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Rhaenyra smiled softly at her husband and son as she helped Laenor wrap Joff around him chest in the beautiful red and black cloth. This was one of the most enjoyable parts of motherhood so far: the first flight.
Ever since Alyssa Targaryen had taken her newborn Viserys flying on the impressive Merlys, every Targaryen had made sure not to be outdone by turning, like so many things in their family, a stubborn woman's whim into a family tradition. Introducing her children to her dragons and leading them to take to the sky felt like introducing them to their legacy. “ Look, my love, all this will one day be yours. You were born for the freedom of the skies. Her heart rejoiced at the mere thought.
There were few things as intimate as the bond between a dragonider and their dragon, sharing that with another felt like the greatest sign of intimacy, trust and love. How could they not share it with their children? It was something Rhaenyra thought no one outside of Old Valyrian blood would understand. It was offering to share a fundamental part of you, it was extending and giving confidence.
Alicent certainly hadn't understood.
And after being betrayed by her former friend and her former protector, Rhaenyra felt wary of extending an invitation again to anyone outside of her family. Even her beloved Harwin.
Rhaenyra shook her head, ridding herself of the hateful thoughts. She hated it so much that even when she was going to share one of the most important experiences of her son's life the old longings would break through. Or perhaps, she thought sourly to herself, it was unavoidable after the queen's most recent rejection of her and her children.
"I could run, you wouldn't catch me before Joff and I are over Seasmoke." Laenor's voice found its way into her thoughts and Rhaenyra blinked a couple of times, reorienting herself. When she absorbed her husband's mocking words, she hit him on the arm.
"Do not be a cheater." she said tying the last tie. "It is unbecoming of the husband of the heiress to the iron throne."
“So is hitting your poor innocent husband!” Laenor replied dramatically. Rhaenyra snorted, the blow not even hard. "Now I really should run with Joff to Dragonstone!"
"You wouldn't dare." The threat was lost in the smile she was giving him.
“I think you haven't thought about it enough. Let me convince you, my wife, why my dragon is the best choice for this flight."
"You're just being a sore loser, husband." Rhaenyra teased giving her youngest son a soft kiss and walking out the door.
Sir Lorent of the king's guard would accompany them this time to Dragonpit along with her husband's Sir Qarl . They both bowed briefly before following. Rhaenyra tried to give Qarl a warm smile but still felt wary of him. As long as he kept Laenor happy and didn't take advantage of him she would be friendly to the flamboyant man.
She watched as the two lovers shared a discreet brush of fingers as the knight walked past. The tender look Sir Qarl gave Laenor did much to ease her anxiety. Perhaps this would be the right one and Laenor could find some kind of happiness.
Laenor looked away somewhat sheepishly before he went on about Seasmoke's supposed advantages over Syrax. As if it were a competition that her beloved girl could lose.
She allowed him to continue his nonsense as they boarded the carriage and set off for Rhaenys Hill. When they were already arriving, it was that she decided to stop him.
“Laenor, what did we say?”
Her husband pouted, reminding her terribly of their children when they couldn't get away with it.
"What would be fairer for both if one carries the baby and the other commands the dragon."
"It's a good compromise."
“It's a good compromise. But I really think Joff would like Seasmoke more."
Rhaenyra just hummed pretending to be thoughtful. "Then would you give me Joff? Do you really want to move him? ”
Laenor looked at their son and gently stroked his cheek. Rhaenyra couldn't quite see him sitting across from them but she could hear the baby gurgling and Laenor's gaze melted . Her husband hugged the infant as if afraid she would grab him, and Rhaenyra had to keep from laughing.
When Rhaenyra proposed taking Jace on his first flight she could see the approval on her entire family's faces, when Rhaenys asked if she would take him on Syrax in a measured voice her father answered before any of them could.
"Of course, he is Rhaenyra's first child."
Laenor didn't seem offended and walked her to her girl, placing a soft kiss on Jace's forehead and telling them both that he would be waiting for them. He stood next to Harwin (who was not yet a captain of the city guard and had come as her protector) and was the only one out of the family who remained while she and her little dragon took their walk.
