving, it just bought a large pit of despair in her stomach, because she knew he wouldn’t be there to comfort her in future the same way he’d always had. And no-one else could replace that. Amicia blinked rapidly, desperate to prevent her own tears from escaping. She could only briefly flicker a small glance towards Lucas before she found them lingering to the ground again.
She’d be… alone… No. He’ll be back… one day. Besides, Sophia said she would be coming to visit her soon. She promised.
Amicia refused to cry in front of Lucas again, especially when he was just about to leave and embark on a new journey. This was important for him, his future. This was his chance to become the alchemist he’d always dreamed of. She needed to stay strong. She couldn’t be selfish. He needed this. It was time.
“Amicia…” Lucas’s voice grounded her, pulling her out of the darkness.
“I know.” Amicia swallowed, forcing the bravest smile she could muster.
Don’t ruin this opportunity for him, Amicia. This isn’t about you. You need to let him go.
Lucas, however, appeared hesitant and could only nod in response. Slowly, he retreated his hand with a light and reassuring tap on her shoulder with his fingertips. He’d turned so his back was instantly to her. Amicia’s shoulder instantly grew cold from the loss of his warmth. She suppressed a deep sigh from escaping her lips because she knew they would only further increase his suspicions.
She would deeply miss having someone around to keep her company. Well, she’d miss having Lucas around, for that matter. She'd grown used to his comforting presence - his soft and angelic energy that enveloped her form like wings when she desperately needed someone to lean on.
She'd miss the way Lucas would sit and read for hours by the window, gazing with awe at the beautiful sunset in the evenings, in complete and utter bliss as though it was for the very first time. He’d never grown tired of it in the duration of his stay at the house.
It was no secret Lucas hardly attempted to sleep at night, too busy swept up in his work. Amicia had learned this about his sleeping patterns from their time at the Château d'Ombrage together. Instead of sleeping, Lucas would spend all of his time in the laboratory preparing potions, which was essentially what he’d continued doing despite the end of the plague.
Amicia would miss the noisy bubbling, crackling and popping of Lucas preparing his infamous potions in the room next to hers late into the night. She’d never admit to the boy that she’d secretly lay awake listening to to the sounds when she couldn’t sleep. Although it sometimes felt like it drove her to madness when it kept her wide awake, it had become a sort of comforting ambience, reminding her that she wasn’t alone. Now, this would be no more. Amicia dreaded the upcoming unbearable silence that would be replaced in the house instead of the noisy bubbling of potions throughout the nights to come. Instantly, her heart dropped into her stomach with a rippling unexplainable ache, an invisible wound she couldn’t even wrap a bandage over.
She’d miss the way Lucas would let her snuggle into his warm chest when she had a nightmare. Especially the one night that she would never forget: Lucas had woken Amicia up from screaming and crying out in her sleep. He was very shy and blushing bright scarlett as she’s pulled him into the bed with her, with innocent intentions, hysterical and vulnerable. In that state, she didn’t even think twice about her actions or consequences. She’d buried her head into his chest, clinging to his form tightly. He’d stroked her back, ever so gently with his large palms that radiated healing energy that consumed her form, slowly but surely fixing all her missing pieces, putting her back together. He’d whisper soothing and soft words like “You’re alright, I’m here now,” until she fell into a deep slumber in the safety of his protective arms. However, the next morning after, Amicia had awoken to an empty bed. Instead, she’d found Lucas studying, heavily focused on brewing a potion in the next room. She’d wondered if that night had only been a fever dream, or if she was losing her mind. She was too afraid to ask and make a fool out of herself in front of the boy, even though she knew he would never judge her.
To conclude her deductions, she would just miss him.
“Right, there should be enough food around to last you for the week.” Lucas's sudden voice pulled her from her dreamy haze of reminiscence. She’d found him searching through the high cabinets in the kitchen, hands roaming around wildly at the fruit and vegetables they’d collected from the market from their most recent trip into town.
“Lucas… have you already forgotten who the master hunter is here?” Amicia chuckled, a spark of mischief in her eyes as she straightened her posture and folded her arms. She leaned against the wall of the kitchen with one leg crossed over the other in a playful manner.
