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“Ow." There’s a faint knock against his window.
Regulus doesn’t need anymore encouragement to drop everything he is doing and rush to the window, letting James in.
“Jesus, you’re going to ruin my floor,” Regulus curses, watching the blood drip from James’s spandex suit like he’s been in a bloody downpour.
“I’d rather ruin you,” James quips, but it’s somewhat feeble. A pale attempt at humour.
“Don’t even joke, you’re— a mess.”
“He didn’t want to die.” James shrugs. “I wanted to live more.”
“Got reasons to stay alive, have you?” Regulus mutters as he helps James settle on the floor and rushes to the ensuite bathroom. He starts gathering the supplies he’ll need. Sadly, this is almost routine at this point, and Regulus has the equivalent of a small hospital in his bathroom drawers. He hears a loud groan and hurries, coming back to the sight of James trying to remove his suit and failing, arms locked in the fabric.
“Stop, let me help,” Regulus says, putting the supplies down.
James groans again and Regulus helps him out of it, carefully. “Stop making noise, you’ll wake Sirius.”
“Yeah well, Sirius is gentler than you are.”
Regulus mutters a curt "Whatever," but his gestures become more gentle as he speaks. “When am I going to stop getting you back in pieces?”
“Hopefully from now on? Believe it or not, I don’t love this. Pain is not a kink I have,” James explains, and Regulus scoffs in response.
James narrows his eyes. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Well, now I want to hear it even more.”
“No.” Regulus starts cleaning the blood, and James winces in pain.
“Please distract me. This whole open wound thing is killing my buzz.”
“Big baby,” Regulus mutters fondly, and James smiles.
“I’m your baby?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“I’ve got selective hearing, and I definitely heard you call me baby.”
“Happy are the fools,” Regulus replies, and James squints at him again, trying to decipher the insult.
“That wasn’t very nice, was it?”
Regulus shakes his head. “No, not really.”
“You’re mean.”
“I know that. And you know that, too.”
James sighs fondly. “I know,” he says. Regulus shakes his head, smile peeking through, and refocuses on the wounds on James’s chest.
“Wow, a smile. I feel blessed.”
“Shut up.”
“I won’t, I— Ow. Ow.” He tries to back up, but he’s already against the wall. “What are you doing?”
“Cleaning the cuts.”
“But why so harsh?” James asks, scrunching his nose in that way that makes Regulus want to grab his face and kiss him. He would, if James wasn’t busy bleeding all over his bedroom floor.
“Because I don’t want you to die from an infection. Clearly you’re prone to them, what with the whole spider thing.”
“That was once," James mutters, feigning bitterness, and Regulus stops cleaning the cuts to look at him blankly, before none-too-gently putting the antiseptic solution on top of one of the cuts. James rolls his eyes while groaning, relenting. “I see your point.”
“My points are always good.”
“Everything you do is always good.”
Regulus gives him another blank stare. “Now I know you must be drunk.”
James hisses at a particular painful swipe. “I fucking wish— ow. Just— ow.” He lets his head drop against the wall. “I’m never coming back to you. You’re a shit healer.”
“Maybe this can be explained by the fact that I am not a healer?”
“But you do it so well?”
“You literally just— you know what, the pain is making you say stupid things, so I’m just going to ignore you.”
“Rude.”
Regulus ignores that, too, and sets to gathering the supplies back and making it all disappear in a trash bag, tying it off so the evidence of blood won’t alert — or alarm — anyone.
By the time he’s back in his bedroom, James is gingerly settling himself on Regulus’s bed.
“What are you— You can’t stay here,” he whisper-yells, and James gives him a little grin.
“Oh, and who’s going to throw me out? You?”
Regulus is blushing, though he can’t tell if it’s from anger or—
“My parents are here!”
“And the louder you get, the more likely they are to come a-knockin’. So why don’t you just—” he lifts the covers and slips in, opening it again to invite Regulus in, “Shut up and get in? I need a hug. I’ve been mauled by what I assume was a giant bear lizard. I am traumatised, and I want cuddles.”
“I despise you.”
“And we both know that that’s a lie.”
