Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There are a few secrets that Techno keeps religiously from everyone. 

The first is his real age and what he looked like. He's never lied explicitly about it, but he's kept it purposefully vague on stream and in videos. Thankfully none of his friends have ever pushed it. He'll tell stories from highschool and college, and the fact he dropped out of college, but won’t specify exactly how long ago that was. He claims that he stays faceless for the "cred" and mystery factor. He'll slip sometimes on a technology reference in a story but no ones ever caught it or if they have they've never called him out on it. 

His real age is also the first secret he'd be willing to reveal on the list of them, but his face is something he'd prefer to keep from the internet if at all possible. His friends learning he's 32, instead of vaguely mid 20s, would be awkward, but not the end of the world. Honestly, it's a mystery why the fans believed he was that young, he certainly didn't have or portray that same reckless abandon you would expect from a gaming YouTuber still in their 20's, he'd been making the same dropped out of college jokes since 2013, the math should have made it clear he was older than they estimated. The fact that he also mentioned that he had dropped out of college “a while ago” and has since gone back to higher education “more recently” should have also clued the people in. Especially when he mentioned having completed a degree for the job he had already been doing “for years”. But it seemed everyone remained oblivious to the fact he had been 30 since before he even entered mainstream popularity and had hit 1 million subs when he was 31. 

He should have come clean during his 1 million celebration video, “the history of technoblade” in August of 2019, but he hadn’t. Instead keeping the same vague references to having dropped out of college and going back later. Instead the main focus of the video was on the history of his channel's growth, again glossing over a more minor but still likely important secret about when he basically disappeared from YouTube in May 2016 and didn’t come back till June 2017. It was now over a year after that video and he’d passed 2 millions subs already. Getting increasingly popular while also being seemingly immortal in his fans' eyes. This was the only secret that he had never directly lied about to his friends or fans, but it definitely should have come up before now.

The second secret was where he lived. This one would have only a minor impact on the fans, but his friends would definitely be hurt learning that he was actually in the same country they were, and not in California. He'd moved to the UK before he started YouTube, so it was long before he'd met Phil, Wilbur, and the other Brits. It's just that his accent was still painfully American and all his highschool and first time college stories were set in California. He'd been living in the UK for over twelve years now. His friends had never even bothered to directly ask where he lived, assuming from his stories he was still in California. He had only been partially lying when he denied the invite to Phil’s wedding. Yes, he had wanted to be in MCC 3, but mostly he couldn’t travel back to California and to the UK in a timely manner and not reveal that he actually lived in the UK, and his real age of course. He definitely couldn’t be gone that long when there would be no one else to take care of secret number three. Especially when he had to keep secret number three a secret .

The third secret was the most damning and the one he had kept the longest. There was keeping things like his age, face, and country of residence private, and then there was having a whole child that he'd never told anyone related to the internet about, not even Skeppy who he’d know for over three years, and especial not from Phil who had been his best friend for almost a year at this point. Phil was his best friend and Wilbur a close second. Having a child wasn’t the kind of thing you kept from the people closest to you. Only Techno’s family back in the US and some of his coworkers in the UK knew he had a child, and had had one for a while.

Techno loved his son. He was the entirety of Techno's world and the most important person in existence. Born after Techno went to his first, and only, party in July before his junior year of highschool in an attempt to be "normal" and like the other kids in his class. Techno had skipped a grade when he was younger and had always felt like an outsider once he reached highschool and all the shows, movies, and books he read all proclaimed the necessity of going to parties as a teenager, so it seemed like a simple solution to fix his social status. 

One party and maybe he’d make some actual friends, not just classmates who wanted to copy his homework. He also had a growth spurt since his classmates had last seen him, bringing him to a ridiculous six feet tall at fifteen years old. His chances of a highschool redemption arc had seemed to be at hand. He went to the party, made awkward small talk, got handed a cup with a suspicious drink in it, and was told it would help him “loosen up”. He downed the first cup of liquid fire, and once he was numbed to the alcohol, he drank another three soon after before losing track of exactly how much he had drunk. 

That night he got stupidly drunk and quoted Shakespeare at a very pretty girl from his English class the year before (who was also very drunk and flirting back, admiring how tall he was compared to her height of 5’6”), and only remembered pieces of what happened the rest of the night. It had been a classic virgin teenager one-night stand that featured in any coming-of-age story about a down on their luck social outcast. There was just one glaring difference in Techno’s story than the ones on TV.

Almost exactly nine months after the party and that night, Techno became a teen father to a beautiful baby boy. Two months before he turned sixteen. 

Neither of their parents had been happy about the situation when they found out about the pregnancy, but they supported both teens in whatever they decided to do. Clementine was older than Techno by about ten months, but had never wanted to become a parent at any point in her life, but especially not as a teenager. Techno had made it completely clear to Clementine, as soon as his brain finally caught up and processed what he’d been told, that it was her choice alone what to do with her body, and that if needed, he’d help find and then get her to a clinic for an abortion if that's what she wanted. 

He had refused to tell her what he thought of the baby, not wanting to have any influence on her decision, until she lashed out at just before the eighth week of the pregnancy, and screamed that his opinion mattered too. She explained that while she did not want to be a parent in the child’s life, she didn’t want to get an abortion either. But stronger than her feelings about getting an abortion, was how adamant she was about not sending an innocent baby into the system. So Techno’s opinion and wants mattered a lot in what decision Clementine would make. Because if Techno wanted to raise the baby, then Clementine would keep the pregnancy. But if he didn’t, then she had already found a clinic to go to.

Techno had broken down crying in Clementine’s room and said that he wanted to keep the baby. Confessing that he, despite his outward actions and words, had already grown attached to the idea of being a father and having a child. That he understood that Clementine wanted no part in the baby's life, but that he desperately did.

Clementine kept the pregnancy and the baby. Making it clear to both of their parents that this was her decision to have the baby and then give them to Techno to raise without her being involved.

Techno’s parents had been hesitant about that decision. Asking him multiple times over the course of the pregnancy if he was sure. They got into multiple fights about it until Techno’s dad came to an understanding that Techno would not change his mind and helped get his mother to back down. Techno’s parents had been divorced since he was little and had each remarried with more kids. Techno had lived with his father for most of his life and had never really gotten along with his mother, so his dad’s acceptance was what mattered most in this situation. His mother still demanded a DNA test when the baby was born, even though Techno was the only possibility. The DNA test came back undeniably positive for the baby being Techno’s. His mother’s snide remarks about Clementine firmly ended any relationship between Techno and his mother.

Techno and Clementine were not in any sort of romantic relationship during the pregnancy. The obvious barrier being that Techno was going to be keeping and raising the child when Clementine would not be. Techno attended every doctor’s appointment and was anxiously pacing outside the delivery room when the time came. The nurses at the hospital, once they realized the situation, put Techno through an entire training montage and crash course of anything he needed to know as a first time parent. They gave him advice that the parenting books he read had never even mentioned and did wonders for soothing his nerves. Techno was practically a pro at changing diapers, making bottles, and any other baby care related things the nurses could think of by the time his son was born and Techno got to take him home. The nurses had all cheered for him, much to his eternal embarrassment, when he successfully changed his son’s first diaper in the hospital.

Techno and Clementine remained on amicable terms after his son was born. When his son was a baby she didn’t see him much, since she had gone straight back to getting her education after he was born, but she and Techno had similar interests and were compatible as friends. After they moved to the UK, she would call about once a month to get updates on both of them. They would usually go back to America to visit for a few weeks during the summer holiday break to visit Techno's family and see her for a few days.

The role she filled in their dynamic was more of like a distant aunt or older cousin than something maternal. Explaining that to his son had been difficult when the boy turned eight and wondered why he didn't have a mom. It had made things awkward between the three of them for a while but after a few attempts and heavy emotional conversations, they'd helped the boy understand that it was not his fault and that Clementine still cared for him, but hadn't been ready to be a parent. And that even now that she was older, she still didn't feel comfortable as a part of his life as his mother. She had joked, “You don’t even need me, you’ve already got the best dad ever.”

There had been a resurgence of the issue after his son turned thirteen and teenage hormones reacted viciously with the boy's awkward self identity and knowledge of his place in the universe. Both father and son had already been seeing individual therapists for a while before then for a different reason, but Techno added in once monthly sessions with a family counselor to work through the issues and help Techno understand his son who was a vastly different type of person than he was.

Techno loves his son. He is the light of his world and he would willingly die for him if it meant keeping him safe. But his son is also a little shit. The brat (affectionate) is going to expose them both and it won't even be for clout.

After his son's birth, Techno finished his GED a year later in early 2005, having dropped out of physical highschool to take a self-study homeschool course while caring for his infant son. Techno made an attempt at college in August 2005 for two semesters as an English major. College and a toddler didn't mix well so he dropped out in May of 2006 and went looking for a job. A week after he turned 18, he lucked into a job as an assistant to a text analyst for a museum. He honestly wasn't qualified for the job but the person doing the interview had said, "I've got a good feeling about you," and hired him anyway. He had learned fast on the job and was soon rising the ranks of the museum, within a few months becoming an official text analyst and doing the occasional work as a translator for anything Greek that came through their office.

Things changed when he got offered a position at the British Museum of London in 2008. He'd been working as an analyst for less than two years but had made a name for himself by doing a translation of a tablet found in a cave in Greece. He'd talked it over with his father and step-mom and was encouraged to take the job. The pay was really good and it would be an opportunity for him to pursue a new life and return to higher education since the museum worked closely with the various London universities to offer programs and degrees in the thing Techno had been doing for two years already.

Techno and his son moved across the Atlantic a month after his son turned 4 and month before Techno turned 20. Techno's new job was amazing. He had better hours and better pay and the museum even provided daycare for his son. 

The only thing Techno regrets is that his son almost immediately picked up a British accent from his daycare friends and it has stayed that way ever since. 

Techno worked at the museum for the next five years without any fuss, translating and interpreting a wide range of things from all over the world, though he continued to specialize in anything Ancient Greece. He started getting official degrees and certifications for the work he was already doing. The first degrees he got were in Greek and Spanish but more soon followed. They moved from an apartment to a townhouse when his son was seven and life was simple. In those five years, Techno completed five degrees in various languages and was debating on attempting to get a doctorate. But then the museum got a new intern in 2013. The intern was 16 and liked to talk everyone's ear off during lunch and breaks. It was from the intern that Techno learned of the wonders of YouTube gaming.

Techno had been playing the occasional video game his whole life. The habit had dropped off when his son was first born but he'd picked it back up once in London. The idea that Techno's hobby could also be a job? Crazy. Techno didn't need the money, his museum salary more than covered the cost of raising a single child, but if he was going to play the games anyway…

He created the channel Technoblade in October 2013 when he was 25, the channel name being a suggestion from his son.  The "Blade" part of Technoblade being a reference to the fact that he would compete in fencing tournaments occasionally and had collected a few decorative swords as well as his multiple fencing epee, foils, and sabres. Combined with his unique first name, which almost no one thought was his actual legal name without seeing proof, and he had a unique and memorable username to build a brand off of.

From day one his son was his biggest supporter in all things YouTube. He thought it was the coolest thing ever and begged to be able to start his own channel. Seeing as he was only nine and a half, Techno denied his request. He did let his son play with him for his tenth birthday. Letting his son be in a video, but applying a voice filter to anything the boy said and saying in the video that it was his little brother playing and never saying the boy's name. His son had pouted at that and Techno then had to give the big "internet safety and how to avoid creeps" speech in a manner the ten year old would understand.

And so life continued. YouTube was a side job for the most part. Techno telling no one else about the channel, keeping it just between him and his son. Between parenting and a fulltime job where his skills were in high demand at the same time he was pursuing a doctorate, he managed one video about every two weeks. Mainly focusing on the game Minecraft and its various pvp servers. Youtube was his hobby and occasional passion project during bursts of ADHD hyperfocus. There were times when he could do videos more often, like if the museum had nothing for him to do or he was in between exams. On the flip side there were a few times he only managed one video a month or none at all if he got swamped in work for the museum or his doctorate thesis. Despite all this life was good. He hit 100k subscribers a few months after his channel turned two years old. His growth seemed steady and he put in the effort to keep up with the videos even as he entered the final stages of earning his doctorate by the end of February. He finished his doctorate and life was looking good for the next two months.

And then it wasn't. It could have been a lot, lot worse than it was, but the next thirteen months would be a dark time for the father-son duo.

Two weeks after his son turned twelve in 2016, Techno was injured in a fencing match. A small tear in his shoulder muscles. No big deal. Until the x-rays and then further CT scans found the beginning stages of cancer in his arm. They had caught the cancer almost as early as possible. If he had been scanned even a month prior they might have missed it. He immediately began the treatment program. It hadn't been a good time for anyone.

Techno had to basically abandon YouTube for the year he was in treatment, only managing six videos in thirteen months. He'd kept his cancer a secret, only stating that there'd been complications in his personal life and health, and focused on taking care of himself and his son. The museum staff had been amazingly supportive throughout the process, allowing him to reduce his hours and take the needed days off after each chemo treatment, and his co-workers helping him around the house and with taking care of his son when he was too sick too.

It was a long year. But just after his 29th birthday, he was declared cancer free and in remission in June 2017. Techno returned to YouTube in full stride, not only with videos but with live streams as well which began to grow his channel rapidly. Father and son once more bonded over the same game with Techno teaching about YouTube algorithms and how to win in Minecraft pvp. He also returned to the museum at full strength and was promoted to co-head of their department.