“How could I forget?” Lucas replied, nibbling his top lip. “Just… be careful, alright? You know I won’t be here to patch up your wounds if you’re hurt…”
“Yes, father. I understand.” Amicia rolled her eyes, releasing a noisy and melodramatic sigh. Lucas raised a brow at her as though disciplining a child. He shook his head, muttering under his breath words that were incoherent to Amicia’s own ears. She raised her hands up in mock surrender with a guilty grin on her face.
Lucas wordlessly brushed past Amicia as he left the kitchen to enter the living room. After a moment, Amicia sighed and followed him, finding him kneeled to the ground before the fireplace. Lucas carefully crafted an ignifer with alcohol and sulfur from the small pouch on his girdle that held small elixir bottles. He was never without them. After mixing the substances together, he aimed the mixture directly onto the embers of the logs. Wild, roaring orange flames sprung to life instantly and effortlessly.
“There.” Lucas murmured in content. “This should last you until the afternoon, at least.”
Amicia approached his side but didn’t join him on the ground. Still standing, she gently laid a palm on his right shoulder as she leaned closely to the fire. The heat engulfed and radiated upon her skin. She was grateful for the warmth due to the bitter cold of the early morning that seemed to be nipping at her skin.
“Thank you, Lucas. As much as I appreciate the help, I think I can take it from here.” She smiled.
Lucas glanced up at her from the floor, still on his knees. He shook his head, eyes scrunched closed as though awakening himself from a deep slumber. “Yes, I know… Sorry. You’re going to be alright?” He stuttered as his eyes widened, radiating genuine concern.
And it was all for her… all because of the hell she’d put him through over the past year. Because of her instability. Maybe this was for the best, after all. Maybe Lucas would be so much better off without her and her… troubles.
Seeing Lucas in this way stirred an unpleasant and dark sensation that mixed together in her stomach. It almost felt like… guilt? “Lucas, I’m fine… You don’t need to worry about me.”
“I’m always going to worry about you, Amicia.” Lucas blinked, frowning. Temporarily, his posture stiffened as though he’d said something highly inappropriate and offensive towards her. He shifted his gaze to ground and rubbed his nose, as if attempting to erase the redness that had silently yet violently crept upon his cheeks. Amicia pursed her lips together, hiding her amusement at his entertaining reaction.
There was nothing but silence for a moment, all except for the licking of the flames against the logs and the high-pitched howling wails of the wind from outside. Lucas leaped from the ground in a clearly flustered state as Amicia warmed her small hands by the fire, smiling shyly at her boots as she held in a giggle.
”Right…” Lucas muttered to himself as he gathered his bags together. He seemed to take one last glance around the room with a few twists and turns of his head like an owl.
“Are you… ready to leave?” Amicia asked before inhaling and holding her breath for a few seconds.
“As ready as I’ll ever be…” Lucas mumbled, eyes darting anywhere but Amicia’s own, still clearly embarrassed from his predicament which only amused Amicia further. She nodded silently.“Well, then…” Lucas pondered on the spot awkwardly as though unable to move. He fidgeted with the straps of his bags and swallowed, glancing at her, eyes searching her own.
Was he forgetting something? Or… was there something he wanted to say? Amicia couldn’t tell, but she knew if she didn’t do something right there and then, he would never leave the house.
“Lucas? Is something the matter?” Amicia questioned anxiously.
”No, no…” Lucas muttered with a reassuring smile, but he was nibbling away at his fingernails. “Of course not.”
Amicia sensed there was something he wasn’t telling her.
Was he afraid?
She shook the thought away. “Come on.” Amicia encouraged him softly, gesturing towards the door sweetly.
”Right…” Lucas agreed, cheeks clearly bright red in the broad daylight.
He was so cute.
With great hesitancy, Lucas ambled towards the front door. Amicia embraced the deep sinking sensation of dread in the pit of her stomach. Just seeing him from behind, as he exited the house for the final time was enough to make her heart wrench. It felt like her heart had been ripped apart into a million, tiny pieces and scattered amongst the ground before her like the confetti in La Cuna.
Come on, it’s not like he’s going to be gone forever. He’ll be back.
Amicia reached for Lucas's infamous green cloak neatly hanging by the door before he could, and passed it to him. Gratefully, he accepted with a nod of his head and a small smile. He rested his packed bags onto the ground outside of the house and onto the grass as he enveloped the cloak across his back.