“It is not a lie. I just love you more than I despise you, so the scales even out in your favour.”
“Colour me touched.”
”I’d like you better if you were mean,” Regulus pouts, turning around in the bed, reaching out to turn off the light.
“You’re just full of lies today, aren’t you?” James asks.
“I really wish I knew what you meant.”
James tuts. “And I wish you hadn’t turned off the lights, I love this shade of red on you.”
Regulus pulls the covers on top of his face, and his voice comes out muffled. “Please stop talking.”
James does.
For a minute.
Then, “Why are you so far?” he asks, scooting closer and hissing every time the cuts catch under the sheet. No need to cover them, they’ll be healed by morning. Still.
“James, I swear to god, you—” he’s stopped in his momentum by the slow banging on the other side of the wall. Sirius’s voice comes out, somewhat muffled.
“Some people are trying to sleep. Please shut up and do the same?”
Regulus’s anguished groan can be heard from beneath the cover. It is the groan of the man who isn’t sure whether to keep on living or give up there and then.
“Sorry Pads, we’ll be quiet,” James throws back, and they can hear, partially muted, Sirius’s sulking, “My fucking baby brother, Jesus Christ”.
“Hasn’t gotten used to it, has he?” James asks, and it prompts Regulus to pull his head back out from underneath the covers.
“Can you blame him? I’m running interference in the greatest love affair the world has ever seen,” Regulus deadpans, and James laughs.
“Wouldn’t you say that Remus is also running interference, but on the opposite side?”
“I think it’s messed up that the love you have for each other is so strong, yet so platonic. It’s abnormal.”
“You’re abnormal.”
“Says the man who can shoot spider webs from his body. Sure. A high offence.”
James smiles. “Oh, you’re so moody tonight. What got into you?”
“Do you think,” Regulus says with his sarcastic voice, “That opening my window at one in the morning, to find my boyfriend bloodied and bruised could be reason enough?”
“Ah,” James ponders. “Didn’t think about it that way.”
“You never do.”
“Well, I can’t, really.”
“Why?” Regulus asks genuinely.
“Because if I thought about you every time I ran into danger, I’d never go anywhere. I’d be terrified of dying.”
“Aren’t you already?”
James thinks on it. “I’m a lot stronger than before. I’m not— I feel a little invincible, sometimes, if I’m honest.”
And isn’t that the scariest thing Regulus has ever heard? Without thinking, he reaches out, closing the distance between them and wrapping his arms oh-so-gently around James, who melts in the embrace. “I don’t want you to feel invincible,” Regulus murmurs against James’s temple, and the sigh that escapes James is a tie between bone-tired and eternally in peace. “What if you go overboard? What if you think you can take another hit but then don’t get back up?”
“I don’t think I have a choice, love.”
“But you do. Burn the suit. Let other people handle something, for once.” Don’t leave me alone, he doesn’t say. James hears it anyway.
“Hey, hey,” he says, reaching out in the dark, fumbling until his hands find Regulus’s forearms, and following the trail of soft skin down until he’s able to grasp at Regulus’s hands. “Hey.”
Regulus doesn’t say anything for a while. He squeezes James’s hands. “These are very deep cuts,” he eventually whispers in the dark.
“I know.”
“I don’t like this. I don’t want you to be hurt like this.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Regulus. I have this life, and it gave me Sirius. It gave me you. I’m not giving it up without a fight.”
“I don’t understand why you’d want to fight at all,” Regulus breathes.
“Because I was given this— this thing. And I can use it to do good things. Because I want to,” James explains softly, running his thumbs over Regulus’s hands.
“You’ve always been way too chivalrous,” Regulus relents.
“Well, let’s hear it, then.”
“Hear what?”
“What would you do, if a radioactive spider bit you?”
“With my constitution? I’d probably die on the spot.”
That tears a genuine laugh from James that sounds like a loud bark, and Regulus has to free one hand to pull it over his mouth. “I can’t take you anywhere.”
James is still chuckling by the time Regulus takes his hand off his mouth.
“I mean, technically, I take you everywhere, and I never hear you complaining about my spider web shooting skills, then,” James points out.
“Beats the subway.”
