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It didn't take long for Theo to learn that Boris would share anything he had with him, he was always offered things and when Theo asked he always gave without so much as a look. Sometimes he didn't even need to ask, if Boris saw him admiring something too long or thought he could use it, then it would show up in his possession without an explanation. Due to this, Theo found himself sharing his own things as well.
Anything that was Boris' was Theo's. And anything of Theo's was Boris'.
They didn't have anyone else in the world so they kept each other close and took care of one another. Whether school supplies, money, or house items. Anything one had could be the other's too if needed or asked for. That was the procedure and it worked for them both.
So when Theo found Boris going through his bag, he didn't mind it, after all it wasn't like Boris had even done it without him there. They were sitting beside each other at the lunch table. Theo had intentions to help Boris with his Civics study guide; he just needed a pencil which was what Boris was looking for. Instead he seemed to have come across a journal, it was one the dark haired boy hadn't seen before but he knew it wasn't for school. Theo had all his notebook labeled the corresponding class, this one didn't have one, and was shorter and thick, a small strap keeping it closed.
"What's this?" Boris asked, head tilting slightly. He seemed genuinely curious but Theo couldn't help the fact that heat rose to his face. He forgot he had put it in there, usually he left it in his locker during school, very rarely taking it out. Most of the time though it just stayed home under his dresser. And now Boris held it, fingers running over the strap but not yet making a move to remove it.
"Uh, it's nothing. I think the pencils are in the front" he tried to say smoothly, taking the book out of his hands and shoving it back into his bag. Boris gave him a look. Theo sighed heavily, knowing there was only one way out of this. "Listen, it's just a..ugh it's a poetry journal. Just don't read it" Theo admitted, quickly adding, "or even talk about it for that matter" he could've sworn he saw a perk of a smile but Boris moved on to questioning him about Civics. Something Theo was extremely grateful for. He didn't want to talk about the book, or the kinds of poetry he's written in it. It was all just embarrassing. Sometimes he got embarrassed for himself whenever he went back and read them.
Boris didn't need to bear witness to that.
And while it seemed Boris was no longer interested in the book, that couldn't have been further from the truth. He didn't speak of it again and through the rest of school there was so much more to talk about. But he found himself still going back to thinking about it. He didn't know Theo did poetry, he wanted to see some of it.
They got off at Theo's stop after school. Both heading directly to his house because why the fuck not? They always spent time with each other, it wasn't like there was anything else to do. Or anyone to stop them for that matter. Whenever Larry and Xandra were home they didn't mind Boris over, and Mr. Pavlikovsky was hardly ever home. When he was, he was too drunk to care. Only on very rare occasions did Mr. Pavlikovsky acknowledge them being over, even then it was usually nothing more than a few slurred pleasantries
They did their homework (much to Boris' displeasure,) while smoking. Breathing out puffs of smoke in between questions or mumbled complaints. That's always how it was whenever they got home. They didn't usually have homework but when they did it was always a slightly better experience. Even if neither understood it much better than the other.
Boris was surprisingly good at school (he wouldn't have expected it with how nonchalant Boris always was about skipping or not doing good), the only thing he mainly asked about was Civics. Something Theo would never stop finding endearing. He didn't mind helping him with the Bill of Rights or Federalist Papers, if anything he found the little pout Boris had every time he was confused cute. And Theo..well he was getting by decently with his own work.
"Potter, have any alcohol?" Boris ruined their productive streak, leaning back with his hands behind him on the floor. The question was bound to come up eventually, while they didn't necessarily have to get wasted every time they drank, Boris drank alcoholic drinks like it was water. Theo huffed a laugh and stood,
"Yeah, give me a minute. I'll get snacks too," Theo left the room leaving his backpack, Boris, and a curled sleepy Popchyk behind in his room. All within arms reach of each other.
The journal was still in his backpack, not back into its hiding spot. Boris had came to the house with him immediately, there wouldn't have been a point in hiding it yet. But that just made it all the more tempting for Boris. Who's eyes drifted from the paper over to the backpack. The main pocket was unzipped..it was like it was a sign. Basically inviting the intrusion. Boris groaned, turning to face the only one to witness the act.
"How mad do you think Potter will be?" Boris said to the dog, already reaching for the book inside. "It will just be glance, right? He won't even know I read it." It sounded like a reasonable plan but Theo was a bit dramatic sometimes and if he did somehow get caught then it would stir a scene that Boris didn't know if he wanted to deal with. Popchyk tilted his head, perking up from his nap.
"You curious too? Fine then, if you insist, but if we get caught you're to blame" now no longer having the guilt of snooping (because Popchyk had just needed to know what was inside and was simply using Boris to do his bidding) he unhooked the strap and turned a few pages in.
