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2015-08-18
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your eyes like a shot of whiskey

Summary:

a short story in which liam's worst fear has eyes he wants to drown in.

or, zayn's an optometrist and liam panics when anyone gets near his eyes.

Notes:

title from "intoxicated" by the cab.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

it all started when i was six, honestly liam payne mused to himself as he sat around in the waiting room. it was almost embarrassing, really, how vivid the memory was of the first time he had gone to the optometrist. the nice looking lady with the green eyes (green as grass, liam remembered it all that clearly) had taken out some giant glasses and instructed liam to put them on with his stubby little fingers. after explaining that they would make images on her laminated sheets appear 3D, she had placed a picture of the most terrifyingly detailed giant beetle-thing that liam had ever fucking seen in his lap.

he had screamed, ran out the room and basically cried for 20 minutes before being coaxed out from under the table so he could go home. eighteen years later and he still jumped when doctors reached for their cabinets or got too close to his eyes.

and yet, here he was, practically pushed through the doors by niall because "god damn it liam, you're blind as fuck ya hear?" with a reassuring "try not to cry kiddo".

"liam payne?" the receptionist called, jolting him out of his thoughts. liam stood up in a haze, dream-like, really, and walked over to the counter. i think i'm going to faint, he thought to himself in surprise as his vision blurred. and there he was, almost to the counter. if he could just grab on...

"you alright there pal? white as a sheet, you are," the receptionist said critically. "anyways, no need to get alarmed quite yet, just have some more paperwork for you to fill in."

"... oh."

paperwork, right. liam could manage that. he walked back to his seat and mindlessly filled out the insurance information and his medical history for the third time as his mind drifted in an effort to distract himself from the fact that someone was going to be touching his fucking eye and poking weird instruments into it oh my fucking god... liam sighed under his breath and got up to give the receptionist the paperwork. maybe i could play some music to calm me down, something relaxing... his hands reached for his headphones as he handed off the clipboard, feeling calmer already. a good twenty minutes and chris brown drifting into his ears would do him good.

"great! guess we're ready for you then!" the receptionist beamed as he handed it all over. "harry, you're up!" she called out.

"woah wait, hold-"

"hiiiiii. liam, right? can you cover your left eye for me and read those letters out?" and suddenly liam was standing in front of a chart.

"i um-is this a spoon?"

"yeah, the official tool we're supposed to be using sort of broke... feisty little one." harry winced in memory.

great, two of my irrational fears right in the same building, liam tried to scoff in his head, swallowing back the panic. oh god, he was not going to survive this.

"um, okay so the fourth line reads C-L-V-O-no actually Q..."

"the fourth and you're already having trouble? ah liam, can you try the sixth for me?"

liam tried. honestly, he squinted as hard as he could, but between the panic of holding an eating utensil that someone had put in their mouth and licked all over and oh god is this even washed properly coupled with the fact that he was in a fucking optometrist's office was making liam's head spin. plus, he was pretty sure he was going blind, so.

"no, i don't think so actually. sorry harry."

"that's fine! try the other eye."

so he did.

"now both eyes?"

the examination continued.

- -

"alright liam, we're finished with that," he said after a while. liam sighed in relief. "now sit in this chair right here and put your chin on that- yes right there, that's perfect. forehead here, yes, good," harry started to mutter as he scrambled over to the other side of the table and started messing around with the computer. liam took the moment to panic as he examined the giant white machine he was looking into. alright, so i'm basically about to get my eyes melted out of my skull or something. fine, this is fine. if this is how i go blind, that's fine.

"okay so hold still, keep your eyes open wide, and um, you see that hot air balloon?"

the machine hummed as it started up and yes, liam could now see the hot air balloon. he swallowed nervously.


"yeah."

"okay great, so stare at that and try not to blink too much. i'm just taking some pictures of your eyes here as this zooms in and out of focus."

liam payne never held so fucking still in his entire life. he watched that red balloon till his eyes teared up and then some.