He and his son celebrated his success by eating way too much ice cream and Techno making the promise that when his son turned 14 next spring, he could start his own YouTube channel. Under Techno's strict supervision of course.

His son had held him to that promise and together, on April 9th 2018, they clicked "Create Account" on a channel that would take the world by storm. 

Eventually. Techno's son had some work to do before he would eventually become a world record holding Minecraft streamer. 

In 2019 is when the Technoblade channel started to gain attention and rapid growth. Hypixel SkyBlock and Minecraft Monday became the gateway to stardom for not only himself, but his son as well. While his son favored Twitch for streaming, Techno stuck with YouTube. The money Techno earned from the Minecraft Monday tournaments was used to upgrade both of their computers and also to fund a day trip to an amusement park.

Techno's main stomping ground of the Minecraft world was anything pvp related. But during Minecraft Mondays is when Techno met Phil and Wilbur. Becoming close friends with the two men, hanging out together on discord or in each other's streams. Then a few months later, Wilbur created the idea for SMPEarth.

Up until SMPEarth, father and son had made sure to avoid each other in the online world even if they were on the same servers. They never saw or spoke to each other during larger events, and his son only referenced "The Great Technoblade" in a joking hero worship way when his chat or online friends brought the famous YouTuber up.

As far as the internet was concerned, YouTuber and PVP Master Technoblade, had absolutely no idea that Twitch Streamer and literal Child™ TommyInnit existed.

The fact that TommyInnit was actually Technoblade's son, real name Theseus Olympus Simons, was something they had never told anyone. Not even Theseus's school friends knew that their friend's dad was a YouTuber with over a million subscribers.

Theseus, or his more preferred nickname Tommy, had wanted to prove he could make it on his own as a content creator without riding his dad's coat tails.

Tommy was proud of how far he'd come in the year and half since he made the TommyInnit channel on his 14th birthday. Tommy's online persona was almost the complete opposite of his dad's. Loud, brash, and really annoying. Not that he had to act much. He was a teenage boy, crude humor and immaturity was his whole thing. He made his own videos and did his crazy schemes all on his own, but his Dad's advice and almost five years of lectures on how algorithms worked, definitely helped make him more popular and get more views than he would have on his own.

When Tommy got his invite to SMPEarth, at first he'd been ecstatic! He was going to be the youngest member of the server! He hadn't even had to ask for the invite! This was the proof! He'd made it to the big leagues just like his dad.

Oh shit. His dad. Technoblade was already going to be a part of SMPEarth. The same SMP Tommy had just been invited too. Tommy had been invited by WilburSoot, who had admired his dedication and channel growth at such a young age. The same Wilbur that was friends with Techno after Minecraft Monday. Meaning that Tommy would be on the same server meant for streamer-to-streamer interaction. Meaning he might end up having to interact with his dad! 

He wouldn't be able to avoid it most likely, his chat would obviously know they were on the same server. And the joking hero worship he'd portrayed before would no longer be just jokes, "Someday chat! Someday I'll be a big enough man that The Blade will notice me and say, 'TommyInnit you are so cool and I wish I could be like you!' He will be the one asking me for PVP advice!"

Tommy stared at the waiting invite from Wilbur in his discord inbox. Fuck.

He'd immediately scrambled out of his room and raced to his dad's second office. The one used for museum related things, not the streaming office, for once. His dad had recently gotten into a potato war, of all things, on skyblock and had only left his office when he absolutely had to for work at the museum, often leaving Tommy in charge of farming the potatoes for him if Tommy was home when his dad wasn't. Tommy admired many things about his father, but a potato war against a guy only a few years older than Tommy was not his dad's greatest moment. Tommy had seen the detailed multi-page plan his father had created for how he was going to beat SquidKid.

Tommy had rightfully called his father a nerd for that. The fact his father had been designing his very own YouTooz Figurine at the same time only made him slightly less of a nerd.

He'd burst through the office door, startling his dad who was reading through some big heavy looking book.

"DAD!"

"Theseus." His dad raised an eyebrow at the intrusion and Tommy’s generally hyper state.

"I got invited to Earth!"

Both eyebrows raised. "I don't know how to tell you this, but you've been living on Earth for fifteen years already."

Tommy wrinkled his nose. "Not planet Earth! The SMP!"

Techno's eyes widened. "Oh. Wow. Congrats. That's amazing!"

Tommy shook his head. "No! Not amazing!"

Techno frowned slightly. "But this could be amazing for your channel, there's a lot of big name's on the server."

Tommy face-palmed and screamed into his hands. He loved his dad, but holy fuck was he oblivious sometimes.

Tommy looked up and glared at his dad. "Yeah, big names. Big names like you!"

Finally his dad made the connection and shock filled his face. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh. What are we gonna do?"

His dad didn't have an immediate answer. "Uh. Well. Do you want to be on the SMP?"

Tommy snorted and showed his heritage when he deadpanned, "Obviously."

Techno glared for a moment at his son's sarcasm, now was not the time, before softening and responding. "Then I say go for it."

Tommy sputtered, having expected more protest. "But what about if we run into each other?!"

Techno wrinkled his nose. "It's a big map with lots of people. Phil and I have been talking about heading off to a corner of the world to make our own faction. It shouldn't be too difficult to avoid each other. And if necessary for any, like, whole server event, there shouldn't be any reason that we'd need to directly talk to each other."

It was a solid plan but Tommy was still nervous. The last thing he wanted was to accidentally reveal that they were related. Tommy’s chat knew he lived with his dad, an incident a few months ago where Tommy forgot to tell Dad he went live and Dad tried to make him come do chores. Luckily chat hadn't been able to hear what his Dad said, or they would have learned his real name was Theseus. Oh.

Tommy felt his face split into an evil gremlin grin.

His dad rolled his chair back slightly. "I don't like that look. Stop that."

Tommy cackled. "You're gonna have to call me Tommy!"

Techno blanched. "No."

"This is it! I'm gonna win the bet!"

Techno groaned. "This shouldn't count."

"Nope!" He popped the 'p'. "You specifically said 'ever' so there's no excuses!"

Techno glared light heartedly at his son. Theseus was a perfectly fine name and his son just didn't appreciate the fact that Techno took the care to name him after one of the very few Greek heroes who had a happy ending. The nickname Tommy had come from a few years back when Theseus was starting secondary school, and a teacher misread Theseus as Thomas somehow, and that stuck with his son's classmates and quickly morphed into Tommy. 

Techno had refused to use the nickname. (To a limit that as long as his son didn't genuinely want to go by a different name (or pronouns, Techno was very open about being an LGBTQ+ ally on his channel and Theseus had always been aware that Techno would love him no matter what. (Theseus is also aware that had he been born a girl, his name would have been either Athena or Artemis.))) He had picked a perfectly good name for his child and that his son deserved to have a unique and special name. Not something as common as Tommy. 

Tommy hadn't cared at the time. He'd gone by Theseus, or Thes from his primary school classmates sometimes, for twelve years by the time the nickname Tommy came about. It was when they were deciding what to name his channel before his 14th birthday that the bet came into being.

When trying to pick a name, they'd basically been tossing random words at each other to see if something sounded good. They hadn't made any progress and his birthday was getting closer so he'd started asking Eryn and Freddie for suggestions. Neither had been helpful at first until Freddie said, "Well, your name's Tommy, innit? You can do something with that." Tommy had immediately known that was it. 

Techno, hadn't been impressed. "So your username will be a nickname from a teacher who misread your name two years ago, smashed together with the British slang for 'isn't it'."

Tommy had insisted that it would be a huge success. Techno had relented, but had said, "Just don't expect me to ever call you that. No matter how famous you get you'll always be Theseus to me."

Tommy had been incensed at that and took it as a challenge that became a bet. "I bet I can get you to call me Tommy before I turn 16!"

Techno had snorted. "Yeah right. Sure. I'll take that bet."

"What's my prize for when you lose, old man?"

Techno glared. "Shut. I am not even 30 yet. And fine. If you win, which you won't because I've been using Theseus for fourteen years and have no reason to stop now, I'll teach you to drive my motorbike on your next birthday." The specific caveat of "on your next birthday" meant that even if Techno did somehow lose, his son would be at least 15, if not a more likely 16, when he started learning.

"But if I don't say it then you have to wait till 17 to get your permit and then I'll teach you."

"Deal!" Tommy had been begging to learn since his dad got the bike when Tommy was eleven. His dad obviously refused, leaving Tommy to be a sad little passenger backpack not allowed to touch the handles or pedals at all. Both because it was terrifying to think of his gremlin chaos child in control of any vehicle, but especially a motorcycle, and (this was the important part) because it was technically illegal before he was 16 and a half and could apply for a learners license first.

Techno now blamed his past self for being so arrogant as to accept a bet from his chaos incarnate fourteen year old spawn. He'd made it a year and half without a single close call or slipup. Always saying "your" or "the" when talking about Theseus's channel.

"Fine. The bet will remain active. But you aren't allowed to force interactions between us. The bet isn't worth your safety."

Tommy nodded seriously. His dad had made it very clear from the beginning that keeping Tommy a secret from Techno's chat, and now Techno from Tommy’s, was to protect Tommy from the potential backlash of Techno's haters and other creeps on the internet. And now that Tommy was a steamer of his own right, if the internet figured out they were related, then his classmates would find out. Then they might be able to find Technoblade's real identity. Currently, only Eryn and Freddie knew about Tommy’s channel at school, but they didn't know about his dad's, they didn't even know his dad's first name. Just calling him "Mr. Simons" or "Tommy’s Dad".

Tommy didn't have a face cam on his stream, yet. His face was a secret from his chat and fans, he’d done a funny “My Face Reveal" video when he hit 5000 subscribers around the same time his dad hit 1 million and did a “elbow reveal”, his “face reveal” had been a heavily pixelated picture and then his poor attempts at a self portrait. But despite his face being a mystery on his channel, his voice was really distinctive. So as Tommy got more popular, and joining SMPEarth would be a huge boost, the greater the risks became of someone from school finding out and leaking his real name to the internet.

"Promise. We've got this."

Chapter Text

They did not "got" this.

The following are excerpts of the various text messages father and son had sent each other since the start of the SMP.

===

"Day 2 - SMP Earth" - Nov 23, 2019

===
FatherBlade: Why are you in the Stronghold?!
F: Theseus this is not what you promised.

CliffChild: Chat wanted it!
C: you didnt evn have to say anythinh

F: That is not the point. After the stream we need to make a new plan.

C: weve been fine

F: It is literally only day 2!
F: If you keep breaking the rules like this we will mess up.
F: No arguing. After stream , go straight to the kitchen.

C: fine 
C: whats for supper???

F: Stir fry.

C: pog

===

"taking over the world - SMP Earth" - Technoblade- Nov 29, 2019
===
FatherBlade: Shush from the peanut gallery.

CliffChild: hey im not the war criminal here

F: That may be but you're also pushing the rules. 
F: Again.
F: So shush and stay in the crowd.

C: why should i? no ones gonna notice and in case you havent heard, my sub count and viewers are poppin off!

F: No, I definitely didn’t hear when you came screaming into my bedroom at six am when your sub count doubled overnight.
F: Totally missed that.

C: just you wait! im gonna hit 100k in no time and then im gonna get even more subs than you

F: Keep dreaming kid. You’ll never beat me.
F: Now seriously, shush.

===

"the chill before the storm (SMP Earth) - Technoblade - Dec 7, 2019

===
CliffChild: got a hit for phil

FatherBlade: Oh. Uh.
F: Make bribes to Pete and I. We'll stay back, Phil will kill you, easy.

C: rude
===
F: Chat snitched. We're going to attack on the bridge. Just die quickly and it can end there.

C: K
===
F: This was not the plan
F: This is the exact opposite of the plan
F: Why didn't you just take your things and leave.

C: i am a man of honro
C: pete was there to, not m fualt

F: Chat wants blood. Run or it's war.
===
F: I have taught you better than this.
F: I have read Sun Tzu to you since you were a baby. 
F: Chat is demanding blood. This is your fault.

C : in m defese, it was funy
C: views be poppin

F: I'm contacting Wilbur. Vengeance is at hand.

C: Dad!
===
F: Wilbur’s not letting this go.
F: He's got a thing for bridges.
F: I've lost control of the situation.
F: He's making me go with him to Business Bay
===
C: Theyr gonna notice you not sayin m name

F: You will not win the bet that easily. It's fine.
F: Wilbur is set on this bridge thing, just keep it going. 
F: Also you're on dishes for a week for this.

C: Dad!
===
F: Two now for being so bad at pvp. 

C: YOU CANT DO THAT!!!!

F: Do you want it to be three?

C: Two is good :D
===
F: Please tell me you did know attempted murder is a crime.

C: … yes

F: Theseus.
===
C: Pls, never say yeet evr again

F: Suffer.
===
F: Did you really think we wouldn't notice you escaping? On a minecart?
F: It is physically painful to go this slow.

C: shut the fuck up

F: Jealousy is unbecoming of you.
===
F: Theseus I love you, but you deserved to have that minecart escape.
F: Also how long are you going to take to type the terms?

C: im focusing!

F: Really? "AlphaMale"? You literally could have used this to win the bet.

C: fuck

F: Sometimes, sometimes I wonder.

C: ????? wonder what?
===
C: I'm stealing your wallet to buy twenty YouTooz

F: How long did it take you to type those terms out and it was all for nothing?

