Hatoful Nightmare

It began so innocently. Curled up in a tiny ball inside the theater department's wardrobe closet, Mikoshiba wept as he thought about how this all had started. Had it really been just yesterday?

It began when Nozaki invited him over to play a dating sim. Mikoshiba was so excited — finally, someone else appreciated the wonder of dating sims! He could bond with another person over the different titles, pick out their favorite characters ... and since it was Nozaki, Mikoshiba didn't even have to meet someone new! Maybe he could even get some fan-art!

His hopes were dashed when Nozaki handed him the game.

"Hatoful Boyfriend?!"

Nozaki seemed utterly unaware of his scorn. "It was on sale."

"Why would you want to play a dating sim as a girl?" This wasn't even the most important question, but it was the first to pop out of Mikoshiba's mouth.

"I wanted to give Mamiko a hobby," Nozaki said. "Something a little out of the ordinary without changing her status as an Everywoman protagonist."

"But — PIGEONS!!!!!" Mikoshiba waved the box in Nozaki's face, nearly whacking him on the nose. "YOU'RE DATING PIGEONS!!!"

"Isn't it cute?" Nozaki asked with a clueless smile.

Cute. That would be the last word to describe it. If only he hadn't ordered Nozaki to stop reading storyline spoilers ... maybe this whole nightmare could have been averted.

Nozaki finally won him over by saying: "I need your help." Because of course he did. Nozaki was helpless about anything that wasn't shoujo manga or cooking.

"Fine, fine, put it in," Mikoshiba said, and grabbed the controller. "I'll show you how a master gets it done."

He couldn't quite figure out why Nozaki drew a little sketch of Mamiko saying that. It was completely out of character for the heroine.

Mikoshiba was secretly relieved to see there was an option to see the pigeons as people ... well, when meeting them for the first time, anyway. He had to admit, while the concept was ridiculous, the art was very attractive. And that rock dove, Ryouta, was pretty cute ... although Sakuya's tail was really nice looking, even though he was a jerk. It was hard to tell who he should pursue first.

"Of course, as a dating sim master, I won't have any trouble entertaining multiple pigeons at once," he said for Nozaki's benefit. The young artist was still sketching Mamiko.

They reached the end of summer break.

We will execute the termination sequence.

Huh?

Who's there? Ninjas?

You don't need to know. It'll be over in two seconds.

Both Mikoshiba and Nozaki stared at the screen.

It's a sad thing that your adventure ended here.

"I think you were just killed by hawks," Nozaki said.

"Why was death by hawk even an option?!?!?"

"I've noticed this game is surprisingly dark," Nozaki said. "When I pursued the doctor, he killed me and put my head in a jar."

Mikoshiba hurled the controller away and quickly turned off the tv. "IF YOU KNEW THAT, WHY DID YOU MAKE ME PLAY?!"

"The game is very popular among girls," Nozaki said. "Regardless of my own feelings, I needed to see how Mamiko would react."

"HOW DO YOU THINK SOMEONE WOULD REACT TO BEING MURDERED?!" By hawks ... by one of the love interests ... were girls actually into that kind of thing?

That was the true terror that forced Mikoshiba to spend the night, that would have kept him home from school if Nozaki hadn't dragged him out. Sure, he jumped every time a bird flew past, but it was the sight of girls that sent him hiding behind Nozaki.

Dating pigeons and being murdered — what kind of monsters liked that sort of thing? How did you tell them apart from normal girls? Were there normal girls?

He didn't know. He couldn't tell. It got so bad that he ended up fleeing the classroom and hiding in the wardrobe closet, just to get away. But was anywhere truly safe?

"He's been in there all day," Kashima told Chiyo. "Not even Hori-chan-senpai could drag him out."

Chiyo sighed and tapped on the closet door. "Mikorin, it's Sakura. Please come out. We promised to help Nozaki-kun with his manga, remember?"

"NO." The door muffled Mikoshiba's voice, but couldn't dampen the sullenness.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to be murdered by hawks!!!!"

"Eh?" Chiyo stared at the door. Where on earth did that come from? "Mikorin, no hawk is going to murder you."

"They might!"

"No, they won't."

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, I do."

"No you don't."

This conversation was getting nowhere. Scowling, Chiyo turned and walked away.

"What about Mikoshiba?" Kashima asked, scampering after her.

"Leave him," Chiyo said. "He'll come out when he's hungry."

Mikorin sniffled and buried his face in his knees.

Girls are scary ...