"aaaaand we're done! perfect job payno, go ahead and wait in that office right there. malik will be in soon." liam didn't even ask how harry knew his last name at this point, he just smiled as best as he could and slowly walked into the room.

it took about two minutes for liam to size up the chair.

he stared at it a bit.

stared some more.

and liam's throat went dry. his nerves were running at full speed at this point. the eye doctor guy (like liam could remember his own fucking middle name in this panic, honestly) was about to walk in any minute, and at this point liam felt like bolting.

he thought of the pros: no man or woman's (unsanitary) hands touching his eyes, or any of their torture devices.

and then he thought of the cons: being questioned by the receptionist and harry, probably getting run over by a car speeding by in his haste to leave immediately, getting yelled at by niall and probably going blind before he even hit his 30s.

really, that didn't seem too bad. he's seriously about to run out of the room (probably screaming), but he clenches his fist and swallows his nerves. he was the liam goddamn payne damnit, he was going to pull himself together if it killed him.

"i'm not afraid of you," liam said out loud to the chair, wishing his voice sounded less shaky.

"aw, really? well that's a relief, the chair's always been a bit insecure," a voice from behind him said bemusedly. liam whirled around and his jaw almost dropped in shock. the doctor was, well, beautiful. there was no other way to describe him. the warm chocolate eyes with those gorgeous long lashes framing them calmed liam's heartbeat almost instantly. and that was before examining the rest of him. the fucking cheekbones on that man, christ.

any thoughts of fleeing left liam's mind instantly.

realizing he should probably reply, liam chuckled nervously. his tongue felt like it was glued to the roof of his mouth.

"i was just, um..."

the doctor grinned and little angel choruses went off in liam's head.

"that's alright mate, jade and harry told me about your, um, discomfort if that's what you want to call it, i guess. don't worry liam, i'll take good care of you." liam took a second to mull over the cute "leeyum" that had come out of the dr. malik's mouth, along with how suggestive that last sentence sounded. the optometrist seemed to smirk a bit before pulling himself together.

"alright then liam, so just like, take a seat in the chair if you're done talking to it, and we'll begin?" liam flushed crimson but said nothing as malik rummaged through his drawers, choosing instead to take his seat. he chuckled as he looked up at liam squirming around in the chair.

"relax a little li, promise i won't hurt you. now do me a favor and hold still." zayn came at liam with a small black cylinder thing and liam heaved.

"what is that?"

"harmless little thing, honest. it'll just check the pressure in your eyes. might get tangled up in your lashes a bit, but like, that's all." but liam still didn't look convinced, so zayn held it up to his own eye, then punched the button.

it was over in a second, honestly. if liam had blinked, he would've missed it.

"see? 's nothing, now hold still, yeah?" liam swallowed down a very manly whimper and nodded.

it was hell. way worse than expected oh my god. it felt like the machine had a tiny little fist that extended and punched his eye what the fuck.

"what is that thing?" liam recoiled as zayn went for the other eye.

"a tonometer. can i get your other eye, liam?"

"no i mean, what does it do? is it touching my eye? is that sanitized?! will it damage-

"liam, liam, liam, relax. it's not touching your eye, honest, it's not. just a little puff of air, okay? d'you need a break before we do your other eye?" liam opened his eyes, not realizing they were clenched shut, and zayn's concerned face came into focus.

liam felt horrible.

"no, no i'm fine. just do it quick." zayn hesitated for a moment before placing his left hand on liam's face to grip his chin. the pressure was gentle and his fingers were tiny and oh so soft, oh god.

"let's do it?"

"yeah," liam said quietly, trying to focus on dr. malik's touch instead of the tonometer.

"look into my eyes li, it'll be over soon." liam rolled his eyes, attempting bravado.

"it's like a 1 second burst of air, dr. malik, i'll be fine."

"yeah, okay, so that's why you were so- and okay great, we're done!"

"oh!" liam said brightly. "that wasn't too bad!"

"yeah, the hard part's over, really," zayn smiled as he tapped into his computer. "now you're just reading some letters."

"ugh, never liked reading," liam joked.

"this must be an awful place for you, then," zayn chuckled as he set up his instruments. liam watched in fascination as zayn's nimble fingers toyed with the lenses, long lashes sweeping his cheek as he looked down in utter concentration. he suddenly spun his chair to look at some eyeball scans on his computer, lips moving silently as he muttered numbers to himself before turning back to the lenses. liam could watch him all day.

"mmmm, no, it's not too bad actually," liam murmured as he watched zayn work. his head snapped up in response.

"sorry?"

"oh, no no, keep working. sorry to disturb you, dr. malik," he tacked on hastily. liam was nothing if not polite.