“You truly know how to make a man feel special,” James deadpans.
“It’s a skill.”
James nudges him, and Regulus relents. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it."
“Well, walk me through your thought process.”
“You mean, after I realise a poisonous spider has bitten my very sensitive skin and infected my body forever.”
“Sure.”
“I— I don’t know. I would— go to Sirius, probably. Panic a lot. Try to see the extent of the dise— the gift?” He continues sheepishly, and James squeezes his hand once.
“Mm, you can say disease. I don’t really know what else it can be qualified as, to be honest.”
“Right. So, try it out. And then I—”
He can practically feel James waiting patiently for him to come to a conclusion. A very obvious one.
“I would—” he starts again. Stops.
“It’s a change, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“Feels a little silly to say you would use it to steal juice boxes, no?”
“Yeah."
“Now, say you just discovered all of this about yourself, and then you find yourself in a dangerous situation where you can— that you know you are better equipped to handle, than anyone else is. What would you do?”
“If—”
“Remember that you are basically invincible. It would take a lot for you to die, and these are just— people with guns.”
Regulus remains silent.
James doesn’t really need to push his point further.
“It wasn't people with guns who carved your chest like this.” Regulus says eventually.
“No, you’re right. Had it been anyone else, they would have bled out and died already.”
“Better you, then?” Regulus asks bitterly. It’s rhetorical, but James nods anyway.
“Better me.”
Regulus buries closer to James.
“I wish things were different,” he mumbles against James’s neck. It’s warm. Soft. He feels James’s hand tangle in his hair, massaging his scalp. The sound he lets out isn’t entirely human.
“I don’t,” James whispers, and Regulus makes a non committal, yet encouraging noise, so James takes it as an invite to continue. “If things were different, I wouldn’t have accidentally knocked on your window instead of your brother, delirious with pain. You wouldn’t have known about me. We wouldn’t be here.”
“I was talking about the spider bite, but never mind.”
James rearranges his answer. “No, I can work with this. If I hadn’t been bitten, then. Well, obviously I would still be friends with your brother—”
“Obviously,” Regulus cuts in dryly, and James shushes him.
“I’m planning this elaborate alternate universe where I remain boring, be quiet. Oh, actually, we probably would have met at some point. Just under… more normal circumstances.”
“More normal than opening my window to my brother’s best friend in a fancy spandex suit, profusely bleeding from several gunshot wounds? My, do tell.”
“Your sarcasm is noticed and ignored. So, you’re a year behind, which means I would never, in my life, pay attention to you— don’t make that noise, you know it’s true. No one ever dates down a grade. Can you imagine?” James shivers, and Regulus pinches his forearm.
“You’re literally dating down, right now.”
“I’d say I’m dating up. Have you seen yourself? Also, we’re not in a normal situation. Stop interrupting me.”
Regulus grumbles but lets James take the floor once more.
“Right, so, I don’t notice you in high school, obviously.”
“ Obviously.”
“Tsk. But then we start uni—”
“Oh yes. Uni, the land where everything suddenly changes,” Regulus deadpans.
“Stop interrupting me or I swear to god—”
“No, please go on. I’m invested now.”
“Brat,” James says, but continues anyway. “Right, so we go to uni, and obviously you come to visit your brother, and Sirius is all like, ‘let’s go out’, and you don’t want to, but you go anyway because it’s Sirius, and you can’t say no to him.”
“I sound like a pushover.”
“Shh, I’m getting to the best part. So, Sirius takes you to that bar that we like, and I’m there—”
“Shock, horror.”
“—And I notice you.”
“No?” Regulus mocks. “What makes you turn? Is it my ethereal beauty or my delightful personality?”
“Neither obviously, because you’re an entitled brat who—”
“Stellar love story, so far, by the way,” Regulus interrupts.
“—Enjoys being mean on purpose. But you bully me—”
“Oh yes, the Stockholm syndrome trope, love that for us,” Regulus quips again, and James has to reach his hand over to cover Regulus’s mouth so that he’ll stop interrupting.
“—And I fallinlovewithyoutheendbye .” James removes his hand from Regulus’s. “Whoa. I feel exhausted. This story took a lot out of me.”
