Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Japan created a chat

Japan added 50+ people to the chat

Japan: hello people I created this chat for us to bond and form everlasting relationships of any kind. Feel free to talk whatever bs here lol.

Japan renamed the chat to “the chaotic hellhole of school”

Japan: oh and also

Japan removed admin from everyone

Japan locked the chat

Singapore is online

Singapore: girl wtf is this its like 1.23 AM

Japan: I’m bored okay

Japan: also why are you up at this time too

Singapore: homework

Singapore: wait no

Singapore: correction: revision for future topics

Japan: and what are those topics?

Singapore: sec 4 biology

Japan: GIRL WTF YOU’RE ONLY SEC 1

Singapore: and I don’t give a fuck lmfao l + ratio + dumbass

Japan: you know what I’m too tired for this shit go back doing your weird ass revision bye

Singapore: uh lmao sure ig

Singapore: are you going back to sleep?

Japan: uh maybe if my brother doesn’t do his weird ass experiments and shits

Singapore: what experiments?

Japan: very inhumane ones

Singapore: okay never mind lol don’t tell me the shits he did

Japan: good lol

Singapore and Japan are offline

*a few hours later cause no one else is awake*

North Korea and 5+ others are online

North Korea: why tf is SK and Japan fighting in the canteen

North Korea: why are some people eating popcorn and watching this shit

North Korea: what the fuck

North Korea: I am so confused

Switzerland: don’t worry, I am too.

North Korea: SHIT THERE ARE TEACHERS IN HERE TOO????

UN: yes

ASEAN: yes

North Korea: @Japan @Japan get tf online now

Japan is online

Japan: WHAT NOW I’M FIGHTING YOUR BITCH ASS BROTHER

Japan: oh them? They’re friendly dw lol

Japan is offline

North Korea: are none of you going to stop them?

China: I don’t think they can anymore

UN: I tried to at the start of the year but ended up in the hospital for a few days.

North Korea: god damn

ASEAN: ngl those 2 are feral af

ASEAN: also just want to say if y’all get any other teacher injured I’m coming for you’re asses.

China: god damn we get it lesbians

ASEAN: we get it too, gay ass

China: fuck you

UN: funny, why don’t you do it to that boyfriend of yours?

Singapore: GOD DAMN

ASEAN: speechless

China:

North Korea:

Singapore:d you guys didn’t do that?

China is offline

North Korea: FUCK YOU STFU

North Korea: MY SEX LIFE IS NON OF YOUR BUSINESS

Russia: um sure lol

North Korea: what.

North Korea: oh and also finally Russia broke those 2 up

Russia: yes I did.

North Korea: he said that “they were disturbing his peace”

UN: ngl I would stop them too

UN: also y’all get off your phones lessons are starting

North Korea: um lmao sure soon

Japan: emphasis on “soon”

North Korea: oh lmao you’re alive

Japan: I am not the vice president of the sword fighting club for a reason

South Korea: uh sure…

South Korea: you do have connections though.

Japan: fucking no what

Japan: you’re jealous?

South Korea: fuck no

Japan: also

Japan renamed South Korea to SK

Japan renamed North Korea to NK

Singapore: its so fucking cold I’m wearing two layers of jackets

Russia: how many degrees?

Singapore: about 18

Russia: pathetic

Singapore: how do you survive this weather

Russia: I just do

Russia: its not even cold

Russia: I once climbed a whole ass mountain in -45 degrees snow storm

Singapore: what the actual fuck.

Ukraine: I hate to agree but he did actually do that when he was 12

Singapore: clearly fatherless behaviour

Russia: excuse me what the actual fuck.

Ukraine: damn you touched a nerve there

Ukraine: but Father did actually follow him up that god forsaken mountain  

Singapore: y’all took the wrong kind of crack fr

Ukraine: agreed

Indonesia: wait @Ukraine how do you know this shit

Ukraine: holy shit when were you online

Indonesia: always lol

Indonesia: but how do you know

Indonesia: are you like siblings

Ukraine: unfortunately yes

Indonesia: FR?/???

Ukraine: YES????/

Indonesia: lore bomb fr

Ukraine: IS IT THAT SURPRSIGN?/??

Indonesia: y’all are like SK and Japan

Indonesia: feral af

Indonesia: so I assumed that y’all have some secret grudges against each other or smth like those two

Ukraine: you aren’t wrong with that fr

Russia: well it started when they wouldn’t stop beatboxing when Father was dying

Ukraine: omg you respect my pronouns?

Russia: I hate you but I have set boundaries and limits

Singapore: omg considerate siblings irl????

Russia: as I was saying

Russia: this bitch was laughing their ass off with the rest of the 15 of us during my father’s funeral

Indonesia: hold up what???

Ukraine: broski you’re the only one who cares about that abusive fuck the 15 of us don’t. Can’t relate fr.

Indonesia: 15 of y’all????

Belarus: USSR that dick had me, Russia, Ukraine and Kazakhstan then adopted 12 more homeless kids

Latvia: I did not ask to get picked up by a communist prick

Estonia: ^

Lithuania: ^

UN: why the fuck are all of you texting now? Lessons are going on.

Russia: shit fuck

Singapore: oh well lol

Ukraine: uh bye

Indonesia: adios

Singapore, Russia, Ukraine and 3+ others are offline

Chapter Text

[The chaotic hellhole of school]

Singapore and 4+ others are online

Singapore: LMFAO WHAT IS THIS

China: what is what?

NK: ^

Japan: gay ass bitches

NK: bruh shut your goofy furry yee yee ahh ass up no one likes you. You are merely nothing but just a human on this planet. Your existence is unimportant and no one will remmebhbGJJHGIUJGGUJK

China: my apologies he does get a bit feral with his death threats

Japan: damn okay

Singapore: as I was saying

Singapore: I was watching one of the white countries eat spicy shit

Singapore: and they looked like they were on life support the moment they put ate single slice of chili 

Singapore: I died laughing it was too hilarious

India: whoever that was, pathetic.

Indonesia: can agree lol

Japan: rip bozo to that white kid lol

Thailand: are spirts/ghosts actually real

Germany: yes

Japan: yes

China: yes

Thailand: being super honest here, I kinda doubt it

Japan: gimme a second lemmie add my brother he knows much more about this

Japan added Imperial Japan to the chat

China is offline

South Korea is offline

North Korea is offline

Imperial Japan: what is this…?

Japan renamed Imperial Japan to JE

Singapore: oh hell now why did you add that douchebag into this chat

Japan: dw my bro is much chill now they wont kill people now

Singapore: doubt

UN: I am super concerned about having a murderer in the chat

ASEAN: fuck this shit I’m out.

ASEAN is offline

JE: wow my pure existence scared the living shit out of some people. Nice achievement ngl.

Taiwan: I refuse to believe that that’s him.

JE: then don’t. I don’t give a fuck.

Taiwan: uh alright then

Singapore: Japan please kill him for me

Japan: sorry girlie but they’re my bro I cant do that

JE: lmao pussies

Japan: anyways back to topic

Japan: @Thailand your answer

Thailand: oh?

JE: spirits and ghosts are indeed real. I have encountered various that include some dead ass children who wont stop bothering me.

Thailand: ah, ok…

Thailand is offline

Japan: you fucking scared her off

JE: what am I supposed to say? Sorry?

Japan: yes

JE: I refuse.

Japan: I will strangle you.

JE: oh and your 1 mil word ChiNorth slow burn fic looks like its ready to be released.

China and North Korea are online

Japan: you know what shutting up rn.

China: I am speechless.

NK: Bitch what did you write.

Japan: I had 5 years to write it okay

NK: well fuck you. Delete it now.

Japan: cant it has over 300K kudos on A03

NK: Impressive, but i fucking hate you.

Singapore: who tops in that fic though /gen

Japan: its so obvious

Japan: you can already guess

Singapore: check PMs is it him

Japan: correct lmfao

NK: please kill me.

JE: oh? You sure?

NK: yes.

JE is offline

NK: wait a mcfucking moment.

NK @Japan @Japan @Japan GET THE FUCK ONLINE NOW MY LIFE IS AT RISK GET YOUR BITCH ASS BROHTERFSBFHSVJDHV

NK is offline

China: you better help him fucker

Japan: damn shit alright I’m coming

UN: I am too.

Japan is offline

UN is offline

*after some strangling lol*

JE: god damn you could have joined your dad fr

NK: well fuck you

SK: well fuck you

Japan: holy shit they replied at the same time

China: who tf took my meds.

NK: ^

Japan: omg it’s the defensive white amor white knight shit gay ass bitches.

NK: you know what bitch

NK: @China can i?

China: sure, she has a 65.32% chance of being a suspect anyways.

Japan: what the fuck why is the percentage so accurate-

NK: Japan, I’m only saying this once before I come and beat your ass up. If you have my boyfriend’s medication, I suggest that you either give it back to me or him right now. If you have it and don’t, I will ask Russia to give me your home address. I will break into your house, hack into your computer and publish whatever fanfics you wrote of our schoolmates. I will send the link to everyone in this group chat and watch you die from embarrassment. I will be standing a few metres away, laughing my ass off at you. This group chat consists of teachers so they will find you and give you punishment for having pornography. I will make sure you get the worst punishment ever to exist and it will degrade both your physical and mental health. After some time, you will eventually die. No one will miss you.

Japan: what the actual mcfucking fuck.

Japan: it has been barely 1 min how did you type that entire shit out

NK: skill

SK: he has accomplished the art of creating the most creative death threats since he was 10.

Japan: what the actual fuck

Japan: and being srs here I really don’t have your bf’s medication I’m not some masochistic asshole who to kill someone by taking away their meds

Japan: @JE do you have it

JE: maybe, idk. I found it on the floor before leaving your school.

Japan: send pic pls I don’t want my fics to be published

JE sent a picture

China: wait wtf

China: those are indeed my meds

China: give it back imbecile

JE: get it yourself dumbfuck

NK: you know what

NK: @Japan you’re coming with me to get those meds back

Japan: what how is this my problem now

NK: 1. Your brother/sister/sibling is a literal serial killer that killed and abused many people before

NK: 2. I still have PTSD from your brother and you’re the only one who can stand against him.

Japan: god damn it okay

NK: school front entrance now

Japan: coming coming just got excused

NK and Japan are offline

SK: the great adventures of death threat king and, currently airing season 1 episode 1

China: subscribed

Singapore: what the fuck just happened

Chapter Text

*I changed the chat name because I said so*

[Gay ass bitches]

South Korea and 10+ others are online

SK: @NK stop slapping me with your tie it’s a Monday its too early for this shit

NK: no

SK: ugh fuck

SK: @China come get your bitch

China is online

China: the fuck do you want twink

China: oh.

China: fucking fine 

SK: thank fucking god

NK and China are offline

SK: BRUH

SK: WTF

SK: CAN YALL NOT MAKE OUT IN THE CLASSROOM????

Japan is online

Japan: what the fuck is happening

Japan: oh

Japan: oh yeah that

Singapore: gay ass bitches

Japan: do that shit in the bathrooms or smth my ears are bleeding @NK @China

NK is online

NK: fine you fuckers

NK is offline

UN: i have seen too much

UN: I really need to dunk my head into the toilet bowl I cant do this anymore

ASEAN: Please babe don’t

ASEAN: the toilet water isn’t clean

ASEAN: plus you’re a lesbian you cant die

UN: god damn babe wait you’re right

Singapore: i don’t know whether I should be afraid of the fact that ASEAN and UN said “babe” or the fact that UN wanted to choke in piss water

UN: IT WAS A SPURT OF A MOMENT THING I DIDN’T ACTUALLY MEAN IT WTF

我跟你的妈结婚了: what the fuck is with people in this generation

Singapore: who tf is this goofy ahh mf with a Chinese name 😭

Japan: “I married your mom” 😭

我跟你的妈结婚了: WAIT WTF DIDN’T I CHANGE MY NAME????

我跟你的妈结婚了 changed their name to Free Thai

Free Thai: much better

Thailand: brother how and why are you doing here?

Singapore: your brother????

Free Thai: wanted to meet your school mates and stuff lol

Myanmar: wait aren’t you like dead

Free Thai: maybe

Japan: WAIT LITERALLY OR /J????

Myanmar: wtf do you think

JE: oops

Free Thai: oh yeah brb gonna choke someone real quick

JE: oh will you look at the time goodbye

Free Thai and JE are offline

Japan: did I just get lore bombed

Singapore: we all got lore bombed wdym

Malaysia: just a random thought

Malaysia: some of our nicknames literally are like nouns or verbs or smth like:

Malaysia: Imperial Japan/Japanese Empire is called Imperial/Empire for short

Malaysia: Singapore is called Singa

Malaysia: mine is Malay/Mal while Thailand’s Thai

Malaysia: and how the Korean brothers are named after one of the four directions each

Japan: I get what you mean but what’s wrong with Singa’s?

Malaysia: it literally means ‘lion’ 😭

Japan: NO WAY CAP?/??????

Singapore: as much as I hate to admit it, he is not wrong.

Singapore: though I will appreciate it if you continue calling me that. My name is quite a mouthful to say.

Japan: sure lol

Russia: did we just ignore the fact that UN and ASEAN are dating/married or smth

Japan: HOLY FUCK HOW DID I MISS THAT OML

Japan: GAY ASS BITCHES….

Singapore: eh I already knew

SK: YES

SK: I won the bet fucker

SK: now @NK where’s my $50

NK: FUCKING SHIT.

NK: FUCK YOU

China: are you short of funds? If so, I wont mind lending you some money if you need.

NK: na na it’s alright I do have money just infuriated at the fact that I lost to my son of a bitch brother

China: ah, alright.

China: <3

NK: .

NK: …<3

SK: omg a stable relationship irl???/? Shook fr.

NK: shut your goofy ahh ass up. I can talk normally like all of you twinks but I simply chose violence instead. Maybe you should go outside more, go touch grass and get a bitch.

SK: bruh wtf 😭

UN: i thought we were obvious enough?

ASEAN: don’t mind them they don’t have 200IQ min.

Singapore: sorry to break to you but I do indeed have over 200IQ

ASEAN: uh ok smart ass

China: should I eat glass shards?

Japan: broski wtf

Taiwan: I-

NK: Chi wtf-

China: sorry, it’s the intrusive thoughts winning

China: basically what happens when you are forced to endure and watch horrendous torture for more 5 years straight (*side eyes a specific someone*)

NK: are you actually okay?