" 's all good, liam. definitely don't mind being disturbed by someone like you," he leered playfully as liam choked. "you can call me zayn by the way, dr. malik makes me feel like i'm 50," he tossed out after a while.

zayn.

it was pretty.

liam shook his head at himself and chuckled.

"aw c'mon zayn, we both know you don't look anywhere near 50."

"still got my devilish good looks, then?" zayn preened. liam laughed louder than he was supposed to, probably, but relief was starting to set in and make him giddy. here he was with an extremely attractive human being (to say the least), and he was pretty sure that the worst of the eye-touching was over. this was okay.

"alright, enough of that. so i'm gonna dim the lights real quick, you stare into this for me."

"yeah, okay." zayn swung out what looked like a giant black paint palette with two eye holes and rolled his chair over to shut the door, even though it was perfectly silent outside. liam tilted his head in a silent question and zayn shrugged in response.

"open doors make me a bit nervous. this helps me concentrate." liam was in no position to call out any irrational anxieties, so he simply nodded and let zayn dim the lights.

"aaaalright liam," zayn drawled out as he wheeled back-woah, much closer than expected. zayn's knee was practically touching liam's, he was so close.

not that liam minded.

"so what line can you read through those lenses?" liam squinted at the letters projected on the wall.

"the fifth? i think it's T-C-L-A?" zayn nodded thoughtfully.

"mmmm, i thought so. see, your vision tests out there with harry didn't turn out too good, but your scans didn't look quite that horrible. were ya that nervous?" liam took a deep breath.

"i don't like spoons," liam mumbled.

"spoons?" zayn giggled quietly, delighted. "my god, you really are a strange one."   

liam was too enamored to be offended.

"well then, let's do it right this time, okay? no big scary silverware here, just take some deep breaths and... there. does this help?" zayn flicked some new lenses over the old ones as his vision cleared up.

"yeah, a lot actually."

"okay great, so... one?" zayn flicked back the old lenses.

"or two?" zayn flicked in the new ones.

"two."

"okay great, so now... three? or four?"

the examination continued, pretty mechanically on zayn's part. he had been doing this for almost 3 years, and this part was pretty routine once you figured out the range.

which was bad, actually, because it left more of his consciousness to obsess over liam's fucking lips. he hadn't exactly noticed them before (zayn was a professional, okay? he was busy doing his job), but now, with the lights dimmed and most of liam's face covered except for his lips, they were all he could focus on. big and soft with the most beautiful shade of dark raspberry pink he had ever seen, and oh god they pouted and stretched so perfectly as liam read out the letters. liam had this devastating habit of biting them or licking them every time he was unsure about a letter or when he asked zayn to switch back the lenses so he could compare them, and zayn was going fucking dizzy with it. he found himself leaning in (subconsciously of course) closer and closer to liam's spit-slick lips, and liam cut off in the middle of his letters with an odd noise in the back of his throat. his fingers gripped his knee as he could practically feel zayn's breath on his face, and the dimmed lights in the room made everything feel electric.

"how d'they feel?" zayn asked lowly. the question was innocent enough (and probably about the lenses) but the way zayn said it... liam had to hold back a shudder.

his hands clenched and unclenched and at this point, liam was honestly two seconds away from pushing away the giant binocular thing and pulling zayn into his lap, glasses be damned, when the door opened and the lights came back on.

"hey zayn, um, sorry to bother you pal, but we're looking through liam's folder and we can't figure out if..." the rest of the technical doctor-speak was lost to liam as zayn pulled away, clearing his throat.

"um," zayn said eloquently. "um, let me see the file?"

"yeah." harry handed it over as zayn's brows furrowed while he absorbed the material.

"you're right i guess, we really can't be sure..."

"so dilate him?" zayn winced in response.

"yeah, i guess we can do that. thanks h!" harry left the room, closing the door behind him and keeping the lights on.

"um," zayn said again, horrified with himself. god, did he not have any self-control? liam probably wasn't even gay oh my god, and if he was, they had met, what, ten minutes ago? he was supposed to be a professional, for fucks sake. this was work, not a club.

liam, thankfully, had other concerns.

"so... what does dilate mean?" was that creeping hysteria in his voice? liam hoped not.

zayn sighed in relief, glad to be asked a question he could answer easily.

