Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s a shared opinion of many that over-thinking is a curse, a burden- an annoying, grating voice that seems to always emerge hour after hour- day after day.
But Neteyam embraces it, to its core, to its entirety. He does not know what he would do without the constant web of thoughts twisting in his brain.
In the early, beautifully quiet hours of the morning when he is kept awake by seemingly nothing- Neteyam crosses his legs, looks out the window and thinks.

There is truly hardly anything better.

He wonders about his next test, if the hours he put in revising and reviewing are enough to keep his grade up, if he’s been attending archery enough, if he should finally redo his braids- add a new feather, a new bead.

Sometimes, the thoughts get deeper, they sting a little more and his eyes start to glaze over.

Neteyam wonders if he will ever feel real purpose, if slaving day and night for his father’s approval is even worth it, when every accomplishment is brushed away when something so small, so insignificant goes wrong.

Neteyam wonders if he could have a real understanding with his siblings just as they have with each other. Lo’ak and Kiri’s connection runs deep and Neteyam is incredibly jealous, he wishes and prays to Eywa, to the Great Mother to open his eyes so that he can learn be a friend as well as a protector for his siblings.

He feels hollow, Neteyam feels like his soul has been aching since the day of his first breath. No matter what he does, the laughs, smiles, and numerous awards for his achievement-
Neteyam is numb, so numb it scares him.

He is so tired it’s unbelievable how he gets anything done.

He wishes someone would notice, would take the time to realize that he is as fragile as intricately designed china cups.

Neteyam misses his mother. He misses her embrace and her comforting words and their silent time spent together,
Neteyam feels as if his mother does not have time for him now.

He will not complain, there is no need, no point, no outcome when Neteyam voices his opinions, his worries- All Neteyam feels he is good for is to follow orders, look after his siblings, gain a trophy, a medal, a certificate.

That is it. That is all Neteyam feels he can chalk himself up to.

But, Neteyam is always surrounded. Whether it is by his family, or friends, or his beautiful grandma- so in theory, Neteyam is in fact not lonely.

Emotional loneliness is very different, Neteyam feel as if telling anyone the way he feels- or the way he doesn’t feel will impose bigger questions, bigger burdens complications he can’t have the time for.

So Neteyam lies.

He is so meticulous about the way he acts so no one will see the cracks that line his very being.

Neteyam is a dam waiting to burst.

He hopes that when his emotions finally overpower him, it will not be in the presence of others.

Neteyam does not think he can stomach sympathy.

Sympathy from others does not sit well with Neteyam. When tuk or kiri hug him after hearing their father scream and put his hands on Neteyam. He cannot stand needing help, because when he comes to ask for more it will be a problem.

Neteyam wishes he was carefree, that he wasn't always worrying and sad and angry

But he's not.

There is not much you can do to change that, sometimes Neteyam himself does not want to change.

When there is no one around, the thoughts are as comforting as the words of another.

Chapter Text

Your hair is a reflection of yourself.

This has always stuck with Neteyam, one of the main reasons that he takes such good care of his hair.

Normally Neteyam leaves his hair in braids or twists- that have recently grown past his shoulder blades.
(He is very proud of his hair growth.)

Today-Neteyam feels as if he needs a change, something new that makes him feel fresh and not so contained, so strict.

He wants to feel more like himself.

So, he’s sat cross-legged in the middle of his bed, a pillow plush at his back so it isn’t aching while he runs his fingers through the twists at the back at his head.
Neteyam always starts from the back, no matter how long or short his hair is, and it's just become a habit.

If anything, doing his hair is Neteyam’s very much needed downtime. He can be quiet, sit there in uninterrupted silence, or listen to one of his many playlists (today he decided on the latter)
He’s so so so tired.

And the annoying thing is he doesn’t know why, its making him space out and forget everything and fall asleep on any solid surface. (The stairs have become his permanent residence.)

His normal routine is very simple and very easy.

