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After practice, Johnny drove the boys back to the apartment complex and picked Carmen up for their date night.
“We’ll probably be home late, so don’t wait up, alright,” Johnny told them.
Carmen hugged both Miguel and Robby hello and Johnny ruffled each boy’s hair before they left.
The moment they were gone, Miguel made his move. He knew if he didn’t ask now, he would never be able to ask.
“What did you mean by dehydration?”
“What?”
“I know damn well that you weren’t dehydrated during class today, so what caused you to faint? What’s going on with you Robby?”
“Nothing is going on with me.”
“Robby,” Miguel said, trying to be patient. “I know that you’ve had to deal with things alone for a lot of your life, but you’re not alone now. Let me help you.”
“I don’t need help. I can take care of myself.”
Miguel was getting angry now. He was offering Robby help. Why couldn’t the boy just take it like he usually did? It didn’t help that Miguel and Sam were having some problems in their relationship, so he was already stressed. He didn’t need to be worried about Robby too, but it wasn’t like Miguel could help worrying about Robby.
“Yeah, like you didn’t need help when you were going to kill yourself in the Cobra Kai dojo? That kind of taking care of yourself?” Miguel spat.
“You don’t have the right to say that!” Robby shouted back.
“I can say anything I want! Freedom of speech, the first amendment! You’d know that if you were still in school!”
Miguel didn’t know why he was saying all of these terrible things to his brother. He just knew that he was angry and that he said and did things when he is angry that he regrets later. This would be one of them.
“That’s not my fault!”
“Oh really,” Miguel said. “You’re the one who almost killed me. I forgave you. I cared about you. I try to help you, and this is how you repay me. By refusing to talk to me when something is clearly wrong.”
Robby didn’t know what to say to that. He could feel his depression taking over every corner of his mind as Miguel spoke.
“I don’t know why I even care about you. Sometimes I wish Sensei never found you. Sometimes I wish you were dead!” Miguel shouted. Miguel had absolutely no idea why he had said that. It wasn’t even true. He loved Robby and just wanted him to be okay, so why the FUCK was he saying all of this terrible shit to him.
Robby turned to walk away. His skin was itching really badly for some cuts. Maybe he would finish the job that he had started after the All-Valley.
He barely even noticed when Miguel started to follow him, screaming out apologies. “I’m sorry, Robby,” Miguel said. “I don’t know why I said those things. I don’t mean them.”
Robby knew that Miguel didn’t mean to say the words aloud, but he probably meant them somewhere in his soul. Robby knew that he wasn't ready to kill himself that night, but he was still going to cut. Probably a lot.
“It’s okay, Miguel. I forgive you,” Robby said. Miguel grabbed his wrist gently to stop him.
“It’s not okay, Robby. The things I just said were terrible and I didn’t mean them. I’m just angry and stressed. But I’m not mad at you and I shouldn’t have said those things,” Miguel said.
“I forgive you, Miguel. I know you didn’t mean it. I just really want to be alone right now.”
“Are you sure you’ll be alright alone?”
“I’ll be fine. I’m not going to do anything stupid.”
“Okay,” Miguel said, letting go of Robby and allowing the boy to go back to the apartment that he shared with Johnny.
The moment Robby entered the apartment, he went to his room and locked the door. He sighed a little. He still didn’t like being in an enclosed space, but it was different when he did the locking and he could still get out if he wanted or needed to.
He picked up the blade that he had hidden in his drawer and rolled up his sleeve, looking for a new place to cut. There were so many cuts on his flesh already that there was hardly room for new ones. Unless, he was willing to cut farther down and give up wearing short sleeves for as long as he might live. He decided that that was a sacrifice that he was willing to make and began cutting into the skin of his forearm.
Once Robby started, he couldn’t stop. It was like the words that Miguel had said had brought out every bad feeling that he had ever felt in his life and he needed to get them all out.
After 20 or so cuts on his forearms, he stopped, noticing just how much blood he was losing. The goal was not to die tonight. He needed to stop the bleeding. He went to his closet and pulled out an old towel. His dad had been meaning to get him new ones anyway. The towel was used to stop the bleeding. It didn’t take long. There were a lot of cuts, but none of them were too deep. They didn’t even need to be bandaged, which would save him a lot of suspicion.
Once he was sure that the cuts were done bleeding, it was about dinner time and he had just received a text from Miguel.
I ordered a pizza for dinner. Want to share?
Robby knew that he was going to have to talk to Miguel eventually. It might as well be today.
Sure. I’ll be right over.