Work Text:
Arsene lay his head low as he followed Sugar back to the cottage. He should have never listened to the faerie children.
After coming home from his magic rehab, the fae teased him for eating alone, taunting him that they knew something he didn’t. When he gave in to his irritable curiosity, the fae led him to a file of marriage candidates on Sugar’s coffee table. Without thinking he ran out, following the winged creatures into town where Sugar was meeting with his date.
It was no secret that Arsene was fond of Captain Labelle. In the month Arsene spent with Sugar, he fell for Sugar’s compassion and quiet consideration for Arsene and those around him.
Also, Sugar was pretty. Very pretty.
So seeing Sugar be taken away, looking uncomfortable in front of the stranger, and hearing that person lecture Sugar’s grief, Arsene couldn’t just stand and watch.
Arsene walked over, grabbed Sugar’s cup of water, and poured it down the blond’s head.
“You ditch lunch with me for this guy? Bit a downgrade, don’t you think?” Arsene smiled at Sugar who sighed and rubbed his temple.
“Who the fuck-!”
The man grabbed Arsene’s collar, readying a punch, but Arsene was faster, grabbing his arm and pinning him to the table. His opponent turned over and dragged Arsene to the ground along with all the food and drinks on the table.
Sugar called out to them as they threw punches at each other. Arsene got the upper hand and threw him down, but when the blond looked up at Arsene, he stopped struggling.
“L… Lord Arsene…?”
At that moment Sugar pulled him up by the arm and ushered him out of the crowd without a word.
Now they were almost home. The fae that started this mess sat on Arsene’s right shoulder, twirling their hair and kicking their legs, eyes cast downward to avoid him and Sugar.
Sugar lived in a large cottage built below a rocky incline that led into town. It sat right in front of a lake with a large willow tree that swayed gently in the wind, the branches grazing the lake’s surface.
Sugar entered the house and, without turning around to see if Arsene was still behind him, he called out to the fae. “How did you convince him to follow me?”
The faerie flinched on Arsene’s shoulder.
“I’m not careless enough to leave anything lying around. Show it to me.”
The two looked at each other then at Arsene. He gestured his head towards Sugar. Do as he says. They pouted and flew into the living room.
Arsene stood at the doorway, watching as Sugar picked up the file with a frown. “This was in the recycling bin this morning. Did you two-”
“I-it’s your fault for being indecisive!” Sugar staggered back as the green fae shouted at him. “You have a perfectly good boyfriend here, what’s the point of meeting more?!”
“Y-yeah! Think about how Arsene feels about all this!” Said pink fae.
Sugar sighed. “Look, I’m glad you and the others care about him, but, if you didn’t recall, I’m not dating Arsene.”
“But you like him! You said it yourself!”
“Yeah! Forget the king! You can just marry…” the fae stopped mid-sentence, and her face slowly contorted into one of immense guilt.
Arsene knew there were two things she could have realized.
One, Arsene was a shell. He had no heartbeat, and his lifespan was indeterminate. He had to take rehab in a magic chamber every morning to ensure he wouldn’t suddenly drop dead in the day. Most shells passed away within hours of awakening, but Arsene was preserved through the efforts and curiosity of the King.
Or…
Arsene glanced down at the ring on Sugar’s left hand. The topic they could never talk about.
Sugar smiled at the fae. “It’s alright. I know you meant well, but next time I’d hope you’d all trust me to handle the situation. Arsene,” Arsene flinched as Sugar looked over at him. “See the girls out and come into my study.” He walked off without another word.
The faerie flew over to Arsene. “I’m sorry, Arsene.”
Arsene gave them a carefree grin. “It’s ok, I shouldn’t have acted rashly.”
The pink one pouted. “It was worth it, though.”
Arsene breathed a laugh. “I said I shouldn’t have, not that I wouldn’t have. I regret nothing.” The three of them shared laughs as Arsene opened the window for them.
–
When Arsene entered the study, Sugar was sitting at his desk, flipping through a binder with a focused look. A moth bird sat in his hair, and the fluff puffs clung onto his left arm, but he seemed unbothered. Arsene looked down beside the study desk to see the file of marriage candidates in the trash bin. A bush ferret that lay curled around the metal bin stirred, feeling Arsene’s magic presence. It purred and excitedly ran over, rubbing on his ankles. Sugar looked up at the rustle of the ferret's leaves.
Arsene gave him a cheeky smile. “I thought you usually left the window closed to keep these little guys out,” Arsene said as he picked off the fluff puffs and scooped up the moth bird. He sat on the corner of the desk, petting the feathered creature as he waited for Sugar to speak up.
To his surprise, he didn’t shoo Arsene off his desk he just said, “Why?”
Arsene continued to pet the bird. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“The King hand-picked them. I couldn’t refuse.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“You would have stopped me.”
“I’m glad you know me so well,” he said scornfully.
“Arsene.”