“How did you end up burdened with the task of keeping a city safe, I’ll never understand. This was—”
“Amazing? Life changing? Revolutionary?—”
“The stupidest tale I’ve ever heard.”
“Hm? Well, good, because it’s not what happened, and we are here now, and I am oh so comfortable in your arms.”
“I can’t sleep like this.”
“You always say this, yet you’re always the one wrapped around me like an octopus when we wake up.”
“I’m not responsible for the decisions my body makes when I’m out of it.”
“Funny way to describe sleeping.”
“Can you—”
They’re interrupted, once more, by banging on the wall and Sirius’s voice. “For the love of god, will you both stop talking and go. The fuck. To sleep?”
James bursts out laughing. Regulus wants to die.
“We really should go to sleep. You need to heal, and I have school.”
“Right. ‘Night.”
“’Night. Hey, James?”
“Hm?”
“I’m glad you knocked on my window by accident.”
“Yeah, love. Me, too.”
🕷
Contrary to popular belief, James is actually quite smart. But playing dumb has suited his plans thus far, and he has no interest in changing that.
Dumb James means inconspicuous James.
All the better for him, as James has no interest in bringing any kind of attention to himself. He attracts enough attention as it is, when he’s wearing his fancy suit.
To be honest, James could have done without it all. He wasn’t joking when he told Regulus that he feels responsible for intervening in situations where he feels better equipped than other people.
What he didn’t tell Regulus, is that he feels a little robbed of his youth.
There are solutions to this predicament.
One that James has found is to find joy in the small things.
So yes, James does put himself in dangerous situations, and James gets hurt, and James doesn’t love that.
But James can also shoot spider webs from his body and stand upside down and fly around. And this, he makes full use of. Would be stupid not to.
They have contests.
Sirius will take Remus on his bike, and James will have Regulus, and they’ll give each other a destination to have dinner together. Usually far enough from the city, where the odds aren’t stacked against either of them. Less buildings for James to hang off of, less traffic for Sirius to get stuck in.
First ones to arrive get treated to dinner.
The most surprising part is how comfortable Regulus is with being carried around like a dead weight all over New York. The most exhilarating part is when he lets out these whoops of joy, these insults directed at nobody, these, Look up, suckers! as they swing through crowded streets. James lets him. One of them should get to experience the fun without the burden. To James, nothing beats putting Regulus down, only to witness his red cheeks and his red ears and his red nose, his uncontrollable smile and his wild curls all over the place. That’s James’s favourite part.
James also likes to scare Regulus. He hates it, of course, which makes it all the more fun. James will hide up above somewhere, when he knows Regulus is about to pass by, and he’ll just— drop down, right in front of him.
Admittedly, the first time he did that didn’t work out so well for James. Regulus had screamed, and promptly punched him in the face. James was, honestly, kind of proud. It was a good punch.
The second time, James had still been able to surprise Regulus. He had screamed, clutched at his chest, and grabbed onto James’s face by his ears, shaking him. Had James still needed glasses, they would have fallen to the floor.
“Would you stop doing that,” Regulus had whisper-yelled, pulling their foreheads together, letting his breathing regulate.
James hadn’t minded so much.
The third time, well. James should have known better, frankly. Regulus is smart. He wasn’t going to be fooled. James had dropped and Regulus had just given him a blank stare, one that said, I’m very fond of you but you are an idiot, grabbed onto his ears once again— quite gently,this time— and pulled him in for an upside down kiss.
“Morning,” he’d said before continuing on his way, unbothered.
It’s become a little ritual now. James kind of likes upside down kisses. They feel very special. Like they’re the only one able to do it. It’s their thing .
Sometimes, the short press of lips will— derail, and it’ll become very inconvenient to be upside down, because James won’t be able to press his body up against Regulus like he wants to, and James will have no one to blame but himself. So you can’t really hold it against James, when he finds out that the way to remedy this— oversight, is to just grab Regulus and turn him upside down, too. Being sticky on demand truly is one of James’s favourite things. Nothing beats watching the blood rush to Regulus’s head, both from the head rush and the kiss.
They do that a lot.