China: physically and mentally no

China: but that’s normal

China: trauma makes me fucking hilarious

Japan: if it does, half of the entire world would be a circus

NK: you know what

NK: this afternoon

NK: in our room we have a chat. Okay?

China: what why-

NK: do not resist. I will drag you if you do.

China: uh well fine ig.

NK: good.

China and NK are offline

SK: you know what I actually kinda like those 2 as a couple

Japan: have to agree with this

Japan: boyfriends therapy session real!1!!!

*time skip hahahahhahah*

Russia: sometimes I just want to throw my chair at one of my siblings and drink vodka 24/7

Kazakhstan: please do not.

Russia: why not

Singapore: you aren’t of the legal drinking age.

Russia: since when did we countries have specific ages?

Singapore: shit you’re right

Singapore: but still

Singapore: don’t

Russia: ugh

Russia: I don’t know what the fuck to do right now

JE: blackmail that capitalist bastard

Russia: you know what

Russia: that actually sounds good

Russia is offline

Japan: since when were you online, brother?

JE: I survived the wrath of some angy child many times why wouldn’t I survive this one

Free Thai: unfortunately

China: unfortunately

Taiwan: unfortunately

NK: unfortunately

SK: unfortunately

Myanmar: unfortunately

Singapore: unfortunately

Malaysia: unfortunately

Indonesia: unfortunately

Philippines: unfortunately

JE: FFS

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

JE and 10+ others are online

JE: bruh some kid just walked up to me and asked if I liked Andrew Tate

JE: I don’t even know who that fucker is

JE: but I assumed that it was the child’s idol so I said ‘no’

JE: she just looked at me bamboozled, shook, flabbergasted like I just killed her parents or smth (which I ofc did not)

JE: and then just sworn a variety of curses right in my face before stomping off and finding other people to interrogate

Japan: who let this kid get on YT 😭

SK: who let that kid learn how to curse in the first place 😭

SK: wait

Japan: wait

SK: @NK did you meet this kid

NK and China are online

NK: wtf what kid

NK: I never seen one ever since I was like 12 or smth

Japan: what how

China: he never comes in contact with children so its unlikely he taught the one that the bastard met  

NK: more like you don’t let me see any

China: eh same thing

China: plus it’s necessary

UN: what did he do to get banned from having any contact with kids

UN: I’m curious

China: he once flung a kid off a swing

UN: wait what wtf

UN: literally?

China: yes literally

China: he pulled back the swing so back and when he let go

China: the kid was never seen again

Japan: woah woah what

China: flung into oblivion literally

NK: in my defence that bitch was on the swing for 30 whole minutes

Japan: oh hell naw that’s too long

Japan: now I get why you flung that fucker off

China: North, we’re literally (probably) full grown adults. A swing is a swing. You didn’t have to fucking FLING A CHILD for it.

NK: but but

NK: it’s a fucking swing

SK: I forgot to mention that we kinda didn’t experience childhood so he’s kinda relieving it now

China: oh

SK: also

SK: another time he strangled a kid for winning hide and seek

SK: the kid’s poor parent got hit badly in the face when they tried to stop this feral bitch

SK: USSR had to pick him by the shirt collar and drag him away

SK: and you know what he told him?

Japan: no

Japan: what did he say

SK: I quote directly,

SK: “Well done kid. Next time do it on the capitalist kids except more aggressively.”

Japan: BWAHAHAHHAHAHA WHAT REALLY????

Japan: and I assumed you got beaten up

SK: kinda

UN: it was kinda funny ngl watching it

SK: idk you’re kinda like my adoptive parent and all and helped me a lot and stuff but,

SK: fuck you

UN: no way I already have a girlfriend

SK: NOT THAT WAY GOD DAMN IT

UN: CHILL I WAS JOKING

Japan: mother and adoptive son fight!!!!1!/!!1 Who will win in this battle???? Place your bets here now!!!!!1!11

JE: aren’t children like a source of food or smth

Singapore: uh no??????

Japan: what the actual fuck

Japan: bro I told you to get therapy to curb your canibalistic urges what happened 

Imperial: idk they diagnosed me with almost every mental illness possible and declared my case “too insane to cure”

Japan: uh wtf

JE: wait what-

JE: wtf why tf are dshfihJLKHKABJSBFCSJVBSVHSBCS

JE is offline

Japan: what

Free Thai: dw I just strangled them

Japan: lmao what why are you using the right pronouns

UN: be like Free Thai, respect pronouns and shit on whoever you hate the most!!11!!

Free Thai: lmao what

Free Thai: but sure lol thank me later

Free Thai: I need both of my hands to choke this mf lol

Free Thai is offline

China: lmao get rekt

Japan: wait what

NK: wtf happened to you Chi no one says ‘rekt’ in 2023

China: idk I probably inhaled too much opium and/or weed

Singapore is online

China: oh shit

China is offline

Malaysia: wee woo wee woo the narcotics police is here

Singapore: what

Singapore: oh never mind

Singapore: I don’t give a fuck anyways

Malaysia: what

Laos: GUYS GUYS I JUST WITNESSED THE MOST FUNNIEST SHIT EVER

Cambodia: STFUUUUU

Vietnam: L bozo

Japan: what happened

Laos: you know today right

Laos: Vietnam was grabbing pads and was planning to throw away the plastic thingy

Laos: and Cambodia thought that the plastic she was holding was a fucking M&M plastic or smth

Japan: HALP WHAT 💀

Laos: and he yelled “gimmie that snack now”

Japan: oh lords

Laos: it was so fucking hilarious watching Vietnam attempting to shove that plastic down his throat

Japan: how does he not know-oh never mind

Cambodia: HEY I NEVER KNEW PERIODS AND PADS EXISTED OKAY//??>???

Myanmar, Philippines and 3+ others are online

Vietnam: dumbass

Laos: dumbass

Singapore: dumbass

Myanmar: dumbass

Malaysia: dumbass

Indonesia: dumbass

Philippines: dumbass

Brunei: dumbass

Cambodia: bruh some of y’all just came online to say that

Brunei: lmao yeah

Brunei is offline

Cambodia: I hate you all

Singapore: dw we love you too lol

Cambodia: FUCK

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

NK, China and 10+ others are online

NK: YOOOO LETS GVOOO I GOT 12/15 FOR HISTORY

Singapore: pathetic

Germany: oh lords that’s low

China: I will have to admit that’s quite low…

NK: bruh not you too Chi

China: sorry but its just low in my standards

NK: very respectfully,

NK: I don’t give a flying fuck <3

China: <3

Japan: and I quickly became homophobic

Thailand: oh no… D:

Japan: ITS /J THAI DW IM NOT HOMOPHOBIC DSBCBSJB

Japan: I literally publish many erotic and SFW gay fanfics how can I be homophobic

JE: can confirm

Thailand: ah, ok! :)

Japan: lmao almost got killed

Singapore: Thailand is too gentle and kind, she wont do that

Myanmar: oh bro you just haven’t seen her feral side yet

Singapore: now I’m worried

Myanmar: you should be

NK: also the 2 of you shut your goofy ahh ass up we get it you’re smart

NK: plus I got like the highest in class lmao suck deez nuts

China: I would not mind being subjected to that

NK: what.

Japan: HALP WHAT

China: ?

China: oh.

China: never mind.

China: ignore what I just said

Japan: uh sure lol

JE: Japan: screenshots x5 for blackmail

Japan: lies

JE: no you

NK: bruh wtf why is the class discussing about if birds shit or not

Japan: idk man but I think they do

Singapore: they do not produce urine.

Japan: bro why do you know this

Singapore: 1. I know everything

Singapore: 2. Birds only shit and never piss in my house

Japan: EW WTF WHY ARE BIRS HSITTING INYOUR HOSUE

NK: ew that spelling

Japan: stfu I’m literally taller and older than you

Singapore: lmao what

Singapore: also I have slaughtered more birds than JE’s victims count

JE: damn that’s millions of poor birds slaughtered

Singapore: it’s a fucking hyperbole dumbass fuck

Japan: lmao imagine being called dumb by the smartest country in the current world

JE: well @Singapore fuck you

Malaysia: wait so @Singapore that’s where you get the “free chicken meat: from???/??

Singapore: yeah  

ASEAN: please tell me they do not contain any form of contamination

Japan: WAIT SHW COOKS THAT SHIT??????

Singapore: yeah so what about it

Singapore: it would be a huge waste of meat fr

Singapore: also @ASEAN if they were indeed poisoned/contaminated how are you alive

ASEAN: Just making sure ya know

Vietnam: yo you know today right

Vietnam: me and the commie homies hanging out

America: ew, communists.

Vietnam: bruh shut the fuck up you capitalist shit

America: no

Vietnam: anyways,

Vietnam: I made green fire

Vietnam: cool ass shit fr

Japan: ISNT THAT HOT ASS SHIT??? RUN

Vietnam: WHAT REALLY???

Singapore: green fire is a chemical reaction between copper and fire.

Singapore: There’s nothing to worry about but still turn the stove off to let it cool down

Singapore: your food would taste like weird gas it’s disgusting

Vietnam: where tf did the copper come from

NK: the base of the copper egg frying pan you fucking dumbass swine

Vietnam: oh yeah right lol

Vietnam: and you cant threaten me I have the power of communism, trees and rice farmers on my side bozo

Singapore: she’s too overpowered we cant beat her

Russia: Japan why the fuck are you reading smutfics in class

Japan: HOW DID YOU SEE THAT

Russia: I hacked the Apple TV control in the class to see whatever you’re browsing

Russia: plus I literally sit behind you

UN: shes what now

Japan: uh adios

Japan is offline

JE: how did you know that she was reading smutfics?

Russia: I’ve seen sentences like “penetrate deeply in their *vjj*” and “hands traced over their *slong*”

UN: teenagers ugh

Singapore: bruh this is my first time to the 3 floor girls bathroom and god damn, its so bad

Singapore: the first cubicle is a fucking squatting urinal, someone had a huge shit and didn’t flush in the second cubicle, third cubicle some lady had their period and didn’t fucking flush the tissue away, the lid to sit our asses on plus the cover in the fourth cubicle was fucking gone.

Singapore: I had to leave that toilet for another one it was too disgusting and rancid for my OCD to handle

Thailand: so sorry I might have been the one who stole the toilet covers

Singapore: you WHAT now

Thailand: in my defence, I used it for self defence

Thailand: there was this creepy af dude who stalks me all the time in school

Thailand: I had enough of him so I bashed him in the head with the toilet seat

Singapore: you know what that makes sense

Malaysia: I don’t see how bashing someone in their head makes sense but defending yourself? Hell yeah queen!!

Thailand: thank you thank you

Germany: the girls toilet is only that dirty?

Germany: the boys toilet is literally smeared with shit and piss everywhere

Singapore: EWWWW WTFF

Japan: I am utterly disgusted

Germany: the floor is wet all the time with piss

Germany: the rest of the schoolmates can’t shit fr

Japan: I hate you so much Germany I hate you so much

Japan: never discuss whatever goes on in the boys toilet ever again its so disgusting puking vomiting on god rn

Japan: this is what I get for writing that slow burn fanfic of you and Poland isn’t it

Germany: yes and no

Japan: HJJCDVFJCSVBJHCBVSDJFDBJGSJNGF

Japan is offline

Singapore: shit she suddenly passed out you killed her

Singapore: @Germany what have you done

Germany: ehe :)

Italy: he’s fucking possessed someone get an exorcist who isn’t that furry person

Germany: my apologies, all of the messages above were written by my uncle

Italy: isn’t he dead or smth

Germany: yeah he posses me sometimes

Singapore: what’s with people and ghosts fr

Free Thai: lmao

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

JE and 10+ others are online

JE: I don’t know which one of you did this but,

JE: whoever commissioned me to draw AND write a whole ass fic of Foul Legacy Childe x Dragon Zhongli hardcore smutfic Mpreg and whatever shit the tags were,

JE: here is the mcfucking link to your horrid product

JE: have a fucking horrible day ahead

JE sent a link

Japan: bro why are you sending that in the public chat

JE: because I know that they’re def in here (and didn’t you want to read it?)

JE: plus weren’t you the one who commissioned me?

Japan: ew wtf what ofc not (lmao yeah I will after school)

Japan: the original sender was too much of a pussy to ask themselves so they asked me personally to ask you cause they know we are siblings and shit

JE: imagine being such a pussy to even send a request

Japan: well you are feared by many

JE: pussies

Japan: just, stfu.

Japan: ANYWAYS SOOOO

Japan: talk about the couples and stupid people pinning go

SK: I still remember the days when China and North were like “only friends” and they would get so fidgety and easily embarrassed around each other within like 100m radius

SK: and this went on for like 5 years it was so boring

Japan: lmao yeah we were basically the wing people

Singapore: 5 whole years????

SK: yeah they were like “I like them but what if they don’t like me what if they weren’t gay” hart broken emoji uwu crying tears emoji

NK: BRUH WHY US

NK: AND FUCK YOU I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

SK: uh huh uh huh

SK: y’all were pinning each other so badly that I could sense when you two were alone and blushing furiously at each other just by talking like

Japan: that shits so fruity you two are basically the whole fruit market itself smh

China: was it that obvious?

Japan: to everyone else but you two yeah

Taiwan, Hong Kong and Macau are online

Japan: holy shit the trio got summoned

Hong Kong: yo what’s up guys

Hong Kong: I smell gay and see gay

Hong Kong: so

Taiwan: don’t

Macau: do it

Hong Kong: lmao what

Hong Kong: anyways

Hong Kong: I just so seem to have some blackmail about these two lmao

China: what

Hong Kong: >>:)))))

Japan: send it bbg

Hong Kong: ofc

Hong Kong sent an image

Attachment:

Direct Messages: Hong Kong and China

            China: help how can he be this fucking adorable like

            China: I just want to like hug him affectionately and kiss him on the lips like the characters in Japan’s BL fics or something

            China: if he wants to borrow money from me like I will give him twice or thrice as much hugghhgu

            China: if he ask me to get on my knees and suck his dick I def would like AUGH

            Hong Kong: DAD WTF 💀

Japan: AYO WTF??/??

NK: .

