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The smell of delicious Cheesy Verona Stew mingled in the air of Garreg Mach’s mess hall along with the chatter of hungry soldiers, eagerly recuperating with a nice warm meal. Amongst these soldiers sat some of the Golden Deer, Leonie ravenously wolfing down the stew on one side of the table with Marianne and Hilda dining across from her, basically raising the bowl to her mouth while the other two ate in a much more… cordial manner.
“Now this is what I’m talking about!” Leonie exclaimed contentedly as she almost got to the bottom of her bowl. The dish was one of her favourites, and hearing that it was on the menu today had her doubly excited to eat. “A meal like this really hits the spot after a long day of training! I hope there’s enough for seconds!”
Hilda giggled behind a gloved hand. “If you like it so much, you should thank Marianne. She was in charge of kitchen duty today.”
Leonie perked up from her bowl, beaming at Marianne across from her. “Wow Marianne, you cooked this?! It’s amazing!” She had no idea Marianne could cook on top of… well, pretty much everything else she did. Leonie was familiar with her talents on the battlefield, being a powerful caster as well as picking up the sword and lance after the class reunion. Outside of that, she had a way with animals that no one else in the Monastery possessed, and she was always relied upon in the stables for that. Thinking on all this, Leonie cheerily added, “You’re a woman of many talents, you know that?”
If she wasn’t already blushing from all the attention Hilda had reeled in for her, Marianne was completely crimson now. The only thing she could intently stare at were the chunks of fish she poked at in her stew. “Th-that’s a bit much, but… I’m glad you enjoy it.”
“Marianne’s been spending a lot of time in the kitchen lately, haven’t you, Marianne?” Hilda returned the conversation to her best friend again, despite the girl starting to squirm in her seat from the attention. “And I hear the meals are well-received every time.”
“It’s no big deal…” Marianne whispered shyly. “It’s just something I enjoy.”
Leonie was impressed hearing this. In their school years, Marianne kept herself so far from the spotlight that it took several months for Leonie just to learn the most basic of Marianne facts. However, ever since Marianne had defeated the Wandering Beast outside Edmund territory, her confidence was growing by the day and everybody was slowly getting to know her more and more.
“I didn’t know that you liked to cook,” Leonie said. “If you commit to it, you’ll do a lot of good for everyone here at the Monastery. Especially since we’re embarking on our next mission at the end of the week!”
“Oh yeah, we’re heading out near your hometown to deal with some bandits, aren’t we?” Hilda asked Leonie, who nodded with a shrug.
“We’re going to be a few miles out from there, yeah,” Leonie said between chews as she finished the last of her bowl of stew. “We probably won’t be making it to Sauin, what with everything going on, but if we do get the chance, it would be nice.”
“Meeting the Pinellis would be a treat for sure,” Hilda said. She sipped a spoonful, then added playfully, “I’d love to see the folks who raised our fiery Leonie.”
Leonie laughed. “They’d love to meet you guys too!”
“And from what you’ve said before, it sounds like a beautiful place,” Marianne added.
“It is!” The thought of her friends visiting her home was a fun one. Sauin was full of kind, welcoming people and was surrounded by beautiful, natural sights. Maybe someday, after the war was over, she’d have the chance to show everyone what her little village had to offer. In the meantime, she could look forward to at least visiting the territory in a couple of days, and clearing out the bandits while she was at it.
When Leonie finished the stew, she let out a satisfied sigh, then stood up from the table with the bowl still in hand. “That was delicious! Thanks again, Marianne!”
“Of course. I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Marianne said, smiling gently. Smiles from Marianne were a treat for everyone in the Golden Deer, and Leonie was no exception. She couldn’t help but grin too.
“I’m going to see if there are any leftovers. I’ll be right back!” Leonie clambered out of the bench and started walking away. “Pray that Raphael doesn’t beat me to it!”
There was only a small line-up at the counter, but the pacing of the queue was pretty quick. Leonie bounced on her heels excitedly as she waited for her turn. She was a little worried to hear about the bandits being just a few miles from her home, but the great food perked her right up. Besides, when she was brandishing her mettle against forces led by Emperor Edelgard, she had nothing to fear when it came to dealing with some random bandits.
When it was her turn, she helped herself to another bowlful and made her way back to the table where Hilda and Marianne were whispering, Hilda’s lips by Marianne’s ear hidden behind a rosy glove. Leonie raised a brow at the two, becoming even more suspicious at how quickly they pulled apart when they noticed her.
“Gossiping at the table, are you?” Leonie teased as she sat back down.
Hilda laughed, waving a hand. “You caught us! You know there’s no end to the drama these days!”
