Work Text:
It was early in the day. The sun had barely just risen over the horizon. Penelope glanced down at the ring on her finger. It was beautiful. A sparkling diamond set on a gold band, it all glimmered and shined. It was a heavy, little thing. The weight was so foreign to Penelope though she had only been wearing it since yesterday.
She should be happy. She should have been absolutely elated. All she had set out for this season was a kind husband, who would hold some regard for her to allow her some kind of freedom.
She found Lord Debling early on. A very sweet, unassuming man (though a bit dull) who had recently come into his title. There had been other suitors like Marcus Anderson and more surprisingly, Lord Fife but they had all dwindled away leaving Lord Debling. Overall, it had been a model courtship, if it had not been for Colin.
“Why are you still entertaining him when we both know that we should be together?”
Penelope tried to shake all thoughts of Colin Bridgerton from her mind. It was difficult to do before the season started. Then he had burst back into her life asking why she was angry with him, asking why he hadn’t heard from her. He found out about Whistledown and then he was supposed to be mentoring her when it came to suitors, but she was a rather quick study. Still, he hovered around, and then…
Avoiding all thoughts of him was impossible. How could she think of anything else when she had kissed him, touched him? The carriage. Oh, the damn carriage. She did not know what was worse, the first time they found pleasure together in his carriage or when he ravished her in front of the mirror at Madam Delacroix’s shop.
It’s been a week and Penelope couldn’t look in a mirror without blushing. The only way she could stop was by thinking about what had happened after.
“Well, if we didn’t need to get married before, we certainly do now.”
“What?”
“For heaven’s sake, we can’t keep going on the way we have been so are you going to marry me or not?”
“I think not.”
“Penelope!”
Penelope was broken from her thoughts by a knock on the door. Penelope looked up from her desk as Varley stuck her head in the room.
“Miss Bridgerton is here to see you, Miss Penelope.”
Penelope stood in surprise. Things had gotten better with Eloise, meaning they were at the very least on speaking terms, though their interaction was limited to short, polite, public, conversations that were still very much filled with tension.
Penelope made her way down to her family’s drawing room, thankful that the ball the night before was cause for much celebration (due to Lord Debling’s proposal) and caused her mama to overindulge. Penelope had learned early on that if her mother happened to find herself at the bottom of a bottle, getting out of bed the next day would be a challenge for her mama.
As she entered the drawing room, Eloise was pacing back and forth between the couch and the window.
“Eloise, I was not expecting you.” Penelope closed the doors behind her. “Is everything alright?”
Eloise seemed startled for a moment before composing herself.
“Yes, everything is fine…” Penelope felt her shoulders sag a bit. She had been worried something had happened. It was still quite early for visitors and Eloise had not come by in what felt like ages. Penelope gestured to the couch for them to sit on. Eloise’s eye line when straight for Penelope’s hand. Penelope looked down to where morning light glinted off her ring. Eloise gasped. “It’s true then. You’re engaged to Lord Debling.”
Penelope nodded. She tried to conjure up the excitement she knew she was supposed to feel only to feel discouraged when she came up empty. “Yes, I’m engaged.”
Eloise rocked back and forth a bit where she sat, her hand tapping on her leg.
“You can’t marry him,” she said, suddenly. Penelope blinked.
“Why not?”
“Colin,” Eloise said, giving Penelope a pointed stare.
His name alone was enough to make her heart flutter. “What?” Penelope asked, placing her hand on her chest.
“My brother, Colin,” Eloise said as if reminding Penelope of an appointment they had made.
Penelope looked away towards the fireplace where the fire was already beginning to dwindle. “What about him?”
“You’re in love with him.”
Penelope whipped her head back at that. “I…That…”
How did she know? How much did she know? Did Colin say something?
Eloise shook her head, looking down at her lap. “I feel stupid for never noticing it before. Then again there have been many things I never noticed because I never look beyond my own interest. But I see it now. You are in love with my brother.” Eloise looked back at Penelope, “And he is in love with you.”
Penelope began to shake her head. “He... He’s never… we never…” She had been about to say they had never told each other any such thing. But that would be a lie. He had said that he loved but… “He loved Marina and I ruined that.”