NK is offline

China: BRUH I TOLD YOU TO DELETE THOSE MESSAGES TF

Hong Kong: I refuse 🥰

China: I THOUGHT I CLEARED THE FUCKING CHAT TOO HOW

Hong Kong: that’s not how WeChat works dumbass

China: FUCK

Macau: “If he asks me to get on my knees and suck his dick I def would” 💀

China: bruh just stfu please

Vietnam: lmao I can see him blush furiously AND HE’S FUCKING HAS RED SKIN

China: fucking bye bitches

China is offline

Singapore; lmao they left

Japan: girl why are you reading that “come a little closer” Tartali Smut fic

Singapore: I have a fucking VPN on wtf how do you see this

Japan: broski there is no need to hide

Japan: your wallpapers are basically the ginger crusty ass and the hot af smegsy dude

Japan: plus I recommended you some fics

Japan: and I helped you co-

Singapore: OK OK I GET JUST STFU

Singapore: I’M READIGN A SMUTFIC IN CLASS SO WHAT?/??

Japan: just be careful bbg

Japan: I nearly got caught once, nearly had a heart attack lol

Singapore: uh sure ig

Singapore: just saying, I’m not as stupid as you

Japan: >:((((((

Malaysia: Singa is a closeted Genshin fan fr her rooms are basically filled with genshin merch

Singapore: bro just stfu

Malaysia: no 🥰😍

Singapore: I swear to god I’m just going to eat toilet paper at this point

Malaysia: then do it

Singapore: I will eat your test papers

Malaysia: WHAT THE FUCK DON’T FINE I WILL STOP JUST

Singapore: :)))))

JE: is it just me or does paint look so bussin

Japan: its just you

Singapore: its just you

Germany: its just you

Italy: its just you

Malaysia: its just you

JE: what

JE: anyways I’m kinda doing art and shit and god damn the paint looks more appetising than whatever sauce you call it

Japan: pink sauce???/?

JE: lmao yeah that one

Japan: that shit was alive like a few months ago why do you remember it

JE: I have no fucking idea

Germany: I said this many times but I’m going to repeat it again,

Germany: boy you can’t just eat whatever shit you find including grass and humans you mf

Germany: sorry that was my uncle again

JE: just tell him to stfu

Germany: I would rather not

JE: well tell him that for me

Germany: I will let him see for himself, I guess.

Germany: FUCK YOU YOU FURRY PIECE OF SHIT I WISH YOU DIED IN THAT NUCLEAR EXPLOSION FUCK YOU

JE: WELL FUCK YOU STAY DEAD

Germany: GO FUCKING SUCK ON A DICK

JE: WHY DON’T YOU DO IT FIRTST PUSSY BOY??? SUCKING DICK LIKE YOUR WHORE PARENTS

Germany: DO NOT FUKCING BRING MY FAMILY INTO THIS SHIT

Germany: PLUS AT LEAST THEY CARED AND ACCEPTED ME UNLIKE YOUR GOOFY AHHH ASS MOM

JE: FUCK YOU I’LL FUGHT YOUR GHOST YEE YEE AHH ASS

Germany: SCHOOL FIELD NOW. UNLESS YOU’RE A PUSSY

JE: FUCK YOU I’M GOING TO BEAT YOU TO A PULP

Japan: *sips tea* ahh, boomer fights

Italy: I wish I had some of condeese to go with that

Thailand: what is ‘condeese’?

Free Thai: FUCK NO SISTER WHYY

Italy: CONDEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH HA

Thailand: .

Thailand: I will find you and kick your teeth in.

Italy: fuck

Japan: run bitch boy run

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

20+ nicknames have been changed

20+ people are online

Twitter porn artist: ayo wtf what is this

Twitter porn artist: WHAT I’M NOT A FUCKING TWITTER PORN ARTIST WHO TF MADE THIS NICKNAME

Secretly enjoys reading Mpreg: what

Secretly enjoys reading Mpreg: this is utter lies and bullshit I will kill whoever did this shit I do not fucking enjoy Mpreg

Has a hair pulling kink: why did all our names change

Has a hair pulling kink: bruh wtf I don’t have a hair pulling kink what tf is wrong with people

Infinite money scheme: lmao what y’all’s names are so fucking cursed

Twitter porn artist: hey why tf do you get a normal name

Infinite money scheme: its because I’m not as weird as you guys?

Infinite money scheme: smh fr

Eats rocks: lmao what is this

Eats rocks: I’m coming clean I do indeed eat rocks

Eats rocks: bye bye have fun guessing me

Eats rocks is offline

Feral satanic demon: what the fuck

Feral satanic demon: wtf does satanic even mean I’m not Christian/Catholic

Twitter porn artist: Satan is the ruler of hell and satanic is like comparing someone to him yk

Twitter porn artist: how do you not know this

Twitter porn artist: its literally common knowledge

Feral satanic demon: idk bruh

Feral satanic demon: also I’m not that fucking feral I hate everyone’s names they suck like hell

Knows where you live: why are there so many mcfucking messages

Knows where you live: ayo what

Knows where you live: yk what this is actually true so don’t even try fucking with me or I will send bombs to ur house /srs

The ice cream machines never works: bruh shut ur goofy ahhh communist ass up Russia every time you speak a human somewhere gets a stroke

Knows where you live has been renamed Russia

Secretly enjoys reading Mpreg: a guessing game?

Twitter porn artist: well that’s interesting

Twitter porn artist: leaning everyone’s dark secrets is so exciting!

Has a hair pulling kink: no its fucking not

Twitter porn artist: wait yk what you got a point

Secretly enjoys Mpreg: girl changed opinions as fast as Italy’s dad when he was given the choice to leave the x&y axis

Mama Mia don’t break the fucking Spaghetti: 💀

Secretly enjoys reading Mpreg: I can guess who some of you are so here I go ig

Twitter porn artist: oh no

Secretly enjoys Mpreg: @Twitter porn artist is definitely Japan. I have seen your works and well, yeah.

Twitter porn artist has been renamed to Japan

Cannibal + grass eater: bruh wtf I thought you were more stable

Japan: stfu JE you literally eat humans and grass

Cannibal + grass eater has been renamed to Imperial Japan/Japanese Empire

Japan renamed Imperial Japan/Japanese Empire to JE

Secretly enjoys reading Mpreg: you can change the nicknames, Japan? Why not just reset all the names and change it back to their short forms?

Japan: sorry Singa girlie for some weird reason I can only rename people after we guess their names and shit

Japan: even though I have admin there seems to be some form of outer power controlling this shit

Secretly enjoys Mpreg has been renamed to Singapore

Singapore: omfg finally

Singapore: AND I DON’T ENJOY MPREG TF

Russia: lies

Russia: I’ve hacked your A03 and Microsoft 360 acc and seen your works and bookmarks you cant bluff us anymore

Singapore: bruh stop hacking into my accounts 😭

Russia: no heart shape eyes (NOT A QUACKING SHIP)

Singapore: ugh anyways

Singapore: @Feral satanic demon could describe quite a lot of people but I bet most of them are dead or smth so I’m taking a wild guess that the person is NK

Feral satanic demon has been renamed North Korea

Japan renamed North Korea to NK

NK: OMFG (atheist) FINALLY

NK: And fuck whoever changed the names I am not a fucking feral satanic demon

Has a hair pulling kink: I disagree with that

NK: Chi,

NK: kindly and respectfully,

NK: stfu.

Has a hair pulling kink has been renamed to People’s Republic of China

Japan renamed People’s Republic of China to China

Japan: broski why tf is your default name like the formal long ass one

China: blame my brother he stole the OG name

Smart but freakishly twinky and scrawny: fuck you you piece of shit I did not steal the name

Singapore: that’s def Taiwan

Smart but freakishly twinky and scrawny has been renamed to People’s Republic of China

Japan has renamed People’s Republic of China to Taiwan

Taiwan: wtf is with these names fr

Taiwan: Especially yours brother do you have a fucking hair pulling kink that’s absolutely disgusting

China: no I fucking don’t why would I

Japan: @NK is this true

NK: WHAT

NK: oh that?

NK: I’m not going to reveal our sex lives to a chat with over 100 people or smth smh learn what privacy is first dumbass fucks

NK is offline

Japan: god damn it

Singapore: going on,

Singapore: @Infinite money scheme is Macau

Infinite money scheme has been renamed to Macau

Macau: god damn I thought no one would be able to guess that

Singapore: @The ice cream machines never works is America

The ice cream machines never works has been renamed to United States of America

Japan renamed United States of America to America

Japan: @Mama Mia don’t break the fucking Spaghetti is Italy

Mama Mia don’t break the fucking Spaghetti has been renamed to Italy

Japan: I got bashed in the head by him once when I broke the spaghetti. Traumatising really

Italy: you shouldn’t have BROKE the fucking spaghetti IN HALF in the first place

Japan: IT COULDN’T FIT THE POT

Italy: THEN LET IT BOIL UNTIL THE BOTTOM IS SOGGY THEN PUSH IT DOWN OR SMTH

Japan: oh 

Singapore: idfk who tf eats rocks is so someone help me out here

Russia: its Kazakhstan

Russia: he eats rocks on a daily basis and it scares me

Eats rocks has been renamed to Kazakhstan

Japan: WHY DOES HE EAT ROCKS THAT’S SCARY

Kazakhstan: it’s crunchy

Japan: yk what I’m not going to ask any further good night

Japan: you all better go to sleep too

Singapore: fine

Japan, Singapore and 10+ others are offline

20+ nicknames have been reset and changed

Chapter Text

[Tartali/Zhongchi chat gang]

Eats fics for dinner, Lion qwen and 2+ others are online

Eats fics for dinner: hey so which troupe should I do guys

Needs to touch grass: prbly angst or a slow burn idk

Lion qwen: OMEGA VERSE TOTALLY /j

Eats fics for dinner: SINGA STOP

Lion qwen: no <3 /p

Lion qwen: but seriously, maybe some like really thikkkkk sexual tension or smth

Lion qwen: I had a draft that I just wrote in class out of boredom heheha

Needs to touch grass: how do you get straight A+s without listening in class?

Lion qwen: I just revise like 2 years early

Needs to touch grass: what the actual fuck

Lion qwen: ANYWAYS

Lion qwen shared a document

Lion qwen: feel free to edit the document lmao

Eats fics for dinner: HOLY FUCK THAT’S SOME THICCC ASS TENSION *eats fics cutely*

Needs to touch grass: its so funny how eating someone’s work is basically some form of complement to works lmao

Lion qwen: POV: when you eat your bestie’s art *heart eyes emoji*

Eats fics for dinner: LMAO THAT’S SO CURSED YET TRUE AT THE SAME TIME BWAHAHHAHA

Lion qwen: girlie make sure you don’t smile too much or ASEAN/UN would like catch you

Eats fics for dinner: dw bout me bestie hahahhahaha

Eats fics for dinner: THE WAY THAT ZL JUST HELPS CHILD(E) WITH HIS CHAPSTICKS (in fics) IS SO FUCKING GAY LIKE BRO DEF JUST WANTED TO OTUCH HANDS

Needs to touch grass: fr fr

:D: don’t you think those two remind you of China and NK a lot?

Eats fics for dinner: AYO SINCE WHEN WERE YOU HERE??? /gen

:D: I got added because Singa found out I kinda ship these characters haha

Eats fics for dinner: OOOOOHHHHH NICE NICE NICE

Eats fics for dinner: Japan here btw

Eats fics for dinner: AND YOOOO WHAT YOU SAID WAS SO TRUE LIKE /srs

Lion qwen: China is so ZL like both of them are chill, knowledgeable, dragon human things, old grandpas who know a lot of history, doesn’t resort to violence unless necessary

Lion qwen: while NK is so Childe like dumbasses who won’t hesitate to join fights for fun, reckless, can actually fight really well, has some secret trauma dump that led to their violent tendencies, and is prbly currently plotting someone’s murder

Needs to touch grass: sorry to interrupt but like I just came up with a random ass theory and would like to share it

Lion qwen: go ahead ig

Needs to touch grass: like yk how we’re now just a different breed of humans who represent different countries nothing else

Needs to touch grass: what if in another universe we not only represent the countries we are but like are also leaders of them

Needs to touch grass: and whatever happened to history like happens to us

Needs to touch grass: like how the two bombs dropped on my country right

Needs to touch grass: what if I was coincidentally in both of the cities when the bombs dropped

Needs to touch grass: then I got some form of nuclear cancer

Needs to touch grass: but somehow survived even until now because of youkai magic/immunity or smth

Lion qwen: that sounds so bizarre I don’t think it isn’t a lie /srs

Eats fics for dinner: friendly reminder to not get sidetracked from the chat’s original purpose lol

Lion qwen: ofc we wouldn’t bbg /p

Lion qwen: these are just some minor side discussions hehe

[Gay ass bitches]

20+ people are online

Russia: AT MIDNIGHT FACING A MIRROR ALONE

NK: “WHO ARE YOU?”

Russia: “WHO AM I?”

NK: I ASKED BUT RECEIVED NO REPLY

Russia: GO CRAZY x7

NK: OH, I’M BECOMING A NEW ME

Russia: LOOK AT ME NOW

NK: TOUCH ME NOW

Russia: DRESSED UP IN TRANSPARENT CLOTHES

NK: TODAY I EMERGE FROM A CHRYSALIS AS A BUTTERFLY

Russia: NOW THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING ME

Japan: THERE ARE NO OTHER DANCERS ON THIS STAGE

NK: I WILL COUNT 1, 2, 3

Russia: NOW I DANCE ALONE ON THIS LONELY STAGE

NK: YES, YES I’M GOING CRAZY!!1!

Singapore: did these bozos just sang the 81% accurate English lyrics of “Abnormality Dancing girl”

Japan: some of the lyrics are like grammatically wrong lmao but since I love the song too I’m not going to correct them

JE: are you 3 mentally okay? The song’s meanings are not quite the…yk.

NK: who told you that we’re mentally stable

NK: plus this song is like SOOOO fire

SK: ever since he heard Japan listening to it he won’t stop talking about Japanese songs someone stop him

Japan: lmao let him be

Japan: this is his peace and love phase (aka non violence + death threats phase)

SK: ugh fine

China: is the song that good? I’m oddly interested

Japan: ofc it fucking is (and ik you’re only listening to it because of ur bf gayass)

Japan: I also highly recommend the Utane Piko remix like the voice sounds so fitting ehheehahahh

China: uh okay ig…(and fuck you I was actually only generally interested)

Thailand: oh, are you all talking about songs!