He would wake up at five, get ready for school, do a simple workout, eat breakfast,and then fill in the time till he had to do his brotherly duties.

Wake up all the siblings in order: Lo’ak, Kiri, Tuk then make sure everyone eats, then make sure everyone has all their stuff and then make sure everyone gets to school on time-

Then he rushes to first period.

Neteyam has a system, a schedule and he follows it properly, to the actual and physical T,- it’s the one and only thing his mom will embrace him for, what sir Dad will tell him he’s done well for.
But all these little things had been going wrong, messing up - and messing him up in the process.

First, he was waking up later- four hours used to be more than enough for him but now, he was sleeping minutes past his alarm, waking up late, waking everyone else up late- everything was snowballing into a giant mess and to add onto that- no one had realised, and no one helped. Because he wakes up late, so does Lo’ak and Kiri and Tuk which means no one is ready, and everyone is frantic ,and Neteyam was (and still is) slowly losing the tight clutches he’s been able to reign over his sanity for what seems like forever.

He was late to every single first period on the last week of school before summer started.

Fortunately, the teachers understood and they knew of all the work Neteyam put in to everything and anything he could at school (Thank You Eywa) but he knows that it won’t keep sliding past just because he’s a good (exceptionally good) student.

Obviously, Neteyam knows its summer now so he can cut himself some slack- but its ending soon and Neteyam doesn’t know if he can go back to that disorientating lifestyle for 190 school days.

Getting into his head about all the problems he seems to has makes time pass weirdly fast, because now Neteyam’s on his last twist.

How long has it even been?

Legs aching and racking in the most uncomfortable places, Neteyam gets up- his balance all over the place, but no mind. He shakes his duvet off- cleaning that is something else he needs to add to his list of things to do.

“Where’s my phone gone….” Neteyam doesn’t know why he’s whispering, why he’s so quiet but sums it up to the fact that he doesn’t want to shatter this tranquillity he’s crafted so meticulously.
It’s finally found, wedged between the multitude of pillows, blankets and plush figures on the far left of his bed- with many unread messages- all from one person,

Mayu.

Mayuyu: i don’t know anyone else who can’t answer their phone for a whole day what are you even doing???

Mayuyu: there’s a party tmrw, you know you’re coming with me right?

Mayuyu: i have our outfits planned out!

Neteyam lets out an amused huff. Mayu- his shining ball of starlight who he can’t help but love with every millimetre of soul- the friend that’s stuck through him through everything so far- the girl he’ll always be so irrevocably grateful for- she’s seen him cry, cry and cry some more and hugged him every single time without fail.

Mayu understands him, even though he knows he’s so complex and difficult and closed off- she gets him- and he gets her.

So who is he to deny anything she says?

Me: taking out my hair and spacing out, vv sorry ☹

Mayuyu: don’t worry ill forgive you if you come to this party ofcofc

Me: my only reason of not wanting to go is in very scared about what outfit you picked out

Me: do not have me looking like some bootleg zookeeper

Mayuyu: that’s

Mayuyu: oddly specific.. guess you’ll have to find out when you come over!! LY

Me: love you too <3

Gosh, agreeing to anything Mayu wants comes to him as easy as breathing.

Neteyam is an introvert, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t one to go out- especially with mayu- over summer he’d been to a few, and cancelled on about twice the amount of those he went to- but some of the crowds he would rather not be squished in-between.

The parties he and Mayu go to are always great- everyone’s dancing- really dancing leaving big cicles and the music set is always let out a day before- leaving people to create their own little performances just for fun.

It’s so fun and Neteyam loves indulging in those kind of parties where the buzz isn’t the alcohol but rather the frenzy of moving limbs and excited hollers.