He still wouldn’t look at Sugar. He thought of how, a few days ago, he was teasing Sugar for having enough free time to always walk him home; how he lost a gold coin when Sugar bet the king wouldn’t notice Arsene’s shirt was on backward; how, just yesterday, they were caught stealing tree sap from their neighbor to sweeten their afternoon tea.
Now Arsene couldn’t really remember how they started conversations.
“Arsene,” Sugar said more sternly. “Don’t follow me, again.”
Arsene turned so fast he startled the moth bird out of his hand. “He was obviously making you uncom-!”
“Then let me handle it.” Sugar looked up at him with a serious expression. Arsene felt blood rush to his head, but Sugar had a point. “Don’t misunderstand,” He continued. “I’m flattered that you care enough to stand up for me, but…”
“But what?”
“Nevermind. You should go bathe and change out.” Sugar stood up to put away the binder.
Arsene looked down at the stains of food from the scuffle. He bit back his words, the silence was filled with his memory of Sugar’s reaction to his confession.
You’ve only known me for a month, Arsene. Can you say, without doubt, that you wouldn’t have fallen for whoever was assigned to you? Do you like me in particular? Can you really say that you know me?
Sugar made it clear that even with his remarkable comfortability towards Arsene, he wouldn’t entertain those emotions.
“Does it really matter how long I’ve known you?” Sugar paused in front of the bookshelf. “Who cares about the circumstances? I’m not even talking about my feelings, am I not allowed to care for and defend you?”
Sugar took a deep breath. “Not this strongly. Please give it more time, Arsene. For both of us.”
“Yeah, time that I don’t have.”
Arsene left the study. He regretted mentioning his lifespan the moment it left his mouth. He didn’t need to see the expression on Sugar’s face to feel his chest sink.
–
The handcuffs were digging into Arsene’s wrists. His legs were beginning to fall asleep waiting for the King to arrive.
He didn’t remember anything but his legs carried him out of the cave, down the mountain, and into the Capital City. The whispers of frightened civilians on his way to the interrogation room confused him.
What is a shell? Why am I a shell? Am I going to die?
The door to the interrogation room clicked open. A silver-haired man walked in, commanding authority and respect from everyone in the room.
But Arsene’s eyes were fixed on the man behind the king. A dark-haired man who for a split second flashed him a look that could only be described as devastated.
Surely he’d never forget such a face.
–
Arsene must have dozed off in the bath because when he opened his eyes he wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there.
I should apologize to Sugar.
He got up and towel-dried himself, reaching toward the counter for his clothes. There was nothing to grab. He must have walked straight into the bath after talking to Sugar.
Arsene sighed. He didn’t want to call Sugar to grab it for him, and the towel was too small to wrap around him.
Before resorting to using the bath curtain, he opened the sink cabinet to see if there were more towels to wrap himself in.
A red soft material was peeking out of the basket of soap bars. He set aside the boxes and picked up a burgundy bathrobe. Hm. He put it on and left the bathroom for his room.
Just as he turned into the hall, he bumped into Sugar. Sugar’s eyes widened. “Where did you get that?”
“Oh, I forgot to grab my clothes.”
“Take it off.”
“What”
“Take. It. Off.” Sugar’s grip dug into his arm. Ah…
Arsene scoffed. “Here? You can’t wait until I’m in my room?” Arsene winced as Sugar’s grip tightened. He pushed Sugar’s arm away and walked past him.
Sugar followed him. “Why didn’t you call me to get clothes for you?”
“I didn’t want to.”
“What do you mean you didn’t want to?”
“If this is so important, why didn’t you hide it?”
“Why couldn’t you just call me?”
Arsene stopped right before opening his door. He turned to Sugar. “You know this isn’t the first time I’ve touched his stuff and certainly won’t be the last, so if you could just tell me what’s his or, even better, stop blaming me for unintentionally touching his things, maybe I’d be more considerate!”
“Maybe you should ask before you use things.”
“I can’t ask for everything, Labelle! I can’t keep hesitating everytime I pick up a cup or grab a towel or hug a couch pillow! Why should I be held responsible if you don’t tell me anything?!”
“I do tell you.”
“Not enough! I don’t even know his name! I don’t care if you still love him, but please just tell me what’s his or tell me to move out!”
Sugar didn’t respond, he just gave Arsene a blank stare.
… Shit.
“Sugar-” He wasn’t sure what to say. He couldn’t say sorry, he didn’t feel sorry, not yet at least. He took a deep breath. “I’m gonna cool off. I’ll give you the bathrobe once I’m changed.”
“No,” Sugar avoided Arsene’s gaze. “Just… I’ll be back late. I need to drop something off at the palace. You can leave it in my room later.”
“Oh… Will you be back for dinner?”
“I’ll try.”
“Okay…”
Sugar walked off. Arsene heard the front door open and close. He didn’t even go into the study to grab anything.
–
Arsene lay in bed, hugging the rolled-up bathrobe to his chest. They had small arguments about Sugar’s husband every now and then. Arsene tried to be understanding, but the first week was hard. By unfortunate circumstances, everything Arsene unintentionally touched belonged to him . From blankets to bowls to lounge slippers; and each time Sugar would respond with quiet irritation.