Japan: yes bestie!!!! >:D (also my apologies dude)

Thailand: I saw this new anime called oshi no ko (I don’t remember the exact name lol) and the song “Idol” sounds so good! I couldn’t stop listening to it :D

Japan: OH THAT SONG!1!!

NK: I heard of it. It’s very nice

Thailand: ikr! I couldn’t stop listening to it!

Direct messages: Japan and NK

Japan: uh

Japan: do we tell her the true meaning of the song

NK: ofc not she’s too innocent to know

NK: just let her enjoy the song

NK: its like super good

Japan: ok lol

Japan: also do you want me to recommend you more cool af Japanese songs?

NK: If you can, sure

Japan: >:DDDD

Japan: just don’t revert back to your past self haha

NK: my violent side is not completely gone, but I got to admit that I feel much better listening to these songs

Japan: ur peace and love era lol

NK: I would usually type out a whole paragraph of death threats to that comment but since it was you who introduced me to this genre of music, I will let it slide.

Japan: AWWWW I LUV U SO MUCH NK /j + p (ik u already have a bf already hahaha)

NK: I guess I do too, but /p because 1. I have a boyfriend, 2. I’m not straight

Japan sent multiple links

NK: thank you.

Japan: NO PROB1!!!1!!

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

20+ people are online

Malaysia: help how do you solve 7x^2(x^2-1)-4(x^2-1)^2

Malaysia: ^2 equals to square btw

Singapore: bruh how do you not know its so easy

Malaysia: not everyone’s a genius like you yk

Singapore: you just sub (x^2-1) into y and solve it

Singapore: then add it back in

Malaysia: OHHHHH

Malaysia: thanks a lot bye

Malaysia is offline

Macau: bruh why am I still in the CO AA Performance

Macau: I literally did nothing in the rehearsal like I didn’t attend shit during CCA and I don’t know how to play shit

Hong Kong: how did you not learn shit bro???/?

Macau: “outside official matters”

Hong Kong: biggest bruh fr

Hong Kong: we all know that those “matters” are just excuses that you make to go gamble your money in that one Casino

Macau: hush you didn’t need to say it girl

Macau: I don’t even know what AA even means like everyone just calls it AA so I just go along with it

Hong Kong: it means Annual Awards you absolute dumbfuck

Macau: what the fuck even is that????

Hong Kong: ITS SUCH A BIG EVENT AND YOU NEVER HEARD OF IT?????

Macau: YEAH???? 😭😭

Taiwan: it’s basically an award ceremony with students including those that graduated

Macau: thanks bro

Taiwan: no prob

Singapore: Zhongli felt himself blush furiously as he got pushed against the walls of the golden house. The towering figure’s head was facing the ground, breath short and fast.

After some awkward silence, Childe looked up to face the brunette. His face was as red as a tomato, his now deep abyssal purple eyes staring into the depths of his soul with a hint of desperation in those gorgeous eyes. Ajax was sweating furiously, beads of sweat dripping off that beautiful face of his.

“ Zhongli…” he choked out, struggling to speak between pants.

“ I…”

“I need you for something…”

Singapore: that was just a draft y’all can edit it idrc I just came up with it within like 10 secs

Hong Kong: WHAT

Taiwan: eyes wide open 👁️👁️

Macau: jaw dropping to the ground 😱😱

Japan: GIRLLLLY NOOOOOO

Singapore: wait what

Malaysia is online

Malaysia: speechless

NK: I…have no idea what to say…

China: why tf is it good bruh

Singapore: SHIT WAIT FUCK BALLS AND COCK FUCK

Singapore: THIS ISNT FOR YOU ALL WTF

Singapore: WRONG GC WRONG GC FUCKCKKCKCKCKCKC

Japan deleted 2 messages

Japan: dw I saved it and sent it to the right gc

Singapore: you’re actually a life saver thank you so much omg

JE: dumbass fuck

Singapore: shut up you feral cat 🐱

Japan: HELP WHAT??/???

JE: 💀

ASEAN: Singa did you just write an intro for some fucking breeding kink sex smut fic or smth in 10 secs

Singapore: SHUT THE FUCK UP I DIDN’T

Japan: no one saw anything

NK: 👁️👁️

Japan: *cutely gouges out your eyes with a spoon and eats it*

NK: that is absolutely disgusting I’m going to forfeit the peace treaty if you don’t stfu

Japan: WAIT WHAT NOOOOO

Japan: fine only because the treaty exists

China: what did you do to him

Japan: he’s in his JPop phase now and he’s been relatively chill with when he hears these songs so we agreed to exchange songs and stuff

Malaysia: the power to tame Satan himself

Germany: nawr my brother is Satan himself

Germany: NK’s just a little demonic

Italy: brother??/?/?

Germany: *father

Germany: my twin bro is dead

Japan: TRAUMA DUMP ALERT TRAUMA DUMP ALERT 😱😱🤡💥🚨‼️‼️‼️

Germany: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FURRY ASS

Germany: my apologies (again)

Germany: my uncle keeps possessing my body unexpectedly

Japan: my dude that is not normal

Germany: eh I gotten used to it

JE: why not just add him here

Germany: uh sure ig

Germany: don’t blame me if you guys fight again

Germany: @Japan

Japan: lmao sure

Japan gave admin to Germany

Germany added Weimar Republic to the group chat

Germany renamed Weimar Republic to Weimar

Japan removed admin from everyone

Weimar: hello people

Free Thai: what’s up brooooo

Weimar: yo hello there dead friend

Japan: now that I think of it

Japan: we don’t exactly know each other that well

Japan: why don’t we all do a mini intro of ourselves?

Weimar: wow topics do really change that fast fr

Japan: name’s Japan! She/they, 15, Sec 3. I love making manga + animations + fanfics!

Singapore: good idea ngl

Singapore: Singapore, she/her, 11, sec 3. I usually read fanfics and watch animation stuff. And create them too. I play a lot of Genshin and HSR.

Japan: girl how are you only 11

Singapore: I’m just too smart for those primary school babies so I skipped like a few grades or smth

Japan: slay girlie11!!!!1

Malaysia: idk how she does it but she just does

Malaysia: Malaysia or Mal, he/him, 15, sec 3. I am obsessed with Milo lol

Singapore: that drink be bussin fr though

Malaysia: fr though

Hong Kong: oh wow introductions???

Hong Kong: I’m Hong Kong lol, she/they, sec 2, 15. I have a chaotic family hehe

Hong Kong: I was born a year early but they still put me in sec 2 for some reason rip

Macau: you can read my name yourself, he/him, sec 2, 14. I love to gamble in Casinos I guess?

Japan: how is that even legal

Macau: connections

Macau: plus I never loose

Japan: the more I learn ig

NK: must I really do this?

Japan: yes >:))))

NK: Just call me North/NK (not Korea because my twin exists). He/him, 16, sec 4. Nuclear bombs are quite fun to study with.

SK: I hope you die from radiation exposure!!!

NK: go kys bruh

SK: ANYWAYS I’m SK/South, he/him, 16, sec 4. I do quite a lot of song covers + OG songs too!

China: I’m China, he/they, sec 4, 18. Got held back for awhile because my hands got paralysed and had to undergo surgery and stuff. I didn’t go to school for like 1-2 years.

Weimar: are you and NK dating?

Weimar: also hope that your arms are doing better!

China: yes, we are.

China: also thank you for your concern. :)

Weimar: :DDDD

UN: United Nations, she/they, 29, currently a teacher in the school!

ASEAN: not going to say my whole name, all pronouns, 28. Also a teacher in this school.

Weimar: and I suppose you two are engaged?

UN: not yet we’re still dating lol

ASEAN: we’ll see when time is right

Weimar: nice to know!

Weimar: just call me Weimar, he/they/it, eternally 22, a spirit, wanders around the mortal realm ig.

Free Thai: everything same as the above except that I’m a vengeful spirit and eternally 10.

JE: wtf why do you look like a ducking 20 year old

Free Thai: I can change appearances at will, scumbag.

Free Thai: plus I don’t want to show my gored out face to anyone who can see me

Free Thai: except you maybe

JE: this is discrimination bruh

JE: anyways call me JE/IJ/Imperial, all pronouns, though more preferably he/they, 22. Currently in university with a part time job. I probably killed someone but I fogor

Free Thai: BRUH HOW DID YOU FORGET

JE: what are you trying to point out bruh

Free Thai: IT WAS ME THAT YOU KILLED

JE: WHAT 😧

Japan: lore bomb 1000001!1!11!!! 😱😱‼️‼️🚨🚨👈👈🤡🤡

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

20+ people are online

NK: for the next 12 hours do not fucking speak of HI3 I will fucking cry

China: ^

Russia: what’s wrong pissboy did you commit a crime

NK: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT I FUCKING DID NOT

NK: I WILL DIG UP YOUR FATHER’S DEAD ASS ROTTING CORPSE AND FEED IT TO THAT FURRY MF TO EAT IN FRONT OF YOU FACE WHILE TIED UP

Russia: WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS SO DISGUSTING

JE: if you’re referring to me

JE: 1. That is disgusting

JE: 2. I wouldn’t touch an asshole’s corpse he probably stinks like hell

NK: it’s a fucking corpse ofc it would stink

JE: makes no diff when he was alive

Japan: LMFAO WHAT

Ukraine: keep up the USSR slander I love it

Russia: shut your goofy ahh ass up mother fucker

Ukraine: nooooo <3 /j

Japan: oh shit feral NK is back

Japan: the peace was nice while it lasted

Japan: fuck you Rus

Russia: fuck you too

Japan: anyways yooo my broski North what happened

China: he and I just reached the “Final lesson” part of the game Honkai Impact 3^rd.

Japan: oh in that case let him be

Japan: I had like stage 10 depression and didn’t go to school for a week because of Himeko’s death

NK: AND THEN WHEN I TRY OUT HSR HIMEKO IS THERE????? LIKE FUCKING ALIVE?????/ LIKE BRUH??/????

NK: HOYO CAN’T JUST LIKE DROP A MAJ CHAR DEATH AND THEN ADD THE DEAD PERSON BACK IN THEIR NEW GAME

Singapore: don’t get your hopes up she might die again in future versions

Singapore: we’re only in version 1.0

NK: bye I had enough of this shit

NK is offline

China: I suppose I shall go too

China is offline

Singapore: yo you all late players?

Singapore: I was always there even back in GGZ

Japan: the true giga chad fr

Russia: I had no idea what gamer language these people were talking about

Japan: stay confused son of a bitch >:(

Russia: I swear to god I will fucking fight you

JE: go ahead lol I once fought your grandfather and he lost

Russia: WTF HOW OLD EVEN ARE YOU???/1!!/?!

JE: That’s for me to know and for you to find out

UN: Lessons are starting. You all should put away your phones, lest you want it to get confiscated.

Japan: okay miss

Russia: ugh fine.

Japan and 10+ others are offline

*slight time skip lolzees*

SK is online

SK: uh guys what should I do if I accidentally spilt sodium hydroxide on my hand

SK: tf why does my hand feel like dissolving and soapy

SK: nvr mind ill just ask Singa she’s in the same class

Weimar is online

Weimar: holy shit that kid is going to die

Free Thai: sending my regards fr

Weimar: you aren’t going to do anything about it?

Free Thai: nawr I only do smth when it regards my sister

Weimar: slay ig

*time skip yet again help*

NK is online

NK: YOU FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING BITCH DICKFACE DUMBASS @SK WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SPILL CORROSIVE SHIT ON YOURSELF AND ONLY TOLD ASEAN LIKE 30 MINS LATER YOU FUCKING DUMBASS BE GLAD THAT WE’RE A DIFF BREED OF HUMANS OR YOU WOULD HAVE FUCKIG DIED AND NO I WOULD NOT GIVE A SHIT AND CARE IF YOU DO YOU STUPID DUMBFUCK

SK, Japan and 5+ others are online

Singapore: oh yeah that happened

SK: thanks broskiiiiii <3

NK: what the fuck.

Japan: ayo wtf

China: what the actual fuck

Singapore: holy shit what

SK: what’s wrong North????/?

SK: do you not want me to show affection like the best kawaii brother I am, huh North??? <3 >3333

NK: THIS IS FUCKING TERRIFYING SOUTH STOP YOUR BULLSHIT

China: be lucky that you’re his brother or I would have amputated your head and limbs long ago

SK: awww my brother has such a protective boyfriend1!!!!! How kawaii!!!! <3 <3

China: I-

NK: I swear to god you have some form of brain mutation from that acid shit incident I will kill you

NK is offline

SK: whaYTYTFREYFGEJRTSAD

SK is offline

Japan: yo he just ran at god speed and then dropped kicked SK right in the head and he passed out

Thailand: rip that pussay

Free Thai: SISTER??!!/!/!/!1

Japan: HOLY SHIT THAI WHAT

Thailand: I’m just saying I didn’t know SK was that fucking dumb

Thailand: maybe he should have listened in class and this shit won’t happen

Japan: slay girl boss ig lol

*10^th timeskip brought to you by the author*

SK is online

SK: holy fucking shit I think I died and saw god or some shit

Singapore: yo kiddo you okay?