Leonie glanced to Marianne, who was shyly sipping her stew. Though she was a little bit curious about what they were talking about, Leonie didn’t give it a second thought, simply shrugging as she helped herself.
She was none the wiser to Marianne’s furtive looks over her spoon.
~
Stable duties were an endless, daily task, but they were one of the jobs that Leonie never minded doing. Tending to the horses and cleaning their tack was easy work for her, and the smell of hay reminded her of her home, where she helped care for the horses whenever she got the chance.
Leonie wasn’t supposed to come in until later, but sparring with Claude was wrapped up sooner than intended when the Professor required his aid in strategic planning for this week’s mission. So Leonie dropped by the stables to get a head start on the chores, starting with cleaning out the stalls. She went from stall to stall, scooping up the dirty hay with a pitchfork and lifting it into the nearby wheelbarrow.
Better to get the worst of the work out of the way first, she thought.
For now, she was alone, but Marianne was supposed to join her when she returned from flying duty with Hilda, which was great. A lot of their friends from the academy days were experienced equestrians, but no one really had the same love for horses as Marianne, and Leonie enjoyed having that love in common with her. Lorenz scoffed at the idea of picking up a pitchfork and moaned through the work. Raphael was fun to work with, but his booming voice frequently startled the horses and pegasi. With Marianne, however, the work got done in no time at all. And lately, the Professor had been putting them on stable duties together a lot. Leonie assumed that they could recognize the great work ethic the two had together and paired them up so often for that reason.
At the other end of the stable, Leonie heard the gates open where the flying mounts were brought in. She figured that signaled the return of Marianne and Hilda, so she set down her pitchfork outside the stall she just finished with to go meet them. While she was here, she might as well help her friends with stabling the beasts and removing their tack.
That being said, she had to be careful, or else Hilda would leave Leonie to untack her wyvern all by herself.
There was a small passageway between where the horses were stabled, where the pegasi and wyverns were stabled, and the hay mound where the hay and straw was kept for all the animals. Leonie was just passing through it when she heard the voices of her friends on the other side of the threshold.
“Just don’t give up yet,” Hilda was in the middle of saying. “Her skull’s on the thick side but we’ll get through to her.”
Leonie raised a brow at that. Was this some more of that gossip they joked about earlier? She leaned in, trying to guess who this “her” with the thick skull could be.
“Are you sure?” Marianne asked, sounding worried. The heavier footsteps of the animals they led in followed the voices of their riders. “I just think… I don’t know. I feel like she should have at least noticed by now, right?”
“I promise, Marianne,” Hilda continued. “You know how Leonie is. We’ll just come up with a plan so big that there’s no way she couldn’t figure it out! And then you’ll be the local lovebirds in no time!”
The heel of Leonie’s boot hovered over the doorway into the flying stables. Shock froze her in place, keeping her from taking a step forward. Hilda’s words bounced around in her skull, but denial kept her from fully processing what she just heard. The words that she wasn’t supposed to hear.
Did Marianne… have feelings for her?
Panic propelled Leonie’s next steps. She couldn’t be caught standing here like this after catching that. She didn’t think, and she barely registered her surroundings. She quickly backed away from the doorway in order to avoid detection, only to step back into a trio of rakes propped up against the wall. Whirling around, she was only fast enough to catch one while the others toppled to the ground in a helpless clatter. The sharp, clear sound of wood hitting stone had Leonie’s blood run cold. For a split second, the stables were dead silent, no echoes even from the animals. Hastily, Leonie bent down to gather the other rakes, as if picking them up could undo the noise they just made. But she knew she was in hot water when frantic footsteps sounded and stopped right behind her.
Arms full of rakes and pitchforks, Leonie dared to look over her shoulder. In spite of her millisecond prayers, a bewildered Hilda and Marianne were standing behind her in their flying gear.
Think fast. Act dumb.
“Hey guys!” Leonie said with a forced cheeriness that was hugely unlike her. “Sorry, I went to grab one thing and knocked everything over. Clumsy me!” She forced a laugh that felt hollow in her throat. She wasn’t clumsy at all. Hilda knew that. Marianne knew that. She broke into a sweat under her collar. Normally a cool-headed person, she never found herself panicking like this before. But then again, who even finds themselves in a situation like this?!
There was a moment of dumbfounded shock between the other two girls before a smile flashed on Hilda’s face. “Oh, that’s okay!” Hilda said cheerily, but the cheer was layered over something sharper that sent a chill down Leonie’s spine. “You just surprised us, that’s all! Aren’t you a little early for stable duties?”
