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Third Holy Grail War - The Only Way to Win

Summary:

A meeting between a Master and a mysterious man invested in the Grail War's outcome occurs, and they discuss the nature of the Holy Grail War. Later, Keiyuri Tohsaka and her servant Achilles come under attack from Assassin.

Notes:

Don't ya just love the smell of a fresh update after three months? This one's pretty dialogue heavy. Hope you enjoy!

Work Text:

“Kariya”. It was a fake name. One the man wearing it hated quite honestly. Something just felt off about the name. Like he was going to be doomed to misery if he kept using it. He wasn’t sure why he felt that way. It was probably just superstition. The stress of the looming Grail War getting to him. Yea, that was probably it.

The rhythm of his footsteps on concrete came to a halt as did the man’s thoughts. Peering up at the grungy looking inn, the man sighed, pushing a few locks of golden hair out of his face. No one wants to show up to a meeting looking unkempt after all. Striding into the inn and climbing up the stairs the man made his way to the room number he’d been directed towards, knocking on the door.

“Hey, it's James.” The man said, “Open up.” The door swung open, as if by magic, and ‘James’ stepped in.

“Assassin told me you were going by Kariya now.” A carefree voice greeted ‘James’ as he stepped into the room. A man with blue hair and dark eyes reclined on the lone chair in the room, tinkering with some machinery or another on the desk.

“It's still James to you.”

“You really are a disagreeable sort, aren’t you?” The blue haired man laughed, piecing together a wind-up mechanism into whatever he was working with, “Ya can’t give me your family name and now I don’t even know if I was right to be calling you James this whole time.”

“You were the one to send your servant to spy on me, so I think we’re even, Dioland.”

“Fair point, fair point.”

“Where’s your servant?”

“Right here young man!” A voice barked out from behind “James”. The man spun on his heels, coming face to face with Dioland’s servant.

Or well, “James” had to look down first, but he did eventually find Dioland’s servant. He was an incredibly short man - likely a dwarf - and dressed in all-encompassing black robes and a skull mask. His intimidating apparel was not offset by his diminutive height - rather it filled “James”’s mind with images of just how many places he could sneak around, places he could fit in that no one else could. Standing with a hand on his hip and his head cocked slightly to the side, “James” couldn’t escape the feeling that the servant was smiling behind that mask.

The sweat “James” could feel running down his back told him all he needed to know about how that smile made him feel.

“Relax kiddo! I don’t intend on killing ya!” The assassin laughed, “The names Hassan-i-Sabbah, of the Cypher Phantasy! As long as you’re my master’s partner-in-crime, you don’t gotta worry about my skills!”

Hassan’s laugh and voice were those of an old, yet cheerful, man, completely at odds with his short stature.

“That being said…” Hassan kicked the ground with his foot, “I might be having to kill ya soon, if you don’t like the plan my master’s drafted up.”

“Huh?” “James” spun around to face Dioland, “The hell’s he talking about? I thought we had a deal?”

“Yea, yea,” Dioland waved his hand dismissively, “Don’t get yourself all twisted up, it ain’t good for your health. Our deal is still on, my priorities just changed a little.”

“Explain yourself.”

“Jeez James, for someone not in control you sure do like making orders,” Dioland’s laugh was lighthearted, “Listen, I thought about what you said when you first approached me. About how you didn’t even want to participate in the Grail War, just fuck around in the background so you can get something out of whoever's left standing, right?”

“James” stayed silent, only nodding his head.

“What exactly did you say? ‘The only way to win a rigged game is to not play it’? Pretty smart honestly. That’s why I decided I wanted to follow that philosophy myself.”

“What?”

“Simple. I figure you’re here to play suck-up to one of the winners, right? The first two wars were inconclusive according to the research we did, the second devolving into a pointless bloodbath. Even if someone actually manages to win, you bet that they wouldn’t actually be able to use the Grail for its intended purpose, so you’d be waiting in the wings to mooch off of whatever result they do find themselves with, right?”

“Yes, yes, whatever Dioland, you don’t need to explain my own damn motives to me!” “James” snapped, “The hell does it have to do with you?”

“Simple,” Dioland tossed the piece of machinery he’d been tinkering with to “James”, “I want you to carry around that puppet as you get close to your ‘target’. I can see and hear through it like any other familiar, and if I’ve deduced your target right…it should be all the more easier for you to get the information I want.”

“And what is it that you want?”

Dioland stood up, walking uncomfortably close to “James”, “Let’s play a game. If I can guess your ‘target’, you’ll answer a question that’s been bugging me for a long time, and, just because I’m a nice guy like that, I’ll answer a question of yours.”

“My question will be ‘what the hell do you want out of this Grail War?’.”

Dioland laughed, “Nice to see that you’re so agreeable James! So…as for my guess…I think you’re after Tohsaka. I don’t know if your goal is to kill them, steal their crest, maybe you even intend on marrying them to join their family for some reason or another. I don’t really care. So answer me. Am I right?”

“James” let the assumption hang in the air for a moment, before speaking, “A deal’s a deal Dioland. Tell me what you’re after.”

“Looks like I’m right as always,” Dioland laughed, “Well, you see James, what I’m after…is the setup.”

“The…setup?”

“Come on James, you can’t be that stupid. I want to know how to set one of these Holy Grail Wars up! There’s a city out in my country, it’s named Las Vegas, and it's an absolute den of vice. But they’ve got a phrase there ‘the house always wins’. It means that, no matter how many games a gambler wins, the casino will always have it better in the end because they’ve strung you along.”