SK: wtf why are you talking like some sort of old grandma Singa you’re literally a few years younger than me

Singapore: okay he’s probably back

SK: wdym by ‘probably back’ did I get possessed or smth

Singapore: just read your previous messages

SK: hmmmmmmmNHEDWUFWGEBRHTHR

SK: WHAT THE FUCK

SK: EEW WEWEWEEWE EWEW EW EWEWEWE DISGUSTIONG PUKING VOMMITING ON GOD EWWWWW

Singapore: lmao this is so entertaining to watch uGWKWBHHBVDG

Singapore: HWAUHUSHDIUABFIHWGHFWRUGBEGGE

Japan: another victim of key smashing

Malaysia: oh shit girl what happened

Singapore: I WAS TRYING TO READ A SMUTFIC IN PEACE AND I SWORE I HEARD SOMEONE BEHIND ME SAYING ‘that’s sus’ AND WHEN I TURNED AROUND THERE WAS NO ONE AT ALL

Free Thai: wait are you that like 140 cm shortass red-white country with the moon and star things in ur hair

Singapore: wait a damn min

Singapore: was that person you

Free Thai: maybe lol

Singapore: fuck you bruh

Free Thai: sorry I’m just doing my job aka terrorising people UWU

Japan: EW WTF WHO STILL USES ‘UWU’ IN THIS FUCKING DAY AND AGE

Free Thai: I ONLY USE IT IRONICALLY FUCKER FACE

Free Thai: IF YOU WANT TO SEE CRINGIER TEXT SEE THE TWO GAY ASS BICTHES ONES

Japan: which gay ass bitch we all are non straight

Free Thai: the Chinese and Korean dudes ofc

China: what the fuck

Japan: what kinda messages are you sending your boyfriend huh Winnie the Pooh pissboy

China: Japan you should start shutting the fuck up and stop interfering with me and my boyfriend’s relationship before I start adding exactly 64.32 grams of hydrochloric acid into your water everyday and exactly 32.54 grams of ammonia solution into your family’s food sources until both of you die from acid/alkali consumption

Japan: WHAT THE FUCK

JE: someone has been paying extra attention in chem lesson huh

China: I just burnt half of your unfinished scripts regarding your job lol <3

JE: WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THERE A FIRE IN MY WORK SPACE

Singapore: ah, don’t you just chaos

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

Singapore and 20+ others are online

Singapore: I’m just trying to sleep with my fan on but it hurts my eyes for some reason???

Singapore: OW WTF I JUST WANT TO USE MY PHONE BUT MY FUCKING HAND GOT HIT BY THE FAN BLADES FOR THE 300^th TIME TF

Malaysia: its 1.40AM girlie go to fucking sleep

Singapore: noooooo I want to scroll through Pinterest for pics 😍

Malaysia: BRUH WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LOOKING AT THE THRIST TRAPS FOR THAT ONE CHILDE CHARACTER WTF 💀

Singapore: SHUT UP HE’S HOT OKAY

Malaysia: HE’S LITERALLY A FICTIONAL CHARACTER

Malaysia: LITERALLY PIXELS PUT TOGETHER

Malaysia: THIS IS WHY YOU PULL NO BITCHES

Singapore: EXCUSE ME WTF TAKE THAT BACK FUCKER

JE: Mal x Singa person real????

Singapore: what.

Malaysia: WHAT.

Malaysia: EWWWWWW WTF WHAT THAT’S FUCKING DISGUSTING

Singapore: do me a favour and go fuck ur self on a cactus

JE: WHAT???

Japan they’re step siblings how do you not know 😭

JE: oh

JE: I didn’t know

Japan: fucking dumbass

SK: that one time I fell in love with my smart and nerdy classmate only to realise that she is my step sister 😱😱

Japan: LMAO YOU’VE SEEN THAT NOVEL????

SK: yeah it was so bad I thrown it into a fire before dying from cringe lmfao

Singapore: YALL STOP SHAKING THE BED OR I WILL KICK YOU OUT OF THE ROOM @Malaysia @Indonesia @Philiphines

Malaysia: DON’T COME AFTER MY ASS ITS INDO’S FAULT

Indonesia: FUCK YOU YOU MILO WANNABE YOU’RE THE ONE DOING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE

Philippines: how about all of you do us a favour and STFU AND GO TO FUCKING SLEEP.

Malaysia: fine.

Singapore: eh soon

Indonesia: if you say so

Malaysia, Indonesia and Philippines are offline

Japan: the power Phil has to tell all of them to shut up 😱😱

Singapore: fr fr

Japan: also do you all live in one room or some shit???!!!

Singapore: yeah

Singapore: technically the whole SEA continent lives together in a single house

Japan: what the fuck

JE: including ASEAN?

Singapore: yes

NK: I bet she and that one other teacher sleep together

NK: fucking lesbians

Japan: NK IS CONFIRMED TO BE HOMOPHOBIC??? 😱😱

NK: I’m literally a homosexual.

Japan: sorry bro let me correct myself a bit

Japan: EHHEMEMENHEMHEHHEHEHEMMMM

Japan: NK IS CONFIRMED TO BE LESBIANPHOBIC??? 😱😱

Japan: also don’t you and China do the exact same thing

China: uh-

NK: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FURRY ASS BITCH I WILL FUCKING CUT YOUR ANIMAL CAT EARS OFF AND GLUE IT ONTO YOUR GENSHIN BODY PILLOWS OR SOME OTHER SHIT

Japan: WHAT THE FUCK MAN

Japan: also it’s kitsune ears not cat ones smh wtf

JE: you’re a furry

Japan: YOU LITERALLY CANNOT TALK??? WE GOT ALMOST THE EXACT SAME GENES BRUH 💀💀

NK: spinning skull emoji 💀🔁

Myanmar: I am literally taking a shit now

Japan: EW THAT’S NASTY

Singapore: utterly disgusting.

Free Thai: make sure it’s chunky and delicious 😍

Japan: EW WTF????

Weimar: two types of people:

JE: vomiting on god

Free Thai: good lol

Myanmar: wait why isn’t it going down

Japan: holy shit the poop curse is real 😱😱

Free Thai: wait what

Free Thai: I didn’t do shit

Myanmar: FUCK SINGA

Singapore: WHAT

Singapore: DID YOUR SHIT CLOG THE TOILET OR SMTH

Myanmar: actually yeah

Singapore: what the fuck

Japan: BYE ITS LITERALLY 2.18 AM WTF 💀💀

ASEAN is online

ASEAN: why the fuck are there so many notifs

ASEAN: WHAT THE FUCK.

ASEAN: MYANMAR.

Myanmar: I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED OKAY

Myanmar: I WAS JUST TAKING A SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AND IT CLOGGED ITSELF

ASEAN: bye you either solve this shit or ask Singa or a plumber tmr I’m too tired for this

ASEAN is offline

Singapore: no way I’m seeing shit bruh I literally have OCD

Myanmar: y’all women being afraid to touch anything bruh 💀

Singapore: oh Yk what I’m not afraid to touch

Myanmar: what

Singapore: your whole collection of warrior cats oc fanfic romance adventure story you wrote when you were 9

Myanmar: DIE WHERE AND HOW TF DID YOU FIND IT

Singapore: ehe >:)

NK: HOLY FUKCING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS TGAT

NK: oh never mind

Japan: ayo what happened boyo

NK: I was sleeping when suddenly my phone started blasting the Herta kuru kuru song at max volume and I screamed at the top of my lungs before realising I might have accidentally made an alarm for the wrong time

SK: damn bro I thought your schizophrenia was getting to you again

NK: maybe it is idfk

Japan: he was schizophrenic???

SK: he still might be idk much about psychological issues

SK: and yeah he hallucinated a lot of shit when he was under USSR’s care

SK: he used to wake up screaming every night from seeing creepy shit that doesn’t even exist

SK: who knows what mould the onion fed him for him to become that feral

Ukraine: he probably tried feeding him uranium or some shit

Ukraine: I was accidentally caught in a cross fire of some experiment Mr dickhead was doing with uranium or smth and I swear to god I actually went crazy and had some form of radiation cancer or some shit

NK: wait a min fucking minute

NK: I never put a alarm in my life before

NK: and I never changed ringtones before

Japan: holy shit

NK: shit I’m seeing and hearing things again

China: that’s why I told you to still take your meds. Even though the situation may not be as severe as it was back then you still need them.

NK: fine ugh

China and NK are offline

Japan: there goes the resident homos boyo

Japan: AND YALL GO TO FUCKING SLEEP BEFORE I COME AND BEAT YOU UNTIL YOU SLEEP FOREVER

Singapore: fine ig

Singapore, Japan and 10+ others are offline

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

Cambodia, Japan and 10+ others are online

Cambodia: HELP I WAS STUDYING AT THE LIBRARY WITH SINGA AND SOME OTHER PEOPLE

Cambodia: AND SOME GOOFY AHH MOFO DECIDED TO PLAY A GOOFY SOUND

Cambodia: NOW SINGA WON’T SHUT UP CAUSE SHE’S ROLLING ON THE GROUND CACKLING LIKE A FUCKING WITCH WE’RE IN THE LIBRARY AND EVERYONE’S STARING AT HER LIKE SHES SOME SORT OF MANIAC

Malaysia: oh what

Malaysia: guess it’s my time to shine

Malaysia is offline

Cambodia: what

Indonesia: oh wow he’s fast

Philippines: holy shit he’s here already

Philippines: holy fuck what

Cambodia: JESUS CHRIST

Indonesia: aren’t you like Buddhist or smth?

Cambodia: idk maybe

Vietnam: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA LMFAOOFAOFOAFOAFOAAA

Laos: Vietnam key smashing???? This shit is new

Vietnam: let me paint the scene in your head. Imagine your tutor/friend is rolling on the ground laughing non stop with everyone staring awkwardly at her. Suddenly, you hear loud ass footsteps approach rapidly from the staircase. Suddenly, a very aggressive 168cm 15 year old guy runs in and drop kicks the friend unconscious. Then they say “sorry for the disturbance lol” and proceeds to grab the unconscious friend and break the window glass and jump out of it from the 3^rd floor, leaving the others to gawk in awkward silence.

Switzerland: beautifully written and easy to understand. Truly a work of art.

Austria: agreed

Japan: HOLY SHIT HI YOU TWO!!!

Japan: I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU TWO SINCE FOREVER

Switzerland: my apologies, I was busy with my other job in the hospital

Austria: ^

Singapore is online

Singapore: holy fuck what just happened

Austria: according to the messages above, you were drop kicked by Malaysia in the library before being abducted by him.

Singapore: holy cow crazy shit

Cambodia: holy shit ur alive

Singapore: yeah lol

Singapore: did Mal break the window again

Switzerland: yes he did

Switzerland: also ‘again’?

Singapore: yeah he does reckless shit sometimes

Weimar is online

Weimar: oh wow I to offline for a few days and y’all are destroying library property, rlly?

Malaysia: hehe 🤷‍♂️

Austria: Weimar?

Weimar: hi sister!!!

Austria: how the fuck are you alive didn’t you die like 10-20 years ago.

Weimar: well yeah long story short I’m now a vengeful ish spirt and is now hunting the dickhead

Austria: you’re referring to Reich?

Weimar: yeah that fucker

Russia: hearing that name makes me want to vomit

Weimar: same lol

Japan: me too!

Belarus: ^

Germany: same here

Weimar: I think everyone just hates him

Weimar: no wait lemme rephrase that a bit

Weimar: anyone who likes that ugly ass roach is an absolute weird ass stinky discord mod who lives in their parents’ basement and probably has a N@z! Cosplay outfit in their closet

Ukraine: literally cannot agree more

Japan: omg Germ germ remember when you went to school with that poorly done N@z! Cosplay to school which everyone luckily thought was just some business suit lol 😍

Germany: shut the fuck up I do not want to be reminded of such cringe and disgusting memories

Germany: go fucking drown in a swamp full of femboys

Singapore: oh wow he lost his shit (kinda)

Japan: WHAT THE FUCK MAN 😭

Japan: but why femboys though

Germany: idk I just suddenly thought of those furry male cosplayers in maid outfits and thought to myself ‘that’s so disgusting and cringe

Free Thai: oh hey Russia want to hear a fun fact about ur father

Russia: if it’s about my father, sure I guess?

Free Thai: he and that roach dated for like 5 years before they broke up or smth lol (I DO NOT SHIP THIRD UNION!!!!1!)

Russia: NAWR WHAT THE FUCK

Ukraine: I thought both of them were homophobic?????

Weimar: they still are

Weimar: they were dating during their teenage goofy years and their brains weren’t like how they are now lol

JE: bruh stop talking about those two I’m going to die from cringe

Austria: wasn’t Reich your friend too?

JE: yeah he was what about it

JE: do you think I give flowery ass shit opinions about him just because we’re friends? No.

JE: and I don’t see you talking nice shit about him despite being his sister

Austria: fair point.

JE: anyways they were acting so disgustingly lovely dovely me and Fascist had to stand like 30m away from them

JE: I’m so fucking glad they committed self die

Japan: yk your bestie is a true one when they wish you death 😍

Weimar: aye since we’re talking shit abt my dickhead brother we should add White Rose

Germany: I thought she’s dead?

Weimar: yeah lol she’s another one of us lol except more vicious

Japan: damn your family has a lot of dead yet alive people

Weimar: lmao

Weimar: anyways yeah she’s my niece lol and loves torturing roach head

Free Thai: fuck yeah add her in

Japan: go ahead she sounds cool

Japan gave admin to Weimar

Weimar added White Rose to the chat

Japan removed admin from everyone

White Rose: what the fuck

White Rose: who even are y’all

White Rose: why am I here

Weimar: its just a group chat with youngsters lol

Austria: wait wait wait Weimar she’s our niece???

Weimar: yeah why

Austria: she’s one of his children???

White Rose: what’s wrong Ms doctor scientist are you gonna discriminate me for my dickass father

Austria: no it’s just I don’t remember seeing or hearing of your existence before…

White Rose: well I can’t blame you cause you cut off all contact with ur bro and shit

Japan: yo Rose send a pic we wanna see how u look like lol

White Rose: uh sure ig???

White Rose sent an image

Japan: JESUS CHRSIT HOLY FUCK

Japan: PUT A JUMPSCARE WARNING BRO

White Rose: Y’all think I’m scary or some shit???

Japan: HOW IS HAVING BLACK GOOEY TEARS STREAMING DOWN YOUR FACE ALL SMUDGY AND HAVING BLACK EYE THING INSTEAD OF WHITE AND BANDAGES ALL OVER UR BODY WITH DRIED BLOOD NOT SCARY BRUH

Austria: I have to admit I myself had quite a scare

Singapore: yo did she just come out from some Sans AU or some shit

White Rose: WHAT THE FUCK MAN 💀

Japan: AYO WHAT 💀

Japan: ngl that was a good one

Japan: but wait no low key she does look like that Ink sans or some shit idk I don’t play Undertale

White Rose: well you two better watch your beds tonight because I will be placing 1000 pictures of that one Tartaglia character with a realistic mouth under and around your beds on 1000 phones with max brightness and play rickroll at max volume

Japan: WHAT

Singapore: jokes on you I already have that image as my wallpaper

White Rose: what the fuck

Malaysia: what an anime RPG game does to a person 😔

White Rose: then I will curse you with the same thing except with Qiqi ritual pics

Singapore: NO WHAT THE FUCK I DON’T HAVE GUARANTEED PITY FUCK YOU SON OF A BITCH

Germany: haha get it

Germany: son of a bitch

Weimar: LMAO YEAH

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

Monday, 8.21 AM

JE: I was going to Uni today and I saw some poorly drawn wanted posters of some of you all??? What the fuck did y’all do

Japan: ehe dw bout it bro

ASEAN: I wake up to see our students commit the 763th crime of the year already bruh what the fuck

JE: 763th????

