Chapter Text
It was mostly silent, and oddly peaceful, floating in the void. There was no gravity, his body cradled in a weird way that felt both disconcerting and familiar. He just wasn't entirely sure why. But he also didn't care anymore. Should he question all of this? Eh, probably. But he just couldn't find it in himself to care anymore. In fact, he could be in Hell for all that he cared. After everything he and his family went through, what they all lost? Well, no one would blame him. Not really. He'd grown angrier and more hateful of all the reasons why they were going through all that pain over the years. The Krang were the bane of his existence, to the point where he refused to touch their tech at all. And it was all because of the stupid Foot Clan! He blamed them and the Krang for everything bad that's happened to him and his family! They caused his family so much pain and loss! And if Donatello Hamato were to awaken in Hell? Well, he certainly knew what Hell looked like now.
But now? Donatello was definitely certain he was dead. He'd been on the Technodrome, giving them a taste of their own damn medicine. As well as trying to give the Resistance about another ten years. Well, fuck. He sure hoped he hadn't failed on that part of the plan. Because his beloved little Space Cadet, Casey, was relying on him. As well as Leo, Mikey, April, and their family! Casey was only 13, dammit! He was still just a kid! A kid fighting a goddamn war that wasn't his to fight! And he'd helped raise the kid since he was an infant! DAMN YOU, KRANG! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! His boy, his nephew, was oh so little. And the Krang had tried so hard to take him away from him! Which was part of the reason he refused to say their name! Hell, the bastards deserved to have their name forgotten! It's a fate worse than death to those who held themselves so high and mighty, like them! Heh, it doesn't matter now, right? After all, what were the words of a dead man now? He'd poisoned himself, made sure the poisonous toxins ate away at his body as he fought the nasty beasts left and right. Made sure they couldn't use him or his body against his family. Cause they weren't gonna let him die fast and painless. They would've tortured him while trying to get information out of him. And he wasn't going to let them get anything out of him, not if he could help it! His Space Cadet didn't deserve that betrayal. They took his father, his older brother, his friends! So he took out their aerial support, as well as took out the Technodrome~! The bastards thought they were invincible? Well, now they had to think again. Blowing all those ships up with their own weapons felt amazing~! Too bad he couldn't wipe them all out from within the Technodrome. After 15 minutes, the Krang discovered him. But he'd given them a good run for their money, and got to die with the knowledge that he'd saved his boy, brothers and sister. And that he'd taken the filth's most prized toy out of the air, and through its' own self-destruct sequence~!
Just as he finished his train of thought, something started tugging at his body. He was too surprised by the sudden shift that his eyes flew open. And he quickly regretted it, as a swirling kaleidoscope of colors met his eyes, blinding his right eye as his left eye automatically adjusted to it. The weird void he'd been in seemed to have just been a black void of nothingness. Huh. Well, okay, fuck you, too, death. Rude. Just sticking his ass in a weird dark void until it decided on where to stick him. Oh, okay, and he was still moving. Wait?! When was he getting off this ride?! Because he wasn't giving them a good rating at all by this point! Wait, shit! That was Leo's thing! Gr, dammit, Leo! Stop making things like that stick in his mind!
After a few more moments, a circle of bright orange, almost golden, light caught his right eye. He felt his eyes widen at that, the implications behind it unbearable to think about. A distinct stinging came to his eyes, one he desperately fought off. No, he was not about to cry if he was to meet his beloved baby brother, Micheal, and older brother, Raph, again. So he stretched out his right hand towards it, shutting his eyes as the warmth of it engulfed his body. Man, it had been a while since he felt Micheal's Ninpo surrounding him like that. He let it take him, and nearly blacked out from a surge of energy around him. Sensation was lost to him as his body was engulfed in a weird pressure. It felt like he was being drowned in the ocean (don't ask. It was stupid, and dumb, and he nearly died cause of it. Stupid Nardo and his dumb ass bets).