C: i hate you
===
F: That skeleton absolutely destroyed you.

C: fuck off!
===
F: I need mending books.

C: go away!

F: No <3

===

"did someone say WAR (SMP Earth)" - Technoblade- Dec 18, 2019

===
FatherBlade: Okay we planned this. No switching it up this time.

CliffChild: you hafta start using my name
C: chats noticed
C: i keep gettin donos and i know you do to

F: No. If anything it will be better that I don’t. It makes people curious.
F: You will not drive the motorbike till you're 17, and not a moment before. Not on my watch.

C: YOU MADE THE BET

F: And I carry that regret, but I will die on this hill. And since Technoblade never dies, you will not win the bet.

C: you could atleast call me somethin else

F: You are a Child, and I will call you such.

C: i hate you

F: Love you too. Now join the vc.
===
F: You totally almost called me Dad.

C: no i did not

F: I want to add to the bet. If you call me Dad on stream then I get full permission to make fun of you as a coverup, and also no motorbike till 18.

C: fuck you

F: It's alright Theseus, it's smart to not take bets you will lose.

C: cant believe my own fatger is tryin to gaslite me
C: and that it workd
C: your on

F: Pleasure doing business with you. Now focus on your conference thing.

C: dont tell me what to do

F: That's literally my job.
===
F: Did you seriously do the "Alpha Male" bit again? And then mess it up?

C: I am ignoring you

F: Nice to meet you, ignoring you. My name is Dad and I am now seriously reconsidering allowing you to have a facecam tomorrow.

C: Nooooo! You promised! i hit 100k subs two weeks ago!

F: That was before. This is now. Now you have brought dishonor to our family. The shame. It is too great.

C: if you let me keep the facecam then if you lose the bet you can wait to summer to teach me

F: Hmm. And if you lose? If I don't say it? Your birthday is less than four months away, I have nothing to lose here. 

C: ill go to piano lessons again for a month

F: Acceptable. You can use the facecam tomorrow but the second there's even a hint of a leak, it's gone.

C: Deal!

===

"SMPEarth: War against ADMINS" - TommyInnit- Jan 1, 2020

===
FatherBlade: Okay, are you purposefully being this bad at pvp? You could have killed Josh way sooner.

CliffChild: kinda? its hard to fight around lotsa poeple and its more funny when i lose alot and then win big

F: At the very least this will make it less likely for people to think we're related.
F: No child of mine would be that bad at pvp.

C: i feel offended 
===
F: Bedwars after stream on the alts?

C: sure
C: can you help me with maths after?

F: Gross. Numbers. At least you got my talent for English. Despite your horrendous grammar.

C: MY GRAMMAR IS FINE

F: You misspelled "people" earlier. And said “more funny.”

C: … i dont deserve to be treated like this

F: Sure.
F: Show me how much homework you have after the stream and we'll go from there.
F: Pizza or Chinese?

C: pizza!

F: Got it.

===

"Bedwars w/SMPEarth Crew" - TommyInnit Jan 3, 2020

===
FatherBlade: You forgot to eat before stream.
F: Come get a bowl of pasta since the server is being glitchy.

CliffChild: K

F: Seriously Theseus. Come get food now.

C: i will! just a minute

F: You have thirty seconds to come get food or I will call you to interrupt the stream.
F: I warned you.
===
C: do you wanna join us on hypixel? its to laggy to war

F: That is a very bad idea and goes against literal Rule #1 - No interaction on any server but Earth.

C: itll be fine!

F: You have no way of knowing that.

C: theres like 6 other people!

F: I'm only agreeing because there are a lot of other people.
F: I am going to relentlessly bully you every time you try to talk to me during this.
F: I am going to destroy you. No complaining.

C: yes! The Blade clout is mine!

F: I regret this already.
===
C: were hypixel friends now! glorious day boys! glorious day!

F: I am unfriending you right after this.

C: nooooooo :(

F: Fine. It can stay. But only because it would create more questions later.

C: yes! best dad ever!
===
C: i cant believe you just killed me in spanish

F: My wisdom is beyond your feeble mind.

C: what did you even say???

F: Pay attention in class and you'll figure it out.

C: IM TAKING FRENCH NOT SPANISH

F: And? I know 6 languages. You only know 2.5. Catch up.

C: LANGUAGES ARE LITERALLY YOUR JOB

F: I knew three languages before you were born.

C: i already know greek, why do i have to learn french?

F: Because your school requires a language class and it’s good for you.
===

"SMPEarth: Killing Technoblade's Dog" - TommyInnit

===
FatherBlade: Theseus what are you doing?
F: Theseus stop. You know I'm doing museum work right now, I can't get on.

CliffChild: thtas the point

F: You are so grounded after this!

C: you dont have to get on

F: You very well know I do! I've gotten seven messages from Pete already!
F: This is war. AGAIN!

C: shit
===
F: I can't believe you'd do this to Floof.
F: What did he ever do to you?

C: he ate my sneaker
C: i had to be get my revenge

F: So you attempt to kidnap and then kill his Minecraft version?

C: yes

F: You have to clean the dog poop in the backyard tomorrow for this. And you owe Floof an apology. 

C: HES THE ONE THAT ATE MY SHOE

F: Don't leave them in the living room then.

C: Betty and Walter would never do this to me

F: You're canine minions are just as chaotic as you are. They make three times the mess Floof does.

C: yeah but not to me. they love me

F: For some reason. You literally tormented them as a child.

C: did not

F: You chased Walter with a cooking spoon. I have video proof.

C: in my defense i was nine and he ate my hotdog

F: You literally tried to give him a bite of it, and somehow it was a surprise when he took the whole thing.

C: your just jealous they like me better

F: I'll stick with Floof, thanks.

===

"Playing some hypixel" - Technoblade - Feb 8, 2020

===
FatherBlade: I want it on record that I still think this is a bad idea. One of us is going to slip up, the crossover is getting too frequent. 
F: The more times we play Hypixel together the riskier it gets.
F: We know each other's game strats too well.

CliffChild: the only thing at risk is me getting to finally fulfill my dreams of getting all the ladies with my sick motorcycle skills

F: Theseus. No.

C: cmonnnnn! theres no harm in flirting!

F: Need I remind you that you are literally the exact age I was when you were born? Do I need to give another talk? I've updated the PowerPoint.

C: gross no please dont

F: Then you will listen when I say no dating till you are at least 18 if not 20. 

C: clementine says i should be able to date when im 16

F: Clementine isn't the one raising you. She doesn't know how chaotic you truly are. She won't be the one made a grandfather at 35 if I allow you to date before you're 18.

C: then what was the point of the fifty million safe sex talks!

F: Obviously, accidents happen. And I love you Theseus, but I do not want to put the world at risk of whatever hellspawn you'd create.

C: oi! my children will not be hellspawns!

F: Yes they will. My only hope is that they won't exist till you're forty and I'm too old to be held accountable.

C: you literally wont even be that old

F: Unfortunately. But you know why that is? Hmmm?
F: BECAUSE I HAD YOU BEFORE I WAS 16! 
F: NO. DATING.

C: your no fun

F: It's called being an adult. 
F: You'll figure it out eventually.

===

"MINECRAFT CHAMPIONSHIP W/ WILBUR, SMAJOR & STRAWBURRY" - Technoblade- Feb 9, 2020

===
FatherBlade: Goodluck. Be nice to Phil.

CliffChild: i am going to win this!

F: Make me proud.

C: i am going to destroy everyone else!

F: Lol. Sure you will. 

C: sorry what was that? i dont listen to haters

F: Shush. Go bother Phil now.
===
C: DID YOU SEE THAT
C: I GOT FIRST

F: I know! You're doing amazing!
F: Keep it up and maybe I'll upgrade you from Child to Teenager.

C: fuck yes!
===
C: GET OWNED

F: Philza carried.

C: NO HE DID NOT
C: ITS RIGGED I GOT THE SAME SCORE AS MINI

F: Sure you did.
===
C: killed by vikkstar, an honorable way to go

F: I got eight kills.
F: Second, let's go!

C: THE LEADER BOARD IS CURSED
C: I GOT THE SAME AS KRTZY

F: Lmao
===
C: i hate hole in the wall
C: so much

F: At least you have Philza to carry you.

C: Phil is the only man ever
C: why cant he be my dad?

F: Rude.
=== 
C: HOW DID YOU GET SO MNAY

F: I'm just better than you.

C: lies! chat says you murdered!

F: Slander.
===
C: YOU TARGETTED ME IN SPLEEF ON PURPOS

F: I did not. You were just there.

C: i scored higher than you!

F: Don't get cocky. There's two games left.

C: i am so going to win!

F: I will admit that you've done really well so far.
F: Keep it up and there is a greater than zero chance of you not losing.
===
C: parkour is evil

F: Agreed.

C: you got third you cant say that

F: But I did.
===
C: I BEAT YOU IN FOOTRACE
C: HOLY SHIT IM MIGHT BE IN DODGEBOLT

F: Patience Theseus, it's not over yet.

C: DAD IM GONNA BE IN DODGEBOLT

F: Hold. 30 seconds left till scores.
F: Hold.
F: HOLY SHIT
F: YOU DID IT
F: I AM SO PROUD
F: OUTLOUD I'M CHEERING FOR PHIL BUT INSIDE I AM SO PROUD

C: OH GOD IM SO NERVOUS

F: YOUVE GOT THIS
F: BELIEVE IN YOUR TRAINING
F: I wish I could tell the world you are my son and let them know how proud I am.
===
F: Win or lose you have made me so proud!
F: You got this!
F: Don't mind!
F: You'll get the next one!
F: COME ON KID
F: NO
F: SHIT
F: THIS IS RIDICULOUS
F: YOU ARE TRAINING BOW DUELS FOR ETERNITY AFTER THIS
F: SHIT
F: YOU DID SO GOOD EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T WIN THE END

C: ITS WILBURS FAULT HE JOINED OUR CALL AND THREW ME OFF

F: Lol

C: I GOT 2ND OVER YOU

F: Shush! Only 16 points! Still so proud!

C: Can i be upgraded now?!!!!!!

F: I suppose you may have earned an upgrade. 

C: FUCK YES

F: Phil, Wilbur, and I are doing Hypixel but once my stream ends we are going to eat so much ice cream. Until then do you want to come hang out on the beanbag?

C: YES

===

"Skyblock: Doing business with Technoblade" - TommyInnit- Feb 18, 2020

===
FatherBlade: You were warned.

CliffChild: DAD! CMON! ITLL BE FINE
C: PLEEEEEASSSEEE

F: No. Earth is one thing, the Bedwars and Party Games with other Earth members was already pushing it beyond what I was completely comfortable with. If we crossover on SkyBlock then it will keep happening. It's too big of a risk.

C: i promise that it wont be!
C: i have the stuff you need for the potato war
C: pleaseeeeeee
C: please ad me back :(
C: weve been just fine for 3 months! 
C: no ones realized! weve got it figured out! 
C: we wont slip up

F: Theseus. No.
F: Earth's interactions are semi-planned and there are rules. Two nights of Bedwars and Party Games, with multiple other people present, does not mean that it's safe to throw away the safeguards we both agreed to when you started streaming.
F: If we do this now, then the fans will expect it to continue, and I won't risk your safety like that.

C: im almost 16! i can take care of myself!

F: Not on this. It is my responsibility to keep you safe. I've let this go too far already. 
F: I'll re-friend you, but you will not, and I am even more serious about this than the bike, you will not interact with me on SkyBlock ever again. It's not worth it.

C: god why are you so worried about this! no one will figure it out! and if they did im not 14 anymore!

F: We'll talk about this later. Focus on your stream. You've been quiet for too long. Play it off.

C: fuck you

F: I do this because I care.

C: … i know. its just really frustrating cuz i wanna do stuff with you but youre always busy

F: I’m sorry. We'll spend this weekend together. Whatever you want.

C: can we watch Up?

F: Sure Theseus. But seriously, back to the stream, chat and the others have gotten concerned.

===

"Skyblock: Potato War 2" - Technoblade - Posted Mar 7, 2020

===
CliffChild: finally!
C: its over

FatherBlade: For now.

C: NO NO MORE
C: I RRFUSE

F: It wasn't that bad.

C: you literally necer left the office
C: i had to drag you out so youd go to work

F: I was not that bad.

C: YOU HAVENT STREAMED IN A MONTH
C: YOU WENT INSANE OVER THOSE STUPID POTATOES

F: I had it perfectly under control.

C: im telling gina about this on tuesday

F: Do not tell the therapist about my potatoes.

C: you cant stop me
C: i shoulda told her last month
C: you have a problem

F: Lies and slander. Propaganda by Squid.

C: YOU CALLED OUT SICK FROM THE MUSEUM TO FARM POTATOES

F: Gina is our family counselor, it is not her job to know about the potatoes.

C: i am but a concerned son, worried about his father and his crippling addiction to skyblock potatoes and tormenting college students

F: You will not! 
F: Theseus no!

C: THEN NO MORE POTATOES

F: I can't stop now! The plan! You know this isn't over yet!

C: im still telling gina and you cant stop me

F: What did I do to deserve this kind of betrayal?!

C: YOU MADE ME HELP YOU FARM THEM

F: …
F: Fair enough.

===

"Minecraft Championship ft. RTGame, WilburSoot, ToxxxxicSupport" - Technoblade- Mar 14, 2020

===
FatherBlade: I have a higher personal score this time.