China: don’t act innocent we all know that you paralysed my arms and forced me to undergo surgery

JE: oops

China: and the fact that you made Manchuria go missing

JE: wait did I?

China: you fucking did you son of a bitch I will fucking throw you into the sun istg

JE: oh wow sounds fun

Austria: now I see why people dislike them…

JE: I’m going to take that as a compliment lol

Austria: how the fuck is that a compliment in anyway possible

JE: idk I’m just built sexy and and attractive and fit af

Japan: ew bro who lied to you like that

SK: DAMN

Switzerland: oh JE are you referring to those posters around the train stations?

JE: yeah why

Switzerland: I thought it was some sort of prank or smth…

Singapore: nothing of importance is happening right now

China: ^

NK: ^

SK: ^

Malaysia: ^

JE: what the fuck are you all doing now

Japan: planning our escape duh

JE: ESCAPE FROM WHAT

Singapore: we just robbed a 7 eleven store lmao

Japan: we gotta run from the police lol bye bye

Japan and 5+ others are offline

JE: teenagers these days tf…

Free Thai: girl ik you’re old but you don’t have bald spots yet

JE: BRUH SHUT UP

Free Thai: nooooo :3

Myanmar: lol are they stealing shit again

Thailand: oh hello Myanmar! It has been some time since you last spoke here

Myanmar: lol yeah the author forgot me for some time or smth

Thailand: what?

Myanmar: what?

3 messages have been deleted

Myanmar: I was busy with some conflict among some people and didn’t have time to check lol

ASEAN: why is Singa stealing from 7 eleven again

Singapore: look we’re hungry and want to buy lots of shits from the shop yk

UN: why rob it? You can just pay with your own money

Singapore: didn’t bring my wallet XD

UN: why didn’t you just ask the others to pay for you?

Singapore: don’t feel like it

Singapore: plus life needs a little bit of SHUDUSNUUNSUSNDUHD

Myanmar: damn she died

Singapore: no I fucking didn’t

Singapore: nearly got caught gonna go bye

Singapore is offline

ASEAN: I ain’t getting your asses out of jail again if you end up there just saying

JE: why the fuck do you sound like you broke them out of jail before

ASEAN: because I did before pissboy

Russia: yo these teachers sick af

America: y’all do you think UN is like a biblically accurate angel in a human form or some shit

Russia: Bruh you only spoke once here why did you start speaking again

America: shut the fuck up you communist bitch I do whatever I want

America: and the author just wanted someone to say something to keep the convo going so they just used me

I message has been deleted

UN: me??? Biblically accurate angel????

America: idk you just had the vibes

Vietnam: and you have the vibes of a discord mod who lives in their basement who never showers and has like 37 discord kittens or some foul shit like that

America: BRUH WHAT THE FUCK

Myanmar: damn that’s foul

Japan and 5+ others are online

Japan: we escaped lol

Singapore: I never had more than enough instant ramen thank fucking god I’m never stepping out of the house other than school days ever again

Monday, 5.56 PM

Japan: where the fuck is @NK and @China we had planned the boys night out already

America: aren’t you like a girl???

Japan: yeah what about it

Japan: what’s your white ass gonna do about it I do whatever I want

Japan: nothing yeah so shut the fuck up

Singapore: damn you killed him

Taiwan: @Japan the last time I saw the two they went into my brother’s room and never came out yet

Singapore: yo do you think they’re fucking

Austria: I don’t think so; you all are barely of age to be doing such adult activities

Japan: @SK come on we’re changing the location to China’s rich white boy house lets go

Hong Kong: where are you three gonna sleep though

Japan: me and SK brought sleeping bags lol

Japan: we’re gonna steal Chi’s room it has a big enough floor lmao

SK: North is prbly going to sleep in the same bed with his boyfriend like the fucking weirdo gay ass he is

Austria: that’s disgusting.

Singapore: gay is not okay?!?,.! 😱😱

Japan: yes my dearest baby grill all the moments I said I wanted to be like the yaoi/yuri characters I had socks on

JE: BABY GRILL????

Japan: /j btw

Thailand: :D

SK: yeah fuck all gays y’all nasty LGBTQ+ people I’m straight as hell and love fucking your mom’s pussy /j

Myanmar: Austria is proven to be homophobic?????

Austria: first of all, I don’t want to know about nasty men and their dating details bruh

Austria: second of all jokes on you I’m lesbian

Singapore: ayo what that’s new

Myanmar: who’s your girlfriend huh then Ms know it all

Austria: @Switzerland

Myanmar: WAIT WHAT

Weimar: HUH

Weimar: I am awake now

Weimar: how did I not know this

Singapore: y’all stupid asf lol I noticed their fruit the moment they started speaking like yesterday or some shit

Weimar: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SISTAR

Austria: how am I supposed to? I only knew of your ghost’s presence about a week ago and we started dating a few years ago.

Weimar: oh yeah right you have a point

White Rose: dumbass

Weimar: hey learn how to respect your elders tiny girl

Malaysia: if White Rose is tiny what is Singa

Japan: DAMN BRUTAL

Singapore: Mal I’m going to start adding 10g of sodium metal in every cup of Milo you drink until you die from too much sodium consumption istg

Malaysia: HEY DON’T BRUH

Malaysia: I’m too sexy to be killed

Singapore: KYS

Brunei: nawr wtf who told you you were sexy Mal

Weimar: okay yall stop fighting this Singa person can’t be that short right

Weimar: White Rose is already only like 145cm and eternally 15 there can’t be people around that age that is like shorter

Malaysia: Singa’s 136 cm bruh 😭

Weimar: WHAT

Weimar: damn the countries’ heights these days is gradually shrinking

Japan: HOLY FUCK HWJHDFSFBFSBFBAJDWF

SK: HELP HELO SDHFSGUSGSBGSBKFG

Singapore: omg what happened my hetero besties

Thailand: Singa you’re only on thin ice because ik you love writing Tartali fanfics

Myanmar: holy shit

Singapore: THAILAND????

Japan: WHAT WHERE THEY DOING OH MY FUCKING GOD

JE: your god, not mine

Japan: SHUT UP THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT

SK: TRAUMA 10000

JE: what happened

Japan: WE ACCIDENTALLY WALKED ONTO THEIR FUCKING SESSION IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF

JE: NAWR WHAT THE FUCK

Hong Kong: AYO WHAT

Taiwan: I’m going to kms

Austria: I take back my words said earlier

China: SHUT UP YOU FURRY ASS BITCH I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR EARS AND TITS OFF AND REPLACE THEM WITH EACH OTHER BEFORE POURING ACIDS INTO YOUR THROAT AND EYES AND KICKING YOUR TEETH IN AND YEETING YOU OFF A CLIFF

China: my apologies that was NK

Japan: EW YALL ARE SHARING PHONES?/?

China: Japan you better shut the fuck up before I kick you out.

Japan: WHY COULDN’T YOU TWO JUST TELL US WHAT YOU WERE DOING WE COULD RESCHEDULE

China: was too busy

Japan: yeah with fucking your boyfriend

China: and what about it? You don’t control our lives.

SK: I can never recover from this

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

Wednesday, 9.32 AM

Singapore: y’all I started rereading Cardcaptor Sakura because I was bored and it was the first manga I read

Singapore: and I was on the 2^nd /3^rd volume

Singapore: and one of the MC’s friends gets possessed by some sword thingy

Singapore: and when the MC uses some illusion magic on the friend which shows the person they love the most or smth like that for distraction shits

Singapore: IT SHOWS THEIR FUCKING TEACHER?????/?

Japan: AYO WTF

Malaysia: NAWR JIT TRIPPIN

JE: oh that one?

JE: I was pretty traumatised at first when I read it

JE: it was that one 利佳 girl right

Japan: you read it in Chinese??/???

JE: yes

Singapore: yeah lol

Singapore: and yes @JE that one

Singapore: AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE THE MC’S FRIEND BOUGHT A HEART SHAPED PIN AND GAVE IT TO THE TEACHER

Japan: nawr what the fuck how old are these characters

Japan: it can’t be that bad right

JE: I’m pretty sure that the teacher is 20+

Japan: then the students? At least teens/almost adults right???? Like Uni students at least????

JE: …

JE: they’re 10.

Japan: WHAT THE FUCK.

Malaysia: THAT MEANS THEY’RE ONLY PRIMARY 4 WHAT THE FUCK MANNN

Taiwan: this was not nice to wake up to.

Austria: if I ever read a manga like that I’m immediately going to drop the series right there.

Singapore: AND THEN LATER ON WHEN EVERYONE LEFT THE CLASSROOM THE TEACHER PUTS A RING ON THE FRIEND’S FINGER LIKE THE FUCK

Singapore: LIKE A FUCKING WEDDING RING

Malaysia: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SERIES HELP

Singapore: AND THEN HE SAID SMTH LIKE HOW THE RING WILL BECOME THEIR MARRIAGE RING IN THE FUTURE IM CRYING AND THROWING UP

Austria: no way that’s real

Singapore: THAT’S WHAT I TELL MYSELF BUT UNFORTUNATELY ITS REAL AND CANON SOME MORE

Singapore sent an image

Austria: can someone help translate it? I can’t read chinese

Singapore: my bad bestie

Singapore sent an image

Austria: no fucking way that’s real

Austria: @China @Taiwan @Hong Kong is the translation correct

China: what the fuck do you want

China: …

China: it’s quite accurate, unfortunately

Taiwan: ^

Hong Kong: omg what the fuck is that I’m going to kms

Hong Kong: and yes it’s accurate

Austria: at this point I lost all hope in humanity

Singapore: oh and the MC’s parents married when the mom was 16 and the dad was 20 and a teacher in their school

Japan: NAWR NO WAY WHAT THE FUCK

Japan: NO FUCKING WAY A SEC 4 STUDENT FUCKING MARRIED (not even date bruh dating would be more legal) A TEACHER

Singapore: AND THEY WERE VERY PDA-ISH IN FRONT OF THE PEOPLE LIKE THEY WOULD HOLD HANDS AND SHIT

Japan: SEND PIC I NEED EVIDENCE

Singapore: don’t say I didn’t warn you

Singapore sent an image

Japan: …

JE: no wonder the mom’s cousin was so freaking mad

JE: oh yeah speaking of the mom’s cousin

JE: the MC has this close friend called 知世

JE: and that one friend really likes the MC

Japan: don’t tell me something cursed I’m going to kms

JE: but 知世‘s mother and MC’s mother are blood related cousins

Japan: NAWRRR NO WAY WHAT THE FUCK

Japan: THAT MEANS MC AND THE ZHI SHI FRIEND ARE RELATED

Japan: THIS IS INCEST WAAAAAHHHHHHH  

Japan: someone please change the topic I cant do this anymore

Russia: y’all remember that one FCE lesson like 2 years ago where we get to bring our own ingredients for the cookie thing right

Taiwan: is it that one where my brother had like glass shards in his cookie or some shit

JE: lmao that was me

China: fuck you I hope you die in a ditch you fucking asshole

JE :3

Hong Kong: is it the one where Macau put random ass shit into the cookie like a $1000 note in it????

Russia: not that one but those shits sounds crazy man

Vietnam: wait is it that one where China poisoned somebody on accident or some shit

Russia: yeah lol

Japan: WAIT IS IT THAT ONE WHERE ME AND MY PARTNER LIKE FAINTED DURING COOKING LESSON OR SOME SHIT

China: yes

Japan: bruh fuck you bro what did I ever do to deserve that

China: idk I was sec 1 fresh out of primary school

China: about 87% of the sec 1s are mentally insane in some way

Japan: oh that makes sense

Japan: but that doesn’t explain why you put like opium in that shit >:(((

China: it was your looks I guess.

Wednesday, 11.47 PM

Macau: HK why tf are you talking to the Scaramouche char AI thing bruh

Hong Kong: WHAT NO I’M NOT SHUT UP

Singapore: ayo a fellow genshin fan

Macau: what’s with short people and liking literal psychopaths bruh

Macau: first we have Singa with Tartagliate and now Hong Kong with fucking SCARADOUCHE

Macau: LIKE WHY SCARADOUCHE

Macau: HE’S SO SHORT AND HAS AN UGLY ASS BOWL CUT HAIR AND MURDERED LIKE IDK 100K PEOPLE OR SOME SHIT

Hong Kong: I DON’T SIMP FOR HIM BRUH I JUST LIKE HIM AS A CHARACTER

Macau: there is something very wrong in your head if you even like him one bit

Singapore: damn this bitch is bias

Singapore: BRUH WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE TWO INSECTS ON THE CEILING

Singapore: fuck off Indo I got to get those disgusting vermins

Indonesia: no way you go fuck yourseljnnjdjdSDGTGTGTGT

Singapore is offline

Indonesia: BRUH I WAS IN A MIDDLE OF A MATCH

Malaysia: did she get the insects they look disgusting

Indonesia: ofc she did dumbass she’s Singapore

Singapore: FINALLY I CAN SLEEP IN PEACE WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT THOSE BITCHES

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

Thursday, 4.39 PM

Italy: I can still remember the days when Japan was a third union shipper lmao

Italy: she used to pull out her 6 years old art and show it to us like it’s the best thing she ever drew

Japan: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU MAMA MIA PIZZA WANNABE

Italy: noooo 😙

Germany: ???

Weimar: hush baby boy you don’t need to know about this

Japan: wait it was you when we were having our hangouts???

Weimar: ofc I was I ain’t letting my dear little nephew see your disgusting shit

Japan: 😭

White Rose: Weimar ik you’re our uncle but don’t start acting like the uncles that hang out in your closet and watch you sleep bruh

Weimar: that shit exists???

Japan: yeah gotta catch up old man

Singapore: what the fuck is a ‘Third Union’

Singapore: it sounds like a ship for some dead ass countries

Italy: that’s because it is lmao

Singapore: WHAT.

