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Language:
English
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Published:
2023-03-23
Words:
2,142
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
2
Kudos:
20
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1
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247

Boredom is a Sickness

Summary:

Joker is sick of being bored, but he just can't seem to come up with something new to do this time around. Every scheme had been done before. He ends up having a painfully normal night out...if we ignore the murder.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Joker often wondered how some people could allow themselves to sit in their boredom. Perhaps they lacked the imagination to envision a world beyond their mundane existence. Maybe they were simply too afraid to take risks and pursue their wildest dreams. Whatever the reason, Joker could never fathom the idea of wasting precious time doing nothing. To him, life was a constant adventure, filled with endless opportunities to entertain oneself.

Joker sat in his cell, staring at the guard stationed outside. He had been eyeing the man for some time now, waiting for the perfect opportunity to make his move.

“Hey there, buddy,” Joker said, flashing a wide grin, approaching the glass wall separating them. “How’s the wife and kids?”

The guard didn’t respond. He just stayed facing the wall, not even daring to glance in Joker’s direction.

“Aw, come on. Don’t be shy,” Joker continued. “I’m sure they miss you terribly. Or maybe they don’t. Maybe they’re better off without you.”

The guard still didn’t answer, but Joker could tell he was getting under his skin.

“You know, I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a guard here,” Joker mused. “All that power, all that authority. It must feel pretty damn good, right? You can do whatever you want and get away with it….”

The guard’s face remained impassive, but Joker could see a flicker of annoyance in his eyes.

“Or maybe it’s not as great as it seems,” Joker said, leaning forward against the glass. “Maybe you are just a glorified babysitter, stuck in this miserable place day after day. Nothing to look forward to except the same old routine, keeping an eye on crazies like me...”

The guard shifted his weight; his hand tightened into a fist.

“Ooh, I think I’ve finally hit a nerve,” Joker chuckled. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you’re secretly miserable. Your secret’s safe with me, buddy.”

The guard didn’t reply, but Joker could see his jaw clenching. He knew he had succeeded in getting under the man’s skin, and that was all that mattered.

“Say, since we’re buddies now, maybe I should tell you one of my secrets, just to keep it fair.” Joker smiled. “Lean in… I’ll whisper it to you….”

The guard refused to react.

“Trust me, you want to hear this.” The Joker said, doing his best to tempt him.

The guard finally broke. Turning To face Joker. “What?”

“Lean in closer.” Joker urged him.

The guard sighed but complied, curious despite himself. He should have known better, but he couldn’t help but what to know.

Joker’s grin widened as he whispered his ‘secret’ through the wall, relishing in the power he held over the man. As he finished, he leaned back, still smiling.

The guard’s face had gone pale, and Joker’s smile grew even wider. He knew he had just planted a seed of doubt in the man’s mind, and it would only be a matter of time before it blossomed into a full-fledged breakdown. The thought filled Joker with glee.

As the guard stumbled away, clearly shaken, Joker threw himself back down on his bed, still chuckling to himself. Yes, life was never boring when he had himself around for entertainment.

Arkham hardly counted as a challenge for Joker. He always broke out with such ease. He almost regretted getting that guard to leave his post; this would be even easier than usual. He just wanted a night out of town. Joker had been wanting one for a while. He deserved it. He had been so good lately. No casualties in over a month deserved a reward.

Joker made his way to one of his many hideouts after freeing himself from Arkham without much fuss. He smiled to himself as he tried to mentally plan his evening and come up with something extra fun. He was failing to come up with something, drawing a blank. That really wasn’t like him.

He peeled off his Arkham uniform after he shut the door behind him, grateful to be rid of the tasteless orange color. It never went well with his hair and made him look even paler than usual. Not flattering.

Joker rummaged through his wardrobe, muttering to himself as he picked out various pieces of clothing. “Hmm, should I go for a traditional suit or something a little more daring? Maybe the purple jacket with the long tails? It is classic for me.” He said as he held it out in front of himself. “No, no, that’s too much, not for tonight. I should save that for a special occasion…a night where I actually have plans.”

He paused for a moment, considering his options. “What about this pinstripe suit? It’s stylish but still a little understated. Or maybe I should embrace my wild side and wear that zebra print blazer I. Ooh, decisions, decisions.”

Joker always had a flair for the dramatic, and his fashion choices were no exception. He took great pride in his wardrobe, carefully selecting each piece to make a statement. But his love for fashion was more than just superficial. To Joker, it was a way of expressing his unique perspective on the world. He saw himself as an artist, and his clothing was just another canvas to be painted with his own twisted brand of creativity.

He eventually picked a suit to wear but got stuck on what to pair with it.

Joker continued to sort through his clothes, muttering to himself all the while. “This tie is too boring. That one’s too garish. Maybe I should wear no tie at all? No, no, that’s too casual. I need to make a statement…” Once he settled on what to wear, he was sure he’d de a plan for visethe night.

Joker finally settled on a bright yellow tie with a smiley face pattern emblazoned on it. “Ah, perfect. This is just the right amount of whimsy for a night on the town. Now, what shoes to wear….”

Joker’s outfit was perfect; such a shame it ended up bloodstained. It wasn’t his fault that that officer had tried to bring Joker in by himself. He really should have known better.