By the end of that week, using the king’s research money, Arsene bought his own things to avoid their frequent disputes. When Sugar noticed the new items, he didn’t say anything but didn’t seem too happy either.
Arsene truly didn’t mind Sugar’s grief, which was why he was starting to feel bad about lashing out, but he also didn’t want the only source of their problems to be someone Arsene didn’t even know the name of.
He considered moving into the palace then immediately thought against it. He loved living here. He liked Sugar. He wouldn't let these small conflicts be the root of his choices.
Which is why he decided he'd apologize as soon as Sugar came home.
He got up to bring the robe over to Sugar’s room. A couple of creatures were pushed forward as Arsene opened the door to his room. He smiled and walked over to the kitchen window to let them out, throwing some of his crystallized magic out for the birds and fluffs to snack on.
To his side, a quarter shredded cabbage lay on the cutting board. Arsene made a mental note to finish making dinner and pack it for Sugar tonight before heading to Sugar’s room.
Sugar didn’t mind Arsene being in his room. He recognized the layout of the room now since Sugar would ask him to grab him things fairly often. It was a small room, his bed was already made, and the bookshelf against the wall was neatly organized by the author. His desk beside the bed had the book he read the night before, along with a notepad and cup of pens.
He left the robe on the bed and walked to the desk to write a note. He jotted down a quick apology and was about to put it on the bathrobe when he noticed something on the desk.
That picture frame wasn’t here before.
Without thinking he lifted the frame upright.
They were smiling, Arsene’s arm was around Sugar, the both of them were holding a certificate of some sort in front of the cottage.
Suddenly things made a lot more sense.
–
It was late. Arsene finished making dinner but didn’t eat any. He spent the rest of the day staring out at the lake until the sun set behind him and the moon rose, gently reflecting off the water's uneven surface. The magic lilies growing on the sides of the lake bloomed and creatures floated about near them, attracted to the glowing petals.
He tried to think of something, anything from his past, but he couldn’t recall his memories. The same image that lingered when he first woke in that cave came back to him, a guttural sob in the embrace of someone holding his cold body. A face blurry he could not recognize.
He sensed Sugar coming down the hill before he heard him. He listened and waited to see if Sugar would approach him. “Can I sit here?” Sugar asked him.
Arsene nodded. As Sugar sat, he recalled what he needed to say before finding the photo.
“I left the robe in your room. I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Arsene picked at the grass. For a while, the sound of the rustling willow tree was the only response to Arsene's apology. A tortoise rabbit hopped between them, sniffing at Arsene’s magic aura.
Sugar picked it up and put it in his lap. “My husband is… missing. Not dead.”
Arsene stopped picking the grass.
“It’s been two years, so everyone has given up looking for him, me included, but I’m still waiting for him. I want to believe he'll find his way back so, even if it’s pathetic, I want to hold onto my memory of him for a little longer.”
Sugar was staring out at the willow tree. Sometimes Arsene would find Sugar lost in thought looking at it. Was the tree significant, too? Why couldn’t he remember anything?
He bit down his growing frustration and gave Sugar’s words some thought before responding. “It’s… I think it’s ok to hold on to him, he was important to you. He is important to you. If you feel better waiting the rest of your life, no one has the right to tell you otherwise.”
Sugar, for probably the first time today, or the first time in the month, actually looked him in the eye, unguarded and vulnerable. He gave Arsene a sad smile. “Thank you for saying that,” He looked down at the tortoise rabbit scratching under its chin. “My husband would have said the same.”
His heart sank. “Thank you for telling me.”
“So… why aren’t you asleep? Were you waiting?”
They locked eyes. He needed to say something, he didn’t want to drop this conversation. He needed to tell Sugar.
“I’m trying to remember. My past, how I woke up in the cave, how I died…”
“Did you remember anything?”
“Arsene shook his head. “I can’t remember anything, but…”
“But?”
“The feeling is there.”
“What feeling?”
He saw it, the glint of hope in Sugar’s eyes. Arsene’s frustration wells up in the form of tears.
Arsene leaned in and kissed Sugar. His right hand rubbed the cold metal of the ring on Sugar’s finger. When he pulled back to see Sugar's stunned expression, Arsene laughed.
“The feeling that we must have been really, really happy together.”
Sugar raised his hand to stifle a sob.
Arsene reaches over to wipe his tears, pulling him into an embrace and cradling his head. Sugar clings onto Arsene’s back repeating the same broken words between sobs, “It’s not fair, Arsene.
“It’s not fair.”
–
Sugar lays in Arsene’s arms, listening to him breathe and rhythmically tapping on his back as if that would somehow make his lover’s heart start beating.
The fate of a shell; to die a second death.
To lose his lover a second time.
Sugar moves closer to Arsene, nuzzling into his chest, focusing his senses on Arsene, confirming to himself that his lover was alive.
It wasn’t fair.