"well, you've got diabetes in your family, so you're at a risk for eye disease. and since you haven't been to an optometrist in, wow, 16 years, we'll be widening your pupil so i can take a look inside."

"that sounds painful."

"it's really not," zayn said conversationally, trying to sound as calm and soothing as possible as he rummaged around in his drawers again. "just need to use some eyedrops." he looked up and liam was about as panicked as zayn expected him to be.

"um, what?! no, no no, do we have to? do we really honestly-"

"shhhh sh sh, we'll take it slow, i promise. you need two eyedrops in each eye, so we'll drop one in and wait a bit, then do the others. i don't have any appointments for the next 2 hours li, we've got time." zayn smiled about as genuinely as he could and liam just about combusted.

"i wasn't expecting you to be so..."

"nice?"

"patient."

"lucky for you, i'm quite the gentleman," zayn winked as liam's cheeks flushed a lovely shade of pink.

yeah, definitely gay. (or bisexual at least). thank god.

zayn cleared his throat and looked away to shake up the eyedrops and enter some information onto the computer. he then swiveled back his chair and looked a liam expectantly.

"right then, so can we get the first one in?" liam swallowed heavily in response.

"yeah, i guess? um," liam awkwardly lied back in the chair, fingers playing with the edge of his shirt. "um, yeah. let's do it." he looked up at the ceiling and tried to prepare himself, clenching his shirt as the first drop came down. liam immediately jerked out of the way, and the drop landed somewhere on his cheek.

"sorry, sorry," liam babbled out as zayn chuckled.

"didn't expect you to get it the first time, you donut. hold still, let's try again."

liam chuckled weakly as he prepared for the next drop. the second attempt was no better than the first, with liam squeezing his eye shut just before the cold drop touched his skin. the wet medication tangled his eyelashes and he opened his eyes carefully, huffing in disappointment.

"again," liam said resolutely. the third and fourth drop also missed his eye, and by this point liam wanted to disappear. maybe running out screaming was still an option?

here he was, finally face to face with the most beautiful human being liam had ever seen in his life, and he was being a fucking infant. liam looked up ruefully to find zayn holding back giggles.

"whaaaat?" liam asked, mock offended. zayn laughed openly, shaking his head.

"nothing, nothing babe. you're just cute, that's all." liam couldn't think. which was good, because zayn finally caught up with what he had said full-body flushed. (well, liam thought it was a full-body. he couldn't tell yet, unfortunately.)

"i, um, shit. sorry leeyum, i-" one of zayn's hands went up to rub at his face (mostly his eyes) and liam just about screamed.

"don't think i'm the only cute one around here," liam grinned. zayn peeked through his hands.

"so you admit that you're cute, then? pretty fucking vain of you, mate," zayn said, raising his eyebrows. liam decided to ignore the fact that zayn was still blushing and shrugged.

"hey, modesty gets you nowhere." zayn nodded thoughtfully in assent, fingers playing with the bottle of medication. he glanced down at his hand absently before remembering exactly what he was doing.

"one more try, then?" zayn asked. liam hesitated, furrowing his brow, but nodded. zayn bit back a smile, then hesitated before gently holding liam's eye open with one hand while he dropped the medication. liam made a wounded noise in the back of his throat as the cold liquid touched his actual eyeball, and zayn let go instantly so he could clench his eyes shut, then walked back over to his chair as liam massaged his eyeball.

"not too bad, right?" zayn mustered after a few moments of thinking about the man in the chair. the firm, solid, muscley man who was actually so endearingly cute and how the fuck-  

liam finally opened his eyes and glowered at zayn as miserably as he could.

"three more?"

"sorry mate," zayn said apologetically. "you ready?"

"guess we don't have all day?" liam said weakly. zayn frowned in response.

"we've got time. relax liam, take a couple deep breaths if you need to." liam nodded and relaxed in his chair a bit. the silence should've been uncomfortable, but for some reason... it wasn't. zayn made everything feel warm and cozy, at least from the inside.

on the outside he was fucking freezing, with little goosebumps popping up on his arms. someone had turned the air conditioning on, and liam was almost shivering in his thin white t-shirt.

" 's cold," liam said after a few moments in a way of making conversation. zayn deftly swiveled around and plucked a jacket off the hook behind him.