Boris did his best to read and be speedy. Skimming through some of the poetry, all of varying lengths. The first few ones he read had all been.. depressing. If Boris had to guess then it was likely after the bombing that caused the poetry to be written in the first place because the tones were dreary in most of these. Bombs weren't directly mentioned but rubble and smoke were, oceans were used as metaphors and a bird was mentioned throughout. A painting, Boris assumed, or maybe it was a reference to something only Theo could understand.
'Cheating death is nowhere near as rewarding
Your still a long way from living how you should be
A change of heart is knowing where
You never want to be'
Ah another poem about death..and probably something else but he didn't know what, that was his depressed friend for him. He skipped the next few pages, trying to see if this book was only a mournful one or if it had some hope. To his surprise, he actually found things that was looking for. Things that made him feel less guilty of reading. With all the rhymes and free verses about sorrow, it made it feel like an invasion of privacy. Which the whole thing was, but it at least didn't feel like it when it was something he could tease Theo about.
'I saw the goldfinch and then I try
To see the world from a birds eye
To see her fly and
Just one day to hear her sing-
Only for the sun, or so I'm told
The little wonders in gleaming gold'
He looked to the doorway to make sure he wasn't returning, eyes quickly going back to darting through the page. Trying to find any words that might catch his eye. Seeing him write about the goldfinch was certainly one, Theo had mentioned it in passing when the museum that was bombed was brought up. What was so great about a goldfinch? Boris didn't know, perhaps they were rare? Or extinct? Theo's attempt at a bird drawing that had been scribbled beside it was only so much help trying to figure out which bird fit the description. Maybe Theo would enjoy bird watching? Boris mused the random thought.
When would this get interesting? He didn't have any deep secrets, nothing Boris didn't already know. Death, sadness, sweet song of birds, painting, friends, unrequited, feelings, confusion, and- wait.. what was this about love? He went back, flipping the page.
'You offer your smile when you see me cry
Lending your air when I need to breathe
Becoming my heart when I need to feel
Being there each time when I miss a beat.
In your gratifying image I retain my own
For your friendship is all I've even known,
Residing there, leaning on you frequently
Making your home my place of sanctuary.
Trusting your navigation I steer my life
Relying readily on your calming advice,
Traversing your roads to take me there
Where you and I haven't been together.
Happily you treat me like I'm a queen-bee
Holding a reservoir of hives full of honey.
Yet, I can't let you partake in sampling
Afraid that it might ruin our friendship.
Heart you lent me yearns for your love,
Smile you gave me aches for your touch.
No point denying the message they send,
Wishing we were more than just friends'
Boris was grinning, cause what was this about? Such repressed feelings of love and sounding so longingful too. Almost as though the person it was directed to was in reach but unattainable. He mentioned it being a friend but Theo could've had some back in New York, he couldn't get his hopes up. There was no date on these poems, and just because it was nearing the back of the book, who knew when Theo had last written? Maybe he'd take a break. Theo never mentioned liking someone, never mentioned having such feelings over a friend.
And if Boris was a bit jealous then that stayed between him.
He kept going, needing to know more about this mystery guy. The lucky bastard that he was to get such strong feelings from Theo. And what a prick too, how could he leave Theo yearning like that? Like, if he didn't like him then he should've said something. There was no way it wouldn't have been obvious with how desperate he sounded.
"Popchyk go stand guard," Boris was slightly worried what would happen if he got caught, would blaming it on Popper really work? Theo probably wouldn't stay mad for too long, but they both could hold a grudge and Boris was strictly doing something he said not to. As if he was actually doing what was told. The white bundle of fur stretched its stubby legs and bounded out of the room, going down the stairs slowly. How much time had passed? It didn't feel like long, Boris was a decently fast reader. But it was just drink and snacks so it could be nah minute that he was going to return.
He wanted to know if Theo still wrote about the mysterious person so he went to the last page of the book that was written on.
'The curliness of his hair
Which holds your fingers captive
In an endless loop of swirls
Dancing along with the attributes of nature, his hazel-colored eyes
Which were much deeper than mine,
His beauty was like visiting another universe
Dreaming through a telescope-'
"Boris!"
Boris who was currently being caught red handed, only jumped from the volume of the words. Unfortunately his inability to take anything seriously made him giggle. Which was not something that someone who was guilty should be doing. Popchyk came in a second later, at least he tried. Good work accomplice Popchyk, efforts will be rewarded soon.
Boris stood to his feet, journal still in hand. Theo on the other hand, did not look nearly as amused. His mouth was turned into a frown and fists clenched from where they were empty from the snacks, (which were now on the desk).