“Yeah, I came by to get a head start,” Leonie said, speaking less awkwardly before when it was the truth. She straightened to her feet with her arms full of barn tools. She carefully set them all against the wall where they rested before, determined to make them stay there. Once she deemed herself safe from any other unnecessarily loud noises, Leonie turned back to her friends. Hilda still bore a tight smile on her painted lips, while Marianne was as pale as a ghost. Such a fearful expression on Marianne’s face opened pits in Leonie’s stomach.
“How was the flying patrol?” Leonie asked, trying to keep things casual. “Do you two need help untacking your mounts, or…?”
“No, not at all! We should be fine!” Hilda said, waving her hand like she was shooing away the offer. That was a red flag; on any other day she would have taken the offer to help. “Just give us a bit and Marianne will be helping you out in no time!”
Leonie slowly nodded, her eyes still on Marianne, who was avoiding her gaze. In a flash of pink hair, Hilda swiftly spun around and put an arm around Marianne’s shoulders, escorting her back to where they left their mounts. Leonie turned on her heel and marched back into the horse stable. She closed the door behind her for good measure before exhaling the longest sigh of her life, stomach sick with the feeling of doing something wrong.
So. That was a thing. That is a thing. How was she even supposed to begin processing everything she just heard?
Marianne likes me? Marianne? ME?
Leonie slapped her hands over her face, blushing. Since when? For how long? And why? Marianne? Her? Really?! The words looped in her head in no particular order over and over and over again as the truth sunk in. She played back what they said over and over. Maybe I misheard? No, she heard it clear as day, the voice in her head told her. Did they say my name? No, they didn’t say Lorenz or Lysithea. They said Leonie. There was no point in fooling herself about it. The fact that she was even trying to deny it just proved Hilda right.
I wouldn’t call myself stupid, but I guess I do have a thick skull…
First the news about the bandits, and now this. Leonie could not have guessed her day going in such intense directions. She pushed herself off of the door and threw herself into the nearest task, because if she sank to the floor like she wanted to, that was where Marianne was going to find her.
So much for being cool-headed.
The usual Leonie way of sorting her thoughts was to keep herself busy, so she did just that. She forgot where she left off with cleaning up after the horses, so she picked up the nearest object—a hoof pick—and got back to working with that instead. She started from one end of the aisle of stalls and found this particular task to be quite helpful in keeping her thoughts straight as she channeled her agitation into scraping the dirt and mud out from the horses’ hooves.
Leonie felt hot under her clothes, and it wasn’t just because of the warm stable air. She felt bad that the truth came out that way. Marianne definitely wouldn’t have meant to reveal it in that way. Leonie wasn’t even sure if her acting casual had convinced them of ignorant bliss regarding their conversation. From the way Hilda ushered her away, she kind of doubted it. But the thought of how Marianne must be feeling made her sick. Was she upset? Afraid that Leonie was upset?
After she finished with the first horse and moved to the next stall, Leonie peeked over to the door where Marianne would be emerging from to help, but only saw the door still closed. They were still busy. Or maybe they were still talking.
Working on the next horse, Leonie tried to think back on how long this must have been going on for. It sounded like Hilda had been helping Marianne for a while. They mentioned Marianne working more in the kitchen, and today they had one of Leonie’s favourite meals. She had noticed that a lot of her favourite meals had been served as of late, but chalked it up to good luck. Was it actually intentional?
They spent a lot more time chatting during stable duties recently too. Leonie had just attributed that to Marianne coming out of her shell. Since she inherited Blutgang, social interaction had seemed like less of a burden to her, not just with Leonie but with everyone. But were there hints there that Leonie had failed to pick up too?
Leonie paused, her hand hovering over the hoof and leg her arm was hooked around. She thought back frantically on the past few weeks, recalling little things that Marianne had done for her seemingly out of the blue. After Leonie had made a passing comment about losing her fishing float, Marianne had kindly replaced it a couple days later. When Leonie was ranting about a bad day to Marianne, she invited her to horseback riding after their chores. And sometimes when Leonie was finished a heavy round of training, Marianne was there with a waterskin in hand.
Several additional, smaller acts of kindness anted up in Leonie’s memory, and at some point she had fully parted from the horse she was holding onto to sit cross-legged in the hay in the stall, her fist propped up pensively against her chin. Her world was flipped on her head as she was left to wonder if these acts of kindness were done with intentions other than friendship. A beautiful, kind young woman like Marianne was doing all these things to get her to notice her and Leonie was completely naïve to the whole thing.
Never mind. I really am an idiot.
The horse sniffed her hair curiously while she buried her face in her arms in shame. Marianne, who was so anxious and wary of others could barely look anyone in the eyes during their school days, was going out of her way to get Leonie to notice her. Leonie never saw herself as the type to get flustered in this way by romantic gestures, yet here she was, curled up in horse bedding, overwhelmed by Marianne’s thoughtful attempts to win her heart.