With the door wide open and Lucas on the other side of it, Amicia was immediately hit with the cold chill of the breeze coming from the mountains, despite the glowing sun that near enough blinded her from the brightness and its warmth that radiated the atmosphere.
In the distance, she could visibly see the goats whom had made themselves at home, once in a while bleating in between chomping down on the fresh grass surrounding the house. It was a sound the pair had grown used to over the past year and had found comfort in.
Hugo wouldn't have liked them. They bleated far too much.
”Amicia…” Lucas cleared his throat.
“Oh! Lucas! Sorry… I just remembered… Could you wait here a moment? I have something for you." Amicia felt bad for interrupting him, but this was an urgent matter. She couldn’t let him leave without it.
Lucas froze. His mouth was left wide open, as he frowned like he was ready to object. But before he could speak, Amicia had scurried away, boots echoing through the house of the floor as her light footsteps sprinted up the stairs. There was no time to waste.
Rushing into her bedroom, Amicia removed the cream, cotton pillow from the bed. Her hands searched manically for the object, but to her frustration there was nothing there, even as she examined around the bed for what had felt like an eternity of searching.
”Lord… where is it?” Amicia cursed under her breath, sighing heavily. Instead, she kneeled to explore underneath the bed. It must have dropped down in the night somehow. “This can’t be happening, not now.” She groaned and widely extended an arm out as far as she could reach under it, fingers wiggling as they tapped against the cold stone floor. After a moment of searching, although she could not visibly see clearly, her hands met with a familiar sensation of fabric that brushed against her fingertips.
”Oh! Here you are!” Amicia triumphantly seized hold of a small velvet pouch and balanced it on her palm, examining it carefully. She brushed off any dirt or dust that had come into contact with it during its time under the bed.
”Is everything alright?” Lucas’s voice called worriedly from downstairs.
”Yes!” Amicia yelled back enthusiastically. She held onto the pouch for dear life, as though It’d suddenly grow legs and run away. Her palms were already growing sweaty.
“Do you need any help?” He asked again, unconvinced with her lack of response.
”No! I’m coming!” Amicia yelled back. She took a deep breath and gently closed her eyes. “Right, I can do this... it’s only Lucas.” She whispered, taking a moment to calm the rapid beating of her heart. She took a few deep breaths in and out, just like Lucas had taught her to do during her anxiety attacks.
Feeling more at ease, she returned downstairs to face the boy. Lucas hadn’t moved from his place in the doorway where she’d left him. The cold breeze had grown more noticeable than before and had slivered its way inside like a snake. Amicia shivered, the light hairs on her arms pricked up in response amongst the small yet visible goosebumps.
As Amicia approached Lucas, she held her head high and straightened her posture. She unclenched her enclosed fingers over her palm to reveal the pouch, sitting in place. “Ta-da!” She sang with a wide grin on her face.
“What could it be?” Lucas breathed as his eyes widened.
“It’s a gift… for you, Lucas.” Amicia suddenly grew shy. “A… parting gift.”
“Amicia, there was no need for you to do this.” Lucas near enough choked on his own words, shaking his head in clear disbelief as Amicia passed him the pouch. He hesitantly accepted the gift.
“After everything we’ve been through together? After everything you’ve done for me? How could I not?” Amicia softened.
Lucas’s ocean eyes searched her own, eyes that boar deep into her soul, as if searching for unspoken answers. They were like magnets that seemed to pulled Amicia deeper and deeper towards him like a spell. She couldn't look away.
Unfortunately, the moment was quickly destroyed. Lucas sighed with a shake of his head as he fingered the pouch on his palm. His shoulders had slumped and he bowed his head. Not in disappointment, but something else… He almost looked… ashamed?
Why? Did he not want the gift?
"Lucas, what's wrong?" Amicia was almost convinced Lucas had seized hold of the knife in her pocket and stabbed her in the back, leaving a gaping and bloody wound in her flesh. It ached, like waves of agony rippling through her stomach. His expression reminded Amicia of a sad puppy abandoned by their owner. His eyes trailed back down towards the pouch on his palm. He wasn’t going to try and give it back, was he?!