Another thing, while Neteyam is still pondering on the mess Mayu is going to try and get him dressed up in- is that lately, Neteyam has been able to go anywhere lately and that’s saying something because normally the excuses are- ‘He can’t go out because he has to look after Tuk’, ‘he went out last month’,’ Lo’ak and Kiri need chaperones and both mom and dad are going so he has to stay home-‘

Neteyam barely went out this summer and it’s not like he’s complaining he just wishes he had a choice on whether he leaves the house or not- like everyone else does (even Tuk, what is up with that?)

Neteyam sighs, running his hands through his now unrestrained curls, rushing down the stairs as he always does an unconscious habit he has seemed to grow into since becoming an older brother, a protector.

Neteyam loves his house; even though sometimes it feels so empty, and makes him feel like he’s crumbling in the loneliness everyone (not on purpose of course) leaves him in.

The living room, the kitchen, the hallway with all the pictures the back garden that stretches on forever so that when it comes to sunset it’s so very beautiful.
He loves it here, he really, really does- and he knows they’ll never leave.

Neteyam is making his way to the kitchen because he knows that’s where both his parents are most times on days like this, murmuring soft conversations that everyone’s away from, when his name is called from the living room.

“Teyam, are you down here?” It’s his mom. She has such a soft but strong voice it travels straight to him, and even through him sometimes- He loves it, he loves how strong and beautiful his mom is and how hard she used to vouches and tries for him.

“Yes mama?” He says as he turns and walks into his living room, subtly bowing his head at his dad, who’s sitting right next to her as they seem to have forever shared the same space and bubble and air and Neteyam loves that for them- he really loves that for them.

Now they’re sharing a look, like Neteyam’s done something wrong and his heart almost drops, he almost starts shaking before his dad lets out a sigh and says-
“Me and your mom has been thinking about it for a while, and y’know decided that it'd be best if we move”

What?

Where- How?

When did they come to this conclusion?

Neteyam hopes his resting face is immaculate right now because he is baffled on that knife-sharp turn this conversation started off with.

He feels his throat clog up and his heart fully drops this time.

“What? - wait, sorry Sir What do you mean we’re moving/ To where? Is this-“

He has to take a deep breath before he does something or says something he regrets and a mark he’ll resent even more.
“Is this not enough? Are we not living well here?”

Neteyam knows there’s a 90% chance he looks distraught right now, but how could he not?

He came down to here to ask permission to go to a party and maybe even use his dads car since he’s been nice to him all summer- not for his whole life to start crumbling around the edges because his parents have decided that the best route for them now is to uproot their life here, their connections, their friends, their family their life-

His friends, his school life, archery, dance all the people he’s made plans with for years to come in their forest surrounded city-

Mayu-
Oh my dear Eywa,
Mayu.

How will he even break this to her? That they won’t graduate together, they won’t get that job at the cafe together, and they won’t get that apartment they’ve been looking at since they got into one of their final years at school.

“The best decision Sir? What’s wrong with us here and now?” Neteyam is holding back a heavy sigh and instead runs his hands through his hair, so so so confused.

“Well- I’ve gotten a job offer, and there are still so many options for your siblings, Lo’ak can still get into his sports there, and you know how keen Kiri is on nature, don’t you?”

Oh.

So when they were making this life changing decision, had all those talks in the dead of night when Neteyam was slumped over his desk listening-

He wasn’t thought about? What he would get up to?

How he would feel about this?

What?

Well at this point, Neteyam better soak up all the time he has left here.

“Oh okay yeah I get it, well I wanted to ask if I could go out tomorrow?... it’s with Mayu and she invited me.” He says the sigh he’s been holding in for so long slowly leaving him.

Dad gives him that look. That look he gives Neteyam when he’s trying to subliminally tell him that he’s pushing his luck.

“You know you’ve been going out a lot right? Over the summer”

“I do, Sir.”

Long sigh.

“Well, you can go- because of the obvious circumstances, but when we move I’m going to need you to buckle down to help me and your mom, and your sibling’s right? You can’t just do something and expect to leave it at that right? You know that.”

