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Patroclus woke to movement near him. He blearily watched Achilles slip out of Chiron’s cave. He then sighed and closed his eyes again. For the past two weeks Achilles had been sneaking out and spending his whole day alone. Before then, other than visits to his mother, Achilles had brought Patroclus everywhere and told him everything and so this was starting to really get to Patroclus. Had he done something wrong? Was he boring Achilles? Did Achilles care about him anymore? Did Achilles even still love- No.
Patroclus shook his head to clear his thoughts and then got up. It wouldn’t do him any good to dwell on those types of thoughts for now. He decided that he might as well make some use of himself today and gather herbs and such for Chiron.
Patroclus didn’t see even a glimpse of Achilles for the whole day, which, although disappointing, he had come to expect at this point. He returned to the cave and after a while Achilles came back too. Patroclus decided to not to acknowledge him at first which left Achilles a bit confused.
“Patroclus,” he said with a grin.
Patroclus did not answer. Achilles then went to sit down next to him.
“Oh, I see you helped stock Chiron’s herbs today?”
Patroclus gave him a nod this time but did not look at him.
Achilles frowned, “Patroclus, why won’t you look at me?”
Patroclus lifted his head and studied Achilles’ face before responding coldly, “I thought you didn’t want to see me.”
Achilles was taken aback by this and softened his tone, “You’re my whole world, why would you think that?”
Patroclus felt his pent up frustration bubble up and he couldn’t push it back down.
“It’s because you leave to who knows where for most of the day and then refusing to talk to me about it when you come back! You’re not seeing your mother so what else could you be doing?” Patroclus paused, feeling tears welling up, “Do you… do you dislike being with me that much?”
At this Achilles was clearly shocked.
“What? No! I…” Achilles was at a loss for words but then he seemed to make up his mind.
Achilles grabbed his lyre and then took Patroclus’ hand and led him to a grove of trees. Once there, he let go and looked into Patroclus’ eyes with an unreadable expression, leaving Patroclus bewildered.
“What is this? Aren’t you going to tell me why you’ve been so secretive these past couple weeks?” Patroclus asked anxiously.
Achilles then blushed slightly and lowered his gaze, “I just wanted to make sure it was perfect before I showed you. Please, listen.”
Achilles began to play his lyre and sing. Patroclus gaped as soon as he heard it. As usual, Achilles’ voice was like the sun warming a cool summer’s day, and his lyre playing like raindrops on a lake, but what had shocked Patroclus were the lyrics. The song was about him! Achilles had spent all this time on writing a song for him!
Breathless, Patroclus asked, his eyes shining in amazement, “You wrote this for me?”
Achilles met his gaze with fondness and sincerity, “For you, I would write until the last sunset of the world.”
This time when he felt his eyes begin to water, Patroclus knew it was from relief.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier, I was being foolish,” Patroclus said, feeling ashamed of his behavior.
Achilles set his lyre down and then went to embrace Patroclus. While doing so, he closed his eyes and told Patroclus, “I said earlier that you are my whole world. I meant it so you have no need to apologize. I’m sorry to have made you feel that I did not care.”
Patroclus returned the embrace and felt a rush of love towards Achilles. Of course he wouldn’t leave or dislike Patroclus, they were two halves of a whole and could never be without one another.