CliffChild: yah yah
C: my team still beat yours

F: If only Phil hadn't been gone.

C: big man got married! he automatically wins

F: Maybe. You should follow his example. Waiting and only getting married at 32.

C: i simply will not! i have too many ladies waiting for me

F: And they better stay waiting.

C: not this again

F: Stop bringing it up then.

===

"going outside is illegal so let's play minecraft" - Technoblade - Mar 24, 2020

===
CliffChild: you deserved to be mocked for your pinky

FatherBlade: Shush. 

C: i think i will simply not
C: im still confused how you managed to cut it
C: you literally are a fancy swordsman
C: the blades are your bitches

F: You are supposed to be doing school work right now.

C: how can i focus on school work when there is such riveting content to watch

F: You are not allowed to start mocking me just because you are upset about losing the bet.

C: i would never

F: Sure. But seriously homework now. You'll be back in school next week, so don't slack off.

===

Chapter Text

Tommy did not go back to school in a week. Tommy would not go back to school for a long time. Things changed in the Simons household with the onset of the coronavirus. For one, Tommy had way more time available to stream, record, and edit. He began streaming almost daily and uploading YouTube videos as well. The second thing was that his dad was also at home with him.

Techno had been in remission for almost three years but was still considered immuno-compromised. His dad had basically been banned from leaving the house until the doctors figured out a vaccine or just how bad the virus would affect people with bad immune systems.

During this transition period the father and son had a long and very detailed conversation about what the future would look like for them. With the quarantine having no foreseeable end, both of them were going to be making content more often. Techno would still have some work for the museum on occasion but nowhere near what he used to. Tommy would have his online school but by being physically at home it would give him greater flexibility for content.

When the team forms for MCC 4 were sent out, they had a long conversation about how this change in the outside world would change the implications of if their relationship was discovered.

Wilbur and Phil had both grown fond of Tommy through SMP Earth. Charmed by his gremlin nature. Both Phil and Wil had mentioned wanting to team with Tommy for MCC 4 after his success in 2 and 3. But they also wanted to team with Techno. Techno who was notorious for not getting along with The Child™. 

Father and son came to the agreement that they would keep their relationship a secret from their fans still, but would no longer have the Rules of Avoidance when it came to content. After all, since they lived in the same house, it was very easy to know when the other would be available for a stream or video. They both filled out the team form and on April 3rd when the teams were announced, they shared a look of vicious glee. 

They were going to destroy MCC 4.

The discussion of whether they could tell any of their content creator friends about being related was had, and it was decided that they could, but the person had to be approved by both of them and only if they slipped up. Any slip ups on stream or with untrustworthy people would be immediately played off and redirected, but if it happened during a recording or off camera with someone they'd put on the "Trustworthy" list, then they'd leave it be and answer any questions that came up.

The current "Trustworthy" list only had three people. Philza, Wilbur, and Skeppy. Tommy had argued for Tubbo but Techno wasn't confident in the other teen's secret keeping ability. Techno wasn't confident in telling anyone under the age of 20 after the rather recent incident of Tommy’s classmates finding out about his channel. Which, honestly, was fair.

With this in mind, the father-son duo headed into MCC 4 team practice without the normal pretenses. Fully expecting to be called out on it by Phil and Wilbur.

They were not. Shockingly.

There were only a few comments on Techno's willingness to help out Tommy, but those same comments got immediately laughed away with the excuse of winning trumps anything else.

Techno even brought up it being Tommy’s birthday on the 9th, remarking on the two year anniversary of his channel, and Phil and Wilbur hadn't even questioned how Techno knew that. They'd just celebrated with Tommy on the practice server and with a few Hypixel party games.

They had the finale of SMPEarth two days after Tommy turned 16 and officially lost the bet. Which led to the glorious moment, where father and son stood across from each other, and made their Minecraft peace.

"Ya know. For a child and all, you aren't half bad."

"You're not so bad yourself Blade."

"Don't push it Innit."

Silence for a second, as Tommy and both chats processed. 

"YOU SAID MY NAME!"

Techno cackled. "So long Child!" And logged off right then and there. Both chats freaked out. The ongoing bit had finally come to an end. After 142 days, Technoblade finally acknowledged TommyInnit.

The clip was spread all over social media within minutes and stayed popular for days. Only finally dying down when the time for MCC 4 came seven days later and the novelty wore off as Techno and Tommy teamed up to bring victory to the Purple Pandas.

Techno still refused to use Tommy, but the son didn't care. Innit was a thousand times better than Child.

The following MCC 5 was something.

The less said about Tommy interacting with Vikkstar the better. There were plenty of fan reactions to the SBI consoling Tommy after the games were over. Many people in the chat called Tommy the little brother and SBI the big brothers. 

Techno had wanted to feed into that idea some, thinking of pushing an obvious fake family dynamic to cover the real one, but he could hear that his son was not in the greatest emotional state to play along with the bit. Comforting his son who had just had a disastrous meeting with one of his idols, for the entirety of the internet to see and remember, was his top priority. So instead he just tried to joke around and take Tommy’s mind off of it until Techno could end his stream and go check on him in person.

The chat called it wholesome. And many comments on Techno's VOD would have the comparison to Techno being Tommy’s parent or sibling. But Techno only minorly freaked out when he saw those comments the next day. He had made his decision and no one was being serious about thinking they were biologically related. 

When the MCC streams ended, Phil had wanted to hang out for a bit but Techno made an excuse about something random he had to do. In reality Techno and Tommy ended up on the couch watching Up (for the hundredth time). Discussing whether Vikkstar and Petezahut's reactions were something that had genuinely bothered Tommy and what he wanted to do about it after that. Techno reassured his son that no matter what was said on stream, that Techno knew the truth. That his son was the kindest and most caring boy alive. That if people like the Sidemen couldn't appreciate and get along with Tommy’s internet persona, that didn't mean there was something wrong with the real Tommy.

MCC 6 on June 13, was a mess for many reasons. But not any that Techno or Tommy could explain. Or at least Techno couldn't explain just yet. Because while much of Tommy’s life was now shared with the internet, streaming at least every other day and many recorded videos, there was more than just school exams happening off camera.

What the fans didn't see was the absolute mayhem that consumed the Simons household behind the scenes from March 25 to June 21. Because the onset of quarantine meant there was no reason for Techno to leave and stop farming potatoes. He didn't have to go to the museum and give up valuable potato time anymore. 

The only thing that made Techno leave the potatoes was Tommy (and the occasional Wilbur video). And Tommy was busy with his own things for most of the time. Both Simons men started to lose track of reality. It was very common for them to cross paths in the kitchen and be on completely opposite sides of the sleep schedule.

Also, despite his protests, Tommy was once again roped into the potato war. He was properly compensated for his efforts, the 17 year old limit for getting his learners permit got dropped to 16 and 9 months. Tommy was tasked to cover two hours of manual potato farming a day on the days that their sleep schedules were opposite each other.

The days they were both awake at the same time were usually days Techno also had work for the museum so Tommy would still end up farming potatoes while his dad stared at pictures of ancient scribbles on rocks or paper that was about to fall apart.

Not that Techno needed to continue working for the museum. Even when he only did one stream in a month and didn't post a video for two, there was more than enough leftover savings to keep the house in one piece while he worked on larger projects like the Potato War. A combination of leftover Minecraft Monday winnings, the Techno Millionaires, and a more than decent salary over the recent years, all added up to a happy bank account with almost six figures.

Despite his son earning over $4000 a month from Twitch and YouTube, Techno didn't let Tommy help with any of the house bills besides the internet bill, which was very expensive to support two simultaneous streamers. Instead making his son learn investing and money management. Getting a lawyer and an accountant for his fifteen year old son had been an experience to say the least. Techno also handled anything that a manager would for his son. So while Techno could disappear into the potato void for weeks on end, his son was not allowed to do so unless he had a reason, like falling behind on his homework.

The day Techno ended the potato war for good on June 21, and once all necessary bragging was finished, was marked by an immediate 24 hours of unplugged relaxation. Tommy and Techno went to a park and did as the memes suggested and touched grass. Grass was itchy, but it did give Tommy the inspiration to do a video on "going outside" a week later. It was a private joke between the two, even from Freddie who had come over to be the cameraman for Tommy’s stream, when the meal Techno made for his son had potatoes.

The insanity that started 13 days after the end of the Potato War, when TommyInnit joined the DreamSMP, would change both of their lives forever.

In the insanity of trying to keep Tommy alive while streaming nearly every single day, it took Techno three weeks to edit the Potato War 3 video. The Potato War ended on June 21, Tommy joined DreamSMP July 4, and Potato War 3 was posted July 13. Once the video was posted it was time for MCC 7 where Techno, Phil, and Wilbur got 2nd. Tommy will claim it's the exhaustion from daily streams that he didn't do as well in this game.

With Dream SMP starting to gain traction and attention, Dream had asked for a contact number to TommyInnit's parents. Theseus had insisted that his dad was aware and already had the lawyer and stuff handled, but Dream insisted. The green blob man's obvious concern about his son made him an okay guy in Techno's book. They shared a quick phone call where Dream addressed Techno only as Mr. Simons and seemed too nervous about the call to recognize Techno's voice. The call went well, basically just Dream blabbering for five minutes about the potential risks that 'Tommy' faced while also talking about how great an opportunity this was for his son. Eventually Techno took pity on Dream and cut him off.

"Thank you, Dream. But I am well aware of my son's YouTube and Twitch career and the risks and opportunities it presents. I am a moderator on his Twitch channel and help him edit on occasion. I act as his manager and he's had a lawyer and accountant since SMPEarth. I helped him create his account on his 14th birthday, after denying him from starting one since he was nine."

"Oh. Wow. That's amazing Mr. Simons, that Tommy has you as his support in all this. I know it's been hectic lately and how much time this has taken up in his life."

"I am well aware. But neither of us are strangers to getting lost in our work and having to drag the other back to the world of the living since this lockdown started."

Dream laughed. "I totally understand. Thank you, Mr. Simons, for letting Tommy be part of the SMP."

"Seeing the joy it brings him is well worth the stress the increased attention has brought."

They ended the call and Techno felt reassured that there were other people in the world who cared about his son and wanted him to succeed.

Next for Techno was a hunger games tournament on July 25. Tommy was also in the hunger games tournament and was still streaming nearly every day on the Dream SMP. Techno was very limited in his free time since his son joined the SMP. Techno was either moderating the TommyInnit chat, helping edit the streams into YouTube episodes, or trying to force feed his son in between school, streams, and lore planning calls. Sometimes having to go as far as physically removing his son from his computer chair so he'd go to bed.

They entered August and his son and the DreamSMP was not slowing down at all. The worst part was that the museum had opened back up partially so Techno had more work to do again. Leaving him with absolutely zero time for his own channel after editing the hunger games tournament down. Then, of all things, his son decided that going to visit some of their streamer friends in person was a good idea. His son had begged to join the meet-up that was already planned. Wilbur, the well-meaning but ultimately a bastard, said that Theseus could only go if he brought his dad along. Wilbur didn't know just who exactly TommyInnit's father was when he made that request.

Somehow, in the four months since they'd agree to tell their streamer friends if they slipped up, they hadn't slipped up. At all. The end of EarthSMP meant they had less reason to interact but the practice was already there and in place. It had gotten to the point that it was going to be beyond extremely awkward to reveal it at this point. People were going to be upset and angry.

His son wanted to meet up with Tubbo on the 12th in Tubbo’s hometown, and then make their way to Brighton to see the rest of their friends on the 13th. Which would have been fine, under any circumstances but Techno having to accompany his son to the meetup.

"Theseus, this is not what we planned to do. At all."

"Come on Dad! This will be great! We've been waiting for them to figure it out, wouldn't it be better to be in control of it in case of an accident on stream? This way, if they know, they can help cover it up!"

"I don't like that you're using logic. You and logic should never be in the same sentence. This is a sign. It will all go horribly."

"I have tons of logic!"

"Yesterday you spilled juice on the floor and instead of getting the conveniently placed dish towel five feet away, you used your shirt."

"I was panicking okay!"

"Why?! It was just juice!"

"That's not the point!" Tommy stuck his hands on his hips and glared at his chronically antisocial father. "We're doing this! The fans will never know. I wanna record their reactions but just for the memes or the far off future. You literally said yesterday that the longer we wait the more awkward it's going to be."

"You really need to stop using logic on me. I'm getting concerned. I should call off the trip and take you for a head scan."

"No! We're doing the meetup! And I want to surprise them in person! We can trust Tubbo, Phil, and Wilbur, you know we can."

"It's not just them Tommy. I don't know Fundy or Niki very well and Wilbur mentioned his housemate David also being there. Plus you'll all be in a big group, the chances of you being recognized in public is very high. If I'm there then questions will be asked and my voice is a dead giveaway the second I speak."

"What if we do a small meetup with just the main three and then you can go hide in a bookstore for the day? I'm sure they'll understand if we give them a chance."

"And leave Phil in charge of you without warning? I'd rather he not hate me."

"Dad!"

"Theseus!"

"Stop being a wuss Dad! These are our friends! Phil is more your friend than he is mine! Wilbur too!"

"Fine. But when this blows up in our faces it's back to no bike till you're 18."

"Since nothing bad will happen I'll take that bet!"

"I need to stop betting with you. It's going to give you bad habits."

"Too late now. Are we driving or taking the train?"

"Are we staying overnight in Tubbo’s hometown or are we going back to London and then to Brighton the next day?"