Not the upside down thing. Well, that too.
But the kissing.
James thinks he might be a little addicted to Regulus. It would be embarrassing, if Regulus didn’t give as good as he got.
It’s a good life.
🕷
James is, to no one’s surprise, a very good boyfriend. He leaves sticky notes everywhere. On Regulus’s door, between the pages of his notebooks, in Regulus’s pockets. They’re not post-it notes. Well, they don’t have to be. James can make anything stick to anything. Bear witness to his incredible powers.
Regulus finds it incredibly embarrassing, which just prompts James to do it more.
Sirius finds it incredibly ridiculous, until James points out that he and Remus are literally calling each other baby on a daily basis, and that if there is anything to be embarrassed about, it’s that.
The truth is, there is nothing embarrassing about being in love and showering that person with affection, so James keeps doing it. He’s very aware that he could die. He doesn’t want to. But it’s— well, it’s a strange career that James is embarking on. So James just embraces all the little things that make him happy. He leaves the sticky notes for Regulus to find, and he races Sirius, and they go to the movies, and James will fuck around with people’s popcorn, stealing clumps in the dark and spending entirely too long trying to remove the popcorn from the web — not worth it, wouldn’t try again. Yeah, it’s a good life.
And then, there are times when the good will turn twisted, and James tries to forget that there are people who would be very upset if he did die, and he’ll go and he’ll fight and he’ll get hurt, and he’s been lucky. There is always someone for him to come back home to. His mother, his best friend, his boyfriend, even Remus, once, when James just didn’t have the strength to head west to Sirius and Regulus’s house. James is oh so loved, and that makes the fear worth it. He would die to protect them. His family.
🕷
For his birthday, Regulus gets an oddly shaped gift from James. So odd, in fact, that despite the very obvious answer as to what it is, Regulus takes entirely too long to figure out. In fact, he does not figure it out at all until after he has unwrapped the gift, and is staring at James’s glasses with a gobsmacked expression.
“They’re—” James starts.
“I know what they are, James,” Regulus cuts in stiffly, and James lifts his hand in surrender.
“You’re just— taking an awfully long time to react.”
Sirius nudges James. “This is how Reggie reacts when he’s overwhelmed. He shuts down, like his program needs to restart.”
“Sirius, shut up,” Regulus says, quiet but firm, still looking down at James’s old pair of glasses.
James is not good with the quiet. “I just thought— because you’re always complaining about how my vision just fixed itself— and you miss— so I thought I would— I don’t know. It was a dumb idea,” he finishes lamely.
“You’re spiralling, brother,” Sirius claps a hand on James’s shoulder, and James just— looks at Regulus. Who is still… eerily quiet. Looking at James’s glasses.
Eventually, he lifts his head to look at James.
“You kept them?” He croaks.
Sirius makes a strange noise in the back of his throat, and Remus, kind spirit that he is, drags him away to the kitchen, giving them some privacy.
“I didn’t want to throw them away,” James says.
“Why not?” Regulus asks carefully.
James shrugs. “You like them? And… they’re a good reminder of my life before? Before I got bit by a radioactive spider and started climbing through your window like a creep at one in the morning, bleeding from everywhere, I mean.”
“Yes, I got that,” Regulus says dryly. “We—” He stops himself. He looks at James, and back at the glasses. “Do you have your suit under your clothes?”
James nods, uncertain, and then Regulus is dragging him through the living room and into his bedroom.
“We’ll be back soon!” He calls out to his brother and Remus before shutting the door rather noisily. “Come on,” he encourages, dragging James by the sleeve.
James fails to say that Regulus doesn’t need to drag him anywhere. He’d go willingly.
Regulus plots him down in front of the large mirror in his bedroom. They generally don’t use it for wholesome purposes, which confuses James further. He isn’t getting a sexy vibe from Regulus. James is just— confused.
“Take off your shirt, keep the suit,” Regulus orders, and James turns around in the chair, watching as Regulus goes foraging in his bedsheets, emerging back out with his phone. Waving it triumphantly, Regulus skips back to James.
The sudden enthusiasm also takes James by surprise. He’s having whiplash. Still, he does as requested.