In the end, she supposed, it didn’t matter how long Marianne had felt this strongly about her. The more important question was: what was Leonie going to do about it?
Romance had never been at the forefront of Leonie’s mind before. Her goals for the future had oriented around becoming a powerful mercenary, one that could protect the common-folk from those that tried to prey on them. Finding a special someone was a nice idea, but that was all it had been until now. Granted, that didn’t mean she was opposed to a relationship…
As she picked away at the dirt in the next set of hooves, Leonie thought about Marianne and her own feelings to the pious young woman. Without a doubt in her mind, Leonie was extremely fond of Marianne. She enjoyed all the time they spent together. She loved having a friend in someone who cared about horses as much as she did. Marianne was a kind, sweet and gentle soul, and beneath that soft exterior was a strong woman who had endured so much. She was proud of how far Marianne had come in overcoming her hardships, especially since the class had reunited here at Garreg Mach. Leonie could definitely describe Marianne as a special girl, but was she special to her in that way?
The slam of a nearby door made her jump. Leonie set down the horse’s hoof and stood on her tippy-toes, lifting her chin so she could see over the top of the stall. She saw the top of Marianne’s periwinkle hair bobbing down the aisle. Leonie was on her fifth horse, but it felt like it had been hours between the awkward encounter and now. Did Marianne and Hilda really take that long to put their mounts away, or was the passage of time stretched by her whirling thoughts and feelings?
Leonie pushed her way out of the stall to approach Marianne, who had been walking slowly and looking back and forth as if searching for something. Or someone, perhaps. The second Leonie stepped into her line of sight, it was Marianne’s turn to jump.
“Oh, Leonie, I was… wondering if you were still here.” Marianne placed a hand on her chest as if to calm herself.
“Yep, just, uh, cleaning the ol’ hooves,” Leonie said, holding up the pick as evidence and feeling pretty lame in the moment. She quickly lowered her hand. “What did you want to get started with? There’s still a lot to do. I can… I can help if you want.” It felt weird to suggest, but as it came out, Leonie meant it. She didn’t want the awkwardness to get in the way of the two actually being able to speak and spend time with each other.
Marianne, however, hesitated at the offer. “N-no, that’s okay… I think I’ll just start with bringing in water for the horses. I don’t want you to stop what you started.”
“Oh… okay,” Leonie said, putting on a brave face. That was fine? She could be fine with that, right?
One agonizing hour later, she gave up on whether she could be fine with it.
An awkward silence hung heavier in the air than the smells of hay, fur and manure. Whatever end of the stable Leonie worked on, Marianne kept to the other end. Any eye contact made by one person was immediately broken away by the other. It was torture. The only things they managed to talk about where to find this, that and the other thing. Leonie kicked herself mentally. She didn’t want to get held up by something like this, but every time she tried to think of something to talk about, her mind drew a blank.
While she swept the center aisle, Leonie threw glances at Marianne, who was bringing fresh feed and water to Dorte in his stall. She started to wonder if she should address the elephant in the room. That had to be the reason for Marianne’s avoidance of her. She must have been too afraid that Leonie knew the truth and was afraid of what she must be thinking. And Leonie couldn’t blame her for that.
But what was she supposed to say? Wouldn’t addressing the truth be even more mortifying for Marianne? And how would she respond to her feelings? It made her happy that Marianne cared for her in that way, but she had never thought of her in that way before. Could she really start doing that now, or was she jumping too quickly into the idea just because she now knew of Marianne’s affections?
A clattering noise interrupted her thoughts, following by a yelp of distress from Marianne and some shuffling from Dorte. Looking up, Leonie trotted over to the door to Dorte’s stall to peer inside. Marianne and Dorte had backed away from the bucket of fresh water that had been knocked over, and a puddle was now blooming on the floor, darkening the stone and soaking the hay. Marianne’s hands fell to her sides in frustration.
“You okay?” Without a second thought, Leonie lifted the latch on the door and pushed her way in, broom still in hand.
“Yes, I’m alright… just…” The mess was self-explanatory. She sighed heavily. “And you just replaced his hay. How stupid of me.”
“Hey, no need to talk yourself down like that,” Leonie said. She leaned the brush against the outside of Dorte’s stall. “How about you get a mop and I’ll get some more fresh hay for Dorte?”
Marianne nodded. With the two of them moving, it was a quick, easy mess to clean up. After the wet hay was replaced with fresh bedding, Leonie helped Marianne in bringing fresh water for Dorte again, and just like that, it was as if the mess never happened. To top it all off, Dorte seemed pleased as punch.