"I figured overnight."

"Did you book a hotel?"

"... not yet."

"It's fine, I'll handle it. And if we're staying overnight I want my own vehicle."

"Oh! Can we please take the bike?"

"Theseus. That is a two hour drive to Tubbo’s and then an hour to Brighton the next morning and then two hours from Brighton to home. I don’t know if I’d be comfortable driving that late with you. Plus that limits the luggage we can bring."

"Then we can stay the night in Brighton before going home, and we don't need that much stuff for only two nights. Plus it would be so cool to show up on the bike!"

"I will never understand your obsession with the bike."

"Is that a yes?"

"Fine. We can take the bike. But if you annoy me on the way down I'm dropping you there and you'll have to take the train back."

"What happened to not leaving me with Phil without warning?"

"Who said I'd leave you with Phil? I'd just drop you in the middle of the road and turn around."

"No you wouldn't."

"Wanna try me?"

"Nope! You get mean when you have to socialize."

"And? You've known for years that Clementine gave you all your social butterfly-ness."

"Makes me wonder just how drunk you were that night."

"I will go get the PowerPoint right now."

"No! Not again!"

"That's what I thought. Now shoo, go tell the rest of the lot that you can go, you've got a stream in 30 minutes."

"Love you Dad!"

Techno watched his son race up the stairs to his room. He sighed and scrubbed at his face with his hands.

It'd been almost a year since he became friends with Wilbur and Philza. He can definitely say that Phil is his best friend. And now he's going to be exposed as a liar, because the omissions are too big to be anything but intentionally misleading lies, in a few days. 

Wilbur and Phil think that he's closer to Wilbur’s age when in reality he's exactly 3 months younger than Phil. They think he is currently living in California when he's been in the UK for twelve years.

They don't know about Theseus.

Both he and Theseus actively lied to and hid that they were related. But Techno knows that the blame will all fall on him. He's the parent, it was his decision to keep it a secret.

This is his fault and all he can do is suck it up and apologize and hope they don't take it out on Theseus. Luckily he's not paired with any of them for MCC 8 so as long as he can smooth things over for Theseus they won't disrupt the event.

He's going to miss his friends. It's his own fault and he is ready to accept it.

Chapter Text

The day comes and Techno feels sick with nerves but he forces it down. His son is excited and Techno won't ruin this for him, more than he already will.

They pack the bike, the storage compartment and the backpack Theseus will wear. Techno doesn't have his own backpack because his son is his backpack. Riding two to his motorbike is more than possible. Techno has been fully certified for driving the bike with a passenger for five years. He and Theseus will take the bike anytime the weather's nice since it's less fuel and easier to find parking in the middle of London with a bike than a car.

Father and son suit up in their riding gear. Techno is well aware of how dangerous motorcycles are compared to cars and spared no expense on making sure both of them had racer quality suits for longer or more high speed rides. For a quick run through town they only did helmets, leather jackets, and at least jeans if not riding chaps as well. The suits for longer rides are fully padded and reinforced along the spine and neck and also form a magnetical seal with their helmets.

They would look very stupid if Techno hadn't paid top dollar to have the suits customized and fitted. It had been very expensive but it was well worth the cost for Techno's peace of mind. Theseus had gotten his suit color customized this last time, since his growth spurt was finally slowing down and this one might fit for longer than 3 months. It was basically an inverse of his t-shirts. White sleeves and legs with a bright red chest and reflective stripes. That way when he wasn't wearing a backpack he acted as an extra bright warning sign that they existed on the road. Techno had kept a solid black motif for years until Theseus made him get a hot pink helmet a few months ago to match his hair. (Dying his hair pink had started once it grew back after his chemo, he kept it at just below shoulder length and thanked the universe that he didn't have Theseus's curls. Those were all Clementine.)

Techno's long distance suit was still solid black but he'd been convinced into a custom leather jacket with a red back panel and white shoulders to mimic his MC skins cape. The jacket was packed onto the bike, taking up a lot of space but Techno didn't want to be in full suit when just puttering around Brighton after the inevitable reveal and subsequent need to remove himself from his soon-to-be ex-friend's proximity. 

They checked the helmet's Bluetooth connection, Techno double checked Theseus's zippers and clasps, and then they were off for Tubbo’s by 10 am. They stopped briefly at 11 for a quick stretch and so Theseus could update Tubbo on their arrival time. While Techno drove, Theseus kept up a steady chatter about the Dream SMP and the lore they had planned for after MCC 8. Techno offered his input and overall just tried to keep his mind off the impending disaster.

They entered Tubbo’s hometown and Techno paused briefly to double check the gps address while Theseus let Tubbo know they were only a few minutes away and to go wait outside for them and to be recording. Theseus also had a go-pro harness on his chest. The bike had a "dash" cam too, but that quality was trash.

"It's that blue one up ahead!"

Techno nodded. Spotting the house and the teenager out in front of it. As they got closer, Techno realized that Theseus didn't tell Tubbo they'd be arriving on a bike.

"You didn't tell him about the bike."

"Nope! Epic entrances baby!"

Techno sighed. "If you insist."

They came to a stop in front of the house. As soon as the kickstand was down, Theseus was scrambling off the bike. Techno glanced over and saw Tubbo's mouth dropped open. Camera in hand but his grip slack and tilted in shock. Techno turned the bike off and took a few seconds for deep breaths before getting off the bike himself and listening in on Theseus's rapid fire chatter at his friend.

Theseus was jabbering away at Tubbo who had stars in his eyes but was also really confused. 

Theseus still had his helmet on.

His son, honestly.

Techno walked over to the boys and rapped his knuckles on the top of Theseus's helmet. 

"You forgot something, Theseus. Take it off before Tubbo freaks out."

"Oh yeah!" 

Theseus undid the magnetic seal on the helmet and pulled it off. His hair was an absolute mess from the sweat and curls.

Tubbo.exe immediately crashed at the sight of his best friend being the face under the helmet. Theseus had an evil grin on his face and Techno sighed. This was exactly the reaction his son had been going for.

Tubbo finally rebooted and screeched, "TOMMY?!"

Theseus cackled and threw his arms out wide. "Tis I bitch boi! Bet you weren't expecting this!"

Tubbo blubbered and Techno sighed. The door to the house opened up behind Tubbo and his dad looked out.

"Is everything alright out here?"

Techno winced and stepped around the two boys who had dissolved into unintelligible rapid fire shouts and noise.

"Sorry about this. Theseus wanted to impress Tubbo by showing up on my bike. I didn’t know that it was also a surprise."

"Theseus?" 

Techno snorted and gave a wry reply, "Well your kids name isn't actually Tubbo is it? 'Tommy' is a nickname he got at school and it stuck."

Understanding dawned on the fellow dad's face. "I see." He laughed. "Well, do you need to grab anything from the bike now or do you want to come in and leave the boys to their mayhem?"

"I should be fine for now. I will warn you now that I do not claim responsibility if my son starts a fire."

Tubbo's dad laughed. "They'll be fine. Toby wants to give a house tour then go down to the beach before coming back to do a stream."

The man stepped back through the door and held it open for Techno to follow. He nodded his thanks, unsealing and removing his helmet once inside. 

"Oh wow. That's an impressive color."

Techno snorted. "Thanks. I've been dyeing it for almost three years now. Theseus wants to dye his red but doesn't think it would match his brand." Techno started unzipping his bike suit, trying to not make it awkward as he peeled the padded leather and reinforced canvas from his limbs and took his boots off.

Tubbo's dad shook his head with a laugh. "I try to keep up with all that branding stuff Toby talks about but it's all lost on me. I'm just grateful that Dream helped us set up a lawyer and all that for him."

Techno nodded. "I handled all of Theseus's things like that last year before he started SMPEarth." Techno managed to get his suit off and folded nicely to leave on a bench by the front door, leaving him in dark blue, almost black, jeans and a long sleeve button up that he then rolled to his elbows. Tubbo's dad takes a few steps down the hallway, stopping at an open doorway.

"Oh! I just realized, we never introduced ourselves. My name is Beau. Toby’s mother is out right now grocery shopping, getting food for double the amount of hungry teenager tonight. My two girls are staying with some friends down the street for the day.

Techno chuckled and stuck out his hand to shake. "Techno. Nice to meet you, thank you for having us for the afternoon."

Beau shook his hand firmly before dropping it and then squinting at the name. "That's an interesting name but I feel like I know it already."

Oh boy. Here it goes. "You probably do. Your son would have mentioned me a few times from Theseus's streams and videos when I was in them."

The connection forms and Tubbo's dad looks at him in shock. Techno winces slightly. "It's been a secret up to now. To protect Theseus's safety and both our identities. I've been doing YouTube a lot longer than he has and wanted to keep him out of my community's drama."

"Well. Can't say I expected that, but I understand your reasoning."

What. "Heh?"

Beau smirked at Techno's clear shock at getting such a blasé reaction. "I'm a father too. I may not understand everything Toby does on that computer but Dream made sure I understood what my son was getting into. If you're in this online YouTube stuff too, then you would know best what to do for your kid."

Techno felt the tension that had been building all morning drain away as his shoulders slumped. "Thank you. For saying that. I've been rather nervous about this whole situation. "

Tubbo's dad smiled and patted Techno on the shoulder before stepping through the doorway into the living room and waving Techno to take a seat on the couch while he dropped into an armchair. "You're a good man, Techno. Your boy obviously loves you and you very clearly love him too. That's all the world can ask of us."

Techno chuckled. At that moment the boys finally came inside, basically falling over each other. 

"Dad! Tubbo says he's gonna give me a tour and then go to the beach!"

Techno rolled his eyes. His son's energy was unstoppable even after two hours of focussed time on the bike. "That's fine Theseus. Just keep your phone on and be back before sunset."

Theseus fist pumped but Tubbo realized something was off, even if he didn’t know exactly what. Not sure whether to focus on the name, or the fact that the voice was really familiar.

"Theseus?"

His son groaned and jabbed a finger in Techno's direction. "He refuses to use Tommy. Theseus is my real name. A teacher misread it as Thomas once and my classmates stuck with it and started calling me Tommy."

"I gave you a perfectly functional name. There is no reason for me to use that nickname."

"You're just stingy because of Terrence." The boys moved farther into the living room but stayed standing instead of sitting anywhere.

"I thought we agreed to never speak of that again."

Tubbo looked very confused but also curious. Seeming to focus on the conversation topic instead of the nagging similarities that his friend's dad's voice had.

"Terrence? Who's Terrence?"

Techno groaned and Theseus broke out another evil smile. "A Karen at dad's work refused to believe that his actual name was real and decided to call him Terrence for over an hour."

"Wait, so what is your name?" The short teenager asked, looking up at him. 

Fuck. Here it goes. He glanced at Theseus who gave an encouraging nod.

"Techno, specifically Techno Achilles Simons."

Techno watched as Tubbo heard the name, processed it, and immediately freaked out. The name and voice combined were too much to deny.

"TECHNOBLADE?!"

Techno winced at the volume but nodded. 

Tubbo whipped around to stare at Theseus. "YOUR DAD IS TECHNOBLADE!"

Theseus cackled and shouted back. "Surprise bitch boi! I, Theseus Olympus Simons, am the one and only offspring of The Blade! Sole heir to the throne of the Blood God!"

Techno face-palmed and sent a look to Tubbo's dad that clearly said, "I don't know why he's like this." Beau just laughed at his misery.

Tubbo gaped at Theseus who had posed with his arms spread wide. This was ridiculous. 

Techno got off the couch and walked over to lightly swat the back of his son's head. "Stop that. Give him a second to process."

Theseus pouted but it didn't last as Tubbo finally processed everything and shouted once more, "HOLY SHIT THAT'S SO COOL!"

Theseus beamed. "I know! I've been wanting to tell you for months!"

Tubbo shook his head, "Dude this is insane! So like all of that stuff on SMPEarth was an act? With Techno ignoring you and never using your name? Calling you Child and Gremlin and all that?"

Techno shrugged and carefully settled back into the relaxation he had achieved with Beau earlier. Tubbo clearly wasn't angry at him, not yet at least. "Partially. Theseus and I had a bet going, long before Earth, about if I'd ever call him 'TommyInnit'. The bet expired on his 16th birthday, right before the end of Earth, which is why I used Innit during the finale and also ever since."

Theseus nodded. "We also had rules about how or when we could interact on the server."

"Rules that you broke on Day 2 by trying to steal from me in the Stronghold."

"It all worked out in the end!"

Techno sighed but reached up to ruffle his son's hair. It was sweaty still but not the worst Techno had ever dealt with. "It did but it was still a massive headache throughout it all."

"This is so weird." Techno looked at Tubbo who was watching them, his eyes trained on Techno's hand that had shifted to Theseus's shoulder after the ruffle.

"What do you mean?" Theseus titled his head.

"Just like, lotsa things. First you show up on a sick motorcycle, then your name isn't really Tommy, then I meet your dad, but I already know him, but not as your dad. And also the fact that Technoblade, the literal Minecraft god, is standing in my living room and has pink hair."

Techno snorted. "It's so weird to hear someone other than Theseus talk about me like that to my face."

Tubbo's eyes lit up. "Wait! So everytime Tommy was going on about his hero-worship stuff?"

Techno nodded. "I was two doors down the hallway or down in the kitchen making snacks."

Tubbo laughed. "That's amazing!"