Donatello waited a few minutes until the nausea faded and his body didn't feel like it was being crushed. He slowly peeled open his eyes, only to find himself rather confused. The ground beneath him didn't look like anything he'd see in the afterlife. He was pretty sure his brothers wouldn't dump him onto cold- Wait! His right hand felt over the rough and cold texture beneath him. Huh. It felt like a rooftop. Which was concerning, to say the least. Donatello shifted to start getting up, and found his body about the same condition he was in just after the poison was injected. Which was... not a comforting thought. Especially considering his situation. He could only hope that the poison didn't get that far into his system. He moved carefully into a crouch, making sure all four of his limbs were under him and settled on the rooftop. He then lifted his gaze, only to find himself growing alarmed! What? The-... The sight before him was shocking. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He found himself staring out over a beautiful and perfectly intact New York City! Just what the hell happened?! And why was the city in near perfect condition?! His hearing soon came back, his right ear flooded with the peaceful noises of traffic and people going about normal lives. Donatello glanced around the rooftop he was on, briefly, to look for his bo staff. He couldn't keep his beloved tech-bo for long within the apocalypse. Much to his relief, his bo staff was laying a few feet away.
Donatello quickly crawled over to it and snatched it up. He wasn't about to leave it behind! Especially with the situation he found himself in! Though, he had to admit, he wasn't sure what that situation was yet. He seems to be in a New York that had yet to face the Krang. Or... or was he in a New York where the Krang had been stopped? Okay, no, he didn't wanna know! He only wanted to hide away in the sewers now. He didn't wanna get involved in anything! Nope! Nuh-uh! Donatello was quick in scurrying over to the edge and glancing over to the ground below. Ah, an empty alley sat below him with a manhole sitting in a good spot, and not too far. Only about three floors up. Cool. He grunted as he shifted into a standing position. Hopefully his battle-shell could fly him down there. He didn't wanna jump down and injure himself or something. Not with the damn poison in his system. And he really didn't trust the open air enough to inject the antidote. Sue him, he wasn't trusting of anyone outside his family!
Donatello rolled his left shoulder, which had his battle-shell shift into hover mode. Except, much to his horror, his battle-shell gave a few unusual clicks and whirs that told him all he needed to know. Ah, so the Krang had damaged his battle-shell. Well, not the worst thing to happen to him, but still. He relied on the damn thing a lot more than he thought he did. Oh well. Not like he could do anything at that current moment. He heaved out a "Sigh" as he had it shift back into normal shell mode. Donatello turned to the fire escape nearby dubiously. It was nighttime, so there was less probabilities of him being discovered using it than if it were daytime. He hurried over to it, glancing around to make sure no one followed him. Once he was satisfied no one was watching or following, he quickly made his way down to the lowest floor of the fire escape. He grinned as he rode the ladder down to the actual alley ground. Wow, he'd forgotten how fun that was~! Wait, he needed to focus! Donatello shook his head before looking for the manhole again. It was only a few feet away from him. He breathed out a sigh of relief, before hurrying over to it. He was careful in lifting the cover and slipping into the sewer.
Donatello took a minute to breath and acclimate himself to the sewers again. It's been years since he's been in the sewers. Their first base, their last home, had been destroyed soon before he- Donatello shook off that train of thought before he lost himself in that particular memory. He really didn't wanna have a flashback right now! He needed to inject the antidote once he found a safe spot! He quickly set off on a random direction, not caring where he went. He wasn't sure if he'd be welcome back at the Lair, and he was not willing to get involved with the younger turtles if they were there. He didn't want to be pulled into the Krangpocalypse, not again. He also didn't want to curse them with his presence. As he ran, he slipped his left hand into one of his left pockets. He needed to make sure the Krang didn't destroy his easier to reach vial of antidote. Otherwise, it was gonna be a hassle getting it out of his battle-shell, especially since his battle-shell was damaged. If Casey were there, he'd have asked his student to dig through his battle-shell for him. The... the thought stung a lot more than he anticipated.
After a while, he found the perfect sewer tunnel to hide in. He ducked into it, crawling into the darkest corner. Once Donatello was comfortable and sure he was completely safe, he breathed a sigh of relief. "Sigh." He then dug back into his pocket, slowly growing more and more irritated when he couldn't find the antidote. He was pretty sure he put it into that specific pocket! When he still couldn't find it, he growled as he pulled his hand out and into the pocket above the last one. He really hoped that he hadn't lost the antidote, or that the Krang had destroyed it! As he dug, there was a weird noise from the outside of the tunnel entrance. He froze, listening carefully. He wasn't sure what the noise was, but he really didn't want to find out the hard way. So he carefully shifted to hold his bo staff with one hand. His other hand was trapped in his pocket. After a while, though, nothing happened. So he relaxed and heaved a sigh. He returned to his pocket, nearly cursing when he still couldn't find it. He growled as he dug in a little deeper. His fingers just brushed against what felt like the antidote when someone coughed nearby. He froze at that, before slowly turning to the entrance to his tunnel. He expected a homeless guy, only to find a young, and very familiar, turtle face peeking in on him. Man, little Mikey really had no hair back then. Wait.