“I uh, I - I have nothing to give you in return… I’m not sure I can take this, Amicia.” Lucas bit his lip and sneaked a glance towards her, solemn.
Amicia raised her eyebrows in disbelief.
Oh. So that was what this was about?
“Lucas, I’m giving you a gift! You’ve given me enough already… This is my way of saying thank you. I know it’s not much… you deserve so much more, but it is all that I can offer you right now. So please, take it. For me.” She said firmly. “I want you to have it.”
The moment of silence that followed felt like eternity, although in reality, only a few seconds had passed. Amicia waited, watching expectantly for Lucas to react. She held her breath. It seemed to take him a few moments too long to respond, and it only made her more nervous. He swallowed and carefully observed the pouch like it was a delicate experiment or a substance that would explode on impact.
Finally, to Amicia’s relief, he nodded and grinned at her. “…Alright, if you insist. But, there was no need for that. This means… a lot to me.” Lucas said earnestly, eyes twinkling. “Thank you, Amicia.”
Amicia exhaled the breath she’d been holding as her uptight and risen shoulders fell, at last releasing the tension from the anticipation. Lucas was too busy focusing on the gift before him to notice. Gently with delicate precision, he pulled at the strings securing the pouch together in order to retrieve the package. Unexpectedly for Lucas, Amicia had gasped very loudly all of a sudden as though she was in great shock or pain. His eyes widened and his body jolted like a spark, almost as though his heart had leaped from his chest in the process. It wasn’t her intention to frighten the boy. He’d probably assumed that there were unwanted intruders trespassing their territory and someone had crept up behind him, but it was not the case.
”Wait!” Amicia shrieked as her small and petite hands impulsively enveloped around his own before he could do any further damage, preventing him from seeing inside the package. “Don’t open it here...” Amicia commanded sharply, eyes glaring at his own.
Lucas’s mouth parted slightly as if he was going to say something, but the words never came. Amicia froze and glanced down, realising their current predicament a moment too late: her small hands upon Lucas’s large ones, more noticeable now that they were intertwined. Immediately, she recoiled, snatching her hands away from his as though she’d been burned despite the freezing temperature outside. She rubbed away at her left cheek that felt like it was burning on fire, almost as if the motion would miraculously make it vanish.
“Very well.” Lucas cleared his throat and weakly smiled, pulling the strings back together to secure the package closed once again. “I’m sure I can wait."
Delicately, Lucas packed the pouch away in his bag with the utmost care like it was a treasure. After he’d done so, he straightened to face Amicia. There was an awfully painful silence as they locked eyes, smiled shyly at one another before Amicia unwillingly broke the eye contact first.
“So, this is… goodbye?” Amicia whispered sombrely, eyes on her boots.
“…For now… I’ll be back, Amicia. Although, I suppose I am unsure when that will be…”
”When you are ready.” Amicia firmly interjected. “Take as much time as you need.”
“Well… I suppose you’re right. I’ll write to you.” Lucas smiled at her reassuringly.
“Well, if you don’t I could only assume you’ve been eaten by wild boars… or rats. I won’t be there with my sling to rescue you.” Amicia nudged him, wiggling her eyebrows.
“You underestimate the power of the perfidious.” Lucas chuckled. “Well, I suppose it’s better that than to die at the hands of a ‘De Rune.” He earned an ungraceful snort from Amicia before she’d burst into a fit of giggles. Her high-pitched, bright laughter echoed through the mountains for a few moments until they eventually faded into a peaceful silence. Lucas had the widest grin on his lips, his eyes never leaving her own.
"Oh, come here..." Amicia breathed, practically leaping towards Lucas. She pulled him close to her chest in a warm embrace. She wrapped her petite arms around his skinny form, arms firmly clutching tightly to his back. Letting out a soft sigh, Amicia tucked her face into his shoulder that was unnerving at the same height as her own now. She dreaded the day he’d become taller… stronger than her.
Amicia’s eyelids fluttered close as she was hit with a familiar scent of herbs such as rosemary and lavender that lingered on him as well as the strong scent of smoke and firewood. Gently, she inhaled the scent, hoping she wasn’t coming across as too obvious. It was like she was attempting to memorise each and every undertone as if she’d never see him again.