Regulus plops his chin on James’s left shoulder and looks at him through the mirror.
“Well?” He prompts.
“Well what?”
“Put them on.” Regulus urges, and James— maybe James is the slow one.
Maybe they’re both slow. Maybe they’re two peas in a pod. Maybe they’re doing just fine.
James puts the glasses on.
He can’t see shit with them, but he smiles at the blurry shape of Regulus in the mirror. Regulus fiddles with the phone, pulling it up, and James turns his gaze slightly to observe Regulus.
“Whatcha doing, love?”
Regulus takes a picture.
“Making memories.”
“Afraid you’ll forget who I used to be?”
Regulus shakes his head. “No. Afraid you will. I just want you to remember that you can still be both.” Gently, Regulus reaches out to remove James’s glasses from his face.
“Can I?” James asks, and it’s probably a topic that’s a little heavy for a birthday, but Regulus doesn’t seem to mind.
“Yeah.” He shifts his chin to hook it more firmly on James’s shoulder. “You were my superhero with glasses before you became everyone else’s in the suit.”
“So you’re saying I’ve always been your superhero?”
Regulus tuts. “I’m saying you’ve always been special.” Regulus puts on the glasses and grimaces. “Wow, your vision truly was terrible,” he says, blinking at the blurry reflection of them both in the mirror.
“Mhm. You’re getting side-tracked. Please, keep telling me how special I am.”
“A very special snowflake,” Regulus deadpans, removing the glasses and twisting to kiss James’s cheek.
“You know, I might give you more of my old things, if this is the mood it puts you in.”
“You don’t like my usual mood?”
“I like your every mood. You’re just… awfully cheery right now.”
Regulus shrugs. “I’m happy.”
James turns to kiss Regulus’s nose. “It suits you. Come on. There’s cake, and I burn a million calories a day now. I need this cake more than I need my next breath.”
“Dramatic much?”
“It’s cake.”
James knows that Regulus doesn’t care much about cake — a travesty, really —, but Regulus dutifully nods, folding the glasses and placing them on the shelf next to a photo of the two of them. He extends his hand, and Regulus takes it.
🕷
James takes a lot of photos. It’s a hobby he’s had for years, and his little abnormal abilities allow him to get some very cool shots. Most of these, he wouldn’t be able to sell anyway, they’re so very obviously taken from a point of view that cannot be attained by, well, most people. Not that he isn’t people, because he is. But he’s not— normal.
So he has these photographs blown out, and he gives them to Sirius, Remus and Regulus. Someone should get to enjoy them, right?
He takes Regulus on these adventures sometimes. Early morning, when the sun isn’t up yet and Regulus doesn’t have to get ready for school. He’ll wake Regulus up, and it’ll be a battle of wits to get him out of bed — Regulus is a very sleepy creature — but then they’ll be out in the frigid New York morning air, and Regulus’s sleepy face will turn into one of wonder, and James thinks this thing he has might not always feel like a disease. Sometimes, it feels a little like a gift.
They have a few favourite spots where they like to drink tea together. Regulus got James this shock resistant thermos, and James has it with him all the time. Tea is an essential part of James’s life, and he’s working to convince Regulus to join his side and leave coffee behind. (It’s working.)
Regulus likes to be up high, and James likes to indulge him.
“Feels like I can fly,” Regulus told him once, and James just agreed. His heart soared, too.
It’s interesting to James, because while Regulus’s favourite thing to do is be swung around New York, the potential of death really quite close by, Sirius’s favourite thing is to play with the web-like substance that comes out of James’s body at will. Sirius made James make him a hammock out of the stuff. It’s hanging in his room, covered in this fancy blanket Sirius found. It looks almost normal, if not for the fact that it’s not hooked, but glued to the walls. Sirius says it’s springy, which makes it more comfortable.
James is just happy to make Sirius whatever he wants.
They have plans.
Once they’re done with school, they’ll go to uni, and get a house together. They’ll keep each other safe.
They’ll turn the house into a very functional den, so that, should James ever need specific help, they’ll be able to give it to him.
James is looking forward to it, but he’s not too impatient.
This, too, is good.
He’s happy.