“There we go! No harm, no foul,” Leonie said, standing in the stall next to Marianne as Dorte dipped his muzzle into his trough to drink.
“You’re right,” Marianne agreed. She placed a hand on Dorte’s shoulder. “Thank you for being so patient, Dorte, while we cleaned everything up.”
In response, Dorte flicked his tail in acknowledgement. Leonie observed this interaction curiously. She used to think Marianne was joking when she talked about speaking with animals. But she’d never seen the horses react to anyone else the way they did when Marianne interacted with them.
“I don’t think you have to worry about Dorte,” Leonie said. “I don’t think he could stay mad at you for anything.”
Marianne giggled at that. Leonie smiled. Maybe it was a little bit of extra work to clean up the spill, but she was fine with that. It was her first normal interaction with Marianne since she had set foot in the stables earlier that day.
“Thank you too, Leonie,” Marianne said, shyly looking up at her from where she stood next to Dorte.
“Huh? For what?”
“For helping to clean up the mess. It was my fault, I should have cleaned it up myself.”
“Psh, it was no problem at all, really! You know I’m always here to help you with anything.”
The words felt heavier leaving her lips than they might have before the incident earlier. And once again that happy little moment was blanketed with the weight of awkwardness. Marianne turned away as if to hide in Dorte’s shelter. Why did it have to be awkward? Maybe Leonie didn’t know how she felt about Marianne in the moment, but it was always going to be true.
Marianne was always going to be important to her.
“Marianne—”
Leonie took a step towards the other girl. At that moment, Dorte swung his head around, knocking Leonie into Marianne and causing them both to yelp. They grabbed each other by the shoulders, stumbling until Marianne’s back hit the wall of the stall. They caught themselves and each other, clinging to each other’s sleeves, Leonie’s hand bracing herself on the wall beside Marianne’s head. Their faces were inches apart. Leonie felt like how Marianne looked; absolutely and totally mortified. All Leonie could focus on was the feel of Marianne’s arms in her hands and her warm brown eyes gaping back at her. The heat radiating from her face rivalled that of the sun. Marianne must have felt it too.
“S-sorry!” Leonie quickly backed off, and just like that the spell was over. Flustered, Marianne pushed herself off of the wall and away from Leonie towards her horse.
“D-Dorte!” Marianne pointed a firm finger. “Please, be more careful! Leonie could have gotten hurt!”
Dorte just flicked his ears innocently and stuck his head into his feed, which didn’t seem to make Marianne feel any better.
“I-it’s okay, Marianne!” Leonie said, trying to laugh it off. “He was probably just trying to scratch an itch and I got in the way.”
Marianne pursed her lips. She seemed unconvinced of this, but Leonie didn’t press the subject any further. If Dorte of all people had some kind of ulterior motive, Leonie didn’t know what she was going to do with that information.
“It’s fine… how about we get to watering the rest of the horses? I can help you out with that,” Leonie suggested. She reached out to place a hand on Marianne’s shoulder, but she flinched from the touch, stepping away.
“Sorry… I-I’m actually not feeling well all of a sudden.” Marianne’s gaze was on the floor. “If it’s alright with you, I… I think I need to go.”
“Huh?” Leonie didn’t know what to say. She thought everything was okay between them now. What was going on? “I mean, if you’re not feeling well, I won’t stop you, but…”
“Thank you. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you next time.” And with that, Marianne rushed out of the stall and quickly hurried out of the stables.
All the while, Leonie’s palms burned with the feeling of holding Marianne in her arms.
~
The rest of the week passed by in a blur of confusion for Leonie.
As the mission got closer and closer, things got more and more difficult between her and Marianne, as well as Hilda to an extent. Every time Leonie tried to speak with her, Marianne would excuse herself to some task or errand she needed to do. She couldn’t meet Leonie’s eyes over the dinner table. All of the places where they commonly spent time together was now scarce of the other woman.
But why?
It devastated Leonie. It hurt her not to spend any time with Marianne. Was she really that afraid of how Leonie felt about her? Was she going to give up before she got a response?
A response. What was that response going to be? It troubled Leonie for a few days, but over the course of the week, when she could only watch Marianne from afar, she figured it out in spite of herself. All of the time that they spent together in retrospect became clearer, and with it the truth became apparent.
She wanted to be with Marianne. She couldn’t stop thinking about her smile at the dinner table, the warmth of her touch against her arm, all of the little things that made her so wonderful. But at this rate, was she going to get the chance to say so?
Leonie had half a mind to consult Hilda on the subject, but she didn’t want to get someone else to mediate this. She should be able to share her feelings with Marianne directly.