Fuck this.

It’s the only thought going through his head right now.

Fuck this.
Fuck you.
Fuck everything.

Really, He doesn’t know why he didn’t expect this.

Right.

Because there’s always a catch- always a consequence, always a hidden fine print when it comes to doing virtually anything he wants to do.

“Of course Sir.”

“Good man, you can go now” His dads head jerks to the direction of the door and Neteyam nods.

“Thank you Teyam.”

He lets out a hum of acknowledgement before disappearing behind the door and-

His steps have never felt this unstable- he’s never felt this unstable on what he’s going to do going forward.

Neteyam is utterly and truly lost and quite frankly, he hates this feeling.

Hates the invisible hand clenching around his throat and making it disgustingly hard to breathe.

What is he going to do?

He feels as if he’s going to drown in this sea, this feeling of helplessness- he’s losing consciousness and sense.

Gosh.

Neteyam doesn’t know how long he’ll be able to go on with this.

Chapter Text

It’s been maybe (?) two days since Mayu told him about the upcoming party and two days since-

Two days since his dad dropped that out-of-nowhere bomb on him and now he’s carrying around shattered fragments of it around with him and quite frankly, its chipping away at his soul so slowly.

He doesn’t know what to do and he’s confused on as to why he’s been given this burden of knowing. Kiri, Lo’ak, Tuk- they don’t know a thing, and they’re still living their life, going to school clubs and going out with friends while he’s still so greatful that they’ll have time to enjoy summer to the fullest before moving their life far, far away, he’s trying to figure out how to cancel plans he’s been building up to since first year of high school, have people in school take over roles he previously was looking forward to.

Not anymore.                                                 

Because life’s moving on and he’s got to move with it, as fast as he can.

As always, Neteyam’s been doing a lot of thinking, a lot of pondering and such.

He’s been wondering about their new life. Where they’re actually going, what they’ll actually do- maybe he can become a new person there…

That’s what he’s been thinking about the most.

If he can go there and be free, do everything he’s always wished of doing and more- smile every day and mean it. A real non-practiced smile on his face, where he’s happy, nothing in his mind but pure healthy dopamine.

Where he’s so so so happy because that’s all he’s ever wanted.

When he breaks his ribs and polishes them off to fix someone else hoping that they will do the same back and they never do- that devotion is what he wants as well. He’s disgustingly desperate for obsession.

And really, Neteyam can’t blame himself because he’s never had the space to love anyway. It isn’t as embarrassing because that doesn’t matter, as much as it’s really sad.

He’s seventeen,

Sure his life hasn’t really started, but his teenage years are almost over and they were filled with nothing but trying to be better and better for anyone and-

Neteyam’s knows that he longs.

For something, for someone for just an ounce of anything that shows that absolutely everything that he gives will be given back in fucking abundance

That’s all he wants- and right now he’s so greatful that he has anything anyway. He loves Mayu, loves how close they are- but at the same time knows there things he can’t tell her yet and things he thinks he’ll never tell her.

About his dad, about his siblings about how he feels and everything he doesn’t feel-

It’s tough; it’s so tough to be real with her more than he already is because he doesn’t want her to see him,

Doesn’t want her to see him like he really is- and lose what they have now.

He’s safe and happy.

That should be all that matters.

But right now that’s not enough and he can’t seem to figure out why.

////

Today’s the day and Neteyam still hasn’t told Mayu about him leaving and its raging a war on his mind.

Yes, he so desperately wants to tell her but how? How will he go about telling his best friend of years who he thought he was going to grow up  with, buy that apartment with and just always have her be his anchor, his only constant in his life forever? How will he deal with telling her that none of that will ever be true?

Yes she deserves to know, but he doesn’t want their time together to be shaped by him leaving at the end of the summer

He just wants them to live and fun.

And maybe telling her that he’s moving across literal states will hinder that.