Theseus was blushing and Techno decided to take some pity on him. "It also meant that I had to stop myself from letting it be known how proud of him I was for stuff like MCC."

Tubbo's nose wrinkled. "How'd you manage that?"

Techno deadpanned and dropped into his streamer voice, "When your whole persona is being monotone, after enough time you learn to keep the emotions contained."

Theseus laughed but there was still a blush on his cheeks. "For our first MCC we were texting back and forth between each event or if we finished a game early. He freaked out when I was in dodge-bolt."

"And then made you train bow duels for three hours the next day."

Theseus grimaced like he'd bitten a lemon but shook his head to clear it away. "It paid off though when we won in MCC 4."

"And then you went and lost 5 right after. He did four hours of training after that."

Theseus stuck his tongue out and Techno flicked him on the nose.

"Wait, am I the first to know?" Tubbo bounced in place, now full of wonder and a bit of nervousness.

Theseus nodded. "Back before MCC 4, we both agreed to tell anyone who found out accidentally the whole truth. That's why we did the 'peace treaty' at the end of Earth. But no one has found out, even with Dad no longer pretending he hates me."

"I never pretended to hate you. Think you were extremely annoying and irritating, yes, but not hate. I just reacted to your persona as if I didn't know you were the same kid who ran away screaming from a robin when you were three."

"Dad! No stories!"

Techno laughed. "Not gonna happen kid. I haven't had new people to tell your embarrassing stories to in a while. My coworkers already know all of them."

"Coworkers?" Tubbo's dad questioned.

"Oh, yeah. I work at the British Museum in London. I'm currently a senior researcher and curator of historical text analysis and translation for the ancient civilizations department. I got a job offer as a lower level researcher in 2008 so Theseus and I moved to the UK from California just after he turned four and have been living here ever since." He tacked on the last bit to explain why he had a clearly American accent and Theseus sounded fully British.

"That's impressive. You must be good to have reached a position like that so young. You don't look a day over forty."

Oh no. The tension immediately poured from Techno and Theseus. Tubbo remained oblivious to the implications but the few seconds of silence were enough to tell Beau that Techno was significantly younger than the jokingly assumed forty.

Techno cleared his throat. "Yeah. It was a lot of luck mostly. I had dropped out of college after two semesters and went looking for a job. A few weeks later I was hired at a museum in California as a low level assistant in the text analysis department and worked my way up for two years. Did a translation of a newly found stone tablet from Greece and got my name out there. The British Museum reached out with an offer I couldn't refuse and here we are twelve years later. I've since finished a few degrees in the languages I translate and completed my doctorate a few months before Theseus turned twelve."

Tubbo missed it but Beau caught the implications and did the math. Techno hadn't mentioned taking time off between highschool and college. And two semesters of college took less than a year. If Techno had only worked for the California museum for two years, and moved when Theseus was four… 

It only took a few seconds for Beau to put the pieces together. The other father's eyes softened and his face settled into acceptance and determination. Tubbo's dad nodded at Techno, making it clear that he understood but wouldn't push the topic around his son.

Techno nodded back and focused back on the teens. Theseus spoke up.

"It's really annoying because Dad knows six languages fluently and knows bits of like a million more. I only know two fluently and am barely passing my French class."

"Really? That's a lot!" Tubbo turned his laser focus back to Techno.

Techno cleared his throat again, pushing down the nervous lump at his anxiety about Tubbo potentially asking his exact age. "Five languages other than English, but I specialize in the older iterations of languages so I can translate them to their modern equivalents or to English."

"Awesome! What languages?"

Techno chuckled, gladly going with the topic changed away from his age. "I’m a quarter Greek, so I grew up learning Greek and English, then there's Spanish, Latin, French, and German. I also know some basic Gaelic from working with people in Scotland and Ireland, but I am nowhere near fluent. Scottish Gaelic and Irish Gaelic are also very different so I get confused on anything beyond simple questions and instructions."

Theseus pipes in. Obviously excited to brag about his dad further after not being able to for years. "He was also learning Russian before the lockdown started. One of his co-workers was teaching him."

"True, but we barely got through the alphabet and numbers before Covid hit and Graham had to rush back to Moscow.”

Tubbo was clearly star struck and Theseus preened under the attention. His son always took pride in the reactions people have when they learn about Techno's skills. Tubbo's dad looked suitably impressed at Techno's polyglot skills and that just fed into Theseus's leech-like ego.

"When did you start learning all those different languages?" Beau asked.

"Like I said, I grew up with the Greek. Not to the point of being bilingual, but probably by the time I was seven, maybe eight, I was at a simple conversational level. I had a grandfather who taught me and by the time I was ten, he would only speak to me in Greek when I saw him. I started teaching Theseus at five and he was near fluent by the time he was nine. I took Spanish in highschool and a semester of it in college. Latin started at the California museum and then French and German after we moved."

"The Museum works internationally to cooperate on bigger projects, which put me in touch with multiple native speakers who were more than willing to help me learn or polish what I already knew. The Museum also works closely with the Universities so it was easy for me to get degrees in the languages I already knew and was learning. Eventually I decided to also go for a doctorate. My doctorate is specifically in ancient and dead language translation based on what I know of the historical version of all six of my main languages and how they connect across Europe. Once I got my doctorate I became the co-head of our department instead of just a specialist."

Theseus interjected with a joking petulant whine. "It's not fair if you ask me. That all I get from you is my height, a good grade in English lit, and an obsession with Minecraft."

Techno rolled his eyes and jokingly swatted his son's head again but only swiped a few of the curls. "You could have gotten my ADHD and bad eyesight, be grateful that you missed out on those."

"Wait," Tubbo interjected, "What about your mum Tommy? You've never mentioned her." 

"Tobias!" Beau admonishes, "Have some tact for god's sake."

Tubbo doesn't realize what that meant for a second before his eyes go wide and he starts sputtering, immediately trying to back track and apologize but Theseus just laughs. Techno shakes his head at the antics.

"It's fine Beau. Tubbo didn't mean anything by it. She's not dead, but Clementine and I aren't together. She's living in America still and is more like an aunt or older cousin than a mother to Theseus. We go visit for a few weeks in the summer, when it's not a global lockdown of course, to see her and my dad and younger siblings. I've been raising Theseus on my own since he was born."

Tubbo's nose scrunches but he takes the earlier warning from his dad to not blurt out the first thing that comes to his head. Theseus catches Tubbo's confused face and shares a look with Techno to ask if he can explain a bit more. Techno nods, knowing that Theseus won't bring up Techno's age.

"I was an accident baby. Dad and Clementine got drunk at a party and I showed up nine months later." Tubbo's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak but Theseus kept going. 

"I'm not ashamed of it." He shrugged and briefly leaned into Techno's side. "Clementine wasn't ready to be a parent but Dad was so he kept me and had raised me ever since. I know Dad loves me and Clementine cares in her own way. The only thing I don't like is that Dad has a fucking PowerPoint on safe sex and shit that he makes me sit through anytime I even mention being interested in someone."

Beau laughed and shook his head. "I'm going to need you to send me that PowerPoint Techno."

Tubbo blanched and tried to protest but Techno just laughed as well. "Sure. I updated it in June after Theseus thought it was a brilliant idea to make a video about hiring a girl to play Minecraft with him. So it's got a newly expanded section on boundaries and the types of harassment that women, and people of all genders, can experience."

Theseus crossed his arms and glared as he prepared to defend himself in front of his friend and said friend's dad, this disagreement was one they had before. "It was a bit! I made sure she was okay with it beforehand and had her approve the video and everything before it was posted! We even had signal code words in case anyone felt uncomfortable! I was also already paying her way more than I said I did in the video." 

"Just because you handled that specific situation appropriately and professionally doesn't mean there wasn't more for you to learn." Techno rolled his eyes to Beau who was smirking. "Why you insist on continuing the bit of a desperate horny teenage boy I will never know."

"It's funny! Because even if I'm not those things," Theseus pointedly glared at his dad and Techno raised a responding eyebrow before his son continued, "Most of my fans are the same age as me and find it either funny to mock my bad flirting, or feel empathy for also being unable or not allowed to date yet. Either way it gets a load of views! That video was one of my best before Dream SMP started."

Beau laughed. "Glad to see that raising teenage boys isn't that much different for anyone else. Toby hasn't shown much interest in dating yet but I'll still take that PowerPoint for when he does."

Techno shared a smile with the other dad. "Sure. Give me your email and I'll send it over when we get home the day after tomorrow."

Tubbo groaned and reached out to grab Theseus's arm, which was still clad in the red and white bike suit, and started to pull him out of the living room.

"I'm gonna do the tour now and then we'll change to go to the beach!"

Beau waved his son off and Techno nodded. "Have fun. But I want a text every hour and a proof of life picture at three."

"You got it!" The boys raced up the stairs towards Tubbo's room and both dad's smiled at the sound of the boys laughing.

Chapter Text

Beau shook his head and looked wistfully to where his son disappeared. "Toby's never been great at making friends. It's nice to see him like this. He's been so excited while also sick with nerves."

Techno chuckled. "Theseus has a way of connecting with people. He gets all of that from Clementine. You've gathered that I'm wary of this meetup and the reveal of everything."

Beau nodded. "You've done a good job with him. I can't say for sure how the others will react, but if they're good people they'll understand why you did it and respect the choices you made to keep him safe." The man looks directly into Techno's eyes as he says the next part. "You did the best you could in a situation that many would never understand or know how to deal with. If you don't mind me asking how old are you?"

Techno swallowed. "I turned 32 in June. Theseus was born two months before I turned 16."

Beau walked over and clapped Techno on the shoulder, "That just makes it even more impressive. I was 26 when Toby was born and was scared out of my mind, worried that I would be a failure of a father. Same for both of his sisters. I also had my wife at my side the whole time to help me. The fact you managed that at ten years younger than I did and on your own?" Beau chuckled under his breath before continuing. "Makes me a bit jealous to be honest."

Techno shook his head. "Don't be. Seriously. I had my dad and step-mom to help for the first two years. They helped immensely with babysitting while I finished my GED and then made an attempt at college. Without that help during that time I would have never gotten to where I am now. I would have had to completely drop out of highschool to support him and would have never even considered college if they hadn't insisted."

Beau smirked. "I had all of my wife’s sisters and my parents to help us out when Toby was born, and I still felt like it was impossible. That's not the part I was talking about that makes me jealous. It's your obvious dedication and devotion to your son."

Beau stepped back to lean against the couch arm as he talked. "You got tossed into being a parent with little warning and didn't back down from the challenge. Most parents already have their lives figured out by the time kids become part of the picture. You didn't. But you didn't let that stop you from chasing your dreams and getting a job you love, two even. I can say without a doubt that I would not have been able to do that at your age. Jealousy probably isn't even the right word, so I'll switch it out. I seriously admire your strength and think you should be proud, not only of your son, but of yourself for raising him to be the young man he is today."

Techno was definitely choked up. His coworkers had told him similar things in the past. And his dad and step-mom had bragged about their son and grandson before. But there was a different weight to it when the person saying it knew both sides of the story and the insecurities Techno held about the secrets he'd kept. Beau may not be Phil or Wilbur, but he was connected to this content business and could understand the fears every parent had as well. 

Wilbur and Phil joked about Phil being Wilbur’s dad and all, but Phil wouldn't understand the bone deep ingrained terror that came from being the person responsible for the health and well-being of a tiny human completely dependent on you to not fuck up and kill them on accident. Wilbur was fully grown when they all met. He had an immaturity that Phil helped him grow from but Wilbur was an adult and independent.

Phil wouldn't know the insomnia inducing thoughts about if you're making the right decision about how to raise your kid so they don't make the same mistakes in life you did. The soul crushing terror of wondering if you've doomed your child to failure when you get something wrong.

Techno had been close with his dad before Theseus was born, but the physical distance had put a barrier between them. The lack of an adjustment period from his needing to be treated like a teenager, versus as an adult and fellow parent, also put a strain between them. He hadn't had a deeply emotional conversation with his dad since moving to the UK. 

Techno took a shuddering breath and swallowed his tears before shaking his hands out and giving a strained smile that eased to being genuine when Beau returned it.

"C'mon. That's enough emotions for now. Why don't you show me that bike of yours and then I'll show you around the house once the boys leave and my wife gets back."

"That sounds great."

They headed back out the front door, Techno sighing at the sight of his son's haphazardly placed helmet that he cleaned up to put next to his own, and went out to the bike.

Ten minutes later the boys came tumbling out of the house. Theseus's bike suit was nowhere to be seen and the boy was instead wearing his classic t-shirt, a pair of swim-shorts, and some sandals. 

The two boys waved  at their dads as they took off down the street. Working together to carry Tubbo’s paddle board. Tubbo turned to look at Tommy and squinted. 

"What're you looking at?"

"Your face."

"Why?"

"Because it's weird to know that your face is also The Technoblade’s face, you two look really similar."

"He's my dad, of course I look like him." Tommy may have gotten Clementine's curls and white European coloration, but his facial structure was still very much his dad.

"I'm still not over that. How the hell did you manage to keep it a secret for so long?"

Tommy shrugged. "Dunno. It's been a secret that he was Technoblade since he started his channel when I was nine. His channel wasn't really big enough for it to be a huge issue until around the same time I started mine. None of my school friends even know dad's first name is Techno. Just calling him Mr. Simons.”

 “That’s even weirder. That his name isn’t literally Techno space Blade. It just doesn’t compute.”