Before she knew it, the day had come for the Golden Deer to depart on their mission, and the group set out with their horses and caravan to traverse to Gloucester Territory, to the village in the grasslands near Sauin where the bandits were reported to be pillaging. Leonie rode near the front of the group by Claude and the Professor, helping to navigate, but she was conscious of Marianne riding far in the back behind her, and frequently stole glances over her shoulder as if afraid the other woman would turn Dorte around and return to Garreg Mach on her own.
“Something wrong, Leonie?” Claude asked at one point. “If you think we’re being followed, don’t worry. It’s just all of our friends behind us.”
“I know,” Leonie said, swivelling back to attention again. “Don’t worry about me.”
She ignored the insightful gleam in the Professor’s green eyes.
Once they set up a short distance away from the village, the Golden Deer carried out the mission over two days, first pinpointing the bandits’ location and then setting up a strategy to weed them out for good. After five years of warding off Empire and Kingdom soldiers, a group of bandits was nothing, and the combined tactics of Claude and the Professor earned a success for the Deer over the course of an afternoon.
But not without penalty. Leonie dominated during the battle, ferociously whatever bandit threatened her homeland (or adjacent-homeland, rather), but she walked away from the fight with a nasty gash running down her arm. She was at least able to ride on her own back to camp. The healers prioritized the few fighters who had taken on more serious injuries. Leonie was ready to walk back to her tent and patch herself up on her own when she heard her name being cried out.
“Oh goddess, Leonie!”
Walking on foot between the rows of tents, carrying her lance with her uninjured arm, Leonie turned to see Marianne rushing her way, her deep blue dress billowing around her. Her frantic demeanor alarmed Leonie.
“Whoa, are you okay?” Leonie asked, her heart beating just a little bit faster. “What’s going on?”
“‘What’s going on?’ You’re hurt!” The disbelief in Marianne’s tone caused Leonie to flinch. She had never seen Marianne like this before. Marianne lifted her hands, which were already glowing with faith magic. “Here, let me heal you!”
Her hands hovered over the bleeding gash on Leonie’s arm. Leonie just watched, bewildered, as Marianne’s brow furrowed with concentration. After almost a full week of not talking, this was how the awkward avoidance was ending?
“I saw it happen,” Marianne whispered hoarsely after a moment, answering Leonie’s next question. “I saw it, and I… I got really scared. I tried to reach you, but—”
“Don’t worry, I know how battles are. You go one way, and then are swept up the other way the next moment.” Leonie’s voice was soft with understanding. In truth, Leonie had been terrified too. The bandit whose javelin had shredded her arm was originally aiming at Marianne until Leonie rode into the way and interfered.
At Leonie’s lighthearted comment, Marianne bit her lip. The concentration continued, the wound slowly closing until only the dried blood remained, Leonie’s sun-kissed skin smooth once more. Leonie smiled, patting down her torn sleeve as she lowered her arm.
“Good as new! Thank you, Marianne,” Leonie said, giving her a thumbs-up. But Marianne’s concern wasn’t yet alleviated.
“You don’t need to thank me,” she said quietly. “Especially… especially after how I’ve been.”
“I’m just glad you’re talking to me now,” Leonie replied quickly, before Marianne had a chance to slip away. “I’ve… I’ve missed you.” Moving before she could think, Leonie reached out and grabbed Marianne’s hand, her palm still warm from the healing magic. She gave it a reassuring squeeze. “If you think I’m mad at you or upset with you about something, I’m not. I promise. Can we… go back to being on speaking terms again?”
Slowly, Marianne’s fingers curled around hers. If she was going to pull away, she made no sign of it. Instead, she just slowly nodded.
“I’m sorry… I just… it was me, not you.” Marianne flushed. “It’s complicated, but I just… I’ve been trying to find the right way to say something to you.”
“Like I said, it’s all good,” Leonie said, offering smile. “Funny that you say that, there’s been something I was hoping to ask you too.”
Leonie didn’t miss the faint blush on her cheeks. At least she was getting better at noticing things like that.
“Oh?” Marianne looked up. “What’s that?”
Excitement bubbled up within Leonie. She caught sight of a familiar spot during the group’s travel, one not far off from where their camp was set up now. One that wasn’t only special to her, at least she hoped so. It gave her a great idea for an opportunity to make a memory with Marianne if she was willing to go along with it. She had been hoping for the chance to ask her and now she had it.
“I wanted to show you something,” Leonie said. Her heart pounded in her chest. She had to actively keep her cool. Not even battle made her this nervous. What was up with that? “Can I borrow you for a bit?”