So he’s here now. Staring at his clothes (trust, they’re staring right back at him)

When it comes to parties, him and Mayu always try to match as closely as they can, even though they have such different styles- colours, jewellery stuff like that is what they normally go for- but knowing that this is the last party Mayu and him will go to with each other for a long time (maybe forever?) he definitely wants to do a little more.

Neteyam:  what colours are u wearing???

Mayu: is this the day that we finally twin from top to bottom STOP, but yes we’re gonna do grey top and green bottoms!

Green and grey? It’s a cute colour combo for sure, they’re both some of his favourite colours but..

Neteyam: is this zookeeper cosplay???

Mayu: bro do u wanna match or not?

Neteyam: Eywa ok

All Neteyam can do is let out a laugh, and then it slowly turns into a quiet huff when he realises that he has to actually wear this outfit through his front door.

For a long time, Neteyam is sure that the way he dresses sometimes is one of his biggest problems. Well, Neteyam’s never really had.. Phases

Like Kiri and Lo’ak who’ve had wardrobe makeovers every year since they were tweens, but he’s sure his problem is that he’s always known?

Yes -he wants to wear sweatshirts, and crop tops and deep cut blouses and everything in between and low rise jeans, and his moms old boots and he doesn’t mind wearing any makeup- honestly that must be why everyone is uncomfortable?  With him.

He can remember the first time it happened with Kiri, and how it shook him:

The memory is so vivid Neteyam feels as if he could taste what he had for lunch that afternoon.

He was going up the stairs and dropping off everyone’s laundry inside their rooms which is what he does every week that it’s his responsibility before to do the laundry.

Before he gets to Kiri’s room he knocks, just as he always does and waits till he hears a “come in!” before his hand even reaches to twist the door knob.

He puts her fresh laundry down on her desk, while simultaneously wondering why it’s so cluttered when he remembers having to help her clean it yesterday

(her hoarder tendencies are atrocious)

“Teyam?”

Neteyam turns his head round and meets Kiri’s confused but also, for some reason,

Apprehensive.. eyes?

“Who’s top are you wearing?”

Oh?

“Oh! It’s one of moms old ones that I found in the back of the closet, I can’t believe that she hoards like you by the way, isn’t it pretty cute?” He does a full turn so that Kiri can see it properly.

 It’s a red sweater kind of blouse thing- defiantly from ages ago, and it’s such a deep red that Neteyam couldn’t help but to ask for it ( his Mom had said yes to him, but now Neteyam realizes that she also had this look on her face- go figure?)

“Yeah its super nice, for sure.”

“ I know it is! But why do you still have that look on your face?”

Kiri’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but Neteyam doesn’t even know why she thought he wouldn’t be able to tell what her expression would imply, when he’s been reading her face since she was three and decided that she didn’t want to talk as much as she should.

“Do you not like it? I mean, maybe the red is a bit much but isn’t it still a little cute?” Neteyam ask, eyebrows furrowing in confusion

Is it ugly? He’s sure it isn’t.

Kiri sighs.

“No, Teyam its fine you’re just.. Eccentric? Its cute tho for sure”  The she turns around and plugs her earphones back into her ears

Woah.

Neteyam wouldn’t class himself as overachieving in anything: overachiever for sure, but even then that’s pretty normal too?

Neteyam remembers when he realized- that it’s him.

Every time he goes out with Mayu, which isn’t much, he’s always asks him twice- are you sure you want to wear that?

He knows he’s never told his parents, or even his siblings that he might be romantically interested I boys- but Eywa does he think they know sometimes.

Neteyam swears he’s tried to tone it down, talk less about the things he likes, wears the clothes he likes less. But Neteyam knows this is his last ever party here.

So, he wants to be himself for a bit,

Just a little bit.

Because it took him a long ass fucking time to be able to appreciate himself.

       ///

 Neteyam describing himself as ‘looking good’ right now would be an understatement

He feels (and looks) attractive.