Donatello gaped at his younger brother, obviously years younger, before bolting from the tunnel. He used a hand to force Younger Mikey out of the way as he tried to flee. He only felt a little bad for a moment, before a sharp burning pain shot through his chest a moment. Ah, right, he was still poisoned. But he only got about ten to twelve feet away from Mikey before golden chains suddenly wrapped around him. He gave a surprised shout as he was knocked to the ground by said chains. No. He didn't want this! Oh, why was Mikey doing this to him? Oh right, because Mikey used to just adopt people into the family. It was a small trait of his that endeared him to others. Which was proving to be his downfall at the moment. He was barely given a moment to adjust when Mikey rolled him onto his broken battle-shell. Then he started dragging the older turtle behind him. HEY! Now that was rude! He huffed as he was dragged along, shifting so his arms crossed over his chest like a dead body. There! If he was gonna be dragged along to the Lair, then he was gonna make it fun for himself!
Donatello heaved a sigh as Mikey continued to drag him along behind him. Welp, it seemed he was going to be stuck with his younger self and his brothers anyway. Whether he wanted this or not. Oh well. He guessed he could get himself and his things all fixed up before leaving. They'll probably enjoy the small chit-chat before he left. But he knew he didn't want to stay for long. Who knew what could happen if he stayed? He really didn't want to curse them, and have them lose younger Donnie. He already- No! Stop! He can't think about it. He didn't want to think about it. IT, the incident. He needed to focus on getting his battle-shell fixed once he got there and cured himself. Then he could work on everything else. Oh, he must've lost himself in thought, because they were already at the Lair.
Donatello was confused when Mikey yelled out into the Lair. "Hey, guys~! I made another friend~!" Younger Leo was quick in shouting. "RAPH! DONNIE! MIKEY DID IT AGAIN!" Wait, what? What the hell was Leo talking about? Just as he was thinking that, Younger Donnie and Raph stepped into the room with exasperated sighs. Raph spoke first. "Mikey, what did we say about kidnapping people?!" From his angle, Donatello couldn't see what was going on. Only that they were apparently angry from tone alone. Mikey made a noise before replying. "Not to." Raph heaved a sigh as Leo leaned into Donatello's line of sight. Raph shouted. "And ya still did! AND LOOK AT HIM! HE'S IN YER CHAINS! WHICH MEANS HE DIDN'T WANNA COME ALONG!" Leo looked smug, before their eyes met. Leo's eyes widened as they stared into each other's eyes. Donatello glared, making sure he understood where he stood on this whole situation. Leo swallowed, before turning his gaze off toward his right. "Uh, Raph? Donnie? The guy's a turtle." Raph made a noise, before he and Donnie also lean into his line of sight. The two wound up looking confused. Donatello heaved a sigh, before trying to squirm in the chains. He didn't care how pathetic it made him look. He needed out of the chains!
Donatello froze when another bolt of pain passed through his chest. Oh, he kept forgetting that. When he focused back in, he found the younger turtles gazing down at him in concern. He was about to respond when Mikey piped up. "Oh, right~! He's dying~!" That made the other turtles panic, hands feverishly fretting over his plastron and face. The trio were nervously murmuring things at each other as they did. He heaved a sigh, before wincing as more pain spiked a bit. "Pocket." They froze, falling silent at the word. He nearly growled. "Left top pocket of my pants. Antidote." That had the trio making wounded hisses. He angled his head and watched as the trio glanced at each other. Donnie was too invested in looking him over, while Leo and Raph were staring each other down and glancing at his pockets. Raph slightly sneered, as if afraid to reach into his pocket. Oh god! He was close to kicking his legs at Raph! It was just a pocket, goddammit! Leo must've felt the same, as he scoffed. "Fine, ya coward. I'll do it." Raph stopped him with an alarmed look and squeak. "Wait! You don't know what's in his pocket!" Leo gave him a smug grin. "Let me guess. His dick? Cause I'm pretty sure he just doesn't wanna die. Also, he's a turtle." And that was a disgusting thought. His dick in his pocket for his brothers to find? Blah! "And why the fuck would my dick be in my pocket?!"