Luke instead was the heir to Driftmark and Laenor had offered to carry him this time.
“ That way we will be equal.” He had said mischievously.
Laenor's intention had been as honest as Rhaenyra had been in relinquishing honor. It wasn't until one of her ladies commented that it was a good thing that Laenor was involved because it would quieten the rumors a bit. Until that moment Rhaenyra had had no idea that on Jace's flight one year the poison tongues had said that Laenor had refused to take Jace with him because she knew he was not his son.
Oh, how Rhaenyra had been enraged that night. Not even two years old and their babies were already the subject of vile rumors.
Joff had revived the whispers but once again it was not because of the words of the sheep that they would take this joint flight. It had been easy the previous two times, Jace was Rhaenyra's heir, Luke was Laenor's heir. It was almost symbolic that they had taken their flights that way. They and their parents had liked it.
Joff was the boy without responsibilities, a gift not wanted and yet much appreciated. A new treasure to appreciate. So… which of the parents would take the honor? In the end Harwin had managed to compromise before one of them sneaked off with the baby to “ win ”.
And if this flight silenced the rumors, it was something secondary and not the point.
To her surprise, the one who helped her down from the carriage was Harwin. Rhaenyra gave him a small nod but she knew from the tiny smile and bright eyes that he knew she was glad to see him.
She didn't know if she could make an excuse for him to be present on this occasion. The children must still be inside if he was still here. They had made it common to arrange for Sir Harwin to accompany the children on their journeys from the keep to the well, after all there were too many royals and too few white cloaks, who could the princess trust but her ancient shield ?
"Sir Harvin." Laenor waved.
His tone, Rhaenyra noted as she released the blue Velaryon cloth of her riding tunic, was warm again. The first moments after the births the dynamic between two of the most important men in Rhaenyra's life was somewhat shaky. Harwin could never freely call his children his and Laenor sank into feelings of inadequacy that he had never been able to give her a son who looked like him.
There was a bit of jealousy and envy that luckily they always managed to solve naturally. Rhaenyra didn't know what she would do if either of them came to resent her or the children.
Watching Laenor lean Joff over for Harwin to see and they start a conversation she felt herself relax. She glanced sideways at Qarl . This one seemed to be more permanent than the previous ones. He and Laenor had been together for over a year now . Laenor had invited him to come with them. Perhaps she should make an effort to get closer and iron out the awkwardness between them.
Sir Lorent stayed in one of the corridors while the five of them made their way to Syrax in comfortable silence. The sounds of children's voices wafted to them and Rhaenyra smiled. They could surprise their little dragons.
They rounded a corner just as Rhaenyra heard a chorus of “The Pink Dread” and someone slammed into her hard, tripping her against Harwin.
Her half-brother Aemond looked at her with a twisted expression of pain and tears in his eyes. Instead of following her habit of leaving Alicent's children as Alicent's problem, her instincts took over and stopped him when he tried to run.
"Amond, wait. What happened ? ” When the boy tried to circle her once more she put on a harsher tone. "Your princess commands you to answer, brother."
Aemond froze, Rhaenyra felt her shoulders shake under her hands. But it was not Aemond's voice that answered, but her children's.
Laenor felt an emotion he never thought he would feel toward his children: annoyance. He had stepped back to let Rhaenyra deal with his obviously uneasy brother but hearing and seeing the extent of the nasty prank his sons had played on him he wasn't sure he would stay out of it.
He wasn't sure how to intervene either and glanced at his lover and Nyra 's lover for guidance. He had never been in charge of disciplining their little ones and they were both mostly obedient children.
Qarl looked uncomfortable and had turned away from everyone, turning his back on them and staring at a wall. The perfect image of a guard who makes himself invisible to the business of his superiors. The memory of the gap between them made Laenor's heart ache. Qarl was not nearly a dragon, but Laenor still wanted his assistance, not his acquiescence.