“No, he didn’t.” Eloise moved closer. “He never looked at Marina the way he looks at you. None of us have ever seen him like this before. He hasn’t eaten in days, he hasn’t slept or laughed or anything. He recovered from Marina swiftly. He will not recover if you marry Debling.”
Penelope stood and went to the window. The streets were bare, empty. “Just leave it, Eloise. It’s really none of your business.”
“None of my-” Eloise raised her voice. She stood from the couch herself and made her way to stand next to Penelope. “Colin is my brother, and you are my best friend. I can’t stand by and watch the two of you ruin yourselves.”
Penelope hadn’t realized tears were building in her eyes until she felt one run down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away.
“It’s too late. We’re to announce our engagement tonight.”
“Call it off. You can spin the story however you’d like to avoid scandal in Whistledown.”
Penelope sighed. Whistledown. She had not written in weeks.
“I’m done with Whistledown.”
Eloise clutched her arm.
“Then bring her out of retirement. Is that how you want it to end anyway? You want Whistledown, your years of work, to fade into obscurity. No swan song. Nothing. After everything.”
Penelope pulled her arm from Eloise’s grip and turned away. But Eloise was nothing if not persistent. She took Penelope by the shoulders, forcing her to be still.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Eloise.” Penelope let out desperately.
Eloise gave her a gentle smile, one that warmed her heart. “I want you to be the woman I know you are. Be bold, witty, be clever and daring, and passionate. Go after what you want. Go after the life that you deserve.”
Penelope had heard many times throughout the season about what kind of woman she was from her suitors, from Lady Danbury, from Colin. Each time Penelope did not truly believe the words though she supposed they were helpful as Penelope gained confidence. Lately, she had been so unsure of her decisions though she thought she knew what she wanted. But hearing words of affirmation from Eloise, the one person she always wanted affirmation from, possibly even more so than Colin, was validating. Penelope hadn’t realized she needed validation, but it was nice to have. Still…
“How can I when I’ve done so much wrong? I’ve hurt people.”
“Who have you hurt?” Eloise pressed. “Your cousin made her own choices as did Colin. Daphne and Anthony are both happily married without a care in the world.”
“I betrayed you. I betrayed our friendship.”
Eloise sighed. She closed her eyes for a brief moment before clearing her throat. “My pride was hurt. Although, I’d like to think I’ve learned quite a bit about myself, and my pride may have needed to take a hit or two.” She smiled, ruefully gazing out at the window, making Penelope wonder what she had been up to during their separation. Eloise shook her head as if shaking off memory and regarded Penelope once more. “The people hurting more than anyone right now are you and Colin. Everyone, if they were affected by your words, has since moved on. It’s your turn.”
Penelope nodded.
“Where is he?”
The morning was already passing, Colin could tell by the shift of the light. Everyone would have already had breakfast, but Colin didn’t have the appetite for anything. He couldn’t stomach anything even if he tried. Food had no taste.
Sleep was pointless. He only dreamed of her. Penelope.
He would never regret the time he spent with her. The times he held her in his arms and watched as she fell apart from the pleasure they shared.
“I said I’d teach you. I can teach you about desire, about pleasure. You won’t be able to learn the same from him.”
“Perhaps not, but then there are many things he offers that you can’t.”
He was such a fool. So, he sat in his room and let the hours go by. She’ll probably be celebrating her engagement tonight.
There was a knock at the door, but he ignored it. It was probably one of his siblings who came to try to drag him out again. He registered the door opening but he kept looking at the same yellow wallpaper in front of him.
“Colin.” A small voice rang out. A voice he would know anywhere.
Colin stood up so quickly that he felt a rush of blood to his head, causing him to stumble.
“Pen.” He said once he laid eyes on her, regaining his balance. She was beautiful. A vision in front of him. Her red hair fell in soft waves around her shoulders. Her dress, colored white to represent the pure soul that she is and tailored to show how desirable she could be. That Madame Delacroix surely is a genius.