"you wanna wear this for a bit? i think it'll fit you actually, my sisters bought it, like, seven sizes too big for me." liam smiled, eyes crinkling as he accepted the jacket.

"yeah? tell me about them, what're their names?" liam hadn't missed the fond smile that had settled on his lips as he mentioned his family.

" 've got three of them. doniya, waliyha and safaa, and yeah, they're um. they're pretty cool," he said happily. "they're like, a lot like me, but also pretty different. which is cool, because i'm really protective over them but like, i also get to learn a lot from them and just, yeah." he shrugged, smiling as he looked at the floor. "they're cool," he finished.

liam calmly contemplated setting himself on fire as he smiled at zayn from his chair. this man was an, an enigma (fuck if liam didn't feel cool for using that word). flirty one second and caring the next second and now shy too and why was this his life-

"so um, how often do you see them?"

"pretty often, actually. i chose a flat pretty near to the house, so i drop in and visit whenever i want. get my mum to cook for me and stuff, y'know?"

"why'd you move out at all, then?" liam chuckled.

"wanted to spray paint my walls," zayn grinned. liam laughed in response.

"i'm serious! get to concentrate on my artwork and play my music and smoke without my mum yellin at me to do this or that. 's nice, having your space. also," and his smile turned filthy. "when i've got guests over, we can be as loud as we want."

"um," liam said eloquently. zayn giggled.

"you're fun to mess with. what about you? got any siblings?"

"oh, shut up," liam chuckled, rolling his eyes. "and yeah, two sisters, nicola and ruth. it's just me and my dog now, though. they're back in wolverhampton." zayn nodded sagely.

"wolverhampton, yeah? thought i placed your accent, but i wasn't quite sure. and you've got a dog? sick mate, i love animals." zayn grinned easily.

"yeah, me too," liam smiled right back, his eyes crinkling. zayn's fingers twirled the eyedrop bottle in the comfortable silence that followed and liam sighed regretfully.

"um, so i think i can manage the other drops now," liam finally said. he could listen to zayn talk all day, honestly, but he hated the feeling of taking up his time. zayn nodded, ever the professional, and walked over to liam's chair.

"hey, liam?" zayn bit his lip. "so maybe this time, instead of looking at the ceiling, look at me, yeah?" liam mumbled a "yeah, okay" and focused on zayn's face instead. up close, his eyes were even more gorgeous, and liam was hopelessly lost in them as zayn steadily dropped the medication in.

and it worked. liam's vision out of his left eye yellowed out for a second, and when he blinked, the medication was in.

"you okay? it stings a bit, i know. sorry about that," zayn said apologetically.

"no no, that's fine. can we do the other eye the same way, actually? real quick, just drop 'em in." zayn grinned, pleased.

"this works, then?"

"definitely. i forgot all about the drops, to be honest," liam chuckled. zayn laughed.

"i am now going to hypnotize you, liam. look deep into my eyes-"

"ow!"

"did you forget again?!" liam blinked rapidly as his eyes dilated, medication-tainted tears rolling down his cheeks.

"aw, don't cry li," zayn joked as he handed him a tissue.

"yeah, yeah. shut up and examine my eyes."

"oh, bossy, are we?" zayn smirked as he dimmed the lights again.

"i can if you want me to be," liam said lowly, the dimmed lights giving him confidence. it was his turn to smirk now as zayn swallowed heavily, stumbling a little on his way back from the light switch.

"um, right. okay. um. so like, i'll be moving this light around, okay? can you look straight ahead?" liam recoiled instantly as the bright flashlight turned on, his eyes overly sensitive.

"aren't you supposed to be helping me instead of fucking blinding me?" liam grumbled as he rubbed his eyes. "ugh, okay, okay. fine. let's do it."

"got yourself together quicker that time," zayn noted as he shined the light again. liam mumbled something about willpower as he focused on zayn's eyes. the trick seemed to work last time, so why not again, right?

plus, he was a sucker for those eyelashes.

zayn finished the exam quickly and routinely, muttering under his breath as he squinted at liam's file in the dark.

"you can turn the lights on, y'know."

"might hurt your eyes," zayn said.

"oh." zayn typed a bit on the screen before nodding to himself.

"alright liam! so did you want a prescription for contact lenses or reading glasses?" zayn looked up when liam stayed silent and was met with a withering glare. as if liam would touch his own eyeball like that, much less put something in.