“I’ll be back before you know it, Amicia.” Lucas’s voice was a soft and low murmur, his breath hot against her ear. His voice vibrated against her own chest and she felt a shiver run through her body, as though she was suddenly burning up from a fever or sickness.
Lord, what is happening to me?
“…I know.” Amicia hesitantly pulled away first, although it felt like magnets resisting. There was a magnetism between them, pulling her to him. Her body was famished and screaming… longing to be close to his own. The desire to be as close as possible to him burned inside of her like fire… A dangerous desire for him to stay by her side. But she she knew it was wrong, selfish. She couldn’t hold him back... “Now go, magister. The world awaits… the people need you.” Amicia swallowed, taking a step back towards the door, her legs weak and trembling like jelly all of a sudden, a reason she couldn’t seem to understand.
She dared to take one last look at Lucas. He almost looked… dazed? His eyes appeared glossy, but quickly he’d snapped himself out of it and coughed, his hand covering his mouth as though nothing had happened.
"Yes… I suppose it’s time. Goodbye, Amicia...” Lucas bent down to the ground and lifted the leather bags up effortlessly with one nod towards her and a tight smile upon his lips.
”Goodbye… Lucas.” Amicia suddenly found she was struggling to swallow normally.
Lucas shared one last glance, smiling at her before he began to amble away, towards the goats who were chomping away on the fresh green grass in the distance.
Until…
Lucas’s feet suddenly planted firmly to the ground, his back to Amicia’s. All she could see was the gentle flowing of his green cape fluttering in the light breeze, and wisps of his dark hair blowing around. Amicia held her breath, watching, waiting for Lucas to begin walking again, to walk away from this place. But he didn’t. He just stood, with his back to her, like he was observing the view in front of him. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was thinking in that very moment, nor could she imagine the expression on his face. She decided to break the silence.
“Lucas? What are you doing? You have a long journey ahead…” Amicia gulped, fiercely wiping away at the tears that had brewed in her eyes and trickled freely down her cheeks.
At the sound of Amicia’s voice, Lucas’s back grew rigid. With one careless drop of the bags onto the grass, he turned on his heel and strode towards the girl. As he approached her at the door once again, he fidgeted with his fingers, an excuse to look anywhere but Amicia’s eyes as he swallowed the invisible lump that always seemed to linger when he was around her. He couldn’t look her in the eye. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to do what he’d planned to do in that moment, what he’d waited so long for.
“Well, before I go, I think… I’d like to give you something in return. Well… If you’ll allow me to, that is…” He rambled, voice slightly wavering and pitching an octave higher than usual. He hoped his face wasn’t as red as he believed it to be. “It is not a physical keepsake, but I hope you’ll remember it well…”
For better or for worse… It was worth the risk.
He needed to know.
Amicia frowned, shaking her head. “I don’t understand? Lucas, I already told you-”
“I know... But, I uh… I want to.” Lucas hastily interrupted her.
Amicia’s mouth that had been parted closed into a straight and firm line as she frowned deeply. Calmly, Lucas took the slowest of steps when approaching her, as though taming a wild and startled horse. He focused his attention to his feet, not just because he couldn’t look Amicia in the eye, but also to ensure he didn’t trip over his own feet and make a fool out of himself. He didn’t trust his own legs as they trembled slightly and he inhaled deeply.
One step at a time. This is your chance. Don’t mess it up now!
He instantly felt his palms grow sweaty. His heart felt like it was going to fall out of his chest from pounding so hard like a drum. It was a wonder how Amicia wasn’t able to hear it too.
Just one more step, and it’d be impossible to grow any closer to Amicia’s form. Their bodies were just inches away from colliding together, skin to skin.
Lucas finally dared to look Amicia in the eye, but halted when it appeared she’d temporarily stopped breathing. Her chest was stiff and still as she was clearly holding her breath a little too much. Her already large doe eyes seemed to grow impossibly wider as she observed him like a hawk would its prey. He could drown in her eyes. They were like the deep depths of a stormy sea that held so much pain and darkness, yet so much beauty.
“Amicia, breathe. It’s alright.” Lucas soothed quietly, as though lulling an infant to sleep. From his gentle instructions, Amicia slowly exhaled with him, her breath cool on his cheek.
“Lucas?” Amicia’s tone was soft and almost vulnerable.