Tommy cackled. “I actually made his YouTube name! Dad does fencing, which is like fancy rich people sword fighting, and has lots of swords and stuff around the house. He’s been teaching me the basics of how to fence since quarantine started when we both needed a break from the computer.”

“That’s so cool! Do you think I could go to your house sometimes and he’d teach me?”

Tommy shrugged. “Probably. He and your dad seemed to be getting along really well.”

Tubbo’s nose wrinkled. “Do you think they’re telling each other stories about us?”

Tommy frowned. “Probably. But that doesn’t matter! I want to see the beach! We haven’t been in years and that was in California. I’ve never been to a proper British beach. We went to Greece once when I was seven, I think? Don’t remember much but the picture’s look cool.”

Tubbo laughed. “I think that the fact you get to travel and see cool places like Greece and California is way cooler than seeing a British rocky beach, there’s hardly any sand here.”

“Nah. California isn’t anything special. Just really fucking hot and gross. Dad says it isn’t as bad in the winter but we only go in summer.”

“Do you think once Covid’s over, you will go to VidCon and TwitchCon in San Diego?”

Tommy shrugged again. “Maybe? Dad’s real paranoid about keeping our real identities a secret from our fans. It’s why he didn’t let me use a facecam till I hit 100K on YouTube.”

“That’s weird.”

“Not really. The internet's got lotsa wronguns and creeps. Dad’s been on YouTube for a long time and literally was alive before the internet was a thing. He remembers all the creepy stories and stuff that happened before the internet became something everyone used. He’s also worried about any of his haters going after me for mistakes he made when he was first starting out, like that stupid tweet from a few years ago that he's apologized for. There’s another big reason why but Dad said not to share that part till we meet Phil and Wil tomorrow.”

“Huh. Do you think he’s gonna try and get my dad to agree to all that kind of safety stuff that he has you do?”

“Nah. Dream already contacted your dad, so all that stuff’s been handled.”

Tubbo’s eyes went wide. “WAIT! Did Dream not know who your dad was when he called?”

Tommy cackled. “Yes! It was hilarious! He called Dad ‘Mr. Simons’ and everything. He didn’t recognize Dad’s voice either.”

Tubbo laughed as well. The beach entered their line of sight and the boys shared a grin before racing the rest of the way. Any serious talk abandoned for mindless beach fun.

Any other revelations and secrets could wait until tomorrow.

------

That night, after an amazing stream and really good food cooked by Tubbo’s mum, Tommy and his dad went to their hotel. When they woke up early the next morning it was clear to see that his dad was starting to freak out again. Dad had made friends with Tubbo’s parents yesterday and had been chatting with them right until they had to leave, not bothered in the slightest at being left with them for hours while Tommy and Tubbo hung out.

But now it was the big day. Tubbo and his family had been the warmup, for the both of them, but especially for his dad. Dad was fiddling with the sleeve buttons of his shirt trying to look presentable even though he still needed to make the drive to Brighton. Dad’s tiny adjustments to his shirt would be worthless once he put his bike suit on.

Tommy was already fully dressed and suited up and was sitting on the edge of his hotel bed. He was on his phone and spamming messages in the meetup group chat. He’d made Tubbo promise to keep everything about his dad (and the bike) a secret till they got there and could explain for themselves. 

Tommy wasn’t nervous like his dad was, who was going to rip the button off of his shirt if he kept messing with it like that, but Tommy was still nervous about meeting Phil and Wilbur. He wanted to be friends with them so badly. He knew that he was the odd one out in their little group, being the youngest by almost a decade. Add in that his literal dad was part of the OG trio Sleepy Boys Inc, and it created an even bigger gap between them. He and Wilbur got along really well now because of Dream SMP and Phil was so much fun to talk to when he got the chance. He knew things would be different after today, and all he could do was hope that it would be a good kind of different.

He put his phone in its special zipper pocket and stood up to push his dad away from the mirror.

“Stop nitpicking. It’s gonna be fine.”

Dad sighed. “I should be the one reassuring you, not the other way around.”

Tommy snorted. “Yeah right. You’re the one who cried when I started primary, not me!”

“Why you!” Dad tried to get a hand on Tommy’s hair and either ruffle it or playfully shake him around. Tommy ducked and laughed. 

“C’mon old man! Get your suit on and let’s go already!”

Dad paused and smiled at him in that sappy way that made Tommy feel all squirmy inside and made him blush. Gross, parental affection.

“Stop looking at me like that and get moving!”

Dad chuckled but did as told. His dad was way more efficient at putting on and taking off the complicated safety suits they wore for long rides. His dad secured the last snap and put on his gloves before sweeping the room one last time and picking up his helmet. Tommy grabbed his helmet and gloves and slung the backpack over his shoulders and waited by the door. They made their way to the checkout and then to the bike.

They were on the road to Brighton by seven, the plan being to meet up for breakfast at around 8:30. Tommy knew he was rambling the entire drive, but he couldn’t help it. He talked more when he was nervous, plus he knew that his chatter would help keep his dad distracted and not lost in his own head catastrophizing everything.

They entered Brighton city limits and pulled over so Tommy could message the group chat that they were almost there. He got a confirmation of the meetup point and showed the messages to Dad before they set off on the final few minutes before the reveal. His dad went completely silent till they were less than a minute away.

“Theseus,” Dad spoke over the helmet’s bluetooth, “If this doesn’t go well, I’ll head to the hotel and let you guys have your fun. Let me know where to pick you up from, or if you get done early or want to leave at any point, let me know and we’ll head home. If it’s an emergency we can leave the bike and get a train back yet tonight.”

“You said that last night. I’m nervous too, y’know. But it won’t go bad. They’re our friends. Tubbo knows and he took it really well!” Tommy squeezed his arms from where they were around his dad's waist. Trying to convey his reassurance and belief that everything would be alright.

Dad sighed. “I know he did. But it’s going to be different with Phil and Wilbur, you know that.”

Tommy whispered back, “I know,” right as they came to stop in the parking lot. Tommy picked his head up from its place at his dad’s back and spotted their waiting friends. It was Tubbo, Tubbo’s dad, Phil, Kristin, and Wilbur. Only Tubbo and his dad were paying real attention to the bike that had pulled in. Phil, Wilbur, and Kristin were all talking to each other, having glanced over at the sound of the bike but dismissing it right after. They were expecting a car with a rambunctious teenager afterall.

Tommy slid off the bike. Much slower than he had at Tubbo’s yesterday. He glanced back at his dad but he shook his head slightly and nodded to the group. Tommy tilted his head in question and his dad raised a finger. Alright. Dad wanted a minute to get a hold of himself before the introductions. Tommy could understand that, it also gave him full freedom for the plan he and Tubbo had come up with last night.

He turned to face the waiting group and pushed all the fake confidence into his steps that he could. Keeping his attention on Tubbo to stop himself from analyzing the other’s faces.

“Bitch boy! We meet again!” Tubbo grinned and followed the script they had planned.

“Theseus! If it isn’t my sworn enemy! I never thought I’d see you again after our duel at sea! I thought I’d finally be rid of your ugly face!”

Tommy scoffed and struck the same arms thrown wide pose he had yesterday. “As if I, the great and glorious Theseus, heir to the Blood Throne, could be defeated by the ocean! The seas hold no claim over me!”

Tubbo dropped into a mock fighting stance. “It seems I must finish the job myself! For if the ocean could not claim you, then surely my fist will end your scourge upon this earth!”

Tommy cackled. The sound echoing strangely from inside his helmet. “I’d like to see you try!” Tommy squared up as well and the two boys charged at each other. Phil and Wilbur shouted in surprise and tried to grab at Tubbo but they were two late. The boys met with war-cries and Tommy picked Tubbo up and spun him around before dropping him and then engaging in their very complicated best friend handshake.

They were both uncontrollably laughing by the time they finished, having to lean on each other. Shifting to look at the confused faces of the adults. Tubbo’s dad was the only one who looked like he might have the slightest idea what was going on.

“Tubbo?” Phil asked. “Who’s this?”

Tubbo straightened up and put a mock serious look on his face. Tommy straightened up and prepared for his dramatic reveal.

“May I present to you all, Theseus Olympus Simons, spawn and heir of the Blood Throne. Bane of the Antarctic Empire and hero of L’Manburg!”

Tommy quickly removed his helmet, tucking it under his arm, and bowed dramatically. Coming back up with his signature shit-eating grin. “Hello bitches! And Kristin, of course.”

The shock was as dramatic as he had hoped for. He prayed that the go-pro on his chest was able to clearly capture all of this because Tommy never wanted to forget this moment.

“Tommy!” Wilbur screeched.

Tommy cackled. “You know it!”

“Wha- how? The fuck just happened?!” Wilbur ran a hand through his hair, obviously very confused.

Tommy laughed and knocked his shoulder into Tubbo’s. “Tubs and I planned this last night at his house. I wanted to make an epic entrance. Probably can’t use it for the vlog because of my name and shit but I wanted it for the meme.” He gestured to the go-pro. He set his helmet down on the ground so he had his hands free.

“Wait. Your name? Is what Tubbo said your actual name?”

“Yep!” He chirped and jabbed a thumb over his shoulder to where Dad was still waiting at the bike. “Dad says I needed a name just as special and unique as I was, so he stuck me with Theseus Olympus. Tommy is a nickname from the first year of secondary, when a teacher misread Theseus as Thomas.”

Phil shook his head and grinned. “Can’t say I expected that. But it suits you.”

Tommy preened. “Thank you! I don’t mind Tommy, Dad is basically the only one who still calls me that.”

“Speaking of your dad, is he gonna come over here?” Kristin questioned.

Tommy chuckled nervously and rubbed at the back of his head. “Uh. Yeah. He will. He just wanted me to go first while he worked up the nerve.”

“What? Why would he need to do that?” Wilbur’s eyebrow’s furrowed, his gaze darting over to Dad.

“Cuz he’s really nervous about how you’ll react when you realize who he is. Tubbo and his dad figured it out yesterday but he’s been really anxious about you and Phil. And I guess Kristin too.”

“Why would that be an issue?” Phil’s eyes kept darting between Tommy and his Dad across the parking lot.

“It’s better to just show you and have him say it.” Tommy turned around and waved at his Dad who visibly squared his shoulders before walking over. Coming to a stop on Tommy’s left. His dad was four inches taller than Tommy on flat feet, and with his boots and helmet, was taller than Wilbur.

“Uh. Nice to meet ya, mate. I can promise that whatever this is about, it won’t be a big deal.”

Dad tensed, froze, and the flexed his hands before shaking his head. “You can’t promise that.” Dad took off his helmet and tried not to curl in on himself. 

“Hi Phil. Hi Wilbur.”

Chapter Text

No one spoke for a long moment. Tubbo’s dad looked like he wanted to say something but Tubbo shook his head so he hung back and stayed quiet. Tommy took his dad’s helmet from him and set it down next to his own helmet. Tommy moving poked a hole in the tension so, finally, Phil spoke.

“Techno?”

Dad nodded. “Yeah. That’s me.”

“Holy shit.” That was Wilbur. “Wha- man what the fuck is happening here?!”

Dad winced at the shout and looked like he was five seconds away from turning around and driving back to London so Tommy stepped forward in front of him. Not really as a barrier or because he thought his dad needed protection, but because he wanted to make sure he had everyone’s attention.

“Techno is my dad. We kept it a secret to keep me safe from the internet creeps and haters. We never meant for this to go on so long or for all of us to become friends like this. We’ve been planning to tell you for months in case we messed up somehow. But I got tired of waiting and wanted to tell you while we were in control of it. Everything Dad has done, everytime he lied or didn’t say anything was all to keep me safe.”

“Theseus, you don’t need to do this. It’s alright. I can just go to the hotel.”

Tommy rounded on his dad. “No way. You’ve been making yourself sick with anxiety since we planned this and have felt guilty for months about not telling them. I’m sixteen now, I can take responsibility for my part in this.”

“No Theseus. It was my choice. I’m the adult and your father. This is solely on me.” Dad looked up to look back at the others. “I’m sorry about this. Please, don’t take it out on Theseus. He’s a good kid despite my screw ups and really wants to be your friend.” Dad squeezed Tommy’s shoulder before taking a step back. He looked up and made eye contact with Tubbo’s dad. “Beau, can you keep an eye on him for me? I’ll pick him up as soon as they're done.”

Techno went to turn around before Kristin spoke up. “Hold it!” Dad froze and looked at Kristin, fear and nerves very evident across his face.

“Techno. Stop. Don’t leave. Give us a second to process.” Techno nodded numbly and Tommy moved to lean against his dad’s side to offer whatever support he could. Dad kept his eyes focused on the ground so it was up to Tommy to watch the reactions. Tubbo moved to stand by his dad, looking nervous, eyes darting between Techno and the other adults.

Phil’s eyebrows were pinched but he didn’t look angry. Just very confused and slightly hurt. Wilbur had his hand over his mouth and his eyes kept flicking between Tommy and his dad. Kristin looked the most put together, only vaguely concerned while waiting for her husband's reaction.

Phil shook himself out and looked towards the father and son duo. Tommy nudged his dad so he would look up from the pavement. “Techno,” Dad winced at his name, “I won’t say I’m not a bit hurt about you lying, but I think I understand why you did it. You obviously love Tommy a lot.”

Tommy watched as Tubbo’s dad nodded with Phil’s statement, appeased that Phil wasn’t going to react harshly.