"right, yeah. sorry," zayn chuckled, going back to typing.

"alright li, so we're done! you can go out to harry in the front, he'll give you the prescriptions and talk billing with you, all that boring stuff. sound okay?" liam tried not to pout.

"sounds okay." liam got up from the chair slowly, trying to stall. "see you around?"

"yeah, in about a week? that should be when glasses are ready, so you'll have to come around and pick them up. drop in and say hello, yeah?"

"oh, yeah! so i guess i'll see you then," liam said, relieved. he normally would've sent his secretary down for something as simple as this, but for zayn, liam could definitely make an exception. "bye," zayn waved as liam walked out the door to harry.

the conversation with harry was a blur, to be honest. not to sound stuck-up or anything, but saving money wasn't exactly a priority for liam. he let his insurance take care of whatever it would, and liam easily handed over his credit card to pay for the rest. as the order for his glasses processed, liam's thoughts wandered from zayn to work to zayn again, smiling politely (albeit a bit dazed) when harry was finally finished. he felt a little bad about the empty responses he had given harry during his attempts to make small talk, but in all honesty, the thoughts of zayn's lips were much more interesting. as he waved a bye and walked towards the door, zayn came out of the bathroom while wiping his wet hands vigorously on his thighs. he saw liam and smiled, and liam's eyes crinkled back.

"catch you later, z!" liam waved as he walked out the door. zayn grinned back, tongue pressed to his teeth and all, and liam once again walked through the optometrist's door feeling like he was about to faint.

except now, it was for an entirely different reason.

--- ---

honestly speaking? if it weren't for niall, liam probably wouldn't have noticed till like, next week. he walked into his office still in a daze, way too relieved at the way the appointment had gone to register that he didn't usually smell like spicy cologne and cigarette smoke.

"nice jacket," niall piped as he walked past. liam gasped and stopped in his tracks, ripping off the jacket and holding it gingerly as if it was laced with explosives.

"oh, shit!" liam exclaimed loudly, earning dirty looks from the entire floor. (fuck them though, honestly. liam could have the whole floor fired by this afternoon, if he wanted to.)

no, he was more concerned with the fact that he had walked out with zayn's fucking jacket. the jacket given to him by his goddamn sisters for fucks sake, who made zayn turn into the actual sun when he talked about them.

"oh my god, he's gonna hate me he's gonna hate me he's gonna hate-"

"you're probably right," louis nodded sagely as he walked up.

"me- what?"

"you heard me. you'll probably have to quit your job, fake your death and move to the mountains. maybe niall and i could burn down your house to make your death look more realist- oi, chill mate," louis said irritably, rubbing his arm. liam was beyond apologizing at this point, his head in his hands as he miserably contemplated his options. maybe he would leave the jacket in front of the office in the middle of the night, along with a gift or two. or five.

and then liam would skip town. yeah, that could work. wasn't fiji kinda nice this time of year?

where the fuck was fiji anyways?

niall snapped him out of his thoughts, with good news this time.

"chill mate, it's not that bad. just go return the jacket tomorrow, you'll be fine."

"who's jacket is it anyways?" louis asked around a mouthful of whatever pastry the interns had brought in.

"zayn's," liam sighed.

"my optometrist," he clarified.

"oi, on first name basis, are we?" louis said with an eyebrow wiggle. "don't think i didn't catch you sniffing the jacket as you walked in. was he hot?" niall pulled a face as liam opened his mouth to reply.

"go be obnoxiously gay somewhere else, would you? some of us actually work around here," niall grumbled, shooing them away. liam sighed as he walked back to his office, neatly folding the jacket and placing it on the corner of his desk.

he then opened his laptop and got to work, and tried to ignore the jacket as he typed away.

he was unsuccessful, of course. but he tried.

sort of.