She could see the curiosity bloom in Marianne’s warm brown eyes. Every second between Leonie’s question and Marianne’s answer was agony, even though the seconds were few.
“Of course… where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise,” Leonie said, winking. Getting another shy smile out of Marianne (score!). “But we need a certain someone to take us there.”
~
Luckily, Dorte was happy to take both of the girls to where Leonie wanted to go. It took very little convincing on Marianne’s part. They brought his saddle blanket, but left the rest of his tack behind. As a child, Leonie spent many a day riding through the grasslands here, usually without a halter or a saddle. She wanted not only to hark back to those days, but to share them with Marianne.
“I used to ride bareback all the time as a child,” Leonie said, entwining her fingers to give Marianne a boost onto Dorte. Marianne grabbed Dorte by the mane and stepped onto Leonie’s hands before hoisting herself up. “And I’d spend hours riding all over the region. There was always so much to see.”
“That’s so sweet,” Marianne said, smiling. She offered her hand to Leonie and helped pull her up so that Leonie could sit upfront. “My home is surrounded by dense forests, so I can’t ride out too far, but there were some trails I could ride through back when I was young.”
“That’s great! I’d love to see them someday,” Leonie said.
Marianne’s smile grew. “I’d love to show you.”
“After the war?”
“After the war.”
It was a promise.
Leonie fisted her hands in Dorte’s mane at the base of his neck and looked back at her shoulder at Marianne. “Hold on tight!”
Marianne hesitated for a moment. In the next, her arms slowly encircled Leonie’s waist, her gentle hands clasping above her stomach. She leaned against her, her weight warm against Leonie’s back. Leonie was suddenly glad that she was facing forward. With a gentle butt of her heels, Dorte started trotting on, and Leonie felt Marianne’s arms tighten around her.
If all went well today, maybe they could do this more often.
Leonie took her time steering Dorte, refraining from going too fast not only to risk them slipping off but to simply enjoy the ride for what it was. The grasslands in the area were vast, green and seemingly endless, stretching far below an even deeper and vaster sky. She got nostalgic over the feeling of freedom that welled up in her chest when out riding like this. Like it was just her, her horse, and an unending realm of nature. Out here she could push the thoughts of war to the far reaches of her mind.
Taking a peek over her shoulder again, Marianne was resting her cheek on Leonie’s shoulder, gazing dreamily into the distance. It was enough for Leonie to tell that she was enjoying the ride and the view just as much as she was.
The slight dips and hills hadn’t changed since Leonie was last year, and she found it easier than she expected to find where she wanted to bring Marianne. Once the dots of indigo in the green grass started to pop up, Leonie gave Dorte another nudge of encouragement to go just a bit faster now that her destination was in sight. With the increase in speed, Marianne lifted her head to see, and a small gasp graced Leonie’s ear.
Closer and closer, thousands of deep indigo flowers spread out from east to west before their eyes, like a tidal wave cresting the shore of a beach. The flowers themselves were a thing of beauty, but not the only reason why Leonie wanted to bring Marianne to see them. She tugged on Dorte’s mane, slowing him to a walk now as they moved from a sea of green to a sea of dark blue.
“What do you think?” Leonie asked, looking back. “Beautiful, huh?”
Marianne could only nod, in awe of the sight. She looked on and on and on, absorbing a sight so picturesque painters would struggle to capture it. When they were in the thick of it, Leonie halted Dorte and patted his neck in thanks before sliding off of his back. She reached up, her heart pitter-pattering as she held Marianne by the waist, the other woman grabbing her shoulders in turn to help her dismount without trouble too.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Marianne said breathlessly, stepping further and taking it all in. “I never thought I’d… well…” Marianne turned around, smiling at Leonie. “I’m just… really happy right now.” The sight of Marianne standing in the midst of all these beautiful flowers, her own pastel blue tones popping out against the indigo, was enough to take Leonie’s breath away. The young merc forgot herself, not registering anything else around her even as Marianne turned away again. How could anyone not fall in love with Marianne? No flower in the world was comparable to her.
“Do you recognize them?” Leonie asked, walking forward to stand next to her. Marianne blinked curiously. It seemed she hadn’t caught on to Leonie’s plan yet. Intrigued now, she descended to kneel amongst the flowers, carefully lifting a bloom between two fingers to inspect it. Leonie crouched next to her, watching her brow furrow in thought as she tried to figure it out. It took about a minute of thinking before Marianne perked up, cluing in.
“The flowers at the greenhouse!”
Leonie laughed. “That’s right! I told you I’d show you the flowers here someday, right?”
Marianne nodded, still cradling the small flower between her fingers. “That seems like such a lifetime ago now… and I always thought… well…” Marianne giggled shyly behind her hand.