Since he would have no help from that side he looked at Harwin. He was the eldest of three brothers, surely he had some idea but when Laenor looked at him he shook his head and pursed his lips helplessly, glancing around and taking in Aegon and then his three sons. He couldn't intervene openly, it was too dangerous for the children to act too fatherly or intervene in a fight between the princes.
Rhaenyra looked lost too, angry but lost. She simply pulled the humiliated boy closer so he could hide his tears as she looked at their children. It was likely that she would scold the children in private.
That did not sit well with Laenor as he saw the cheeks flush with humiliation and the tears the youngest of his good brothers tried to hold back.
“I don't see how your uncle's lack of a dragon justifies this. Unless they think their aunt, grandfather, and uncle are inferior for not having had a dragon from birth.”
"Of course not! It was a joke! exclaimed Luke happily stroking the winged pig. He didn't see the problem. How could their children not see the problem? Especially when they both used to be so sweet and empathetic. Aemond was their friend. “Are you going to fly with the baby ? !” he asked excitedly.
"Can we go too?” Jace smiled too, easily distracted by his little brother. Laenor did not feel like being distracted.
“It doesn't seem like it was a good joke. I don't find it funny, Aemond doesn't look like he's having fun either.”
Some sense seemed to strike Jace and Luke and they took a couple of worried steps toward Aemond. good . His children had never lived with the longing to find their dragon, but Laenor still remembered the look her mandia gave him and Rhaenyra, the confession of envy, jealousy, pain, and helplessness that Laena could only articulate when she had Vhagar because she she felt uncomfortable with the cruel thoughts she had harbored against him.
"He's just being dramatic." Aegon dismissed, brushing the shaggy horses away from his face. “He has to get over it, not be a crybaby.”
Luke looked uncertain but Jace nodded as if those were very wise words and that combined with the terrible words made Laenor's fury rise. Rhaenyra's too because she finally intervened.
“There is no shame in his egg not hatching…”
"They didn't give me an egg." Aemond muttered in a choked voice.
"What?” Rhaenyra asked, confused. Laenor was also confused.
“I did not receive any eggs. Father didn't think I would need it. I'm not good enough to deserve to follow the tradition."
Aemond's tone did not sit well with Rhaenyra. Neither did his words. What her half brother was saying didn't make any sense. Her father had chosen a damn golden egg himself to commemorate the birth of his first child with Alicent, of course he would give eggs to the rest of his children. They had been chosen together for Daeron and Jace!
Except her father didn't seem to remember that until she asked him if he and Alicent were going with her to Dragonstone. Alicent had announced her pregnancy two weeks after Rhaenyra was finally able to make her announcement, at the time she had been bitter but by her fifth month, scared by her pregnancy and feeling lonely despite the support of Laenor, Harwin, and Harwin's sisters, Rhaenyra had tried to bridge the gap and what better than an activity that they could do together?
Alicent's face had fallen and closed, her father looked pleasantly surprised and agreed.
Aegon had an egg.
Daeron had an egg.
Helaena had claimed Dreamfyre a few months ago.
Rhaenyra carefully tried to know as little as possible about her half-siblings at first out of anger at their existence being an affront to her mother and proof of her father 's and her friend's betrayal and then because of the complicated situation with Alicent. It was possible that Helaena and Aemond had n't had an egg instead of it not hatching like the poor daughter of her Kepa and her dear Laena did.
But why?
"Technically it's not a tradition." She told them following her train of thought and trying to reassure her brother. The whole situation made her feel uncomfortable, as if she had missed a step and fallen several steps.
“Of course it is a tradition!” Aegon contradicted her, his face clouded by a strange expression she couldn't read. “The Targaryens receive eggs, take their first flight as babies and are taught their languages and traditions. It's just not something they bothered to give us because we're not the heirs."
Bitterness. It was bitterness that was in Aegon's tone. Rhaenyra felt her heart stop beating and she pulled the child in her arms closer even though it wasn't hers.