--- ---

liam probably should've had a million and one things on his mind the next morning. he had a meeting that morning at nine, so he had woken up at the ungodly hour of six to shower, shave, get dressed and have time to run through his notes.

well, scratch the notes part. liam was heading the meeting, of course, which gave him the excuse to dress in a tuxedo so nice that he was staring to question whether he was dressed for a meeting or an award show. of course, the tux wasn't even exactly necessary for the meeting, but if liam was planning on sheepishly returning zayn's jacket that morning, he should probably look decent, right?

or that was what he told himself as he checked the opening times of zayn's office three times on his phone, made sure he smelled good (but not too strong) and fixed his hair one last time. liam then drove over to dr. malik's clinic, parking right in front and stepping out neatly with the jacket just as his watch ticked 7:55 a.m.

not that liam was usually this punctual, but something about the structure of it all calmed his nerves a little and made him feel more prepared the morning of this meeting. and okay, if stepping out of his Bentley at exactly the second he wanted to made liam feel a little more badass, he certainly wasn't going to complain. liam had stopped questioning his nerves a long time ago.

as he stepped up to the door, he collided with a warm body who was coming around from the back.

"oof! sorry liam," zayn's rough voice sounded as he blearily looked up.

"you okay?" zayn asked after a second, a bit more concerned. liam's tongue had decided once again that being stuck to the roof of his mouth was a perfectly acceptable way to function, and so he had to resort to making odd noises in the back of his throat. again. zayn had said all of five words, honestly, but it was clear that he hadn't used his voice all morning, and the effect was devastating. and as if that wasn't enough, he just looked so... so soft, with his sleepy smile and his small hands wrapped around a cup of something warm and his messy, unstyled hair falling in his face. liam idly wondered what it would be like to tug on that hair.

his imagination picked up on the thought quickly as his mind was filled with images of pulling on that soft hair and wrecking his voice even further by fucking his mouth with his c-

liam cleared his throat again. and again.

"i'm alright, thanks," he said, giving zayn his most convincing smile. zayn accepted it without hesitation, beaming dopily up at him.

"you look nice," zayn hummed after a sip of his drink, the wind playing with his hair. liam grinned in response, eyes crinkling in thanks as he held the door open for zayn.

"join us for a bit?" zayn asked before walking in, standing there with his head tilted up and slightly to the left. "harry brings us donuts on thursday mornings and we've usually got extra." his accent was rougher in the mornings and liam almost shook his head ruefully. this boy was probably going to kill him.

still, he nodded. "after you?" liam gestured. zayn stumbled in, brushing past liam and almost spilling his cup.

"oops!" liam caught the cup just in time and zayn took it back sheepishly, their fingers brushing. "careful babe," he said softly, watching zayn bite back a smile as his cheeks pinked.

liam took a moment to place zayn's jacket on the counter as soon as he walked in, chuckling awkwardly.

"i may have accidentally taken your jacket yesterday after my appointment, so ah, here it is?" zayn grinned.

"oh, sick! thanks li!" he put the cup of (coffee? tea?) on the counter and eagerly reached for the jacket, shaking it out and shoving his arms into it till it swallowed him up. sighing contentedly, he mussed his hair and stumbled over to behind the counter to grab at the donuts and hand liam one.

"sorry," he chuckled at his gait. "really not a morning person." his voice was still unused and low and gorgeous but oh god zayn was far too cute right now for liam to think anything of it. he shook out his hair again, stretched and let out a little yawn before slumping down in his chair and closing his eyes, and liam could've just screamed.

"first appointment isn't till 8:30 bro, d'you wanna maybe stick around a bit? keep me company?" liam sighed.

"god i wish, but i've got a meeting i've got to get to," he said regretfully. zayn opened his eyes and pulled a face.

"maybe next time, then." liam grinned at his response.

"yeah, definitely." he hesitated a bit, not really wanting to leave. "thanks for the donut," he said, waving it around unnecessarily before taking a bite.

"you're very welcome, liam," zayn said amusedly as he finally started to wake. a smirk slowly settled on his lips as he leaned back in his chair, watching liam playfully. it was very clear to both boys that liam was stalling, so he chuckled awkwardly and walked towards the door.

"see you soon!" he called out as he left, praying that he didn't imagine zayn's tiny "hope so" right before the door clanged shut.

--- ---

and today was it. today was the day. liam thrummed with nervous energy as he drove up to zayn's clinic and parked. he had nearly turned around and sped back home three times, but he had tightened his hold on the wheel each time and forced himself to stay put. and now here he was, about to ask zayn out.

and maybe pick up his glasses, yeah. that too.

liam stayed in his car a little longer, telling himself he was simply waiting for the song to end as he stalled. the last 4 days had gone by as they usually do, with liam strictly not wrapping his hand around his cock to thoughts of zayn every night before bed.