“What? What’s so funny?”
“I thought you’d have brought everyone to see them, not just me,” Marianne said. “I didn’t expect it to be just the two of us.”
“Yeah…” Kneeling in the flowers, Leonie wiping her hands on her legs. Her palms were getting sweaty in her gloves. She felt her heart pounding in her chest. “I like to think of that day in the greenhouse as the time we became real friends.”
Marianne nodded in agreement, letting go of the flower as she gave Leonie her full attention.
“That’s why, when we got here, and I remembered where the flowers were… I thought maybe seeing this place could mark the day we became something more.”
The words came out in a steady exhale, but Leonie had never been more nervous in her life admitting that. She kept her chin up, but her fingers dug into the leather of her boots. She could only watch quietly as Marianne clued into what she meant, her eyes becoming as wide as saucers, her hands flying up to cover her mouth.
“Something… more…?” Marianne repeated slowly, weighing the words and their meaning.
“Yeah…” It took all of Leonie’s resolve to keep her cool. To emphasize her intent, she reached out, gently taking hold of Marianne’s hold, and giving it a squeeze. “You and me?”
Marianne’s lips parted in shock, her hand fiercely squeezing Leonie’s fingers as her other hand slapped over her blushing face. Leonie laughed at first, but when Marianne’s shoulders started shaking, she quickly noticed that something was amiss and lurched forward.
“Marianne?!” Leonie reached up, pulling the other hand from the girl’s face. Sure enough, tears dripped down Marianne’s face, her lips pinching together as she stifled sobs. Leonie panicked. She thought this was going to be a happy moment. She didn’t mean to make her cry! “Oh goddess, I’m sorry Marianne, I—”
“I-it’s okay!!” Marianne sobbed, hastily wiping her face with the edge of her sleeve. “I just… I didn’t think you’d… that day in the stables, I thought you heard me speaking with Hilda, and then…” Another sob racked her chest. Leonie scooted forward so that she could sit right next to her, gently rubbing her back. “I had been trying so hard, but after that I just became so afraid… even after everything Hilda said to me, I couldn’t imagine why you’d want to be with me anymore.”
“Marianne…” Leonie continued to sooth her. Leonie didn’t learn about Marianne’s crest until the Golden Deer had helped Marianne fight the Wandering Beast. Back then it had explained so much about her. The wariness of strangers. The dark shadows under her eyes. The anxious demeanor and self-deprecation. Thinking she was a burden to everyone around her… Leonie couldn’t believe she had known Marianne for so long without knowing how deep her troubles ran. Marianne could have given up long, long ago. But she didn’t. But Leonie had since then admired her for the unbelievable inner strength needed to endure all of that.
“I never once hated you through all that,” Leonie whispered as Marianne sniffed, calming down. “I could never hate you. You’re a beautiful person, and you’ve always been a wonderful friend to me. I wouldn’t give up what I have with you for anything. That’s why I was trying so hard to reach out to you.”
After another sniffle, Marianne let out a sheepish hiccup of a giggle. “Leonie… you’re always so good to me. You’ve always meant a lot to me too. Of course you wouldn’t be upset. I should have realized it sooner, but I…” One last wipe of the eyes followed by a wobbly smile. “I… I feel kind of silly about it now.”
“Don’t you worry about feeling silly,” Leonie said. “I’m just as guilty when it comes to not picking up on things. I think Hilda’s words were that I had a thick skull?”
Marianne sheepishly covered her mouth. “Maybe I’ll ask her to apologize for that…”
“It’s okay. She’s not exactly wrong. I really should have been thanking you and not the goddess when the mess hall was putting my favourite food on the menu,” Leonie teased. The two girls laughed together where they sat amongst the flowers, Dorte grazing nearby with an ear flicked in their direction.
Seeing Marianne laugh with her like this brought a lightness to Leonie’s chest unlike anything she ever felt. One look at Marianne’s smile and she thought she could walk on air, soar through the clouds.
Leonie reached down amongst the flowers, pinching a stem between her fingers and plucking it from the grass. She turned to Marianne and placed it gently in her thick braid of hair, pinning it between two plaits. Marianne clasped her hands over her chest, blushing, and Leonie’s own love for her swelled at the sight.
Not being able to help herself, Leonie reached over and hugged Marianne, pulling the other woman down to lie in the flowers with her, indigo petals framing the face of the most beautiful person in Leonie’s life. Marianne giggled again, wrapping an arm around Leonie’s waist and leaning her head on her shoulder.
“Let’s face the future together,” Leonie whispered, her lips caressing the crown of Marianne’s head.
Marianne beamed. “With you, I’ll face anything.”