She cast a helpless look at her companions. Laenor looked as she felt: angry, guilty, and ashamed. Harwin looked at her gently, steadily, and breathlessly. It was the same look he'd given her when she, after punishing Jace for the first time, confessed that she wasn't quite sure she was doing the right thing. Her beloved trusted her to make the right decisions. That filled her with warmth and confidence.
They had made a mistake. She, her father, and even Daemon and Laenor had made a mistake towards the youngest of their family. And it was indifference and bitterness that led them to it.
She straightened her back and licked her lips. She had the beginning of a plan, she hoped Laenor would follow through.
"It is not. It was Princess Rhaena who laid eggs in the cribs of her little brothers , the future King Jaehaerys and Queen Alysanne. Neither of them laid eggs in the cribs of their children or grandchildren. Laenor and I were the first to receive one after them."
And both, Rhaenyra now knew, had to do with political motives in skipping Princess Rhaenys as heir. Baelor 's egg had been a whim of hers, the emotion that perhaps, as her father said, it would live. She would have a brother, her father would have his precious heir, and her mother would never have to go through this again.
She could also admit, since she was indulging in self-reflection and being honest with herself, that Aegon's egg, as Daeron's seems to have been , had been an attempt to close the gaps. Her father may have chosen a golden egg not to insult her and Syrax but to create a connection with her brother.
The eggs for Jacaerys, Lucerys, and Joffrey as well as those for their cousins across the sea, Baela and Rhaena, had been so fervently proud that she and Daemon were of their heritage. Of course their children deserved a dragon from the cradle.
No one saw for Helaena and Aemond's inheritance, they didn't even think about it. And yet Rhaenyra thought that they too had received an egg from her father. Did he not also follow the old customs as best he could and venerate his origins ? Didn't you want to reaffirm your children's inheritance ?
And yet...
"It was my... our grandmother the first to take her son to fly."
"It wasn't something we did from the Freehold ." Laenor confirmed trying to make himself useful.
"But Daemon took you to our sister, Princess Rhaenys took you, you guys came to take the brat."
Rhaenyra glared at Aegon who looked away and shrugged. She didn't appreciate her son being called a brat.
With a sigh she softened. Aegon was right though she won't appreciate his language. The Targaryens belonged to the sky, they deserved to be carried even if they couldn't fly on their own. But who had done it for his brothers? With a pang of pain he realized it belonged to her.
You once dreamed of taking your brother Baelor into Syrax and yet you couldn't bother with them. A voice in his head scoffed. That voice sounded like Alicent, she noted absently before condemning and burying the thought.
There was no time like the present to try to rectify mistakes.
He glared at Laenor who had absentmindedly begun to bounce his son.
"You're right. Laenor is going to take his flight with Joffrey in Seasmoke." Her husband raised his eyebrows but allowed himself no other sign of confusion. He had better not be so arrogant about this or she would have to have another child to even the score. And other. Five sounded like a more charming number than four.
"We can go? The four of us can go” Luke asked looking anxiously at his uncles. He tried to smile excitedly but quickly lost his smile.
Her poor baby understood that he was wrong, he could see it in his eyes but he didn't know how to fix it or fully understand. That was going to need a much more serious talk. It was not going to be solved with a fight. At least not in the way Luke wanted.
"No. You and Jace are going to take Sir Harwin and Sir Qarl back to their rooms. I hope that by the time I return they have reflected on their actions.”
"I do not understand why." Jace tried to retort by looking rebellious but thought better of it after she shot him a look and Laenor began to push them with whispers and a steady hand to her lover. A stubborn and ill-tempered streak that son of yours. She would be sure to tell Laenor and Harwin that it was in no way her fault.
"Explain them, okay?” she whispered to Harwin as he turned to leave. Harwin may not be a dragon but he was a very empathetic man with endless patience. His experience with the bullying that Larys had suffered as a child could also be useful in this case, even if Aemond was not a cripple and their situations were not entirely similar.
By the time she and Laenor got there they would have a good idea if their children understood why their behavior had been cruel or if they needed to have another talk.
"Aemond and Aegon, you two will come with me." She ordered when she was sure that the children and their companions had left.