When Colin came out of his stupor, he realized Penelope was in his bedroom. His every unkept bedroom. He ran his hands through his hair, hoping it wasn’t obvious that it hadn’t been washed or combed in days. He patted his sides before remembering he wasn’t even wearing a vest.
“I… um… I’m sorry for the mess.” He stuttered out.
Penelope took a step forward.
“I’m not marrying Lord Debling.”
At that moment, it was as if things shifted into focus. What? She wasn’t marrying him.
“You’re not?” He asked.
Penelope shook her head. “No, it wouldn’t be fair.” She took a step and then another until she was right in front of him. She placed her small hands on his chest which was slightly exposed due to the open collar of his shirt. The warmth of her hands sent a shiver through him. “Not when my heart has always belonged to someone else.”
“Always?” Colin asked, hopefully.
Penelope raised a hand to caress the side of his face. Colin couldn’t help but melt into her touch. “I’ve been yours since the moment you smiled at me after my bonnet knocked you off your horse when we were children. I feel more like myself with you than with anyone. You see me. You make me laugh. You make me feel bold. More recently, you drive me to madness. I love you.”
“I love you.” Colin could not hold himself back any longer. She had chosen him. Despite all of the mistakes he had made, and all the directions they had been pulled in, Penelope was choosing him. Pulling her closer, he kissed her, hoping to convey the depth of his affection. Their lips moved together in perfect synchrony. There was no question that they were made for each other.
Colin could have spent the rest of the day holding her in his arms, but he needed to know… “Does this mean you’ll marry me?”
Penelope smiled.
“I suppose this is a better proposal than your last one.”
Colin chuckled. Something told him he may never hear the end of how badly he mucked up his first proposal to the love of his life.
“I can do better.” He declared. He pulled away from Penelope entirely, leaving her with a slightly confused look on her face. He went to his desk and opened the drawer. He pulled out the small leather box that had been placed there the moment he arrived back from his travels. He pulled the ring from the box and presented it to Penelope. The moss-colored stone was more crystal than a gem, but the diamonds around it were real. It was unique and beautiful and when Colin saw it, he immediately thought of Pen. It was the moment he knew he was the biggest fool in England. The moment he knew he was in love with his best friend.
He kneeled down on his knee, holding up the ring in one hand and taking Pen’s hand in the other.
“Pen, I love you with everything that I am, everything that I’ve been, and everything I hope to be. Your dreams and hopes are mine. Wherever you are in life, in the world I want to be too. I will devote the rest of my life to ensuring your happiness. So please, marry me?”
“Yes.” She smiled, brightly and Colin knew his expression matched as he slid the ring onto her finger.
“Finally!”
Colin and Penelope both looked at the doorway where the entire Bridgerton clan had begun to clap and cheer.
“How long have you all been there?” Penelope asked, blushing profusely.
“The whole time,” Gregory answered.
“We weren’t going to miss this,” Hyacinth said, bouncing on her toes.
“It took you long enough brother.” Benedict smiled, cheekily.
“Congratulations. Now get out of this bedroom before I have to get a special license.” Anthony ordered.
Colin cleared his throat. “Well, it might be a good idea to get one anyway.”
Anthony groaned. “For God’s sake Colin!”
“Hush, you, we’ve all been waiting for this for too long.” Their mother swatted at his oldest brother’s chest.
“Mother-“
“Listen to your mother and just get started on procuring the license,” Kate instructed. Anthony heaved a sigh but nodded. “Yes, dear.”
As Anthony left for his task, the rest of the family moved forward to embrace the couple.
Kate hugged Penelope tightly. “I know you need to share the news with your mother, but will you stay for a while to celebrate.”
“Of course.”
“Perhaps with those little salmon sandwiches and the lemon cakes.” Colin chimed in.
Eloise rolled her eyes. “And his mind’s back on food. He’s all better.”
While the family celebrated in the drawing room, Penelope took a moment to pull Eloise aside.
“Thank you.”
“I am happy to call you sister.” Eloise smiled. She looked over her shoulder, making sure Hyacinth was nowhere near hearing distance. She whispered, “Do you know what you will write for your column?”
“No, but perhaps you could help me.”
Eloise beamed, “I’d love that.”