Raph was flustered as Leo quickly searched the same pocket, and found the damn antidote with a smug grin. As Raph tried to come up with an argument, Leo quickly injected him with the antidote. He breathed out a sigh of relief. It'll take a while for the antidote to do its' work, but he wasn't dying anymore. Raph then piped up in relief. "Ah. You aren't chained anymore. Which means that-" The younger turtles seemed to notice something wrong, and gave loud groans. Leo rolled his eyes as Donatello quickly scrambled up to his feet. "Oh great! Mikey's gone! Which means..." "He escaped! AGAIN!" Raph seethed. The younger turtles suddenly turned to him. Uh oh. He tried to bolt, only for Raph to grab him by his own scarf-hood. He choked, his own clothes choking him, before he collapsed back onto his rear. Raph huffed. "Uh-uh, you ain't leaving. We want answers, and yer the only one with them right now."
Donatello growled at that. "No." The trio turned to stare him down. He tried to sneer at them, before remembering the mask. Raph huffed. "Mikey brought ya here for a reason. He never brings people here for no reason. So explain." Donatello huffed. "Look, I'm not supposed to be here, alright. So how about you-" Leo, without a word, gently flicked his hood off. He was too stunned for a moment, but realized the younger turtles were gaping at him. Shit. He turned to Leo with an angry small hiss, only to find the kid giving him a look. Donatello growled as he pulled off his respirator mask. He sneered. "Go ahead, take a picture. I'm sure it will last longer." Donnie and Raph shook themselves from their stupor, and gave him worried once-overs. Donnie was also pointedly staring at his prosthetic left arm, prosthetic lower left leg, and robotic left eye. He knew that Raph also noticed the nasty burns on the left side of his face, obviously extending up and over his eye from under his mask and goggles. He clicked his tongue. "Well, you obviously know who I am now. Tch, not like I could've hidden it all that long. So, now that you do know, how about letting me... Go?"
Raph whined. "No! Absolutely not!" Donatello was taken aback at the conviction in his tone. He then scrunched his snout and growled. "And why the hell not?!" Leo and Donnie both scrunched their beaks at that. "Yeah, no. I'm agreeing with Raph. You're obviously in no good shape to be going off on your own. Besides, what's so wrong with staying with us?" "I also need my data collection! I mean, this is unprecedented! With you around, the amount of data collection will be astronomical! And you can tell me things Casey either couldn't or wouldn't!" And wasn't that the fucked up bit. Having his past self thrown at him in such a manner. The bright spark of brilliance without the constant weight of the whole damn world on his shoulders. Such genuine curiosity, untainted by the cruelties of war and death, from the aliens that brought the world to its' knees. He... he couldn't burden this kid with his scars. This one hadn't lost their father, especially not like he had. And he couldn't curse him with the harsh, grim realities of his world. With the pain of losing their father. No. He needed to leave as soon as he fixed his battle-shell. They needed a chance to live their lives without him burdening them.
Donatello closed his eyes and took in a harsh breath. But, just as he opened his eyes and mouth to speak, Leo beat him to it. "You aren't gonna stay, are ya?" Donatello huffed. "Of course not. I can't. Too dangerous." The younger turtles looked perplexed at the statement. He growled. "Look, I've seen things. Did things. Wouldn't be a good idea for me to stick around. You lot don't need to be worrying about me, on top of everything else." Donnie looked appalled at that, but Raph and Leo looked concerned. "Excuse you?! That is perfectly good logic for you to stay! I mean, wouldn't it be better if you stayed?! We could use your big brain around here!" Leo was quick in covering Donnie's mouth with one hand, his expression set in a hard glare. "No, you aren't leaving. We won't let ya. We can handle it. We've already helped Casey with-" Donatello hissed. "IT'S BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING CURSE, OKAY?! WHENEVER I'M AROUND, PEOPLE DIE! IT WAS MY OWN FAULT MY FATHER'S DEAD!"