" Good luck ," Laenor called Valyrian to her, Aemond looked at them curiously. He kissed her on the forehead, apparently ignoring the boy who was repeating the sounds of what must have been his mother tongue under his breath. "I told you Seasmoke was the right choice." Rhaenyra wrinkled her nose in annoyance but smiled when Aemond glanced up briefly to glare at her husband who ruffled hia hair.
"Good flight." She wished him before leaving her own kiss on her little boy's head and a kiss on her husband's cheek.
“Of course! We will be flying in the best dragon in the world!” Laenor declared, and Joff, the traitor, chirped in what sounded like agreement.
"I didn't know Merlys was here." She declared with false confusion and Laenor gasped in offense. If she was going to give in to any dragon it would be the mother of her and Laenor's eggs.
"Come on, little one, your mother cannot recognize the magnificence before her." He grimaced at the infant and waited for the dragon keepers to bring Seasmoke.
When Seasmoke was finally ready her husband came over as she and her brothers watched.
" Calm down, Seasmoke, I have someone to introduce you to ." Rhaenyra could hear a low mutter belonging to Aemond. Despite the happy occasion that embittered her a little. How careless she had been.
Laenor approached her beloved dragon with a measured but fearless step. Seasmoke bent his head allowing himself to be stroked as Laenor continued to speak to him. " This is Joffrey, he is my son and I hope you protect him as you protect me"
Laenor tipped his prized cargo for Seasmoke to smell. He blew out a puff of smoke that made Aegon and Aemond gasp in fear and Joff a chime-like laugh that carried over to them.
Soon after, Laenor climbed onto the saddle and waved farewell to the small group before barking an order.
Rhaenyra watched them in amusement until they disappeared outside the exit before losing her smile.
"Okay, come on. There is no time to lose." She dusted her sweaty hands on her robes. She hoped it wasn't too little, too late.
Aegon clenched his jaw with fear in his eyes heading the way his nephews had left and Aemond tried to walk away but Rhaenyra would not allow them more than a few steps.
"Where are they going ? ”
"You said we had to go, I thought you would send us to our mother." The eldest of his half brothers responded petulantly.
Rhaenyra snorted. "No. Come”
She pulled Aemond by his hand and glanced at Aegon for him to follow. As an almost adult the boy wouldn't appreciate her holding his hand too.
"What are you doing?!” Aegon asked nervously when he saw Syrax in front of them. Aemond finally lifted his head, eyes widening.
“I corrected a couple of mistakes.” To her confusion they both paled noticeably. “You were right, we have set your aside, and we have not helped your or taught anything of your heritage. It was an oversight on the part of all of us.” They both looked at her with fear and something like hope. "Aegon, I know you've already flown Sunfyre but if you'll allow me I'd like to give you and your brother what must have been their first flight."
Aegon's jaw clenched tightly, looking conflicted. "Whatever." He finally gave in.
Aemond had such hope on his face it was almost painful but then he closed his expression in a way that reminded her terribly of his mother.
"And Helaena?" he asked with narrowed eyes in suspicion.
“Syrax can only handle the three of us, I'll go look for her another time. I promise."
"And Daeron? I have more brothers, you know?” Rhaenyra tried not to laugh at Aegon's pedantic tone though her heart broke a little. Alicent had sent her younger son to OldTown so young that many forgot the king and queen had four children together, not three.
"As soon as I get the chance I'll take him too."
Aemond looked at her seriously. “You have to keep that promise. Otherwise you'll be an oathbreaker and I'll tell the whole world. I am a prince and they will believe me."
Rhaenyra suppressed the urge to coo, "Of course."
Aemond's confidence had taken a hit, it was only natural for him to be cautious and try to avoid being fooled again. She didn't think his brother realized that it was the word of the adult heir to the throne against that of a little boy so far removed from any political power that it barely counted.
“I'm going to approach Syrax, when I tell you it's safe you can come closer so I can introduce you and she can smell you. Good? ”
Both children nodded and Rhaenyra smiled. Perhaps he had missed Jof 's first flight , but this was important as well.