“James” remained silent.

“Don’t you get it?” Dioland smiled, “I’m in total agreement with you James. You can’t win a game that’s already been rigged against you. So, the solution is, obviously, to just become the dealer yourself. You can lose if *you* are the one who rigged the game. I intend to figure out how this Grail War thing works and leave.”

“And how does Assassin feel about that plan? Doesn’t he have something worth fighting for?”

“You’re right kid, I do!” Assassin spoke up, “Dying! That’s what I got that’s worth fighting for!”

“James” was…taken aback by that answer to say the least, “W-what?”

“And I thought Master said you were smart…” Assassin shook his head, as if disappointed with “James”, “I want to retire, kid. I spent my life killing and was killed in turn when I got tired of it. Now? I just want a break. And it turns out, ‘nothing’ is as good a break as any. So you tell me, what’s faster? Fighting to the death for some blasphemous cup, or just leaving on my own turns.”

“Well then…,” “James” muttered, “That’s a bit depressing ain’t it?”

For the first time, it seemed like Assassin looked directly at “James”. The sweat that had dried earlier instantly returned, and “James” instantly regretted saying anything.

“My motives are my own. Don’t question them.”

“Y-yep, gotcha.”

Dioland clapped a friendly hand on “James”’s shoulder, “Now there, I believe we had a deal. So, answer me this…”

“What is your name? It can even be your family name, if you’re just that secretive about your given name.”

 

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Keiyuri Tohsaka was having a shitty day. First that dipshit, good-for-nothing, son of a bitch waiter was late with her ice cream, then her attempt to assert superiority over the other Three Founding Families of the Holy Grail War had failed, they’d discovered Rider’s True Name (Achilles), and she didn’t even have so much as a single clue as to the identities of their servants.

The mage stomped angrily through the streets, intent on doing nothing but walking off her frustrations with how that plan had gone. Rider - thankfully - had agreed to enter his Spirit Form and leave Keiyuri alone for a little bit (not that Keiyuri expected her fortune to last long).

Lo and behold, she would soon find her assumption about her day be proven very, very correct - when, not two minutes after she began her walk, a hand roughly grabbed her and yanked her to an alleyway.

Of course, that wasn’t the part that made her day worse. Before bothering to see who it was, Keiyuri decided that her unfortunate assailant would be the one who would help her vent her frustrations. A slam of her elbow into her assailant’s torso quickly broke his grip on her, and two quick strikes to his head and torso that followed sent him sprawling backwards. Right as her flurry of blows finished, Keiyuri heard the crack of a gunshot, and felt something whiz by her head.

Keiyuri’s assailant wouldn’t have a chance to take a second shot either, as Rider exited spirit form right as the would-be-attacker landed, bringing his foot down hard on his wrist. There was a sickening crack as the man’s finger’s unfolded limply around the handle of the gun.

“You missed-” Keiyuri began, before pausing, finally noticing who it was that was sprawled out before her, “Y-you’re the waiter from the cafe!?”

“Y-yes. Yes I am,” the downed man croaked out, “Can you please tell the servant to step off of my wrist please?”

“Tell me why you attacked me first. And then I’ll decide if you live or not.”

“I wasn’t trying to attack you. I was trying to save you.” “James/Kariya” hissed, squinting through the pain that ebbed from his wrist, “Look behind you.”

Keiyuri peaked over her shoulder…before rapidly spinning around, eyes widening. A mechanical doll laid sprawled out, bullet hole going straight through its power supply. It was dressed in black robes and a cheaply made skull mask.

“W-what the hell?” Keiyuri blurted out. Achilles stepped off of ‘James/Kariya’’s wrist, gripping his spear tightly as his eyes scanned the surrounding area.

“Assassin, assassin’s master decided to target you!” “James/Kariya” explained, “I overheard him by chance and tried to warn you…it seems I wasn’t fast enough to give you time to fully prepare.”

Keiyuri grit her teeth, “Grab him Rider! We’re going back to my place. Homefield advantage will be much better fighting against an assassin!”

“Uhhh, master,” Achilles said, eyes darting around the alleyway, “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think that delaying this fight stopped being an option about 30 seconds ago.”

Keiyuri followed her servant’s gaze, and here’s the part where her day really went from bad to worse. Multitudes of those assassin-like dolls swarmed the alleyway, surrounding the trio.

“The real assassin could be anyone of them.” “James/Kariya” grunted, “You’ll have to chew through them all.”

“Just great,” Keiyuri mumbled, “That’s just great.”

Achilles crouched down low, standing close to his master, spear extended in front of him, enough of his own body still behind his master to function as a shield if needed.

As the tension of the standoff heightened, and Keiyuri and Achilles’ focus was kept firmly on the dolls (and the assassin hidden amongst them), they soon took it *off* of “James/Kariya”...and he took the opportunity to let out a pained…but very satisfied grin

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Earlier

*“My name, that’s what you want?” “James/Kariya” asked in response to Dioland’s question, seemingly taken aback.*

*“Hey, family’s important, especially in the world of mages. And in your words, a deal’s a deal. So cough up the answer.”*

*“Fine, fine.” “James/Kariya” sighed, taking a deep breath and nervously shifting for a moment or two, before steeling himself and delivering his answer.*

*“My real name is Mikealiavi Edelfelt, youngest child of the Edelfelt Family.”*