"Potter! Good timing, who is this?" He said gesturing to the page that was splayed open, "didn't know you had such strong feelings for your past friend. Didn't even tell me about past friend" Theo was dumbfounded. What was Boris on about? He snatched the book from his hand and read whatever was on that page. Needing to refresh what he wrote a few weeks ago.
And it confused him how Boris didn't know it was him.
"And your other one about the same friend, about wishing to be more, something about treating you like bee, a metaphor with honey, who does my Potter feel so passionate about?" Boris asked, completely shameless about snooping. And while he was rambling about that, Theo couldn't stop wondering why he was in love with such an idiot. Such an oblivious idiot.
"Nothing Boris, okay? It's no one and it's not going to happen so it doesn't fucking matter" he didn't sound all that mad, his fury had died down with his fondness for Boris and now he was just disappointed because his unrequited feelings was one of the two biggest downers of his life. (The first being his deceased mother).
"Don't be so silly, you are hopeless romantic" he laughed before growing a bit more serious, "Theo, you are literally such a charmer. If you actually told that friend of yours your feelings then I'm sure he would've recuperated. In fact, you can probably get anyone you want if you actually tried. But no, here you are brooding. You're always brooding. And while I think it's very adorable, that's not the point. You need confidence, is all. Just try, okay? And if it doesn't work then you can hate me, but I'm sure it'll work"
Theo could never hate him.
Their lips connected, Boris hadn't been expecting it but when he realized what was happening swiftly fell into the rhythm. He didn't mind if it was his friend/the person he had been subtly pining for. But he enjoyed it, even if it would mean nothing more.
"You're so- for all your stupidity you're just so beautiful and amazing" Theo didn't know how he managed to find confidence to say or do any of this but Boris' prior words had spurred him on. Boris chuckled, knocking his knuckles against Theo's head, which was usually a silent way of saying 'idiot'
"Maybe don't call your love stupid but yeah that's actually perfect. If I were him, I would be on my knees thanks to you," huh? Theo was going to cry. Like, too many emotions had happened all at once. He wasn't used to feeling so much so soon and now he was going to bawl his eyes out and cry into Popchyk because what the actual fuck?
Boris knelt down to give Popper a swift pet and grabbed his bag to leave. His father was home that day and he'd rather not need another excuse to explain an injury.
Popchyk, tilted his head, standing at Theo's feet. It was actually comical, it looked like they both were watching him leave. Maybe Theo should've ran after, but all of this was too embarrassing. Stupid poetry book getting him in this situation in the first place.
More importantly, stupid Boris for being so чертовски глупый. Theo fell onto his bed, homework long forgotten and mostly done anyways for him to care.
Boris walked home, the sun was setting and it was cool in the usually hot place. There wasn't a need for the umbrella due to how low the sun had gotten so he just relished in the windy weather and silence. The only sound being rustles of the few leaves and his shoes against the pavement of the road. Oddly enough, just thinking about life while he walked. Because as much as a goofball and usually bad of an influence that he may be, he could be very serious and philosophical (mainly drunk though but even sober he had his moments).
His dad was on the couch, absentmindedly watching TV and when the front door opened he simply greeted the boy who froze in place. Not from fear, no, just out of realization. Mr. Pavlikovsky bore witness to Boris slapping his hand again his forehead and dashing out of the house, the only explanation the father got was a hurried and out of breath, "Вибачте, скоро повернуся!"
Boys.
"Черт, это больно, почему я побежал?" He panted in Russian when he finally made it back to the Deckers. Larry had let him in without questioning what the Ukrainian boy was doing panting at his doorstep for. He knew he must've been forever Theo though, so whatever.
"Theo, дерьмо" he was still catching his breath. Who lied and said that tall people could run? Boris was sure he almost tripped five times along the way and he was definitely not fit for this. "I'm sorry, I- you meant that for me, right? Because if not then this is kinda awkward but if so then I'm an idiot, I-" he exhaled, "I love you too, very much Potter, I didn't mean to not get it." Well he really hoped he didn't misread the situation because if Theo had just meant it for practice then now he knew Boris liked him. Luckily he seemed to have been right because Theo smiled and actually laughed.
"I did mean it for you fucker, and don't worry, I love you and your slowass" Both of them laughed before Boris interrupted it with a kiss. Still chuckling into the intimate action.
"So, those poems were for me?" Boris asked, leaning his head against Theo's.
"If that wasn't incredibly obvious, then yes" Theo may have been talking normally but he was sure his knees were shaking and his face must've been like a beet by now.
Boris just smiled and kissed him again. He may have lied to his father when he said that he'll be back, he wasn't sure if he wanted to be a part tonight. Not when he finally had Theo as romantically as he wanted. It no longer had to be strictly platonic.