Her voice sent tingles through his body and a swarm of butterflies fluttered through his stomach. He couldn’t hold back anymore. Adrenaline flooded through his veins, burning like fire.
“Shhh. Just… please… please don’t - don’t kill me for this…” Lucas murmured breathlessly.
He knew this could go either way. Either she’d reciprocate, or he’d be a dead man. If she pushed him away, at least he’d know. He’d leave and never look back. As much as it would hurt, he would move on.
Taking one last deep breath, he decided it was now or never. He took his opportunity. With a fingertip of his index, he caressed Amicia’s pale cheek, testing her response. It was ice cold to the touch from the weather’s temperature. He trailed her cheek with a touch so light, she probably barely felt anything. Her skin was just as soft as he’d always imagined it to be. Lucas unfolded his enclosed fingers that were dug into the palm of his hand, and cradled her cheek, watching her visibly shiver in response. He knew this shiver wasn’t because of the cold air, but because of him. He swallowed. Slowly and carefully, he leaned in close to her face, the closest he’d ever been. It almost felt invasive. He closed his eyes and parted his lips slightly and pressed them against her own with the lightest touch. He’d never done this before, but he’d read about the psychology of it in his books. Lips brushed against lips, in a feather-like touch of a sweet peck. Amicia’s lips were plump and moist against his own. They fit perfectly together, like lock and key. He treasured the moment, eyes gently closed as he indulged in the sweetness of her lips. But as soon as he’d opened them again, to his horror, it was then he’d realised he’d been wrong.
Amicia didn’t kiss back… Instead, she had frozen in place, as still as a rock underneath his touch, like he’d turned her to stone with just one kiss.
Oh no, no, no. This was a bad idea. This was a mistake. She didn’t want this!
Amicia’s eyes were wide, staring back into his own in complete and utter astonishment. They clearly hadn’t been closed like his own had. Had they been open the entire time?
Lucas felt like Amicia had ripped his heart out from his chest, torn it in half and repeatedly stamped on it until the blood had spilled to the ground. It felt like she’d stabbed him in the back in the process with her knife she stored in her girdle that he knew she was very capable of using. He rapidly pulled away in complete and utter humiliation. A mixture of regret, heartbreak and turmoil settled within his stomach all at once as he attempted to blink back the tears in his eyes that threatened to fall. His vision of the girl in front of him grew blurred.
Well, at least he knew now. The truth. She didn’t want him. Not like he wanted her. And why would she? He was nothing, nothing but a foolish boy in her eyes. She was beautiful, a warrior. It was over. It was obvious it had all been a hopeless dream, a fantasy he’d created in his mind. Of course she’d never have gone for him!
“I’m sorry, I don’t quite know what came over me. I was wrong. I - I shouldn’t have done that-”
But before he could even react, Amicia had forcefully seized Lucas by the shoulders, pulling him to her, chest to chest, bodies colliding together as one. She smashed her lips against his own, as though quenching a thirst, and she was passionate and hungry for more. Together, they were like Fire and Water, the lion and the lamb. She attempted to tug him impossibly closer to her body until she stumbled back a few steps, and found herself backed up against the wooden door of the house. She clung to him, one fist roaming through his hair. Lucas wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, enveloping her form and breathing in the sweet scent of lavender within her own hair. They couldn’t get any closer to one another if they tried.
This was something that Lucas had only imagined in his mind. He’d never imagined Amicia would want to kiss him. It was like giving into a craving, a quench for a food he’d deprived himself of for so long.
It was electric. Lucas felt like his body was tingling all at once, like Amicia was the drug he’d been so desperately holding himself back from all this time. She was addictive. He inwardly cursed as he sensed his legs begin to buckle, all of a sudden feeling slightly weak and dizzy from all of the excitement. Amicia appeared to be suffering the same fate. She leaned on his chest for support and Lucas used his last ounce of strength to hold her up securely against the door, refusing to let her fall despite the weakness within his own legs.
After what felt like an eternity in heaven, Lucas was the one who broke the kiss, but did not let go of her. Their lips brushed lightly against one another as they breathed heavily into one another’s mouths as they attempted to catch their breaths.