His hair isn’t in twists- so he’s manoeuvred half of his ‘fro up and left the rest down, a green flannel hangs from his shoulder (he’s doing his best to fit into the mayu-inflicted dress code) covering the deep v-slash of the grey top he literally dove into his wardrobe for.

The cargo pants rested low on hips, his belly button piercing shining in the moonlight. Neteyam had run out before his father could even catch a look at him, opting for peace.

‘Tey! Get in its cold!’ Mayu shouts from her car, not even pausing to actually turn it off and park it (this is her elaborate ruse to get him to pay for her gas) and to talk to his parents (which he’s more than grateful for)

He jogs over, jumping in and immediately getting smothered by a hug.

Oh Mayu he thinks how will I ever leave her?

The interior of Mayu’s car has always been nice, soft plush leather sheets, the dashboard filled with a multitude of trinkets; a picture of him and her last summer hanging off her mirror- it leads Neteyam to the same thought once again

How will he pack up and move half way across the country?

“We’re gonna have so much fun!” Mayu squeals, the bracelets on her arms shaking, mirroring her glee.

Her hair is flowing down her back (Neteyam will never regret bullying her to grow it out) , highlighter on her nose shimmering in the stop light as she looks over- her gloss is always perfect never too runny or anything like that- too good.

“Yeah ‘m excited” Neteyam says bashfully. It took a lot to get him out here, happy and ready to actually have normal teenager fun.

Neteyam knows they’re close when he can hear muffled (but still pounding) music, Mayu takes a right and-

Here they are.

Cars are parked haphazardly, and some people are still in their cars, windows rolled down and hoods non-existent, chatting and bouncing to the music.

Mayu and him both jump out, walking up to the door of this frankly- fucking massive house.

“Who do you even know that lives in this place?” Neteyam practically shouts as they pass slinking bodies their ears getting accustomed to the bass of the music

Mayu just laughs, her grip around his wrist tighter as they travel to the kitchen, bee lining to the marble counter in the middle for some drinks.

Nor Mayu or him drink (because it’s not very legal), so they opt for the juices and mayu goes for a non alcoholic cider ‘

He feels good, the music is comforting in a way that Neteyam can’t  properly articulate and he’s enjoying himself!

For once in this absolute wreck of a summer.

People around them are dancing and Neteyam wants to dance too- it’s nice to lose yourself in something fun and harmless.

Something with no bad consequences.

Another track has already started and Mayu squeals, her favourite song has come on (the squealing is a regular whenever they go out) and suddenly, they’re both in the section of the house where everyone’s moving and laughing.

Mayu swings them around, hips moving and smiles on their faces as they move to the rhythm of the music. Mayu starts singing the lyrics to him and Neteyam can’t help but do the exact same right back, body’s rolling in sync.

Next thing he knows, through the corner of his eye, he sees someone slinking up to Mayu and him, a boy.

He’s pretty, and is definitely eyeing up Mayu- Neteyam as the perfect wingman, subtly moves his eyes to the side, and mayu tracks them, noticing the guy behind them.

“Hey” The guy starts, having to raise his voice above the music, subtly leaning more into Mayu space, and her moving closer to him.

She smiles encouragingly and the smile on her face seemingly spurs him with some (much-needed) confidence

Neteyam tunes out of the rest of the conversation as it’s not really his business, but soon the guy and Mayu are laughing and he knows they’re gonna move to some other part of the party venue

He pats her elbow before she can even doubt that he might run into trouble by himself and she’s off eyes twinkling and a giggle erupting from her mouth after something the boy says.

Neteyam’s moving to the music solo now, and gained a compliment from a girl , appreciating his piercing, she asked for pointers since she wanted to get one and they enjoy dancing and talking for a while, (Neteyam unfortunately cannot stop rambling) . Neteyam couldn’t help but to ask for her name (Neyira) and they talk a bit more, mostly about archery as he finds she also does archery (but only for fun? He wishes.)