Japan: SHUT UP SHUT UP

Japan: FUCK YOU YK WHAT IM COMING TO YOUR RICH BOY PASTA HOUSE AND BEATIG THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

Singapore: who the fuck are the people who make up the name Third Union it sounds so ducking goofy

Italy: its USSR and Third Reich lol 😂

Singapore: 😟

Russia: 😧

Ukraine: OMG SAME BESTIE!!!.,! 😍😍❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Germany: this was not nice to wake up to.

White Rose: but it’s the afternoon???

Germany: exactly.

Japan: SHUT UP I WAS 9 BRUH

Japan: KIDS ARE ALWAYS WEIRD AND SHIT BRO

Weimar: fair enough ig

Weimar: like my brother wanted to know what the fuck an orgy was when my mom was like hospitalised from an attempted assassination

JE: your mother was the blind one right???

Weimar: that’s just so fucking rude but yeah he was the one

Japan: ayo your parents are gay???

Weimar: idk my mom is like non-binary and shit so prbly yeah

Japan: cool lmao

Russia: why, Ukraine. Just, why.

Ukraine: they hate each other so much that they always have an AK-47 in their pockets and I only ship them to despise them and make them so ducking disgusted 😍😍

Ukraine: and I wanted to remind that dipshit on his past dating experiences as much as possible so that he can die from cringy ass memories

Kazakhstan: slay girl boss ig

Japan: ANYWAYSSSSS

Italy: yo why are you changing the topic

Japan: shit up fucker face

Italy: shit up lol

Japan: JUST SHUT UP.

Japan: as I was saying,

Finland: FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT DENMARK GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE BEFORE I THROW YOU INTO THE ICE

Finland: my apologies wrong group chat

Singapore: ayo who tf is this

Japan: idk too bro I just hacked the school records and stuff and added all of the countries here

UN: what the fuck

Japan: hush pretend that you saw nothing

Japan: applies to all the adults here hehe

UN: and what would you do about it when I report you myself for such a crime? You are aware that I know the discipline mistress personally right.

Japan: nawr you won’t

UN: yeah I won’t

JE: what the fuck

Singapore: why do the other countries never speak until like a few months later after its creation tf

Japan: the author can’t possibly write every country in existence and only adds countries when she feels like it and plus we were the most developed characters of her cringy af AU

Singapore: what

2 messages have been deleted

Japan: idk I guess they just don’t want to or refuse to interact with us

Russia: ayo what’s wrong Fish

Finland: shut the fuck up you Slavic Soviet commie mf vodka drinking fatherless breakdancing bitch

Japan: GOD DAMN THEY’RE SAVAGE

Japan: also Finland what is your gender

Finland: I can be a male or female or both or none to you, I don’t really care. Any of the binary pronouns are fine with me.

Japan: aye slay!!!

JE: someone who also uses all 3 pronouns?

Finland: I don’t want to interact with the rodent that was in the axis powers gang that terrorised basically everyone

Finland: especially the motherless bitchless loveless emo ass blind af need glasses furry goofy mf

JE: Oh, ok then.

Sweden: Fin we talked about your violent tendencies already you can’t just threaten people when you first meet them.

Estonia: ^

Japan: I think they and NK would be great friends

NK: no tf this mf prbly eats snow like it’s crack

Finland: so what if I do? I’m not the one manufacturing mini nuclear weapons to throw at people.

NK: how the fuck do you know this

Finland: I observe everyone and record down their secrets and various habits and personal information.

Japan: that’s so creepy girl like tf 😭

Finland: I don’t quite think so. It’s a way to know everyone without interacting with them.

China: North what did I tell you about creating those nuclear weapons

China: exposure to radiation harms your skin

JE: can confirm

NK: Idrc lmao I have protective gear

NK: and also shut the fuck up Imperial Japan no one asked for your opinion you fucking furry dipshit I hate you for whatever you done and hope you die in a ditch rotting like USSR’s corpse

Russia: can you all stop bringing my dead father into this

NK: no

Vietnam: nawr

China: no

Ukraine: no way broski

Kazakhstan: nope!

Russia: fuck all of you Bruh

JE: god damn okay shortie

Finland: as much as I hate interacting with others, I find this ‘NK’ person to be quite interesting.

Finland: mind if you tell me a bit about yourself?

NK: ugh fine

NK: I’m North Korea or NK for short. I was adopted by USSR for a few years but I hate that scumbag. I love death threatening people and have a boyfriend.

NK: enough for you?

Finland: so you’re that one emo ass kid with an eyepatch that clings onto that Chinese dude like he’s your lifeline?

NK: first of all, wtf I’m not a kid

NK: second of all, I’m not emo; it’s PTSD. No normal adoptive parents would teach you how to use rifles and guns the moment they adopt you.

Finland: my apologies on that part. I can be rather insensitive with insult sometimes.

NK: I will let it slide this time I guess…

NK: third of all are you homophobic or smth

Finland: no I’m not I have a girlfriend.

NK: and who would that be?

Estonia: that would be me ^^

NK: hm…

NK: okay then.

4 users are offline

Japan: and there they go with their lovers lmao

SK: never use the word lovers again that’s nasty

Japan:

SK:

Japan: starts making out passionately with you

JE: what the fuck

SK: EW GET YOUR NASTY GERMS OFF ME

Japan: it was just a joke bruh

SK: a disgusting one at that

Japan: I’M GOING TO BEAT UP YOUR K-POP STAN YEE YEE ASS YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD

SK: COME AT ME BITCH

2 users are offline

Singapore: and there they go fighting again

Chapter Text

[Private Messages – Malaysia and Singapore]

Saturday, 10.29 AM

Singa: aye bro can I talk to you about something

Singa: it’s about this girl I think I like

Mal: HUH

Mal: I’M AWAKE NOW

Mal: I thought you were aroace though?

Singa: or so I thought before I began hanging out with her

Mal: good for you!

Mal: who is she though

Singa: please don’t laugh if I tell you

Mal: why would I? I would be happy that you found someone

Singa: its…

Singa: Hong Kong

Mal: oh wow!!

Mal: Are you gonna make your move anytime soon?

Singa: not yet. I still need to sort out my feelings and check if they’re actually romantic or platonic

Mal: take your time, there is no need to rush. Feel free to tell me about it if you wish!

Singa: I will, thank you.

Mal: and I’m telling the family group chat about this >:))))

Singa: HUH WAIT WHAT NO

[Gay ass bitches]

Saturday, 11.23 AM

UN: lmao these bitches gay

NK: if you’re talking about us stfu and mind ur own business

ASEAN: Bruh who the fuck made you think we were talking about you and your tree looking cyborg boyfriend

China: 朝你妈的玩吧蛋 (fuck your mom you son of a bitch)

NK: WHAT THE FUCK

NK: HE DOSEN’T LOOK LIKE A TREE FUCKER FACE

Japan: no but North he low looks like one

Japan: yk the horns as brunches and shit

NK: I will fill your house with 38 KG of cocaine every time you enter your house until your house is stuffed full of it and you’ll die from suffocation. Every time you insult my boyfriend I will add an additional amount of 28 KG of hydrochloric acid until your whole family of freaks drown in it with you. None of you will be missed by many.

Japan: BRO 😭

ASEAN: oh wow I’m so scared

Taiwan: hey bro get your dog on a leash he’s acting feral again

NK: I’M NOT A FUCKING DOG YOU BITCH GRRRRR

Taiwan: you’re basically proving my point

Taiwan: growling like a bitch

SK: WOAH WOAH WOAH CALM DOWN BRO

Japan: wow bro woke up and chose violence

NK: FUCK YOU

Taiwan: WHAT THE FFJIJCDNSKSJSKNJKS

1 user is offline

Japan: damn fly high Tai Tai you were basically non existent

Hong Kong: ayo I just heard a loud crash what happened

Macau: NK threw a table at Taiwan but he dodged and it flew out of the window

Japan: when ur little pee pee throws tables at your brother 😍😍

China: I don’t call him a ‘little pee pee’ the fuck

China: die in a concentration camp bitch

Japan: no u lol

China: also North calm down they’re just joking, no harm is done.

NK: ugh fine

Taiwan: I NEARLY DIED TO A TABLE BRUH

Taiwan: WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE MORE ABOUT HIM THAN ME BRUH

China: and? I don’t care

Japan: hashtag girl boss lmao!!! 😂

Japan: and also damn NK’s mood swing is fr

Finland: just like the fact that you eat raw seasoning from ramen packets

Japan: HWAT THEFUCK

Japan: FINYY.????..

China: that is disgusting

SK: ^

NK: ^

Finland: I can’t just sit back and watch my comrade get slandered by a furry

Russia: I thought you hated communism? Why are you saying ‘comrade’ as if you’re one?

Russia: and why tf are you friends with him

Finland: I call everyone comrade all the time before your stinky ass father used it as a communist term and ruined it

Finland: and second NK is much more respectful and actually interesting compared to you

Ukraine: keep slandering Rus don’t be shy Finnie 😍😍

Sweden: why tf did everyone start giving you nicknames bro

Finland: I don’t really know myself, but I’m fine with it.

UN: Good morning everyone! There is an announcement that I would like to make and it’s directed to everyone here.

UN: The school would be hosting a dance/prom next Friday. Make sure to get a partner to come with you if you’re attending whether be it platonic or romantic!

ASEAN: can I go with you as a date?

UN: ofc! :D

Austria: Switzerland and I will be going together

Switzerland: ^^!

Japan: Oh wow finally something interesting in this school! I can’t wait ehehhehehe >:))

Japan: South let’s go as besties and be the straightest couple in the school

SK: LMAO YEAH

Japan: you see a hetero couple but it’s the people who beat each other up on a daily basis lmao

China: oh a school dance?

China: North would you like to go to the dance with me?

NK: I would love to :)

China: great! ^^

Japan: vomiting throwing up puking ew fuck you f baguettes /j

SK: ugh ikr ew /j

Japan: god damn what the fuck

SK: what’s wrong furry

Japan: my bro wants to come but I don’t want to bring him as a date since we’re already going together

China: tell me where he’s going to hang out in the hall so I can stay 10m away from him

Japan: sure lol

Japan: anyways are any of y’all willing to like be his partner

Japan: cause I’m pretty sure none of you would

Thailand: I would! ^^

Japan: AYO WHAT

Thailand: in a platonic way though!

Thailand: We used to be close friends!

Thailand: And I kinda feel bad :(

JE: thank you! :)

Japan: WAIT YOU TWO WERE CLOSE FRIENDS??????

JE: more like I was close friends with her ancestors lmao

Free Thai: old ass hag

Free Thai: there’s no way you’re 24 bruh

Japan: wait but bro which form are you going as

JE: my masculine one, why?

Japan: nothing much

Japan: just in case I want to find you but then yeah change in looks and stuff

Estonia: Fin we’re going right?

Finland: if you want to

Estonia: yay! ^^

Singapore: BRUH HOW ARE YALL THIS SUCCESSFUL 😭

Vietnam: because we pull?

Indonesia: why don’t you just ask Mal to

Indonesia: OH NVR MIND LOL I JUST REMEMBERED THAT

Singapore: SHUT UP BRUH

Indonesia: you have your silly new crush lmao

Japan: HUH

Japan: HOW DO I NOT KNOW OF THIS

Japan: @Singapore @Singapore @Singapore TELL ME WHO IS IT

Singapore: NO MF SHUT UP

Indonesia: Mal as my bro would you like to come with me to the dance for funzees

Malaysia: omg ofc bro

Philippines: damn then I need to find another family member

Philippines: hey Vietnam would you like to come with me to the dance

Vietnam: I have nothing to do so sure lmao

Singapore: sobbing crying and pissing tears

Hong Kong: who are you trying to ask out?

Singapore: …

Singapore: it’s nothing

Malaysia: THIS IS SO SAD BRUH 😭

Indonesia: I don’t even know what to say anymore

Indonesia: even the furry and teachers got a date how does our resident smartass not

Malaysia: SINGA YOU BETTER ASK HER OUT BEFORE I DO

Japan: PRONOUN DROP! IT’S A HER!!!!!

Singapore: BRUH MAL I JUST TOLD YOU AN HOUR AGO ABOUT THEM LET ME TAKE MY TIME

Japan: make sure you don’t end up like China and Northy lmao

Japan: they took 5 years smh

Singapore: BRUH ALL OF YOU STFU

Taiwan: @Macau do you want to go together?

Macau: eh sure lol

Kazakhstan: I’m not going but have fun :)

Russia: same as above but I hope you all die

Singapore: I HATE YOU ALL F BAGUETTES

Russia: stay bitter gay ass

Chapter Text

[Gay ass bitches]

Monday, 9.29 AM

Malaysia: someone help Singa wont stop watching those edits of that one Childe character in his whatever form she’s fucking simping over a 10 foot tall monster thing that can prbly one shot all of us tf 😭

Singapore: SHUT UP BRO LET ME DO WHAT I WANT

Malaysia: no

Hong Kong: lmao let her be

Hong Kong: the character has quite thic thighs ngl like I understand 😍

Macau: both of you are so down bad for fictional characters tf

Indonesia: damn no wonder they’re so in loGJBSIDKHHSLHSKHD

1 user is offline

Philippines: hush Indo not now

Japan: ayo what the fuck y’all I put down my phone for a sec to copy notes and y’all are watching the sussiest shit ever in class???

Finland: fucking weirdos.

Estonia: come on Fin be nicer to our schoolmates :(

Finland: sorry but no

Finland: how is being overly in love with a fictional character made of pixels even normal?

Estonia: oh

Estonia: but still,

Finland: it’s a fucking ginger Estie

Estonia: okay never mind!

Sweden: damn why the unnecessary hate towards gingers smh

Finland: no one cares bro

Japan: why tf did NK just run of the class

Japan: aye @China you went after him right what happened

China: I have no idea yet give me a few minutes

1 user is offline

Japan: okay lol gay ass hoes

SK: I think he’s sick or some shit

SK: he did kinda vomit this morning but refused to stay at home

Japan: damn is he that nerdy to go to school or does he just want to see his boyfriend that badly

SK: prbly the latter

SK: for some reason when he’s sick he thinks that it’s no big deal and either still goes to school or just self medicates

Japan: damn that sounds harsh

Japan: is that what USSR does to his kids or?

Ukraine: yeah he does

Ukraine: calls it “building up immunity”

Japan: sending thoughts and prayers to our twinky gay boy if he dies I can’t make fun of him anymore :(((

China: bruh fuck you Japan

Japan: EW YALL SHARING PHONES AGAIN????