Lucas sneakily took the opportunity to examine Amicia’s state, switching into his full logical doctor mode despite the heavy emotional moment. Her pupils were dilated, and her eyes hazy and dreamy. He’d never once imagine they could ever look at him in that way. Especially for him and only him. Maybe for some knight or warrior, an equal to Amicia, but not Lucas the alchemist apprentice who did not even possess half the combat skills or strength that she did.
”Amicia, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. Well, it’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now… Sorry, I wanted to do this right.” Lucas stuttered, grimacing. “I just… I hope it’s not too late…” Lucas felt like his heart had sped up Impossibly fast. “I - I like you. And I mean… I don’t just like you. I - I really like you, Amicia. I have for a while, now.” He coyly fidgeted with his fingers. “And I wanted to know if… you liked me too? I was planning to leave this place ready to let you go… I just… I needed to know…”
“Lucas… I feel the same way. I only wish you’d told me sooner…” Amicia breathed, mouth widening into the brightest smile he’d seen on her in a while.
”Hey, it wasn’t the right time. You weren’t well, Amicia.” Lucas cradled her cheek ever so gently.
“You’re right…” Amicia agreed with a sigh. Her eyes switched up and challenged his own, holding a glint of mischief within them.
“Amicia…” Lucas mumrmured helplessly against her lips. “If you keep looking at me in that way I may not be able to let go…”
“Then… don’t...” Amicia teased, smirking cheekily as she ruffled his dark hair like she was petting a puppy.
Once again, she leaned in to collide her lips with his own, but this time she handled him with care and fragility. It was the softest, sweetest and most gentlest he’d seen her be when it wasn’t with Hugo. Grinning, she pulled away, leaving him giddy. Lucas placed a finger to his lips that was stinging slightly. It appeared to had grown slightly puffy and swollen to the touch. With their inexperience, Amicia may have accidentally nibbled on his lip in the process, but he didn’t mind. It would be a reminder to take away with him that he’d kissed Amicia De Rune.
Lucas caressed her now shortened dark blonde hair, fingers gently brushing through the wisps. “You know I have to go…” He sighed. “I’ll come back for you. I promise. But… I need to do this…”
”I know…” Amicia whispered sombrely, nodding reluctantly as she chewed on her lip. Lucas gently placed his forehead against her own as Amicia’s eyelids fluttered closed, revealing her beautifully long dark lashes. “Now you should really get going. The world awaits, magister.” She grinned. “The world is your oyster.”
”You’re beginning to sound like Sophia…” Lucas chuckled, his forehead still resting against hers, as they relished in their last moments together.
Amicia perched herself on a round tree log out front and gazed longingly at Lucas’s back. His green cape was swinging behind him, lifting in the breeze like a pair of wings, flying him far away from her like a bird leaving the nest. He’d ambled off into the sunrise, ready for the new journey and adventure ahead. The sun had gradually risen high into the sky and appeared to have grown larger and brighter, just like Lucas himself. As he walked, he naturally radiated a yellow and angelic aura that lit up the room anywhere he went and to everyone he met. He was like the sun to her moonlight. He always had been. His aura shone brighter than the sun that day, almost merging into one form. Amicia’s eyes never once wavered from his form until he appeared to be nothing but the size of a tiny ant, like dust in the wind… his presence entirely out of sight.
Now he was gone, she finally allowed the fresh tears to trickle freely down her cheeks, gasping lightly. A goat nearby crunching away upon long streaks of grass bleated very noisily. The sound echoed through the mountains, shocking Amicia out of her trance. She chuckled as she clutched her hand to her pounding heart and shook her head with amusement. Her gasps of disparity switched to giggles in less than a moment. She took some time to gather her bearings as she focused on her shallow breathing.
“Hey…” Amicia softly mumbled. “It looks like it’s just you and me now, goat.” She sighed deeply.
She could still feel Lucas’s large palms gripping her, blunt fingernails digging into her waist and his ocean blue eyes gazing into her own. Ever so gently, Amicia trailed her bottom lip with a fingertip, gently exhaling her warm breath upon her palm. She could still feel his warm lips against hers, the sensation lingering and tingling upon them. His lips were like a healing spell in itself, curing her.
And as Amicia silently enjoyed the company of the goat beside her, and the sun that radiated clear hope for the future to come, although Lucas was now out of sight, she knew that one day, maybe not right now but soon, Lucas would come back home…