Just as the younger turtles' faces crumbled in horror and pain, a voice piped up from across the room. One he painfully recognized. "BOYS! WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!" Everyone turned, and Donatello felt like his whole world collapsed around him. Standing there, in all his former rat glory, was his father. Well, the younger turtles' father. Casey, his Casey, his special Space-Cadet, was standing beside him, with a blank look on his face. His father's expression was angry. "Your fighting has caused me to miss out on a good part of my TV show! Did Maria say yes to Juan's proposal?! And who's the mysterious woman who showed up at the hospital where Julio is?! I don't know~! Now keep it down!" Donatello could only see the slight movements of nodding from the younger turtles. Yet, he couldn't focus on them. All he could focus on... was his father and Space-Cadet. After a moment, Space-Cadet lifted his hands. "Nope." He then turned and stalked out of the room. Splinter paused to turn and watch him leave with a puzzled expression. And that was enough to break Donatello out of his stupor. He turned and tried to bolt.
Everything was closing in around him. His breaths were getting harder to control. His body burned with the poison and antidote running through his veins. Everything was closing in around him! His breathing was getting too unsteady! His vision was warped! Why was the universe doing this to him?! Everything was closing in around him! Trapping him! It was too much! Everything was too much! IT WAS TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! HADN'T HE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH?! After a while, he came back to himself. He was curled up on the ground, hunched over a puddle of vomit. His breathing was unsteady, coming in shaky inhales and rough exhales. He was also shaking, rather badly. Oh... He'd just endured a panic attack. Well, that wasn't surprising in his odd situation. But then the sensation of someone petting over the back of his neck came to him. It was heavy, and massaging-rough. Well, it had to be. Otherwise, he couldn't feel it very good. He was about to tense, when he realized that the touch was familiar. The touch was Raph's, with his 3 fingered hand and the way he cradled the back of Donatello's neck. He felt himself relaxing instinctively to the touch and rubs. Raph was always good at calming him down from a panic attack, in his own unique Raph way. They each were, in their own ways, actually. But it'd been 9 years since his older brother last touched him.
Without thinking about it, his right hand came up and grasped at Raph's hand. Raph jolted a bit at that, but soon returned to petting his head and neck. After a moment, sound returned to his right ear. Raph was softly muttering words of comfort to him as he pet him. Which was very sweet of him. They stayed like that for a few more moments, before Donatello shifted to sit up. He kept Raph from removing his hand as he did so (because he felt like he'd break if he did). Raph seemed fine with the contact, with how he kept massaging his neck. Once he was sitting up, he turned to look at Raph's face. His brother was watching him in concern, his frown and Raph-chasm prominent. But his face relaxed into a happy smile upon their eyes meeting. "Hey." Raph's voice was a soothing balm to Donatello's nerves. "Hey." Raph chuckled, and Donatello hummed. "Sorry about that. It... It was probably a lot." Raph shook his head, his Raph-chasm returning. "Nah, it's fine, Don. Besides, that was a lot. I mean, heh, ya got kinda tossed right into everything at once." He lost his smile. "Casey... told us that he'd lost Raph and his mom, and that you hadn't been the same afterward. And... with what ya said earlier, about ya bein' a curse and you blaming yourself for yer dad's death? It... It worries Raph. And Raph would much prefer you stay here with everyone. Please. Donnie would love for ya to stay."
Shuffling nearby drew Donatello's attention, and- Oh. Donnie was standing nearby, acting like he wasn't glancing over and watching them. Which chipped away at Donatello's resolve to keep his distance with his younger self and his younger brothers. What made it crumble to dust was Donnie's piped up response. "Micheal would be terribly upset if you left." And that was it. He was staying with them in the Lair, whether he'd felt he deserved it or not. Donatello huffed out a wet laugh. "Well, would you look at that? It seems logic and loyalty has won me over." That had Raph and Donnie lighting up like Christmas lights. Donatello then noticed the nasty feeling of sick on his chin and the taste of bile in his mouth. He must make a face, as Raph heaved out a laugh. "Ah, right. You, mister, need ta get yourself all cleaned up." He nodded at that. A shower or bath sounded just divine right now, especially with soap and after everything that had taken place.