  He feels eye’s on him, but brushes them off, it’s bound to happen at any party anyway.

(Or so he thought)

 There’s a tap on his shoulder (actually, its two taps but who’s counting?) and he has to physically restrain himself from turning too quickly that he snaps his neck.

 And then when he turns-

Good Eywa isn’t he attractive?!

First of all, he has a lot of hair and Neteyam means it because even under the well worn baseball cap it still frames his face (he wonders how long it would take to achieve hair that length)

There’s a flannel on him as well (damn they’re twinning.) and he has really, really broad shoulders and now that Neteyam thinks about it-

“Hey, I saw you from over there” Mr. Mystery Man vaguely moves his head in what Neteyam guesses was the area he was standing in before coming over here “and you know, I just thought maybe I should come over here and talk to you, and here I am” he ends with what Neteyam would call a bashful smile ( a really really cute bashful smile)

“Here you are” Neteyam replies, mostly because he’s too focused trying to figure out how many moles Mr Mystery Man has on his face.

He’s tan, like a very deep tan, and it’s beautiful. He has piercing blue eyes that are honestly a bit intimidating and for a split second Neteyam is convinced that they’re contacts.(he’s now 80% sure they aren’t but….)

Neteyam really isn’t focusing on his surroundings at all , because suddenly they’ve escaped the sea of bodies they were once stuck in and are back outside, cool crisp air that feels great on his once sweating skin.

And he can hardly stop himself before he fully turns his body to Mr. Mystery Man (he hasn’t stopped looking at him since they were inside)

“You’re not from here are you?”

The smile is back.

He’s rubbing his hand on his neck “You noticed?”

Neteyam can’t help but laugh (and unfortunately misses the way Mr. Mystery Man stares right back at him)

‘It’s that accent- I think anyone could tell. Nothing bad though! But what are you doing all the way in the city?” Neteyam inquires

They’ve been walking for long enough that the once booming music has become a comforting thrum in the back of his head, and Neteyam feels he can think clearer.

“Oh m’ just here for holiday, My family just wanted a new experiences I guess”

Mr Mystery Man is staring up the sky, hands in his pockets and Neteyam honest to Eywa just feels like he’s thirsting over this boy a scary amount.

And while Neteyam is on the train of thought wondering why he’s so attractive

He turns around and he says “you know, we’ve missed out one of the key steps in meeting new people. What’s your name city boy?”

Neteyam burst out into a short but shocked laugh because wow, he’s really been calling this boy Mr Mystery Man since they met.

“I’m Neteyam it’s nice to meet you” He smiles as they’re facing each other fully now.

“Likewise, I’m Ao’nung”

Ao’nung.

It rolls off the tongue petty nicely, and it’s a beautiful name.

When he tells Ao’nung that his name is very pretty, he blushes and Neteyam is filled with such an air of accomplishment it’s scary

He doesn’t feel like he’s ever been this forward with anyone (well, there’s never really been anyone to be forward with but that isn’t the point.)

And just as Neteyam thought ‘okay maybe I’m gonna do something crazy but not that crazy and ask for his number-’

His phone rings.

Both Ao’nung and him look down at his pocket, and Neteyam can do nothing but smile apologetically, while he just shakes his head as if telling him to pick up.

 It’s Mayu.

“Hey you okay?” for a split second he’s worried that something’s happened and is 2 seconds from subtly (read; not subtle in the slightest)

 “Yeah I’m good” she lets out a chuckle (she definitely thinks he was freaking out) “are you still inside? You feel ready to go?”

He isn’t ready to go, but it’s already getting late and he doesn’t want a conversation with father.

“Yeah I mean we can leave now, I’ll meet you by the car?”

The call cuts and he looks back up to Ao’nung

 “Well I came with my friend and she’s ready to go, so I’ve gotta get back as well” Neteyam says apologetically.