(he did that in the shower instead, actually, but at least this way he wasn't lying when he was defending himself from louis.)

he had also contemplated a thousand and one different ways of asking zayn out, ranging from the cheesy and overly romantic roses and a poster to blunt, casual and confident.

none of his ideas had appealed to him enough to stick with one though, so liam had decided he was just gonna wing it. stutter and bumble his way through one of the most humiliating experiences of his life (because he had to try, didn't he?) and then sadly return home (with his glasses, hopefully). he unlocked his phone and thumbed through his voicemails till he found the one from zayn's clinic and smiled a little, playing it again and pretending like he wasn't a bit of a creep for listening to it so many times.

and there was zayn, advising "leeyum" to pick up his glasses and taking the extra time to leave the clinic's address, phone number and operating hours, even though they both knew he didn't have to.

it gave liam hope, actually. zayn probably didn't record the voicemails for all his clients, did he? shouldn't that have been harry's job? was this special treatment? was this his way of screaming DATE ME or was liam taking things just a bit too far?

liam hoped not.

the song finally ended and he shakily got out of the car, his palms sweating like he was 14 instead of 24. as he walked into the store, the bell rang and he ducked his head like a criminal afraid to draw attention to himself. liam almost laughed at how skittish he was.

"hey harry!" he said way too brightly as he approached the counter. harry thankfully chose not to remark on it, grinning widely instead.

"donut guy! let me get zayn for you," he said before quickly disappearing before liam had a chance to speak. he came out of the hallway two minutes later, dragging a disgruntled zayn in tow by the elbow who was practically hissing at harry.

"...with a patient harry-oh! hi liam!" he said, back straightening and voice brightening. liam tried not to smile too widely as little bursts of hope bloomed in his stomach.

"reading glasses, right?" he turned around and found the cabinet with liam's glasses on it, and liam thanked all the gods he knew that his last name was payne because the "p" drawer was in the row closest to the ground so of course zayn had to bend down and his ass was... wow. cute and tiny and-

"got 'em," he muttered as he walked over to pass liam the glasses, and as fucking cliche as it was, his hands brushed liam's again as he handed him the glasses case. all of liam's smooth trains of thoughts flew out the window as he opened his mouth.

"go out with me." liam blurted out.

"on a date." he said after a pause.

"please." liam felt a bit rude.

"subtle," zayn snorted in response. "but yes," he said happily, his face going from all mysterious and unaffected-looking to a giant grin far too wide for his face in 2 seconds.

"really?" liam said incredulously.

"yes, you donut. really," he giggled. liam almost cooed.

"um, okay! wow, yeah, that's great! so maybe a restaurant if that's not too boring?"

"so you're planning to wine and dine me, are you liam? 's quite gentlemanly of you, actually. i like it. does that mean you don't fuck on the first date?"

liam spluttered and zayn laughed.

"i'm just messing with you babe, i'm sorry. yeah, dinner sounds lovely." he smiled with his last sentence, soft and sincere and everything liam wanted right now.

"can i have your number, then?" liam dared to ask.

"yeah, let me put it in?" zayn reached for liam's phone, and liam unlocked it and handed it to him. this time the hand brushing was definitely deliberate, and liam grinned fondly at him. what a sap, honestly.

"what?" zayn asked self-consciously.

"oh, it's nothing." liam was still grinning, but zayn dropped it and typed his number in.

"so um, liam, i hate to do this to you, but i've still got a patient," zayn said apologetically as he handed back his phone.

"oh, yeah that's fine! go do your thing, i've got to go anyways. i'll text you?"

"yeah," zayn breathed out, relived.

"bye z! see you soon!" liam walked out, grinning to himself because he knew it was true this time. he watched zayn put his phone on charge through the glass and smirked to himself as he got into the car.

if he sent a text to zayn saying hm...... do i fuck on the first date? depends if you can handle 10 inches on the first date with a picture of his hand barely covering his dick just to watch zayn blush, bite down on his lip and swallow heavily, well, no one had to know.

 

el fin!

Notes:

A HUGEASS THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO LISTENED TO ME RAVE AND RAMBLE AND BRAG ABOUT THE WRITING PROCESS and also gave me the feedback and criticism i begged for... namely mariana, macey and dariana
and also thanks to nat for writing lines (that i later edited, but y'know. they made me move fast). love you guys :D