He couldn’t believe he had yet to run into the bat. This wasn’t like him not to come around, not after a scene like that. He walked down the street, feeling the boredom creeping back in. Joker’s mind began to wander as he walked, wondering what he could do to spice up the night. He considered robbing a bank or causing chaos at a local nightclub, but those ideas felt too predictable. Joker wanted something new, something that would surprise even himself. He was beginning to grow frustrated.

As he was walking he spotted a diner across the street. That was something to do. Joker mused to himself that it might be interesting to go in and see what sort of reaction he could get from the patrons. He sauntered across the street, feeling a thrill of anticipation building in his chest. As he pushed open the door to the diner, he felt a rush of cool air wash over him.

The moment he stepped through the diner’s doors, there was a tense air in the restaurant. The clown walked up and sat himself down at the counter.

“What can get you?” The service worker behind the counter seemed entirely unphased. One of the most dangerous men in the city sat across the counter from her, and she didn’t even flinch.

Joker couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. He was hoping for a bigger reaction from her. Maybe she was all too used to the madness of Gotham. Joker ordered a cup of coffee, twirling a sugar packet between his fingers as he surveyed the other patrons. They were afraid, at least. Joker wondered if he should make a big scene, maybe pull out his gun or maybe start singing loudly.

But he decided against it - it was too easy, and he didn’t want to do what people expected. Instead, he sipped his coffee and waited for inspiration to strike him. What was tonight so difficult? This didn’t make sense.

Joker could see out of the corner of his eye that some of the other patrons were leaving, not wanting to wait around for what Joker was about to do. He just sat and enjoyed his coffee, lost in thought.

Joker snapped out of it when he heard the faint sound of police cars approaching.

The waitress seemed a little surprised when Joker paid. He didn’t even count, just dropped a wad of cash on the counter.

He hopped the counter and cut through the kitchen to leave out the back entrance. He opened the door into the back alleyway and took off running, wanting to be as far away as possible before the sirens got any closer.

Joker needed to find a place to hide, and fast if he didn’t want his night out to be ruined before he even got started. He headed for the old Amusement Mile.

He made his way to the old park, ducking behind buildings and avoiding any police that crossed his path. Fighting the cops wasn’t fun. Hiding from them wasn’t either, though. This night was not fun. Why wasn’t he having fun?

When he finally arrived, he couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic. The park was a shadow of its former self, but it still had a certain charm to it. Joker smiled to himself as he walked through the empty park, his footsteps echoing through the deserted streets. He remembered when the place was still up a running; that was a long time ago before he and the bat had even met.

As Joker stood in front of the entrance to the funhouse maze he heard some familiar footsteps behind him. “… you’re late.” He commented, to no response. He felt the dark knight’s hand on his shoulder.

Batman’s hand clenched around Joker’s shoulder as he spoke. “What were you doing in that diner, Joker?”

Joker smiled. “Just enjoying a cup of coffee, Batsy. Is that a crime now?”

Batman’s grip tightened further. “You know that’s not what I mean. You were up to something.”

Joker shrugged, still smiling. “Just trying to have a little fun. I thought maybe I could liven up the place, but it looks like everyone was too scared to play along.”

Batman’s gaze bore into him, but Joker refused to back down. He was finally enjoying himself.

“I need to bring you in, Joker” Batman said, his voice low and menacing.

Joker’s grin widened. “Oh, come on, Bats. Where’s the fun in that? You know I’ll just break out again.”

Batman’s expression hardened as he glared at the Joker. “This ends now. You’re going back to Arkham, and this time, you’re not getting out.”

Joker’s grin faltered for just a moment before returning in full force. “We’ll see about that, Batsy.”

Bruce couldn’t understand Joker’s behavior tonight. Yes he had caused some trouble but there seemed to be nothing bigger at stake. Only one dead cop wasn’t Joker’s typical style. There was no other destruction or death caused tonight. It should have been a relief but Bruce couldn’t bring himself to let it go.

Batman glanced back at Joker as they drove back to Arkham. He seemed unusually subdued this time around.

“What’s going on with you tonight, Joker?” Batman asked, breaking the tense silence.

Joker’s eyes flickered toward Batman, his grin slowly widening as he launched into what would surely be a long-winded rant. “You know, Batsy, I just can’t stand to be bored. It’s like a disease or something. It pains me, bats.” Joker continued on, and on,”…I mean, life is just so dull sometimes, you know? I can’t bring myself to just sit in arkham when I know I can just walk out whenever I want to! I need to shake things up. If I didn’t…well, I think I’d lose my mind.” Joker smiled.

Batman rolled his eyes and didn’t respond, but Joker could tell he had begun to get under his skin. It was always so easy to push Batman’s buttons. Almost too easy.

When they finally arrived at Arkham, Batman quickly handed him off, and Joker returned to his cell. As he settled onto his cot, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment. The night had been fun, but it was over now. He was once again stuck in his cell, with nothing to do but wait for his next opportunity to escape.

But even as he lay there, Joker’s mind was already working, already scheming. He knew that he would never be truly bored as long as he had the bat keep him company. Maybe next time the big brute would actually come find him quickly.

Notes:

I just wanted to write joker being joker....with no big schemes or mass murder. I think it came out alright if a little OOC