Ao’nung is quick to speak and curb any worries Neteyam has “no worries, this was really nice. And I’ve got to get back as well.”

He nods, but in Neteyam’s head he’s dying to say something. Having no experience in the relationship sector is holding him back on a different level.

What’s your number? Let’s try to meet up? You’ve got really broad shoulders do you work out????   Those are all plausible (read: stupid) questions he could ask, but Neteyam is a coward, so all he does is smile.

He’s snapped out of his head when he hears Ao’nung say “Hug?” He hasn’t walked too close to him just in case Neteyam says no (why would Neteyam say no?)

“Oh sure!” Neteyam hopes he isn’t shaking.

It’s a quick hug, Ao’nungs hands wrap around his middle and he smells

so nice?!   It’s as if Neteyam’s at the beach or something similar- it’s amazing.

Neteyam obviously has to let go as he isn’t trying to be some creep, he sends off a wave before they have to go their opposite ways.

Mayu’s leaning on the car, her fingers moving quickly on her phone.

“Hey! How’d it go with the boy?” Neteyam asks as soon as they’re strapped in and Mayu’s manoeuvring out of the lot.

She blushes.”It was good, he was so nice, and his name’s Tsu’ti and!” She shakes her phone, the charm glinting in the ambience of the car “I got his number!”

Neteyam laughs “I’m happy for you, do you think you guys will meet up soon?”

Mayu dissolves into chatter, explaining what they talked about and all the reasons she likes this Tsu’ti- Neteyam is listening, but he’s also thinking about him

Ao’nung.

“Were you okay inside though?”Mayu asks him, taking a glance at his face “I still feel a bit bad about just leaving you there”

Neteyam can only laugh.

“Don’t worry Mayu- I had tons of fun.”

///

Neteyam hugs Mayu tight, quietly telling her to get home safe and leaving a kiss on her cheek, shutting the car door as quietly as he can.

He slips into the house, trying to be quiet as possible as unfortunately, both of his parents are light sleepers and he’s not really in the mood to talk to them.

When he finally gets upstairs he quickly shrugs his clothes off and slips into his pyjamas, climbing into bed.

 Staring at the ceiling, he can’t help but to think about Ao’nung again, he’s literally plaguing his mind (in a good way, of course)

He wishes that he asked for his number. This will prably be on his mind for a longgggg time.

But bottom line, he’s thankful that he’s enjoying some of his last days of summer here.

And with Mayu.

Shit.

How is he going to tell her?

Neteyam’s train of thought gets slower and slower until his head is mostly empty, and the only thing he can think about (it’s pathetic he knows), is Ao’nung. Neteyam is almost too sure that he’s never ever seen as beautiful as Ao’nung, and then continued to have such a fun conversation.

He’s definitely sad that he didn’t have enough courage to ask for anything so that they could contact each other- but alas-

It was good while it lasted.

And that was the last thought on Neteyam’s mind before he succumbed to sleep.

///

And on the other side of the city, in a hotel room, Ao’nung goes to sleep, wondering if he’ll ever see the boy with those golden eyes again.

Chapter Text

Hi guys, I know I haven't updated in a while (approximately 407 days.. wow.) but THE AUTHOR CURSE GOT ME. I had written almost four fully fledged chapters for infatuated as well as planned it out till the last chapter, when my laptop shut down and all my files beautifully disappeared, and i was left with nothing but my imagination and the little things that i could remember of the 40k+ words I had wrote. Then my laptop wouldn't turn on no matter how i tried to DIY fix it myself, so i left it to rot on the side of my desk as i was tumultuously thrown into months of exam prep, and then exams (and serious depression lol). Summer has come and gone, and I'm starting school on the next Monday but MARK MY WORDS i have been planning and planning and writing ( the keyboard is on fire) and I'm super excited for you all to ready what infatuated has become (and everything else that's in the works because i love this ship entirely too much)

all my love,
turqio.