China: yeah what about it hoe

China: ugh fuck you bruh I don’t have the energy to say shit

Japan: damn bro you okay

SK: my bro is not responding with his usual aggressiveness

China: I just threw up and probably saw blood in there idk I can’t see shit and ofc I’m not okay

Japan: lmao did my bro get pregenante

China: WHAT THE FUCK

SK: SHUT UP THAT IS DISGUSTING

Japan: ik but like

Japan: it’s possible right

Switzerland: I originally do not want to participate in this disgusting debate, but to answer your question, yes. All of our bodies are built with both male and female reproductive systems, unlike most humans who only have 1. So it is possible that he might be pregnant considering we already past the age when we hit puberty and the fact that he has a boyfriend.

Japan: AYO SINGA IT’S A MPREG MOMENT

Singapore: what the fuck

Singapore: I don’t want to hear that nasty shit between real life couples tf

Japan: and yet you write and read many Mpreg fics

Japan: didn’t know my girlie was a hypocrite smh

Thailand: Singa you shouldn’t be like this :(

Singapore: I LITERALLY SAID I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THAT NASTY SHIT BETWEEN REAL LIFE COUPLES

Singapore: REAL LIFE COUPLES

Japan: girl there is no difference

Singapore: yes there is

Singapore: at least the fictional characters are like hot and sexy unlike these twinks

Japan: girl China is dead built like a tree you cat just call him a twink 😭

Japan: and ZL and Childe are literally pixels stop calling them sexy bro

Singapore: shut up I can and I will

NK: bruh thwus it why I hate lesbians tf

NK: and guck you all I sm  nt fucknv pregnant

Japan: oh you’re back to using your own phone lol

Japan: and nawr you definitely are pregnant

China: I would be quite concerned if he actually is.

Japan: go buy the pregnancy test I wanna see if it’s positive

Japan: or just go to a fucking doctor like a normal person to see whatever sickness you have

NK: …

NK: I guueww I wiwll

2 users are offline

Japan: LMAO HE’S ACTUALLY GOING TO DO THAT?????

SK: gaslight gatekeeper girl boss i guess

Russia: omg I wonder what their child going to look like 😍

Japan: WAIT FR THOUGH

Japan: like will it be a dragon just like China lmao

Japan: or will it inherit the Korean bros very weird but unique looking eyes hehe

JE: why not both?

ASEAN: you all better shut the fuck up with these messages I’m literally trying to teach the class and I cannot concentrate with y’all talking about possible teenage pregnancy

Japan: uh okay Ma’am

10+ users are offline

Monday, 12.45 PM

Japan: I kinda forgot to ask but hey Northy are you okay

NK: no im fuckng not m i=on my detahbed ugh

Japan: oh damn are you pregnant

SK: can I see the ultrasound 😍

NK: NO TF

NK: its jsutr a miotr sikcnes

Japan: wow it’s so minor that you coughed up blood and shit

SK: “it’s just a minor sickness bro” he said as he vomited shit along with lots of blood

NK: treh nlood thing is noemrl

SK: my bro coughing up blood isn’t normal tf it’s abnormal

NK: welwel it’d; nrsoomol; foe hme

SK: dude you should go to sleep and eat ur meds

NK: weewl I wars tring bergfo tyall wker me uop

NK: mmorhrrficker

SK: omg

SK: mmorhrrficker

Japan: you heard of mother fucker and mother cucker now get ready for mmorhrrficker 🤩🤩

NK: I hoepe youer fahdbfucs geget toasfdtesdNksmkssmmsks

1 user is offline

Japan: did he just fall asleep mid text

Japan: and what the fuck is the twinky man saying

China: he said that he hopes your fanfics get toasted

Japan: BRUH TF

Japan: baby girl hasn’t taken his meds

China: don’t call him your baby girl the fuck

Japan: I can and I will :3

Singapore: omg

Singapore: yummy toast fanfics on a Monday midnight lmao

Japan: damn this is what withdrawal from A03 fics for a month does to a person

Singapore: yeah bye I’m gonna read a KavehTham smut fic now

Japan: also China did you transfer any of your diseases to your boyfriend I don’t think he was this sick before

China: I didn’t you piece of shit

China: it’s more possible that your stinky ass piece of shit brother did so

JE: what the fuck did I do to get dragged into this argument tf

China: exist

JE: okay fair enough

Chapter Text

Monday, 4.29 PM

SK: just a hypothetical question,

SK: do like the people with animal traits here feel pleasure when their animal parts get touched

SK: like what if I touched their tail on accident would they moan or some shit like that

NK: this is why is wish we aren’t related

SK: HYPOTHETICALLY BROTHER

NK: I’m disowning you

SK: HYPOTHETICALLY!!11!!!!

NK: THAT DOSEN’T CHANGE THE FCAT THAT IT’S UTTERLY DISGUSTING

NK: I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHY AND HOW YOU THOUGHT OF THAT QUESTION

SK: shower thoughts

NK: MY POINT STILL STANDS.

Japan: THAT IS SO FUCKING NASTY WTF 😭

JE: agreed like what the fuck

Japan: how would you know huh you’re practically bitchless

Japan: unless you slob over your little pee pee

JE: why tf are you describing yourself I thought you were talking to me

Japan: SHUT UP I DO NOT SLOB OVER MY OWN DICK TF

SK: wait Japan I thought you were female???

Japan: I think bro failed P5 science how is this bitch so dumb

SK: SO WHAT IF I DID I DIDN’T PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS OKAY

Japan: South is actually dumb asf confirmed

SK: I’m gonna cry

Switzerland: South, us countries have two reproductive systems instead of one like normal humans, which means yes we have balls and holes yes we’re built different.

Austria: I love you honey but never say balls and holes again I nearly vomited at that

Switzerland: they’re gen Zs they won’t understand if I say penis or clitoris

Austria: the way I just nearly puked

Switzerland: I’M SORRY BUT HOW AND WHAT TF DO I CALL THEM TO NOT MAKE THEM DISGUSTING

Austria: just, don’t use those words

Switzerland: we’re literally science teachers and maybe even scientists and doctors but okay

SK: hey Chi

China: I know what you’re going to say next South and no I am not going to answer that shit.

SK: damn it

JE: I’m pretty sure your brother knows the answer

SK: IH YEAH RIGHT KMAO

SK: anyways my dearest brother!

NK: no way I’m answering that shit bruh

SK: I will give you $100

NK: tempting, but I will never answer that. Ever.

SK: FUCK

White Rose: why tf are you asking him about animal traits he literally doesn’t have any

Free Thai: did you miss the fact that he and China are dating and fucked like a few days/weeks back????

White Rose: HUH WHAT THE FUCK

White Rose: I WASN’T ONLINE DURING THAT TIME

White Rose: AREN’T YOU BTOH LIKE 16

SK: they are lol

White Rose: bye I’m gonna jump off a cliff

Free Thai: feeling froggy? Leap

White Rose: IM GOING TO THROW A TABLE IN YOUR NON EXISTENT FACE BITCH

Free Thai: DO IT THEN PUSSY ASS

White Rose: DON’T SAY YOU REGRET IT WHEN I DO IT

Free Thai: I DON’T SEE YOU PICKING UP A TABLE YET HUH SCARED PUSSY ASS BITCH?

2 users are offline

Japan: damn they’re so violent

JE: you and South Korea fight all the time and throw shits around I don’t see why you’re shocked

Japan: holy shit you got a point

JE: fucking dumbass

Malaysia: SINGA WONT STOP SINGING THIS SONG THAT HAS THE MC DESTROY PEOPLE’S PERFECTLY NORMAL DATES CAUSE THEY HAVE A CRUSH THEY’RE TOO PUSSY TO ASK OUT AND ITS SO ANNOYING CAUSE SHE SINGS AT MAX VOLUME AND WHEN I TRY TO TELL HER TO STOP SHE THROWS ME OUT OF THW WINDOW

White Rose: she throws people out of windows???

White Rose: I thought she was more of the sane and normal kind of people

Free Thai: I thought she had twig arms

Indonesia: LMAO YEAH she does

Malaysia: idk she prbly used all of her strength to throw me

Malaysia: AND ALSO SHE DOSEN’T NORMALLY THROW PEOPLE

JE: how the fuck did you survive

Indonesia: his ass is built like a cushion lmao

JE: .

Indonesia: I did not think what I was typing and I immediately retract my statements.

Malaysia: bro you suck ass

Indonesia: and you suck dick

Malaysia: ANYWAYS UGH SHE’S GONNA KILL ME FOR THIS BUT IF SHE DOSEN’T SAY THIS BY THURSDAY NIGHT IM GOING TO DO IT MYSELF

Singapore: SHUT UP MOTHER FUCKING LEMON STEALING WHORE

Singapore: STOP INTRUDING WITH MY LOVE LIFE BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT OF THW WINDOW AGAIN

SK: so is anyone gonna answer my question

JE: no

NK: no

China: no

Taiwan: no

Japan: fuck no

SK: damn it

Tuesday, 6.34 AM

UN: This is an announcement to all, please read it if you’re online.

Singapore: it’s barely even 6.30 wtf happened

UN: this morning one of the pipes in the toilets exploded and flooded the whole restroom. In order to fix this, we’ll have to turn of all the electrical supplies and water flowing to Block D. Please do not use the toilets at Block D until further notice.

Japan: ayo what the fuck

Japan: poop explosion???

UN: it was a sewage pipe, but I guess that’s the gist of it.

Singapore: what in the name of the father, the son and the Holy Spirit just happened

Malaysia: Singa you don’t believe in God stop praying

Singapore: might as well convert back

Indonesia: convert back???

Malaysia: Britain used to take us to church on Sundays

Singapore: I still remember when we were forced to eat 1mm of bread and drink like 10 ml of wine that they call Jesus’s flesh and blood when we prayed like it was kinda freaky ngl

Malaysia: agreed like,

Malaysia: no offence to all the people who believe in Jesus and stuff but I think drinking someone’s blood and eating their flesh (not really literally) is kinda disgusting and lowkey cannibalism

Italy: please receive thy holy grace and shut the hell up.

Malaysia: I SAID NO OFFENCE BRO

Italy: and I am taking offenc wHOAHRKHTREGTETG

Italy: SORRY VATICAN TOOK MY PHONE THAT WASN’T ME

Japan: who the fuck is Vatican

Italy: just some dude obsessed with his Christianity/Catholicism that lives in my house along with St Marino

Italy: they’re probably my cousins or some shit but I don’t really know and care

Japan: WAIT THEY’RE THE TWINKS THAT LIVE IN YOUR BASEMENT???

Italy: NO TF

Italy: THEY DON’T LIVE IN MY BASEMENT IM NOT SOME FREAKY BITCH WHO KIDNAPS CHILDREN  

Japan: THEN WHY ARE THEY CREATING CRAZY RITUALS IN YOUR BASEMENT WHENEVER I COME OVER HUH

Italy: THEY JUST LIKE HANGING OUT IN THE BASEMENT TO DO THEIR RITUALS DON’T ASK WHY

Italy: CUASE IDK WHY MYSELF

Japan: I’m never visiting your house again broski

Japan: can’t trust someone who throws their cousins into the basement to summon Satan smh 😔

Italy: fuck you bruh

Germany: shut the fuck up, both of you.

Weimar: damn little man lost it

Japan: nope

Italy: nawr

Germany: I wish I wasn’t alive

Japan: mood

Italy: mood

Chapter Text

Tuesday, 2.43 AM

[Gay ass bitches]

JE: oh my fucking lord I’m so fucking burnt out but this piece of work is due the next day ughhhh I don’t want to do it bruh

China: skill issue

Hong Kong: l bozo lmao

Singapore:  ^

Macau: just hire someone to do it for you

JE: I DUCKING CANT THE BOSS WOULD BE ABEK TO RECOGIZSE DIFF HANDWRTIIGNS UGH

Macau: not my problem

NK: LMFAOOOOO

Japan: literally skill issue brother

JE: I hate you so much istg I will burn your laptop and thumb drive alive

Japan: hell nawr wtf man

Japan: maybe if you didn’t beat the shit out of literally every south Asian country we might actually help

China: facts fr

JE: not every though

Japan: oh yeah

Japan: for some reason you didn’t hit Thai at all why is that huh

Japan: you like her or smth

Thailand: 😧

Thailand: I do not want to date someone who beat up half of the student population with two other equally or more insane people!!

JE: tf no

JE: shes pretty nice and all but I’m aroace

Thailand: thank god

Japan: makes the fact that you’re bitchless feel better

JE: KYS

JE: also I wouldn’t hit a woman

Japan: lies

Japan: I can literally list down the women you had beaten up

Japan: there’s Singa and Phil and Vietnam and prbly Hong Kong

Japan: even China’s and our own mom bro

JE: damn quit exposing me tf

NK: what the fuck is wrong with you

JE: everything 

Singapore: I’m in desperate need of money should I succumb to my intrusive urges and create NSFW merchandise

Japan: girl didn’t you already did so

Singapore: NO TF

Japan: yeah and that one Tortilla body pillow in your room says other wise

Singapore: I BOUGHT THAT ONE BRUH I DON’T MAKE SUS MERCH

Japan: yet

Singapore: yeah yet

Malaysia: HUH

Singapore: SHUT UP MAL I WILL INVERT YOUR ASSHOLE

Malaysia: I’m rummaging under your bed Singa you can’t hide anything from me

Singapore: LOCKING THW DOOR TF STAY FAR FAR AWAY

Malaysia: I ALREADY SAW YOUR OLD POKÉMON COMICS FROM 7 YEARS AGO WHAT IS THERE MORE EMBARRASSING THINGS THAT I HAVEN’T SEEN

Singapore: FIRST OF ALL, WHAT THE FUCK

Singapore: HOW DID YOU GET THOSE OLD ASS SKETCHBOOKS

Malaysia: I have my ways

Singapore: SECOND OF ALL, FUCK OFF

Malaysia: NO

ASEAN: leave Singa alone Mal

Malaysia: god damn it

Malaysia: I will find it one day I swear my dearest step sister

Chapter Text

Just, watch the video below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQxIgnykcnE

For those who can’t/don’t want to watch it, long story short, I am officially leaving the countryhumans fandom due to reasons stated in the video. I will be unlisting all works and orphaning all CH A03 works I have made, including this one.

Farewell,

Ranrin.