“Theseus is my everything.” Dad’s voice was hoarse, like he was fighting back tears. “His safety was my number one priority. But I truly, never meant for it to go this far.”

Phil gave a sad smile. “I can understand that.”

Silence held till Wilbur spoke up finally. “What all exactly have you lied about?”

Dad winced again and Tommy bristled, glaring at Wilbur but was cut off from speaking by his dad’s hand on his shoulder. “No Theseus. It’s a valid question.”

Dad looked at Wilbur directly as he spoke. “Theseus and I have lived in London since he was four. I work at the British Museum as a co-head of the ancient civilizations department as a text analyst and translator. I’ve been raising Theseus on my own since he was born. His mother isn’t dead, just still in America and not part of our daily lives. I have five degrees in the study of the languages Greek, Spanish, Latin, French, and German. I have a doctorate in ancient language studies and am well known in my field.”

“I started YouTube in 2013 with the name Technoblade. Theseus came up with the name. Theseus only ever featured in one of my videos before SMPEarth. On his tenth birthday I made a video of him playing SkyWars with me. I lied in the video and called him my little brother. I helped Theseus create his channels in 2018 and have helped him edit and moderate his chat since the beginning.”

“When SMPEarth began we had a list of rules that we were supposed to follow. Theseus broke those rules on day 2 and I was wary but I allowed it to continue until it spiraled and we all became friends. I lied about why I couldn't go to Phil and Kristin's wedding. Then, when lock-down began and the team request forms for MCC 4 came out, we both agreed to remove some of the rules we had been following to protect out identities. We planned to come clean and tell the truth to anyone we deemed trustworthy if they found out accidently. We thought that Phil and Wilbur would realize something was different during our team practices, but they didn’t. After that, once Earth ended there was less reason for us to interact and we never slipped up besides when all three of us were consoling Theseus after MCC 5. That day I lied about having something else to do to get out of hanging out afterwards so I could go check on Theseus.” 

“Theseus’s channels started growing even faster after that and we were both caught up in the Potato war mess till the end of June. Then the Dream SMP started and I realized that you all cared about him like I did. When Theseus brought up this meetup, he was right that I’ve been sick to my stomach with anxiety about telling you all. The guilt is practically eating me alive. But that’s not an excuse. Just my explanation.”

Tommy hugged his dad, not pulling away till his dad pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Tommy whispered, “Love you,” and Dad squeezed his shoulders before dropping his arms. Dad squared his shoulders and looked back up at Wilbur.

“I am sorry about the lies and deceit. But I did it because my son is my number one concern and he will stay as my top priority forever. I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore Wilbur. Just please don’t take it out on Theseus.”

Dad held his breath waiting for Wilbur's reaction. It came after Wilbur let out a deep sigh and ran his hand through his hair again.

“Fuck, man. I don’t even know what to say. I’m hurt yeah, but I get why you did it. Like Phil said. My dad was shit so I can’t say I understand what you felt and all that fuckery." Wilbur paced a few steps back and forth before turning to look at Techno and Tommy again. "I have so many questions but I don’t even know what I would do if I had the answers.” Wilbur laughed in a manner that made it clear he was still in disbelief and processing. 

Dad let Wilbur process for a few more seconds before he relaxed slightly. Wilbur didn't seem to be getting angry, just still very confused still and trying to put the puzzle together. Dad shifted slightly and then asked, “What questions do you have? I promise no more lies, there might be some things I won’t tell you with Theseus and Tubbo around, but I’m serious about coming clean of it all.”

Wilbur dropped his hands from his hair and wrapped himself in a loose hug before answering. “Fuck. I don’t know. I guess how old are you? Because I thought you were my age, but that’s obviously not true since Tommy’s 16. That means you're older than Phil.”

Techno winced and Tommy shied back a bit. Knowing that his dad had been hoping to avoid that question for as long as possible. Tommy doubted that Phil, Wilbur, and Kristin were the type of people to judge like that, but he also knows that his Dad had gotten a lot of negative reactions over the years. To the point that Tommy had never met his dad’s bio-mom.

“I'm actually not older than Phil." Phil, Wilbur, and Kristin froze. Dad swallowed harshly before speaking again. "I turned 32 in June.”

The adults and Tubbo’s mouths all dropped open, except Tubbo’s dad of course who already knew. Dad ducked his head and Tommy leaned back against his chest slightly. Using his body weight to make sure his dad stayed grounded.

“But Tommy’s 16." Tubbo spoke. His face clearly showed that he was trying to do the math but didn’t like the answer he got. That he understood the implication, but didn't believe he was right and wanted someone to tell him what he got wrong.

Dad started to shake slightly, his hands trembling with anxiety. Tommy reached back and squeezed his dad's hand, stopping them from shaking and giving his dad something to squeeze to direct the nervous energy. Tommy knew that his dad, while not ashamed of Tommy, did not like telling people that he was a teen parent. The nasty judgmental looks that complete strangers would shoot at them when they realized the truth had made Tommy share in his dad’s hesitation. It was most common at the airport. When security, flight attendants, and customs agents had to check their ID's and passports. As soon as Tommy would call Techno "Dad" there would always be a brief flash across their faces. The nice ones wouldn't say anything, but he could always hear how their voices changed and the mean ones would barely conceal how they felt about Dad being so young.

Dad squeezed Tommy's hand tightly before letting go to answer Tubbo. "Theseus was born when I was 15, two months before I turned 16. I am a teen parent Tubbo."

Tubbo's face dropped in shock. The other teen had no words. Neither did the other adults. Tubbo's dad was staying quiet and had his attention focused on the other adults and his son. Dad's anxiety shakes were ramping up and Tommy was about to start biting heads off if someone didn't say anything soon.

Before Tommy, or Tubbo's dad, had to intervene, Wilbur swore the air blue while nearly pulling his hair out. Pacing out a few tight circles before he stopped and looked at Dad. “I’m so sorry man. That, fucking shit, that changes so much.”

Dad and Tommy froze. Dad's anxious shaking stilled at his disbelief. That was obviously not the response that he had been anticipating in the dark corners of his anxious brain. Tommy nudged his dad, knocking his out of his frozen state.

Dad shook his head. “It doesn't change anything. I made the decision to keep Theseus a secret from the internet when I was 25. I was 31 when we met in Minecraft Monday.”

“Bullshit.” Dad startled and looked at Phil.

“What?” There was a disbelieving hope in Dad's voice now that Phil finally said something.

“I said bullshit. Of course it changes shit Techno. I already know from your reactions that you’ve gotten shit for being a teen dad in the past. Obviously you continued that caution with the rest of the world going forward. You were right to do so. There’s no telling what the internet would do if they found out. But there would be at least a few who would go after you and Tommy and be threats to your safety. I’ve seen the shit that pops up in the chats and comment sections.” Phil paused before he could continue his first tangent. He suddenly blurted out, "Fuck you're my age!" Apparently Phil hadn't made the connection that he was also 32.

Dad swallowed again. “Exactly three months younger.”

Phil’s eyes were wide as plates as he took a step forward. “Fucking shit mate. I’m going to come hug you now, that is if Tommy will let me.” 

Tommy grinned and stepped to the side so Phil could wrap his arms around Dad. Dad's breath hitched and Tommy knew that the adrenaline from the anxiety was finally crashing and letting Dad cry. It was funny to look at, Dad was six inches taller than Phil, but he was slumped against Phil's shoulder as a few silent hiccup sobs finally had an outlet.

Phil squeezed tight before letting go and stepping back. Instead raising a hand to jab a finger into Dad’s chest. Dad was sniffling but he was also smiling. The relief very clear on his face.

Phil smiled up at Dad with a sharp grin that promised Phil would back his words with action. “You’re my brother now, got that. I call Uncle dibs on Tommy. Wilbur can be his cousin and your nephew. Kristin,” Phil called over his shoulder, “Come meet your brother-in-law!”

Kristin laughed but did as beckoned and came over, placing a hand on Dad’s arm and smiling up at him. “Wish you could have been at the wedding, but better late than never." She stood up on her tip-toes to press a kiss to Dad's cheek. "Welcome to the family.”

Dad started crying full-send. Loud sobs and shaking shoulders, but there was still a smile on his face. Tommy was thinking about intervening, but he was stopped by Wilbur’s hand on his shoulder. He hadn’t noticed him getting closer. He looked up at Wil who shook his head. “Let the real grown ups handle this for a bit. Come on cousin,” Wilbur’s grin was full of teasing mirth, “I want to know more about that bike you two came in on.” Tommy beamed and perked up. Waving over at Tubbo who shuffled closer. Tubbo looked a bit off-center after being an observer to all the feelings.

When Wil saw Tubbo and Beau, he got a maniacal look on his face made Tommy consider taking a step back. Tubbo cautiously approached once he saw Wil's face. Wilbur reached out and slung an arm around Tubbo’s shoulders and smiled down at him. “Don’t think you’re getting out of this either mister.” Wilbur looked up and shouted, “Hey Dad Squad and Mom!” 

The adults all looked up. Tubbo’s dad had stepped into the emotions circle when his son went over to Tommy.

“Tell Uncle Beau that he and Tubbo have been adopted too. The cousins and I are getting bored, so either we go check out Uncle Techno’s bike or it’s time for breakfast.” Wilbur's face was the definition of a shit eating grin.

Phil burst out laughing. “Wil you little shit.”

Wil just beamed back, his smile morphing into a picture of pure innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, father dearest. I’m simply reuniting with my long lost family members. Do you think Uncle Techno and Uncle Beau will have birthday presents for me that they never sent?”

Everyone was laughing now and the heaviness floated away with the sound. Everyone was smiling and Wil broke away from the two teens to go hug Techno. “I still have a million questions but we’ve been standing in this parking lot for forever now and I’m getting hungry.”

Techno laughed. “I can accept that.”

“Yes!” Wilbur fist pumped and spun around to face Tommy and Tubbo, “Come on boys! We’ve got mayhem to scheme!”

Tommy and Tubbo cheered and ran after Wilbur into the café, leaving the “real” adults outside.

“I have a feeling that I’ve just been inducted into a cult.” Beau had an eyebrow raised and stared after the “cousins”. 

Phil laughed. “Welcome to the world of content creators. You were already a part of it because of Tubbo, now it’s just more official.”

“Alright. Enough chit-chat Dad Squad." Kristin smirking as she repeated the nickname Wil had created, "I don't trust those boys without supervision for a single moment.” Kristin was jokingly stern and she gently pushed Phil towards the café door.

Techno snorted. “I put all the blame for any explosions or fire on Wilbur.”

“Oi!” Phil laughed, “That’s my son you’re talking about. What about Tubbo huh? He may be the quiet one but those are the ones you have to keep an eye on.”

Beau laughed. “Please. I love that boy, and he can get into all kinds of thing, but with Tommy around to put ideas into his head? Those two will find a way to destroy the whole building and get out without a scratch.”

Kristin just smiled. “I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship between us all.”

The Dad Squad all nodded and shared grins as they filed into the café. Only to immediately be greeted with the sight of their respective chaos children sitting in a booth throwing napkins at each other.

Almost in unison the three members of the Dad Squad pinched the bridges of their noses. Kristin whipped out her phone and took a picture while laughing at the obvious misery on the men's faces.

That picture would eventually become the banner for the “Dad Squad Podcast.” Where the three brothers, adopted but who cares about that, would commiserate over the challenges of raising content creators. With Techno and Phil expanding on how their involvement in content creation changed their approach compared to Beau who had no idea what his son, and eventually his daughter, had been getting into. The podcast would start after Techno and Tommy revealed their relationship when the boy turned 17, but keeping Techno's age a secret for a while longer yet.

The podcast will be extremely popular among the various fanbases they were a part of, but they also reached out to the wider world as more and more parents found themselves with children who wanted to be the next big name in video games. They also gave just general good parenting advice. Techno, once he came forward as having been a teen parent after Tommy turned 18, told his story and how he managed it all. Beau gave tips on how to manage multiple children and how to balance each child’s needs. Phil gave his perspective as a father figure to an already grown young adult and the other teens he met through content creation. Giving his advice on how to be a parent someone mostly grown, but who still needed guidance in life, without overstepping the teen or young adult's autonomy. 

There will also be a channel created in the future. Called “Craft Family Crazy.” The channel will mainly feature out of context clips of the things that happen in various the Watson-Soot-Simons-Smith households. The most popular video will be one titled, “The Things You Never Knew" published after Techno and Tommy reveal they are father and son. The video contains the extra video clips from meetups, vlogs, and video recording that couldn’t be posted to the public before. A second edition of the video, "Secrets 2: Electric Boogaloo" will premier on Tommy's 18th birthday and contain a explanation of techno's age and would then be followed by any additional footage about Techno being a teen parent.

The summer after Tommy's 18th birthday would see the creation of the "Craft Family Streamer House". The former Simon's house becoming the den of teenage insanity for Tubbo, Tommy, and Ranboo to move into. Techno would last a month as the only "adulty adult" in the Streamer House and would then convince Phil and Kristin to move to Brighton and they would buy a house together near where Wil lived. 

(Phil and Techno would jokingly "share custody" of Ranboo once they met the teen through DreamSMP. The American boy staying primarily with Tubbo while he visited, but also spending a few week with Tommy and Techno in London. Phil would "adopt" Ranboo into the Craft Family once he moved to the UK permanently.)

The Craft Family will stick together no matter what the world throws at them. Loving each other and being the best family someone could ask for.

The End.

For now.